James Acaster On The Absurdity Of The British Empire
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- Опубликовано: 11 ноя 2019
- The hilarious James Acaster takes centre stage with his stand up special about 'Old Blighty' and how we still showcase the property we stole from other countries in glass boxes in museums.
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#Comedy #JamesAcaster 
Развлечения
you fools, he doesn't HAVE a colour scheme, he IS THE colour scheme
In the early 19th century the Ashanti wiped out a small British force in modern Ghana and made the Governor and his deputies skulls into gold mounted drinking cups. Now those are really tasteful ornaments to show and use for that special guest.
@@freebeerfordworkers my dad was from Ghana. I don’t know why that’s relevant it’s just Ghana never gets brought up so I got excited.
99.96% chance he’s waring mustard coloured boxers
More like he is the scheme
Make it .99@@wearethechange128
I remember visiting the Acropolis museum in Greece and every set of objects was missing a piece and the answer to the question “where is it?” was always “at the British Museum.”
Good job really otherwise the answer would have been where is it? "Smashed to pieces and lost."
@@dominicomucci3014 Well, no... The answer would probably be "at the Acropolis museum in Greece"
@@user-yg4tr5fp3s no it would have been. It's smashed to bits. Or it's in someone's private collection where no one can see it.
Jolly Infidel No they didn’t... most Greek artefacts we have were looted during a war with the Ottomans
@@dominicomucci3014 absolute nonsense. I've been to both the British Museum and the Acropolis Museum, the half of the Parthenon Marbles in the Acropolis Museum are exactly as well preserved as the half that was stolen and placed in the British Museum - with the added bonus that the ones in Greece are in a glass-walled room overlooking the Acropolis itself, their original context. You're talking shite.
My favourite exhibit in the British Museum is a greek statue missing its head with a plaque next to it angrily complaining about a Danish captain who "stole" it without a hint of irony or self awareness. You can find the head in the Danish National Museum and its plaque just says that the rest of the statue is in the British Museum.
Hey do you have any links? I can feel a YT short coming on....
Incroyable
@@LandyVlad_Rides What like a link to it's physical location?
@@hedgehog3180 A link to the story
lmao
"The secret ingredient is crime."
😂😂
chance would be a fine thing
@@tillerman7272 a fine thing indeed !
Futurama?
@@Dob_OgurtPeep Show
UK is the largest supplier of Independence days in the world.
We came ,we saw ,we conquered and gave back
And you got a holiday.
You’re welcome 😂
They created the demand also😂
Guess America isnt the best in freedom
@@deejin25 someone missed history classes. You have to be American with that confused view of ww2 and the post events. 🤣😂
@@deejin25 im guessing you are American- conveniently forgot that the US was too chicken shit to join the war in the first place!
My dude really color coordinated his entire wardrobe to compliment his hair. Respect.
And that background
Ginja Ninjaaa fuck off!!!!
Does that translate????
It’s the color of every Brits soul
It was a 4 part Netflix stand up special, each was colour coordinated to his 4 emotions.
Colour *
I've got a British Museum joke but it was stolen.
Well played.
LMAOOO I SEE WHAT U DID THERE
Hahaha maybe you should check British museum 😂
old and dusty as the artefacts.
@@ukbloke28 Say what you will about the British Museum, I've never seen a spot of dust anywhere.
In india.. a lot of ancient forts have missing things like a wall with cavities that are supposed to be filled with gemstones , a golden throne or a famous crown.. good to see a British person acknowledge these things
Didn't the Mughal empire steel the whole country?
It's like serial killers keeping jewelry of their victims. Sickening.
Like the Mughals never conquered anything. How
@@kraai98 not all can be stolen unless you know what happened at the time
@@michaelplunkett8059 mughals conquered and ruled india from india. they didn't steal the stuff and then nope out. what they did can be called destruction of stuff at best, which the british did in addition to stealing anyway.
also, even if the mughals stole, that wouldn't have given the right to steal to the british. two wrongs don't make a right. just because someone else is doing a crime doesn't mean you should do it too.
"I don't fink so; We're still looking at it." Britain
That one got my heartiest guffaw.
You made a typo
"Oi daw't fink sow, weh stiw lookin' a' i'."
Kristoff Cain I guess your American
@@carterishere3851 I believe that you're right. You're a good guesser and you're a keen observer of your environment. You're nobody's fool, and you're sure getting your licks in as well. That's why it's too bad that your grammar isn't your strong suit, but maybe English isn't your first language.
UnYin99 Is there a point? , communication is about making a point and making someone understand what i or a individual is saying also I’m not going to write a deep inspirational paragraph about my thoughts of a person ethnicity when I could just say a sentence.
When a comment section is full of these typos or grammar mistakes but they just want to state there point and a reason, not everyone is going to be better or on the same level of you.
Britain: So you want to take from me what I have rightfully stolen?
@Anglus Patria well to be fair you could have NOT invaded other places in the first place.
Inconceivable!
***ENGLAND!!!!! NOT Britain. The Scottish and Welsh are nothing like the English. We hate them as much as everybody else does!!!
@@finlaymackenzie6678 Dude, stop the hate. You only speak for yourself. I'm Welsh, I don't hate the English. Why would I hate an entire nation of people? I've only met some of them. If you must hate, hate specific people based on their own deeds and actions. For what it's worth I know Scots who are married to English people, so not all Scots hate the English either.
