Boy, Am I glad my parents weren't like this woman. When I went to college I worked part-time and lived at home. Doing so made it possible for me to not get any student loans and even have some money saved by graduation with zero debt! In exchange, with the money I saved I'll be able to give back to my parents once they're older and need financial assistance from me.
Swimmin Wit Da Fishies "Real" adults? What do you mean? What defines someone as a real adult? Renting out an apartment and paying bills defines that? Nahh
This needs to stop, this i can give my parents financial assistance when they are old. They should not ever need financial assistance, specially if you are considered middle class in this country. 500 a month in a retirement account is close to 5M after 30 years. Stop having perpetual car loans all your life. Unless you have lived in poverty your whole life you should not become a burden to your kids. Needing to live with your kids for medical reasons vs living with them because you squandered all your money all your life are very different reasons. Ppl need to stop living above your means and be smart with their money. Cause all you are doing is putting more pressure on you, by saying you need to support your parents, and messing up your kids future in more ways than one.
My father's solution to this was he told me as long as I was in college, I could live under his roof and eat meals at his house. I paid for my own car, gas, etc. (there were no cell phones back then, but I guarantee you I would have had to pay for that also). I also had to help mow the yard, take out the trash, etc. When I graduated, he expected me to get a full time job and move out, which is exactly what I did. He passed away three days ago, at 91. I've been completely debt free since 2012, own my own house and two cars. Guess his method worked, in my case.
I am 27 and a full time biology teacher. I live at home and pay the mortgage and bills. my mom doesn't need to work because of my income. my point is that as long as you contribute to the home, it's okay to live at home. then again, we are a Mexican household.
White people : we love our family Always has someone else take care of the parent or kid Immigrant people: we love our family We take care of our own because they took care of us when we were young A I we take care of them when they are old
An 18 year old not knowing what she wants to go to school for is... well... normal. No need to punish her with a 60-80 hour work week. Her parents should act like parents and help her find internships, apprenticeships, career days, etc.
Shes young im young we can work 80 hour weeks easily young people CAN do it theyre just to lazy and stupid to know they can make quick money short term that will help if they save it up if they blow it on gucci and fashion nova so they could "look rich" but have an empty account their parents didnt raise em rite
@leaderoftheworldputin I do agree with letting your kids figure out longer than just "Hey you're 18, get life figured out!" Especially when in society (at home and at school) the only option we get is college. "Military and trade jobs? HA, that's for dumb people" is what I would get told. Now I'm barely starting my career and living with mom and dad for the next year until I save up.
As a Japanese guy one told me, it's the parents job to make sure their child is prepared for the real world, if you toss them out there and they end up homeless or on hard drugs it reflects more on you as the parents.
“Two grown adults 18, 24, still living at home working part time and going to school”, doesn’t sound bad to me. Sounds as if they’re trying to go further in life. At 18 you’re probably just graduated high school or still in high school. Give me a break. That’s not a grown adult, that’s still a child trying to figure out their life. Can’t handle these types of parents.
I have ason and 2 grand kids living with me and the thing about it i pay rent they dont and i dont know how to get him to leave. The only reason why i pay the rent is because i have a16 yr old and a 13 yr old what should i do ?can somebody help me.
No, it's not about the money. It's about loving your children so much that you can impart some smarts to live without you, that's the whole point of having progeny, to let your ilk live on without you and they be strong enough to carry your genes to the second and third generations and further. Catering to weakness in your child will make them weak, stop it.
The problem with some of Dave's advice regarding this type of topic was that he was already wealthy by the time his kids reached this age, so it was no problem for daddy to pay their way. He needs to keep in mind that not all parents can afford to keep paying their children's way - some of us need to put a lot of money into investments so we can retire with dignity. I think he forgets what "most" families can afford.
Right! Cause if they have to work/pay for college themselves you didnt spoil them. Not to mention, they work partime(probably at minimum wage jobs) and one of them is paying off a student loan and theyre paying their own phobe bill. Yet you want them to contribute to household expenses every week? Where do you think this money is coming from?
My parents said people that live under their roof share their values and go to church on Sundays. I hit the bricks the day I graduated high school and never looked back or regretted it.
Naw, one diaper change then he's kicked to the curb, he's a goner before he was even a goner! Gotta love (not) some lethal brats, they make good news stories.
This is utterly ridiculous. In my opinion, our job as parents is to prepare our kids to be successful. To say get out of my house at 21 because you have a college degree now is a set up for financial failure. If my child has to stay at home till he/she is 26 and financially/occupationally ready to put down a good down payment for a house. That is the best case scenario in my opinion. I usually love your insight Dave but you are incredibly wrong on this one.
NEWYORKSL If you have a child that is "productive" I don't see why he/she shouldn't be able to live with you until they're financially set. I think Dave's point is for young adults who are disrespectful, lazy, and refuse to work or go to school which makes logically sense.
