10 Helpful Tips for Atheist / Religious Couples
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
- 10 Helpful Tips for Atheist / Religious Couples
Hemant Mehta (www.friendlyath..., / hemant )
"In Faith and In Doubt: How Religious Believers and Nonbelievers Can Create Strong Marriages and Loving Families" by Dale McGowan
www.amazon.com/...
ISBN-10: 0814433723
ISBN-13: 978-0814433720
Let's talk about 10 ways you can make those relationships last.
1) Don't try to convert your partner. Encourage his or her autonomy.
Go ahead: Discuss and debate your beliefs. But you have to respect your partner's decision even if it doesn't align with your own. Even if you think they're wrong.
2) Talk about your differences of belief as early in the relationship as possible.
Maybe not on the first date. But not too long after, you should talk about what you both believe. And don't believe. And how you might want to raise children. And how you react to issues that intersect with religion like gay marriage and abortion rights.
3) Work out agreements about shared practices like church-going and parenting.
If you're an atheist, are you going to be okay if your partner celebrates Christmas and Easter? If you're religious, are you going to be okay going to church alone? Are there dealbreakers? Figure that out.
4) Focus on your shared values
Even if you disagree about life after death and how the universe came to be, odds are you overlap when it comes to how to live your life. Those values come into play every day. On the other hand, existential questions are interesting... but they probably don't affect you in your day-to-day life. So focus on where you both overlap.
5) Make sure personal respect is non-negotiable.
Sure, your partner's ideas and beliefs have to earn respect, but your partner deserves it.
6) Engage in and learn about each other's worldviews
Just because you disagree, don't just ignore your partner's beliefs. Make sure you know and understand exactly what they are. It's not just about respect. It's a way to learn more about the person you're spending the rest of your life with.
7) Remember that the opinions of believers don't necessarily match up with the views of their church. Similarly, the opinions of non-believers don't always align with that of prominent atheists.
You can be a Christian and support marriage equality and think the Bible isn't meant to be taken literally. You can be an atheist who thinks faith is a force for good in the world. Don't assume someone's pastor always speaks for them.
8) Raise children with the freedom to choose their own religious identities. Expose them to different beliefs and traditions.
This isn't confusing. Far from it. Show your kids what each of you believe and allow them the freedom to explore those beliefs -- and others -- as they grow up. Eventually, they're going to have to decide for themselves anyway. Let them know you'll love them no matter what they choose. So many of us grew up with parents who were disappointed with our decision to leave their faith. Wouldn't it be great if you knew they accepted you no matter what?
9) Support and protect each other from any disrespect from people who share your worldview, especially extended family members.
Maybe you respect your partner's views, but that doesn't mean your parents do. And that could make for some awkward family gatherings. If that tension arises, you need to be the first person to defend your partner.
10) Spread the word!
You're you're someone in a atheist/secular relationship, you're in a unique position to dispel negative stereotypes about your partner's views. So when your pastor says atheists are immoral, correct him. Or when your atheist friends say religious people aren't intelligent, correct them.
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My grandmother is christian and my grandfather is unofficially agnostic. They have never pressured each other and have been married for almost 60 years now.
How does one officially become agnostic?
@@sovietbot6708 I think that when you admit to your family that you are agnostic, you officialy become agnostic
@@somerandomguy7546 he probably kept it to himself, out of respect of his wife's beliefs?
I remember when I was little I asked my mom "What is an Atheist?" She only said "Someone that doesn't believe in god" And being a little guy, I was like "How can someone not believe in god?" 15 years later, I decided I was an Atheist and wasn't really surprised when my parents got dissapointed. Still. Remembering that time when I asked that question is something funny for me.
'decided'? 'DECIDED'? For many it's simple: they no longer believe a gods evident or necessary for existence.
DECIDED?!
viczio I don't remember when I first heard the word atheist, but I remember not believing in God at 9. I don't think I knew that was atheism, until maybe a couple years later.
Ricky Spanish I think he was using "decided" as a synonym for "realized." In a colloquial sense, "decided" sometimes doesn't necessarily imply a clear cut choice like choosing whether or not to eat some ice cream. You can "decide" to agree with a certain philosophy, but that doesn't mean your decision wasn't a result of being convinced it was the truth. A decision is not always synonymous to a choice.
Ricky Spanish Well, I could have chosen to force my self to keep believing like many other people out there. Katie made a good point, it was more of a realization rather than a choice. It was the way I decided that the evidence was not good enough for me, therefore, I realized there was no god. Does that make sense? ;^^
*****
That classmate of yours is dumb, if he thinks that atheists don't celebrate birthdays or holidays, because I'm an example of an atheist who celebrates Christmas and some other holidays.
4 Quickest ways to ending a friendship or relationship.
Talking about religion.
Talking about politics.
Going into business together.
Living with someone.
WulfricUlfang M #5 Marrige
+WulfricUlfang M true fact
Bouta hit 3 outta 4, lets go!!! :,)
My friend group consists of two Mormons, a Catholic, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, someone who was raised Atheist, and me, someone who became atheist. We all get along fine. Occasionally well have a disagreement, but we usually forget about it. No one tries to convert one another, and no one calls another person a sinner (except as a joke sometimes...).
Payton Miles my friend group consists of 4 atheists, 2 unsure deists, 2 Muslims, 3 Hindus, and 4 Christians. We all respect each other and love hanging out.
I just came out to my girlfriend as an atheist and she didn't dump me on the spot soooooo I guess there is hope?
Edit: nvm she didn't know what an atheist was. We're no longer together.
lazyDude77 Aw man, I'm sorry :(
WigglyWoo she was no good then. Find yourself a girl who accepts you! :)
That's great man! U wer saved from a massive waste of time.
Bro im late but, my boyfriend is an atheist and im christian. Idk what to do brooo💔😭 i cant i cant stand him
The same thing is happening to me rn, it sucks man
As an atheist who has been in a relationship with a person of faith, our appreciation of each other overpowered any differences we had in our religious views. It actually was not unlike my relationship with a vegetarian, me a devout hamburger eater. It actually can be a source of humor.
I think it should be pointed out that doing things that have a religious basis such as occasionally going to church, will not go into your brain and corrupt your own views. I have gone to church on many occasions at the request of a friend or loved one, and each and every time I entered the church an atheist, and I exited the church an atheist.
"devout hamburger eater" that made my day
"has been" ? what happened ?
+Katie Anderson Is that really you in the profile picture ? Because that is not what a "devout hamburger eater" looks like...
My Husband is an ordained Minister and I am an Atheist... we have a fabulous friendship and marriage. I respect his viewpoints and ideas and he respects mine. We have a very unique and organic background which created a beautiful relationship. We constantly talk and share our ideas regarding world views, philosophy, religions and our life experiences.... I adore my Husband!!!
How long have you been married?
Do you have kids?