@@donkmeister I mean most Irish like me hate the english with every fibre of our being, we have the right to though lol
"We're still looking at it!" had me cackling.
"We're still looking at it"...brilliant.
Indiana Jones: That belongs in a museum!
Confused indigenous person: Or it can just go back in my house
Yeah he's a grave robber
Vincent Gonzalez lol why are you so triggered it’s not our fault the English are colonisers fuck off you triggered Tory
@@seanderoiste4661 ?
@@seanderoiste4661 Speaking of triggered...
Aksel Evensen ye English have too much pride for yourselves it’s hilarious taking the piss out of ye is easy ye are all so sensitive
why am i so attracted to this tired mustard alien man
Me too😂💞👍
100% same
Humor
😂
Caragh Pollard wut? the man could lowkey be a runway model
I love at :17 when he bends over the stool then looks behind him to make sure the coast is clear before saying "and we got all the swank didn't we?"
Swag
As an Indian, I literally just read the title and before it even started playing I'd already liked it and after watching the whole thing I gotta say, it wasn't a wrong move on my part.
Are you a descendent of a Mughal war lord or the people they subjugated?
@@fortuitousthings8606 no, you see. The Indians were a benign, peaceful people, their wealth being obtained not through any morally objectionable means.
Then, the white man came to the subcontinent and introduced warfare to a race who before this would not hurt a fly. Indians never conquered anyone - they dealt with each other as civilized beings, the artifacts and wealth they possessed having sprouted from the ground some generations before.
@@fortuitousthings8606 Proud Hindus (the original community of India) unlike the other invaders!
If it wasn’t for Britain your nation wouldn’t even exist, and now you’re upset about them taking some trinkets, at a time where empire building was accepted? Before Britain came you used to burn widows alive. Even your own intelligentsia would call Britain’s civilising rule the “knife of sugar”
@@connordrew2634 Because if a family is a right chavvy asbo sort, that means it's perfectly acceptable to steal their possessions, starve half of them to death on purpose, kill a couple for kicking off about it, and then use their prized possessions as ornamental headgear to remember the good old times when you could get away with that sort of thing a bit easier.
Most of those artefacts we stole which they so dearly want back were created hundreds if not thousands of years before we got there. If anyone was mistreated in the gaining of the vast majority of them, it was Indian workers throughout history, historical Indian nations who other historical Indian nations took them from. They aren't some mysterious relics that appeared in the middle of unknown territory only for India to unfairly claim them as its own through pillaging some innocent, nameless but definitely-not-Indian strawmen. This isn't a "we don't know who owned them originally, India stole them and then we stole them off India". We know they originated in India, and even if we didn't, it's not like we're nobly repatriating them to their original owners elsewhere. We know we fucking knicked them, we don't even deny it. We know we don't have any real justification for keeping them other than "we like that we get tourism money off them and it makes us feel like an Empire all over again to flaunt them and know you can't make us give them back". Closest to a valid excuse we have is "if we give YOU your stuff back then we have to give EVERYONE their stuff back, and we really don't want to"
We didn’t steal it, we borrowed it...
Without asking...
Or the intent to give it back...
Also, British law prevents museums from returning artifacts.
@Unkwon Malaysian Guy yep nothing like gunboat diplomacy
Burrowed Sounds too much Like consent. Thats Not british
*borrowed, "burrowed" is to put it in a hole in the ground
@Tresorthas The irony is that I actually spelt it as borrowed first then thought “Nah that looks wrong it’s probably burrowed”
This Weasley is far funnier than the other ones.
I agree
@@kikithewitch3666 I don't.
@@swathi3687 coolio.
In deed
Don't insult the twins please.
I'd love to see presidents from all over the world just walk in with a bag and take it back.
"Oh you're going to call the police? good, I'd like to report a theft"
And they have immunity , so they really could do it.....
@@martinnijs8317 pitty some of the stuff doesn't reaaaaally fit in a bag...
@@masterxyr nah you’ve just got small bags
This now is one of my favourite skits. Well observed. Well done.
I basically have it memorized I rewatch it so often
I hope you've seen the whole performance. The bit about British Museum erasers (rubbers) almost broke my brain. I didn't know whether to laugh at the joke, or cry at how beautifully the joke was constructed.
"The sun doesn't set in the British empire because even god doesn't trust the British in the dark" -
😭😭😂 that was a good one
Snow TFL it’s not a joke😔
Quoting Dr. Shashi Tharoor from his debate speech at Oxford Union, eh?
@@jamesdashper1316, imagine someone who is a Brit and has made an entire comedy routine on the subject of worldwide economy changing theft, murder, and rapine by his own people, and someone of potentially any culture, including Brit, injects a comment about the same subject and immediately discovers butthurt.
Also, funny how the word Brit, as used by some, totally ignores the fact that the label Brit also includes all of the minorities living in Britain.
Naturally, those who live outside of Britain are able to discern a bit more quickly than many living inside, that the population called "Brit" is actually itself a small minority in the population of the world.
@James Dashper being British isn’t a race it’s a nationality millions of different ethic groups live in the UK assuming they’re all white is kinda idiotic.
Is no one addressing the fact that his hair matches his shirt that matches his trousers that match the curtains in the back that all compliment his microphone!!
