As one hacker named 4chan put it: "The imperium is like a man hanging from a cliff with one arm and without strength to pull himself back up. He could use his other hand to hold on just a little longer, but he's busy using it to give the finger to all the bastards watching him dangle."
Summary: Star Trek fan: I'd rather not be a red shirt on a ship. Star Wars fan: I'd rather not be a Storm Trooper. 40K fan: I don't want to be here at all.
Star Trek: don’t wanna be a red shirt Star Wars: don’t wanna be a red trooper or the emperor guarded by red troopers. Or a red trooper on a ship that can’t fly up...... 40k *clears throat* red tings go fasta
@Captain's Commentary Ah, the Interim coalition of governance... the only faction in all of sci-fi that makes the Imperium look competent, reasonable, pacific and xenos-loving...
Not only does “everyone’s the bad guy” make you feel badass, but it also takes away the stress of having to pick the side that has the moral compass so you don’t feel bad when you don’t
I imagine a dude with a talking sword going "I... already told you... no, you can't take over the mind of my comrades, now let's go, I'll use you to kill some demons"
Even that alone would be seen as Heresy and you’d have to die. It’s clearly corrupting you so much already that you can’t help but openly talk to it. If you were found doing this, they’d just simply kill you. The Grey Knight who wields that sword remains completely silent. He does not talk, he does not stay around other people. He sits in complete isolation, in complete silence, with a completely still and quiet mind, and simply waits until he is truly needed in combat.
Well that's no fun. In my mind, it almost became an antagonistic buddy comedy. "Morning, evil sword." "Morning, Knight. Have you considered that the battle today might be a bit too much even for you, if you don't harness my full potential?" Grey Knight, unimpressedly pouring himself coffee: "Mmhm. You've tried that one."
@@gordonlove5121 Blizzard was developing a Warhammer game. During development the rights were lost. They created Warcraft from what they had. So since the beginning they were heavily inspired by GW universes yes.
Bricky: The Inquisition are the ONLY PEOPLE who can deem worlds- *The Dark Angels sitting in the back after nuking their own homeworld and every single traitor Primarch's homeworld*
It doesn't always matter what you're allowed to do, compared to what you can do. The planet you're bombing isn't going to check your paperwork to make sure they're allowed to die. But that's not quite the same thing as actually having the authority.
“These guys called the Chaos gods” Ooh who’s the purple one she’s pretty- “Imagine there’s satan, and then three other satans” Oh… Edit: now that I’ve been in the 40k community for some years; I can’t believe I almost fell for that bullshit
technically Slaanesh is a ‘they’ because they have taken on both male and female forms at different times (to the eldar they’re known as “she who thirsts” whilst daemons usually call them “the dark prince”). Definitely the most fun Chaos God to hang around with though, at least until they get bored of the sex, drugs and booze and instead decide to rearrange your muscle tendons into a still-living harp (that’s an actual daemon of slaanesh model)
I mean sure if you’re an empirial citizen as in a child or a soldier, the salamanders will save you, but if you’re an alien child... You’re getting beheaded. Everyone sucks
@@rosienelson1004 that's still better than some of the other Space Marines, not as good as the Tau, but it's hard to be better than the Tau in that regard. Edit: and let's not forget that when your Aliens are the Tyrannids, Necrons, and Chaos Demons, Xenophobia becomes a natural consequence of hostile neighbors.
2:42 What is Warhammer 40k 6:13 The Imperium and Horus Heresy 11:45 Astra Militarum 16:18 The Angels of Death 21:58 Adeptus Mechanicus 26:20 Adepta Sororitas 30:16 Grey Knights 33:58 Imperial Knights 35:21 Adeptus Custodes 40:23 Officio Assassinorum 46:14 The Inquisition
death korps of krieg is my personal favorite faction. When asked how did a civilian population survive the atmoic waste lands of kreig, an officer of kreig simply said, "there are no civilians here, only soldiers"
Imperial guard: 11:43 space marines: 16:19 (Ultramarines: 17:45 White scars: 17:59 Salamanders: 18:22 Imperial fists: 19:24 Raven guard: 19:28 Iron hands: 19:33 Space wolves: 19:39 Blood angels: 19:48 Dark angels: 19:59 Death watch: 20:11 Black Templar: 20:20) Adeptus Mechanicus: 22:00 Adepta sororitas: 26:20 Grey knights: 30:16 Imperial knights: 33:58 adeptus custodes: 35:22 Sisters of silence: 38:37 Oficio assasinorum: 40:25 The inquisition: 46:16. Edit: Here are the time stamps for specific factions. Tell me if I missed anything!
Bricky: *does a 50 min video talkin about lore and info about the races of a game* Me: notices it's barely part 1 "He is a man of focus, commitment and sheer fucking will"
And A Border Prince, and Wolf Lord Row, and Oculus Imperia, and Baldermorts guide to warhammer, and i know im still forgetting some more really enjoyable channels.
Literally the gateway to Warhammer 40k for millions. Thank you for making this video Bricky. Discovered both you and Warhammer through this video and I binge every episode of adric every sunday for funsies.
Yeah, we already have the Early Access versions of the Ecclesiarchy (Polish Catholic Church), the Inquisition (Ordo Iuris), the Corpse Emperor (Kaczyński) and even a Polish version of the Horus Heresy (Ziobro going against Kaczyński with his own party).
My favorite thing about the sisters of battle is that they exist in the lore because of a loophole. Under the Decree Passive the Ecclesiarchy were told the couldn't have any "men under arms". And technically they still don't.
I love those special 3, the sisters of battle - basically battlenuns in space, the deathwatch - basically seal team 6 but against xenos , and the grey knights - space marines exorcis that eat daemons for breakfast
Its the same with the witchking in Lord of the Rings. No man can slay hin. Up comes a woman and stabs him in the face. I bet they got this idea from Tolkien
as much as I do think that is very funny and fitting for the universe, I'm not sure how I feel about the main female fighters only being there because men couldn't do it. But also meh who cares
@@roguepsykerhaaker4813 its not about men not being abled to do it. its about men not being allowed to do it. so creating an all female armed force still gave the imperial church a way to defend the faith without violating any laws thus being a target for the inquisition ( and yes , they do act against ANYONE)
@@jessISaRicePrincess actually beings with very little souls don't get affected by warp stuff but nulls like the sisters of silence have negative soul like normal people have 1 they have -1.
@@here1359 is that lore? Because i read that nulls have no or little connection to the warp, that's different to the negative soul that you're talking about
@@jessISaRicePrincess While I'm a bit unclear on the exact definitions, there are indeed humans with a negative pshycic aura. These are the individuals that are turned into culexus assassins when discovered. And they are bone chillingly terrifying. A culexus's helmet is a weapon, as they use it to focus their negative null aura onto their target (typically a rouge psyker), which basically burns out the targets mind and soul, leaving only the body behind as a charred husk. But the helmet is also there to contain their null aura, since it has been trained and honed to such a degree that to a normal person, being in the same room as a culexus without it's helmet is pure agony that will make you go insane or beg for death if you stay in the room for to long. When deployed on missions, they have a handler from the assassin temple accompany them to make sure they don't come into contact with people unneccessarily. A culexus is also great at countering demons and chaos worshippers, and also the eldar (who possibly fear them even more than Slaneesh).
And then there's that fifth Satan, but he's too edgy for he's own good so no one really pays attention to him and he's not represented on the tabletop due to legal issues. -Cue raging from the Malal/Malice diehards of the 40k community.-
I was given the black armor characters about ten or so with a few blue alien guys when I was a kid. I’m modeling my own board game mix with other mini figures like toy soldiers into a chess/conmand and conquer combo style game. Looked up to buy bull war hammer characters to gain ideas from and had no clue it’d cost thousands to afford to do so.
The moment this guy said that the main bad guy is “The Imperium of Man”, I have already contact the local inquisition service line. It’s time for cleansing.
@@brothercaptainaurelian1386 there appears to be a man who's speaking heresy in are area and is making us loyal citizens rather uncomfortable when the fastest u can get here to burn the heretic alive?
my favorite small thing in warhammer 40k is the fan-made space marine chapter just called "Rational Marines" where they are so focused on simply being tactically effective that they were deemed heretical by multiple other chapters
My favorite summing up of 40k: Mandaloregaming: "Imagine Hulk Hogan is in a cathedral, and he's fighting the devil. Hogan is wearing about 30 trucks worth of metal. Also the cathedral is the size of Rhode Island... and in space."
I'm a bit late getting into the Warhammer 40k Lore and this 3 year old video of your, gave me some sort of a footing in the massive lore WH40K has. Thank you :)
One of the things you're forced to deal with as an inquisitor is other inquisitors. Sometimes they think you're over the line, and they have all the same authority as you when they want to slap you down.
A note: the eversor don't freeze their agents for giggles. They freeze them because once the conditioning is done there is nothing anyone can do to stop them murdering their former friends on the spot.
Also, if you somehow kill one they violently explode, killing you and everyone else in the room. Some of the chems they're injected with turns them into a living bomb that will trigger when their heart stops beating.
The thing that makes Adeptus Mechanicus my favorite faction, is that in some sense it is sensible. They dont just "pray" to machines to make them work, they have rituals honed over thousands of years. Imagine dropping a diesel truck into Roman times. Eventually, given enough experimentation, they would figure out that turning the ignition key, awakes the machine. And they would figure out that pushing the pedals, makes it go forward. When the fuel runs out, if we pretend they HAD some diesel available (or perhaps the engine can run on alcohol), eventually they would figure out that "feeding" the machine this liquid, makes it continue to live. This is what the Adeptus Mechanicus does with the ancient tech they do NOT have engineering blueprints or instruction manuals for. They themselves think its a religious ritual, but in fact it is certain key steps in those rituals that enable the machines to work. For example, in the analogy above, the ancient Romans might develop religious ceremonies where they chant and light thousands of candles around the truck, bathe it in the blood of virgins, and at the crecendo of the ritual, they pour the fuel (diesel or alcohol) into the fuel tank, turn the ignition, and the beast awakens. So 90% of their religious ritual, doesnt do anything, but because they've done it the same way for decades, they THINK all steps are required. So they simply continue to do all steps. And the insane thing is, we "may" have a similar situation in real life when / if we ever acquire alien artifacts. We wont know HOW they exactly work, or WHY they work, but with enough experimentation, a sequence of steps makes it work. And to avoid fucking up, we keep doing each step in the sequence, without knowing which one is the critical one.
I mean if you ever talk to anyone who works/ed in a lab there are usually weird rituals. Heard stories of scientist leaving little offering of snacks to tools or machines or having a very specific routine to make sure something works. Whether they really believe in it fully who knows but the rituals exist already
@@Haispawner There is a good chance that "machine spirits" are just poorly understood A.I., at least in the most advanced machines like titans, knights, and tanks
These Grey Knights are a myth, where ever did you hear something silly like that? Now if you'll all follow me out back to the conveniently dug trench that looks in no way like a mass grave, that'd be just peachy.
