Why Some Cops Become Cops - Kyle Kinane
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2019
- Kyle Kinane shares a few reasons why police officers might choose that particular career path and recounts a time when a very friendly cop showed up to a party. (Contains strong language.)
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I met one of those cops! It was the day my dad died. Everyone had left (ambulance, other cops, etc) and one cop was still staying with me. He got me my skateboard and sneakers from inside and I just skated absently up and down the street to make myself feel better while we waited for the funeral home to come pick my dad up. The cop was like "I actually used to skate" and I was like "oh really? Well give it a go" and then he skated, in full uniform, up and down my street. Was the little light for me on a very dark day.
I hope he knows he's one of a dying breed of real life good guys. Making a difference with the meaningful contributions he gives of himself as he serves the public and leaves a lasting impression with the people of his community.
I hope someday, when you have the opportunity to make sure that he knows he made a difference in your life in your most critical time of need and how much that meant to you, that you will make sure to use it .
He doesn't do it for the recognition, but the honorable mention provides a reminder to him why he is who he is and why he is a true success in his career! It could make the difference in an officer who remains a positive force and an officer who gets burned out and falls from grace.
God rest your father's soul. Til you meet him again, on the other side.
May you be blessed with a life of peace, prosperity & love all around you.
~Laura
We’re all just humans like the rest of humanity. There are some bad apples that have power issues. The rest of us like to do our job. Protect and serve. Not fund cities
@@BlackKnight-ll8qh Thank you for what you do; for protecting and serving. May you be blessed for your efforts.
I'm so sorry you lost your dad. Mine passed on last year. I'm glad you had that experience with the cop. I hope you are doing better these days.
@Michael Glover this is a comment about my dad dying. So freaking inappropriate to say something like that.
I like this style. That crazy uncle with tons of stories, except he can actually deliver them with a punchline.
Akeem Rizk Lmao yeah
Cyclically, his cadence is pure Buress.
The undertow in their voice; humility, sarcasm, controlled panic...tough awareness of The Ridiculousness of it all
Yes. I agree
@@e-drums1115 Joey Diaz
Uncle Noel.
Why do I have a suspicious feeling that that cop's buddies upstairs dared him, like "I'll give you 20 bucks if you just casually walk in on the party downstairs and have a beer with all those kids like it's no big deal." XD
For real 😂 I'd do it
super troopers
And he was like
"Aiiight, would have done it for free".
You'd be surprised how close you are to the truth.
While out partying I once took a 20$ bet i could get 2 girls to climb in the back of a surplus copsicle (3 wheel meter-reader) I used to drive, and close the lid.
I bought their drinks with the 20..
"Couches are free...drive around, you can get a couch"😂
"he bought a couch.. What with his money? SHIT thats a big move"
too true
That's what I miss most about living in the US. One night I refurnished my entire living room by driving around lol. New sofas and a coffee table I think, don't remember because similar situations happened almost every time the nearby rich neighborhood had their garbage day...
So true bro and you can also get bed bugs!!!
I'm 29; never bought a couch. Confirmed, that's a big move.
This was good. You know you're old when you throw parties for buying furniture.
androssteague 😂 Literally yesterday my Mum’s friend invited me to her place with them because she’s redecorated her living room!!! 🤷🏻♀️ I was like... umm, no. WTF?
I've never bought new furniture in my entire life and I'm almost 50, lol. Have you priced a new fuckin' couch lately? Ridiculous.
Couch might be free, but the bedbugs that come with it are an expensive bitch to get rid of.
Oh yeah my grammy threw a party with drugs, beers, a dead guy upstairs and police camr, totally how old people throw parties
@Baby Boto You should go to the living room party.
Why does Kyle look like a fishing boat captain?
Popeye!
turns out he is trader joe
Probably the hat
Popeyes dad!
On a river
and that cop was Michael Kelso .
Firas Jaballi classic Kelso.
Lolol
Exactly what I was thinking the whole time
I cant unsee this Kelso now Also id like to think hes moonlighting as a security guard for the playboy club in Chicago.
“...I left my gun at the playground!”
The walking into the party cop sums up my law enforcement career lol. Most parties I was dispatched to for noise complaints or whatever, I just gave them a heads up their neighbors were upset and they needed to keep it down. Sometimes I'd be comin from a traumatic call and get dispatched to a party complaint and I'd chat for a few with the homeowner. They never knew just how much they were helping me cope with what I had dealt with earlier. The good cops out there appreciate when you stop and ask them how their day is going.