I'm an atheist and one of my good friends is actually a pastor. We're not a couple but we do have a relationship. And he's more than happy to hear my perspective from an atheist standpoint. And I'm happy to hear his perspective from a Christian point of view. Although we disagree on some things, that's just one aspect of who we are. We share an interest in music, we enjoy each other's company and we seem to get along pretty well. I don't think we've ever had a serious argument.
When I met my boyfriend, months after, he told me that he was an atheist. I was actually surprised because I never thought that I would meet someone who doesn't believe in God. Before I met him, I wasn't that religious anyway. He actually told me that he was going to believe in God just for my sake and started praying. I told him that I don't want him to swing away from his own beliefs. After some time, I became curious of what was Atheism is like and after 3 months of him telling me what Atheism is like, and I realized that it was actually okay to do that. And I've told you that I wasn't really religious before I met him, I learned the word Agnostic, so maybe I was really Agnostic back then but now because of him, I am actually now glad that I became an Atheist.
+MilkTMP Sweetest story ever !! Thank you for sharing.
great story
Thanks for sharing great story!
Nowadays all your friends are atheists and even your teachers at least for me
i have no problem with athiest just that i once had a co worker who was a athiest they came ranting into our classroom insulting other peoples faith in christ and in god they also were ranting on putting down peoples faith in the classroom i didnt like them because some of it was offensive i respected their right to say it their free speech to do so but some of it was pretty offensive they made references to catholics and was saying the catholic church made up god and how it was a conspiracy and how their was no son of god or christ and that it was a myth and were ranting on about it yeah some of it was pretty offensive i took offense to some of it myself i wouldnt describe myself as a church goer but i am christian by faith but i am very open minded to other cultures and view points it doesnt mean i have to believe what they believe but i will respect their right their freedom of religion since it is allowed by the bill of rights the 1st ammendment and the constiution but i was glad to have them out of the classroom i did not like them i have many freinds of different faiths mostly online i chat with as freinds i respect their beliefs i have a freind who is a athiest he became a athiest i respect his right to do so but i also do not like the kind that are racist agianst other faiths and people they were racist prejudice agianst christians and other minitories races and genders .
All the christian videos I watched about that topics were just like 'no, it's not possible to date an Atheist, he'll try to get you away from your beliefs' and the video by an actual Atheist just shows, that it doesn't have to be this way and that differnt religions can be respected.
my fiancé is actually a catholic.
and we reconciled our differences by putting our beliefs aside. she sees me as the man who has qualities that she likes and I have a personality that she connects with. and I see her as the woman who has qualities that i like and a personality that I really connect with. our children will be baptized catholic, however, they will be left to decide there beliefs after that.
I get along well with her family because they ignore that I'm an atheist and put more value in the fact that I have good, logical morals.
Mixed relationships. You're doing it right.
Have you discussed how you want to raise your children, because I feel like that is the challenging part to having an interfaith relationship.
How is the marriage currently? Are you still together?
we are going to let our children decide for themselves when they get old enough.
and the marriage is going quite well.:)
@@LucasVe208 I broke off things with my gf of 6 years because I couldnt get past the fact she didn't know God. I'm absolutely heart broken.
As an atheist in a relationship with a Christian, it can be very tough. I do believe that trying to understand each other is the key to making the relationship work, it's just that both of you need to work with each other.
My atheist boyfriend actually admires the way I express my religion; there is a lot of mutual respect and love. Would I prefer it if he believed in God? Probably. Does it matter? No.
+NomzNoodle Why can't more girls be like you ? When science perfects human cloning, I'll get 10 clones of you ;) .
I would like to talk to you in private ?
I think that is a good thing but my only problem with that is if you call yourself a Christian then it is unbiblical not to care and be with someone who would be considered an apostate. I would just have a hard time reconciling that
My boyfriend of just two years is Atheist. And I am a believer AKA a follower of Christ...raised in non denominational , attended youth ministry, youth conferences, youth camp, been a youth leader, seen the skinny jeans wearing pastors, popular guest speakers, mega church ...you name it CULTURE ...but I’m an actual person of FAITH. (Not religious mind you...there’s a big difference )...
My partner and I both tend to want to walk in love and understanding and THAT has brought us together. We aren’t disrespectful towards one another. We offer non condescending validity towards each other’s perspectives and life experiences and we both strive to be seekers of TRUTH...intelligence isn’t the enemy and Faith can be profound. We reconcile this daily.
I’m just saying if you’re an Atheist: not all Christians are mindless, ignorant drones stuck in a cult American Christian culture, worshipping a bi polar deity (I admit there are a lot of those tho)
But If you’re Christian: not all Atheists are committed to selfishness and God mocking (though some are...because of Christian persecution)
Perspective and inclusion are key. Even if we don’t progress further together in our lives, I’m still more than certain that this relationship has enriched our lives for the better...made us MORE tolerant, honest, analytical, long suffering and in true Unity...this comment is for a particular type of Atheist and believer/Christian ...those that seek truth and make space for ‘inaccuracies’ and humility and faith...and LOVE
Are you two still together?
@@Unxpekted We are now married haha :)
@@sonyaharris948 any advice for me a Christian dating an Athiest?
@@Unxpekted Oh boy, I'm just a stranger online, but I'll still answer this...first off, results may vary haha
And my opinion is of the perspective that you want to remain a believer & date a non-believer...
1. Pray and trust.
If you love God, trust & have FAITH that God/they has your back no matter what and what is meant for you is meant for you!
Own your faith. I realized that I carried others ppl's faith & opinions & experinces and didn't have enough bravery to exercise my OWN. But I caught on quick!
If others look down on U, try to shame U, are condescending...remember God see's the best in you & does not abandon you! This is tough & no shame, if the potential loss of community is a dealbreaker for you!
But, if ppl start to ghost U, realize they're still LOTS of other ppl ( more loving Christians) who will authentically love U and UR partner for who ya'll are & NOT for how U blend in w/the group.
2. Own your decisions, be honest w/ yourself & don't fear making 'mistakes'
You will be OK!! (I say this because there's a lot of fear preached if u date an unbeliever (loss of destiny, personality, purity, heart break whatever, you name it!)
If there's a problem in the relationship work on it and grow! Be brave :)
If things are toxic or problematic (harming you, taking away your joy, disrespectful)
Be brave & end it respectfully...
FYI majority of those fears ppl said would happen...NEVER happened in my case...but I also don't tolerate mistreatment from anyone, I will peacefully walk away from abuse no matter if its coming from a person of faith or atheist.
Know that whatever your choice is or what the outcome is, you’ll be OK. God is Love and a friend and resource.
3. Make peace w/ your partner being on their OWN journey.
U will disagree and most likely U will be more challenged or offended by their perspectives, than visa versa haha. It's OK, breathe, LISTEN, reflect and grow!
If their life journey leads them to Christianity/faith Ok.
If it doesn't, Ok.
Either outcome you will STILL show love to them if your together or if you break up! Let love (God) be at the root of things.