How is having your child spend all of their paycheck towards bills helpful? As long as theyre going to school, Id pay everything and push them towards graduate school. After all schooling let them save up for a year and then have them move out 😌
I doubt Rachel has had to pay a dollar out of pocket for anything in her entire life. She was completely funded by daddy, and then her husband. Not sure how she’s in a position to give any advice on this.
@@GUURL101 You must be new. She was on her own after college. Search Davy Ramsey "how to help our 24 year old son". That call will explain it all to you.
from a Hispanic point of view we can't relate to this move out of the house at 21 we are very close as a family is a culture thing and sometimes we I hear people talk like this about their kids it sounds cold and like if they are talking about a pet or something.
It's not a cold thing. We love our family as much as you do. But my husband and I teach our kids about independence and yes, we want them to experience the burdens of life on their own. It makes them stronger.
Jenn Menzel Horrors! Do you mean that you taught your children how to live without you and they learned how to survive on their own? How can this be?! Wait, wasn't this the pattern for most of human history, or am I mistaken? Isn't this the goal of child rearing or am I totally clueless? I'm confused now, raise children to adults. Ok, job done. Adults won't leave, ok, time for another facts of life discussion! Need to talk my minnie me, yeah buddy!
+Jenn Menzel I don't understand this culture of shaming people that choose to stay at home until they are financially secure. People can live at home and still learn how to be independent. Why would you willingly put your kids into a strenuous situation when there's an easier way that gets the same result? To brag about how independent they are? They'll have an independent, stressful lifestyle. Meanwhile, the person that saved while staying at home is able to afford a nice place to live without any unnecessary stress.
It's called raising a child to independence. Some are ready at 17, some ready at 20. Past 20, it's not healthy when their adult persona's are being forged. Any one past 20 with opposable thumbs with a sound mind and a strong back can work to be on their own. Otherwise it's plain laziness, cheapness, or lack of confidence. Besides, at least before you get on your own, a hope chest of some sort, some savings, a job if even just part time, should be in order. The natural thing for parents is to make a smooth road for their progeny, but it really is in the long one not a wise thing, nor a kind thing to do. Give them wings, make them fly. Your children will never soar without wings. Don't hold on to your children, don't make them feel guilty for growing up. Let them soar.
No matter how much of an adult you are, you will always be in a parent/child dynamic as long as you live under their roof, which hinders true maturation.
@@DrDiabolical000 if a person continues to live at home while not going through the normal stages of adulthood the term is known as "failure to launch", or Peter Pan Syndrome. It's suspended adolescence. Look up the medical journal by Dr Roseann titled, "What is Failure to Launch Syndrome". There's usually a mental health component to the syndrome and it does involve being unable to "leave the nest", which hinders one's ability to obtain executive functioning (life)skills. Continuing to live at home allows FTL's to rely on other adults to help them with "strategic organizational and problem solving skills", instead relying on themselves. When adult children continue to live at home it is not a true stranger roommate situation, it is a system of support that can lead to delayed adulthood *because* of the aforementioned. It's just a fact by nature and design. An adult child will always be an adult child.
When I was in high school I always had a part time summer job. I went to a state university and took out 4 yrs of student loans (back then, the best rate was 9%!) Within 2 months after graduating, I scored a full time job and was back living at home paying $200/month "rent" to my parents. As a wedding gift, my mom gave me back my "rent". I paid off my student loan (and a used car loan) EARLY because I was able to live at home. It can all be done, IF you WORK at it!
May be a cultural thing. My parents wanted me to live them until as long as possible. But had I been lazy or abusing the priveledges, they would have never put up with it. I went to school, had a job the whole time, and helped keep the house clean. Worked well for me. Now I have the privilege of fully being able to take care of my father financially. Not sure how other cultures work but this is pretty typical of the traditional Asian culture.
i don’t like the “live under my value system” line. mainly because it strikes a nerve and some awful memories. i became muslim when i was 17, still living at home. my father had this attitude and i was nearly forced outside of my parents home and into homelessness. luckily my mother was smarter than that and allowed me to stay at home. i’ve been working full time since i was 17, i now make an anual salary of 40k. i’m now 23 and still living at home with my parents. debt free, owning my own 2018 car. having gotten that all by myself without my family’s help (besides allowing me to stay home rent free) all because they allowed me to stay rather than kicking me out for our differences in religion. staying home was a blessing. i was able to pay for my own car, save up, invest and i’m even able to pay my way through pre med without loans. and i’m planning on putting myself through medical school without loans as well. it’s not always black and white.
There absolutely nothing wrong with your children living at home if they’re 18 yrs old and 24 . They are going to school and working. My goodness what’s wrong with that!! An 18 yr old doesn’t know anything about living on their own bc they’re young adults and no need to throw them out if you truly love them. It’s a rough world out there , why rush to get them out so fast. I love my children and have helped pay for their education , plus food and a roof on top of their head with the help of God Almighty of course. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I'm Italian and I agree with you! I've taught my sons so much more as adults. They do laundry, their bills, cooking and they are putting money away 😄❤😄
I cannot agree more. I moved out at 17. I went to college and paid my way through. The person I became in those first 6-8 months... I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. It made me very independent and strong. Now I'm able to help others.
