my job in korea (i quit) 🚩🚩🚩 what really happened at my non-teaching job in seoul

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  • Опубликовано: 22 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @caricakes
    @caricakes  2 года назад +930

    This was filmed with a LOT of breaks in between so apologies for all the light changes. And I realize the first story/example I gave is in fact pretty petty BUT give me a break, that was the last funny/harmless petty moment we had before it all got toxic and dark lol
    *edit* i dont know 2022 chad and dont wish him any harm or negativity now. the stuff that happened in the past were bad, but i also know that he was under increasing pressure too at this time. let's not call for his head or for karma to come get him lol im sure he's embarrassed by his behavior as i am of mine.
    i left many things out that involved other people since they didnt ask me to tell this story. my best friend was going through a similar hell herself but thats not something i am comfortable with sharing (if you know my channel, i tend to keep my friends separate from it cause i hate to see internet people judging such a small example of who they are ) Seeing strangers question 'why wasnt she supporting you?' is vile tbh. So pls remember, this is 1 hour explaining 2.5 years. love always!

    • @InesAxusAmmarkhodja
      @InesAxusAmmarkhodja 2 года назад +10

      Cari i feel SO sorry that you went through all this. And at the same time so glad that you're here, conscious of how wrong things were and now aware of what is right and what isn't. At 21 I'm glad i can kind of already sense or at least be cautious towards those work situations that can actually be wrong without you noticing (thanks introvert personality), I really hope everyone can become more aware of that and not hesitate to seek help or take a step back. Work shouldn't be ruining your life... And even more as young people, we are lucky enough to have more chances of finding another job, so don't stay in a bad situation and try to find an escape

    • @SophieRoxanne
      @SophieRoxanne 2 года назад +2

      Hi and thank you for sharing with us your experience, Cari! I’m trully sorry this happened to you. This broke my heart a bit and I wish i would have had the opportunity to watch/hear something like this when I was starting my first job in 2012. I found myself in some of your experiences and I sobbed. I think this video will help a lot of young people starting their first jobs/interships. Thank you again! Sending you hugs and ❤️

    • @jkjk8
      @jkjk8 2 года назад +3

      Toxic environments; that energy all trickles down from the top.

    • @Tumblrkid-hg6sw
      @Tumblrkid-hg6sw 2 года назад +3

      Thank you for posting this video Cari! I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience. I'm sending you a virtual hug and lots of positive energy! You are incredibly strong for going through this and sharing your experience. I'm currently looking for my post-grad job so I'm glad I know some toxic behavior to look out for.

    • @helenmcnair4284
      @helenmcnair4284 2 года назад +11

      So - you worked for a sociopath/narcissist for the first time in your lives. Learn this lesson very closely, but there are millions of them, you have to be very careful in life. Study the ground rules for sociopathy/narcissism and be constantly vigilant.

  • @chloe7288
    @chloe7288 Год назад +253

    Needing to sleep on an automan next to your "manager" for three months straight without your own private room is straight up abuse. I'm so sorry you went through that.

    • @Dara-kc1yf
      @Dara-kc1yf Год назад +16

      Honestly that part of the story got me 😭 like the second bedroom should’ve been hers esp if Michelle and Chad were intimate…AND Michelle was a last minute add on.

    • @katelynbrown98
      @katelynbrown98 Год назад

      ​@@Dara-kc1yfI must've missed that part. Where did she say they were intimate?

    • @dearestemma
      @dearestemma Год назад +3

      @@katelynbrown98Chad and Michelle were dating it sounds like. So I think it’s an assumption.

  • @karinanieblas3677
    @karinanieblas3677 2 года назад +1415

    Cari, do not apologize for how long is this video, it is your experience and we are here to listen to you. I send you love.

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +39

      thank you!

    • @Kastoraki
      @Kastoraki 2 года назад

      I have not been in Korea but I watch in kdramas that in Korea people used to apologise a lot.... maybe she is under the Korean influence of apologizing, something like flu! ,😄

  • @adriennehilll
    @adriennehilll 2 года назад +1760

    I’ve been in a toxic workplace before and it’s insane how much it can drain you mentally and physically whether you’re at work or home.. I’m sorry you had to go through this 😭 bad management can literally make a work environment crumble

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +57

      glad we're both in better situations now ❤️❤️❤️

  • @GissellaRamirez-Valle
    @GissellaRamirez-Valle 2 года назад +1038

    I interviewed for the NYC summer internship. I remember being stunned at how he shut down this one friendly question I had asked at the end of the interview. I felt really bad about not getting the internship back then and blamed myself for making him upset. SMH!!

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +256

      as fun as it would have been to work together, you dodged a bullet - tho maybe you would have called out that shitty behavior so we could have all seen it sooner lol

    • @cevanille1104
      @cevanille1104 2 года назад +11

      info on the company ?

    • @mtkk22
      @mtkk22 2 года назад +23

      And now you find out you were very fortunate NOT to get that manipulative Chad.

    • @cloudchamois7004
      @cloudchamois7004 2 года назад +32

      People who shut down questions are insecure and toxic. No confident person would react that way or mistreat people for no reason.

    • @AN-no4zk
      @AN-no4zk 2 года назад +12

      @@cloudchamois7004 That explains a lot about my mom

  • @workinprogress3329
    @workinprogress3329 Год назад +96

    “Making sure everyone loved him, but hated each other” EXACTLY the situation I’m living. That manger is no longer at the company, but all the drama they created is still around.

  • @ZmogusBlogas
    @ZmogusBlogas 2 года назад +379

    from someone who just left a toxic job situation - i am sorry you had to experience that and happy to see you thriving now!

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +15

      glad you got out 🤍🤍🤍

  • @madiganclossick5849
    @madiganclossick5849 2 года назад +319

    Thank you Cari for this video. As someone who has just graduated college and will be moving to a new country, this story is something I needed to hear. I cried thinking of all the pain you went through but I am so happy you have grown and found genuine happiness.