This sounds blasphemous to some lol but honestly its allowing ppl to be who they are and you love them for who they are...IMO closer to Godly unconditional love and loving your neighbor as yourself. But if this feels like too much disharmony, no shame in communicating that to ur partner, and you guys get to talk it through! Practice being a team.
4. Lastly, be open to your life's journey. This person is in your life for a reason :) you BOTH will grow...hopefully positivity, but be determined to learn and thrive and live happily and enjoying the gift of life & its experiences. Keep walking in love :)
@@sonyaharris948 wow screenshotted all of this! Thank you so much! Incredibly thorough and what I needed to hear ❤
I'm an atheist in love a muslim man. The way he practices his religion is beautiful to me. His faith and optimism are inspiring. He tells me that my inquisitive and empirical mind are why he fell for me. We will discuss religion but not debate it, because neither of us are trying to change the others mind.
girl if only you know who much I read about muslim and non muslim relationship, I hope there isn't a problem with his patent toward you being an atheist
I wish you all the best girl
Carmen O'Toole and where is your boy from ?
Ditto :)
Carmen O'Toole I hope he treats you with respect, isn’t violet, and hopefully doesn’t celebrate 9/11 otherwise your screwed.
That's really nice, you're really lucky!
As an atheist I have difficulty imagining seriously dating or even marrying a religious person. The philosophical and ideological divide between us would be a too great of a barrier in forming a deep, understanding relationship.
Agreed. I probably wouldn't mind a boyfriend/husband who was agnostic or deist, but anything more would make things pretty awkward.
Wawagirl17 Actually, deists are not *that* bad. Most deists don't care so much; they just want to believe "just in case".
Dakota Graftt I personally don't think those two things are separable.
But many times a person's beliefs or lack of belief greatly influence their personality. They're not always separable. While you can love and care about someone while disagreeing with their beliefs, its foolish to pretend they don't matter at all.
Dakota Graftt I couldn't agree more
my wife and I have been married for 38 years. She was raised Catholic and then became a born again Christian. She new I was an atheist before we got married. It has never been an issue. We loved each other and we dont try and convert each other. Her family has excepted me by believing I am too nice to be a true atheist:) We dont care what they think, so I just go along with them. We dont have any children, so it has never been an issue for us. She no longer attends church, as she sees the hipocrocy in their activities, but I have been to many services and I just view them as any activity I dont actually participate in.
+The Atheist Voice I made a huge mistake. I dated a girl for 17 months without telling her I was an atheist, and now she has doubts about our ability to continue dating. For one, she feels betrayed and disappointed because I didn't tell her. I dodged the question and subject very well, and allowed her to believe that I was a Christian, but in the past year I had a lot of trouble about not telling her. I felt bad and like I was living a lie, having to tip-toe around the subject because I was afraid of her reaction. Not all the reactions I have gotten from people when I tell them I am atheist has been welcoming, the most prominent and hurtful being my own mother, who looked at me as if I had climbed out of the depths of hell itself. I wanted to tell her early on, but I felt as if our relationship shouldn't be defined by our religious beliefs, but rather based off the personality of each other and our moral compasses, which are very similar. But now... now she doesn't trust me. On top of that, she doesn't see how a future together would work out without conflict. While I truly am sorry for not telling her sooner, I don''t see it causing total relationship failure. I also think that we could continue the relationship despite our religious differences, but both of us would have to be respectful of each others beliefs and that we're probably not going to change. I'm just so lost and worried now...
+theguyshadows What ended up happening with your relationship ? I'm quite curious, after I read your comment :) .
***** Uhhh, I think you're suffering from paranoid schizophrenia dude. I am aware of what the Bible says and the inconsistencies of believers and what they actually do. Despite our differences in beliefs in religion, I believe we share the same principles. We love each other, and I support her beliefs.
Radu Murzea We're broke up on December 21, but we're working on it. She said she needs time to get over the hurt and to rebuild trust. However, she still loves me and wants to date me, but she needs to think about her soul. With Christians, you have to remember that they loved Jesus, first and foremost, before they even meet their humanely significant other.
***** You're making an assumption that my mother doesn't know I'm an atheist. My immediate family know I am an atheist and we have had various discussions about it. Most people aren't psychopathic killers, so I don't fear being killed in my sleep by my own mother. I think you have some warped view of what all Christians are like, which is simply not the case. We have had discussions, and we agree on a lot of principles. To put it simply, we click together, and being around her brightens my day.
I've been with my wife for nearly two decades. I am an atheist, she is a religious Jew. We both grew up orthodox Jews but by the time we met as teenagers I was already not religious and within a few years of getting married I was an atheist. However, to orthodox Jews there is little difference between not being religious and being an atheist so the graduation wasn't a shock or a bad thing. We had discussed the idea that I was religious and that she wasn't. We decided that our beliefs are ours and that we would respect each others right to believe or not believe whatever we wanted. We discuss it all the time because atheist activism is a big part of my life. She really enjoys hearing about it and while she's a believer, she truly understands why I don't believe and readily admits that she believes largely because she was brainwashed and would feel guilty and scared to not believe. Somewhere in her is a non-believer but I don't push it nor do I care if she ever decides she doesn't believe. We have children and raise them to be free thinkers. I don't care if she teaches them religion. They are even in a religious school. My two oldest are pretty sure that god doesn't exist but I really want them to come to that conclusion on their own. When my oldest, 12, asked me if God is real I didn't say no. I explained what I believe and why and told her to talk to my wife about my wife's beliefs. I also told her that she needs to examine the evidence and draw her own conclusions. It's extremely important to me that my kids aren't told what to believe. The religion issue is huge to both of us but for some reason we manage to really work out the fact that we have vastly different beliefs. We have what we would both describe as a perfect marriage (for all intents and purposes). I think the biggest reason is honesty. We have always been honest about what we believe and what we want from the other and our relationship. Our kids aren't confused and understand that different people believe different things and that's okay. My wife knows what I think about religious beliefs but she also knows that I respect her like no other.
So there is hope after all...
Well said, my friend. I knew it could be done.
Thank you for making this video. This is great advice. I'm a Christian and my fiance is an Atheist. We've been trying to understand each other better and learn how to accept our differences in beliefs. This is already helping us. Thank you so much!
Are you both still together? How is the relationship?
My parents have been married for 21 years.... religious/atheist couple. my mother never is very much outspoken about her beliefs (she prays and goes to temples, at her own convenience), and my dad accompanies her occasionally, but doesn't pray with her. as a physics teacher, she kept her religious beliefs and her job very much separate. I was raised knowing both my parents beliefs, and was open to choose any side. and it has works wonderfully. I became an atheist, and my mom was not at all disappointed. even my extended family (all of them are religious) don't really care, except for my great grandmother. overall, i have an incredible relationship with my 'mixed' family, i couldn't be happier with thier choices.
I feel having parents of differing beliefs would be good in some ways cause you'd be exposed to both worldviews and likely wouldn't feel as bad about saying your a Christian or an atheist
I wouldn't care what religion my kid would be, as long as they treat everyone with respect, love and understanding. In the end, all that matters is they must be good people.