@@zeralmahib2549 yeah but that is basically the same as the clash between orthodoxy and catholicism in the sense that Catholics believed christ was a part of or the embodiment of god or whatever, while orthodox believed he was just the human son of god or whatever (not too big on religion), and that ended with two roman empires.
@@zeralmahib2549, Heresy is Heresy, but there is acceptable Heresy.......apparently XD There is no innocence, only to reason with guilt - *some random inquisitor dude*
@@notoffensivenpc8400 Yeah, but it's still Christianity you know, so as long as there are pagans and shit, they put their differences aside and fight united.
@@lkvideos7181 actually the Catholics ignored Constantinople during its final days until the byzantinians agreed to admit Catholicism was superior and after the Pope sent troops, it was too late. Also we can and have written tomes on what cunts the Catholics were to the protestants and how kings would order for the execution of believers in different sects of christianity. The only reason why the gap between orthodoxy and Catholicism is just now being filled is because people just care way less about religion and the churches aren't gaining political power from the gap like they used to. The main religion of the imperium (forgot the name) doesn't need and doesn't want a gap though since the tech freaks are way too valuable to have a religious conflict with, at least on a large scale, and the main religion already is too widely spread, where as the tech freaks are confined to one small red planet, so there is no risk in letting them run rampant.
I am currently playing 40k: Space Marine 2 and I really love the lore and characters. This universe felt very daunting to get into, but I want to thank you for making this video fun and informative! Your video is very accessible and I won't hesitate to recommend it to others like me!
For everyone wondering, the outro music is called "Children of the Omnissiah", it's a part of Warhammer 40000: Mechanicus' OST as well as "Dance of the Cryptek". Go check that OST out, it slaps so hard that my laptop gained its own Machine Spirit
Three young people find a magic lamp. A genie comes out of it and promises to take them to their favorite universe. Girl with a Harry Potter bag: "I'm gonna study at Hogwarts!!" Guy in a Star Trek T-shirt: "I'm finally gonna see the Enterprise!!" Guy with an aquila pendant: *"DO NOT!!!"*
@@Ultraempoleon To my understanding, there are 20, but 2 of them committed such abhorrent and heinous acts that they were effectively wiped from existence and memory. Note: I am not an expert.
Fun Fact: Lasguns actually do jam. Imperial Guardsmen are actually taught to mutter a prayer called "The Litany of Unjamming" to the Omnissiah if their lasgun fails them in battle.
EDIT: If you're here to learn about the weird ball in "Astartes Part 5" man I don't know shit that's beyond my INT 1 brain While it isn't perfect (a few mic pops, and still working on pacing) this is the video I've been going crazy over for the past month. Definitely took a while, but I hope it was informative or at least entertaining. If you want to support me and my future content, you can check out my patreon or merch store in the description! Or just hop by a stream if you want to chat. Thanks so much for watching
I'm just getting into 40k since I recently found a dusty old Space Crusade game and Combat Cards from when I was young. I'd like to say thanks for making this guide. It's structured and delivered perfectly for me. I had no idea just how much lore there is. And so far, I'm finding it amazing. Great work!
For those who dont understand the "he created 20 primarchs, no 18." joke, well there were 2 extra primarchs but the Big E straight deleted them from existence
I don’t know anything about WH40K but this Dude got me so hyped up that I want to know everything about it now. 😂 Like watching him getting all hyped up about the topics made my day. Probably one of the best Videos I‘ve ever seen
Thats because all you do is stay in trenches and breath toxic fumes as chaos marines crush your skulls into the 21st millenium, your gas masked odd balls are basically just mechanicus wannabes lol
Same energy as begging and pleading for your car with a dodgy alternator and starter to please crank over so you can drive it to the garage if you can afford it, home if you can't.
As someone who knows absolutely nothing about Warhammer, I didn't even know there's a difference between Fantasy Warhammer and Warhammer 40k, HOLY SHIT this wasn't what I expected
Lol yep. Warhammer Fantasy is just pure Fantasy. Orcs, Goblins, and true Medieval style Humans and LOTR style Elves. Warhammer 40k is a completely different Universe that has nothing to do with Warhammer Fantasy at all, and takes place in the year 40,000 A.D. Lots of really wacky Techno-Religious Zealotry, Guttertrash Cockney Orks, and super sexy but absolutely terrifying alien Elves.
Halo: Ok so imagine this parasitic race that is undying and constantly threatens to eradicate all organisms in the universe. 40K: Ok imagine that but THERE'S AT LEAST FIVE OF THEM AND THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT FACTIONS
toss Arch warhammer if you have home chores to do and you want to hear a Norwegian Butters saying something about the 'stretch of imagination' over 99 times per video.
@@margar9021 Ok, libtard. The guy makes consistently well researched and entertaining videos, but because you don't agree with him on some issues you basically label him a nazi and discount the quality of his content. I assume you do have a brain, have you tried using it?
Chaos space marine: "FOOLISH COMMISSAR! WE HAVE KILLED THOUSANDS OF GUARDSMEN AND YOU ONLY KILLED 4 OF US" commissar: ....... commissar: "SEND IN THE SECOND WAVE"
Loved the space marine game and buddy of mine from work told me to check out y’all’s podcast. I’m loving it so far and I can’t stop listening and learning about it now. I always wanted to get into it but didn’t know where to start.
23:22 the more I learn about programming, the more I understand why the mechanicus belive in a sentient being that makes machines work at their whim, and to who you have to pray and make sacrifices
@@elevationsickness8462 I was writing a pretty simple configuration class while watching this video... and it just won't show up in the final compile No matter What I Tried. I vaguely heard this guy talking about machine gods, so I stopped working on the code, heard the whole section about the said god, then went back to the work and compiled again. And the result showed up perfectly fine. And I went... okay, guess I worship this God now.
Enjoyed these video, and your style of explaining these factions. Saw you on play on, and also enjoyed your play style. I was able to understand all these armies and I have an idea who I want to play the game with.
Sad kriegsmen gasmask noises.. He only desires to give his life so others may live. Come to think of it most of the guardsman are good folk defending their homes.
I don't remember the book's name, but there is a quote for when some Wordbearers hear the phrase "The GOD Emperor" from an inquisitor, and just absolutely lose their sh*t rofling in front of her(?) because... it means they won. As far as they were concerned, the Wordbearers goal of divining the Emperor succeeded
@@bogdangabrielonete3467 the emperor said himself, he never wanted to be seen as a god by his people. Which sucks that that is what is currently happening. I hope something happens where they respect him but don't reveer him as a god. Because I love how (somewhat) humble he is. Feel super bad for the guy.
Bricky forgot to mention that Eversors are also living bombs. When an Eversor assassin sustains too much damage, they get pumped with an additional cocktail of drugs that turns all their tissue into an explosive compound.
@@DMDarren correct me if im wrong but basically the dimension people use to teleport is made by the ideas and imagination of people, so if a large group of people believe hard enough, basically becomes real
@@danielruiz8259 The only known humans who have faith strong enough to manifest literal miracles are the sisters of battle. Their faith is different to grey knights or custodies, as custodies are literally designed and gene coded to be 100% loyal to the emperor and no1 else, and grey knights condition themselves so that they see themselves as living manifestations of the emperor's divine will. The Sisters however, see themselves as willing human servants of the god of humanity. And their faith is so strong it actually enables the emperor to influence the material world. This is why the sisters army on the tabletop has an actual mechanic that is the manifestation of miracles (called "miracle dice"), and is essentially things like avoiding killing blows that should have hit, critically injuring their opponents with spooky ease, and other similar things. In the official trailer where you see sisters, primaris marines and necrons, you see a perfect example of a sister using prayer to heal a lethal injury caused by a necron weapon. While the sisters are possible for chaos to corrupt, they take a LOT of time and effort before they finally break. Grey Knights use shitload of specific anti-demon measures where even their names are crafted to have an arcane anti-demon effect, and the purest among them (the purifyers) have an aura around them that literally burns demons to ash slowly if then simply stand to close to the purifyer. The custodies are so unbreakably loyal by design that a demon once remarked that even with constant efforts, the heat death of the universe would have time to happen before a custodian could ever become corrupted.
*Sister of Battle:* So do you not believe in the Emperor? *Tech Priest:* We believe he was built, and he was a very well programmed man, but he wasn't our messiah. *Sister of Battle:* Interessing... *cocks bolter*
0:00 Introduction 0:26 Summary 0:47 Exposition 2:39 The Universe 6:10 The Imperium and the Horus Heresy 11:30 Astra Militarum / Imperial Guard 16:12 Adeptus Astartes / Space Marines 21:51 The Adeptus Mechanicus 26:13 The Adepta Sororitas / Sisters of Battle 30:10 The Grey Knights 33:53 Imperial Knights 35:15 Adeptus Custodes 38:34 Sisters of Silence 40:19 Officio Assasinorum 41:30 Vindicare Temple 42:21 Caliidus Temple 43:11 Eversore Temple 44:13 Culexus Temple 46:06 The Inquisition 48:50 Exterminatus 51:04 Outro
I have casually watched this video like 8 times during the quarantine while WFH. You're great at explaining otherwise nightmarishly complicated subjects in a funny / entertaining way. You should really do more videos like this man. Subbed.
"GUNNER, DO YOU SEE THAT BUNKER?" "Yes, sir" "I don't want to" "Yes sir" Edit:holy fucking shit why did this get so many likes,keep it up,can we get 0 dislikes and 1.5 likes?
I have to be honest, this being my first introduction to Warhammer lore, I am astounded. The world seems so vast and involved, endless chaos and war and a plethora awesome characters, this is exactly what I was looking for
There are almost 400 (if not more) books set in the Warhammer 40K universe. So as an introduction read “The Road to War”. Horus heresy is the most extensively covered event. Having around 50 books dedicated to it. Plus siege of terra books, as well as the primearch novels, you have around 70-80 books covering a single 9 year event from dozens of perspectives. Funny thing is that Horus heresy series has lasted longer then the Horus heresy itself. Series has been going on for 12 years and Horus heresy lasted 9 years. Other then that, I suggest you read the eisenhorn trilogy. The Gaunts Ghosts series is also DOPE! Also if you want some traitor perspective, I don’t think you’ll find anything better then the Night Lords omnibus. If you want something more light hearted try the ciaphas Cain books. If you want something more recent… well, no better place to start then the dark imperium novels. It has everything you would want in a 40k novel and more. (Way more) Some personal suggestions: Emperor’s gift, fear to tread, devastation of Baal, storm of iron, Chadian blood, dead men walking… (the first 3 are one of my favorites.) You’ll probably not gonna read the whole Horus heresy. That’s a multi year journey, so here are some of the best novels from Horus heresy: Horus rising (A MUST READ), galaxy in flames, Fulgrim(you get both istvaan 3 atrocity and Istvaan 5 dropsite massacre. As far as I know no other book covers as much regarding istvaan as this. And for those 2 events alone it’s worth it.), legion, Prospero burns, Know no fear and betrayer as well as the Unremembered empire, the master of menkind, Garro, Wolfsbane… I haven’t gotten to siege of terra, or rather I haven’t started. I’m waiting it to finish and I’ll see which books I’ll buy.
