If you are collecting thousands of dollars a month making content about how you care for your husband, you aren’t a traditional housewife. You’re a work-from-home married woman presenting an image to women who may not have the same level of financial independence that you do. These influencers who make a career representing that role cannot speak to the experience of what a “true” ‘tradwife’ faces because of that financial freedom. I think it is fair to make that your role in your home dynamic, but I also think women who lived through being put into vulnerable positions and found themselves “expired” after 20 years of marriage have an equally valid warning. People who have experienced the latter are rightfully sharing those experiences to the younger generations, but in the end, it’s your own choice how you live - come what may.
Right? They remind me of the Commander's wife in The Housemaid's Tale: her "job" was to be a political activist to take other women's rights away but she herself had a job and felt, that she deserved recognition for all the work she accomplished. Hypocrisie of the highest degree.
Let's not forget they also have an entire production team, merchandising contracts that need lawyers, PR, design teams that decide on the next video, answering questions from other media outlets, administration, marketing, accounting and not least people to look after children at least while the filming is happening and so on. This is a business. It isn't real life. It costs a lot to run that sized business and needs a big workforce. Hence $2.5 million doesn't actually mean 'profit'. I am a man and did bring up my children with my wife. It was hard for the two of us and we did have have day care while we worked at home. That is the reality. I also grew up on a farm so I know how unreal the 'farming content' you see on these homestead type set ups is. Farming is hard work, high tech, requires a ton of capital and you don't grow your own food. You grow a small range of commodities in vast quantities and sell it so you can go to the supermarket like everybody else. I am also a trained chef and trust me, a commercial kitchen is not a 'home kitchen'. Look carefully at those cooking videos. That is a demonstration kitchen you are looking at. I have been trained by chefs in demonstration kitchens with an entire auditorium and location filming set up in front of them. It is effectively a film set with sound and lighting and video built in.
Feminism is the reason why they get to CHOOSE to be a trad wife. Without feminism, these traditional wife values would've been forced upon them by their husbands. The key word here is "choice". If they choose to be a traditional wife it's okay but saying that women shouldn't follow their dreams or they shouldn't be independent is very harmful.
Who is saying women can't or shouldn't work? Some women are follwing their dreams living this lifestyle, they give up their independent lifestyle to join in partnership. Who is harming women?
Exactly. The freedom to choose a partner who has a strong solo income, to discuss and plan for future marital roles instead of having them be expected of a woman no matter what… that’s feminism. A career-minded woman or one who doesn’t want to have a family or one who juggles both spheres and makes compromises accordingly isn’t better or worse than the lady who dedicates herself to homemaking and child rearing. Feminism is about having the option to be what suits you best.
In the show THE HANDMAID'S TALE there is an episode in which the main character talks about how women's safety is depending on the 'generosity' of men. If they feel like it, they will 'protect' you from other men ... but once you proved yourself unworthy, they will become the biggest threat themselves.
Yes, when i left my husband my pastor tried to stop me by saying: if he's doing wrong we can help you, but if you leave, it's on your own head what he does to you, you're on your own... And other threats and creepy remarks.
Did anyone catch the part of the Estee Williams “day in the life” video where she does “basic makeup” at 6:30 am, then goes BACK TO BED for an hour? Only to wake up at 8 to do her hair and makeup again…Like is that so her husband doesn’t wake up to her BARE FACE??😮 That’s some kind of stepford wife training right there😢
I love that cleaning was just putting out new towels. Later there's a video where a tradwife was filming herself removing bread loafs from the oven. Not only were they clearly just placed on the wire racks but I'm pretty sure it was sandwich loaves which need a pan.
When I was a kid, early 90s, my mom stayed at home with 4 kids. She started having these symptoms like she was having a heart attack. When she went to the doctor HE told her, you're having panic attacks you need to get a job and get out of the house for a while. My mom is a great mom, she would and has done anything for us, but sometimes it's not healthy to be home with kids all of the time.
I could not agree with this more! This is one of the things that I advise women that come see me with panic and depressive symptoms and 99% of the time their symptoms improve once they are getting out of the house and doing something for themselves, even if it's volunteering.
While I agree with you, it's kind of hilarious to me that the doctor was like "get a job to get out of the house and be less stressed" when most jobs IMHO are stressful as fuck. (Like, I guess I would have suggested maybe a hobby that meets outside the home? A yoga class, dance class, or even art class? Idk, I'm glad the job worked.)
@@sholem_bond Not necessarily. Jobs are often a way for people to escape home life, and they provide money. Women having their own money can help them to feel like they’re doing something for themselves and they can save it for emergencies. This is more than just having a hobby.
My mom did that and she was utterly and completely miserable. She was often so frustrated she got abusive (though fortunately not severely). I chose to not marry or have kids myself in part because I was terrified of landing in that horrible trap.
All these honeymooner tradwives who's barely married for 5 years thinking its easy like playing level 1-10 on Candy Crush "This is soooooo easy, why are you struggling?" but when more obstacles are thrown at them, they're like... wtf is this, its not supposed to be this hard.
As someone who didn't grow up in the West, it is MIND BLOWING to me to hear "why did women wanted to work?!" It only depicts the incredible privilege Western women and their mothers grew up under that they can not even imagine "why" a woman would need her freedom!
I was put on this earth to live the best life I can. And no one not even my husband is going to tell me what to do. I have been married for 39 years with 2 children and one grandchild. Do what you love and remember no one is going to take care of you but yourself. ❤
How does your husband feel about 40 years of having his needs and wishes totally ignored so you can "Do whatever you want"? Or did you never bother to ask?
Great video! I don't like the negative rhetoric about how feminism has brainwashed women into being boss babes and that's it. Feminism was created to ensure that women have agency and autonomy in their lives. It's all about having the power to choose whatever life you want to live whether that's a career woman or stay at home, you have the right to choose. We all should have a choice to live our lives on our own terms.
Something people always forget is that women were always working. We never stopped unless you were in a certain tax bracket where you could off-load the labour to another woman who needed the money. However, the money women earned would either go to her father, her husband, or her son. She couldn't keep the fruits of her labour for herself. She couldn't inherit property, so if her son wanted to make her homeless after her husband died, he could. Feminism didn't force women anywhere. It just ensured that we got what was rightfully ours in a system that's cruel to everyone. If we wanted to work, we had our own bank accounts and money that was ours to spend. If we wanted to share it with our husbands, we could, but it was our choice. If our husbands died, we would have the right to inherit and manage his estate.
I'm a 49yo white guy from the UK. Just my own opinion but, if a guy can't look after himself by the time he reaches 18+, he ain't worth sh*t, avoid him like the plague. Now, if he can look after him & meets a woman that enjoys being the homemaker & he is happy being the only income bearer, and he's willing to split his wages 50/50 after everything is paid then that's fine, but anything outside of that is simply a Master / slave relationship. But that was the whole point of marriage anyway, it was for the man to have full control over his objects / possessions, the wife was never supposed to be seen as a human being but simply property to be used and abused and discarded once a better model came along. That's the whole reason I would never marry anyone.
Месяц назад
What the fuck kind of psychobabble bullshit is this??? Take a bow captain saveahoe.
Exactly this. My husband left home at 16 to train to be a chef and apart from a relationship many years ago, lived alone and cared for himself and his son when he had him. I was a teacher when we got together but I’m now a stay at home mum home educating our autistic daughter. We didn’t really plan for it to be this way but it was necessary due to my daughter’s needs. I don’t mind taking care of the majority of the housework and childcare, he doesn’t mind being the sole income earner. I actually prefer not working. He still cooks for us and cleans the kitchen afterwards so it’s not all on me and it works because I don’t resent him for his lack of input in the running the home like so many other women have to deal with. He didn’t force this on me, I was more than happy to take on the role. I think that’s the only way it works. This trad wife trend is just not authentically how a trad wife would live as I’d bet a lot wouldn’t choose it. They just don’t get the choice.
What? Do you have any idea what housing costs in most western countries? Do you know what unemployment rates are like? What if he want's to go to university That whole post was so mind-bendingly stupid it took m e several minutes to take in how stupid it was.
"if a guy can't look after himself by the time he reaches 18+, he ain't worth sh*t, avoid him like the plague." That comment is ignorant on so many levels it made my head spin. Do you know what house prices are like these days?
You’re not broken! A lot of people feel the same as you. I got eloped and have never wanted a kid. We exist, we’re just not as loud as the rest of them.
Yes! 27F here with a satisfying career and busy doing her own thing. Never wanted kids and have absolutely no interest in getting married anytime soon. Very happy being able to do what I want when I want with my own money. :)
Estee's vibe (and some of the other ones) to me comes across as cosplaying the American 50s, it just strikes me as really odd. Like okay, live the life that works for you, but why turn it into some dystopian social media theater where you romanticise and distort the narrative?
honestly it feels very F3t1sh. My issue with her stuff is that she's not preseting it as such and I did not consent to be a part of their bedroom stuff. Its the big differentiation between someone like Nara or Ballerina who don't feel like this is F3t1sh content.
The irony is that all these 1950s ads were prescriptive: middle-class w. women had been employed to replace men at war during WWII and this newfound purpose/activity made them happy. They started to advocate for themselves, etc. and that threatened the status quo. These ads were designed to push these women back into the kitchen and making it look desirable/appealing.
@moustik31 and even before WWII, plenty of low-income women (especially women of color) already worked outside the home, because they had to. It's just that they had no anti-discrimination laws or legal protection against getting fired at any point for a male employee (even from organizations like labor unions in many cases). They were often paid less than male employees for the exact same work, could experience hiring discrimination for things like being pregnant (even after the 60s-70s, women in some jobs were still getting examined by company doctors prior to being hired, to make sure they weren't pregnant), and experienced rampant sexual harassment and even sexual assault on the job. According to the "logic" of the time, this was "justified" because they were women engaging in men's work, AKA work outside the domestic sphere, so what did they expect? (Plenty of this stuff still happens today, in spite of the increase in legal protections that women and other marginalized groups have in the workplace these days; but it was even worse back in the day.)
I think a lot of the people who support the tradwife lifestyle (a lot of socially conservative people in general, at least in the US) are either in denial or genuinely don't understand that prior to feminism, especially second-wave feminism, even the women who were privileged enough to be housewives were deeply unhappy, even more so after they experienced joining the workplace during WWII and then were in many cases forced back into the home. Whatever you think about feminism (any wave), it's not an astroturfed movement or conspiracy to destroy the nuclear family or whatever. It happened in every wave because of genuine grievances women have had; otherwise it wouldn't have survived (especially given all the times the dominant culture tried to kill it). But these facts don't fit into social conservatives' narrative, so they have to claim feminism is a conspiracy by Satan or godless people or Democrats or LGBT people or ((international globalist bankers)) to force women away from the family, their true nature, and God-given social roles.
Nara is 100% filing those outfits as business expenses and if she isn't then she should be. Estee, is absolutely going to convert her male audience to OF in the future. This is a grift for these people. It's cosplay. It's a costume. An actual traditional wife wouldn't even be on the internet like that. The husband wouldn't allow it and he 100% wouldn't allow her to be making money off it.
Estee stated that she doesn’t make money from her content, and then it was found out that she makes around $20k a month, so def not a trad-wife. Nara makes a lot more and has a lot more brand deals. One was $200k.
just a quick reminder for all trad wife enthusiasts: if he doesn't set up a portfolio in your name with etfs and stocks, it's a scam. he should provide for you even after the relationship ends.
As a 26 year wife whose income has never been enough to provide for myself (it’s always been play money if I work). My recommendation if you live in a no alimony state like I do. Make sure your name is on houses and cars as well… if he starts his own business make sure you help and keep records. These are not things I’ve ever had to use, but I learned many lessons from my MIL.
And your own retirement account. And your own savings account, better yet have it in someone else’s name (like your mom) to retain a divorce attorney and have the finances for a drawn out divorce if need be. Have your name on everything. Go over family finances and keep records of all of your assets, perhaps in your own safety deposit box.
I agree and that’s the part no one really talks about. People have to learn to not be so personally affected by other people’s lives and take social media with a grain of salt whether people are lying online or not. I find some people who are anti-influencer to be just as extreme as some extreme influencers, seeing it all in the comments.
For some of these women who are attractive and charismatic, social media is a great business. They can do it from home, when they make more money they can hire employees, they can get brand deals and marketing revenue from multiple sources. Social media is hard, time consuming work, but these ladies have found a lucrative niche in it.
The issue with ballerina farm was that she pretended that they’ve achieved all that on their own but turned out she’s the offspring of one the wealthiest families in US and actually there are people that are hired to work and maintain that farm
A friend recently told me about this ballerina farm. She'd been following her for a while genuinely believing that she was taking care of it all by herself. Even if she wasn't lying, she was creating a deceitful image.
@@AZ-gs7xb yeah I understand that. Maybe my point is people just need to stop assuming things about influencer! To me, to feel that someone has been deceitful to you, it feels like, you’ve trusted someone that you’ve never seen in your life. Someone can be aspiring to you, you can find some lifestyle aspiring, but you have to be able to adapt that thing to your condition and not aspire to have exactly what the other person is selling online. Maybe I’m just too old (31) to understand that mentality of being deceived by someone I don’t know which means I don’t really care about that much 🤷🏼♀️
@mamamalet It might be not related to the age, I myself am 33 and the person I told about is over 40, so it must be about the degree of skepticism people have. However, t's hard to constantly challenge every piece of information that comes your way (which is actually right), it's time and energy consuming. People also tend to believe what they want to believe. Having said that, I wouldn't shift the responsibility, the guilty one is the one who is trying to sell a fake image or an idea.