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +32

      its so hard when we dont fully know how things work (whether its full time work or visa laws in a new country) but i hope that this helps in any way!

    • @margaretgarana911
      @margaretgarana911 Год назад

      Be careful. It really is just a job.

  • @qwanyboi
    @qwanyboi 2 года назад +346

    I think this is only my second time writing a comment on any RUclips video, but I had to say, thank you cari. You are probably saving someone’s life right now, and you don’t even know them. People are going through things everyday and they often times forget that they are not alone. It’s very refreshing to see you admit what has happened and acknowledge how toxic it was while sharing it and probably becoming the strength that someone needs to get out of that bad situation. Everyone think it’s easy to handle any situation that comes their way, but its a totally different thing to be in the situation than it is to talk about one . Thanks for sharing and im happy you made it through. Congrats on making such awesome content. My wife got me watching your channel and now im hooked

  • @sabrinacomotto3565
    @sabrinacomotto3565 2 года назад +517

    As a senior professional, who has worked in many different evironments, including toxic ones, I can affirm: 1) you should never trust in a workplace when workmates are presented as "friends" or "college mates". You can make friends at work (I actually have made some along my career), but a professional environment should be mantain and promoted by managers; 2) Your boss was a pshycopat and a narcicist, and, appart from all the abuses you suffered from him, he was probably making money from the poor conditions where you all live (I mean, may be he received money for a bigger place and kept it for him illegally); 3) If you're up to sign a contract with a company abroad, please require legal advise about labor law of the country ruling your contract, and specific details about medical inssurance, holidays, work hours, etc. All these aspects vary a lot from country to country, and you should be very careful with some of them (Korea, Russia, among others)

    • @debrawildrick9601
      @debrawildrick9601 2 года назад +16

      I agree.. was thinking the same thing.. Pocketing the apartment budget for himself.. I honestly don't see how this company could survive.. the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing.. and does not take care of it's employees.

    • @rubina1868
      @rubina1868 2 года назад +2

      I think I work for a chad.

    • @paulogaspar8295
      @paulogaspar8295 2 года назад +4

      Please stop diagnosing people by calling them psychopats and narcisists. I know the internet loves to do it but not even professionals can conclude that purely based on what this girl experience was of that person, let alone people that aren't psychiatrists or psychologists.

    • @sabrinacomotto3565
      @sabrinacomotto3565 2 года назад +20

      @@paulogaspar8295 please stop considering a comment on social media as a diagnosis! Lol

    • @_enchantress_5422
      @_enchantress_5422 Год назад

      what's up with Russia?

  • @queentatoune
    @queentatoune 2 года назад +166

    I am infuriated on your behalf watching this seriously. I can't believe that you pulled through. And it's so valuable to put your story out there. It's so easy to think from outside "just leave, why won't you remove yourself from this horrible situation, anything is better than this life !" but I know that when it's actually happening, very often the brain goes into survival mode and you go into that tunnel where you just endure what's happening to you no matter the cost. I hope people watching and living a similar experience get the push they need to get out of it !

    • @prtdiva
      @prtdiva 2 года назад +2

      I agree with this. I just watched a similar work horror story about Korea and the vlogger addressed this issue. She said she tried to quit her job but couldn’t get out of her contract and was forced to find her own replacement before she could be released from work. So sometimes it’s not that easy to just quit.

  • @peachylix
    @peachylix 2 года назад +227

    I almost cried several times during this one. It brought back so many memories of my previous toxic work environment. I don't think people always realize how much a bad professional experience can take out of you, just like personal experiences can. I wish you could name and shame these people and put them on blast like they deserve, but I understand why you can't and won't. I admire the amount of grace you're willing to grant some of them, because I definitely haven't given that benefit to the people involved in my own story. Perhaps I'll take that cue from you and learn to let it go lol.

  • @michellegomes2030
    @michellegomes2030 Год назад +48

    I have ptsd from a horrible job 4 yrs ago. I’m in therapy and medication because of that and had to stop my life for 2 years to heal. Thanks for sharing your story ❤

  • @minori6008
    @minori6008 2 года назад +102

    I just finished my internship 4 days ago and hearing you talk about your experience has helped me realize that I was in a toxic environment and that not everything was in my head as my family and friends told me. If it makes sense hear you tell your experience has made me feel less alone and understood. I am very sorry for what you went through and I am glad that you are in a happy place now.
    As always ,love your videos❤️

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +11

      sorry for what you went through too!

  • @ljhygfmggfgk
    @ljhygfmggfgk 2 года назад +115

    Love this version of Cari! Just real and no fluff! Tell it like it is! 👍🏻

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +15

      thanks for listening lol :')

  • @claregilmore3859
    @claregilmore3859 2 года назад +53

    I'm crying right now because I'm just realizing how much of this stuff happens to all of us and how we're trained to keep it to ourselves. Thank you for sharing and validating this type of experience

    • @mayi4403
      @mayi4403 2 года назад

      Whaaaa??? Come back home! Come back to the land of the Free. People can say crap all they want about America but it’s still one of the BEST countries in the world!

  • @AstraeaAntiope
    @AstraeaAntiope Год назад +12

    I am glad you took as many breaks as you needed while recording this. You endured something horrible and damaging. I have been through workplace situations that affected me similarly, and it was so validating to hear you share. We are not alone, and I hope we can be catalysts to change people-destroying narratives about work ethic and workplace culture. I was in public schools, so it is not just corporate America.

  • @charlottetdondon.4013
    @charlottetdondon.4013 2 года назад +49

    I am so PLEASED you’ve spoke about this. People don’t do this enough, and it happens all the time. So happy that you’re in a better situation now Cari!💖💖💖

  • @doyalaundry
    @doyalaundry 2 года назад +158

    THIS is actually what a narcissist is. THANK YOU for creating awareness. Proud of you for getting out. So proud. You're a beautiful human bby.