Here’s brief overview of the whole 40k universe, covering the most notable events in a sarcastic tone: (note, if something makes no sense… it’s probably sarcasm.) Bunch of millions years ago a race of frog people (now known as the old ones.) became super technologically advanced… they got bored, as beings that could do pretty much anything probably would and after discovering the warp (which is like a copy of the universe pasted at random time intervals with seemingly random stuff according to wills of all living and dead beings), they basically turned themselves into super space wizards and started planting life around the universe. Around this time, a cancer ridden race now known as the necrons colonized a small part of the galaxy and came in contact with the frog people! They had cancer because of their radiation blasted world and couldn’t live very long so they asked the frog people to share their secret to immortal. The frog people were like: “ha, you see… you just need to get gud” The cancer ridden race didn’t like that and went to war with the superpowerful super mega super space wizard superbeings. They lost… unsurprisingly. Then they got depressed and started looking for ways to get revenge, in their search they found old ass star eating gods. They worshiped them and made them robot bodies. The star gods promised the cancer ridden race immortality and delivered on that promise by sucking their souls dry and turning them into robots! Afterwards they went to war with the frog people and won(after allegedly several million years of fighting)… but then the star gods went to war with each other and devoured each other, allowing the now soulless undead robot race to imprison the star gods by breaking them into pieces and using them as batteries. The wannabe elves who were made by the frog people to fight for them, stole the old ones technology and continued the war with the soulless robot people. The robot people couldn’t just curb stomp this wannabe elves, because they had lost lots of strength with their battle against the frog people and battle against their gods, so the robot people went:”fuck this! If we fight this wannabes, we’ll waste unnecessary resources and may lose”. So, they go into a long ass slumber… but accidentally set their alarms at 60 million years instead of 6k years. Forward 60 million years, on earth couple of millennia before Jesus bullshit; bunch of knock-off psykers bash their cocks with rocks and conjoin to become: THE BIG DICK E HIMSELF! THE ALL GREAT EMPEROR OF MANKIND, BELOVED BY ALL! Ahem* He can see the future, smash planets, battle star eating gods and shit… he’s like super duper mega space wizard. Anyway, after like 1000 years or so, he finally went: “let’s see what’s going on in the warp… WTF? What’s this? What’s that? Wtf are those?” After seeing the corruption in the warp he was like: “plans A-O for humanities domination of the galaxy are all failures! Time for plan P.” So He waited 30k+ years to start working on his plan. durning this time humanity became a galaxy wide empire becoming one of the most powerful empire ever to live in the galaxy… they then created skynet and basically fell back into the medieval ages but with super advanced tech. After they were done getting their ass kicked by robots, they lost the ability to travel faster then light, because the elves had so much hardcore sex/bdsm/balltorture that it created a new chaos god. Slaanesh(yes… that’s cannon. This really happened). The birth of this (dude? girl? Femboy… let’s go with that.) created warp storms that disallowed warp travel because of galaxy wide warp storms…(warm storms are like storms, in hell.). and warp was what humans used to travel faster then light… but the usual method of traveling through space hell, no longer worked because of the storms wracking the space hell. Hence many world were isolated from the greater human empire, descending into utter anarchy. To Make things worse daemons started to crawl out of people’s holes and eat their holes. Shit was wild… Around this time emperor woke up from his 30k year nap and realized his set his alarm 29k years to late and went: “fuuuuuck… welp I better try to salvage this.” So he conquered earth from barbarians and jacked off into a tube. He then used some wizard god jizz he stole from the chaos gods (don’t ask how) and mixed it with his jizz to make 20 P - BIG R - DICK I - SUPERBEING M - WITH E - DADDY A - AND R - MOMMY C - ISSUES ‘S Soon after, their mommy went a bit nuts and threw the baby primes into a warp portal, causing them to get shat out on to shit planets! (One of them even had to crawl out of several kilometers of magma… like, imagine being born a few weeks ago, your mom throwing you into a portal made by 4 satans and having to literally crawl (as a newborn) from a core of planet to its surface through molten metal and rock just to be hunted by the people of the said planet.) Most of them got abused as children so most of them were buttshit crazy. (I don’t think you can blame some of them…) After finding them all, his favorite son “Horus” drank some chaos jizz and he was like: “I wanna be the emperor!!!” So he tried to kill his father… but failed and got his soul destroyed with a kamaaaaaa hamaaaaaa haaaaaaa Oh, and his nerd son with red skin and blue balls took a shit in his birthday cake for humanity that would have free it from having to go through literal space hell just to travel faster then light and instead, gave daemons a direct door from their living rooms to terra. The heresy ends with emperor crippled and sat upon a throne that keeps that door shut. As well as him shining his cocklight to guide imperial ships through spacehell. A few centuries later all the primearchs vanish cause they got bored. Fastforward 10k years later, because nothing really interesting happens(other then the Nyds) because GW forgot to cover it… humanity is being buttfucked by orks, Tyranids, daemons, eldar, necrons and everything else that can get a hit in. (Including even the tau.) To make things worse, knock off Horus known as Abbadon fails 12 crusades and on the 13th he accidentally tears the galaxy in 2 with a huge ass warp rift, which disallows emperor’s cocklight to work on one side of the imperium. With the great rift’s opening, daemons start popping out and going nuts on thousands of worlds. BUT WORRY NOT!!! A big dick son of the emperor “Guilliman” woke up from his 10k year old nap. He was like “this galaxy needs some ass kicking”, so he proceeded to fuck up every daemon shit that got the misfortune to meet him. He eventually arrived on terra and kicked even more daemon ass and likely saved the whole planet form a huge ass khorn army. He talked to his father and got a bit frisky, so he yelled real loud to every imperial world to rally up on terra and join him on a huge ass crusade! He proceeded to save thousands of worlds with a huge ass fleet and kicked uncounted daemon ass… in the middle of his crusade he got killed by one of his traitor brothers and came back to life after being possessed by the emperor, who proceeded to burn one of the chaos gods garden. Edit: After some back and forth war between chaos and the imperium, Vashtorr an uppety, Arogant greater daemon that no chaos god wants, decides that he has been bullied enough after being told to sort it out by knock off Horus… so he starts looking for a weapon. Weapon, is hidden somewhere in the webway… and to unlock the weapon one needs another weapon that is also a key for the said weapon, which he plans to use to somehow grant himself godhood. Shit goes down and the entire dark angels legion ends up fighting with him and traitor forces. Dark angels get massacred and it’s made worse when Angron shows up. Then Dante shows up to fight Angron and nearly gets killed, but worry not Fucking Lion shows up just in time and banishes Angron. Oh and vashtorr gets the key because he was no where near where the fighting was… dark Angels lost HAAAARD here! Currently that’s where we stand.
Quotes every Beginner needs to know: 1. *FOR THE EMPEROR* / *IN THE EMPERORS NAME* / *THE EMPEROR PROTECTS* 2. *BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE* 3. *For the Greater Good* 4. *CADIA BROKE BEFORE THE GUARD DID* 5. *XENOSCUM* And why are the T'au so far up the Evil Guy list? Is it the gun lines? Its the gun lines isnt it? Tripple Riptides? Is that it?
I think its the fact that their greater good is just a way of enslaving other races by promising happiness and equality while in reality they are pushed into a cast system where they are seen as trash not worthy of even existing near the Tau themselves.
@@Sorain1 "Imagine a God of Honour, and he is evil" That would be Khorne xD And "Imagine a God of Happiness, and he is evil" That would be Slaanesh And "Imagine a God of Tolerance & Friendship, and he is evil" That would be Nurgle
35:35 I feel you, brother. I've been playing since '89 when my brother's classmate showed us Rogue Trader. Mistakes were made when I picked up my 1st tactical squad that same weekend. 35 years later, I have 8 armies ready to go when I hear someone is interested. I give them 1st pick from my collection with the stipulation that they must think they look cool, and we go from there.
@@noirto2 I mean it is factually correct, a time span of let me just guess 10500 years for example is longer than 100 centuries and longer than 100 years, the 100 centuries is just closer and a better descriptive than the 100 years
Nah, the Imperium might be the most fleshed-out faction, but Chaos, Necrons, Orks and Eldar are huge as well. Actually, the only ones that don't have that much lore are the Tau, but... they are Tau, who cares? :
Imagine being a guardsmen in the heat of battle, your friends dying left and right by milions. Then right when you are about to be horribly sawed in half or something a 8ft tall golden guy appears and saves you then pledges to protect you.
@@lkvideos7181 well if we are going to get so picky then the adeptus custodes never going to have any reason to help a fucking guardsmen and even less reason to ¨pledge to protect you¨ you are not the emperor, so... yeah i guessing they gona let the grey knights do his work.
As one hacker named 4chan put it:
"The imperium is like a man hanging from a cliff with one arm and without strength to pull himself back up.
He could use his other hand to hold on just a little longer, but he's busy using it to give the finger to all the bastards watching him dangle."
Hahahahaha YEEEEESSSSSS! I haven't laughed as hard as I just did in months. Thank you so much for bringing that to my attention.
that is exactly how i wanna die XD
This is amazing, I tip my standard issue guardsman helmet to you.
@Vasian Vasianich Need to forge the iron when it is hot :D
Dude I remember 4chan when Trump made the space force, he became god emperor Trump that day lmao
Summary:
Star Trek fan: I'd rather not be a red shirt on a ship.
Star Wars fan: I'd rather not be a Storm Trooper.
40K fan: I don't want to be here at all.
Star Trek: don’t wanna be a red shirt
Star Wars: don’t wanna be a red trooper or the emperor guarded by red troopers. Or a red trooper on a ship that can’t fly up......
40k *clears throat* red tings go fasta
40k fan who's been around for a long time: I only want to be here if I get to be an Ork. Otherwise, _HARD PASS._
@Captain's Commentary Ah, the Interim coalition of governance... the only faction in all of sci-fi that makes the Imperium look competent, reasonable, pacific and xenos-loving...
Captain's Commentary u have gotten me interested in something new thanks
Rather be an Ork or Tyranid
i once heard the best summary for the lore of 40k for the Emperium: "Imagine siding with the Nazis because they are fighting C'thulu"
Nazis but the government is more like the Holy Roman Empire style confederation
I'd fight C'thulu with the Nazis. Hell, I'd go after Yog-Sothoth too.
@midgetydeath FAK
That is such a good analogy I love it
You'd like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure...