Yeah about 3 other people
it's a nightmare in mustard and I love it.
Tyler Durden I reckon that was his intention
Yeah no shit
this looks like a thousand shades of shit
Interesting that this should pop up in my recommended since we (Sámi peoples) are currently trying to get a drum that is currently in a Danish museum. It was "confiscated" from a shaman in 1692 that they conveniently also murdered with an axe.
Is there anything we can do to help? a petition or a way to get more awareness?
@@sarsok659 Not that I'm aware of. Supposedly the museum has already agreed, but it's up to the ministry of culture to decide on whether we get it or not.
Reminds me of the aboriginal man they decapitated and stole his head.
Did he use the drum to place magic spells on the Danish gentlemen? Because I could see them getting rather pissy about that sort of thing. Maybe they murdered him for some other reason, like he was talking shit about Denmark or something, and afterwards they noticed the drum lying next to the dude’s tent and one of them thought ”that’d make a good souvenir for my kid, who collects stuff that his daddy robbed from ancient cultures during his travels.” Then the kid died of some curse that had been placed on the drum just in case the wrong person got their hands on it, and they put the drum in a museum so that nobody else would pick up the ancient Sami curse. And Denmark are still angry about the curse, so they are keeping the drum just to spite the Sami people, who they blame for turning the Danish language into drunk-sounding gibberish and stealing the top piece of bread from all their sandwiches. It’s probably a logical explanation like that.
Where did he get the drum from?
Hardcore comedy fan for 50+ years, and this is truly gold.
Thanx James.
Same here... well, almost 50 years. You see a lot of talented comedians, and a lot of talented story tellers. Making this a 4-part series on Netflix allowed James to show he is both a great story-teller and a great comedian. Makes callbacks and interweaves common threads throughout.
British Museum is the world's biggest crime scene
- John Oliver
John Oliver is one of the biggest crimes to comedy
@@DamnedDave agreed.
@@DamnedDave really? I know he's not that good, but there are more famous but much less funnier than him.
@@spartand001 Fuck off, it's all true about the museum
@Jack Smith What part is inaccurate?
This reminds me there's this roman site here in southern Spain in which you can find a whole roman mosai perfectly conserved except for a perfect circle in which there should be the face of a medusa. In its place there's concrete.
In the USA, the Smithsonian IIRC, has the mosaic of the face of a medusa in a perfectly round circle, sitting next to a plaque saying it was "found in Spain" as if they hadn't come here, carved it out of the full piece and then plastered it out with concrete.
Imagine doing that to the Gioconda. All of her except the left eye is on the Louvre, and where the left eye should be there's only tape. Then at the other side of the world, you find a museum in California with a piece of parchment and an eye on it, a plaque next to it saying "Eye of a lady. Found in France"
On the other hand, we have a whole Egyptian temple here in Madrid that was taken stone by stone from the site and then assembled whole back again here...
But hey, we kept all of the temple instead of taking a column or something
I honestly can't decide which one is worse, if taking the whole thing or just breaking a tiny bit so that the rest stays on place and you only get to show a tiny "souvenir" you got
@Thelondonbadger So you thought it necessary to lecture Spanish people on our history in a completely unrelated discussion?
@@Luischocolatier Which site in the south is this? Sounds interesting!
The “understanding words” to “laughing” ratio in this clip is superb
“Not right now selfish” gets me every time
The British said Your not getting it back but you can have a miniature version at the gift shop when you finish staring at it 😂😂😂
Aye, for 10 pounds per square inch
LOL
@@spiritusIRATUS that's highway robbery...on us! We could easily mark up the price to 20 pounds and get the same demand!
You can't have it, you can *buy* it
"This statue of our king is very, very important to my culture."
"Well then, for just a tenner you can get an inexact 1/25th scale model of it as a novelty pencil topper, or even a gonk!"
So a British Museum in overly simplified terms would be considered an empire's scrapbook.
Yeah, pretty much.
More like their loot storage, to be honest...
Or.............the biggest crime scene in the world :)
@@malahammer It could easily be both and cannot be neither.
A scrapbook but all the scraps have been torn off of other people’s family pictures
Boy one of ours isn't even at the museum, it's on the Queen's crown 😂 yep we r on a whole another level, if u don't get it, I mean the Ruby on the Queen's crown is from Myanmar (Burma)
the kohinoor diamond for me though
@@shairafaiza7261 Ownership of the Koh-i-Noor was signed over to the East India Company by Tej Singh, as part of the Last Treaty of Lahore, then gifted to Queen Victoria. Prior to that it had changed hands many times through war and as a gift. Until someone takes it or it's given as a gift by the British government, it's with its rightful owners
@@Fidgottio yeah it was singned over to the east India Company because they wanted it. Because the kings had no power and the British had hegemony over all the actions of the king. King tej singh was made to sign it by the empire. They robbed people taking lagaan from them each year even if there were no crops. The kings if they wanted to remain in power had to do what they were ordered to. If the east India Company didn't take over our entire nation and made us our slaves and stayed the hell away from us we wouldn't have to give them anything. Nothing they took from us during colonial times belongs to them. Something that is given under force is not given "rightfully" It is called snatching. If I came in your home, said you were my slave from today, stole everything you have and asked you to work for me and to get me off your back you gave me your family heirloom... I wouldn't by any means consider it rightfully given.