  • @Juniperus_Godegara
    @Juniperus_Godegara 2 года назад +431

    Often young people are taken adventage of because they are naive and inexperienced, some managers look for this type for agreeableness.
    One sentence hit me: "You look sad, it is unprofessional" - and that was the 'nice' CEO? 😂 Toxic positivity is poisoning people's brains.
    Thank you for sharing your story it was really nice you didn't cut it short, the devil is in the details.

    • @suzieuda
      @suzieuda 2 года назад +25

      I think you hit the nail on the head. The keyword here is definitely the fact that Cari and co-workers were young and they thought they were working among friends whom they could trust. So, even if there were many red flags, they stuck around because these were their "friends". That CEO was just as responsible, I would say. Reminds me of a former boss who just had to be the person with the last say ~ "Oh you want to resign before I'm ready to fire you? Pack your things right now since you want to leave so badly". It amazes me how people like this exist.

    • @debrawildrick9601
      @debrawildrick9601 2 года назад +6

      Exactly, Juniperus! That CEO did not even hear Cari's side and just assumed what she was told was truth. Her 2nd mistake.. Her first mistake was hiring CHAD.

    • @sarahl.7277
      @sarahl.7277 2 года назад +5

      @@suzieuda that is actually funny. In my last job my boss threatened to fire me, because my former superior (who had just quit work and was there to have a final meeting with the boss) and I were saying farewell to each other. She was super pissed off when she found out an hour later that I had handed in my resignation. Sort of: how dare I? When she wanted to throw me out for saying good bye just an hour ago. Typical narcissist bosses.

  • @MVTay
    @MVTay 2 года назад +389

    I recently quit a really toxic job in Korea - my ceo was abusive, manipulative and so controlling and micromanaging everything. Our team was super small so it was such a horrible environment to be in. My mental health has never been worse. No job is worth that! I only lasted 5 months, I don’t know how you survived 2 years Cari 😢 onwards and upwards for both of us 💕

    • @malinf6654
      @malinf6654 2 года назад +7

      Glad you got out. Good you saw it and didn't stay longer.

    • @victimofpsychiatry
      @victimofpsychiatry 2 года назад +7

      I have been through so many jobs with bosses/ colleagues like that here in Singapore, I am getting discouraged 😔💔 Glad you got out

    • @MVTay
      @MVTay 2 года назад +2

      Thank you guys 💕

    • @butterflymoon6368
      @butterflymoon6368 2 года назад

      was it run by koreans or ex pats?

    • @MVTay
      @MVTay 2 года назад +5

      @@butterflymoon6368 It was run by a Korean American

  • @bts_vintagearmy3754
    @bts_vintagearmy3754 2 года назад +30

    Friends - good friends- can save your life. Thank God your three friends from college found you when you most needed someone. I cannot imagine how alone you felt… and how very strong your courage was. In talking with them and re-framing your life, You saved yourself.
    Amazing! So grateful!

  • @dyrectory_com
    @dyrectory_com 2 года назад +13

    It must feel so good to finally put an end to this this chapter of your life by telling your story. Your story validates others' stories that they, when in the heat of the situation, can't express it clearly as you have after time and distance has passed. Thanks for sharing! 👏🏻

  • @enshrinehd
    @enshrinehd 2 года назад +22

    Dang, listening to your story confirms my life-long disdain for corporate life!! I was saved from it because I am a naturally disagreeable person! I'm glad I found a career where I could work alone and prosper..........you're adorable, ardent and I so glad that you are flourishing!

    • @satan9487
      @satan9487 2 года назад +1

      if you dont mind me asking what do you do?

    • @fairyfathom
      @fairyfathom 2 года назад

      What's your career, if you don't mind me asking?

    • @ClayMastah344
      @ClayMastah344 2 года назад +1

      I am the same. Hate corporate.

    • @enshrinehd
      @enshrinehd 2 года назад +6

      @@satan9487 I just saw your question. I've been a self employed massage therapist and working artist for 32 years......

    • @enshrinehd
      @enshrinehd 2 года назад +2

      @@fairyfathom I've been a licensed Massage Therapist and working artist for 32 years

  • @GoldenPerception
    @GoldenPerception Год назад +3

    Watching this after having dealt with a dark can’t-stop-crying period this summer makes me want to teleport across the world to give you a big huge hug. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this Cari, I’m so glad you’re in a better place now.

  • @Rileyw239
    @Rileyw239 2 года назад +26

    This is something that feels super helpful for me. I’m about to move to Korea and start my first job out of college. I am going the english teacher route but still I feel like this has informed me of so many red flags that I can look out for when starting a career in a foreign country. I’m so happy that you have been able to grow and move past this experience.

    • @neilc365
      @neilc365 2 года назад +4

      Hi. There are several FB groups in Korea, one called LOFT, that would be good for you to join if you haven't already. Lots of support and information sharing about what's legal and what's not. Best of luck!

    • @hayleybarbara1589
      @hayleybarbara1589 2 года назад +2

      Be very careful with hakwons! Whenever you get your contract bring it to the teachinginkorea subreddit to have experienced teachers review it for red flags! Also make sure to ask for the contact information of a previous teacher

    • @Rileyw239
      @Rileyw239 2 года назад +1

      @@neilc365 thank you! I have joined for a few months and it’s super useful!

    • @Rileyw239
      @Rileyw239 2 года назад +1

      @@hayleybarbara1589 thank you so much! I was terrified of a bad hagwon so I was really picky and did so many interviews. I got super lucky and the school I work for now is wonderful!

