My husband is very very stoic. He was raised by an alcoholic father and angry mother. I’m terrified of showing negative emotions even though I do because I am deeply emotional and can’t hold them in well. I was physically abused by my step father when I showed anger as a child. I 100% have TMS and now realize I have for 35 years. I’m learning how to re navigate my body my brain and the world thanks to you Dan.
Have a great xmas Dan. Thank you for your time and effort. Much appreciated. Looking forward to watching more of your fantastic videos and continuing my journey in the new year. Atvb.
Hope this helps . I have found that quite simply, if I am in my head which happens to be 90% of the time , in the world of thought , I find it almost impossible to feel emotions. Its like trying to think the emotions up and the two won't mix. When I come out of my head , into the reality of 'now' and without deep thought and just feel , this seems to allow the emotions to flow into feeling. How do you know when and if you are in your head ? You may have been stuck there for years due to work, commitments, self image building even a constant nagging partner can keep you trapped in your head to the point where this is your normal reality . The best way I can describe being out of your thinking mind is that moment you heard a BANG! Looked out wide eyed and felt the fear and racing heart . hence the term "I jumped out of my skin". This is the place you need to be, to really feel. Just get out of your head and feel, without bursting balloons. A starting point is gaze your eyes into the distance , focus on your breath, allow your vulnerable side out knowing its safe then focus inside your torso and feel. Good , bad its all good !.
Hi I believe I cant feel love / happiness due to been chastised in childhood for feeling them Im not sure what im supposed to do in the column to change this
"I am worthy of love and happiness." What you were told in childhood is wrong. You deserve love. You deserve happiness. Your self image was given to you. You get to create your NOW self image. Love yourself.
Hi Dan, I think I know what emotions I'm repressing. My mom passed away just about a year ago and I still can't seem to accept it. How to deal with grief? I try to feel the emotions associated with it and I get overwhelmed that I sometimes try to escape from it, which I just knew I've been doing subconsciously. Thanks!
Grief is one of those emotions that we don't "deal with". Simply accept the loss and that the depth of your grief is an indication of how much you loved your mom. Give yourself permission to grieve. It's normal. It's allowed. Have you ever read the poem by the old man about grief? I found this amazing. As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
Pain Free You Thanks very much for this, it's how I'm really feeling, like I'm still drowning and the force sometimes is so strong it catches me off guard. I miss her a lot and still trying to cope with the loss. I know I have to go through this, thanks for reminding us to acknowledge our emotions and that we can overcome this. Really, thanks to your channel and advices. If I hadn't watched your videos, I wouldn't have thought that my grief could be the cause of my body pains and spasms.
@@jessied5727 It could be that the resistance to the grief is the cause. Allow yourself to feel ALL emotions. Grief. Anger. RAGE. Sadness. Guilt. Shame. All of them. When you look back at Sarno and his initial presentation of these concepts, the pain is there to distract us from the emotions that are too overwhelming, scary or dangerous to feel. The answer is to feel your emotions. Soothe afterwards. And develop and attitude of indifference to the pain or symptoms.
My husband is very very stoic. He was raised by an alcoholic father and angry mother. I’m terrified of showing negative emotions even though I do because I am deeply emotional and can’t hold them in well. I was physically abused by my step father when I showed anger as a child. I 100% have TMS and now realize I have for 35 years. I’m learning how to re navigate my body my brain and the world thanks to you Dan.
Have a great xmas Dan. Thank you for your time and effort. Much appreciated. Looking forward to watching more of your fantastic videos and continuing my journey in the new year. Atvb.
Thank you Bryan. Glad you're enjoying and finding value in the videos. Merry Christmas to you too!
Hope this helps . I have found that quite simply, if I am in my head which happens to be 90% of the time , in the world of thought , I find it almost impossible to feel emotions. Its like trying to think the emotions up and the two won't mix.
When I come out of my head , into the reality of 'now' and without deep thought and just feel , this seems to allow the emotions to flow into feeling.
How do you know when and if you are in your head ? You may have been stuck there for years due to work, commitments, self image building even a constant nagging partner can keep you trapped in your head to the point where this is your normal reality . The best way I can describe being out of your thinking mind is that moment you heard a BANG! Looked out wide eyed and felt the fear and racing heart . hence the term "I jumped out of my skin". This is the place you need to be, to really feel. Just get out of your head and feel, without bursting balloons. A starting point is gaze your eyes into the distance , focus on your breath, allow your vulnerable side out knowing its safe then focus inside your torso and feel. Good , bad its all good !.
Well said, thanks for sharing it helps a lot.
Glad it was helpful!
Hi
I believe I cant feel love / happiness due to been chastised in childhood for feeling them
Im not sure what im supposed to do in the column to change this
"I am worthy of love and happiness." What you were told in childhood is wrong. You deserve love. You deserve happiness. Your self image was given to you. You get to create your NOW self image. Love yourself.
@@PainFreeYouThank you so much 😊
Hi Dan, I think I know what emotions I'm repressing. My mom passed away just about a year ago and I still can't seem to accept it. How to deal with grief? I try to feel the emotions associated with it and I get overwhelmed that I sometimes try to escape from it, which I just knew I've been doing subconsciously. Thanks!
Grief is one of those emotions that we don't "deal with". Simply accept the loss and that the depth of your grief is an indication of how much you loved your mom. Give yourself permission to grieve. It's normal. It's allowed.
Have you ever read the poem by the old man about grief? I found this amazing.
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
Pain Free You Thanks very much for this, it's how I'm really feeling, like I'm still drowning and the force sometimes is so strong it catches me off guard. I miss her a lot and still trying to cope with the loss. I know I have to go through this, thanks for reminding us to acknowledge our emotions and that we can overcome this.
Really, thanks to your channel and advices. If I hadn't watched your videos, I wouldn't have thought that my grief could be the cause of my body pains and spasms.
@@jessied5727 It could be that the resistance to the grief is the cause. Allow yourself to feel ALL emotions. Grief. Anger. RAGE. Sadness. Guilt. Shame. All of them. When you look back at Sarno and his initial presentation of these concepts, the pain is there to distract us from the emotions that are too overwhelming, scary or dangerous to feel. The answer is to feel your emotions. Soothe afterwards. And develop and attitude of indifference to the pain or symptoms.
@@PainFreeYou 💗💗💗 I didn't know it could be put into words.