@@Fidgottio And in 1849, after imprisoning Jindan, the British forced Duleep to sign a legal document amending the Treaty of Lahore, that required Duleep to give away the Koh-i-Noor and all claim to sovereignty. The boy was only 10 years old. Still think it was rightfully taken?
Lol, forced or coerced 'gifts' to the Queen, are just signed for stolen packages.
As a Greek person, thank you
@Soulja Ian They pike to pretend Britain stole their artifacts when Britain actually bought them off the Ottomans because the Ottomans had planned to destroy them.
@@404Dannyboy Why hadn't Elgin (the "defender" of art and Marbles of Parthenon) bought all the Parthenon Marbles from the Ottomans while they planned to destroy them? Did also the Greeks pay the Ottomans not to destroy the rest Marbles of the Parthenon and for this reason they left to Greece what Elgin left then after he cut those artifacts in parts and transported to England?
@Dan Seddon Please, it is a pity, for a country like the United Kingdom, to allow this injustice to exist with the Parthenon Marbles that Lord Elgin forcibly removed from the whole building because he was given the opportunity due to the Ottoman occupation then, only to earn yesterday / today money from their exploitation. It would be good to realize that for the Greeks it is their breath, their roots, their history and every concept related to democracy, philosophy and the contribution of the Greeks to the creation of western civilization. It would be very kind of the United Kingdom to return the marbles of the Parthenon, to reunite the expatriate Caryatids with the sisters, a beautiful image for the whole universe to see the Parthenon in its entirety.
Only James can make it look cool to blend into the background
S Wright he/she doesn't seem triggered to me, just not very fond of the military
Everyone's here talking about camouflage and I'm here like "Omg is that James Marriott?"
@@flops_01 James is the superior name clearly.
Brooklynae yep
@paula cool as fuck 😎
The British took an Indigenous man's head (they killed him) in 1833 and wouldn't give it back to his family until about 2010.
Not even a cool heirloom. A literal part of a corpse. Finders keepers, you can't have your granddads head back.
Yep, just last month they returned some remains of Sri Lankan vedda people, our indigenous people. Was grossed out to learn that they had them at a museum
KonomexPlays. Where is that? What indigenous?
@@bobjonn9182 Australian. His name was Yagan. I met his great grandchild.
@@konomexplays oh interesting story 'Yagan' was a warrior and part of the resistance against the British.
Also was wanted for murder & theft. Escaped capture.
Was classed as a man of high degree under tribal law.
Ha! Yeah - that was a good one!
Even his mic is the right colour.
This is possibly his best bit he'll come up with. Absolutely fantastic.
“Never before I’ve been so offended by something I 100% agree with”
I think it's completely tenable to be critical of colonialism while tolerating what's happening these days. The former was coercive and ethically/economically disastrous, while the latter is the opposite for the most part...
@Jack Tyrrell Globalism is a result of a capitalism trying to erase national boundaries. And you are right that capitalism does cause immigration because people want to move to where they can have a better life. Marx warned that it would. The capitalist will either import cheap labour or export capital to parts where there is cheap labour.
But that isn't the same as colonialism: "the policy or practice of acquiring full or partial political control over another country, occupying it with settlers, and exploiting it economically."
Economic migrants who enter a country are not taking control over that country; they become part of it by contributing to it. By doing this they aren't in any way erasing the borders that make up nations. Nations can continue to trade amongst each other. It is a false equivalence to say economic migrants are colonists.
It is transnational corporations that are creating Globalism. They pay off politicians who act against national interests by instituting trading treaties that force nations to lower their standards. International trade is predicated upon the nation, it's right there in the name.
If you are for the nation refusing to kow-tow to the corporations who would usurp their sovereignty I'm with you. But that isn't done by attacking migrants who strengthen nations by supporting them in taxes they pay, and in services they provide.
@Jack Tyrrell Jack, moving somewhere new and working there is hardly the same thing as invading with an army and pillaging, is it now?
UNATCO recruitment ain't what it once was..... snowflake now.
@Jack Tyrrell Well, look at that. In a single post you showed absolute ignorance of two topics!
Right-wing idiocy at its finest.
“No, you can’t have this artifact! It’s been in the British Museum for two hundred years!”
“Yeah, but before that it had been in India for two thousand!”
EDIT: Y’know, if everyone who commented on RUclips videos burned to death, it might solve world hunger. Just a thought.
*angry greek/roman/egyptian/persian/indian/chinese/aboriginal..etc..etc.. noises*
@@spiritusIRATUS Africans too
@@spiritusIRATUS In the case of China thank god they stole it. Would've been destroyed in the cultural involution and the great leap backwards.
Possession is 9 tenths of the law.
@@ivannierez7731 but it's still their history and their artifacts. some rando country seethed in gross superiority complex has no right over it whatsoever. One can never fully justify it.
"We're still looking at it!" funniest part of this whole joke
I literally got here by remembering one thing from this clip months later and just searched "James Acaster Cackle"... Took me right here.
The brilliant part was putting it in a museum. Everybody knows, no matter how it got there, once it's in a genuine Museum, that's where it stays.
Third worldism intensifies
Not always once in a museum always in a museum 🖼️
@Star Constellation Much to the chagrin of Indiana Jones, I imagine.