  • @amycsloth7900
    @amycsloth7900 2 года назад +185

    Oh Cari, this story so speaks to me. In 2018 I took a job in Korea at what was pitched to me and 9 other Americans as a school for online content creation. They hired professional actors, writers, editors and production folks to move across the world and teach high schoolers and adults how to make high production value content to start the next generation of youtube/tiktok/instagram stars basically. There were so many red flags and issues and I also had a manager who was a nightmare (he would scream at me and send me passive aggressive emails during the day and then was surprised I didn't want to hang out and drink with him at night?) but long story short after 4 months our CEO told us one of the investors had pulled all their money out of the school and she could no longer pay us. We could either stay and continue working for free or we could leave with basically just enough of a severance to get us home. I left but couldn't even really talk to anyone about it for a good year afterwards because I had intense trauma around the whole situation. Thank you for sharing your story with us-- it's more common than we realize!

    • @bts_vintagearmy3754
      @bts_vintagearmy3754 2 года назад +1

      What a strong person your experience has made you.

    • @debrawildrick9601
      @debrawildrick9601 2 года назад +4

      How can these people (management) think that treating you like crap will yield dedication? Pretty Stupid on their part and if they were in your position, they would not deal with that , either... Makes me so angry that there are people that abuse power.

    • @cloudchamois7004
      @cloudchamois7004 2 года назад

      I’m so sorry and I hope you are doing better now :)

    • @rachelposavetz2698
      @rachelposavetz2698 2 года назад +1

      It's literally mental abuse what some of these narcissistic, etc bosses are capable (and frighteningly ALLOWED) to put their employees through. When Cari mentioned not knowing why she turned to "Chad" at her lowest point for help getting info for self care.. I got chills remembering past experience; the manipulation that would lead to dynamics similar to Stockholm's Syndrome in which there's a twisted loyalty to the boss abusing you b/c they're simultaneously manipulating you/twisting things to make you think they're genuinely caring for your well-being. It's sickening that people like this are in management. Trust your gut instinct: if it feels wrong, something is wrong. Work is not more important than your well being, Toxic workplaces can put you out of commission mentally and physically for a long time after leaving. Choose you, and act now for your well-being. 💗 Much Love to everyone who has gone or is going through these experiences. 🙏💖🌞

  • @laurafitzgerald7367
    @laurafitzgerald7367 Год назад +4

    I had two really toxic jobs one after the other this year and I totally get what you mean when you say it's possible to get into a crazy situation and not realise it's happening. That was one of the hardest things to verbalise to other people. Thank you for sharing what happened to you.

  • @Giga-lemesh
    @Giga-lemesh Год назад +1

    Thank you for sharing this. It was incredibly emotional and i can imagine horrible to relive and in part to hear, but truly enlightening about the possibility of toxic workplaces and hopefully help people to realise what is happening for them earlier

  • @LotteFlotteKarotte
    @LotteFlotteKarotte 2 года назад +21

    So glad you are out of this toxic environment Cari! You are so strong! ❤️

  • @romywolfofficial
    @romywolfofficial 2 года назад +4

    I am so sorry you had to go through this but thank you for your frankness and sharing this and making yourself vulnerable, so that other people stuck in toxic workplaces may realise they need to take action.

  • @Department_of_Justice
    @Department_of_Justice 2 года назад +61

    You're so right about being in a workplace where you're LEARNING something. Chad's role in life is to make the world crappier for absolutely no reason whatsoever. He's a Donald. This video may help some people in literal toxic work situations to not go through this.

  • @sunshinemyson
    @sunshinemyson 2 года назад +8

    Cari, you have probably helped many people with your story. No one should have to tolerate this type of situation. Please know your own self worth is so much more important than that job. I can only hope this has made you stronger and that you have moved past this horrible experience. You are always learning and sharing with us and we all appreciate it. You seem to be in a good place now. Thanks for being who you are. I'm a grandmother and just want to hug you and tell you all is ok. You weathered the storm.

  • @tuninginwithleslie
    @tuninginwithleslie 2 года назад +56

    Hi Cari! Hope your doing well. Sorry you had to go through this.This video will help prevent others people from having to go through this. Hope you are staying safe during this time. You seems like a nice person and we are here to support you thank you for sharing ❤.

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +6

      thanks for listening!

  • @ryebreadreid1942
    @ryebreadreid1942 2 года назад +89

    This is absolutely heartbreaking to watch. I cried with you multiple times. You did not deserve what happened to you. I'll say it again. you. did. not. deserve. what. happened. to. you. I love you and I am so proud of how far you have come. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story and be so open and vulnerable on your platform. Having worked in a toxic environment before as well (though no where nearly as toxic as the situation in which you found yourself), I understand the pain of crying every day at work and feeling hopeless. I cried until my eyes were bloodshot and I'd scream in the shower until my throat was raw. I was suicidal and it was absolutely one of the darkest chapters of my life. I empathize with you and, while I can never understand completely, I see you. Been watching you for a couple of years now, and I've always loved ya, but man, I have never connected with you on such a personal level as much as I did during this video. I'm so glad you are still here. You are a light in this world, Cari 💗

  • @danielak.6488
    @danielak.6488 Год назад +7

    Jesus, I feel like I experienced a very diluted version of this, a lot of what you talked about in this video felt VERY familiar to me. Luckily, I saw through our "Chad's" bs and any attempts at making everyone hate each other failed miserably and I also bounced pretty fast to protect my mental health, I can't imagine how someone can survive this for YEARS and also live with the person abusing them, omg. You're so strong, I admire you.

  • @san1883
    @san1883 2 года назад +80

    Man…this is absolutely terrible, cried with you while you were talking about how bad you were doing. Really wanted to just give you a big hug, thank god you’re out of that situation and still here with us, you are such a bright light and the world is better with you in it 💛.
    Also, Chad wasn’t just toxic, that man was fucking abusive and I’m sorry (not really) but I hope he’s doing *really* shitty in life right now. People like him destroy people and their lives and I have absolutely no compassion or understanding for anyone who chooses to abuse their power like this, it’s appalling.