Dude, I was your uber driver along Sunset like a month ago... Man, you rifted on some deep and funny ass questions. the cap gave ypu away, lol
I’m jealous that must’ve been an interesting ride
I remember the teen panic around cops and pot or beer. My buddy and I were smoking some pot from a small bong by the river. I saw red and blue lights flashing coming down under the bridge. I whipped the bong into the river without even thinking. Then an ambulance rounds the corner and leaves...
OneironauticalOne ambulances don’t have blue lights....
Shit i'll top that story cop pulls me over in a fucking paddy wagon i was right across the street from my crib... Takes my weed and smokes it in the paddy wagon police station is on the next block... But he didnt give me a ticket just told me to go
@@Ed-ealmighty yeah none of that happened bro...
Google maps 51st north ave milwaukee wisconsin u'll see a row of apts (still on 51st north ave but across the street) is the school... on 50th is the police station... No one lies about losin weed
@@Ed-ealmighty so the cop pulls you over in a paddy wagon then smokes your weed in it, okay bro what everyou say...
I love listening to him. He's so poetic, more than most comedians.
I agree...
Its nice to see some intelligence making its way into stand up comedy again...
yeah, he's got a certain flow
Yes, he is! I love his word choices. He and Patton Oswalt have that tale quality.
I really like how thematic this bit was. He starts out by talking about how he's too old to party, peppers in some jokes about kids being too young to drink, the ends with the, "you've been dancing under your own mortality for four hours."
I guess the theme is age.
I love that about him, too. He has a great, unique style.
This is the white friend Dave Chappelle talked about, you know the guy who walks up to the cop with a mouth full of weed smoke and asks directions. Then when the cop goes "is that weed?" You know it's illegal?" And he goes "I didn't know that".
"I'm sorry officer. I didn't know that!"
I want to believe this, can you tell me how you know this to be true?
@@seanclements6206 they're not saying this as a fact, they mean like this is the type of person chapelle was trying to show in the skit
Around here that would be a lie! :) It's legal! Praise Jah!
Such a great bit.
"This cop descended from the upstairs balcony"
My brain: Cop on cable, drops down, joins party.
lol
My brain: not a bad intro for a surprise stripper...
This man's comedy has gotten me through so many hard times. You're doing the lord's work Kyle
All customer service jobs involve every customer hates you.
False. Those in the sex trade are loved by customers
Pot heads love their dealers... Or plug or whatever you wunna call it...
drug dealers love their customers and even give them more and different kinds of drugs if they are loyal....
You guys need new jobs
@@TheUnfilteredOpinion Fair enough. You guys make good points; I hadn't considered sex workers or hook-ups customer service. What came to my mind were call centers (who you call if something isn't working) and return counters at stores. Now that you guys pointed that stuff out, I can think of other jobs were you are serving customers that wouldn't involve the same hatred as those you deal with when you need to complain about something.
Amen
Serving icecream vs administering barium enemas. One customer glad, one not.
“A few wild cards runnin’ around...” Excellent.
This entire story had north side Chicago written all over it. 😂😂😂😂😂
Very much so
Dude's from Addison Illinois
Makes sense, I know I've seen him in a bar somewhere
LINCOLN PAHK BABYYYY SMOKIN ROUND AHZ PAHK GETTIN CHASED BY BORED PIGS
Law Evanston represent
this set is more relevant than ever
I've watched this bit like 3 or 4 times over the years and it gets me every time, Kinane's delivery is so well crafted for this story.
It's a shame this looks like it is from a compilation rather than a full special, because I would gladly go for another full length special from my favorite working comedian.
“Favorite”
Really,,,?
That’s pretty weak
It's from his special "I Liked His Old Stuff Better". You probably knew that though since he's your favorite
Listen to the Boogie Monster podcast
RainbowRandolf he has another special called “loose in Chicago.” It’s hilarious highly recommend it
Check out whiskey icarus
The coolest cop experience I ever had was my Senior year in High school at my friends graduation party.