@@smiller2044 I mean yeah... Only if Brits had their own stuff to show.... The items would have long been returned.
@AzerGhost16 😂 Exactly "half". You go to any colonized country's museum. 100% of the stuff is their own.
Glasgow Celtic Champions
Ryan house colours.
Incredibly impressed by how well his shirt matches the backdrop!
I like how the background and his shirt change for each part of this special.
It's called "a stylist"
The fact that the background matches his hair AND shirt just makes it better
People: The Queen sure does love colour schemes
James Acaster: hold my tea
How have I never seen this guy before? He’s great
Land: exists
Britain: it's free real estate
It is
Ireland: *------*
Turtle Island: **having civilizations of people and sacred culture** colonizers: "well if no one else is gonna have this-"
Britain exists:
Hitler: 'Cause I saved the British lads at Dunkirk.
A wise Englishwoman once said “I have this flag, see...”
His posture reminds me of C3PO somehow
Oh yeah, totally!!
:D!
The entirety of him reminds me of C3PO
His shoulders are very stiff and he points his elbows outwards at times.
The gold outfit is not helping convince me otherwise
As an Indian, I'm sad that some of our artifacts got taken to Britain but looking at the state of our museums here, I say you can keep the stuff for a few more years while we tidy our place up a bit.
agreed.
our people aren't interested in museums, maybe they'll be interested if we bring them back or if the brits give it back
@@mg1721 even if we bring them back, where are we going to keep them? Museums ideally, else at least in a deep underground bunker where they can be preserved, what what's the use of bringing them back?
You likely wouldn't need to tidy up quite so much if the English hadn't colonised you and nicked all your stuff and made you and Pakistan enemies.
@@JohnRowley of course. However, it's also a fact that our museums here in India are severely underfunded and even the stuff we have here are not being preserved and displayed properly.
Wish I could got back in time to watch this special all over again the first time
The struggle Australian Aboriginals had to get back bones of their ancestors was real.
Nick S that's literally not how anything works. have you never read or heard of "guns, germs and steel" by jared diamond?
@@cathuang6212 Yes it is. People that adapt, invent and progress own the world and those that never did still live in squalor. Have you ever been to the Northern territories. It's populated by Abo's waiting for the bottle shops to open so they can get drunk on their giro. It's just natural selection in it's modern form.
Huns' germs and steel is a load of nonsense. It's base don the premise that Europe for example was just lucky. Lucky in where it is located, lucky in that it developed agriculture. Absolute nonsense.
@@SuperNictastic humanity's existence is just a bunch of luck, so the premise about Europe being lucky isn't nonsense.
@@Gobsmacked29 ok. I. Will leg you have your moment. Explain to me why Europe was just lucky and a much older people's like Africans weren't.
Nick S if you look into the argument then you'll see it does make a lot of sense, or you simply believe, nah, fuck compassion and empathy, what other reason could there be than the fact they're meant to be used as a stepping stone for the True Humans? and you're ignoring the systematic problems that present themselves in modern day. Taking away land and blank treaties today that still encourage cultural genocide, with choices like "throw away a part of yourself to join the cog in 'real society' or continue to suffer in reservations or insufficient land... oh and also if you make the wrong choice, in this difficult decision, it's YOUR fault."
And yes, that's exactly what a large part of it is. Tribes that migrated to Europe instead of to the Americas got lucky. They got lucky their continent lays horizontal so that the types of food they grew held competition. They got lucky their tribes relied on competition and pressures of looming war rather than tribes that were nomadic, or maybe tribes that warred on a smaller scale because trade was so much more important. Yes, they got lucky that the Aztecs were so caught of guard by guns, yes they were lucky first nations decided to help the europeans in their first few winters instead of letting them die of scurvy, or instead of keeping their mouth shut. Isn't it just so lucky that because of Europe's cramped and dysentery areas, they were able to ramp up the diseases and they carried to the Americas, and then blamed the natives for not have had the immune systems for something they'd never encountered? The only reason why they are the people who could 'adapt, invent, and progress' was BECAUSE of their situations, their opportunities, and yes, luck.
It's easy to point at modern examples and say that because of all the progression made today, any mistake or unhealthy choice couldn't possibly be because of anything other than the fact that they MUST simply be inferior as evolved humans. Natural selection is obsolete in this day and age where help and compassion can be provided to anybody, and the only thing in the way of that is systematic oppression and misinformation.
You should try empathy.
This was certainly inspired by Eddie Izzard... “I claim this country for Britain! And they’re like, ‘you can’t claim us, we live here,’ Well... do you have a flag?” Hahahaha
no flag no country, thats.the rule that I just made up
this was also certainly inspired by something else in the first place... things like "British Empire", "History" and "having a basic education and a brain".
@Jack Tyrrell And still they robbed it.
Well the Eddie Izzard sketch is funny because it's sort-of true - it's a humorous description of the old imperialist mindset, and Europeans did put a lot of store in flags. Some explorers in Africa arrived with boxes of cheap flags and the intention of persuading the locals to put them up.