  • @renee1167
    @renee1167 2 года назад +5

    oh cari…you’ve been through a lot. But thank you for sharing your story and advice on looking out for red flags in the workplace. I am so glad you made it out of that situation alive and are in a much better place now!

  • @HasabeMizurukara
    @HasabeMizurukara 2 года назад +31

    My heart supports you. I had a very different experience when I taught English in Japan and was power harassed and had my name drug through the mud. That drove me to a very very bad mental place. I think we need more honesty about the traps that happen when you work overseas and or in a unique work place. I've heard quite a few bad stories online from people I adore about start-up trauma.

    • @rachelposavetz2698
      @rachelposavetz2698 2 года назад +1

      Sorry to hear about your struggle, and celebrating your recovery (however possibly on-going) from a toxic workplace 🙏 sounds like narcissism, and sounds similar to my experience. I have been taken into a backroom to be screamed at for non-job related instances and threatened to be fired one day, and then another day have to witness the same manager literally crying tears that they're doing everything to help me but "I'm just so problematic" when they're the ones setting you up for failure with gas-lighting, micromanaging, forgetfulness, their own possible unaddressed mental health issues, etc. These narcissists are literally maddening to work under and can cause you to question everything about yourself and your own judgement...so hauntingly similar to mentally abusive romantic partners...

  • @hidden_dream
    @hidden_dream 2 года назад +18

    Hi Cari, just wanted to say that I really appreciate you talking about your experience. I haven't visited your channel in a long time but now I remember why I subscribed in the beginning. I just started my first corporate internship three weeks ago so this topic is very eye-opening for me. Once again, thanks for sharing!

  • @Yamib-nyb
    @Yamib-nyb 10 месяцев назад +1

    I'm sorry you went through all that sh*t. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤ You are amazing.

  • @ellinork
    @ellinork 2 года назад +11

    I can relate to this having worked with toxic management before and it means the world to me that you shared this. I’m in a much better place now and I’m so happy you are too! ❤️

  • @namai-ki9681
    @namai-ki9681 Год назад +9

    I understand start up vibes but sleeping in the same room as the manager and doing meetings on your bed is something else.

  • @malinf6654
    @malinf6654 2 года назад +5

    Thank you for sharing this. I cried and felt so sad for you for going thru all that. I am happy that you seem to be in a better mental state and that you got out (in some way) from that situation and that you came out with deep friendships with some of you coworkers.
    I can honestly say that you are one of the reasons that I didn't had a melt down about one year ago. You and my husband saved me. I escaped a toxic workplace little over a year ago. It was so bad that I came home and cried in the shower and one time looked in to the possibility to jump of a building. When I in the end realized that the bad situation affected my family and especially my children I decided to take the leap and quit my work without really having any plans for what to do next. It went well. I.m in a better place now, but I still have issues with it and recently I have come to realize that it is up to me to accept and too forgive, to be able to move forward.
    I love to watch your videos it helps me to ground my self and I love to see all your trips to different parts of Korea. You make me see and realize that everyday you can find small miracle. Thank you so much.

  • @markturner1970
    @markturner1970 2 года назад +8

    All of this just makes me so glad that I've got a stress free job that I mostly still enjoy, just driving around London delivering groceries.
    And Cari those experiences made you the person you are today and its good to see you looking back and being able to laugh about it.

  • @canned_bread_
    @canned_bread_ 2 года назад +13

    Cari I am so sorry this happened to you. I was crying along with you in this video. Something very similar happened to me last year and made me quit my job in September. I'm glad that both of us made it through the darkness. Thank you for talking about this because I know how hard it had to be. I hope others can learn from this 💜

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +3

      very glad we're both on the other side!

  • @SoraHachi99
    @SoraHachi99 2 года назад +4

    I sometimes just can’t fucking understand how some people are so toxic and don’t even realize it.. The situations you were in were absolutely horrible and I feel sorry that you had to went through that shit, but I’m so glad that you got out of this situation! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and it will totally be a good reminder to look for these red flags when I will graduate and work 🥺❤️

  • @geraldine1875
    @geraldine1875 2 года назад +51

    Just had a flashback of a job I was at in my 20s…how many companies/people take advantage of young 20 ish workers. It’s so good that you recount your experience so other know this isn’t acceptable! I swore to myself once I left that I would never let anyone talk down to me ever again. Better companies exist. Thanks for posting! 👍👍

  • @a.morujo6073
    @a.morujo6073 2 года назад +69

    Thank you so much for telling your experience!! It's important to talk about these things so that people realize it's not okay, that they're not alone and maybe help them get out of it sooner! I hope you're doing well now

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +19

      thank you! especially in the start up world that hires a lot of young people without work experience and tells them things are happening "because we're a start up" - people need to know certain things are never okay!!

  • @phillipepps
    @phillipepps 2 года назад +26

    You are being so extraordinarily brave with this sensitive ‘insider’ subject matter (I wonder if I know what company you worked for) and coincidentally I’ve recently wanted you to consider discussing more serious issues about the history and maybe even the darker sides of Seoul so I really applaud your new approach. Thank you being so candid and I learned a lot even though I have experienced similar corporate craziness in East Asia over the years.

  • @sarahmcfalls1098
    @sarahmcfalls1098 2 года назад +99

    You motivated me to leave my toxic work environment! I’m literally walking out on them tomorrow. It has been he🏒🏒 and I could only last 2.5 months

  • @faithmo5347
    @faithmo5347 2 года назад +5

    thank you for sharing this Cari! I cried with you during some parts of this video and you absolutely did not deserve any of the shit you've gone through. I'm so glad you are finally in a better situation now!