My mother was a stay at home mom. All I remember of my childhood is how hard life was. My mother is disabled and couldn't work, so her husband supported all of us. Money was always tight, dad was always stressed and in a terrible mood, and my mother's anxiety could be felt from the moment I walked in the house. Being a stay at home mom can probably be satisfying for those that can afford it. But when I hear these women talking about relying on the husband's for everything I can't help but cringe.
@@sarahwales6276 if you're an adult your wellbeing shouldn't depend on someone else's mood. I get if someone's disabled, but any other case? a disaster waiting to happen
Most women have to work. I ran a daycare out of my house when my kids were little. I went back to teaching when they were school-aged. I also ran summer camps out of my house. Most women don’t have choices.
@aleksandrawilkos1278 Is that what you think marriage is, when a woman's husband works outside of the home while she works inside of the home? Her well being is depending on someone else's mood? Your view of marriage sounds limited and based on your own negative experiences.
Sorry, I laughed so much when she said “I stopped wearing pants” She means skirts and dresses, right, but I was like….”oooh well that’s not very modest” 😂
Honestly, it just always feels like "I'm pretty and Feminine enough to be loved and not have to work" vibes. Basically another competition for women to focus on where everyone fails eventually because youth and beauty will go away and you'll be another object to be replaced.
Respectfully, this sounds like a DEEP hater take. And this is the side no one talks about: how a lot of women envy trad wives (& many influencers, feminine & attractive women in general) because of their looks, lifestyle, and femininity. Because people think “their life is better than mine and it’s not fair”. Listen, another woman’s life, beauty, and lifestyle is not making yours bad. So what if they are pretty and feminine enough to not be loved and not have to work? Why is that an issue? Competition isn’t being promoted? And just because the are negative stories about trad wives doesn’t mean everyone is going to “fail” and they will “be another object to replace”. That’s projection and too many women look for negativity in other women/women’s lives to make themselves feel better. We are not all the same, everyone isn’t down bad and getting done bad by men, and we are not glued together. I’m not even pro trad wife like that, but some of these takes like this are petty. A lot of y’all really gotta get a grip and learn to stop comparing yourselves to other women, studying their lives, hoping they fail, and do you, unless true critique is needed. Some of these takes go past honest critiques and scream hater and cope. I’m genuinely not trying to be mean or disrespectful, but this comment was really out of pocket. Hope you take it with some thought. Peace and God bless.
A friend of mine thought she was beautiful enough that a doctor who turned me down nastily (he ended with a fine in court) would treat her better. Turns out: no. He just hated all women and told her she should just loose weight.
@@Lemonscentedandclean no, it's because we women to be safe. There are consequences when people mistake money-making cosplay for regular householding. If stay at home wives are depending only on their beauty and "submissiveness", and are not using their skill sets in the professional world, they are extremely dependent on their partner. If the partner is controlling...if the marriage fails... better have a pre-nup., oh, but a pre-nup doesn't fit the trad wife image...
@@Lemonscentedandclean This is not a hater take at all. It is no secret that media is a competition meant to inspire jealousy, but the key is a lot of it is fake. A lot of these trad-wives are the bread winner, hire maids and nannies, and do not do what they show on a daily basis or even at all. It’s not hating to point out what’s really going on.
Lol felt that at 42:10 currently a medical student AND also currently teaching anatomy and physiology as a professor. I literally cannot imagine my life in any other way. If a man wants to say I'm not a "real woman" then okay sure sir, you can just call me "professor" or "doctor" instead, thank you.
Same!! I’m an undergraduate right now and planning to do a PhD any go into research after. Like sorry for wanting to do good for the world and solve some big problems.
My biggest concern for people being Stay at home isn't even just "what if he leaves you." That can happen sure. He can turn harmful, all sorts of nastiness can happen but women after this life don't think that will happen to them. What if you are set up decently and happy and he gets cancer? What if he gets a brain injury or other disability. Some of them are marrying significantly older than themselves. If he's 20 years older than you, when you are 55, he will be wanting to retire. Are you ready to get a job at 55 to get insurance for yourself? What will you do when he passes and his social security is no longer there? Frankly, if I was hiring for a job and the persons work experience in middle age was entirely being a housewife, I wouldn't hire her for anything more than basic work. Not because being a housewife is bad, thats still work, but because you've 0 evidence that you can operate in an office environment and the rules here are different than when you are the boss of the house.
Exactly. This isn't even assuming that the husband will turn out to be abusive - I'm sure that many men enter such relationships with the best of intentions and that the arrangement can work for many couples. But things happen [edit: as in things like accidents and illness and bad economy etc] and you have to be ready to take responsibility for yourself. I also wouldn't want to put the pressure of being the sole breadwinner on my partner because... I'm a grownup and why should he bear that burden on his own?!
@@AW-uv3cb its heavy on my mind today especially because we have a guy at work. He was playing flag american football and someone fell into him and broke his neck. When they tried to move him a piece of bone severed an artery. He is stable and can even sit in a chair 2 weeks later but he has a wife and 2 kids. They now have to move into a smaller house, we are raising money for them, but they have so many sudden debts. When he got hurt, he was playing a fairly low contact sport. Sometimes life throws random tragedy at you and it disgusts me that someone like estee is trying to convince people into a situation where random accidents have an easier time destroying your life.
The thing about ballerina farm is not about whether she shoved it down your throat. The problem is the power of suggestion. It's subtle, but its influence builds over time. This kind of lifestyle is possible for her because she has a headstart. This is unrealistic for her 8 million followers.
@nicoobrowner59 lol why do I care? Because my grandma fell in that trap and her husband almost went family annihilator. The effects of which are still felt generations later. Because my coworker just broke his neck in a freak accident. Because I used to do kink stuff and every woman 40 or older who did 50s housewife stuff would explicitly tell people "NEVER make this a reality." But honestly? I don't care what you or anyone else does. If I tell you you shouldn't buy an not, I'm not saying that because your finances actually matter to me. I'm saying it because you're getting conned. Honestly, I'm guessing you're a teenager if you think everyone telling you not to do something is saying so because they're bothered by you living your life. No if you go through it and in 20 years you are working at 3 Walmart tier jobs just to keep above water, I won't know or care. And neither will the types of guys who tried to convince you it's a good deal.
An influencer's job is to sell something to their audience. Some sell products while others sell lifestyles they don't participate in. Kind of like van life influences only live in their van when they're filming or traveling while still owning their own homes.
In the words of Ibsen: "Not all women were born to be mothers (or wives) " When I was a teen my dream was to have an independent life, nice cottage in a seaside town with my rescue animals. I love children and elders also and have worked with both groups. To each their own.😊
I'm a housewife. I stay home, cook, clean, take care of the house and children and, yes, I submit to my husband, biblically. I also make a small extra income by working from home part time as a customer service rep. That income doesn't refute my status as a Homemaker. I used to work full time outside of the home and I was miserable. Modern feminism has made both men and women miserable.
Absolutely no one is born to be a mother or wife and that's a stupid way of thinking. You can't be born just to make sure someone else is born and no one is made just to serve another person. I know that's a hard concept to grasp since parents only want to have kids to serve their own needs in the first place but yeah love, that's not how human existence works. Nobody on this planet was born to be a parent.
I think the Tradwife movement does a real disservice to men. Maybe THEY would like to stay at home, raise the kids and keep house. I know that happens sometimes, but it's far more rare. From the time a boy starts school, he is basically told that he has to grow up and provide. With my husband, I went through a rough patch and was out of work for about 6 months. My husband gave me the grace to do this for a limited period of time. Then, after trying and failing to learn how to make the perfect pie crust for the 20th time, I was like "Screw this! I'm better off working!" I went back to my nursing job and now I outearn my husband and neither of us have a problem with this. For the record, he's 59 and I'm 54. We both contribute financially and, to be honest, he does far more of the cooking and cleaning. I think we are doing pretty ok! I have NO desire to take time out of the workforce again.
Hi Caitlin! I'm not worried at all about these influencers: they are just rich and privileged enterpreneurs. I'm so much more worried about all that girls and women who are forced by men in this "stay at home/trad wife" role: I'm from Italy and this scene is quite common in the Souther regions where girls tend to marry and have kids at a very young age, leaving school or work...this just makes me sad and angry.
The thing is they romanticize the trad life , everything is fluffy, cute and floral, many woman watch these videos , and thinking I want to be a trad wife don't realise that these woman either come from wealthy backgrounds and are making money from being a content creator , also there's a lot of people in the background helping these woman, so if there husband's leave them then financially going to be set and ok, but the majority of woman who watch these trad videos , get married give up work college etc and rely totally on their husband's one day the husband's leave and there totally screwed and wonder what happened , why, suddenly there homeless and broke , never ever ever rely on a man alone
Oh there is 100% a difference between being a SAHM and a trad-wife! I'm a stay at home mom because I chose to leave my job because at the end of the day my income would literally all go to child care. I know and love that I have the privilege of being able to do so because my husband's income is enough for our little family. But we both do our part at home both with domestic labor and raising our child and every decision about our life is based on what we BOTH want.
I agree with you overall. I wanted to mention that it's not as simple as "women can be housewives if they wish". The vast majority of housewives don't do it by true personal choice, and also it is one of the worst ways to trap yourself not only financially but also by multiplying the possibilities of domestic abuse and most importantly of not being able to get out of it.
At a certain age you can see the reality of this kind of content. What I’m worried about is young girls finding these videos and getting the idea that they should live to please a man.
Yeah, even if it's obvious to most people that these women aren't adhering to a true tradwife lifestyle, a lot of young people see what influencers do and try to implement it in their own lives, even if that's a stupid decision. It's a concern that lots of young women might try being tradwives for the same reasons they tried life hacks or diet tea; their favorite influencer did it. Even if that's stupid on their parts; a lot of people make stupid choices sometimes, especially about internet-related stuff.
@@sholem_bond The worst thing has to be the influencers encouraging being a sugar baby. It's literally sex work and they're not warning any of their viewers about the risk of doing that.
@@grandempressvicky6387 It’s all bad, and I can’t stand how influencers aren’t showing the reality of any of these lifestyles. trad-wives often end up divorced and struggling to scrape by. SB end up used and feeling numb. Neither is a pretty reality.
They are sadly. I've gotten into online arguments were these young women were convinced people are judging them for not wanting to work when in reality we are warning them of the likelyhood of abuse. I hate how tiktok romanticizes so many things.
The husband submission part and having to always ask your husband permission for things and where you can go is the most likely to be emotionally and mentally damaging. Giving up your anatomy everyday over basic decisions makes no sense when the couple could agree in advance a fun budget she has for the month to go out, which wouldn't take away her everyday freedom 😅
That is absolutely not what true submission is. Trus submission is biblical submission, and it works perfectly. Of course, because God is perfect so His ways are perfect. The key is to marry the right man; a good, godly man who you trust and respect. Open the Bible, your heart, and pray. Then the way will be made known to you and understood.
Girl, half of the men in this world think having a large wedding is a nightmare! Why are we embarassed to admit that half of the women feel the same too? 😂😂😂😂
The inherent irony in saying this is their choice - exactly! It’s YOUR choice. I can appreciate that, but it’s not MY choice and I wish society would stop telling me it should be.
I’d love to see these women using the technology that was available in the eras they idolise so much rather than all the fast and easy gadgets they have access to these days. If they had to use a washboard and a mangle they’d change their tune really quickly.
@@mors_ontologica_9242it’s not though. These influencers are glamorizing a life that will get most women abused, in all kinds of ways, while not showing the actual ugly, back-breaking labor that was done in the 1950’s.
This is a thing people forget. Being a homemaker/SAHM is way more work when you're not using modern technology or a lot of modern products/ingredients (see also: "crunchy" SAHMs today who don't use stuff like microwaves, or any pre-prepared ingredients/stuff that's not "GMO-free." I don't think this is inherently better, and I think these people often engage in practices or subcultures that are harmful, but I can vouch that it's a lot more work, and much harder to do alongside a job outside the home).
What people don't understand is that being a housewife should be something natural, which comes along with the natural experience of the couple, and not imposed. It comes from a need (whether personal or couple's), and not from an obligation. My mother has always been and is a housewife, she left her job to take care of the children (because she suspected that the nanny didn't feed me right and didn't take care of me right), but she always told me to have my money, to have my security and always told me about her insecurity about being left with nothing at any time. Being a housewife is a necessity arising from the couple - just as a woman needing to work also comes from a need, and not an obligation. The choice should be talked about and considered, and not made out of fetish, as they said. Greetings from Brazil! Love your content.
I had to change course and stay home because my child had a lot of therapy appointments. I always told my daughter to make sure she always has FU money for the unexpected.
That's so dangerous. You can't make sunscreen at home and the reason it had no white caste is because the zinc didn't bind in. She basically just made suntan lotion
She makes the Weirdest things. I want her to make good food like say She tries making continental or greek or something like indian if they like. Why waste time on sunscreen😢
Hello Caitlin!! I am a military wife married for 18 years, I am a mother and I have no profession. (I immigrated to the United States from Brasil after I got married ) My husband loves me and I love him, but I am starting to get worried about the future. I have a wonderful life, I receive many gifts. I can go to any fancy store and buy whatever I want, but the moment my husband doesn't love me anymore and doesn't find me attractive, all this will end. Your video on this subject opened my eyes, thank you!!
Its concerning you feel this way about your man. Im a stay at home mom. And I can confidently say my man will never leave me when I get old and unattractive. If your husband truly loves you you will grow old together.