@@terence.j And I expect better from you being a black man. Knowing that troupe "I'm an independent and Don't need No Man" BS has destroyed our community. Do better and be a leader brother not a follower.
Yeah didn’t agree with Dave or Rachel on this at all. 18 isn’t a grown adult, that’s a child still in high school or just graduated and they want them to move out. Yeah okay.. that’s totally realistic.
@@hj-mh1ge the human brain isnt fully developed until a person reaches and turns 25. That is like a peak age. The frontal lobe, I believe it is, which is the part that controls decision making is still not fully developed. That is why it is also recommended that you get your wisdom teeth pulled out. 18 is supposed to be considered the age of wisdom. Hence the name wisdom teeth. When anyone gets older, it becomes a problem.
moving out at 18 or 21 was realistic, affordable, and normal 60 yrs ago. union jobs everywhere white collar jobs everywhere low job entry requirements college could be paid for easily exports were strong Fast forward to 2020: Blue collar jobs overseas white collar jobs to India complete export/import imbalance College is extremely expensive 2008 recession still affects millennials high medical insurance costs stop applying boomer expectations to the awful situation of many young people.
I got so sick of boomer relatives telling me to do what they did and how great it worked. "I worked 60 hours a week at a job I hated for 20 years and now I have a $1000 a month pension" as if that option still exists or is even the right answer.
I understand the Ramseys' point-of-view, but I agree with commenters below. Personal independence is a strong Caucasian-American value, whereas family loyalty is lauded among other ethnicities within the United States. My family is not white, but we have been in the United States for multiple generations and hold both values. There are 3 siblings: one moved out in college, one in his mid-20s, and I moved out (for the last time) after finally getting a stable job after grad school. I was 32. If my family had ever indicated that they wanted me out of the house, I suppose I would have had some character-building challenges to meet. But since they didn't, I am grateful and don't regret a thing. Average rent for a one-bedroom apartment in my lower-middle-class Los Angeles neighborhood is currently $1430 per month.
That's a great phrase: "Go get your own." I did not plan it and would not universally recommend it, but the last time I moved out of the family home was when I was 32. The university where I pursued my master degrees and later was an adjunct professor (paid extremely little) was only a 45 minute drive from the house. So, especially as an unmarried Asian-American female, it made sense to save money and live at home.
@@licoreen I completely agree with you the values are different. As an aside some Asian businesses are family run and the family may live together or close by. This is also true of many Pakistani families who create a strong financial base in business, buy up nearly the entire street of real estate and rent it back to the whites. Their family grows richer and richer and no one else can get their hands on the same housing. If well managed, focused and cohesive the group tends to fare better than the lone wolf.
dog guy - what’s wrong with that ? Dig himself out of debt and learned to manage his money wisely. I don’t know why people hate on those who’s parents have paid for things for them. Boo hoo.
You can live at home and still learn to be responsible but living by yourself sure does make you more mature about things, for me anyways. Some will maybe just not care
She's 24. let her stay till 30! nothing wrong with helping your kid get ahead. I moved out at 29, bought a house; could of only done that by living at homes a little longer. send your kid out too early they rent apartments or maybe get a 1 bed 1 bath condo. stay 5 or 6 more years and have them work and save. well in GTA average house now is 1 million. so it's the norm in canada.
Base line - I'd only let my future child stay with for similar reasons - to work out of debt or save up for a down payment on a house. I want to see my child succeed. However, if I see anything like cruise or international traveling then I would have to put to an end.
I live in Asia and in my culture you can stay at home as long as you like, it's actually favorable since there will be someone to look after your aging parents, I don't really like it though when your siblings started to marry and still live in the house with their new spouse. we are all grown ups but still live with our parents but since we're all working, we are the ones shouldering the expenses.
Asian people have something to teach the West - you save at home and when your parents are old you look after them, not put them in an old age home to die alone.
Same In Africa. I can't really speak on that since I left Togo to come to the United States at seven years old in 2002. But whenever I go back, not much changes, but it is based on a french school system. At noon, everyone gets a break. 1 to 2 hour break and come back for the afternoon session. French is the primary language and is taught and spoken at and in school. Mina is the Native language and is spoken at home. That all has to do with the history of the country being a French colony back in the day.
so funny seeing these parents doing everything for the kiddos. after high school, i left for college 12 hours from home. best decision ever! no gov't financial aid and and no support from parent. thank God that He gave me wisdom to know what had to be done. wouldn't have it any other way.