I really needed this video in my life.
Atheist/Religious couples can exist happily, it just depends on the personalities involved. For me, my wife being a Christian doesn't have a negative impact on my view of her. Granted, when we married we shared beliefs, but she has also come to accept my opinion. Even if she remains a Christian, our discussions have gone a long way towards her understanding that our kids should be able to learn about and choose their religious beliefs on their own, and she has come to also set aside misconceptions about atheists and understand some of the biases we face.
She sometimes has difficulty separating herself from her beliefs when I criticize them (even if not directly to her, but just in my activity on social media). It's understandable, so I try to impress upon her that I still respect her as a person.
What did you and your wife decide to do about church attendance? How did you teach your children about religion and about not having religion?
@@sobriquetsunshine7585 also curious
people deserve respect not ideas
A lot of these things are also really important for platonic friendships - one of my best friends is very devoutly christian and I'm a pretty hard core atheist and we still have a great friendship!
Thank you for this video. I am a Christian who is dating an Atheist and although you didn't give me any new ideas that I'm not already doing, you did verify that I am helping my relationship to be as successful as possible. :)
Are you two still together?
I have to disagree: religion should be a first date (or even pre-date) topic. There's absolutely no reason to cultivate a relationship with someone, falling for him/her, only to find that he/she believes something which completely negates your world view. No matter how wonderful the person might be, life with a creationist Evangelical Republican would be hell on earth for me (and I'm sure I would be equally hellish for him).
We need to move beyond the idea that religion and politics are somehow taboo subjects for "polite" conversation. For a healthy relationship, you need to find someone with whom you're compatible. Waiting to discuss this doesn't make it easier.
+Cassandra'sCurse I disagree about doing it on the first date. It just doesn't fit at all for that situation. If the other person has a more extreme view on this matter or if they have a fundamentalist thinking, you will be able to see it in their behaviour and choice of conversation topics.
Personally, I preffer to not enter into the subject earlier than date nr. 4 or until you label yourselves as boyfriend + girlfriend.
Radu Murzea Date #4? Really? I'm not trying to be insulting, but if something's important to you, shouldn't you make sure your potential life partner is on board (or at least tolerant) fairly early on? My husband and I were engaged by Date #3 (unusual, I know, but we're still together 17 years later).
I just find it odd when people say they won't talk about religion or politics. Honestly, these are the two most influential and important forces in human civilization. If you ban these topics, what do you chat about? "How 'bout them Mets"? Maybe it's having grown up in an interreligious household (Dad's Jewish and my mother's Catholic), but nothing is more thrilling or more telling about whether this partner might be the "one" than a good old religious debate.
+Cassandra'sCurse I think when to talk about religious views or the lack thereof is relative to the daters. If you fall in love quickly it may be best to have the descussion early on. If not than wait a while. I agree with you. I am a Christian therefore I have a hard time dating an atheist, especially if she is an anti-theist.
I dated an atheist for a while. We had "fun" for a while, but as things got serious she revealed that she was an atheist. We eventually broke it off because my faith is important. It would be important that my wife shares my beliefs.
There's a saying "A relationship is not looking loving into each others eyes moving closer together, but standing side by side looking to the horizon and moving toward it together"
dwayne stewart Yes, I suspect that people can casually date or be close friends without having long discussions about religion. However, if you think this person might be the future mother/father of your children, it's really time to "have the talk." In this culture, we're raised to believe that true love conquers all, and that's just b.s. My parents have an interreligious marriage, and every holiday was a non-stop battle. It was quite miserable. One thing I would caution is that when young couple first marry, neither may feel that his/her faith is important. In fact, many actively try to put it in their past and attempt to craft new traditions with the spouse. The problem comes when children are born and grandparents on both sides begin pushing for their grandchildren to be brought up in their faith, and the previously secular parents may feel, out of nostalgia or guilt, a desire to continue faith based family traditions.
This topic is so much easier if it is tackled upfront and easily in the relationship. You don't want your four year old hearing Mummy called, "A superstitious pagan" from one side of the family while her father is called a "Christ killing heathen" by the other half. Have a game plan.
+Cassandra'sCurse I think such things are relative to the couple and family on question.
I would never call names especially where kids can hear.
i'm a christian and my boyfriend is an atheist. we're kinda like, hardcore on our beliefs? we've managed to stay long in our relationship and we've learned a lot about each other. and we exchange our views on how we see things. but the things that makes me sad/annoyed is because he doesn't respect me. like, every day he shares atheist posts ridiculing a lot of christians. i mean, if he doesn't love my God, he doesn't need to shove it in my face. i wish he'd just keep it to himself. i never posted anything against atheists. and I don't look down on them. i myself have friends who are atheists and i enjoy their company. it's just tiring me out with him being like that. no consideration at all.
Imagining you two aren't together anymore
@@Unxpekted yep its been years since this comment so we aren't together anymore! He cheated on me. It's been a blessing that we're done. I found someone who actually cares about me and respects my faith too.
@@cmp20kawaii sorry to hear, God bless you
The religion talk should be a first date conversation. One should try to make it a somewhat light, if possible, while being firm and listening to them well when they share their beliefs and experiences.
We're all entitled to our standards and the freedom to choose whether we want to continue getting to know the person in a romantic context.
With my previous boyfriend, a religious scientist, I truthfully said "Early as I can remember, I had this skeptical, intrigued and deeply respectful relationship with religion. I studied it formally and on the side, and I took the time to dig into it and myself, which was sometimes interesting, sometimes painful. I see and experience many things that makes me feel grateful. Fills my heart with love for life and makes me wish to give thanks in some way. And I do. I appreciate every second, and try to do that with every person I care about. I'm constantly in awe of the gift of life :) ". It shows who I am in a lot of ways. Light and positive. He chose to continue seeing me and we fell in love and dated a long while. It ended, but not because of religion.
I was afraid of becoming involved with a religious person. I was single when I recognized myself as an atheist and shortly started dating again. I was a little arrogant, thinking that people who believed in religion or had faith were slaves to it, and I believed that I couldn't possibly have all that life offers with someone who limits themselves or could fall for the tricks that religion plays on them - old me saying this. But I saw that what I value and how I make sense of the world simply could not be imposed, in any way, on someone else, unless they were open to it from within. Each person's experience of life and journey is unique and their own - they'll choose whether they want to hear and continue to hear about your beliefs or non-beliefs. It can be navigated. Be respectful, see the persons values and principles in their actions, enjoy their humor, talk about philosophy if you can and talk about how you appreciate life freely - whether as a result of a succession of impossibly probable goldilocks possibilities, or God's work. And don't be too serious.