I was a trad wife twice. Now I am in school and building a business in my late 40s and I have nothing. I live in an Airbnb because I have no credit. Do not ever give your worth to a man...as soon as you hit 40 he is going to leave your ass...I promise. Go to college, get a job, cook homemade bread on the weekends. Period.
Wow can I just say you have NAILED this video. Thank you thank you! 🙏🏽 also on the reality of the tradwife. My mum unintentionally was I guess a trafwide. She’s had a little jobs but didn’t earn as much as my dad. And unfortunately my dad passed suddenly, so my mums been left with nothing. No back up. 60 years old and suddenly with no career or job. It’s toxic this tradwife movement to rely on a man for income. Thank you for this video ❤
Yeahh cause he has a pretty little slave at home and still does whatever he wants with other women... Been there unfortunately, it was brutal when I found out where I got myself into... Thought I was living the dream, but it was such a nightmare... Women, please don't fall for this!!!!! 😢
I absolutely love my partner. He’s my rock, a wonderful dad, the whole 9 yards. I am however, happy I have a job, I have something to fall back on. I don’t like working, it’s extremely hard, plus I take care of most of the house care since he works thirds. But the comfort of knowing, I got me, is unmatched.
I've been a stay at home, my kids are now 8-15 and my husband is currently (hopefully temporarily, for his sake) unable to work for health reasons. I'm working from home, working on a degree, while he's taken on domestic tasks. I absolutely cannot WAIT to get a better job, outside my home. Cannot wait to be leaving every day for work. 🤣 Love my family, but it's my turn!
Do not make your own sunscreen… many other DIYs found online are harmless but don’t play around with sunscreen!! They are hard enough for professionals to formulate - you risk improper protection and skin cancer when you treat something so serious as an arts and crafts project.
Yeah and honestly while some forms of it seem to be "mild"/easy enough to treat with healthcare access (my mom has had several apparently-cancerous skin growths just lasered off by a dermatologist), skin cancer is still no joke, and it can be partly hereditary. (Especially since I think I remember hearing that the hole in the ozone layer has started growing again, so more UV radiation is making it through to us?)
The thing that gets me about the comments on a stay at home wife vs a stay at home girlfriend is yeah... as a wife you get a bit more security but honestly, not much. I've heard way too many horror stories about women who were SAHW and got kicked out with nothing, the husband found loopholes and ran off to avoid paying a dime and left his wife and kids homeless. Going to court to get your husband to pay his fair share is expensive, and SAHW don't have their own income, so how would they get the law to hold him accountable? Marriage isn't security, either. Your own money, skills and ability to have your own income is the best security.
Not to mention that rich people are STINGY. A rich conservative man? Even stingier. You can bet that he will pay his lawyers to find every way out of paying anything to an ex-wife, even if their kids are on the line (if he doesn't just take the kids from you).
If girlfriends want to stay at home it is up to them. If mothers want to do it, it’s up to them. However, if you break up and he leaves you with nothing. That’s on you as well
Feminisms goal was for someone to be able to choose. If you like what you do great but like someone else commented you still make money, you’re still influencing and get paid to do so. And a Nara Smith isn’t making cereal from scratch because her child asked her to. It’s content, it’s money. But if you’re stuck in an abusive marriage but get told no that’s how it’s supposed to be that’s the harmful situation many people still face even today and perpetuating that kind of image is harmful when it’s not the reality for so many millions of people.
jordan & mckay have a great video about ballerina farm. she is not a homesteader, in my opinion. the issue (one of them) that i have is that with ballerina farm, & trad wives overall, i do think she is trying to make this life look accessible when it is not. also imagine thinking women's rights/feminism is entirely based on the right to work. dear god.
Yeah, she married into a billionaire family. She carries zero risk associated with actually making a life farming or homesteading, but fakes like her life is hard
it's not about it being accessible,it's about it being beneficial,I don't mind a woman staying at home for sometime till her kids reach a certain age where they can go to school,like first grade,and you can go back to work after,so that you can. Still have some sort of financial independence, just in case your husband leaves you, or if the marriage doesn't work out,or if he becomes sick /disabled
"She makes it look accessible when it's not." Exactly. Whether she means to make it look that way or not; because she's an influencer and so some people see her life as aspirational, that's a problem.
I am so happy you’re speaking on this. I’ve been working since I was 15 and now turning 27 next month. I feel absolutely horrible about myself esp recently because I’ve made a career for myself. Such a weird thing but lately it’s a “shame” for any woman to consider herself hardworking or independent.
I think what's important is having a choice. Find a partner that is on the same page and do whatever makes you and him happy, if you want to be a housewife, be a housewife, if you want to have a career, have a career.... Understand the pros and cons and implications with the decisions you make.
I'm a stay at home and this content IS offensive. I do all of these things extremely well, including caring for an aging parent. I get virtually NO credit or respect from men or women, just patronizing 'isn't that sweet' remarks. If I were 23 years old, blonde and buxom maybe it would be different. Wait until these girls (average age?) have done this for a few years and we can re-assess. I can't wait until I have the opportunity to get back out of the house and join the workforce again.
Nara stole her content ideas from an African content creator named Onezwa and passed them off as her own then sent the African creator a threat for calling her out as a THIEF!! The other lady is a chef and made gum, mozzarella, boba and homemade cereal and had the soft voice esthetic and Nara stole her whole vibe and esthetic and passed it off as her own. Stealing ideas and content isn’t knew like the YT girls who become famous for copying blk dances yet the real creators got nothing. It’s unfair, but there’s nothing to be done since you can’t copyright it. Nara is a thief.
I can't believe how twisted these women's minds are! They cherry-pick and combine information in such a way that many people can relate to, and never doubt that it is just a marketing strategy. They appear to be authentic for the show and proceed to sell stuff to their followers, even though it contradicts the values they seem to stand for. Who is to blame, though? The people who mindlessly consume anything on the internet or these conmen who are starting to build whole businesses on fake authenticity?
I am a woman’s who went to a university and proudly received my degree. I worked for 14 years in a corporate job. I was the boss of a large company with 24 direct reports. A year ago I made the decision to leave my job and focus on my two babies plus my health. Let me say it is serious hard work. We are business owners and am blessed to not be burdened financially. However I totally underestimated being a housewife. It is serious hard work. I’m on call 24/7. It so incredibly difficult to get me time to even go to the toilet. My kids are both under 4. These trad wives are so full of crap. In all honesty you still have a responsibility to yourself to be financially secure, make your own decisions. It’s wreckless to completely depend on a person for everything!!! That’s how so many women loose themselves. This is all another scam. These people are making so much money by selling this lifestyle.
I feel like this quote adds to a lot of this discussion, “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.” LG. I hope these women have good partners, because there is little to nothing stopping these men from up and leaving them in the dust.
Ummm, no. Your career will literally never tell you it loves you or comfort you when you are sad. It will just use you up, suck you dry & then spit you back out when you are too old to be of use & it won't care for you in yr old age either, people. I work to live, not live to work.
I agree with what you said in the video. I don't mind it if a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mother/wife. As long as they don't expect every other woman to do the same. I also feel like these woman who are a little more toxic (like the examples you provided) don't really understand the history of those times. Yes, the '50s were famously known for the suburban housewife. However, in cities and other parts of the nation, many women did work. It was dependent on your socioeconomic status. A lot of women in the lower social class did work outside of the home and in factories prior to that time. Women on farms helped their families take care of the farm and crops. They didn't just sit inside all day taking care of the home. But I guess they just ignore that part of history...
I recently saw a video from an exmormon creator. She shows that adsense for words like mormon, utah, trad wife and other mormon related terms are very high paying. Like the word catholic was $5 per click and mormon was $25 per click. Thats why I think we see an influx of tradwife content because it pays so well.
@TheMichelleBooth Her name is Alyssa Grenfell, and on her channel it's a video called "Why are there so many mormon influencers" it's a great video, hope you enjoy.
At least as an American/USian what is frightening about the “trad wife” trend is that it is coming in tandem with very real political efforts by the far-right (which has taken over mainstream conservative spaces) to restrict women’s rights. When there are successful efforts to restrict women’s access to abortion and contraception, restrict various civil rights and equality measures that try to level the playing field, it’s hard to look at some of this trad wife content in a vacuum. It is also not actually accessible for most women as shown in this content, which is highly idealized and romanticized. Most one income households struggle immensely to keep the lights on and food in the table. I’m concerned a lot of young women aren’t being realistic about where things actually stand economically and socially and may be relinquishing their autonomy and ability to thrive for a fantasy.
That is the impression I get as well. That said, it isn't just coming from the right. The left of politics also have a social political fantasy of the mother as 'homemaker'. Look at any form of extreme socialist dictatorship in the 20th century. Women were always pressured to stay at home, bear children, have their rights subjugated to men. All dictatorships know that if you can capture the women, then you get their children and men have to follow. It is about control but being presented as a 'virtuous life' that you women should aspire to.
I’m faulty too 😂 I’ve never fantasised about a wedding, or marriage (if it happens, it happens if not, then not). But I personally don’t think I would ever meet a man I would trust enough to be a trad wife - I just value my independence too much too. So I think I’m broken too. But I’m almost 40, so I guess it is what it is! 🤷🏼♀️
@@onimendez7735 I hope you’re right! I always think that about other women who make those choices,( but I guess it’s easy to doubt yourself. Thanks for your comment though
I was born in the late 50's. After marriage, my mother never worked outside the home. Dad handled all finances and gave my mother an allowance for personal use. That was necessary for a variety of reasons, but I knew that would not be my future. When I discussed finances with my fiancé we agreed that I would handle bill paying, savings, etc., and within reason, either of us could purchase things without clearing it with the other. We had one bank account, and we both had access to everything. At times, my husband earned more than I did, and later, I earned more than he did. It was all ours from the beginning. Worked for us. I personally don't care what others choose to do but trad life would not be for me.
I’ve watched quite a few videos on the subject, but this was definitely the most comprehensive and covered a lot of things I was not aware of. An excellent job.
And thats why your a single mom instead😂 you didnt plan before having a child. Let me guess you baby daddy was abusive. Says all the single moms. Studies show single moms raise kids worse then single fathers and mom and dads together. Good job on making poor life choices . I do wosh the best for your kids though. There going to need it.
Another fantastic video from Caitlin! Honestly this makes me very sad. My mom was a public school teacher and she says she that her prayers for me when I was a baby was that I would have a wonderfully satisfying career (as opposed to prince charming). Her dreams came true and I couldn't be more fulfilled. It is my ultimate nightmare to depend on someone else for anything - be it the state or a man. I find this content toxic at best.
I've been struggling to find some new commentary creators that I like. I came across your channel and I can't believe you don't have more subscribers. I appreciate how each chapter has it's own deserving place in the video; how there is a purpose behind every word and clip. Keep up the good work!
The thing that gets me in all of these arguments is just the privilege. Who can actually afford one income in this climate? Not your average person anyway. And the whole "trade wife" ooohhh I do all of the cooking cleaning house work childcare...........do they honestly believe that working mothers don't do all of those things on top of their paid jobs???? It's such rich people problems and it's boring. Great video tho
Thank you for this video! I've seen many people speaking out about this topic but you really took a deep dive here and mentioned a lot of important topics that many others haven't mentioned such as that this is not only idealization but fetishization and how the reality of this lifestyle really used to look like, not the ideal picture that people think of when imagining the role of women in the 50s
I've just heard too many stories of "good" men leaving their middle-aged wives high and dry for a younger woman. I know of several people personally who this happened to. I know of younger men who cheated on their younger wives and ruined the whole relationship in less than a month. I know of men who have been divorced and remarried 3-4 times before the age of 40, and they had a kid with each of these wives! I wish I could trust men. The truth is, it just isn't smart or sensible to put all your eggs into a man-shaped basket and to hope for the best. Women have to protect themselves. Financial self-sufficiency is the only sensible thing to pursue.
I will always remember what my grandmother said to me "you will grow up in an time where you can be who ever you want to be, don't waste it". She was a "traditional" stay at home wife married to my grandfather for 50 years, birthed 13 children she was never mistreated and she was miserable. I think there is a fine line, marriage needs equal respect it doesn't matter if you stay at home or work as long as you are compatible and are both on the same page. My grandmother felt stuck because she wanted to do things but it was the era of life that prevented her. I enjoy your content Caitlin, I subscribed today.
A guy asked me to be a tradwife once. I just couldn’t picture listening to him because he was quite simple minded and dull. Could not ever give up my rights to live under a man, no thanks
OK, as a Christian wife (working part-time in academia, no kids yet), here's my opinion on each of the influencers featured here: - Ballerina Farms: a well-off girl doing cottagecore aesthetics, good for her! She seems to put a lot of thought in living out the aesthetic. - Nara Smith: hate her model face, her TikTok voice and her sense of style, but love her smiling face, her recipes and her personality. At this point, I'm convinced she's either ragebaiting or trolling, this is way too avant garde to be real lol. - Estee Williams: been uncomfortable from the first time seeing her vids, and only recently pinpointed why - can't shake off the feeling that I'm watching fetish content in its purest form (all this prancing and looking at the camera and smiling invitingly). Also, can't help but wonder if she uses eye drops to make her eyes appear bigger and more doe-like - again, for the male audience. - Gwen the Milkmaid: pendulum swung from one extreme (OnlyFans) to another (quaint domesticity), just waiting for it to rest in the middle. - The rest of tradwives that just show off their homestead lifestyle: cool cottagecore, enjoy it girls! - The rest of tradwives that throw shade at feminists and talk about women's responsibilities to men: Pearl Davis is a bad role model, girls.