It was about 30 or 40 of us at my friends house, lots of alcohol & lots of weed. Of course one of the neighbors calls the police & just one officer shows up, he's a young late 20's early 30's looking guy, I'll never forget his name Officer Martinez... He shows up knocks on the door & we're all freaking out trying to stash every bottle liquor & every bag of weed we had in the spot, unfortunately one the kids there was an idiot & left a whole 8th of GDP just sitting on the table in the living room. Officer Martinez walks in with this real serious look on his face with his flashlight on pointing it at everyone's face (even though the lights were on in the house), we're all thinking we're busted. He looks at my friend & says "this your party?" My friend nervously answers "Uh yes sir it is, we're so sorry, we're just having a graduation par.." Officer Martinez cuts him off mid sentence looking down at the table & sees the weed, he picks up opens the bag, smells it, looks around the room with the stern look on his face, then all of the sudden starts nodding his head & just says *"Granddaddy Factory Purp huh, NICE!"* He puts the bag down & says "you guys enjoy yourselves" with a big grin on his face, then just leaves. It was literally the funniest & most awesome interaction I ever had with a cop.
Liberty City El some cops love to fuck with people like that 😂😂 I know they get a kick out of freaking everyone out and then bouncing out clearly not concerned about illegal activities like cannabis LOL gotta love those cops
cool story bro... was it in Cali?
Way to rat out ofc.Martinez dumbass
@@danielnobel5869 Dude... Do you know how many "Officer Martinez" there are in the state of Cali alone? Then add New York, Chicago, and Dallas. Has to be a solid 20k right there alone. I'm pretty sure he's safe.
Way to accurate so we're you stone cold sober or lies all lies or just imbelshing a little on some details
That punchline came outta nowhere lmfao
This man is unquestionably one of the funniest comics out there right now!
I’d question that.
Dignifly in guessing he’s talking about up and coming
Compared to Tosh?
I agree with you but he's been pimping this joke for years
Yea you're tripping.
I remember one day I was coming back from my plugs house with an ounce of weed in my car. The lady driving in front of me tried to turn right, and basically stopped her car in the middle of road before she turned. I slammed on my brakes by just barely ended up making contact in what turned out to be an incredibly mild fender bender. I offered to give her my information and everything, but she INSISTED that she had to call the police. So I’m thinking “fuck what do I do now.” I decided to stay outside my car and look like I was trying to assess the damage, hoping that if he didn’t have to stick his head in my car he wouldn’t smell the weed. Cop shows up, gives me the ticket or whatever, and starts walking away. I’m thinking “holy shit I can’t believe that worked”. He turns to me and says “oh yeah, one more thing. Be careful with that marijuana , that shits loud as hell”. Fucking coolest cop ever. The ones that kicked in my door, threw me out of bed, barked confusing orders at me and then nearly shot me when I was confused by said orders... not so much. and those cops are much, much more common
The “cool” cop probably had the “uncool” cops come to your place lol. They’re not on your side. Ever.
@@db8700 Yeah that's pure propoganda and bias you're spouting. Cops are people too.
oh wow, it's like the Lord just led me here, led me there, till I got here to read your comment. I am a senior citizen with health problems. my meddling neighbor made an "anonymous" phone call to the police to do a "welfare check" on me 5 days ago. I didn't answer the door because they came at 9AM, and I have COPD and don't sleep because of breathing problems and then can't wake up. they actually BROKE INTO the house, and I got up to find them standing in my kitchen. I was scared out my mind. they did that SAME thing to me in this idiotic, small FL town. at was like they were just enjoying themselves barking questions at my face. and-----ta da----the "oh so concerned cops---after all, it was suppoosed to be a 'welfare check"-----weren't wearing masks or anything---didn't even bother making a show of "social distancing" )they were not more than 18" away from my face while they were yelling at me. I was crying and scared. 5 days later, I am still a mental wreck. Now, the way I am, I will be spending time investigating the legality of all that the did. and probably just wasting my precious time.
God bless---and remember----God in heaven is the ultimate judge. He misses NOTHING----no detail---whether of actions or a person's true intentions---gets passed His all-seeing eyes.
@@annasteffiesolenick9732
"Welfare checks" I can't think of anything more harmful to a human beings welfare then armed thugs showing up and breaking into their home... often these "Welfare checks" are just an execution squad if you have any mental health issues... Good thing you didn't react appropriately to armed men standing in your home or you would be dead... Crazy stuff. Good luck out there and I hope your health improves (or at least doesn't get worse)
@@annasteffiesolenick9732 they all probably get tested daily before work. The masks are to protect others
Lmfao im the pothead that has done that with a lit joint.