From a Thai standpoint, it's quite baffling to see how much emphasis Americans place on children. While they do have Child Protective Services that can intervene if parents are deemed unfit, it's intriguing that once these youngsters hit 18, some parents opt to kick them out, citing a legal loophole that relieves them of further responsibility. Turning 18 doesn't magically equip someone with all the tools they need to navigate the complexities of life. It's a critical age where guidance and support are still crucial. Parents play a significant role beyond legal obligations, helping their children tackle the challenges that come their way. Life doesn't follow a strict script, and a bit of parental wisdom can make a world of difference.
its a rather "hardcore" lifestyle tbh... but ultimately throwing your kids to the wolves at that age is somewhat comical but i uno that's just the way people think, but being too kind to your kids will destroy them
In my family, we usually don't mind as long as the kid is making something of themselves. Let them get ahead and maybe they will help you out in the future. Of course that doesn't mean the rules aren't strict, but life isn't so easy that everyone has it figured out by 18-20 years of age.
Rachel, if Dave Ramsey was not your father I would love to have seen you working 80 hours a week, fully paying for your school, paying rent, paying all your bills, and be debt free at age 18. Oh that’s right it wouldn’t have happened. But yet you’re so quick to judge others who didn’t have the privelage of growing up in a household like yours. This question was not answered realistically.
Seriously? This is why we have poverty. People waste time complaining about made up excuses. The reason her dad makes a difference is because she knows better. After seeing this video, you know better! If you want to make excuses for why you're not succeeding, that's fine. Just don't waste my time, Dave Ramsay's time, or Rachael's time!
hah, you know rachel so well? Enough to know what she would do in some non existent reality. You seem to have the victimhood loser mentality that accepts losing before the game starts. I moved out at 19 and worked a part time AND full time job while going to school FULL time. It can be done and just because someone doesn't HAVE TO does not mean THEY CANT.
I USED to respect and admire Dave and Rachel very much. However, I have lost respect for them.They are WRONG about this. Rachel married a guy who is VERY well off, which is fine, but she is NOT really speaking from personal experience, and honestly, she sounds very judgemental. With all due respect to her, she got married, so yeah, you do need to move out then. But, so what if someone is say, 29 years old, single and has a good income and is lucky enough to be living with their parents and not paying a landlord or interest on a mortgage. Stay with your folks as long as you can. It's better to keep the money in the family than to give it away to somebody else. Take it from someone who knows firsthand what life is like when you are NOT a member of the rich Ramsey family. STAY AT HOME AS LONG AS YOU CAN. Now, that does NOT mean be a bum, don't work, be lazy and all that. Work, make a living, pay your parents substantial rent, do things around the house, and pay your own way. Now, I'm not saying NEVER leave. But, really, unless you are about to get married and start a family and all of that good stuff, what is the point hurrying out of the house? Save your money for awhile. Otherwise, you will just be giving it away to Dave's friends in the mortgage industry.
Wow, what a stretch of logic that is. It's not even about the money. It's about the parents having confidence in severing the support to their grown up progeny, it's about young adults who got a clue all their lives on how to grow up. People always say how kids seem to grow up fast these days, I beg to differ, they know more, but they aren't growing up. My parents during the Korean war married right out of high school, my father soon went to war overseas. Their generation just so seamlessly stepped into adult roles with no angst or fanfare. I was born in 1957, I still marvel at their generation's achievements!
If the kids are going to school or saving/working full time then I don't see an issue. Granted, I have the point of view from someone who lived with his parents until I was able to save money and buy a home.
GamerNRetro After high school I stayed with my mom for two years. Worked 8 hours a day doing construction work. Help with food,bills,and such. I saved the rest. Then I applied for pell grant and school loans,got everything fixed on my car,packed up what little I had and drove across country to aeronautics school. One of the most exciting times of my life.
my wife siblings are 33 and 35, both with a child. the 35 yr old son stays home and doesn't work. the 33 yr old sister lives in a family member home for free but somehow has 400$ gas bill. Well my wife's mom pays all the sister's bills"car payment, food grandson" so she wont stay at home with my inlaw. her sister works 10-12 hour a week. I know ,hard to believe but its so true . My wife's mom works in her 60's at about 2k a month because she is scared to make her kids grow up...........dumb
Here in San Francisco, the median price for a one bedroom apartment is $3700 per month. Private school tuition is $75,000 per year. Next to NYC,this city has the most billionaires in America. Also, you see many, many people living in RVs, cars or who pitch tents in the streets since California has the highest level of poverty in the nation. The disparity between rich and poor is extreme. Jobs are unstable since we all sign at-will contracts which means we are subject to a gig economy. Dave Ramsey is deluded and should consider himself lucky to be a baby boomer and thus the beneficiary of the wealth-building era of the 1970s/1980s.
This is true, the boomer generation don't realise that it was generally easier to get jobs at that time compared to now. I would know, I've been rejected so many times.
@@lisalee2885 Thank you for your encouragement. 🥰 I am progressing further in the application process compared to before, so I'm getting closer. Maybe I'll get myself over the line eventually.