I am a stay-at-home mum at the moment and I can't wait to get back to work. I am getting depressed and can't wait to get back to work, even part time. I had to stay at home because of the "big 2020 event" and my child got a deadly illness so I was the one staying in hospital. But my husband lets me do whatever I want, I get most of his money because I trained in accountancy so I am better at managing budget. And I will always encourage young girls to have a stream of income and always improving their skills, even while staying at home.
Married 25 years- we respect each other and have both worked to build our lives. I am still in love with my husband- we both do chores and he loves to cook! I cant imagine living this way! Arguments aren’t a bad things and usually leads to the best make up sex!!😂😂😂
I hate that these women feel like they have to dress for their husbands. How shallow is your husband if he only wants done up you? My husband finds me equally attractive in sweats after working all day as he does when I'm done up. Or at least he treats me with the same level of attraction and that's the standard for me now.
Mine loves me regardless, but I feel better done up, and he likes me feeling better. But it's also nice sometimes to not have to worry about it and feel comfortable at home with just him. He's one of the only people that would see me that way, as I'm someone who doesn't like to leave my house without a least a little bit of makeup. That's a "me" thing.
I'm so glad that there is push back happening to the trad wife culture. A few women who were one TW and are now single and floundering are speaking out. It's still a huge problem and they actively contributed to that problem, but it's a step in the right direction. Someone on a Nara video confirmed she had a whole ass crew to help her do everything and has a nanny. That's where the problem lies, even though she could get around it with semantics and "Well I never said I do ALL the labor," they still very much present this life as just rolling up your sleeves, tying your apron and putting your heart into the lord, your husband and then family (in that order) are all you need and if you do those things, the rest will fall into place. If they began their videos with a quick disclaimer that this is manufactured content, I believe they could at least garner a couple points for effort. But that would crack the facade. Such a dangerous message to be sending to young women. And a completely foolish image to sell to men who REALLY think as women we're supposed to be like this.
It’s very interesting the way womens survival mechanism in society exists on a pendulum. We are constantly swinging back-and-forth from idolizing to demonizing aspects of womanhood. We’re all trying to survive in late stage capitalism, and we were drowning under the weight of commercial servitude so it’s like we’re shifting towards the exact same amount of work and domestic servitude and trading our autonomy for it and don’t even realize it. I know that’s kind of a reductive way of viewing things but it’s the same as the way we view our own sexuality. We went from demonizing our sexuality to placing it on this pedestal where it could be commodified, and that didn’t work so now we’re moving towards the other way, demonizing women who commodify their sexuality, even though everybody’s just trying to survive
oh i loved that video. Being European i do not really understand the appeal for these trad-wives from the 50s in the US. My grandma was working her butt off while my grandfather was also working his butt off cause after WW2 my grandparents had to build up the country again - like all the men and women from 1945 onwards to provide a better future for their children. you couldn't stay home - how dare they wish such a life on us now. so you could stay home and all that nowadays (providing you have someone that pays for you) but who takes financial care of you when you are older. even if the man does not divorce you - he could have a work-accident and simply not able to work and then what? the woman has no experience non and has to live from the state with minium income. And then there is the retirement age - who pays your bills then. you get the minium retirement if anything at all. working as a woman is simply to put food on the table and lets you buy the things you want instead of begging for an allowance. These women only make content for money -- i do not believe for a second they really live the life they are portraying. being financially independent from anyone is not feminism. These women make me cringe soooo much. and gag for that matter
Studies have shown that men, while dating, are less attracted to women that make more money than they do. It's not a quality men are looking for. Just like men don't look for a "funny" woman though it's a top quality women look for. Men want to be the providers. So when a woman is a "boss babe" men think that they can't offer them anything and feel emasculated by it. I think it's pretty ridiculous but I understand it. But that's why men are more attracted to the "trad wife" lifestyle.
Random comment: I had to mute Nara Smith's voiceover. Plus, I mean, good for her for wanting to go to great extremes to make those meals, but the impression she gives is she decided out of the blue to make lozenges for her child with a sore throat, for instance, and she just HAPPENS to have all the necessary ingredients?!? Edit: I should've watched the whole video. As soon as I typed my comment, you referred to this very thing.
Wow i had to pause after the part about ballerina Farms. Up to this point I had pretty much only heard negative or critical viewpoints regarding her, but your commentary really made me not only re-consider my thoughts on her, but challenged me personally as well. I struggle around feelings of shame around money/wealth, and it was a good reminder to just BE who I am, confidently. 💕
I am not a maid. Just had to say that to start off. I could write a dissertation on the things wrong with this trend. First off it is a 50s fantasy full stop. It is not a traditional marriage or traditional lifestyle. Before the 50s people all lived in clan style multi generational structures. That is actually traditional. And the woman were not just maids, but often running everything for 30+ people and often teaching their kids everything to a very high level. It was complex and not at all like how it is depicted now. Also, a clan structure creates support and backup if done healthily and can also hold husbands accountable for running off. In fact I consider the nuclear family as insufficient typically for raising families. Also, submission of wives is not christian. Biblically the “submission” is supposed to be mutual as a foundation of the relationship. The “man” is supposed to love his wife like Christ loves the church. We know what Christ did so…. And final note Nara Smith is a brand in my opinion.
I can see why a "Trad Wife" would appeal to men. Can she cook? Will she really take care of the children? I'm long past the dating game as I am boomer age when "trad wife" was just called "wife". When I was young there were women who wanted a career... literally Doctor, college professor, Art director. This drove home costs up, until now it takes 2 incomes to buy a very small home. Social media... and the wordl wide net changed EVERYTHING
No man, and I mean absolutely no man, found it a turn off that I'm a doctor. Some guys have told me marriage wise they prefer someone who doesn't work too many hours so they can be more present for the kids, which is my plan after specializing anyway but also these men who told me that aren't marriage material for me as they're catholic and I'm muslim.
Okay that quote is actually really good in the right context. Lauren Conrad answered that way when being interviewed and the male hosts asked her that in like a "gotcha", demeaning way even though she's founded successful companies and done a bunch since her days on Laguna Beach and reality tv
I’m really thankful for so much content being created on this subject. I am a working mom of three beautiful children, and my husband and I view our roles as a partnership. We BOTH do the household work, the childcare and rearing, and we BOTH earn salaries. We BOTH make decisions together. As the mother of one girl, I am so thankful she sees her mother using her degree, earning money, and still baking bread, prepping meals, doing the laundry, etc., and her daddy doing bath time at night, cleaning the kitchen after the dinner, etc. our kids see us plan trips as a team. Dad does the Costco grocery shopping every week, plays guitar with our oldest while he drums, coaches little league, and he still runs a successful company in his 9-5. We don’t have to be just “one” layer as genders and human beings, right? Can’t we be professional women that contribute to the economy and earn an income, and still be great mothers and homemakers? I am! And honestly my husband is my biggest cheerleader in my profession and as a mom. Maybe the solution is to not just find a non-toxic man to build a partnership with, raise boys that watch their dad being a partner to their mom (and vice versa) and they will perpetuate the support and love and equality of the home they were raised in.
It’s entertaining when people get upset at Nara Smith 😅 to me it’s clear the storylines are about clickbait and to create engagement. Common sense would tell you no toddler is waiting four hours for toast. It’s just part of her brand. Not meant to take seriously If you’re taking life advice from someone on the internet when they have no idea who you are or anything about the nuances of your life - that’s your fault. Be an adult and be responsible for your decisions.
Ive always made my own money, always been my own boss. I was married for ten years and during that time i didnt work consistently because i had babies delt with depression from one baby passing and going thru anxiety and weightloss jounery. Not easy but i was the sole care taker of my baby girl and my neice. So when i got divorced it was like a death of my life. I spent so much time in court. I lost who i was and then had to pick myself back up. I'm always able to make money but it was so hard as a single mom with limited help. Now im in another long term relationship (will never ever marry again) we had a baby, again I'm the primary care taker of the children, i homeschool, i make all it good from scratch, i garden. But i also work. So I'm tired lmao 🤣 i don't think I'd ever post to promote such a lifestyle as glamorous, cuz it's not. Im also not religious so i don't play into the men and women roles but we kinda just fall into one column or another, some men are the stay at home care takers, some women are the career Bread winners. But to lift either sex up and keep them on a pedestal like men are gods and women need to be submissive is a joke. Im raising daughters. I teach them every aspect of life. Yes housework very important, self grooming very important, but education, strength, and entrepreneurship very important for me to teach ( im an entrepreneur thats why) theyll be self reliant and strong. These people are fetishes really. Anyone can dream life can be like that but its not. Its what they are selling on aocials and thats all.
literally amen to everything you said!!its not just that some women want to work its that life is expensive both partners HAVE to work nowadays. Its a privilege if one parent can stay home full time. Shaming working women is crazy to me
My issue with the Trad wife is the submissive side. My mum was a housewife, she cooked, cleaned and took care of the kids. However, she didn't cook meals to my dad's every whim, she had friends she socialised with outside of my dad and those times my dad would have to take care of us. She wore what she wanted and had access to the bank account to spend money as she wished. Not that I've every asked her, but I'm guessing she had as much control in the bedroom as my dad (although I live in the ignorance that my parents only had sex three times and that was for child bearing purposes only - anything else 🤮). This control that comes with being a 'trad wife' results in not having your own opinion, like politics, my parents voted the same, but there were some differences to what they agreed on. Trad wife's are basically dolls for their husbands to control and the concerning part is, you have to hope you stay 'wanted' by your husband because if he finds a new dolly to play with, you're f*cked. You will have no money, home, skills and the intelligence may of had, would of been drained. Looks are only going to last so long.
If you are collecting thousands of dollars a month making content about how you care for your husband, you aren’t a traditional housewife. You’re a work-from-home married woman presenting an image to women who may not have the same level of financial independence that you do. These influencers who make a career representing that role cannot speak to the experience of what a “true” ‘tradwife’ faces because of that financial freedom. I think it is fair to make that your role in your home dynamic, but I also think women who lived through being put into vulnerable positions and found themselves “expired” after 20 years of marriage have an equally valid warning. People who have experienced the latter are rightfully sharing those experiences to the younger generations, but in the end, it’s your own choice how you live - come what may.
Totally. It would be more genuine if these women declared what they were doing with their income from this supposed hobby. Like donating it.
I agree 10000% with this!!
Right? They remind me of the Commander's wife in The Housemaid's Tale: her "job" was to be a political activist to take other women's rights away but she herself had a job and felt, that she deserved recognition for all the work she accomplished. Hypocrisie of the highest degree.
So what if the Ballerina Farm folks are wealthy. She is doing the work herself!
Let's not forget they also have an entire production team, merchandising contracts that need lawyers, PR, design teams that decide on the next video, answering questions from other media outlets, administration, marketing, accounting and not least people to look after children at least while the filming is happening and so on. This is a business. It isn't real life. It costs a lot to run that sized business and needs a big workforce. Hence $2.5 million doesn't actually mean 'profit'.
I am a man and did bring up my children with my wife. It was hard for the two of us and we did have have day care while we worked at home. That is the reality.
I also grew up on a farm so I know how unreal the 'farming content' you see on these homestead type set ups is. Farming is hard work, high tech, requires a ton of capital and you don't grow your own food. You grow a small range of commodities in vast quantities and sell it so you can go to the supermarket like everybody else. I am also a trained chef and trust me, a commercial kitchen is not a 'home kitchen'. Look carefully at those cooking videos. That is a demonstration kitchen you are looking at. I have been trained by chefs in demonstration kitchens with an entire auditorium and location filming set up in front of them. It is effectively a film set with sound and lighting and video built in.
Feminism is the reason why they get to CHOOSE to be a trad wife. Without feminism, these traditional wife values would've been forced upon them by their husbands.
The key word here is "choice". If they choose to be a traditional wife it's okay but saying that women shouldn't follow their dreams or they shouldn't be independent is very harmful.
Who is saying women can't or shouldn't work? Some women are follwing their dreams living this lifestyle, they give up their independent lifestyle to join in partnership. Who is harming women?
@@sarahwales6276 Its in the video. Jasmine Dinis... Mallory Vanhorne.... Did you watch it?
Yes, it’s because of feminism that there’s any semblance of financial protection for these women (of course there’s loopholes to get around them)
@@sarahwales6276the heritage foundation, for one thing.
Fundamentalist Mormons too.
Exactly. The freedom to choose a partner who has a strong solo income, to discuss and plan for future marital roles instead of having them be expected of a woman no matter what… that’s feminism. A career-minded woman or one who doesn’t want to have a family or one who juggles both spheres and makes compromises accordingly isn’t better or worse than the lady who dedicates herself to homemaking and child rearing. Feminism is about having the option to be what suits you best.
In the show THE HANDMAID'S TALE there is an episode in which the main character talks about how women's safety is depending on the 'generosity' of men.
If they feel like it, they will 'protect' you from other men ... but once you proved yourself unworthy, they will become the biggest threat themselves.
This was my ex. I had to even protect the many animals he kept bringing home from him.
Yes, when i left my husband my pastor tried to stop me by saying: if he's doing wrong we can help you, but if you leave, it's on your own head what he does to you, you're on your own...
And other threats and creepy remarks.
Did anyone catch the part of the Estee Williams “day in the life” video where she does “basic makeup” at 6:30 am, then goes BACK TO BED for an hour? Only to wake up at 8 to do her hair and makeup again…Like is that so her husband doesn’t wake up to her BARE FACE??😮 That’s some kind of stepford wife training right there😢
It’s all fake.