Hi
Are you currently dating someone who is religious or by the time you wrote this message? I have a few problems that your experience might be helpful, in one part of the message you wrote that you thought one can't have all that life has to offer with someone who limits himself/herself but then you changed your opinion why was that? Christianity in comparison to Islam doesn't limit a person that much, unfortunately I've felt in love with a Muslim and she is limited in many ways, how she can dress outside (she has to wear Hijab) the activities she can do (for example she can't drink, dance, etc) so how can I achieve my full potential, i really want to have this girl I really do, I'm desperately looking for any help I can get to solve this problem I even though about converting back to Islam (since I was born in a Muslim family and as I grew up I felt I don't believe in Islam anymore) but after a few days I couldn't take it anymore it was just too much :-(
So if there is anything you know that might help me please tell me
I was in a mixed religious relationship for 16 years. 12 of them married. We didn't discuss it. It was a non issue. After we had kids and they where old enough to have a conversation ( 5-7 ) things went down hill fast. Now divorced and it's pretty ugly.
My fear exactly
wow I actually thought you hated Christians until I heard your open mindness in this video btw thanks for improving my critical thinking for me that deserved a sub ☺
I myself am in one of these "unique relationships". Me being Atheist and my other half being Christian. We've been together for nearly 2 years at this point and its going pretty well, never been confronted despite both sets of Grandparents being preachers and vicars, and in fact I've had some very interesting conversations.
We discussed our beliefs very early on and found that really we agreed on most things except the divinity of Jesus and the existence of an omnipotent deity and creator. I agree that learning as much about your partners beliefs is of utmost importance, but that's true in any relationship, you can't just close yourself off in ignorance from what a person you're going to be spending a lot of time with believes. In fact I got persuaded to go to Church a few times,mostly as a result of "oh pweeeeaaasseeee, or I'll be lonely" admittedly, but I did want to go to experience what she had. And in fact I did, I felt what could be termed a "religious experience" or "being touched by God". But pressure from being told how great Heaven is and how easy it is to get there can do that to a man. I quickly cleared my mind and returned to my Atheist Amoral ways xD
Speaking of which, do you think you could do one of these on the perceived religious experience :)
In fact, in a week or so (time permitting) Hazel (my other half) and I will be doing a simple Christian vs Atheist video where we shall both (separately) list off our reasons for believing what we do. No debate, although that may follow, just listing our reasons for comparison for ourselves and the public :)
I may post it as a video response here if that's alright.
Oh yes and I should probably respond to that first comment :D
Don't worry, I've already had all the "testing" the religious community could throw at me (I went to a Christian church camp for 2 weeks and wasn't driven mad nor did I have any inclination to convert).
"5) Make sure personal respect is non-negotiable.
Sure, your partner's ideas and beliefs have to earn respect, but your partner deserves it."
The problem here is that you are looking for a partner, something of an equal in the game of life. Theists don't have an understanding of some basic aspects of reality... That is distinctly NOT an equal partner. On some basic level you are aware that they believe in something unfounded, and you've moved past those beliefs, this makes for a lack of respect and a poor foundation nigh inherently.
This was very helpful. Not just for relationships with partners, but there was a lot of advice here that translates for other relationships too. I live with Christian parents and sometimes it can be hard, but if I stick to this advice we will continue to live in harmony. Thankfully they are open minded and loving, and have no problem with me being an atheist. :-)
If I ever have a child I will make everything clear about what I feel in regards to religion, weather they agree with my stances or not I would never disown them, simply because I would be no better than anyone else who who disown their children for being an atheist.
My ex-husband was a BIC - born in the covenant of Mormonism (returned missionary). I was a convert of 3 years. But I needed a more open-minded husband. I realized I didn't want to raise kids, or be a SAHM (stay at home mom). I let him get a divorce. I was raised like that, we were raised without a faith (especially not Catholicism - my mom was a non-practicing Catholic).
VERY GOOD POINTS, THESE APPLY FOR ALL PEOPLE IN GENERAL. TO HAVE LOVE, RESPECT, TOLERANCE, AND HUMANITY IT IS WHAT HUMAN BEINGS NEED MORE OF.
Rene Bernal ALL CAPS FOR LIFE
YAY
In my case (even though I tried to do all that), Faith was the absolute deal breaker. The belief in the truth of something regardless of (or even against) any evidence or reason, is something that I simply cannot respect in a person.
This was a great video... I am your fan and I am a believer.. Thanks
I'm in one. I never thought it was an issue. We have had our debates but they never go anywhere with them so we just stopped a long time ago. As a 17 year old guy I don't think it matters much at all for me.
First off, Hemet, I love your videos. My girlfriend and I are in one of these relationships. I am in a theoretical physics program at my university and she comes from a whole family of pastors and church owners. She is a lawyer and fairly smart but was indoctrinated early on. Our debates leave her frustrated and not willing to go on, usually. Her view is to avoid the subject at all and it seems that she wants to just never talk about it. I will have her watch this video with me and see if we can open up some communication on the topics that you addressed. As far as her family, I do not discuss this with them and I avoid confrontation with them. But if I am ever asked directly I will not lie. I hope she can do as you have said here and defend my side as well.
+FloridaMerc Pastors and church OWNERS. lol
My parents were one of these couples. My dad is an atheist and my mom is a Christian. They’re divorced now, but it wasn’t cause of religion. Their main problem when it did come to religion was how to raise me. My mom wanted me to go to church, but my dad didn’t like her taking me, so most of the time he forbid it. He went sailing a lot of weekends though, and that’s when she would take me behind his back. I never really liked it though. I guess I just believed in God and what the Bible said because it seemed like the normal thing to do, but now I’m an atheist. It’s nice to be able to talk to both my parents about it and see their points of view. I haven’t had a very in depth conversation with my dad since I became fully convinced I was an atheist though, so I’ll have to do that when I see him in a few weeks.
How long were they married for?
We usually set aside one afternoon every week to beat each other. After that, we're not much in the mood for an argument.
It's all about communication and respect... I'm atheist and my wife is Catholic. We talk openly about it and work on it just like it were any other day to day issue. It has yet to be a big deal. It comes up and we can both get heated and disrespectful but it ultimately comes back to an understanding of differences and we carry on. When it comes down to it we love each other for reasons outside of religion. Our kids will be raised Catholic and given the opportunity to question and debate it when they get older.
Why raise them as Catholic when they actually don't know what it means? Atheism is in the end the default position and they should for themselves move towards positive beliefs.
Markus... It's a compromise. I don't want to get divorced and my wife wants to raise them Catholic. I was Catholic when we married and only later decided I was atheist. I am fine with it as long as they are allowed to think freely when they are older (seems backward to me but whatever) and I will encourage them to do so. My wife believes in God and Jesus but also holds science to be true (God guided science). It's part of the equation. We have to compromise on things and that's my compromise.
My partner and I are comfortable with my respect. We discuss things and find that our opinions on life are
not all that different.
My girlfriend is an Atheist and I’m a Christian we had a small argument over it then we laughed it off and we just don’t really talk about it. Especially being in a same sex relationship.
I want to shake your hand, Hemant Mehta.
*shake*
my hand already
As an Christian we love you even tho you dont believe.