I'm 28 and my boyfriend and I have lived with his parents now for 2 in half years! I see everyone my age with decent jobs, settling down and buying a house! We're always saving a little money at a time but it's expensive to live where I am here in Florida. Thankfully, we have a good structure at our household. It took a lot of work. I help his mom with the cooking and cleaning and whatever she wants me to do! We go out together and have a great relationship! We buy our own food, pay for gas, pay for our phones, help with heating and electric. We have only have one vehicle and we can't afford another one right now. I'm content though and very thankful for the people I have around me!! We still struggle but not as badly because we only have to pay half on bills! If you live with your parents and have a good structure you'll be fine!! But, you have to have a finish line eventually! I don't want to be in this situation forever but at least we're able to save money while we can!! You can do whatever you want and live with who you want. Don't let other people bring you down! But if you can, start saving as soon as you start working and you should be somewhat set when you graduate!! I loved having our own place at one time but it just didn't work out for us!! Just keep saving and wishing for the best for your future!!
I think the parents should let the kids pay more when it comes to the car, gas and insurance. If the 18 year old wants to work full time, then she will grow up really fast. I think Dave's advice is really good for this situation.
Western mentality about moving out is why care homes are thriving. Even working and progressing that way should be fine. Going university unless you're doing something as doctors or lawyers etc isn't worth it
Should you encourage your kids to get out on their own? Yes. Should you also realize that they are going out into a world much different than the one you entered at that age, also yes. Mine put up for me for two years until I could secure gainful employment and that went a long way towards getting my student loans paid off.
Its called SELF MOTIVATION!! I agree with you Dave and Rachel. Moving out after college was the greatest thing for me! I was ready to leave the house after college. I have student loans and working my debts off. Staying at home would have given me a chance to pay debts down faster. However, I needed to grow as an adult and learn things in life on my own. I don't care if your college was paid for in full or your in major debt, leaving the protection of your parents house and finding your way in life is INVALUABLE!!!! Nothing can replace that knowledge and might be worth more than my degree I received.
Let's see. Option A) move out way too soon and give your money away to Dave Ramsey's cronies in the mortgage industry. OR. Option B) Stay put for awhile, live right, save money and get your own place later on when it makes sense. Yeah, I went with B. And I am FAR better off because of it. Oh, and by the way, just because someone moves out after college, or whatever, it does not mean that they automatically "find their way in life". I've seen plenty of people move out and end up on the streets because they didn't pay the rent. How "mature" is that?
I have lost a ton of respect for Rachel. She needs to get off of her high horse and quit judging people because they live at home and save their money instead of giving it away to her daddy's buddies who work in the mortgage industry. That comment about how "they will just stay there and that will become their life" was horrible. I mean, yeah, those who live at home and are bums and won't work or anything should be told (by their parents) to shape up or ship out. But, for crying out loud, why kick someone out who works, pays rent, and helps out around the house? I think the stupidest comment I heard was "oh, it FORCES them to grow up". REALLY?? Are you that naive, Rachel? Moving out forces nothing. I have witnessed that firsthand.
i agree with you MyNephew, every situation is different. if a kid is an abusive lazy drug dealing/using bum who is taking advantage of elderly parents, then yes they should get the boot. on the other hand if a kid is working, trying to get work, going to school, and being helpful and respectful around the house, they should get every benefit a parent can reasonably give.
pjgumby i respect how you did things, but how i did things worked out with me and my parents, and i think my values including my work ethic are very good.
Then you're golden, never said anybody had to do it my way. I just always questioned parents who discouraged, or delayed the growing up of their children. Sorry but grown up adults past 21 are lazy, inept, maybe a little challenged in the smarts department, or just lack courage or confidence to make it on their own. It's not a normal thing to have a big grown up birdy in the nest, just not normal. Not the design for growing healthy young adults.
carryclass I no longer fry donuts, I'm now a Offset Printer who is very well paid, and I'm not ashamed for having worked in a Bakery. I learned early that working and learning your way through life is preferable to being a moocher.
Dear Rach and Dave I NEEED this video with spanish subtitles so my mother could understand from another point of view that she is NOT helping my siblings (26 and 31, none of them studying) by allowing them to live with them and at their expenses. Please, please, please! help a sister out.
@@Granzteelvids Sounds like a lack of accountability responsibility on the parent side with that remark. Which probably explains the outcome that they received.
wouldn't you at least be happy in a nursing home alone that you raised children that can ultimately take care of themselves lol it's like the mentality that oh i made my son into a tough man with the cost of our relationship
I don't get the negative comments. Have those commenters not been paying attention generally to Dave? Let the kids stay at home if they are in school. That allows them to 1. concentrate on studies, and/or 2. put any money they earn towards tuition so they don't incur loans in the first place. Make sure there's an exit plan. Have living at home as a adult tied to conditions such as school. Don't let your child live at home as a adult, without a plan, without an exit strategy, basically continuing to live as a child instead of the adult they are. He's not advocating kicking kids out as soon as they turn 18, but to be smart about your choices when having an adult child living with you. Having that fall-back plan of parents is invaluable. I've bounced home once, and it gave me a great place to transition to a new phase in life. But there was always conditions, it always had an expiry date, and then we could all move on.