I love that cleaning was just putting out new towels.
Later there's a video where a tradwife was filming herself removing bread loafs from the oven. Not only were they clearly just placed on the wire racks but I'm pretty sure it was sandwich loaves which need a pan.
What is basic makeup 😮
@@dismurrart6648 lol
THIS IS LITERALLY FROM THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL
When I was a kid, early 90s, my mom stayed at home with 4 kids. She started having these symptoms like she was having a heart attack. When she went to the doctor HE told her, you're having panic attacks you need to get a job and get out of the house for a while. My mom is a great mom, she would and has done anything for us, but sometimes it's not healthy to be home with kids all of the time.
I could not agree with this more! This is one of the things that I advise women that come see me with panic and depressive symptoms and 99% of the time their symptoms improve once they are getting out of the house and doing something for themselves, even if it's volunteering.
While I agree with you, it's kind of hilarious to me that the doctor was like "get a job to get out of the house and be less stressed" when most jobs IMHO are stressful as fuck.
(Like, I guess I would have suggested maybe a hobby that meets outside the home? A yoga class, dance class, or even art class? Idk, I'm glad the job worked.)
@@sholem_bond Not necessarily. Jobs are often a way for people to escape home life, and they provide money. Women having their own money can help them to feel like they’re doing something for themselves and they can save it for emergencies. This is more than just having a hobby.
My mom did that and she was utterly and completely miserable. She was often so frustrated she got abusive (though fortunately not severely). I chose to not marry or have kids myself in part because I was terrified of landing in that horrible trap.
All these honeymooner tradwives who's barely married for 5 years thinking its easy like playing level 1-10 on Candy Crush "This is soooooo easy, why are you struggling?" but when more obstacles are thrown at them, they're like... wtf is this, its not supposed to be this hard.
As someone who didn't grow up in the West, it is MIND BLOWING to me to hear "why did women wanted to work?!" It only depicts the incredible privilege Western women and their mothers grew up under that they can not even imagine "why" a woman would need her freedom!
It’s mostly white women. I’m
Black and working for us is synonymous with freedom. We are told since birth to birth to never rely on a man.
I was put on this earth to live the best life I can. And no one not even my husband is going to tell me what to do. I have been married for 39 years with 2 children and one grandchild. Do what you love and remember no one is going to take care of you but yourself. ❤
How does your husband feel about 40 years of having his needs and wishes totally ignored so you can "Do whatever you want"?
Or did you never bother to ask?
Great video! I don't like the negative rhetoric about how feminism has brainwashed women into being boss babes and that's it. Feminism was created to ensure that women have agency and autonomy in their lives. It's all about having the power to choose whatever life you want to live whether that's a career woman or stay at home, you have the right to choose. We all should have a choice to live our lives on our own terms.
So well written ❤
Yes thank you!!
Exactly.
Love the way you put it 🙌
Something people always forget is that women were always working. We never stopped unless you were in a certain tax bracket where you could off-load the labour to another woman who needed the money. However, the money women earned would either go to her father, her husband, or her son. She couldn't keep the fruits of her labour for herself. She couldn't inherit property, so if her son wanted to make her homeless after her husband died, he could. Feminism didn't force women anywhere. It just ensured that we got what was rightfully ours in a system that's cruel to everyone. If we wanted to work, we had our own bank accounts and money that was ours to spend. If we wanted to share it with our husbands, we could, but it was our choice. If our husbands died, we would have the right to inherit and manage his estate.
I'm a 49yo white guy from the UK.
Just my own opinion but, if a guy can't look after himself by the time he reaches 18+, he ain't worth sh*t, avoid him like the plague.
Now, if he can look after him & meets a woman that enjoys being the homemaker & he is happy being the only income bearer, and he's willing to split his wages 50/50 after everything is paid then that's fine, but anything outside of that is simply a Master / slave relationship.
But that was the whole point of marriage anyway, it was for the man to have full control over his objects / possessions, the wife was never supposed to be seen as a human being but simply property to be used and abused and discarded once a better model came along.
That's the whole reason I would never marry anyone.
What the fuck kind of psychobabble bullshit is this??? Take a bow captain saveahoe.
Wrong divorce is a recent thing, men could never simply 'discard' their wives
Exactly this. My husband left home at 16 to train to be a chef and apart from a relationship many years ago, lived alone and cared for himself and his son when he had him.
I was a teacher when we got together but I’m now a stay at home mum home educating our autistic daughter. We didn’t really plan for it to be this way but it was necessary due to my daughter’s needs.
I don’t mind taking care of the majority of the housework and childcare, he doesn’t mind being the sole income earner. I actually prefer not working.
He still cooks for us and cleans the kitchen afterwards so it’s not all on me and it works because I don’t resent him for his lack of input in the running the home like so many other women have to deal with.
He didn’t force this on me, I was more than happy to take on the role. I think that’s the only way it works.
This trad wife trend is just not authentically how a trad wife would live as I’d bet a lot wouldn’t choose it. They just don’t get the choice.
What? Do you have any idea what housing costs in most western countries? Do you know what unemployment rates are like? What if he want's to go to university That whole post was so mind-bendingly stupid it took m e several minutes to take in how stupid it was.
"if a guy can't look after himself by the time he reaches 18+, he ain't worth sh*t, avoid him like the plague."
That comment is ignorant on so many levels it made my head spin.
Do you know what house prices are like these days?
You’re not broken! A lot of people feel the same as you. I got eloped and have never wanted a kid. We exist, we’re just not as loud as the rest of them.
I feel the exact same! It’s honestly really comforting and reassuring to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. 💛
Yes! 27F here with a satisfying career and busy doing her own thing. Never wanted kids and have absolutely no interest in getting married anytime soon. Very happy being able to do what I want when I want with my own money. :)
Estee's vibe (and some of the other ones) to me comes across as cosplaying the American 50s, it just strikes me as really odd. Like okay, live the life that works for you, but why turn it into some dystopian social media theater where you romanticise and distort the narrative?
honestly it feels very F3t1sh. My issue with her stuff is that she's not preseting it as such and I did not consent to be a part of their bedroom stuff. Its the big differentiation between someone like Nara or Ballerina who don't feel like this is F3t1sh content.
Because money, that's why.
The irony is that all these 1950s ads were prescriptive: middle-class w. women had been employed to replace men at war during WWII and this newfound purpose/activity made them happy. They started to advocate for themselves, etc. and that threatened the status quo. These ads were designed to push these women back into the kitchen and making it look desirable/appealing.
@moustik31 and even before WWII, plenty of low-income women (especially women of color) already worked outside the home, because they had to. It's just that they had no anti-discrimination laws or legal protection against getting fired at any point for a male employee (even from organizations like labor unions in many cases). They were often paid less than male employees for the exact same work, could experience hiring discrimination for things like being pregnant (even after the 60s-70s, women in some jobs were still getting examined by company doctors prior to being hired, to make sure they weren't pregnant), and experienced rampant sexual harassment and even sexual assault on the job. According to the "logic" of the time, this was "justified" because they were women engaging in men's work, AKA work outside the domestic sphere, so what did they expect?
(Plenty of this stuff still happens today, in spite of the increase in legal protections that women and other marginalized groups have in the workplace these days; but it was even worse back in the day.)
I think a lot of the people who support the tradwife lifestyle (a lot of socially conservative people in general, at least in the US) are either in denial or genuinely don't understand that prior to feminism, especially second-wave feminism, even the women who were privileged enough to be housewives were deeply unhappy, even more so after they experienced joining the workplace during WWII and then were in many cases forced back into the home.
Whatever you think about feminism (any wave), it's not an astroturfed movement or conspiracy to destroy the nuclear family or whatever. It happened in every wave because of genuine grievances women have had; otherwise it wouldn't have survived (especially given all the times the dominant culture tried to kill it).
But these facts don't fit into social conservatives' narrative, so they have to claim feminism is a conspiracy by Satan or godless people or Democrats or LGBT people or ((international globalist bankers)) to force women away from the family, their true nature, and God-given social roles.
Nara is 100% filing those outfits as business expenses and if she isn't then she should be. Estee, is absolutely going to convert her male audience to OF in the future. This is a grift for these people. It's cosplay. It's a costume. An actual traditional wife wouldn't even be on the internet like that. The husband wouldn't allow it and he 100% wouldn't allow her to be making money off it.
Estee stated that she doesn’t make money from her content, and then it was found out that she makes around $20k a month, so def not a trad-wife. Nara makes a lot more and has a lot more brand deals. One was $200k.
just a quick reminder for all trad wife enthusiasts: if he doesn't set up a portfolio in your name with etfs and stocks, it's a scam. he should provide for you even after the relationship ends.
You should also get a portion of his income to put in your own savings account just in case. If he can provide then he better provide.
Well stated!!
As a 26 year wife whose income has never been enough to provide for myself (it’s always been play money if I work). My recommendation if you live in a no alimony state like I do. Make sure your name is on houses and cars as well… if he starts his own business make sure you help and keep records. These are not things I’ve ever had to use, but I learned many lessons from my MIL.
I feel the same way re married and kids and I've not for a second thought I'm broken, i kinda love life!
And your own retirement account. And your own savings account, better yet have it in someone else’s name (like your mom) to retain a divorce attorney and have the finances for a drawn out divorce if need be. Have your name on everything. Go over family finances and keep records of all of your assets, perhaps in your own safety deposit box.
People should understand that social media is just entertainment not life coaching. The sooner they realize this, the better their lives will be.
I agree and that’s the part no one really talks about. People have to learn to not be so personally affected by other people’s lives and take social media with a grain of salt whether people are lying online or not. I find some people who are anti-influencer to be just as extreme as some extreme influencers, seeing it all in the comments.
For some of these women who are attractive and charismatic, social media is a great business. They can do it from home, when they make more money they can hire employees, they can get brand deals and marketing revenue from multiple sources. Social media is hard, time consuming work, but these ladies have found a lucrative niche in it.
@@sarikagoode1505 I don't care what if social media is a business to them. To me they are still entertainment, not role models or life goals.
The issue with ballerina farm was that she pretended that they’ve achieved all that on their own but turned out she’s the offspring of one the wealthiest families in US and actually there are people that are hired to work and maintain that farm
But she never pretended anything of the sort.
Tbh, so what? No one is obligated to follow though 🤷🏼♀️
A friend recently told me about this ballerina farm. She'd been following her for a while genuinely believing that she was taking care of it all by herself. Even if she wasn't lying, she was creating a deceitful image.
@@AZ-gs7xb yeah I understand that. Maybe my point is people just need to stop assuming things about influencer!
To me, to feel that someone has been deceitful to you, it feels like, you’ve trusted someone that you’ve never seen in your life.
Someone can be aspiring to you, you can find some lifestyle aspiring, but you have to be able to adapt that thing to your condition and not aspire to have exactly what the other person is selling online.
Maybe I’m just too old (31) to understand that mentality of being deceived by someone I don’t know which means I don’t really care about that much 🤷🏼♀️
@mamamalet It might be not related to the age, I myself am 33 and the person I told about is over 40, so it must be about the degree of skepticism people have. However, t's hard to constantly challenge every piece of information that comes your way (which is actually right), it's time and energy consuming. People also tend to believe what they want to believe. Having said that, I wouldn't shift the responsibility, the guilty one is the one who is trying to sell a fake image or an idea.
My mother was a stay at home mom. All I remember of my childhood is how hard life was. My mother is disabled and couldn't work, so her husband supported all of us. Money was always tight, dad was always stressed and in a terrible mood, and my mother's anxiety could be felt from the moment I walked in the house.
Being a stay at home mom can probably be satisfying for those that can afford it. But when I hear these women talking about relying on the husband's for everything I can't help but cringe.
It depends who your husband is, your Mothers life doesn't need to be yours.
@@sarahwales6276 if you're an adult your wellbeing shouldn't depend on someone else's mood. I get if someone's disabled, but any other case? a disaster waiting to happen
Most women have to work. I ran a daycare out of my house when my kids were little. I went back to teaching when they were school-aged. I also ran summer camps out of my house. Most women don’t have choices.
@aleksandrawilkos1278 Is that what you think marriage is, when a woman's husband works outside of the home while she works inside of the home? Her well being is depending on someone else's mood? Your view of marriage sounds limited and based on your own negative experiences.
@@sarahwales6276This economy makes that obvious.
Sorry, I laughed so much when she said “I stopped wearing pants”
She means skirts and dresses, right, but I was like….”oooh well that’s not very modest” 😂
Pants means knickers where I am from so I thought her big statement was stopping wearing underwear!
A lot of this tradwife stuff is a f3t1sh thing, so that wouldn't surprise me either 😅
Honestly, it just always feels like "I'm pretty and Feminine enough to be loved and not have to work" vibes. Basically another competition for women to focus on where everyone fails eventually because youth and beauty will go away and you'll be another object to be replaced.
Respectfully, this sounds like a DEEP hater take. And this is the side no one talks about: how a lot of women envy trad wives (& many influencers, feminine & attractive women in general) because of their looks, lifestyle, and femininity. Because people think “their life is better than mine and it’s not fair”. Listen, another woman’s life, beauty, and lifestyle is not making yours bad. So what if they are pretty and feminine enough to not be loved and not have to work? Why is that an issue? Competition isn’t being promoted? And just because the are negative stories about trad wives doesn’t mean everyone is going to “fail” and they will “be another object to replace”. That’s projection and too many women look for negativity in other women/women’s lives to make themselves feel better. We are not all the same, everyone isn’t down bad and getting done bad by men, and we are not glued together. I’m not even pro trad wife like that, but some of these takes like this are petty. A lot of y’all really gotta get a grip and learn to stop comparing yourselves to other women, studying their lives, hoping they fail, and do you, unless true critique is needed. Some of these takes go past honest critiques and scream hater and cope. I’m genuinely not trying to be mean or disrespectful, but this comment was really out of pocket. Hope you take it with some thought. Peace and God bless.