I really enjoy your videos. I'm christian, and my boyfriend is athiest, but it works out for us, because there are things that we both agree on, in terms of the bible and church. because true Christianity is based on what you do outside the church, and not by how often you attend church, I feel that church is not 100% necessary for a christian. i do however, pray almost, if not, every single day. he's not a complete athiest. he has read the bible, and there are some things that he doesn't agree with in the bible. and he feels that "if there is a God, the churches all have it wrong. " and I respect and accept the fact that he chooses not to go to church, because I know that I'm not responsible for his salvation. I sometimes go to church with my roomate, and he's okay with it. and we have already decided that if we ever have kids, we are going to let them decide their own beliefs if they are old enough, and if I'm ever with the kids by myself while they are still too young to make up their own minds about it, and I decide to go to church, they will go with me. I was 19 when I moved out of my parents' house, and whenever my aunt that raised me wanted to go to church, I had to get up and go too. I had no say so otherwise. I feel it isn't right for parents to try forcing their beliefs onto their children. Thankfully him and I already discussed all this stuff early in our relationship.
Are you two still together?
Me and my ex dated and our religious differences never affected things. I feel I've always been a deist and I just had called myself a Christian because thats what everyone I knew was. We are now friends and we respect and care about each other the same.
I have a relationship with a christian,and I'm atheist. I really don't understand what the fuss is. I get alot of the "how do you make it work?" questions frommy surroundings, as I am pretty vocal about religion and related subjects. It's just not that hard. What me and my partner did, wastalk about it. Not specifically the two of us, but also in the company of friends. sure, sometimes you argue, but you make up and you come to a compromise for the situation that has occured, so it doesn't happen again. Sure, the beginning was rocky, but that's it. Now, we often discuss religion, in a civil and understanding manner. A relationship with someone who believes differently can be very enriching, I learn stuff about (her brand of)christianity everyday.
It all comes to how much they love each other. No matter how open minded you are if your partner religious or atheist is being closed minded it still won't work. Has to be on both sides. Single sided opened minded are not enough. Well once again , depend on how much they love each other. If one side decided to give up, most likely that he/she is not loving enough
Cool video i really like your videos keep up the good work.
Really cool video. So I bought the book, seems interesting :) .
My GF is Religious and im not and its really simple, she is very open minded and doesnt care about me being an Atheist. Im just a human that loves her very much and treats her right and she feels comfortable with that and I feel comfortable with her too since she doesnt push her religion on me nor talks about religious belife all the time, its like its not even there so its not really an issue for me nor for anyone. If it is an issue then those people are wrong cause in the end it comes down to who will treat you right and who wont judge you. (Even tho her family hates me with all their might)
The reasons people don't talk about their religious beliefs before marriage are because 1) they believe in the extremely popular fairytale" that "love conquers all". Maybe they are both religious and have actually prayed a lot about it and have been told or believe that sincere fervent prayer, along with "true love" is all they need. Maybe if one of them is non-religious, that one finds it convenient to pretend faith just to get the benefits of doing so. 2) Also, like politics it is considered terribly bad manners to talk or write about this very sensitive issue at all, so even with a prospective spouse polite people may fear saying anything. 3) Those who were raised completely non-religious or only nominally religious may simply think it is an insignificant issue and since it didn't matter to their parents or grandparents, they assume it won't matter to their own spouse.
Religious people tend not to negotiate. They also feel a lot of shame when they are sitting in church... alone and everyone else is there with their spouse or partner. Then they will pressure you to go with them and end up resenting you for not at least being there with them. Church isn't just about beliefs, it's also a social activity they feel that they are not getting to participate fully in.
The best advice is to NEVER ever get involved with a religious person if you are not. There's no way you are going to be able to rationally compromise with the irrational.
I dated a girl for two years. it was great, we were both atheists in the beginning. she had a troubled home and I supported her into moving in with her aunt to escape from her home. we talked everyday about everything. she started withdrawing from her friends, but not me. she grew to love her new home and her new mom and dad. but they were very... opinionated. she ended up rejecting her bisexuality and became Christian. And I was supportive, concerned but supportive. I mean she deserved to feel at home. but then her parents found out I was an atheist, not from me either, like I'm not an anti-theist. but my gf became convinced that we couldn't work out unless I was also Christian. which I tried to negotiate her from that, saying that my lack of belief shouldn't be taken as an affront to her belief, that I love how she feels when she's at church, and that I just won't feel the same way. because let's face it, religious discussions are about feelings. but she just had no respect for me. Like she even attacked my sexuality.... and.... I had been the only one there for her in herdarkest hours, I held her as she cried after I sped over to her house when she tried to kill herself. I confronted her mom to try and change her home life into a healthy one. I loved her. and she just....
The problems do arise once children are involved. I "became" (see previous comments about unbelief not being a choice) a year ago. My husband is a fundamentalist. He has his doubts, but is stubbornly clinging to his beliefs, which I respect. The problem is, we have three boys ages 14, 12, an 9. My husband does not want them to know of my change. Every week, twice a week they go to church where
They learn that unbelievers are tortured in hell, slaves to sin, and immoral.
For 15 years, I've been the submissive wife and homemaker. I feel like I have to make this marriage work- I do love him, and have no idea how I would make it on my own. However, as time goes by, I'm more and more frustrated that I have little to no say in how we address this with the boys.
Faith,interfaith,non belief..
It's all about militantism vs open views
*Case closed*
I am against religion because it can divide people.
Therefore, I should not ever let religion break any of my relationships (assuming I ever have any).
My parents are both nonreligious, and they explained everything, even playing devil's advocate, so that I could choose for myself. I don't think they would care if I was "wrong" as long as I remained non-discriminatory. I ended up atheist anyway, because that made the most sense to my impartial little brain.
I’ve been in love with a Christian girl for about a year now. We broke up for 6 months, but are now talking again. We have finally started talking about the serious stuff, and I admit to being nervous about the result. The only thing I know for sure is that I love her and hope everything works out for the best:/
Hey jack
How are you? How did everything turned out to be? I've felt in love with a Muslim, but the problem is in the difference of these two religions... As the person is way more limited in Islam compared to Christianity... How she could dress, what she could do and etc... For example she has to wear Hijab, she has to fast during a month called ramadan (which today it just ended) she can't dance with me on the dance floor... I'm really exhausted I have even though of committing suicide... Yeah, I'm that desperate... So please share with me your experience to see what can I do...
Thank you my friend
I am an atheist and my girlfriend believes in God. We have scrapes whenever something that came from her church affects what she believes like opinion of homosexuals or the truth of evolution, but we get past those things by accepting that the other person does not agree. The problem comes when I do want to talk about her beliefs and the fact that even though in the beginning I was OK with the idea of raising our kids Christian (because I came from a Christian family and figured that if I raise them to think, they'll most likely agree with me) I have since changed my opinion. Our biggest issue is I cannot say negative things about the faith and I'm sure the not raising the kids Christian thing is going to be a HUGE fight if I can get the nerve to have it. So both people have to be willing to talk about their beliefs and not get offended by dissent, but welcome it
+Taylor Bowman Date someone else - someone as smart as you.