This sketch is less effective because, although the *punchline* ("We're still looking at it") is true, the 'we stole it all' narrative is mostly a half-truth or even a bit of a lie. It doesn't reflect the mindset of the so-called thieves nor the practical situation in which they operated. Really, a bunch of rich curious people from what was momentarily the only rich corner of the planet went around the world gathering curiosities, and then they put them in a museum for everybody to see and study. There was no force involved, except when items were taken as trophies in wars which were not fought for the sake of the items themselves. So really there was no outright 'theft'
@@CBfrmcardiff That's the dumbest alibi I've ever read. By the way, how'd they get rich? Divine intervention? How's about raping and pillaging?
3 min, 30 seconds pure genius - what a legend
“We are still looking at it” is the best line. 😂
See where other countries are getting it wrong is that they didn't bring a flag.
My man Eddie nice
we took freedom around the world
@@DamnedDave That's not really how Empires work.
It is we brought freedom by force like all good Empires
I was only playing btw
@The Coward Liberius and in payment they raped the land and slaughtered the people.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million times more, I love Mr. James Acaster
Stop saying the same time over and over and over, it’s fvcking boring
How long would it take you to actually say that 1 million more times? Do you have no hobbies?
Once is plenty, mate.
Mantage
I love him on would I lie to you ruclips.net/video/a20TMDFhedM/видео.html
"The last place anyone looks", was underrated
Turning up the accent on that "I don't fink so!" is hilarious.
That line... "I don't think so. We're still lookin' at it!" felt very Pythonesque to me. I could hear Idle or Palin saying that one.
Makes me think of the time someone stole my one of a kind, custom made bicycle. The police wouldn't get it back for me because I didn't have a serial #. I didn't even know bikes had those but I'm pretty sure you use a serial # to differentiate between mass produced bikes that look pretty much identical. Mine was one of a kind & the designer gave the police more than enough evidence that it was my bike. They knew it was mine but they just didn't care. Eventually the thief left it outside and one of my friends just stole it back. Maybe one day the other countries will just steal their shit back.
Or maybe just maybe it gets stolen by aliens
i hope so :) one day
I hope now that you got it back, you've etched "1" on it somewhere
Just a friendly heads up that the majority of the things in the British museum were bought and paid for.
So your analogy of "countries just stealing their shit back" would be like if my Grandad sold his war medal to a foreign museum and I decide I'm going to steal it because it has meaning to me. Not "stealing back", just plain old stealing.
@@JPG126 I am not saying the museum is full of stolen artifacts but they definitely have things that were legitimately stolen. There are multiple countries asking for the British Museum to return their artifacts. Those items were not sold to the museum even if the majority of the museum's items were bought & paid for.
This is just the plot of black panther
Pretty sure there wasn’t a part about a guy wanting to commit genocide in that but okay
Watching that scene was the first time I actually realized that hey, those are stolen goods.
@@Sinathikunene That's great! Soon you'll be all like "Hey, wait a minute! This imperialism thing is still going on, isn't it?" and then it's revolution time 🏴
@@Sinathikunene i mean not realy
stealing the dudes beer afther a bar fight aint that bad
its part of the fun
so is looting
general human trait
@@Sinathikunene
And that's the problem with them putting it into Black Panther. They're not stolen. They were mostly obtained via legitimate means, and it's merely a point of inaccurate propaganda to suggest that they were stolen. But, because you saw it in a Marvel movie, it gave that idea some credibility in your eyes. Propaganda is often that subtle.
Spanish: Laughs in Gold and Silver Bullion
British empire had a piece of that action, too, don't forget
OMG. That was good. Great vid to watch first thing in the morning 🤣🤣
This is why it’s easier with military museums. “Umm, can we have that tank back please?” “Sorry chap, you lost the battle and your men a abandoned it. Rules is rules.”
@@enei7045 Okay but nowhere in the rules of war is there anything about how the winner of a war gets dibs on the losers' stuff. Indeed, the modern rules of war clearly state that objects of great historical, religious and/or cultural value aren't considered valid military targets, so it's essentially the exact opposite situation to take someone's artifacts in this manner.
A tank is a military tool, if another force seizes it, they're just ensuring that they won't have to fight against it later. When they take people's cultural artifacts, all they're doing is behaving like pillagers and vandals.
@@enei7045 Okay but we're following the rules of war now like a civil society. Agreeing to those rules is a clear affirmation that we realize that people pillaging in that manner was wrong to do, acknowledging that if we had been following those rules back then, we would be committing a war crime.
With all that in mind, how is it not fair that the nations that those items were looted from get them back?
Like when slavery was ended we didn't just say "okay everyone we realize the institution of slavery is wrong now, however we didn't realize it back when all of our current slaves were first enslaved. So obviously we should be allowed to keep them enslaved because we can't be held accountable for our own actions back then."
And this isn't just a matter of ancient kingdoms looting from one another, the British empire that stole everything is the same political entity that exists today. How are they somehow no longer liable for the artifacts they still that are flagrantly stolen from people that really want them back now?
@@evansageser6943 because that's not even the same scenario. One is an object, the other a person.
I actually agree with you but I think your example is shaky at best.
@@oswaldrabbit1409 In both cases however it is something that is treated like property that later laws decide is not acceptable to take as property however. Yes, I think pillaging objects is less extreme than abject slavery, but it still gets to the heart of the problem, that being that you can't just grandfather in past misdeeds. If the law suddenly decides it is wrong to own something, you don't get to justify that you retain ownership of those illegal things just because you acquired them prior to the law's passage, particularly given how clear-cut the case for prior ownership is.