J H after you fucking step on it?? you are a disgrace.
Jeremy pifer All depends on how much you don’t wanna go to jail. Nerd.
@@jeremypifer1587 get off my thread little boy.
Also holy shit 119 likes thanks guys.
@J H if it's just a roach left I'd rather take my $100 ticket instead of having to swallow that shit, and sometimes they even let you finish it.
@@dylanthegreat13 try 800.00 dollars and a day in jail. Thats what i got in michigan for half a gram walking down the road a year prior to legalization
Probably my favorite bit from him, pure gold the entire way through. Love it!
The Matthew McConaughey of cops!
That was a great story
Whiskey Icarus Kyle Kinane is always awesome. He should be more famous for sure.
His bit about pancakes on an airplane might the funniest thing I have ever heard.
@T Carroll
You watch your mouth, Mr or Ms Carroll!
Hes the voice of comedy central or at least he used to be
Kyle has amazing delivery. So clean.
I'm having a flash-back just listening to this dude. 😆😂🤣😜
ikr
First time I’ve heard this dude. I wasn’t sure if I’d find him funny. He did it. 👍🏻
He had me laughing out loud. ⭐️
"Not from above." - got me good.
I know a guy who this describes, he can't wait to retire from law enforcement.
Kyle is a comic genius, underrated.
His pancakes on a plane bit is one of the funniest I've ever heard
maybe I'm crazy but I remember this bit from somewhere. That voice and good delivery is gonna keep building and building, dudes way too underrated. This is also the healthiest and most well-rested I've seen the man, bravo Kyle. Keep it up dude
Coolest cop I've ever come across was in college. He walked into a pretty wild college party looking at the floor (so he didn't see anything) and said "I don't care if you're underage drinking, I don't care if you're smokin' dope. Just turn the music down so I don't get any more calls from your neighbors". He turned around and walked out. We turned the music down and never saw him again.
Kinane is downright my favorite comedian 😂😂😂😂
we had that at a campout. the ranger and his pup where hella chill. then he left. good guy
I’ve literally been to and experienced the party he described 😂
Comedian: My friend bought a couch
Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
🤣 white comedians suck
No white people just really love couches
@The following is wrong: True him and Sinbad are the only comedians who could be funny without cussing or offensive material
@@KennyJ702 Yeah. George Carlin, Robin Williams, Jerry Seinfeld, Ricky Gervais, Steve Martin, Rodney Dangerfield, Louis CK, Bob Newhart, Jonathan Winters just suck.
I think it was just one guy being that loud.
Kyle Kinane is one of the best stand up comedians around right now. He deserves way more fame.
“We’re not gonna be psychos tonight” 🤣🤣🤣
That line about the broken video game characters was hilarious. He even paused a lil bit to let it sink into the room. Just a second or two more for everyone to collectively visualized it in their minds. Quality storytelling, right there.
I swear Kyle hires that guy with that great laugh to follow him around at shows. You can always hear him in the background.
Bro it's probably a comedian that opens for him or tours with him.
This would have been a great episode of That 70's Show...actually I think they did do it.
“Everybody’s gotta go to the back porch to do their nefarious shit”
Nods head, yeah Chicago
I’ve heard this on Pandora so many times and I’m glad to finally see him tell the joke, it’s even funnier
Those cops are the best, I went to school in Chicago. One time we got the cops called because the music was too loud, they walked in the back yard where everyone was smoking weed (before it was legal). They didn't even come up the stairs, they just shouted from down below to turn the music down and told the people downstairs not to call them again.
Hands down my favorite sketch of his. Always comes up on Pandora. So weird to see it done live. 😂
Lol I’ve been to a few of those Chicago back porch parties 😆
That moment when you find out a jock from your old high school is a cop
Cop: Oh, hey John!
*Internal screaming ensues*
John Mista Happened to me. Only he "was" the neighborhood rival that lived across the street from me.