Not only does “everyone’s the bad guy” make you feel badass, but it also takes away the stress of having to pick the side that has the moral compass so you don’t feel bad when you don’t
One of the reasons no one likes the tau. That, and they don’t engage in *GLORIOUS MELEE COMBAT*
@@mcarrowtime7095get outta here Banana-Man😂😂
To be fair, the Tyranids just wanna Nom.
@@greghannibal yes, but genocidal consumption of all life isn't exactly a good thing either
@@mcarrowtime7095 Yeah, but they're not doing it because they're evil.
The best summary I heard for Wh 40k was:
"Wait. That thing's way too powerfu-.
Oh no wait, it's dead."
I think we were introduced by the same source, although I don't remember the neame
@@awesomeawesome8350 That was probably Kirioth.
Specifically his "Why Wh40k always wins" video is also a great introduction to it.
@@kukelhupf yeah that is where I heard it.
Yup
"so, Bricky, how much money have you spent on your guardsmen army?"
" *U N T O L D B I L L I O N S* "
yes
1% of the US' yearly military expenditure
@@FrontlinerCdV this is where the budget really goes
@@FrontlinerCdV lmfao
"...if you haven't prayed at least three times a day, you're gonna be praying out that airlock." Yep, sounds about right
"And on the table top they fuck, oh the fuck hard"
LOL 😂
Imagine atheist......(lol)
Oh wait I'm an atheist f@ck
@@erichrandomstranger1243 🙄
I read this comment right as he said it in the video haha what are the chances
I imagine a dude with a talking sword going "I... already told you... no, you can't take over the mind of my comrades, now let's go, I'll use you to kill some demons"
Even that alone would be seen as Heresy and you’d have to die. It’s clearly corrupting you so much already that you can’t help but openly talk to it. If you were found doing this, they’d just simply kill you.
The Grey Knight who wields that sword remains completely silent. He does not talk, he does not stay around other people. He sits in complete isolation, in complete silence, with a completely still and quiet mind, and simply waits until he is truly needed in combat.
Well that's no fun. In my mind, it almost became an antagonistic buddy comedy. "Morning, evil sword." "Morning, Knight. Have you considered that the battle today might be a bit too much even for you, if you don't harness my full potential?" Grey Knight, unimpressedly pouring himself coffee: "Mmhm. You've tried that one."
@@igor_kossovcue Seinfeld theme and copy and paste laughtrack from friends
@@igor_kossov
"Cmoooooooonnnnn just lemme have five minutes of control so I can go hammmm"
I can hear the sword saying "fck your puny god ill show you what true power is"
I think you forgot to tell us that 40K isn't the year but rather the price of the minis.
damn, that's pretty cheap for a few billion normal soldiers. might get some for myself
That seems pretty cheep for the size of the army they're listing.
I think he means the figures you buy for games
miro Vesterinen that’s what I thought then I realized it was a tabletop game
@@u.s.k.maalof4969 nah its 40k for 10 plastic army men
“Everyone’s a villain in 40k.”
“ 'XEPT DA ORKS YA ZOGGIN GIT! WE'Z GOT NO KWARRELZ WIF ENYONE, WE JUST WANNA GUD OL FITE.”
FITE IZ FITE YE GIT!
LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET(?
@@ili5207 DA ‘ELL YOU SAY? SPEAK UP YA ZOGGIN GIT OR I’LL ROKK YA SKULL AND BASH YA TEEF IN
In the cause of the Greater Good, we'll give you a fight all right. Come take a plasma bath you overgrown mushrooms.
Bold words for someone in assault canon range.
Nurgle: Fat satan
Tzeentch: scheming satan
Slaanesh: Thot satan
Khorne flakes: Just satan, but angrier.
Now that’s facts
White scars:I am SPEED
@• _ • Hi His warriors like khorne flakes. And thats half of the reason why they have to kill everyone in sight, even their own kin
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES
@@gordonlove5121 Blizzard was developing a Warhammer game. During development the rights were lost. They created Warcraft from what they had. So since the beginning they were heavily inspired by GW universes yes.
Bricky: The Inquisition are the ONLY PEOPLE who can deem worlds-
*The Dark Angels sitting in the back after nuking their own homeworld and every single traitor Primarch's homeworld*
Johnsons sons definitely competing against the Inquisition.
It doesn't always matter what you're allowed to do, compared to what you can do. The planet you're bombing isn't going to check your paperwork to make sure they're allowed to die. But that's not quite the same thing as actually having the authority.
El’Johnson is a bit above the Inquisition in hierarchy I believe
@@Ballin4Vengeanceyeahhh Lion would be completely unbothered by anything any Inquisitor says 😂
@@DeltaWhiskeyGames Oh he would be bothered
Greatly so. And shoot the inquisitor for bothering him.
16:06 Bad aim? Look, when you're throwing a wall at the enemy it doesn't matter which brick kills them.
This is the best comment I've ever read. It actually made me laugh.
LOOOL
No no he's got a point
-Sun Tzu
The Art of War
I think you've just summed up the entirety of Imperium doctrine.
Friend of mine explaining how to play warhammer 40k:
“You die. Everything dies. Thats it.”
That's pretty accurate. Especially if you're playing the imperial guard. Throwing half a million men and women at 10 Tyranids and Calling it a win. :)
The Black Baron *billion
@@genericchannelname4110 'course they're fighting 'Nids, so there may be a billion guardsmen, but what can they do against a hundred billion gaunts?
Gaster Blaster dig a few billion graves?
Except the Necrons. They're already dead...
Oh, and the demons. They just respawn in the warp...
“These guys called the Chaos gods”
Ooh who’s the purple one she’s pretty-
“Imagine there’s satan, and then three other satans”
Oh…
Edit: now that I’ve been in the 40k community for some years; I can’t believe I almost fell for that bullshit
Be wary of Slaanesh my child for they are pain and pleasure in equal measure.
They are:
Angry satan
Nerd satan
Covid satan
Horny satan
@@eliseorengelgarcia6364 I've lost it at "COVID Satan" so clever!
technically Slaanesh is a ‘they’ because they have taken on both male and female forms at different times (to the eldar they’re known as “she who thirsts” whilst daemons usually call them “the dark prince”). Definitely the most fun Chaos God to hang around with though, at least until they get bored of the sex, drugs and booze and instead decide to rearrange your muscle tendons into a still-living harp (that’s an actual daemon of slaanesh model)
Slaneesh is (to me) the worst of the Chaos Gods. It is about excess of everything. Pleasure, pain, everything
"It's like Nether travel in Minecraft" is the best analogy I've heard of someone explaining The Warp
The Salamanders are the most heartwarming, possibly because their hearts are literally on fire.
VULCAN LIVES!!! (STOMP, STOMP)
Nearly dead imperial citizen: h-help meeee
Salamanders: *Jamaican cheery accent" Hello my friend :D, It looks like you need a hug :)
I mean sure if you’re an empirial citizen as in a child or a soldier, the salamanders will save you, but if you’re an alien child...
You’re getting beheaded.
Everyone sucks
@@rosienelson1004 Fuck alien children. They are filthy xenos and deserve death.
@@rosienelson1004 that's still better than some of the other Space Marines, not as good as the Tau, but it's hard to be better than the Tau in that regard.
Edit: and let's not forget that when your Aliens are the Tyrannids, Necrons, and Chaos Demons, Xenophobia becomes a natural consequence of hostile neighbors.
2:42 What is Warhammer 40k
6:13 The Imperium and Horus Heresy
11:45 Astra Militarum
16:18 The Angels of Death
21:58 Adeptus Mechanicus
26:20 Adepta Sororitas
30:16 Grey Knights
33:58 Imperial Knights
35:21 Adeptus Custodes
40:23 Officio Assassinorum
46:14 The Inquisition
Been looking for something like this
Tanks :3
You're appreciated
Replying to boost
hopefully you get pined or hearted for your work
"Everyone's evil"
in comes a salamander cradling a human child as if it is God-emperor himself.
Vulkan once set an Eldar child on fire.
@@theoneandonlygrod that's a suspiciously heretic way of spelling "filthy xenos".
@@SirRichfield Agreed. He didn't even bother to smash the creature's spirit stone and offer up it's soul to the Dark Prince. Such a waste.
I want a salamander to carry me like that
The Blood Angels arnt evil, you just think they are as they rip through anything in between your blood and them
death korps of krieg is my personal favorite faction.
When asked how did a civilian population survive the atmoic waste lands of kreig, an officer of kreig simply said, "there are no civilians here, only soldiers"
"lets start with the main bad guy, the Imperium of Man"
Sisters of Battle: So the heretic has chosen death
All heretics are dead by default. Some of them just don't know about it yet.
"Who are the bad guys in 40k?"
"Yes"
I'm sure the Inquisitor would love to have a word with this man.
Whomsoever've has summoned the hollow knight fandom
@@awesomeawesome8350 incorrect.
Orks are the only good guys.
Imperial guard: 11:43 space marines: 16:19 (Ultramarines: 17:45 White scars: 17:59 Salamanders: 18:22 Imperial fists: 19:24 Raven guard: 19:28 Iron hands: 19:33 Space wolves: 19:39 Blood angels: 19:48 Dark angels: 19:59 Death watch: 20:11 Black Templar: 20:20) Adeptus Mechanicus: 22:00 Adepta sororitas: 26:20 Grey knights: 30:16 Imperial knights: 33:58 adeptus custodes: 35:22 Sisters of silence: 38:37 Oficio assasinorum: 40:25 The inquisition: 46:16. Edit: Here are the time stamps for specific factions. Tell me if I missed anything!
Jesus that a lot of space marines
Dungeon skeleton. _____spooky_____
Really wish we could get this to top comment
@@The_pie_master 'A lot of space marines' mate thats only the big names, theres 1000 of these guys
Danke sehr
You are the best kind of poster
Bricky: *does a 50 min video talkin about lore and info about the races of a game*
Me: notices it's barely part 1
"He is a man of focus, commitment and sheer fucking will"
PeeKayU see; “Luetin09” channel
@@pianospawn1 and Arch Warhammer, 40KTheories, and the Text-to-Speech series.
The BOogyman!
And A Border Prince, and Wolf Lord Row, and Oculus Imperia, and Baldermorts guide to warhammer, and i know im still forgetting some more really enjoyable channels.
@@pianospawn1 Luetin protects. Would never know as much about 40k without hin.
Literally the gateway to Warhammer 40k for millions. Thank you for making this video Bricky. Discovered both you and Warhammer through this video and I binge every episode of adric every sunday for funsies.
Bricky: Primarchs, he created 20...
*Inquisitor approaches*
Bricky: ...18
This seriously made me LOL :P
ahem ...... 19 ........ I AM ALPHARIUS!