  • @soniaoloo6985
    @soniaoloo6985 2 года назад +4

    Also you're very strong for seeing it through and pulling yourself out of that situation :) it's very brave of you to share this story and I think you're really helping someone out there that may be going through a depressive stage

  • @bribbri3697
    @bribbri3697 2 года назад +5

    This was an absolute emotional rollercoaster. I felt like I was there with you going through these hardships, I don't cry easily but was literally at the brink of tears constantly throughout the video. I'm honestly so proud of you that you've reached a point where you can look back and share this story from a place of such maturity and wisdom. Thank you so much for opening up to us about your experiences, coming from a soon to be college grad, there is truly a lot to be learned from this.

  • @juliagorska2095
    @juliagorska2095 2 года назад +20

    thank you so much cari for sharing this with us, sending much love

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +5

      ❤️❤️❤️

  • @CementFrosting
    @CementFrosting 2 года назад +12

    sis i cried my eyes out with you. i can NOT imagine how you felt, the situation feels like a fucking toxic limbo I'm sorry you've gone through this cari sending love and hugs,, as a new baby graduate i feel like i learned something from your story, thank you so so much bestie

  • @YY-tr1pb
    @YY-tr1pb 2 года назад +3

    I LOVED this long video, feels like a chat with a friend and could even be listened to while doing some chores hahaha

  • @lunaloren3489
    @lunaloren3489 2 года назад +3

    This breaks my heart that you went through this. Your strength through this whole situation is so amazing. Thank you for sharing your story with us ❤

  • @themxwithme610
    @themxwithme610 2 года назад +6

    Thank you so much for talking about this - it was a heartbreaking watch but I learned so much from it. It’s so hard to recognise employment-related red flags when you really want that career or to start somewhere new (especially when management hide their true colours!). I’m so happy you got out of this situation and I hope you are happy with where you are now. You’re amazing and your videos make me have hope❤️

  • @lindyyunhsuanwu8597
    @lindyyunhsuanwu8597 Год назад +1

    Thank you for sharing all these situations bravely. I can't imagine how frightened and trapped you were. My situation was kind of similar but not as scary as yours. Am so glad that you are no longer there and still get in touch with good people from the company. Bless your life in the future!

  • @glitterritala.perrita4283
    @glitterritala.perrita4283 2 года назад +12

    I also think that one lesson to learn is that sometimes we want something so bad (in your case staying in korea) and we close ourselves to thing that the situation we are in is the only way to get our dreams. sometimes life finds a way without making us struggle, is not worth it when you look back. But obviously we are young and naive and sadly a lot of us have to learn throughout this experiences to grow. It most been such a difficult time for you carrie i am so sorry that happen to you. I hope that your healing process continues, and you continue to find spaces where ou thrive not only professionally but also mentally. ✨ 💕

    • @ALEX-se8yt
      @ALEX-se8yt 2 года назад

      you mean staying in korea was bad for Cari? why do you think so?

    • @ALEX-se8yt
      @ALEX-se8yt 2 года назад +1

      Did you have any bad expericeces any koreans got you to go through?? Why do you think staying in korea is a bad thing for Cari??

    • @glitterritala.perrita4283
      @glitterritala.perrita4283 2 года назад +3

      @@ALEX-se8yt 🥴 i never said that staying in korea is a bad things for cari i was saying that like she mentioned she didnt quit because she need it her visa. I am saying sometimes we stay in places that are awful for us but we push for our dreams. I was clearly talking about THE JOB not korea.

    • @ALEX-se8yt
      @ALEX-se8yt 2 года назад +1

      Ok. Thanks for your kind reply.
      I seems i misunderstood what you are trying to say. Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.

    • @glitterritala.perrita4283
      @glitterritala.perrita4283 2 года назад +1

      @@ALEX-se8yt dont worry, english is not my first language so maybe i didnt express myself correctly the first time :)

  • @quainttae908
    @quainttae908 2 года назад +2

    I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you and I believe it takes so much to be able to talk to us about this now. I'm glad you took all the time you needed. We're here for you always! Sending lots of love ❤️❤️

  • @kathleenschmidt2143
    @kathleenschmidt2143 2 года назад +15

    I really needed this video right now. At my current job I’m experiencing a lot of of things you described and how you framed this feels like a wake up call. I’m giving so much of myself for what? You made it through and so will I! Thanks for the words of advice Cari!

  • @elagatho
    @elagatho Год назад

    thank you so much for this video. what happened to you is horrible, i just wanted to give you a big hug throughout. thank you for bringing awareness to these issues and how damaging a toxic work environment can be. appreciate your videos, take care

  • @nomkakaii
    @nomkakaii 2 года назад +3

    Hi Cari! I've been on your channel for quite a few years and I had no idea that you were going through this. I am so sorry for what happened with your workplace and I am also so incredibly grateful to you for making this video. I'm a freshman in college and I know for a fact that I'm already thinking about my work life in the future and in some ways, I'm romanticising the idea of it as well but you've really highlighted to me that work is really not all fun and play sometimes! Thank you for sharing your story even though it was a very hard topic to bring up again. Thank you for bringing awareness to toxic workplaces (which honestly, doesn't get mentioned enough).

  • @SeahorseShimmer
    @SeahorseShimmer Год назад +1

    You are so real for this. My first full-time job out of college was at an NGO and yeah. No job is worth your mental health. Glad you are doing so much better now.

  • @__nicoleerin
    @__nicoleerin 2 года назад +3

    cari i think it's so great that you posted this video - both for you and others. i'm sure there will be people watching and this video will give them the strength to stand up for themselves if they find themselves in a similar situation! i'm so sorry for all you went through, but it's amazing seeing how you came out the other end and are such a positive force on this platform despite all the negative shit you had to deal with

  • @linkookie4723
    @linkookie4723 Год назад +3

    I felt this. I recently leave my 5 year job in a big company due horrible management. I left and nothing changed. A job shouldn't take over your life at the end you're easy replaceable and they don't care. I am happy now, thriving, learning, my mental health has never been better.