Spelt + John . My Old Hunting Partner Became a Game Warden . One day when I was really beat up from Hunting too Hard I went back to the truck for Lunch . This Lady who had hHorses out across the road came over and was talking to me . I offered her part of my Lunch and she declined , I had a sandwich in my hand. The Deer police cruiser races up and Parks behind truck Gets out and walks up and Bites Half of my Sandwich . The Horse Lady is right there astonished . He reaches in truck and takes a Pepsi and grabs part of my lunch and snacks . A conversation develops and she invites me to Hunt her Property ? Funniest Thing other people had seen .
That would be the best I slept with all of them.
Such a funny comedian. Easily one of my favorites
Nice set man, keep doing your thing!
I
and that whole time im thinking seth rogen as a cop in superbad lmao
Kyle's one of my favorite comedians. He tells such funny stories I'd love to drink with him 🤣
One of the best comedians of our time. Hidden treasure.
Funniest 10 minutes I can remember. Incredible
this dude is hilarious
That's still one of my favorite bits, ever.
That's the best cop interaction bit I've ever heard man great job.
I ride a pedicab in Seattle and a cop rolled by me on a bike while I was blasting heavy metal from my loudspeaker and he says to me... "Hey, is that the new Sleep album?"
A coworker sitting next to me had his entire world shattered by hearing that.
Sleep \m/
So, was he right in his guess?
@@einundsiebenziger5488 bingo bongo
When me and the boys were in Highschool we use to go to college parties and the call the cops on them. We'd steal the keg and whatever we could get our hands on while everyone else was running around like a chicken with their head cut off. Like 90% of our teens drinking in the woods phase was sponsored by the local university kids. Thanks for the smelly fingers guys. I couldn't have done it with out you.
Bro that's a bomb ass idea if you live in that sort of area
That's shitty AF
"A few wildcards running around" 😂
I've been binging comedy - like 100's of YT videos of comedy, and this is hands-down my favorite.
"Not from above" he sounds So put out
I swear to god I hear a distinct Chris d’elia laugh at 8:18
Dolce Luxe it’s a little off but close
Can someone please, for the love of everything that’s holy, get this guy an hour+ special on some platform?! What’s it gonna take?
Kinane is a total master. beautiful set.
Until I looked him up, I found it crazy how much he sounded like the Comedy Central voice over guy...now I know
He’s so good! Reminds me of all the times I got an underage drinking ticket in college.
"Land of the free" LOL
Kinane's technique is impeccable here! The way he builds that story... and the payoff is MAGNIFICENT! This is comedy!
Hilarious! Loved it. Gonna find more of Kyle's stuff.
He really gives me hanibal burress vibes and i like it lol
Where's the rest of Kyle? Did he just lose like a person amount of weight?
That set was a masterpiece. Kyle kinane is too notch.
Had a cop like that. When I was 17 I went on a date wirh someone 45 minutes away from my home. Where I live you can't drive under 18 past 10, he pulled me over at 12:30 for speeding. I had expired insurance and everything, and all he asked me was how the date went before letting me go without a ticket or anything.
Funny af
Panic On The Porch...should be a band...
@meanwhile in CHIberia don't leave me hanging dude, I need a name
This reminded me why i love Kyle Kinane
The underage kid chucking the beers off the patio and him being like "Dude I bought those I can have those..."
This actually aged surprisingly well. Lol
5:01 joker laugh!
Looking for this. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is such a high-quality, tight bit. Real skill.
Absolute legend, love this man
Damn, he's the funniest comic I've seen in years.
You should watch more comedians.
@@alexandercanella4479 - He would really be funny if he punched you in the face several times. I would buy a ticket to see that.
@@onjofilms
Crybaby bitch
I get a low key Tom Waits vibe from this dude
LOVE you Kyle! So damn funny! I love his delivery!
First time seeing this guy, great work!
We had one of these cops in the 90s.when we would be skateboarding,all of the other cops would be writing us tickets or trying to take our boards,we had this one cop,on a bike no less,who would stop and talk to us about black flag and minor threat and skateboarding in the early 80s.officer blackie was a cool dude
I feel like I grew up with this guy, except my cop stories usually started with experiencing cops doing something illegal, and ended with mag light head trauma.
This is one of my favorite bits
Just got to the end, amazing story!!!!
This tale is every midwest white person party, I wasn't there....but I was there.
5:00 - that is literally the Joker...........
Kyle covers all the particulars the audience needs to relate too
Im in tears