Finally someone I can agree with on this feed! I’m astounded by the other comments and I’m an adult living at home now! I couldn’t imagine not having a plan.
Carolyn M Dave is also a Christian and doesn’t think people should move in with boyfriends and girlfriends. What do you think young people will do when they get kicked out? Move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I’m 19 I work full time and if my mother kicks me out I’m going right to my boyfriends house.
I was okay with "most" of this. At age 18, if a girl wants to take time off because she's not sure what she wants to do, honey, LET HER. Because I have SEEN people leave a private school after hundreds of thousands of dollars because they figure out that they don't want a major in that anymore. So imagine what that's like, to start again being out a hundred thousand. So let the girl take some time off. If you make her flip burgers 60 hours a week, what is she gunna learn in time for school?
Then she should get a room mate and pay her half of the rent while doing the burger thing. I would not stand in her way if her only ambition in life is to flip burgers. I would NEVER dream of standing in her way, flip burgers to the end of days if that pleases you, but I wouldn't leave my hard earned money to her. Go figure.
If that was her ambition. But not if its forced on her. I'm saying you shouldn't force someone to flip burgers 60hrs a week just because they're taking time off from school to reevaluate things. Did you understand my post at all?
Teaching kids responsibility and work ethic is a must from a young age. My parents helped me and my wife don't go in a huge debt while in college. Also we own a business now because we didn't go into a huge hole. My friend stayed with parents at their home, worked and bought several rental properties before he moved out. I don't agree with kicking kids out, teach them discipline and work ethic from a young age and help them if you can. Later in life they will be thankful and take care of you.
Dave I think you've lost your way on this my grandma who was born in 1900 said that in her day kids would stay as long as they wanted just like The Waltons. In the country people used to stick together and not be financial adversaries as you promote.
My grandparents took me in and raised me and I didn't move out until I was 30. I suffered from a lot of fears growing up but I've grown a lot in the last year. Parents, don't let your kids hang around too long. It will only make the transition harder. Fortunately my grandmother taught me personal finance and my debts are very low.
I'll be 30 by the time I successfully move out and I can relate that I suffer from a lot of self doubt. Something is telling me the later I make the transition, the harder it will be. Any advice on how to feel more confident completely standing on your own two feet?
Your worldview is pretty sad compared to most Asian homes. Yours is one of the reasons that so many people live in debt in America. Multi-generational households are a great way to accumulate wealth and be debt free.
quick tangent regarding the math on that $6,000 she needs to find as a summer college student. at minimum wage of $7.25 she would have to work 827 hours over about 12 weeks (the length of summer break for most college students) that would amount to approx 70 hour work weeks. College is expensive. Imagine if she didn't qualify for the pell grants!!!
What if I still stay at home to save money to buy a house, since my parent is renting as well. This way the whole family save money in a over all rent. Is that okay? provided I don't spend earning on things that are unnecessary for job/living.
Millennials living at home falls on the parents. They should start encouraging their kids to be independent at 10-12 years. Not start at 18. Kids need to be taught independence gradually otherwise they get overwhelmed. Also, all the schools are liberal and keep their students to depend on people.
This might be the best comment I've seen on here! I believe if more parents started introducing responsibility earlier on, it would come more naturally for these young adults and we wouldn't have so many 20 and early 30-somethings hesitant on leaving the nest. It'd be more of a natural transition.
My father never paid for anything living at home under 18 while I was in High school. I had to pay my own pager bill, car insurance, gas, car, clothes, & Etc. Old School father. No excuses.........
This is a topic that has me torn with Dave's ideals. I think it's because I am asian and the eastern way of family is just so different from western perspectives. The idea's for money is still the same but I personally agree with my parents way of raising and seeing family not to discredit dave's view because this dude know what he's talking about.
These kids are trying their best, like you CHOSE to bring these kids into the world. The world isn’t as cheap for millennials to just go and move out automatically as soon as they turn 18. Parents need to realize the cost of living isn’t the same as it used to be. It’s like as soon as they turn 18 they’re automatically expected to be full adults. Like the kids are tryinggggggg
Wow! Dave’s a great dad. I’ve buying everything for myself all through school, and pay off school. So now that I’m done, I’m hoping to go asap. It’s just hard finding a good paying permanent job. Good luck to Maureen’s girls tho.
American mentality seems to be quite different from that of Indian mentality. For starts we Indians have a natural tendency of trying to save more and spend less in comparison to americans who use a lot of credit cards meaning mokre debt. It think Mr Ramsey seems to be missing the core issue of financial stability and that is the tendency to save. The more you save now , the more you can spend like crazy later.
We let our kids live with us so long as they're in school. They pay for their own phone, transportation, and school. We provide room & board, Internet, and food.