For me it's really hard to deal with but I have to for some other considerations ..
I'm an atheist and my wife is a Muslim ..
She doesn't take the religion seriously but she believes in God and other religious thoughts ..
She always defend it ..
By the way she has no idea about what I believe in ..
Because once she finds out that means my marriage would be at extremely risk even my relationship with my extended family and friends ..
Living in middle east is letterlly struggling to survive ..
😡
I come from a religious family, was baptized at the age of 6 and have been very faithful until I turned 14. I have been learning about other religions since then and now I am 20 and am certain of my decision of staying non-religious. I recently started dating a man who is Christian and is faithful to his God. We have a very strong relationship even this early in the course of the relationship. Moreover, we had a chance to discuss how these faith differences will affect us in the future and the way we raise our children. I suggested that we raise our children religious and Christian, for a simple fact that I was raised Christian. However, after watching this video I believe that allowing your children to learn and explore what other religions are like may be a better way of upbringing a child. One issue that we did come across was how do I as a mother will have to talk to a child about religion in case if we do raise him/her as a Christian. I do not think my partner will appreciate a child being raised secular. I would love to hear your feedback on this issue.
AWESOME video, love it. Great advice.
You're really the one which is really open minded
this could also be beneficial for everyone. how to get past the labels and bother to find out who the other person (friend, spouse, or even a stranger) really is.
one planet: earth
one people: human
all else is irrelevant
I'm atheist and my boyfriend is catholic. This actually works out surprisingly well, as he doesn't judge me for my beliefs and I don't judge him, and we talk about it and we're fine. Before we started dating and I just had a crush on him, that was what always worried me. But even now that I know it's all okay between the two of us, I'm scared what his parents will do if they find out (unless he's already told them, which I have no clue about). My biggest fear is that they will assume I'm religious and then when they find out I'm not will despise me for it and not want their son dating someone like me... I honestly can't really see them doing that, as his parents are pretty awesome, but it worries me constantly.
+Grace Keller Well, the longer the relationship lasts, the higher the chances that it will come up. If you'll get married, the issue of a religios ceremony will appear. Then if you have children, the issue of baptism. Then if you ever go to a family funeral. And so on. And, if by some miracle they won't find out that way, there's always a chance that he will tell them, either intentionally or, more likely, accidentally.
Are you two still together?
@@Unxpekted No, we aren’t. I don’t remember at what point in the relationship I made this comment, but I imagine it was pretty early on, because some issues regarding this did come up. That said, they were mostly my fault. I had another very religious friend say some things to me that were kind of hurtful and, in a moment of frustration, told a mutual friend that I didn’t understand how my boyfriend at the time was religious because he just seemed too nice and respectful. That ended up getting back to him a couple months later and triggered a huge argument. We still dated for a few months after that, but I think that may have been the point that changed things.
One important thing to note here is that I was 16 and he was 17. We were in high school. While it did end up causing an issue for us, I’m not sure the same thing would happen now. I’d like to think that I have matured enough to have the important conversations about religion and values early on in a relationship. Along those same lines, I don’t think I’d enter a relationship with somebody who is religious to the degree that my ex was, just because our values and lifestyles probably wouldn’t align. But it would obviously depend on the person and on the situation. My ex and I did talk about our beliefs, and it worked for awhile, but the maturity to really make it work just wasn’t there. Maybe if we were adults when we started dating things would have been different, but that ship sailed long ago.
@@gkeller1031 Thank you for sharing, I wish you happiness and peace in your life!
@@Unxpekted Thank you! You as well :)
I know this sounds incredibly cheesy...But honestly as long as you love & respect each other things will probably just work themselves out. I’ve personally found that marrying someone with a different set of beliefs enriched my life & vice versa. When I started dating my now husband I was a sheltered Christian living in a bubble & he was an agnostic person who never even asked himself the important questions in life. We helped each other grow. He taught me to be more open minded. I started thinking outside the box & asking questions. I learned more about politics, the evolution of the universe & science in general. For the first time in his life he learned about different religions & belief systems. He read about philosophy & wanted to learn about my beliefs as well. Thirteen years later we’ve both evolved. We’re both more tolerant & open minded. He now considers himself a “theist” & I now consider myself a “Democrat”. Lol, but seriously I’m a liberal, loving Christian who at the end of the day married a wonderful man, regardless of what he believes. We worked out the details along the way. I’ve enjoyed the journey & look forward to the decades to come. 💚✌🏻
I have a problem with my girlfriend, because she is Muslim, i have written my problem in the last comment, can you please read it and help me if you can? Thank you
Are you still together? Any kids?
I couldn't get in a religious/atheist relationship because from the beginning she rejected me because I am an atheist.
Didnt u already upload this??
So I'm an atheist and I've always admired Stephen Hawking from the core of my heart. And I like this guy who's really nice and sweet. Apparently he's really religious. So in Bhagwad Gita(holy book of Hindus), it's written that a person who is handicapped or has some birth defect or disease has it because he committed bad deeds in his previous life. I was discussing the same with this guy and he said that he believes in this statement. I was entirely shocked. He said that maybe Stephen Hawking committed bad deeds in his previous life. I immediately told him that there's only one life and we should be grateful for that. And I said that Stephen Hawking was a very nice man. I mean I'm into science and Stephen Hawking is my idol. I was in a lot of pain after he said that he believes in this statement of Gita. Although he's really nice but I don't know what to feel about him anymore. I guess.. Religious people and atheists can't live together.
I have a question:
What do you do when your friend(s) get mad at you for being atheist even when they've know that you're atheist for the past few years?
My best friend is like a sister to me, she always will be, but one day at school she went on such a rage with a guy who's REALLY religious. They were so hurtful that I had to go to the counselor's office to try and calm down. I remember how hard I was crying :(
Please answer because this had happened before with different people.
I don't think I could have a relationship with a person that was really religious. It comes up a lot in my non romantic relationships though with friends and family. I could be with someone that believes in god, although I am not sure I would 100% respect them, but not with a person that is really involved in their religion and church.
Thing is, I DON'T think faith is a "force for good"... Seriously, "force for good" O.o
I have a lot of respect for a lot of theists, many of them are my friends, and my friend that is a Priest has a lot of respect for me. But I just don't see how it is in any way possible for a religious person and an athiest to have a serious long term relationship without one of the other changing.
Maybe an atheist and a "easter/christmas-only christian" that is purely secular but lacks the last bit of critical thinking skills to become a full atheist.
Ive said it befor and ill say it again. a relationship between athiests and religious ppl can go well, untill they get kids. and then everything goes to shit. dont believe me? got a christian partner? tell them you want to teach your kids about evolution.
Not all Christian denominations are anti-evolution, and not all people adheres 100% to their pastor's doctrines.