22
I’m sorry heretic, he created 9 to fight against those 9 demons
"Warhammer 40k is probably the most dark and depressing universe"
My man never heard of Poland
Yeah, we already have the Early Access versions of the Ecclesiarchy (Polish Catholic Church), the Inquisition (Ordo Iuris), the Corpse Emperor (Kaczyński) and even a Polish version of the Horus Heresy (Ziobro going against Kaczyński with his own party).
Poland is Imperium of Man confirmed??!!
@@Shanoyu19271 Always has been.
Makes sense.
Eastern Europe is just PUBG
My favorite thing about the sisters of battle is that they exist in the lore because of a loophole. Under the Decree Passive the Ecclesiarchy were told the couldn't have any "men under arms". And technically they still don't.
I love those special 3, the sisters of battle - basically battlenuns in space, the deathwatch - basically seal team 6 but against xenos , and the grey knights - space marines exorcis that eat daemons for breakfast
Its the same with the witchking in Lord of the Rings. No man can slay hin. Up comes a woman and stabs him in the face. I bet they got this idea from Tolkien
as much as I do think that is very funny and fitting for the universe, I'm not sure how I feel about the main female fighters only being there because men couldn't do it. But also meh who cares
@@roguepsykerhaaker4813 its not about men not being abled to do it. its about men not being allowed to do it. so creating an all female armed force still gave the imperial church a way to defend the faith without violating any laws thus being a target for the inquisition ( and yes , they do act against ANYONE)
@@raikbarczynski6582 I suppose able might have been the wrong word but my point still stands
This... is the video that singlehandedly got me into the awesome world of warhammer40k
2:39 - Universe
11:35 - Astra Militarum / Imperial Guard
16:18 - Space Marines / Adeptus Astartes
21:57 - Adeptus Mechanicus
26:15 - Sisters of Battle / Adepta Sororitas
30:15 - Grey Knights
33:56 - Imperial Knights
35:19 - Adeptus Custodes
38:34 - Sisters of Silence
40:22 - Officio Assasinorum
46:10 - Inquisition
Thank you ^_^
Legends like you are the backbone of our failing society
He didnt include the Imperial Navy :(
@@fernandoramirez1605 and no Titan leagion :(
You are a freaking god dude
"Normal people feel this weird, uncomfortable nature when around them."
_Am I a Sister of Silence?_
All nulls are generally repulsive to anyone with a soul
Sisters of silence and gingers have it bad... because of the no soul thing
@@jessISaRicePrincess actually beings with very little souls don't get affected by warp stuff but nulls like the sisters of silence have negative soul like normal people have 1 they have -1.
@@here1359 is that lore? Because i read that nulls have no or little connection to the warp, that's different to the negative soul that you're talking about
@@jessISaRicePrincess While I'm a bit unclear on the exact definitions, there are indeed humans with a negative pshycic aura. These are the individuals that are turned into culexus assassins when discovered. And they are bone chillingly terrifying.
A culexus's helmet is a weapon, as they use it to focus their negative null aura onto their target (typically a rouge psyker), which basically burns out the targets mind and soul, leaving only the body behind as a charred husk.
But the helmet is also there to contain their null aura, since it has been trained and honed to such a degree that to a normal person, being in the same room as a culexus without it's helmet is pure agony that will make you go insane or beg for death if you stay in the room for to long.
When deployed on missions, they have a handler from the assassin temple accompany them to make sure they don't come into contact with people unneccessarily.
A culexus is also great at countering demons and chaos worshippers, and also the eldar (who possibly fear them even more than Slaneesh).
I lost it at "Imagine Satan, but imagine three other Satans" lol
Hear hear, 69 has been achieved! Summon the Satans
Could have added: "one is angry, one is sick, one is tricky and one is horny"
@@djoucla9734 all of them Bitches.
And then there's that fifth Satan, but he's too edgy for he's own good so no one really pays attention to him and he's not represented on the tabletop due to legal issues.
-Cue raging from the Malal/Malice diehards of the 40k community.-
We have sexy satan, edgy satan, troll satan, Neckbeard satan (don't forget the various alien Satans aswell)
I can’t get over how he keeps fucking up Gulliemans name but always follows it up with a perfect pronunciation of the Khans name
Don't lie to me Bricky, everyone knows the 40k actually stands for how much money you'll have to spend to get into and maintain the hobby
Yeah. goddang minis
I was given the black armor characters about ten or so with a few blue alien guys when I was a kid. I’m modeling my own board game mix with other mini figures like toy soldiers into a chess/conmand and conquer combo style game. Looked up to buy bull war hammer characters to gain ideas from and had no clue it’d cost thousands to afford to do so.
LMAO
"Even in debt I still serve."
So.......you're saying it's a commercial product?
"Freedom of speech" rhymes with "Knowledge of Tzeentch." Consciousness is heresy.
Proceed to wipe out brains to stop being conscious
@@aspid164 Ain't no Mind Cleanser in the galaxy potent enough. Best use a Bolter to get the job done.
@@berniebroig8745 I got one loaded and ready
@@phelpsbutnotmichal9360 Welp, I'm not better than any of you.
*BLAM*
@Bageleater64 No need to bring out the heavy bolter, brother.
The moment this guy said that the main bad guy is “The Imperium of Man”, I have already contact the local inquisition service line. It’s time for cleansing.
The imperium of man is evil though
They're the lesser evil, I'll give them that. That's why I'm an Imperial loyalist.
Inquisitorial Hotline, how can we Purge you?
@@brothercaptainaurelian1386 there appears to be a man who's speaking heresy in are area and is making us loyal citizens rather uncomfortable when the fastest u can get here to burn the heretic alive?
@@emmanuelwalton4557 On my way (loads Flamer with Purging intend)
Could you futher elaborate on the Amount of fire needed?
i like that you explain everything briefly but doesnt miss main points. perfect for someone to get into wh.
"If we throw enough men at them, they might drown in our blood."
The phrase for the Imperial Guard 😁
you'll make a good commisar
so... a slow day in the imperial guard
-Zapp Brannigan
@@georgetitsworth8919 thank you. now I want to create an imperial guard army with him at the head
my favorite small thing in warhammer 40k is the fan-made space marine chapter just called "Rational Marines" where they are so focused on simply being tactically effective that they were deemed heretical by multiple other chapters
Ah, the greatest sin of all: Common Sense
I prefer the Angry Marines myself. FUCK OFF!
Those guys are more or less canon, they’re called the Raptors
🤩 rationality as a sin!
And then there's their opposite chapter, the angry marines
My favorite summing up of 40k:
Mandaloregaming: "Imagine Hulk Hogan is in a cathedral, and he's fighting the devil. Hogan is wearing about 30 trucks worth of metal. Also the cathedral is the size of Rhode Island... and in space."
I’m in
Good for you, sucks ass to me.
and he’s at least twice as disrespectful, especially to other races
RI shoutout lol
Wow , that in no way describes WH40K. Even in the slightest. WTF are you reading?
I'm a bit late getting into the Warhammer 40k Lore and this 3 year old video of your, gave me some sort of a footing in the massive lore WH40K has. Thank you :)
Inquisitors: unlike my authority, my patience is limited
One of the things you're forced to deal with as an inquisitor is other inquisitors. Sometimes they think you're over the line, and they have all the same authority as you when they want to slap you down.
Eisenhorn !! I’m reading it right now and it’s amazing, first time reading warhammer stuff and i’m loving it
Dat Eisenhorn burn tho.
A note: the eversor don't freeze their agents for giggles. They freeze them because once the conditioning is done there is nothing anyone can do to stop them murdering their former friends on the spot.
Also, if you somehow kill one they violently explode, killing you and everyone else in the room. Some of the chems they're injected with turns them into a living bomb that will trigger when their heart stops beating.
What happens when the Eversors complete their mission, how do they get them ready for their next mission?
@@quinnloneheart9906 Probably with some chip implanted inside them.
@@quinnloneheart9906 they get their orders via hypnosis. Orders being mostly "kill that, don't kill that"
@@quinnloneheart9906 think of them less as a soldier and more of a living artillery shell.
The thing that makes Adeptus Mechanicus my favorite faction, is that in some sense it is sensible.
They dont just "pray" to machines to make them work, they have rituals honed over thousands of years.
Imagine dropping a diesel truck into Roman times. Eventually, given enough experimentation, they would figure out that turning the ignition key, awakes the machine. And they would figure out that pushing the pedals, makes it go forward.
When the fuel runs out, if we pretend they HAD some diesel available (or perhaps the engine can run on alcohol), eventually they would figure out that "feeding" the machine this liquid, makes it continue to live.
This is what the Adeptus Mechanicus does with the ancient tech they do NOT have engineering blueprints or instruction manuals for.
They themselves think its a religious ritual, but in fact it is certain key steps in those rituals that enable the machines to work.
For example, in the analogy above, the ancient Romans might develop religious ceremonies where they chant and light thousands of candles around the truck, bathe it in the blood of virgins, and at the crecendo of the ritual, they pour the fuel (diesel or alcohol) into the fuel tank, turn the ignition, and the beast awakens.
So 90% of their religious ritual, doesnt do anything, but because they've done it the same way for decades, they THINK all steps are required.
So they simply continue to do all steps.
And the insane thing is, we "may" have a similar situation in real life when / if we ever acquire alien artifacts.
We wont know HOW they exactly work, or WHY they work, but with enough experimentation, a sequence of steps makes it work.
And to avoid fucking up, we keep doing each step in the sequence, without knowing which one is the critical one.
This is the smartest explanation to the shenanigans of those toaster fuckers
This is the best headcanon if you ask me. Screw "machine spirits" they shouldn't be a real thing.
Tru tru
I mean if you ever talk to anyone who works/ed in a lab there are usually weird rituals. Heard stories of scientist leaving little offering of snacks to tools or machines or having a very specific routine to make sure something works. Whether they really believe in it fully who knows but the rituals exist already
@@Haispawner There is a good chance that "machine spirits" are just poorly understood A.I., at least in the most advanced machines like titans, knights, and tanks
I watch this when I am drunk, when I am sad, when I am happy. When people ask me what my comfort movie is, this is what I point to.
Grey knights: just show up
Guardsmen: "I'm in danger"
Sisters of battle: *Lol*
Space Wolf: Mmm.
These Grey Knights are a myth, where ever did you hear something silly like that?
Now if you'll all follow me out back to the conveniently dug trench that looks in no way like a mass grave, that'd be just peachy.
Other guardsman : My time has come
Honestly, "I'm in danger" is the ground state of everyone living in the 40K universe, at all times.
"that sounds like super heresy!"
"well yeah, but they make all your guns... soooooooooo...."
They kinda believe the Emperor is the embodyment of Omniscia so it's not total heresy
@@zeralmahib2549 yeah but that is basically the same as the clash between orthodoxy and catholicism in the sense that Catholics believed christ was a part of or the embodiment of god or whatever, while orthodox believed he was just the human son of god or whatever (not too big on religion), and that ended with two roman empires.