Has no one ever heard of Scholarships? It is not a Student Loan vs. Pay it Yourself World. Get enough scholarships to bridge the gap. Also I never went home permanently (except summers) after I went to college at 17. I was the first in the School of Communications to get a job when I graduated which was at The Wall Street Journal in a different state. Consider that you may get a job after you graduate from college and it will not be in a location where you can come back to your parents house, you will have to learn to live on your own. FYI when I did get my new apartment I quickly learned there is a whirl of difference between actually doing it and having to pay for light, gas, electricity etc. and simply "planning for it"😎
I don't understand why ppl decide to have kids when they want to kick them out at the age of 18, I'm sorry but as a parent you have to spend for your kid even when he's grown up and struggling with finance issues, being lazy is a completely different thing, if you're smart enough then you should teach your kid how to start make money from early age
Sounds like they are the ones that are actually horrible with money and that now that they are all into their savings and baby steps they are playing pretend drill sgt with their kids. An 18 year old living at home and going to school is spoiled? What did she think was going to magically happen to him when he turned 18? God gives him a few grand to find a place and a job that pays enough to pay rent while going to school full time. Parents like these don't love their kids. That's just a fact. If your kid is at home being a bum I get it, and I get the attitude of telling a kid once he graduates he needs to leave because he needs to spread his wings. But the types that have that "as soon as he hits 18 its time to go" thing. Idk if its just cultural or what. But I struggle to comprehend how such a parent actually loves their child.
I kicked my kids out at 14, best decision ever! Once they get their working papers there is no reason to work less than 80 hours a week! I PAID my way through school!
You know the women on the phone is white. just started paying for there phone bill at 24. I started working at 15 and started paying my phone bill at 16 doing laundry paying my rent.
J Brandon are you a black guy who's family lived on welfare until you got a job? I started working at 15 in high school and then entered the construction business as soon as I turned 18 right before I graduated high school
Only in the USA do kids get treated like such a burden and kicked to the curb at a certain age range. In other countries there are 3 generation families in one home. I guess the USA is too greedy. Even China is starting to treat elderly like so much unwanted burden in favor of personal wealth. Even higher education isn't really enough to compete. Most specialized jobs are more than often a "who you know" thing, while the unskilled jobs are often 100 applicants to one job. Even the fact many public schools are getting university class sizes; from reproductive sprawl. That will create even more problems for job competition in adulthood. I have heard it said that with the babyboomer generation now retired, and Gen-X getting closer to it, and there won't be enough younger people with jobs to adequately support the social security fund.
![[4K] Watch SpaceX Catch A Starship Rocket From Space!!! #IFT5](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pIKI7y3DTXk/mqdefault.jpg)
Boy, Am I glad my parents weren't like this woman. When I went to college I worked part-time and lived at home. Doing so made it possible for me to not get any student loans and even have some money saved by graduation with zero debt! In exchange, with the money I saved I'll be able to give back to my parents once they're older and need financial assistance from me.
John Titor Why? Because she wants her daughters to become real adults?
Swimmin Wit Da Fishies
"Real" adults? What do you mean? What defines someone as a real adult? Renting out an apartment and paying bills defines that? Nahh
Swimmin Wit Da Fishies 🤣🖕🏼
@@SwimminWitDaFishies you’re completely wrong about being a “adult”
This needs to stop, this i can give my parents financial assistance when they are old. They should not ever need financial assistance, specially if you are considered middle class in this country. 500 a month in a retirement account is close to 5M after 30 years. Stop having perpetual car loans all your life. Unless you have lived in poverty your whole life you should not become a burden to your kids. Needing to live with your kids for medical reasons vs living with them because you squandered all your money all your life are very different reasons.
Ppl need to stop living above your means and be smart with their money. Cause all you are doing is putting more pressure on you, by saying you need to support your parents, and messing up your kids future in more ways than one.
My father's solution to this was he told me as long as I was in college, I could live under his roof and eat meals at his house. I paid for my own car, gas, etc. (there were no cell phones back then, but I guarantee you I would have had to pay for that also). I also had to help mow the yard, take out the trash, etc. When I graduated, he expected me to get a full time job and move out, which is exactly what I did. He passed away three days ago, at 91. I've been completely debt free since 2012, own my own house and two cars. Guess his method worked, in my case.
Your dad sounds terrific and launched you into adulthood well.
I am 27 and a full time biology teacher. I live at home and pay the mortgage and bills. my mom doesn't need to work because of my income. my point is that as long as you contribute to the home, it's okay to live at home. then again, we are a Mexican household.
minipax Them enchiladas too good to leave behind, huh?
Came to this country at 16 moved out at 18. I love my independence, & I'm Mexican too.
Mario Hernandez try doing that in Mexico buddy.
I’m 22 If I tried to leave my Parents house they would hang onto my legs and beg me to stay
White people : we love our family
Always has someone else take care of the parent or kid
Immigrant people: we love our family
We take care of our own because they took care of us when we were young A I we take care of them when they are old
An 18 year old not knowing what she wants to go to school for is... well... normal. No need to punish her with a 60-80 hour work week. Her parents should act like parents and help her find internships, apprenticeships, career days, etc.