I got a tour round Chelsea Pensioners, old lad who was giving us the tour was showing all of these standards, flags etc. Taken in battle from other countries, there was French, Spanish, Dutch, couple of others and Americans... Americans are still asking for their standard back, have been rebutted several times 'I don't think you get it... You lost it....'
The background and James's outfit looks like, it was created by Wes Anderson.
Wes Andersons movies were loosely based on that background. Not many people know that..
@@MrJackandEmily It all makes sense now!
he’s a big Wes Anderson fan!
James Acaster was actually created in a laboratory by Wes Anderson
As a person of Greek heritage I really appreciate this video. Thank you for showing us that there's good people in your country
What was your impression before?that people in Britain are bad?
@@jdlc903 I mean they certainly haven't done anything to change that perception that's for sure. A lot of the commonwealth nations still view British people as snobby bastards who won't return what doesn't belong to them and rightfully so.
@@sakshikhatavkar3562 most British view themselves as working class,so they can't really be described as snobby.upper class people perhaps. But they are in a minority.
I was bemused by this comment by someone from Continental Europe from a country with large far right party,an issue which wouldn't prompt me to decide "oh there are bad people in that country "
@Dan Seddon ikr
@Dan Seddon terrible excuse for British colonialism
"not right now selfish" - floored xD
British people be like: started stealin' it... Had a break-down...bonapetit.
Time for other huge nations to start stealin shit, like China. aren't they in the process of stealing countries and sea land lol
oh no are you gonna be alright
Britain: no it's fine, it wasn't my break-down
*centuries old empire collapses in the background*
"British people be like..."
Ugh! Appalling grammar.
@@Tht1Gy well, I think the guy is using AAVE (African-American Vernacular English) which is considered a form of speech used by middle and working class African-Americans in casual situations, but has been used in the internet too (Stan Twitter is an example).
Yes, the grammar in traditional English wouldn't be correct, but the user is just using AAVE slang.
@@dantemaquiavelli9039 I am aware.
I still think it's appalling. A lack of knowledge of grammar does not excuse that lack.
I'm Chinese and when my parents took us to see the British museum, they just call it the "Great Thief Museum (大盗博物馆)". Had a great time there, sketched the venus de milo and saw the fountain heads robbed from us during the 8 nations war where they burned down a palace close to Beijing (圆明园). Anyone else here from a country that calls the museum something similar? I don't think that nickname is something my parents made up.
@@insulam821 Beta.
How about you give the tibetans back their land?
@@Kyle_Hubbard Bro they're just a racially Chinese person. They're not the government or anything, and they were simply trying to tell an amusing anecdote. What are you even trying to accomplish here?
@@confnin1863 Pointing out the hypocrisy.
@@Kyle_Hubbard The commenter was talking about how their parents were the ones to call it that, not themself. And even then, it's not like they're blaming all English people for stealing their stuff and refusing to return it. If they had actually outright blamed anyone in the comment, there may have been hypocrisy, but as it stands, your comment was uncalled for and just pointless overall.
"We're still looking at it" LOL
1:45 "how important it is to you and your culture", it's such a good point.
This is the single most thoroughly British individual on the planet
except for the self-awareness about the empire
@@chrismiller1261 good point
Hmm I doubt he'd be triggered by facts he doesn't like though a modern Brit trait (Brexit era) Therefore I dissagree.
@@bmg2507 Mate just cuz your salty about history, doesn't mean you can project your weakness on us.
@Robert Apostu lot's of a-hole football fans do that, it's not exactly exlusive to England
‘one all, you punks’ really tied it together ahahaha
I have a better idea. Make exact measurements of everything they stole, and exact copies from those measurements; then give the originals back to their rightful owners, but keep displaying the exact copies, and sell other exact copies. If the British Museum is going to be a crime scene, then it might as well be a fence.
to be fair, they're already in the hands of the "rightful" owners.... since THEY are the owners lol.... they should be grateful the british empire GAVE them their countries back.....
Robbing the gift shop at the end....LOL! Fair play.
I saw James Acaster in the park practicing a South African accent he must be preparing for a movie role or something. He was very immersed in the character because when I asked him for a photograph he pretended to get very upset and spat at my wife.
I feel like I'm missing something in this story but I enjoy it nonetheless
You and your wife probably didn't kno de wae
pizza who said he didn't?
And then we (the true South Africans) polished the World Cup trophy and said. You can look at it. But stand behind the ropes!! 😂🇿🇦
@@pizzadoog I thought it was an ngannou quote lol
James as the next Doctor. Get this going people.
Impossible, he's a white male.
RUclips Censors one woman doctor and everybody gets triggered
@@pixelnaut8076 "Once the wagons start circling, they never stop." This has happened to nearly every franchise, noticing a solid pattern after numerous occasions isn't "triggered". Nice try attempting to co-opt the term though. High five!
Can it just be him going back in time putting shit back where it should be
"nearly every franchise"
Doesn't actually list any franchises.
Also, uh, what's wrong with women being more prominent in roles? People always get weird about men being "pushed aside" when it's pretty much equal, if not catching up for the years of men getting the spotlight while women get sexualised etc
"We're still looking at it!." Brilliant!!!