  • @luanagonzalez5441
    @luanagonzalez5441 2 года назад +38

    Hi cari! I am so sorry for what you have been through :( but thank u so much for sharing this with us, hope that you are doing well, you are so strong and brave, sending tons of love ❤️❤️❤️

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +6

      thank you so much ❤️

  • @YesItsJess
    @YesItsJess 2 года назад +3

    Thanks for sharing Cari. I also had a toxic job at the beginning of my career. I’m also working through the impact it had on me, but I hope that recognising red flags will be something we can all talk more about. Leaving bad situations is so hard but once you do it, you realise you have power to walk out and that the world will not end. Everyone deserves a safe job. It makes me so mad that not everyone can choose to leave an unsafe one.

  • @FalafelSam
    @FalafelSam 2 года назад +15

    People that try to divide the workplace and pit the team against each other for their own benefit are the absolute worst. It seems like you were up against so much and didn't have anywhere to retreat and recover, physically or mentally, which is enough to drive anyone over the edge. Glad you found better pastures and can finally put it all behind you. Thanks for trusting us enough to share

  • @sarahTVBOX
    @sarahTVBOX 11 месяцев назад +2

    i saw this video 2 years late, but as someone who's learning korean and hopes to one day live and work there (even tho i'm 35 and can be concidered "too old" to relocate and start over), i thought the toxicity will be from the korean co-workers (from the horror stories i've heard) but to have it from the US team? and the way chad was behaving? i hope he suffers greatly for the rest of his life for what he did to you... i am so sorry this happened to you cari, and i hope you never experience such toxicity and torment ever again 💟

  • @CarliBABE16
    @CarliBABE16 2 года назад +17

    It’s so crazy what management can get away with. I’m so sorry that all that crap happened to you, nobody deserves to work in a place like that. I hate that this was your first big job out of college, that’s so disheartening. But look at you now! You bring so much joy to people all over the world and you’re your own boss! You are one strong woman 💙

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +3

      thank you always :') working in korea really toughens you up quick lol

    • @CarliBABE16
      @CarliBABE16 2 года назад

      @@caricakes lol yesssss girl, it sure does!

  • @karahernandez2687
    @karahernandez2687 2 года назад +8

    I’m sorry this happened to you. I am glad you can speak on it now and move forward. In my very early 20s I can a similar experience with work. The most toxic person was the Director and Owner so there wasn’t anyone to go to above her. I lasted there about 2 years before I finally quit. My husband noticed how toxic it was and how it affected me so much everyday I came home. The worst part was when I gave my two week notice, she would have let me go that day but she didn’t have anyone to fill my position, but she made those last two weeks hell.

  • @queenofgoats
    @queenofgoats 2 года назад +1

    You're so brave Cari. It's so horrible that you or anyone in a similar situation had to helplessly go through such a toxic time. I'm happy for you that you're in a better and safer place. Thanks for sharing, hopefully, some people going through this will get the courage to break away from such a situation.

  • @Gint04re
    @Gint04re 2 года назад +3

    Oh my goodness. I went through quite a ride watching this video. I may not have gone through all the experiences you had gone through, but I literally could relate and feel those emotions you were having. I was sobbing every time you cried and all I wanted to do was give you the biggest hug ever. I am so sorry you went through something so toxic for so long and I am so so so happy that you're in a different light, that you're thriving and able to show us what a ball of sunshine you really are.
    It's so important for businesses to create a healthy workspace for their employees because you spend most of your time there and it's so easy to get caught up in toxic environments without realising you're involved. It's even so much harder to get out of it once you realise it because you're consumed by so much negativity. I am so grateful for the three roomie friends that helped you because I absolutely adore you and live to see the videos that you create because they truly make my day.
    I am so glad you don't have to think about this anymore, that you have been able to share your story and share your experiences as hard as it may have been to help others realise that they may be in the same situation and either need help or to get out.
    💛

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +1

      thank you always! bad work experiences are so scary because leaving means putting yourself in vulnerable positions financially and losing any sense of stability when your world is already a mess is terrifying. really hoping neither of us experience something like this every again

  • @Angela41541
    @Angela41541 Год назад +1

    i know this is not the same, but i had a very tough time at university around like 2016-ish. and this just made me cry so much, when you were talking about scdl ideation and depressive episodes. the way that i couldn't even breathe, let alone eat. scariest time of my life. and throughout your whole video i just felt so much like i wanted to give you a hug because it takes a lot of strength to talk about times and situation like that and i was choking up right along side with you and i am just so happy that you are safe and happy now

  • @seeyoucu
    @seeyoucu 2 года назад +4

    What a story. I'm glad that you made it out!

  • @thirdyako
    @thirdyako 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing. I felt bad that you went though that. That's just unfortunate and could be traumatic. I am happy that you were able to, somewhat, release that negativity out from your system with this vlog. I really hope you are in a much better state now. We are here supporting you, not physically there for you, but in spirit. Fighting!!!

  • @araverse
    @araverse 2 года назад +7

    I can't thank you enough for sharing this. Some similar stuff happened with me in 2015 and again in 2019 with "start up culture" related job in Korea. I walked out in a second when I was treated poorly knowing I had no new job waiting for me. I could have done things differently. From the 2019 job, the Korean boss of my non-Korean manager, later reached out and apologised to me cuz they fired him for embezzlement and fraud. My only regret is that I should have reached out to my Korean boss, but the Chad in my case made sure I don't communicate with anyone else. Alteast these experiences taught me to not settle for easy start up money and actually prioritise quality work and decent work ethics.
    I felt the pain in your story, and I know it wasn't easy for you. Sending you love

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +4

      im so sorry you were in that situation! korean start up culture is the absolute worst.