@@zeralmahib2549, Heresy is Heresy, but there is acceptable Heresy.......apparently XD
There is no innocence, only to reason with guilt
- *some random inquisitor dude*
@@notoffensivenpc8400 Yeah, but it's still Christianity you know, so as long as there are pagans and shit, they put their differences aside and fight united.
@@lkvideos7181 actually the Catholics ignored Constantinople during its final days until the byzantinians agreed to admit Catholicism was superior and after the Pope sent troops, it was too late. Also we can and have written tomes on what cunts the Catholics were to the protestants and how kings would order for the execution of believers in different sects of christianity. The only reason why the gap between orthodoxy and Catholicism is just now being filled is because people just care way less about religion and the churches aren't gaining political power from the gap like they used to. The main religion of the imperium (forgot the name) doesn't need and doesn't want a gap though since the tech freaks are way too valuable to have a religious conflict with, at least on a large scale, and the main religion already is too widely spread, where as the tech freaks are confined to one small red planet, so there is no risk in letting them run rampant.
non warhammer fan, watched astartes, then this got recommended to me. it's a deep dive, folks
Yooo same
Me right now.
However, I did buy the first Eisenhorn book, so I guess you could say this is getting pretty serious /s.
But of course
Pseudo sanct bruh this makes starcraft lore look like a 1 min advertisement
You get to luetin09 yet?
I am currently playing 40k: Space Marine 2 and I really love the lore and characters. This universe felt very daunting to get into, but I want to thank you for making this video fun and informative! Your video is very accessible and I won't hesitate to recommend it to others like me!
"Everyone is a villain!"
... *cries in Salamander*
Except them
Also the Lamenters, the poor guys
what about the imperial fists
@@imperialfist2527 What about them?
Boop the snoot of the barking toad
"They Drop Churches...onto the Battlefield..." the sheer insanity of that sentence!
Adeptus Sororitas for ya.
@@tenacityxl religious extremism taken to new glorious heights. Have to get the holy word to the heretics somehow!
@Soloman Grundy It's raining hymns hallelujah. So that is the last thing you hear before a church crushes the life out of you and your comrades!
@Soloman Grundy well we both know it's raining more than just Hymns in 40k. (A hymn is a church song)
If that doesn't convert you i don't know what will
For everyone wondering, the outro music is called "Children of the Omnissiah", it's a part of Warhammer 40000: Mechanicus' OST as well as "Dance of the Cryptek". Go check that OST out, it slaps so hard that my laptop gained its own Machine Spirit
Bought the game for the music (and because it only costed me 10 bucks) and totally loved it!
you mean it appeased your laptop's Machine Spirit
@@djoucla9734 yeah, so it made itself known for the first time :D
@@flawlesstheory5111 If it took music to awaken your laptops machine spirit then you have not been praying hard enough or applying scented oils.
@@ruvinluciano4369 I was too busy studying so I can serve the Omnissiah in the future
Three young people find a magic lamp. A genie comes out of it and promises to take them to their favorite universe.
Girl with a Harry Potter bag: "I'm gonna study at Hogwarts!!"
Guy in a Star Trek T-shirt: "I'm finally gonna see the Enterprise!!"
Guy with an aquila pendant: *"DO NOT!!!"*
Bricky: "Salamanders have heart warming Lore."
Me: Yep thats a Heavy Flamer
haha funny meme
There lore is as warm as there Flamers
AWW just likr pyro😀
Or maybe its the warmth of burning elf kids
It was also heart warming when Vulkan burned those Eldar children to death
Women in 41st millennium will be like: If you're not 7ft tall, don't even bother.
Warhammer tinder, Khorne’s profile “blood god, embodiment of hate and rage. I Enjoy walks on the skull fields. Height: Immeasurable (6’8)”
7ft? That’s laughable, real men are 9ft or higher and can wrestle an ork with all of their limbs tied behind their back!
7 feet? What is this, an Adeptus Manlet? If you are not more than 8 feet tall don't even bother. The Chad Primaris gets all the Space Karens.
You mean don’t even brother... Babum chhhhhh
Whoops, looks like I accidentally joined a cult and started worshipping the ruinous powers.
Haha, I'm such a Libra.
7:20
"He created 20"
* Inquisitor looks at Bricky *
"He created 18"
*bolter holstered*
Social credit deducted
behaviour corrected
He didn't explain that
Is there 20 or 18?
@@Ultraempoleon To my understanding, there are 20, but 2 of them committed such abhorrent and heinous acts that they were effectively wiped from existence and memory.
Note: I am not an expert.
Adeptus mechanicus’ god just creates images of todd howard in my mind “it just works”
"Everyone's a villain in 40K"
Cypher: "That's a matter of perspective."
Eren Jaeger approve
Trazyn: **laughs while stealing everyone's shit**
Fun Fact: Lasguns actually do jam. Imperial Guardsmen are actually taught to mutter a prayer called "The Litany of Unjamming" to the Omnissiah if their lasgun fails them in battle.
Does it work? (the prayer)
Yes
What is the prayer so I can fix my toaster
but isnt that hericy?
@@collinlogan4170 no since TECHNICALLY the ohmnissia is the emperor but also they make your guns so not heresy
EDIT: If you're here to learn about the weird ball in "Astartes Part 5" man I don't know shit that's beyond my INT 1 brain
While it isn't perfect (a few mic pops, and still working on pacing) this is the video I've been going crazy over for the past month. Definitely took a while, but I hope it was informative or at least entertaining.
If you want to support me and my future content, you can check out my patreon or merch store in the description! Or just hop by a stream if you want to chat. Thanks so much for watching
@bricky Hey man been a big fan for years now, thank you for making great content.
Glad to see you played hollow knight again brick.
Well worth the wait
Will Death Korps get a seperate vid, plz? :DDDDDDD
still, loving the work, The Raven Guard Salute you
Hey Bricky, I didn't personally have an interest in the 40k Universe, but this video was still tremendously engaging. Keep up the good work bud.
I'm just getting into 40k since I recently found a dusty old Space Crusade game and Combat Cards from when I was young. I'd like to say thanks for making this guide. It's structured and delivered perfectly for me. I had no idea just how much lore there is. And so far, I'm finding it amazing. Great work!
"Rotting carcass of a man"
You Sir, should report to your local iquisitory agency right away.
Heresy!
He’s just not a corpse worshiping fool! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! BURN MAIME KILL! FOR KHORNE!
OI YA GITZ! THAZ A FUNNY WAY O SAYIN MORK IS BEST!
@@jace_straith OI YA GIT, YOOZ GON SCROOWY! IT’Z GORK DATZ BEZT
ALL IS DUST
The Inquisition , Batman but he executes every third person he looks at and there's like a million of him.
More Konrad Kurze is the Batman, but he's a fucking psychopath.
@@ObsidiaBlack1 He's like the Comedy Central Batman who shoots people in the face
@@spethmanjones2997 I thought that was the 50's era Batman..
For those who dont understand the "he created 20 primarchs, no 18." joke, well there were 2 extra primarchs but the Big E straight deleted them from existence
What is the "Big E"?
@@liamcowling9906 The God Emperor of Mankind
@@liamcowling9906 The Emperor
@@liamcowling9906 HERETIC
I'm just messing he's the emperor
There where 22 Primarchs. Alpharious was a twin and the prototyope "angel" went batshit. Then there where the deleted Primarchs.
I don’t know anything about WH40K but this Dude got me so hyped up that I want to know everything about it now. 😂
Like watching him getting all hyped up about the topics made my day.
Probably one of the best Videos I‘ve ever seen
As a heavy machinery mechanic, I frequently reference appealing to the machine spirits... and of course no one gets it
@@jocosesonata Ironically enough... I and some others were laid off 2 weeks ago. Heretics indeed.
What do you mean by "of course"? The difference between heresy and treachery is ignorance!
@@rylandvance5304 herecticsssss
As an I.T. tech I too worship and pray to the same machine spirits.
Not just machinery and tech jobs, all I have to fix is the Hoover and I pray for the omnissiahs guidance
Bricky: *doesn't mention the death korps of Krieg *
*Sad gasmask noises*
*angry gas mask noises and battalions storming in his direction*
Thats because all you do is stay in trenches and breath toxic fumes as chaos marines crush your skulls into the 21st millenium, your gas masked odd balls are basically just mechanicus wannabes lol
for legal reasons, that was a joke
@@somebodysomewhere5571 mah man, call me an Admech wannabe one more time, you’re getting the shovel
@@johngun4377 my bayonet's fixed, and my lasgun's loaded.
check engine light comes on,
Starts chanting in gothic.
Light turns off.
Same energy as begging and pleading for your car with a dodgy alternator and starter to please crank over so you can drive it to the garage if you can afford it, home if you can't.
Slowly pulls out photo to call Inqustion
@@eduardojara6955 *phone?
@@THExRISER yes thank you
@@THExRISER *vox?
As someone who knows absolutely nothing about Warhammer, I didn't even know there's a difference between Fantasy Warhammer and Warhammer 40k, HOLY SHIT this wasn't what I expected
Lol yep. Warhammer Fantasy is just pure Fantasy. Orcs, Goblins, and true Medieval style Humans and LOTR style Elves.
Warhammer 40k is a completely different Universe that has nothing to do with Warhammer Fantasy at all, and takes place in the year 40,000 A.D.
Lots of really wacky Techno-Religious Zealotry, Guttertrash Cockney Orks, and super sexy but absolutely terrifying alien Elves.
Halo: Ok so imagine this parasitic race that is undying and constantly threatens to eradicate all organisms in the universe.
40K: Ok imagine that but THERE'S AT LEAST FIVE OF THEM AND THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT FACTIONS
and they are very very hard to kill
@@crawlingboy And they bred in thin air.
At least the orks are having fun.
Sorry, but 40K take place in a single galaxy...
The Flood is said to have brought down multiple ones...
@@陳潔明-w6y Its implied that the Tyranids have taken down a load too
"where do I *start* "
- 40k theories
- luetin09
- emperor with text to speech device
- *bricky*
toss Arch warhammer if you have home chores to do and you want to hear a Norwegian Butters saying something about the 'stretch of imagination' over 99 times per video.
Also PlayOn tabletop has the best battle reports of you like the game itself
Don't forget to get you some Baldermort up in that mix brother.
@@Rezec75 arch warhammer is wrong about most of the things he says and is also pretty alt right so maybe not
@@margar9021 Ok, libtard.
The guy makes consistently well researched and entertaining videos, but because you don't agree with him on some issues you basically label him a nazi and discount the quality of his content.
I assume you do have a brain, have you tried using it?
Chaos space marine: "FOOLISH COMMISSAR! WE HAVE KILLED THOUSANDS OF GUARDSMEN AND YOU ONLY KILLED 4 OF US"
commissar: .......
commissar: "SEND IN THE SECOND WAVE"
"3rd through 56th wave, standby for deployment!"