A friend of mine thought she was beautiful enough that a doctor who turned me down nastily (he ended with a fine in court) would treat her better. Turns out: no. He just hated all women and told her she should just loose weight.
@@Lemonscentedandclean no, it's because we women to be safe.
There are consequences when people mistake money-making cosplay for regular householding.
If stay at home wives are depending only on their beauty and "submissiveness", and are not using their skill sets in the professional world, they are extremely dependent on their partner. If the partner is controlling...if the marriage fails...
better have a pre-nup., oh, but a pre-nup doesn't fit the trad wife image...
Ughh that’s exactly it! I fully support anyone who chooses to be a homemaker, but this content feels off!!
@@Lemonscentedandclean This is not a hater take at all. It is no secret that media is a competition meant to inspire jealousy, but the key is a lot of it is fake. A lot of these trad-wives are the bread winner, hire maids and nannies, and do not do what they show on a daily basis or even at all. It’s not hating to point out what’s really going on.
It only takes one (now ex) partner to financially abuse you to make you realise that financial freedom is the most important freedom.
👏
Lol felt that at 42:10 currently a medical student AND also currently teaching anatomy and physiology as a professor. I literally cannot imagine my life in any other way. If a man wants to say I'm not a "real woman" then okay sure sir, you can just call me "professor" or "doctor" instead, thank you.
Same!! I’m an undergraduate right now and planning to do a PhD any go into research after. Like sorry for wanting to do good for the world and solve some big problems.
❤️
I'm not a doctor or professor, so I would just go "you're right, I'm imaginary".
Enjoy growing old alone with your cats then boss babe. 🙄
They mean youre not feminine. That's what they mean by that.
My biggest concern for people being Stay at home isn't even just "what if he leaves you." That can happen sure. He can turn harmful, all sorts of nastiness can happen but women after this life don't think that will happen to them.
What if you are set up decently and happy and he gets cancer? What if he gets a brain injury or other disability. Some of them are marrying significantly older than themselves. If he's 20 years older than you, when you are 55, he will be wanting to retire. Are you ready to get a job at 55 to get insurance for yourself? What will you do when he passes and his social security is no longer there?
Frankly, if I was hiring for a job and the persons work experience in middle age was entirely being a housewife, I wouldn't hire her for anything more than basic work. Not because being a housewife is bad, thats still work, but because you've 0 evidence that you can operate in an office environment and the rules here are different than when you are the boss of the house.
Exactly. This isn't even assuming that the husband will turn out to be abusive - I'm sure that many men enter such relationships with the best of intentions and that the arrangement can work for many couples. But things happen [edit: as in things like accidents and illness and bad economy etc] and you have to be ready to take responsibility for yourself. I also wouldn't want to put the pressure of being the sole breadwinner on my partner because... I'm a grownup and why should he bear that burden on his own?!
@@AW-uv3cb its heavy on my mind today especially because we have a guy at work. He was playing flag american football and someone fell into him and broke his neck. When they tried to move him a piece of bone severed an artery. He is stable and can even sit in a chair 2 weeks later but he has a wife and 2 kids. They now have to move into a smaller house, we are raising money for them, but they have so many sudden debts.
When he got hurt, he was playing a fairly low contact sport. Sometimes life throws random tragedy at you and it disgusts me that someone like estee is trying to convince people into a situation where random accidents have an easier time destroying your life.
The thing about ballerina farm is not about whether she shoved it down your throat. The problem is the power of suggestion. It's subtle, but its influence builds over time. This kind of lifestyle is possible for her because she has a headstart. This is unrealistic for her 8 million followers.
He isn't your husband babe, why are you concerned? Like why do you care???🤌🏼🥺
@nicoobrowner59 lol why do I care? Because my grandma fell in that trap and her husband almost went family annihilator. The effects of which are still felt generations later.
Because my coworker just broke his neck in a freak accident.
Because I used to do kink stuff and every woman 40 or older who did 50s housewife stuff would explicitly tell people "NEVER make this a reality."
But honestly? I don't care what you or anyone else does. If I tell you you shouldn't buy an not, I'm not saying that because your finances actually matter to me. I'm saying it because you're getting conned.
Honestly, I'm guessing you're a teenager if you think everyone telling you not to do something is saying so because they're bothered by you living your life. No if you go through it and in 20 years you are working at 3 Walmart tier jobs just to keep above water, I won't know or care. And neither will the types of guys who tried to convince you it's a good deal.
An influencer's job is to sell something to their audience. Some sell products while others sell lifestyles they don't participate in. Kind of like van life influences only live in their van when they're filming or traveling while still owning their own homes.
In the words of Ibsen: "Not all women were born to be mothers (or wives) "
When I was a teen my dream was to have an independent life, nice cottage in a seaside town with my rescue animals.
I love children and elders also and have worked with both groups. To each their own.😊
That’s a beautiful dream!
@@eowyn237 thank you 🤗
I'm a housewife. I stay home, cook, clean, take care of the house and children and, yes, I submit to my husband, biblically. I also make a small extra income by working from home part time as a customer service rep. That income doesn't refute my status as a Homemaker. I used to work full time outside of the home and I was miserable. Modern feminism has made both men and women miserable.
Absolutely no one is born to be a mother or wife and that's a stupid way of thinking. You can't be born just to make sure someone else is born and no one is made just to serve another person. I know that's a hard concept to grasp since parents only want to have kids to serve their own needs in the first place but yeah love, that's not how human existence works.
Nobody on this planet was born to be a parent.
@@southernmama7606you wouldn’t be able to work at all if not for feminism, so quit acting like you have a single clue what you’re talking about
I think the Tradwife movement does a real disservice to men. Maybe THEY would like to stay at home, raise the kids and keep house. I know that happens sometimes, but it's far more rare. From the time a boy starts school, he is basically told that he has to grow up and provide. With my husband, I went through a rough patch and was out of work for about 6 months. My husband gave me the grace to do this for a limited period of time. Then, after trying and failing to learn how to make the perfect pie crust for the 20th time, I was like "Screw this! I'm better off working!" I went back to my nursing job and now I outearn my husband and neither of us have a problem with this. For the record, he's 59 and I'm 54. We both contribute financially and, to be honest, he does far more of the cooking and cleaning. I think we are doing pretty ok! I have NO desire to take time out of the workforce again.
Hi Caitlin! I'm not worried at all about these influencers: they are just rich and privileged enterpreneurs. I'm so much more worried about all that girls and women who are forced by men in this "stay at home/trad wife" role: I'm from Italy and this scene is quite common in the Souther regions where girls tend to marry and have kids at a very young age, leaving school or work...this just makes me sad and angry.
The thing is they romanticize the trad life , everything is fluffy, cute and floral, many woman watch these videos , and thinking I want to be a trad wife don't realise that these woman either come from wealthy backgrounds and are making money from being a content creator , also there's a lot of people in the background helping these woman, so if there husband's leave them then financially going to be set and ok, but the majority of woman who watch these trad videos , get married give up work college etc and rely totally on their husband's one day the husband's leave and there totally screwed and wonder what happened , why, suddenly there homeless and broke , never ever ever rely on a man alone
Oh there is 100% a difference between being a SAHM and a trad-wife!
I'm a stay at home mom because I chose to leave my job because at the end of the day my income would literally all go to child care. I know and love that I have the privilege of being able to do so because my husband's income is enough for our little family. But we both do our part at home both with domestic labor and raising our child and every decision about our life is based on what we BOTH want.
I agree with you overall. I wanted to mention that it's not as simple as "women can be housewives if they wish". The vast majority of housewives don't do it by true personal choice, and also it is one of the worst ways to trap yourself not only financially but also by multiplying the possibilities of domestic abuse and most importantly of not being able to get out of it.
They re not “trad” wives, they are earning money online so keep some autonomy.
true dat. the ones on the internet, yes. but there are real women irl who are.
The irony is that the influence or triad wives are actually boss babes in disguise
@boo-fb1dk well, yeah....but this video is about influencers.
@@mika628 thanks captain obvious. I didn't know there's a rule that I'm supposed to comment ONLY on one topic
Check out Titus 2, the Biblical “trad wife” earns income towards the home.
At a certain age you can see the reality of this kind of content. What I’m worried about is young girls finding these videos and getting the idea that they should live to please a man.
Yeah, even if it's obvious to most people that these women aren't adhering to a true tradwife lifestyle, a lot of young people see what influencers do and try to implement it in their own lives, even if that's a stupid decision. It's a concern that lots of young women might try being tradwives for the same reasons they tried life hacks or diet tea; their favorite influencer did it. Even if that's stupid on their parts; a lot of people make stupid choices sometimes, especially about internet-related stuff.
@@sholem_bond The worst thing has to be the influencers encouraging being a sugar baby. It's literally sex work and they're not warning any of their viewers about the risk of doing that.
@@grandempressvicky6387 It’s all bad, and I can’t stand how influencers aren’t showing the reality of any of these lifestyles. trad-wives often end up divorced and struggling to scrape by. SB end up used and feeling numb. Neither is a pretty reality.
They are sadly. I've gotten into online arguments were these young women were convinced people are judging them for not wanting to work when in reality we are warning them of the likelyhood of abuse. I hate how tiktok romanticizes so many things.
The husband submission part and having to always ask your husband permission for things and where you can go is the most likely to be emotionally and mentally damaging. Giving up your anatomy everyday over basic decisions makes no sense when the couple could agree in advance a fun budget she has for the month to go out, which wouldn't take away her everyday freedom 😅
That is absolutely not what true submission is. Trus submission is biblical submission, and it works perfectly. Of course, because God is perfect so His ways are perfect. The key is to marry the right man; a good, godly man who you trust and respect. Open the Bible, your heart, and pray. Then the way will be made known to you and understood.
The fun budget would still fall under submission
The Bible was written by the patriarchy.
@@southernmama7606 And for those that aren't neck deep brainwashed with god things, nymphetaminegirl is correct.
@@Itsnotworthit-cd2kb true.
Girl, half of the men in this world think having a large wedding is a nightmare! Why are we embarassed to admit that half of the women feel the same too? 😂😂😂😂
The inherent irony in saying this is their choice - exactly! It’s YOUR choice. I can appreciate that, but it’s not MY choice and I wish society would stop telling me it should be.
I’d love to see these women using the technology that was available in the eras they idolise so much rather than all the fast and easy gadgets they have access to these days. If they had to use a washboard and a mangle they’d change their tune really quickly.
EXACTLY!!!
This is such a bizarre take...
@@mors_ontologica_9242it’s not though. These influencers are glamorizing a life that will get most women abused, in all kinds of ways, while not showing the actual ugly, back-breaking labor that was done in the 1950’s.
This is so true!!!!
This is a thing people forget. Being a homemaker/SAHM is way more work when you're not using modern technology or a lot of modern products/ingredients (see also: "crunchy" SAHMs today who don't use stuff like microwaves, or any pre-prepared ingredients/stuff that's not "GMO-free." I don't think this is inherently better, and I think these people often engage in practices or subcultures that are harmful, but I can vouch that it's a lot more work, and much harder to do alongside a job outside the home).
What people don't understand is that being a housewife should be something natural, which comes along with the natural experience of the couple, and not imposed. It comes from a need (whether personal or couple's), and not from an obligation. My mother has always been and is a housewife, she left her job to take care of the children (because she suspected that the nanny didn't feed me right and didn't take care of me right), but she always told me to have my money, to have my security and always told me about her insecurity about being left with nothing at any time. Being a housewife is a necessity arising from the couple - just as a woman needing to work also comes from a need, and not an obligation. The choice should be talked about and considered, and not made out of fetish, as they said. Greetings from Brazil! Love your content.
I had to change course and stay home because my child had a lot of therapy appointments. I always told my daughter to make sure she always has FU money for the unexpected.
No matter what you do for him as a Woman, if you give an inch he'll take the entire wirld from you.
Nara whispering gives me the creeps. It's very questionable when she made sun protection.
That's so dangerous. You can't make sunscreen at home and the reason it had no white caste is because the zinc didn't bind in.
She basically just made suntan lotion
She makes the Weirdest things. I want her to make good food like say She tries making continental or greek or something like indian if they like.
Why waste time on sunscreen😢
If you go back long enough in her feed you’ll find she only started talking like that last year
@@AliciaLarriera still super creepy. I’m astonished people follow her and think she is a trade wife.
@@randomlyswatching9481 imagine being hu gry wanting breakfast and someone makes home mad cereal. 😂
Hello Caitlin!! I am a military wife married for 18 years, I am a mother and I have no profession. (I immigrated to the United States from Brasil after I got married ) My husband loves me and I love him, but I am starting to get worried about the future. I have a wonderful life, I receive many gifts. I can go to any fancy store and buy whatever I want, but the moment my husband doesn't love me anymore and doesn't find me attractive, all this will end. Your video on this subject opened my eyes, thank you!!
Please make sure you put money aside for yourself just in case
Its concerning you feel this way about your man. Im a stay at home mom. And I can confidently say my man will never leave me when I get old and unattractive. If your husband truly loves you you will grow old together.