  • @abigailleung6916
    @abigailleung6916 2 года назад +1

    thank you for your courage for telling us your story - i can't begin to imagine how hard filming this can be. I've been through some toxic workplace behavior myself. very happy you're in a much better place now and making amazing content for the world to enjoy

  • @ambermeridy7550
    @ambermeridy7550 2 года назад +3

    Just randomly came across your channel. Thanks for sharing your story and mustering the strength to speak on toxic work environments. Hoping you are doing much better now💕

  • @SuperAnalaloca
    @SuperAnalaloca 3 месяца назад

    I'm so sorry you had to endure all of this. I hope you can read this although it's so much time after. This year was one of the worst of my life, and a big amount of the emotional weight was because a horrible expierence at work. I found your booktube channel and not only you have inspired me to read again, but you have been a literally ray of sunshine with your evident awesom personality and tenderness. I've been feeling really acompanied by you, even if you don't know it. So I have a lot of love for what you do and represent. Thank you Cari. ❤

  • @sugarapplesweet
    @sugarapplesweet 2 года назад +999

    I just want to tell you: NONE OF THIS WAS PETTY. You were wronged in so many ways- professionally, emotionally, and mentally. And physically! F*ck the higher ups for not having their people's backs.
    Do not blame yourself. 💖

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +68

      thanks and yeah, when my hr manager joined the company it was shocking to have someone actually caring

    • @RSkies
      @RSkies 2 года назад +12

      Was going to post literally the SAME THING! NONE of this was petty, and Cari, you have ZERO to apologize for!

  • @aunifarsha5368
    @aunifarsha5368 2 года назад

    one of my favourites on your videos list, this is EXPENSIVE! glad you're in better and happier condition now.

  • @selmandem
    @selmandem 2 года назад +15

    "Get yourself an opinion out of your bubble" was a really good advice!

  • @DeaBeanTattoos
    @DeaBeanTattoos 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm so glad you're thriving now and was able to put your needs first, rather than suffer at a toxic workplace. You deserve it.

  • @anitaoele2828
    @anitaoele2828 2 года назад +5

    Thank you for speaking about this Cari. This is so important, especially how you don't notice the tiny details day by day, until you're in such a mental place.
    I remember getting asked for a job I was really passionate about, which sounded like the biggest dream but turned out to be the opposite for me. My friends would tell me how jealous they were of me for having such an amazing job, while I was actually working twice the hours they paid me for (which wasn't a nice sum in the first place).
    Like at some point I could only work and cry after. Getting panics before every small social gathering and texting my friends without explanation that I couldn't make it. And when I would speak about how I couldn't handle a 60 hour week, the management just told me that I "should've done a better job with time-management".
    If I would've seen a doctor by then they probably would have recommended me professional help right away. But now I just know that this probably was a dream job to many - it just wasn't for me. And that's okay too. 💜

  • @bluejins
    @bluejins 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for being vulnerable and share your story with us. I'm a fresh graduate myself and I learned so much from your story. Hope we can have a job in where we feel safe and thrive. Much love!💛

  • @telescopedreams
    @telescopedreams 2 года назад +7

    I recently did a 'competitive' remote internship with a Korean startup. I was dismissed with nothing but positive feedback after a month, and I still can't tell you what I did wrong but I can say, start up culture is CRAZY CRAZY toxic. I'd do a meeting at 3am, try to sleep for 2-3 hours, get up and work work work until 5-6 to eat dinner, and then probably work some more. I was put in control of projects just to have it all ripped away with no feedback, and like you, did a lot of crying although for different reasons. The stress they put people under is insane and I'm really sorry you went through all of this. Glad you got out of there.

  • @ellieb5822
    @ellieb5822 2 года назад +1

    Your bravery in sharing this is wonderful. Glad you're safe now and made it through that dark time.

  • @deadoralivecowboy1401
    @deadoralivecowboy1401 2 года назад +30

    I am glad you are doing much better :)
    Every week you bring our lives joy and happiness with your videos , I hope that making this video will give you the more peace in your life when needed. Take care and stay safe carry 💕

    • @caricakes
      @caricakes  2 года назад +3

      thank you so much :')

  • @aluralonelyhunter
    @aluralonelyhunter 2 года назад +2

    This was a very sad story. No one should be treated like that. Thanks for sharing your story, Cari. Send you lots of love

  • @stephaniegalovic113
    @stephaniegalovic113 2 года назад +3

    Thank you for sharing Cari💕as someone who is still in uni this was educational, and I am so sorry you had to go through this but also so very proud that you did. You have done so well. And I hope you continue to heal from this even more💕 kick ass Cari you are doing great.

  • @suniva2875
    @suniva2875 2 года назад +1

    I am glad you recovered. And I am relieved that, you are leading a very healthy and happy life. Much love, stay safe💕

  • @rockm4d
    @rockm4d 2 года назад +20

    as someone who went to the main office to quit while crying because i really loved my job but my manager was the shittiest person, i thank you for sharing your experience, there aren’t many people that talk about it and it’s really important to know that you’re not alone, that you matter and that no job is more important than yourself; i’m glad you’re in a way better place as i’m glad that i’m in a better place myself, as i’ve said before and it’s kinda cliche, it always gets better (even if you have to work a little longer than others), so thank you again for showing that. Hope you have a great week :)

  • @CrankingMyReading
    @CrankingMyReading 2 года назад +1

    I’m thankful that you made this video.

  • @yelenskareads
    @yelenskareads 2 года назад +4

    Towards the end, it made me really emotional to hear all of this. So upset this happened to you, and still happens to other people. Nobody deserves this. I just want to hug you! 🥺💗💐

  • @annak9860
    @annak9860 Год назад

    Hi Cari! I just want to say thank you. Your videos helped me get out of a reading slump and love books again. Nobody deserves to go through any of what you did and I hope you’re doing ok now. Sending love and positive vibes 💗

  • @ucla0475
    @ucla0475 2 года назад +11

    We all have the worst nightmare on managers especially when we are treated like a robot/machine instead of human being. I'm glad you survived and also left that company. At the end, your self-dignity worth a lot more than anything. Wish you happiness.