Should I Stay Stealth? FTM Trans
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- Опубликовано: 10 окт 2024
- To stealth or not to stealth, that is the question.
Hello everyone! Today's video is a very honest chat about something that I am currently struggling with. I think it's one of those things that now I've spoken about it, it'll be easier, or I at least hope that'll be the case.
Are you stealth? Have you always been? Were you stealth and then decided to come out freely when you wanted? Let me know in the comments!
Instagram:
/ thesamthatiam
i’ve been wrestling with this a ton, as well. on the one hand, i feel like my history is so important to who i’ve grown to be, and so being stealth can be like this uncomfortable editing of my past, which, as you said, can get tiring and difficult trying to keep all the stories straight. on the other hand, there are aspects of being openly trans that make me feel uneasy (i’ve been working on writing this comment for a bit now, trying to figure out how to be more specific, but haven’t had luck. i’ll try to come back to it later) and times that i just don’t have the energy to explain/prove myself. i guess for me it’s wanting that control about with whom, and when, i’m vulnerable.
I definitely feel like vulnerable is a good word for this tbh. I've enjoyed having that control too and I guess I still would be stealth to some people but I'm wanting to just be real with more people, especially on social media.
This is totally relatable. I am on T for nearly 1,5 Years and try to stay stealth wherever possible, bc I think this is my life. I had to learn that I am also an important person I have to are about, and the benefits of not outing and be seen as a regular guy are huge for me. At least at this station of my life.
Yeah definitely! I think it's all a fine balance to strike
Incredible video!
Thanks!
I know what u mean but I dont find it a struggle as such. About half people in my work know. And I didn't feel like I had to say anything. Only to my manager. Best time to come out is if u have Friday drinks, Christmas party or whatever. I just usally say if it feels like a good time and I want to. I'm more worried about telling someone I date which is y I always give my Snapchat only to start with
Thanks for sharing Danny! Yeah I can imagine those would be good times. I think you're right that when a moment feels right, you should just go for it and I'm hoping that I'll get to that point soon too
From an outsiders perspective you sound very self obsessed and also stuck inside your own head. The overwhelming majority of people around you will care much more about what they are going to have for lunch than your's or anyone elses back story. We have a near unlimited number of descriptive attributes to our identity of which gender identity is but one and should be mentioned when relevent.
We can process only a finite amount of information in a day and a fraction of that capacity is spent on conscious thoughts. Getting into a recursive thought loop of worry will just exhaust your mind.
It's not self obssessed, so much as a deep consideration around safety. I'd love not to give a crap, but unfortunately the trans people being attacked and murdered for being themselves do make me have to consider how open I am about it. It's tough having your mere existence being considered controversial or political and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to protect oneself from that.
It's not something that plagues me all the time but merely a needed consideration. It's been many years since that video and I go a lot more with the flow of things now.