I was a trad wife twice. Now I am in school and building a business in my late 40s and I have nothing. I live in an Airbnb because I have no credit. Do not ever give your worth to a man...as soon as you hit 40 he is going to leave your ass...I promise. Go to college, get a job, cook homemade bread on the weekends. Period.
So absolutely no judgement because, imo, you were conned and im so sorry. What was the reason you did it and did it twice?
In NY State the women end up better than the men in divorce.
@Arelene4HO citation?
@@sholem_bond Trust Me Bro magazine
Thankyou for sharing this! I wish you much success for your future your business and education ❤️
Wow can I just say you have NAILED this video. Thank you thank you! 🙏🏽 also on the reality of the tradwife. My mum unintentionally was I guess a trafwide. She’s had a little jobs but didn’t earn as much as my dad. And unfortunately my dad passed suddenly, so my mums been left with nothing. No back up. 60 years old and suddenly with no career or job.
It’s toxic this tradwife movement to rely on a man for income. Thank you for this video ❤
Thankyou so much for watching ❤️
Only a narcissistic man would be okay with the "trad wife" lifestyle.
Yeahh cause he has a pretty little slave at home and still does whatever he wants with other women... Been there unfortunately, it was brutal when I found out where I got myself into... Thought I was living the dream, but it was such a nightmare... Women, please don't fall for this!!!!! 😢
I absolutely love my partner. He’s my rock, a wonderful dad, the whole 9 yards. I am however, happy I have a job, I have something to fall back on. I don’t like working, it’s extremely hard, plus I take care of most of the house care since he works thirds. But the comfort of knowing, I got me, is unmatched.
I've been a stay at home, my kids are now 8-15 and my husband is currently (hopefully temporarily, for his sake) unable to work for health reasons. I'm working from home, working on a degree, while he's taken on domestic tasks. I absolutely cannot WAIT to get a better job, outside my home. Cannot wait to be leaving every day for work. 🤣 Love my family, but it's my turn!
Do not make your own sunscreen… many other DIYs found online are harmless but don’t play around with sunscreen!! They are hard enough for professionals to formulate - you risk improper protection and skin cancer when you treat something so serious as an arts and crafts project.
Yes THIS! Kinda disappointed that Caitlin didn't acknowledge how dangerous that recipe is
Yeah and honestly while some forms of it seem to be "mild"/easy enough to treat with healthcare access (my mom has had several apparently-cancerous skin growths just lasered off by a dermatologist), skin cancer is still no joke, and it can be partly hereditary.
(Especially since I think I remember hearing that the hole in the ozone layer has started growing again, so more UV radiation is making it through to us?)
Thankyou!
The thing that gets me about the comments on a stay at home wife vs a stay at home girlfriend is yeah... as a wife you get a bit more security but honestly, not much. I've heard way too many horror stories about women who were SAHW and got kicked out with nothing, the husband found loopholes and ran off to avoid paying a dime and left his wife and kids homeless. Going to court to get your husband to pay his fair share is expensive, and SAHW don't have their own income, so how would they get the law to hold him accountable? Marriage isn't security, either. Your own money, skills and ability to have your own income is the best security.
Not to mention that rich people are STINGY. A rich conservative man? Even stingier. You can bet that he will pay his lawyers to find every way out of paying anything to an ex-wife, even if their kids are on the line (if he doesn't just take the kids from you).
If girlfriends want to stay at home it is up to them. If mothers want to do it, it’s up to them.
However, if you break up and he leaves you with nothing. That’s on you as well
Feminisms goal was for someone to be able to choose. If you like what you do great but like someone else commented you still make money, you’re still influencing and get paid to do so. And a Nara Smith isn’t making cereal from scratch because her child asked her to. It’s content, it’s money. But if you’re stuck in an abusive marriage but get told no that’s how it’s supposed to be that’s the harmful situation many people still face even today and perpetuating that kind of image is harmful when it’s not the reality for so many millions of people.
jordan & mckay have a great video about ballerina farm. she is not a homesteader, in my opinion. the issue (one of them) that i have is that with ballerina farm, & trad wives overall, i do think she is trying to make this life look accessible when it is not.
also imagine thinking women's rights/feminism is entirely based on the right to work. dear god.
Yeah, she married into a billionaire family. She carries zero risk associated with actually making a life farming or homesteading, but fakes like her life is hard
it's not about it being accessible,it's about it being beneficial,I don't mind a woman staying at home for sometime till her kids reach a certain age where they can go to school,like first grade,and you can go back to work after,so that you can. Still have some sort of financial independence, just in case your husband leaves you, or if the marriage doesn't work out,or if he becomes sick /disabled
@@purplelove3666is it actually beneficial
"She makes it look accessible when it's not." Exactly.
Whether she means to make it look that way or not; because she's an influencer and so some people see her life as aspirational, that's a problem.
I’ll have to check that video out Thankyou ☺️
I am so happy you’re speaking on this. I’ve been working since I was 15 and now turning 27 next month. I feel absolutely horrible about myself esp recently because I’ve made a career for myself. Such a weird thing but lately it’s a “shame” for any woman to consider herself hardworking or independent.
I'm a 61 year old woman worked for 35+ years as a healthcare professional. Retired early.
Now I don't work at all.
Live life on my own terms.
I think what's important is having a choice. Find a partner that is on the same page and do whatever makes you and him happy, if you want to be a housewife, be a housewife, if you want to have a career, have a career.... Understand the pros and cons and implications with the decisions you make.
I'm a stay at home and this content IS offensive. I do all of these things extremely well, including caring for an aging parent. I get virtually NO credit or respect from men or women, just patronizing 'isn't that sweet' remarks. If I were 23 years old, blonde and buxom maybe it would be different. Wait until these girls (average age?) have done this for a few years and we can re-assess. I can't wait until I have the opportunity to get back out of the house and join the workforce again.
Exactly well said and blessings on your days X
Nara stole her content ideas from an African content creator named Onezwa and passed them off as her own then sent the African creator a threat for calling her out as a THIEF!! The other lady is a chef and made gum, mozzarella, boba and homemade cereal and had the soft voice esthetic and Nara stole her whole vibe and esthetic and passed it off as her own. Stealing ideas and content isn’t knew like the YT girls who become famous for copying blk dances yet the real creators got nothing. It’s unfair, but there’s nothing to be done since you can’t copyright it. Nara is a thief.
Oh I had never heard of this content creator I’ll have to look her up
Womp womp curb your anti-White racism 🤡
I can't believe how twisted these women's minds are! They cherry-pick and combine information in such a way that many people can relate to, and never doubt that it is just a marketing strategy. They appear to be authentic for the show and proceed to sell stuff to their followers, even though it contradicts the values they seem to stand for. Who is to blame, though? The people who mindlessly consume anything on the internet or these conmen who are starting to build whole businesses on fake authenticity?
I am a woman’s who went to a university and proudly received my degree. I worked for 14 years in a corporate job. I was the boss of a large company with 24 direct reports. A year ago I made the decision to leave my job and focus on my two babies plus my health. Let me say it is serious hard work. We are business owners and am blessed to not be burdened financially. However I totally underestimated being a housewife. It is serious hard work. I’m on call 24/7. It so incredibly difficult to get me time to even go to the toilet. My kids are both under 4. These trad wives are so full of crap. In all honesty you still have a responsibility to yourself to be financially secure, make your own decisions. It’s wreckless to completely depend on a person for everything!!! That’s how so many women loose themselves. This is all another scam. These people are making so much money by selling this lifestyle.
You need to have your husband contribute to raising the children,I am sure you didn't go to a sperm bank to become a mother,
I feel like this quote adds to a lot of this discussion, “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.” LG. I hope these women have good partners, because there is little to nothing stopping these men from up and leaving them in the dust.
Ummm, no.
Your career will literally never tell you it loves you or comfort you when you are sad. It will just use you up, suck you dry & then spit you back out when you are too old to be of use & it won't care for you in yr old age either, people.
I work to live, not live to work.
I mean, it might, depending on the career. Capitalism is fun that way.
Trad wife content = only fans with clothes on
@@sholem_bond
Depends what field it is. Pretty well guaranteed as a healthcare professional.
You think your employer "loves" you and will never "break up" with you?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I agree with what you said in the video. I don't mind it if a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mother/wife. As long as they don't expect every other woman to do the same.
I also feel like these woman who are a little more toxic (like the examples you provided) don't really understand the history of those times. Yes, the '50s were famously known for the suburban housewife. However, in cities and other parts of the nation, many women did work. It was dependent on your socioeconomic status. A lot of women in the lower social class did work outside of the home and in factories prior to that time. Women on farms helped their families take care of the farm and crops. They didn't just sit inside all day taking care of the home.
But I guess they just ignore that part of history...
I recently saw a video from an exmormon creator. She shows that adsense for words like mormon, utah, trad wife and other mormon related terms are very high paying. Like the word catholic was $5 per click and mormon was $25 per click. Thats why I think we see an influx of tradwife content because it pays so well.
This is so interesting! Do you have the name of the Mormon creator? I’m interested in checking this out!
@TheMichelleBooth Her name is Alyssa Grenfell, and on her channel it's a video called "Why are there so many mormon influencers" it's a great video, hope you enjoy.
“Dishes” proceeds to unpack dishwasher I cant
Yeah not what the 40s-50s tradwife was doing for clean dishes
At least as an American/USian what is frightening about the “trad wife” trend is that it is coming in tandem with very real political efforts by the far-right (which has taken over mainstream conservative spaces) to restrict women’s rights. When there are successful efforts to restrict women’s access to abortion and contraception, restrict various civil rights and equality measures that try to level the playing field, it’s hard to look at some of this trad wife content in a vacuum. It is also not actually accessible for most women as shown in this content, which is highly idealized and romanticized. Most one income households struggle immensely to keep the lights on and food in the table. I’m concerned a lot of young women aren’t being realistic about where things actually stand economically and socially and may be relinquishing their autonomy and ability to thrive for a fantasy.
Exactly this! This is why I find even "non-problematic" trad wife content creators concerning and a Trojan horse (of course except satire accounts).
Social media is being used as an indoctrination tool.
Trad-wives influencers are definitely part of the alt-right/far-right pipeline: their goals is to radicalise the younger generation.
That is the impression I get as well. That said, it isn't just coming from the right. The left of politics also have a social political fantasy of the mother as 'homemaker'. Look at any form of extreme socialist dictatorship in the 20th century. Women were always pressured to stay at home, bear children, have their rights subjugated to men.
All dictatorships know that if you can capture the women, then you get their children and men have to follow. It is about control but being presented as a 'virtuous life' that you women should aspire to.
Womp womp libturd
I’m faulty too 😂 I’ve never fantasised about a wedding, or marriage (if it happens, it happens if not, then not). But I personally don’t think I would ever meet a man I would trust enough to be a trad wife - I just value my independence too much too. So I think I’m broken too. But I’m almost 40, so I guess it is what it is! 🤷🏼♀️
@@samco63
Not "broken" at all!
Wise, very wise!
I want to be your friend
@@gugunkosi9481 Me too lol 😆
@@gugunkosi9481 internet friends! Wish there were more people irl
@@onimendez7735 I hope you’re right! I always think that about other women who make those choices,( but I guess it’s easy to doubt yourself. Thanks for your comment though
I think the cool thing about social media is that you can earn money while staying at home.
I was born in the late 50's. After marriage, my mother never worked outside the home. Dad handled all finances and gave my mother an allowance for personal use. That was necessary for a variety of reasons, but I knew that would not be my future. When I discussed finances with my fiancé we agreed that I would handle bill paying, savings, etc., and within reason, either of us could purchase things without clearing it with the other. We had one bank account, and we both had access to everything. At times, my husband earned more than I did, and later, I earned more than he did. It was all ours from the beginning. Worked for us. I personally don't care what others choose to do but trad life would not be for me.
nara’s voice is so grating i absolutely can’t stand listening to her
I’ve watched quite a few videos on the subject, but this was definitely the most comprehensive and covered a lot of things I was not aware of. An excellent job.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thankyou ☺️
I am working single mom, proudly. It is of course very hard for me. But, I can never imagine myself as trad wife, never 😄.
Thanks for sharing your input 😊
And thats why your a single mom instead😂 you didnt plan before having a child. Let me guess you baby daddy was abusive. Says all the single moms. Studies show single moms raise kids worse then single fathers and mom and dads together. Good job on making poor life choices . I do wosh the best for your kids though. There going to need it.
At 45:33 tell me why I thought she was gonna say there is one man that should be providing for us…. His name is…. Jesus 😭😂😂
I am a woman. I had a small wedding. I didn't want a big wedding. We had it in a local garden with just family. You're not broken or alone.
I am watching this as i eat breakfast in bed my husband made me
@@Greatmount 👏 that's a true man/husband ! You're both blessed to have each other 💕
👏
Another fantastic video from Caitlin! Honestly this makes me very sad. My mom was a public school teacher and she says she that her prayers for me when I was a baby was that I would have a wonderfully satisfying career (as opposed to prince charming). Her dreams came true and I couldn't be more fulfilled. It is my ultimate nightmare to depend on someone else for anything - be it the state or a man. I find this content toxic at best.
Thankyou for watching ❤️
Haha I’m a ‘broken woman’ too, Caitlin 😂😎 you’re not alone! I never dreamt or fantasised about marriage and kids.
🤢
I hate big weddings too
Watching this while cleaning and cooking after work 😂😂
I've been struggling to find some new commentary creators that I like. I came across your channel and I can't believe you don't have more subscribers. I appreciate how each chapter has it's own deserving place in the video; how there is a purpose behind every word and clip. Keep up the good work!