I don't believe you because I'm an atheist and my wife is Christian. My wife accepts evolution. Our kids will be taught evolution. They will also learn about many other religions and atheism in addition to Christianity and be able to choose.
Prototype Atheist its not all about evolution, there any many things that cause troubles. ask your wife how she feels about you going to hell because you dont accept jesus. I can onley give egsamples.
Well, I would hope the school I send them to teaches them that or else what are they doing with my tax dollars? As well, my girlfriend believes no one is going to hell. She says that god is a perfectly infallible being. If a machine were to be perfect and its sole job is to create more machines but it turns out the machines it created are flawed then the perfect machine is no longer perfect, its flaw being the production of flawed machines. So if god is perfect then he cannot make anything that is flawed, or else he is flawed, which according to christianity, he is not. So she concluded that humans have no flaws since we were created by a perfect being. Since hell is a place for humans who flawed in their time on earth and that no humans are flawed, no one will go to hell.
doublea125 well thats not what the bible says but whatever, if it makes her feel better.
I as/was (we're on a break) in such a relationship. I'm a staunch atheist, she's a Roman Catholic. And our relationship had been going well given the distance (We go together in HS, but I'm going to college in Canada, while she went to an In-state Catholic University). Until, we came accross the issue mentioned in #3 (1:30). She wants to raise Christian kids, and I cannot indoctrinate my children with religious dogma.
We're still on this block, and it's caused many arguments and disrespect (I, unwisely, call her beliefs magic or wizardly). I/we've tried to come to the benefits and costs of raising kids under each school of thought. She says raising them Christian saves them from hell; I say raising them skeptically gives them better tools to understand the universe and peoples' actions.
I've offered the compromise of raising kids in absence of religious dogma, i.e., not enforcing skepticism (even secularly, which is a tightrope to walk) or subjegating them to church and it's values, or "values".
She refuses, and we're still in this block. I don't foresee us continuing past this impasse.
Brilliant idea thanks for the advice
haha i think I'm in a very interesting relationship, I'm atheist and she is Wicca it's been good for 6 months now and i love having discussions with her on her beliefs
This sounds like good advice for any relationship....
just don't date a religious person. sure it limits your choices but it's like a cat dates dogs to have more choices.
It's religious folk who should be worried though, but I like your advice ;)
11: Read 1 Corinthians 7:14
(By the way, the Bible does say Atheist are immoral. You can't say that there is a good Atheist when you believe in the Bible)
Which is exactly why the Bible is immoral. God loves all his children, provided they love him back. Otherwise something is wrong with you.
Do you think it is possible that people from different backgrounds, religious or non-religious can go on with there lives together without having to engage in conflict with each other involving ones belief or lack of it for that matter?
But still in politics, why can't it be possible to keep a bay personal ideologies and work for betterment of the nation at the same time.
So, my family disagrees with my choice of partners? Excommunication.
My girlfriend's family will do the same to her if they find out about us.
We do all the things you mentioned apart from number 8 and that was the deal breaker for me. My partner wanted to label our future kids as Christians and forbid me to teach them about paganism or question Christianity. That's not compromising. I was happy for him to teach out future kids about God and Jesus so long as I could teach them to question and teach them about paganism. But he forbid me as that would directly conflict with his teachings. It was heart breaking to walk away but I have to be true to my beliefs and feel they are being respected as much as I respect others. 😔
So I'm actually allowed to make up my own mind?
I pick Christian.
I suppose being married to what I call (and he admits to) a "Christmas Christian", makes it easier. The issues for me came with the kids but we came to an understanding long ago. Neither one of us push our side, we're both willing to explain our partners point of view with the understanding that these aren't by beliefs, if you want to know more, "go ask mom/dad" We believe they will come to the decision on their own.
(So far they don't really think about it. Or ask about it. Last conversation scared by 7 year old, hell is a really scary concept to a 7 year old. But he is more or less scared of the demons in the scary movie trailers. It so hard for me to say that's all just make believe honey, like zombies....but it passed and he never went to dad about it)
My husband is atheist and I am a Christian. And I try to convert him and by that I mean I pray for him to become a Christian. I don't force him to go to church I don't play Christian music around the house loudly. But I see nothing wrong with praying for him. He knows I do it and it doesn't bug him. What I think in my head does not affect him. On the next thing even as a Christian I am pro-gay marriage, and pro-life obviously I'm for equality. my husband doesn't really care since it doesn't affect his life. He wouldn't have a choice to murder his child or not and he's not gay. I respect my husband I believe it's what God requires me to do. And he respects me. I don't know where our marriage will be in 15 or 50 years. But if it goes th way i am praying. He will be a Christian and we will continue loving and loving the Lord. But I will except the fact if my husband continues to be anything a atheist i will still continue living him the same
+courtney baker I'm glad to hear you think this way towards your marriage. What denomination of christianity are you subscribed to?
+Zsprite 79 I don't really belong to any denomination, as a child I was raised independent fundamental baptist but after I grew up and was allowed to choose my faith I left it, as i believe it has many errors and to many crazy people in it lol.now I tell people I am just Christian, I have gone to many churches that are different denominations like Presbyterian, full gospel, and baptist. As long as they preach salvation threw faith and not works, I will go there.
courtney baker How is your marriage now? The reason I'm so interested is because I myself am an atheist and recently have became one. My gf of almost 4 years is a pentecostal christian and after having told her, we had a bit of a bump but managed to stay together. I just want compromise, one like you and your husband seem to have. I deeply respect that and admire it.
+Zsprite 79 we are still together and madly in love lol, we have been together for two years and will be bring our son into this world any day now, due May 25, we have had our arguments but not over religion yet lol when he says thing about my beliefs I know it's cause he know not what he do, so I let it go and love him more. I feel like our real test is when our son gets older and we have to teach him beliefs, it's funny cause not only are me and my hubby different beliefs systems, but also different cultures and native language, he is Korean born and I am American born. I brought him to America after I couldn't get a visa there lol I really hope you and your girlfriend can do it, the hard part will be on her part to let you go and chose your beliefs while all she can do is watch
3 months in to a relationship with someone religious. It's been really successful, but she doesn't like discussing religion because our conversations increase her doubt of god's existence which she thinks is really wrong. She's starting to come around though
What is positive and negative atheism?
I have been watching his videos for hours and they are making me a lot more comfortable with being an atheist my entire family believes in god and they are mad at me for not
I'm 16 told my mom I didn't believe in god and she was all disappointed and was tripping what do I do
My girlfriend is Christian (Seventh Day Adventist) and broke up with me recently because I don't believe in God, even though she already knew this. She did this referencing the bible saying something like "thou shall not be unequally yolked" which apparently means Christians and non-christians can't be together. I tried to say in the nicest way possible that it's just another thing in the bible that people in the modern day don't follow anymore but she just wouldn't listen. Ughh just thinking about how much she praises God and everything... Just wish she could come to her senses but I know that will never happen.
Time for a new shirt.
After being married with two kids for 18 years, I grew out of religion, she didn’t. Still searching for that video...TBC