Interesting this being recommended...
This is how characters in Wes Anderson's movies dress
oh my god you're right
the lightning further enhances it
He is beyond genius, every line he says in this sketch is comedy. A master craftsmen
He reminds me of Monty Python with his delivery and gesticulations.
You have no idea how often I quote “I don’t fink so, we’re still lookin’ at it”
Happy this ended up on FB. I discovered this funny comedian.
I love the way he talks and his expressions (or lack thereof). He's very unique
I've never been a fan of the word unique, though people often tell me I should embrace it, be proud. It's Othering though, especially when you hear it a lot. And when you're not as successful or seemingly surrounded by friends, family and supporters as James is!!
@@kathybramley5609 To be honest I've never thought of the word that way. To me it just means different / distinct / interesting. And I don't think different is a bad thing.
Well everyone here has decided to have a nice deep chat lmao
I don't like the word quango while we're getting things off our chest. It's not even a proper word, it's an acronym really but it struts around like it's a proper established word...disgusting.
My favorite excuse I've ever heard for not giving antiquities back was basically "we'd love give them back but we don't think you have the facilities to care for something this old properly. As soon as you build a place we think is up to snuff then you can have it back.".
Reminds me of a joke I think it was Trevor Noah, said. "We're not giving your stuff back because you can't take care of it properly. We know you can't because if you could we wouldn't have been able to steal it."
@Chardonnay Smith That's just not true. The British museum values then in a very European way, which is to place it on a pedestal and try and make it last forever. I guarantee you The cultures that created these artefacts would have valued them just as much if not more, by using them for their intended purpose. Other cultures are perfectly capable of valuing their own art.
@@ngaire1004 I believe a similar case is currently occurring in Denmark with a drum that belonged to a Samii shaman.
@@ngaire1004 They didn't and haven't valued them historically. Hell, Europe only started valuing them recently.
@Wilhelm Eley Ah yes I believe that it is listed in British Constitutional Law under the "Finders keepers no take backs!" clause...
Finally comedy which reflects my sensibilities and taste for mustard yellow backdrops
One of his best bits - every so often I have to click on this video and rewatch it.
Sooooo were just gonna pretend his shirt pocket isn't big enough to hold 2 water bottles and a bag of chips
Watch the whole routine that comes up in a bit at some point
Lmaooo
You mean crisps
@@esme4048 lmaooooo what are those!?!?
@@sifuentes4113 crisps are what you call chips, and in england, chips are what you call fries, and in england, we also have fries. So we have fries, chips and crisps, but you guys just have chips and fries lol
That's not James Acaster, that's Pat Springleaf!
Why are your wire recordings available for public download!!
@@markjames2343 Say your prayers. Say your prayers.
@@RobCartwright # Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me #
My absolutely most fav bit ... fooking hilarious
"Who's is this land"
"Mine"
"Who gave it to you"
"My father"
"Who gave it to him?"
"My grandfather"
"Who gave it to him?"
"His father"
"And how did he get it"
"He fought for it"
"Then I'll fight you for it"
Old Norse saying
"It's worked out well for us so far."
Can't argue with results.
True but the key phrase with bad behavior is always "so far".
Gotta love his massive pocket and his "Started making it, had a breakdown... Bon appetit!"
Out of all the comedians to appear on Taskmaster, this guy is the funniest.
I still need to watch the rest of them.
'Merica!
"Whatcha gonna do about it? That's right, nothing! Now bugger off!" - Britain
Definitely
Britain isn't a superpower nowadays,
@@Peacemaker-96 wdym
Akash Deep CANZUK is
@@Peacemaker-96 Well, it is.
This guys father has got to be Vyvyan from the Young Ones.
Adrian Edmondson; dude I've been saying
Good call
Holy shit!!! Spot on!!
Yeah, i kinda got that. However Edminson was intentionally moronic. Not naturally.
Classic. People can point fingers at guilt easily, but when it comes to taking responsibility for guilt...then they find others to blame. Great vid!
why would someone in ANY country, take RESPONSIBILITY for things THEY didn't do? seems illogical.
Oh yeah because James was personally responsible for stealing those things. Take your meds
I feel like OP was referring to those with the "finders keepers" mentality. Not James...
We are still looking at it is the best thing ever.
"this'll sound far-fetched..."
w00dy not really, yes it’s told in a joking way but it’s pretty close to what happened.
@@conors4430 ...
R/whoosh
I mean it sounds insane now a days. But the sun never did set on the British Empire back in the day.
It covered 1/3 of the world 🌍
He is the most british person I've seen, but weirdly also he is the most relatable one yet!
OMG I never knew that Pinky from Pinky & The Brain from Animaniacs was a real accent - iconic AF!!!
India exists
British colonizers : thats free real estate
So did Portuguese and French
India didn't exist. It was a collection of fractured states, there was no 'India' until it was united by the British.
@@RagggedTrouseredPhilanthropist India was united under Mughals and later Marathas when British arrived.
It wasn't even colonised but was conquered.
@@RagggedTrouseredPhilanthropist all the states that existed before the British arrived were unified by cultural identity and religion. There is documented evidence of this by the British themselves. You are misinformed.
Find out about him exactly 3 min ago.......I think I’ve fallen in love help 😂😂❤️😭