Thankyou so much that really means a lot ❤️
The thing that gets me in all of these arguments is just the privilege. Who can actually afford one income in this climate? Not your average person anyway. And the whole "trade wife" ooohhh I do all of the cooking cleaning house work childcare...........do they honestly believe that working mothers don't do all of those things on top of their paid jobs???? It's such rich people problems and it's boring. Great video tho
Thank you for this video! I've seen many people speaking out about this topic but you really took a deep dive here and mentioned a lot of important topics that many others haven't mentioned such as that this is not only idealization but fetishization and how the reality of this lifestyle really used to look like, not the ideal picture that people think of when imagining the role of women in the 50s
I've just heard too many stories of "good" men leaving their middle-aged wives high and dry for a younger woman. I know of several people personally who this happened to. I know of younger men who cheated on their younger wives and ruined the whole relationship in less than a month. I know of men who have been divorced and remarried 3-4 times before the age of 40, and they had a kid with each of these wives! I wish I could trust men. The truth is, it just isn't smart or sensible to put all your eggs into a man-shaped basket and to hope for the best. Women have to protect themselves. Financial self-sufficiency is the only sensible thing to pursue.
Happens alot. I see it on the Over 50 travel site on FB.
I will always remember what my grandmother said to me "you will grow up in an time where you can be who ever you want to be, don't waste it". She was a "traditional" stay at home wife married to my grandfather for 50 years, birthed 13 children she was never mistreated and she was miserable. I think there is a fine line, marriage needs equal respect it doesn't matter if you stay at home or work as long as you are compatible and are both on the same page. My grandmother felt stuck because she wanted to do things but it was the era of life that prevented her. I enjoy your content Caitlin, I subscribed today.
A guy asked me to be a tradwife once. I just couldn’t picture listening to him because he was quite simple minded and dull. Could not ever give up my rights to live under a man, no thanks
Your gagging reaction is so relatable. More videos like this Caitlin!!
OK, as a Christian wife (working part-time in academia, no kids yet), here's my opinion on each of the influencers featured here:
- Ballerina Farms: a well-off girl doing cottagecore aesthetics, good for her! She seems to put a lot of thought in living out the aesthetic.
- Nara Smith: hate her model face, her TikTok voice and her sense of style, but love her smiling face, her recipes and her personality. At this point, I'm convinced she's either ragebaiting or trolling, this is way too avant garde to be real lol.
- Estee Williams: been uncomfortable from the first time seeing her vids, and only recently pinpointed why - can't shake off the feeling that I'm watching fetish content in its purest form (all this prancing and looking at the camera and smiling invitingly). Also, can't help but wonder if she uses eye drops to make her eyes appear bigger and more doe-like - again, for the male audience.
- Gwen the Milkmaid: pendulum swung from one extreme (OnlyFans) to another (quaint domesticity), just waiting for it to rest in the middle.
- The rest of tradwives that just show off their homestead lifestyle: cool cottagecore, enjoy it girls!
- The rest of tradwives that throw shade at feminists and talk about women's responsibilities to men: Pearl Davis is a bad role model, girls.
wait you’re so right about estee!!
Youre jealous that a woman of colour got a hot rich yte man. 😂😂😂😂 Hating someon3 for their face??? Be fr
The Female Led Relationship sphere needs to make itself more visible - it’s how we can fight back against this trad-wife stuff.
I am a stay-at-home mum at the moment and I can't wait to get back to work. I am getting depressed and can't wait to get back to work, even part time. I had to stay at home because of the "big 2020 event" and my child got a deadly illness so I was the one staying in hospital. But my husband lets me do whatever I want, I get most of his money because I trained in accountancy so I am better at managing budget. And I will always encourage young girls to have a stream of income and always improving their skills, even while staying at home.
Married 25 years- we respect each other and have both worked to build our lives. I am still in love with my husband- we both do chores and he loves to cook! I cant imagine living this way! Arguments aren’t a bad things and usually leads to the best make up sex!!😂😂😂
I hate that these women feel like they have to dress for their husbands. How shallow is your husband if he only wants done up you? My husband finds me equally attractive in sweats after working all day as he does when I'm done up. Or at least he treats me with the same level of attraction and that's the standard for me now.
Mine loves me regardless, but I feel better done up, and he likes me feeling better. But it's also nice sometimes to not have to worry about it and feel comfortable at home with just him. He's one of the only people that would see me that way, as I'm someone who doesn't like to leave my house without a least a little bit of makeup. That's a "me" thing.
I love your breakdown & input & comments of this video. Very good. Thank you
I'm so glad that there is push back happening to the trad wife culture. A few women who were one TW and are now single and floundering are speaking out. It's still a huge problem and they actively contributed to that problem, but it's a step in the right direction.
Someone on a Nara video confirmed she had a whole ass crew to help her do everything and has a nanny. That's where the problem lies, even though she could get around it with semantics and "Well I never said I do ALL the labor," they still very much present this life as just rolling up your sleeves, tying your apron and putting your heart into the lord, your husband and then family (in that order) are all you need and if you do those things, the rest will fall into place.
If they began their videos with a quick disclaimer that this is manufactured content, I believe they could at least garner a couple points for effort. But that would crack the facade.
Such a dangerous message to be sending to young women. And a completely foolish image to sell to men who REALLY think as women we're supposed to be like this.
It’s very interesting the way womens survival mechanism in society exists on a pendulum. We are constantly swinging back-and-forth from idolizing to demonizing aspects of womanhood. We’re all trying to survive in late stage capitalism, and we were drowning under the weight of commercial servitude so it’s like we’re shifting towards the exact same amount of work and domestic servitude and trading our autonomy for it and don’t even realize it. I know that’s kind of a reductive way of viewing things but it’s the same as the way we view our own sexuality. We went from demonizing our sexuality to placing it on this pedestal where it could be commodified, and that didn’t work so now we’re moving towards the other way, demonizing women who commodify their sexuality, even though everybody’s just trying to survive
oh i loved that video. Being European i do not really understand the appeal for these trad-wives from the 50s in the US. My grandma was working her butt off while my grandfather was also working his butt off cause after WW2 my grandparents had to build up the country again - like all the men and women from 1945 onwards to provide a better future for their children. you couldn't stay home - how dare they wish such a life on us now.
so you could stay home and all that nowadays (providing you have someone that pays for you) but who takes financial care of you when you are older. even if the man does not divorce you - he could have a work-accident and simply not able to work and then what? the woman has no experience non and has to live from the state with minium income. And then there is the retirement age - who pays your bills then. you get the minium retirement if anything at all.
working as a woman is simply to put food on the table and lets you buy the things you want instead of begging for an allowance. These women only make content for money -- i do not believe for a second they really live the life they are portraying. being financially independent from anyone is not feminism. These women make me cringe soooo much. and gag for that matter
Studies have shown that men, while dating, are less attracted to women that make more money than they do. It's not a quality men are looking for. Just like men don't look for a "funny" woman though it's a top quality women look for. Men want to be the providers. So when a woman is a "boss babe" men think that they can't offer them anything and feel emasculated by it. I think it's pretty ridiculous but I understand it. But that's why men are more attracted to the "trad wife" lifestyle.
Random comment: I had to mute Nara Smith's voiceover. Plus, I mean, good for her for wanting to go to great extremes to make those meals, but the impression she gives is she decided out of the blue to make lozenges for her child with a sore throat, for instance, and she just HAPPENS to have all the necessary ingredients?!? Edit: I should've watched the whole video. As soon as I typed my comment, you referred to this very thing.
Wow i had to pause after the part about ballerina Farms. Up to this point I had pretty much only heard negative or critical viewpoints regarding her, but your commentary really made me not only re-consider my thoughts on her, but challenged me personally as well. I struggle around feelings of shame around money/wealth, and it was a good reminder to just BE who I am, confidently. 💕
I am not a maid. Just had to say that to start off. I could write a dissertation on the things wrong with this trend. First off it is a 50s fantasy full stop. It is not a traditional marriage or traditional lifestyle. Before the 50s people all lived in clan style multi generational structures. That is actually traditional. And the woman were not just maids, but often running everything for 30+ people and often teaching their kids everything to a very high level. It was complex and not at all like how it is depicted now. Also, a clan structure creates support and backup if done healthily and can also hold husbands accountable for running off. In fact I consider the nuclear family as insufficient typically for raising families.
Also, submission of wives is not christian. Biblically the “submission” is supposed to be mutual as a foundation of the relationship. The “man” is supposed to love his wife like Christ loves the church. We know what Christ did so….
And final note Nara Smith is a brand in my opinion.
I can see why a "Trad Wife" would appeal to men.
Can she cook?
Will she really take care of the children?
I'm long past the dating game as I am boomer age when "trad wife" was just called "wife".
When I was young there were women who wanted a career... literally
Doctor, college professor, Art director.
This drove home costs up, until now it takes 2 incomes to buy a very small home.
Social media... and the wordl wide net changed EVERYTHING
No man, and I mean absolutely no man, found it a turn off that I'm a doctor. Some guys have told me marriage wise they prefer someone who doesn't work too many hours so they can be more present for the kids, which is my plan after specializing anyway but also these men who told me that aren't marriage material for me as they're catholic and I'm muslim.
great job Dr! Keep being awesome and find someone who compliments you.
The misunderstanding of the word submission is unbelievable, but hey to each to their own. We don't all have to fit in into one box.
Okay that quote is actually really good in the right context. Lauren Conrad answered that way when being interviewed and the male hosts asked her that in like a "gotcha", demeaning way even though she's founded successful companies and done a bunch since her days on Laguna Beach and reality tv
I’m really thankful for so much content being created on this subject. I am a working mom of three beautiful children, and my husband and I view our roles as a partnership. We BOTH do the household work, the childcare and rearing, and we BOTH earn salaries. We BOTH make decisions together.
As the mother of one girl, I am so thankful she sees her mother using her degree, earning money, and still baking bread, prepping meals, doing the laundry, etc., and her daddy doing bath time at night, cleaning the kitchen after the dinner, etc.
our kids see us plan trips as a team. Dad does the Costco grocery shopping every week, plays guitar with our oldest while he drums, coaches little league, and he still runs a successful
company in his 9-5. We don’t have
to be just “one” layer as genders
and human beings, right?
Can’t we be professional women that contribute to the economy and earn an income, and still be great mothers and homemakers? I am! And honestly my husband is my biggest cheerleader in my profession and as a mom.
Maybe the solution is to not just find a non-toxic man to build a partnership with, raise boys that watch their dad being a partner to their mom (and vice versa) and they will perpetuate the support and love and equality of the home they were raised in.
It’s entertaining when people get upset at Nara Smith 😅 to me it’s clear the storylines are about clickbait and to create engagement. Common sense would tell you no toddler is waiting four hours for toast.
It’s just part of her brand. Not meant to take seriously
If you’re taking life advice from someone on the internet when they have no idea who you are or anything about the nuances of your life - that’s your fault. Be an adult and be responsible for your decisions.
Caitlin, great video! Thank you! You're as always 100% right!❤
Ive always made my own money, always been my own boss. I was married for ten years and during that time i didnt work consistently because i had babies delt with depression from one baby passing and going thru anxiety and weightloss jounery. Not easy but i was the sole care taker of my baby girl and my neice. So when i got divorced it was like a death of my life. I spent so much time in court. I lost who i was and then had to pick myself back up. I'm always able to make money but it was so hard as a single mom with limited help. Now im in another long term relationship (will never ever marry again) we had a baby, again I'm the primary care taker of the children, i homeschool, i make all it good from scratch, i garden. But i also work. So I'm tired lmao 🤣 i don't think I'd ever post to promote such a lifestyle as glamorous, cuz it's not. Im also not religious so i don't play into the men and women roles but we kinda just fall into one column or another, some men are the stay at home care takers, some women are the career Bread winners. But to lift either sex up and keep them on a pedestal like men are gods and women need to be submissive is a joke. Im raising daughters. I teach them every aspect of life. Yes housework very important, self grooming very important, but education, strength, and entrepreneurship very important for me to teach ( im an entrepreneur thats why) theyll be self reliant and strong. These people are fetishes really. Anyone can dream life can be like that but its not. Its what they are selling on aocials and thats all.
Thankyou for sharing this
You have been through so much and you are so strong
To hear your story is so inspiring ❤️
literally amen to everything you said!!its not just that some women want to work its that life is expensive both partners HAVE to work nowadays. Its a privilege if one parent can stay home full time. Shaming working women is crazy to me
That woman explaining it as fetish i agree with so much 😂
My issue with the Trad wife is the submissive side. My mum was a housewife, she cooked, cleaned and took care of the kids. However, she didn't cook meals to my dad's every whim, she had friends she socialised with outside of my dad and those times my dad would have to take care of us. She wore what she wanted and had access to the bank account to spend money as she wished. Not that I've every asked her, but I'm guessing she had as much control in the bedroom as my dad (although I live in the ignorance that my parents only had sex three times and that was for child bearing purposes only - anything else 🤮). This control that comes with being a 'trad wife' results in not having your own opinion, like politics, my parents voted the same, but there were some differences to what they agreed on. Trad wife's are basically dolls for their husbands to control and the concerning part is, you have to hope you stay 'wanted' by your husband because if he finds a new dolly to play with, you're f*cked. You will have no money, home, skills and the intelligence may of had, would of been drained. Looks are only going to last so long.
The truth is that being submissive isn't a super power eventhough urent abused or cheated ..it's like superior and inferior nothing much