"Send the METAL BAWKSES"
*happy gaz masks*
Guardsman:Wait! We've killed 4 CHAOS ASTARTES?!?Holy shit that's an amazing kill death ratio!
@@Aniyah-CHG Veteran Guardsman : That's a new record for this war...... we can archive a world record in 2 more wave if needed......
Loved the space marine game and buddy of mine from work told me to check out y’all’s podcast. I’m loving it so far and I can’t stop listening and learning about it now. I always wanted to get into it but didn’t know where to start.
23:22 the more I learn about programming, the more I understand why the mechanicus belive in a sentient being that makes machines work at their whim, and to who you have to pray and make sacrifices
Lmao
Same. I might just give up on atheism to pray to the Machine Spirit.
I think Java converted me, full stop
Oh that gave me a good laugh.
@@elevationsickness8462 I was writing a pretty simple configuration class while watching this video... and it just won't show up in the final compile No matter What I Tried. I vaguely heard this guy talking about machine gods, so I stopped working on the code, heard the whole section about the said god, then went back to the work and compiled again. And the result showed up perfectly fine. And I went... okay, guess I worship this God now.
“Plating a Swiss Army knife with gold does not make it more effective”
-Rogal Dorn
Of course it does, only because The Emperor deems it so.
And or you're an ork.
Custodes: "I beg to differ ;)"
Red knives stab betta!
@@bobbodadroid4053 red knives stab faster, blue knives are more likely to knock a artery
"F*cking damn it rogal"
-The god emperor of mankind
"Masters of stealth and sabotage"
Yeah, because when I see a 15 foot tall guy wearing an entire excavator, the first thing I think is stealth.
you're telling me that you would not just turn away and pretend you didn't see anything
So that guys are like me
“Stealth is optional for this mission”
Get the Minigun : “optional doesn’t mean necessary”
You need to be told about Creed, that madlad can make a titan stealth, a fucking cathedral with a 150 ft robot below disappear.
@@pablocristobalhernandez9010 A tactical genius indeed
That should make them even scarier, that something that big can be that sneaky
Enjoyed these video, and your style of explaining these factions. Saw you on play on, and also enjoyed your play style. I was able to understand all these armies and I have an idea who I want to play the game with.
“Everyone is the bad guy” *Sad Salamanders noises*
Sad Lamenter noises
*sad stomp stomp*
Sad kriegsmen gasmask noises.. He only desires to give his life so others may live.
Come to think of it most of the guardsman are good folk defending their homes.
Sad necron noises
I mean, the salamanders are quite fond of burning xenos children
"They drop churches into battle!"
I'm pretty sure that somewhere in the Warp, Lorgar is laughing his ass off.
I don't remember the book's name, but there is a quote for when some Wordbearers hear the phrase "The GOD Emperor" from an inquisitor, and just absolutely lose their sh*t rofling in front of her(?) because... it means they won. As far as they were concerned, the Wordbearers goal of divining the Emperor succeeded
@@bogdangabrielonete3467 the emperor said himself, he never wanted to be seen as a god by his people. Which sucks that that is what is currently happening. I hope something happens where they respect him but don't reveer him as a god. Because I love how (somewhat) humble he is. Feel super bad for the guy.
@@mojn4249 No the emperor never wanted to be an idol. The post mortem forced him into that role after the Horus heresy.
Why do I imagine it as TFS' vegetas' maniacal laugh?
@@mojn4249 After thousands and thousands of humans worshipping him, it's safe to say he's a God now.
Bricky forgot to mention that Eversors are also living bombs. When an Eversor assassin sustains too much damage, they get pumped with an additional cocktail of drugs that turns all their tissue into an explosive compound.
Truly a Warhammer moment lmao
That’s actually pretty dope
Bricky still thankful you made this video it was my first introduction to Warhammer and it made me addicted to the lore as a result 4 years strong!
“Drops churches from low orbit atmospheres” Holy how
Nothing is impossible if you believe hard enough
Want proof? Look about basically anything involving Orcs in this universe
@@DMDarren correct me if im wrong but basically the dimension people use to teleport is made by the ideas and imagination of people, so if a large group of people believe hard enough, basically becomes real
@@danielruiz8259 Yep. Old Ones just made it so that Orks (Krorks too, if you wanna be historical) have an easier time about it.
@@danielruiz8259 The only known humans who have faith strong enough to manifest literal miracles are the sisters of battle.
Their faith is different to grey knights or custodies, as custodies are literally designed and gene coded to be 100% loyal to the emperor and no1 else, and grey knights condition themselves so that they see themselves as living manifestations of the emperor's divine will.
The Sisters however, see themselves as willing human servants of the god of humanity. And their faith is so strong it actually enables the emperor to influence the material world.
This is why the sisters army on the tabletop has an actual mechanic that is the manifestation of miracles (called "miracle dice"), and is essentially things like avoiding killing blows that should have hit, critically injuring their opponents with spooky ease, and other similar things.
In the official trailer where you see sisters, primaris marines and necrons, you see a perfect example of a sister using prayer to heal a lethal injury caused by a necron weapon.
While the sisters are possible for chaos to corrupt, they take a LOT of time and effort before they finally break.
Grey Knights use shitload of specific anti-demon measures where even their names are crafted to have an arcane anti-demon effect, and the purest among them (the purifyers) have an aura around them that literally burns demons to ash slowly if then simply stand to close to the purifyer.
The custodies are so unbreakably loyal by design that a demon once remarked that even with constant efforts, the heat death of the universe would have time to happen before a custodian could ever become corrupted.
*Sister of Battle:* So do you not believe in the Emperor?
*Tech Priest:* We believe he was built, and he was a very well programmed man, but he wasn't our messiah.
*Sister of Battle:* Interessing... *cocks bolter*
Tech Preist: you know if you want more Bolters like that I’m the only one who can make them.
*Sister of Battle:* ~visable ambivalence~
Tau scout: can’t we just fight for the greater good?
Maxence Ho Deathwatch standing behind the Tau hippie: “Loads Bolter with xeno exterminating intent”
@@Zoopadoopa23 Commander Farsight: *thrust Dawnblade through Deathwatch as if the deathwatch just air itself*
Bricky: "A normal Imperial guard battle start's off with artillery."
Me playing IG in Ultimate Apocalypse: You're God damn right.
*Laughs in Hydra tanks and Earthshaker platforms*
@@webbsies shatter thier skies
You forget deploying super heavy tanks behind the enemy line and having your unit set on attack stance and charge in
Pfft, mounted cavalry is where its at.
My friend: If I lived I would be a space marine.
Me: I would probably be dead.
8:44
Custodes: *opens fridge*
Emperor: Kill me
Custodes: later
What was noise?
Nice TF2 reference, ngl
@@jjef8706 the sound of your god you filthy one heart
@@emiliianoportillo1311 doctor blew other one up :(
This emperor sounds like a chill dude, wonder what would happen if you hooked him up to a text-to-speech machine?
"kill me I'm in constant agony"- emperor
"I need to go to the bathroom" but it's repeated 400 thousand times.
"I want to scratch my nose so bad"
- The Man Emperor of Mankind -
"Where is my sentient newspaper?"
-Big E, probably
“Bro kill me I’ll just come back”-Big E
0:00 Introduction
0:26 Summary
0:47 Exposition
2:39 The Universe
6:10 The Imperium and the Horus Heresy
11:30 Astra Militarum / Imperial Guard
16:12 Adeptus Astartes / Space Marines
21:51 The Adeptus Mechanicus
26:13 The Adepta Sororitas / Sisters of Battle
30:10 The Grey Knights
33:53 Imperial Knights
35:15 Adeptus Custodes
38:34 Sisters of Silence
40:19 Officio Assasinorum
41:30 Vindicare Temple
42:21 Caliidus Temple
43:11 Eversore Temple
44:13 Culexus Temple
46:06 The Inquisition
48:50 Exterminatus
51:04 Outro
Thanks.
Thank you
Btw what is the sound clip “On the subject of Hersey.” from for the inquisition
Edit. This as been bothering me for an extremely long time
Wonderful work mate.
You forgot 32:02
This video is what got me into Warhammer. One year later, just got off of Darktide, ready to receive my space marines for Christmas.
"Imagine a private army of the church."
Me being catholic: "Oh no."
All my church, the lds church, has to do is arm their missionaries and they'd have a big boi army. Drop temples from orbit, turn everywhere into Utah.
@Lucius Sulla DEUS VULT!
no one expects the Spanish Inquisition
@Lucius Sulla they were get rich quick schemes, they were offensive, not defensive
Yeah the bizantines were not under attack by anybody and there was no culture that took half of what was once the "offensive" culture.
I have casually watched this video like 8 times during the quarantine while WFH. You're great at explaining otherwise nightmarishly complicated subjects in a funny / entertaining way. You should really do more videos like this man. Subbed.
You should watch Majorkill he’s great too
I've done that with a video called "why heroquest is so great"
"GUNNER, DO YOU SEE THAT BUNKER?"
"Yes, sir"
"I don't want to"
"Yes sir"
Edit:holy fucking shit why did this get so many likes,keep it up,can we get 0 dislikes and 1.5 likes?
Make sure the tech priest has synced the machine’s spirit first.
"Engineseer, that bunker offends the Omnissiah."
"It will not do so for long commander."
sounds like you need a deathstrike missile
/turn 180°
*Throws flashbang*
I have to be honest, this being my first introduction to Warhammer lore, I am astounded. The world seems so vast and involved, endless chaos and war and a plethora awesome characters, this is exactly what I was looking for
There are almost 400 (if not more) books set in the Warhammer 40K universe. So as an introduction read “The Road to War”.
Horus heresy is the most extensively covered event. Having around 50 books dedicated to it. Plus siege of terra books, as well as the primearch novels, you have around 70-80 books covering a single 9 year event from dozens of perspectives. Funny thing is that Horus heresy series has lasted longer then the Horus heresy itself. Series has been going on for 12 years and Horus heresy lasted 9 years.
Other then that, I suggest you read the eisenhorn trilogy. The Gaunts Ghosts series is also DOPE! Also if you want some traitor perspective, I don’t think you’ll find anything better then the Night Lords omnibus. If you want something more light hearted try the ciaphas Cain books.
If you want something more recent… well, no better place to start then the dark imperium novels. It has everything you would want in a 40k novel and more. (Way more)
Some personal suggestions: Emperor’s gift, fear to tread, devastation of Baal, storm of iron, Chadian blood, dead men walking… (the first 3 are one of my favorites.)
You’ll probably not gonna read the whole Horus heresy. That’s a multi year journey, so here are some of the best novels from Horus heresy: Horus rising (A MUST READ), galaxy in flames, Fulgrim(you get both istvaan 3 atrocity and Istvaan 5 dropsite massacre. As far as I know no other book covers as much regarding istvaan as this. And for those 2 events alone it’s worth it.), legion, Prospero burns, Know no fear and betrayer as well as the Unremembered empire, the master of menkind, Garro, Wolfsbane…
I haven’t gotten to siege of terra, or rather I haven’t started. I’m waiting it to finish and I’ll see which books I’ll buy.
Here’s brief overview of the whole 40k universe, covering the most notable events in a sarcastic tone: (note, if something makes no sense… it’s probably sarcasm.)
Bunch of millions years ago a race of frog people (now known as the old ones.) became super technologically advanced… they got bored, as beings that could do pretty much anything probably would and after discovering the warp (which is like a copy of the universe pasted at random time intervals with seemingly random stuff according to wills of all living and dead beings), they basically turned themselves into super space wizards and started planting life around the universe.
Around this time, a cancer ridden race now known as the necrons colonized a small part of the galaxy and came in contact with the frog people! They had cancer because of their radiation blasted world and couldn’t live very long so they asked the frog people to share their secret to immortal. The frog people were like: “ha, you see… you just need to get gud”
The cancer ridden race didn’t like that and went to war with the superpowerful super mega super space wizard superbeings. They lost… unsurprisingly. Then they got depressed and started looking for ways to get revenge, in their search they found old ass star eating gods. They worshiped them and made them robot bodies. The star gods promised the cancer ridden race immortality and delivered on that promise by sucking their souls dry and turning them into robots! Afterwards they went to war with the frog people and won(after allegedly several million years of fighting)… but then the star gods went to war with each other and devoured each other, allowing the now soulless undead robot race to imprison the star gods by breaking them into pieces and using them as batteries.
The wannabe elves who were made by the frog people to fight for them, stole the old ones technology and continued the war with the soulless robot people. The robot people couldn’t just curb stomp this wannabe elves, because they had lost lots of strength with their battle against the frog people and battle against their gods, so the robot people went:”fuck this! If we fight this wannabes, we’ll waste unnecessary resources and may lose”. So, they go into a long ass slumber… but accidentally set their alarms at 60 million years instead of 6k years.
Forward 60 million years, on earth couple of millennia before Jesus bullshit; bunch of knock-off psykers bash their cocks with rocks and conjoin to become: THE BIG DICK E HIMSELF! THE ALL GREAT EMPEROR OF MANKIND, BELOVED BY ALL!
Ahem*
He can see the future, smash planets, battle star eating gods and shit… he’s like super duper mega space wizard.
Anyway, after like 1000 years or so, he finally went: “let’s see what’s going on in the warp… WTF? What’s this? What’s that? Wtf are those?” After seeing the corruption in the warp he was like: “plans A-O for humanities domination of the galaxy are all failures! Time for plan P.”
So He waited 30k+ years to start working on his plan. durning this time humanity became a galaxy wide empire becoming one of the most powerful empire ever to live in the galaxy… they then created skynet and basically fell back into the medieval ages but with super advanced tech. After they were done getting their ass kicked by robots, they lost the ability to travel faster then light, because the elves had so much hardcore sex/bdsm/balltorture that it created a new chaos god. Slaanesh(yes… that’s cannon. This really happened). The birth of this (dude? girl? Femboy… let’s go with that.) created warp storms that disallowed warp travel because of galaxy wide warp storms…(warm storms are like storms, in hell.). and warp was what humans used to travel faster then light… but the usual method of traveling through space hell, no longer worked because of the storms wracking the space hell. Hence many world were isolated from the greater human empire, descending into utter anarchy.
To Make things worse daemons started to crawl out of people’s holes and eat their holes. Shit was wild…
Around this time emperor woke up from his 30k year nap and realized his set his alarm 29k years to late and went: “fuuuuuck… welp I better try to salvage this.”
So he conquered earth from barbarians and jacked off into a tube. He then used some wizard god jizz he stole from the chaos gods (don’t ask how) and mixed it with his jizz to make 20
P - BIG
R - DICK
I - SUPERBEING
M - WITH
E - DADDY
A - AND
R - MOMMY
C - ISSUES
‘S
Soon after, their mommy went a bit nuts and threw the baby primes into a warp portal, causing them to get shat out on to shit planets! (One of them even had to crawl out of several kilometers of magma… like, imagine being born a few weeks ago, your mom throwing you into a portal made by 4 satans and having to literally crawl (as a newborn) from a core of planet to its surface through molten metal and rock just to be hunted by the people of the said planet.)
Most of them got abused as children so most of them were buttshit crazy. (I don’t think you can blame some of them…)
After finding them all, his favorite son “Horus” drank some chaos jizz and he was like: “I wanna be the emperor!!!”
So he tried to kill his father… but failed and got his soul destroyed with a kamaaaaaa hamaaaaaa haaaaaaa
Oh, and his nerd son with red skin and blue balls took a shit in his birthday cake for humanity that would have free it from having to go through literal space hell just to travel faster then light and instead, gave daemons a direct door from their living rooms to terra.
The heresy ends with emperor crippled and sat upon a throne that keeps that door shut. As well as him shining his cocklight to guide imperial ships through spacehell. A few centuries later all the primearchs vanish cause they got bored.
Fastforward 10k years later, because nothing really interesting happens(other then the Nyds) because GW forgot to cover it… humanity is being buttfucked by orks, Tyranids, daemons, eldar, necrons and everything else that can get a hit in. (Including even the tau.)
To make things worse, knock off Horus known as Abbadon fails 12 crusades and on the 13th he accidentally tears the galaxy in 2 with a huge ass warp rift, which disallows emperor’s cocklight to work on one side of the imperium.
With the great rift’s opening, daemons start popping out and going nuts on thousands of worlds.
BUT WORRY NOT!!! A big dick son of the emperor “Guilliman” woke up from his 10k year old nap. He was like “this galaxy needs some ass kicking”, so he proceeded to fuck up every daemon shit that got the misfortune to meet him. He eventually arrived on terra and kicked even more daemon ass and likely saved the whole planet form a huge ass khorn army.
He talked to his father and got a bit frisky, so he yelled real loud to every imperial world to rally up on terra and join him on a huge ass crusade! He proceeded to save thousands of worlds with a huge ass fleet and kicked uncounted daemon ass… in the middle of his crusade he got killed by one of his traitor brothers and came back to life after being possessed by the emperor, who proceeded to burn one of the chaos gods garden.
Edit:
After some back and forth war between chaos and the imperium, Vashtorr an uppety, Arogant greater daemon that no chaos god wants, decides that he has been bullied enough after being told to sort it out by knock off Horus… so he starts looking for a weapon.
Weapon, is hidden somewhere in the webway… and to unlock the weapon one needs another weapon that is also a key for the said weapon, which he plans to use to somehow grant himself godhood.
Shit goes down and the entire dark angels legion ends up fighting with him and traitor forces. Dark angels get massacred and it’s made worse when Angron shows up. Then Dante shows up to fight Angron and nearly gets killed, but worry not Fucking Lion shows up just in time and banishes Angron.
Oh and vashtorr gets the key because he was no where near where the fighting was… dark Angels lost HAAAARD here!
Currently that’s where we stand.
@@62sy damnnnn. Yo this made my night! What a perfect summary, but essentially you’re right 😆
Mark
@@62sy i think reading all those books would take a full decade so I'm looking for a shorter way
Quotes every Beginner needs to know:
1. *FOR THE EMPEROR* / *IN THE EMPERORS NAME* / *THE EMPEROR PROTECTS*
2. *BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE*
3. *For the Greater Good*
4. *CADIA BROKE BEFORE THE GUARD DID*
5. *XENOSCUM*
And why are the T'au so far up the Evil Guy list? Is it the gun lines? Its the gun lines isnt it? Tripple Riptides? Is that it?
WWWWAAAAAAGHHHHHHH
Milk for the Khorn flakes
*NONE WHO LIVE CAN SURVIVE THE FLAME*
I think its the fact that their greater good is just a way of enslaving other races by promising happiness and equality while in reality they are pushed into a cast system where they are seen as trash not worthy of even existing near the Tau themselves.
Blessed is the mind to small for doubt
lol that chaos god explanation. "imagine satan... and like 3 other satans..."
"Imagine there is a God of Hope, and he is Evil." That's the short version of Chaos to me.
@@Sorain1 "Imagine a God of Honour, and he is evil" That would be Khorne xD
And "Imagine a God of Happiness, and he is evil" That would be Slaanesh
And "Imagine a God of Tolerance & Friendship, and he is evil" That would be Nurgle
And imagine the God of Absolute Freedom, and he is evil" That would be Malice/Malal
@@Azoth86730 Malai doesn't exist!
@@Azoth86730 who?
35:35 I feel you, brother. I've been playing since '89 when my brother's classmate showed us Rogue Trader. Mistakes were made when I picked up my 1st tactical squad that same weekend. 35 years later, I have 8 armies ready to go when I hear someone is interested. I give them 1st pick from my collection with the stipulation that they must think they look cool, and we go from there.
3:03 Text: "For more than a hundred centuries." Bricky: "For more than a hundred years." ......i mean he aint wrong
Went here just to look for someone else noticing xD
Ya such a great start lol, factual inaccuracy right out of the gate.
@@noirto2 I mean it is factually correct, a time span of let me just guess 10500 years for example is longer than 100 centuries and longer than 100 years, the 100 centuries is just closer and a better descriptive than the 100 years
@@noirto2 Imagine taking it that seriously
@@jaeger1123 It's still a massive fail man, he is straight up holding and reading from a sheet and still got it wrong.
"His favorite son, Horus"
Don't you dare disrespect the Emperor's fabulous golden Hawk Boy
*sob* come back golden hawk boi
@@bobsomething4733 And now both are dead, so it's all a wash.
You're SO GAY for Sanguinius
FUCKINGHORUS
Yea, thank God they made him Warmaster and not that other guy with a Claw and a Mace...
I imagine it will go something like this:
Part one: Imperium. 51mins long.
Part two: Every other Xenos faction in the game. 35mins xD
Except for orks
@@Marc-zi4vg *WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Nah, the Imperium might be the most fleshed-out faction, but Chaos, Necrons, Orks and Eldar are huge as well. Actually, the only ones that don't have that much lore are the Tau, but... they are Tau, who cares? :
I have watched this video around 5 times and it is still amazing. Please keep doing what you are doing
Imagine being a guardsmen in the heat of battle, your friends dying left and right by milions. Then right when you are about to be horribly sawed in half or something a 8ft tall golden guy appears and saves you then pledges to protect you.
@Xen Glaris well good for you
and then the grey knights arrive
Not gonna lie, I'd feel blessed
@@Berrusian123 The Grey Knights got no authority over the Custodes whatsoever, so it wouldn't matter ... also, they can try ;)
@@lkvideos7181 well if we are going to get so picky then the adeptus custodes never going to have any reason to help a fucking guardsmen and even less reason to ¨pledge to protect you¨ you are not the emperor, so... yeah i guessing they gona let the grey knights do his work.