Working also helps you decide on a career. If you’re not sure what you want to do, paying tuition until you figure it out is a dumb move.
Shes young im young we can work 80 hour weeks easily young people CAN do it theyre just to lazy and stupid to know they can make quick money short term that will help if they save it up
if they blow it on gucci and fashion nova so they could "look rich" but have an empty account their parents didnt raise em rite
@leaderoftheworldputin I do agree with letting your kids figure out longer than just "Hey you're 18, get life figured out!" Especially when in society (at home and at school) the only option we get is college. "Military and trade jobs? HA, that's for dumb people" is what I would get told. Now I'm barely starting my career and living with mom and dad for the next year until I save up.
How is working punishment
@@WeKnowTheTruth2012 that's right
As a Japanese guy one told me, it's the parents job to make sure their child is prepared for the real world, if you toss them out there and they end up homeless or on hard drugs it reflects more on you as the parents.
Stop using "culture" as an excuse for enabling prolonged dependency.
“Two grown adults 18, 24, still living at home working part time and going to school”, doesn’t sound bad to me. Sounds as if they’re trying to go further in life. At 18 you’re probably just graduated high school or still in high school. Give me a break. That’s not a grown adult, that’s still a child trying to figure out their life. Can’t handle these types of parents.
Doesnt sound bad to me either lol 👍🏿
Yeah, I'm concerned about 35 or 40 year olds living at home. These individuals need to leave, not an 18 year old kid.
I have ason and 2 grand kids living with me and the thing about it i pay rent they dont and i dont know how to get him to leave. The only reason why i pay the rent is because i have a16 yr old and a 13 yr old what should i do ?can somebody help me.
@@gradypeterson1670 kick em out bro
18 year olds aren't children. They may still be in school/college, but legally they're adults and their brain has almost finished growing.
I lived at home until I was 27. Paid room and board. When I left home, I had a big down payment on a house I paid off in 11 1/2 years.
I'm 24 and I live with my mother. I work full-time and I pay rent, my phone bill, car insurance, gas, food and my own college tuition.
christianmetalpwns Way to go! I'm 24 in the same position. That's how it should be.
I wouldn't be too proud of that...
This is mutually beneficial. Parents get rent payments they wouldn't otherwise and kid gets affordable living!
You are a loser. Get your own place.
@@beng4151 he's a winner saving money and helping his family not everyone wants to give away most of their income away lol
I think they are being a bit harsh on the 18 yr old.
agreed.
No, it's not about the money. It's about loving your children so much that you can impart some smarts to live without you, that's the whole point of having progeny, to let your ilk live on without you and they be strong enough to carry your genes to the second and third generations and further. Catering to weakness in your child will make them weak, stop it.
+pjgumby. Saludos It is an American just like putting mom and dad in an old folks home you are right I will never understand 10/4
pjgumby So, those adult kids will never see you again.
Aaron Kisselbaugh In terms of going to school, that depends on what degree you get and if that guarantees you a higher paying job, just to point out.
The problem with some of Dave's advice regarding this type of topic was that he was already wealthy by the time his kids reached this age, so it was no problem for daddy to pay their way. He needs to keep in mind that not all parents can afford to keep paying their children's way - some of us need to put a lot of money into investments so we can retire with dignity. I think he forgets what "most" families can afford.
He never said he paid for their college. My parents couldn't so we worked even from the dorm
how about dont have kids if youre trying to kick them out as soon as legally possible?
Like they got money to pay for expensive rent this days
Kids need to grow up eventually.
We spoiled them...with clothes, food, roof over their head, etc..
😂.
I'm guessing this mom didn't get out on her own....she just got married and left home 😬😬
Right! Cause if they have to work/pay for college themselves you didnt spoil them. Not to mention, they work partime(probably at minimum wage jobs) and one of them is paying off a student loan and theyre paying their own phobe bill. Yet you want them to contribute to household expenses every week? Where do you think this money is coming from?
My parents said people that live under their roof share their values and go to church on Sundays. I hit the bricks the day I graduated high school and never looked back or regretted it.
lol at people having kids, then wanting to leave them for dead once they hit 21 without being able to lead them in any direction
I wonder if this guys kids will let him live with them when he's 80. Or maybe they will give him six months, then to the streets?
+Stephen Gamber okay what about 85 - 95 years old when they can bearly do anything .
+Stephen Gamber okay what about 85 - 95 years old when they can bearly do anything .
Amen!!
Naw, one diaper change then he's kicked to the curb, he's a goner before he was even a goner! Gotta love (not) some lethal brats, they make good news stories.
Six months with an exit plan in place.
This is utterly ridiculous. In my opinion, our job as parents is to prepare our kids to be successful. To say get out of my house at 21 because you have a college degree now is a set up for financial failure. If my child has to stay at home till he/she is 26 and financially/occupationally ready to put down a good down payment for a house. That is the best case scenario in my opinion. I usually love your insight Dave but you are incredibly wrong on this one.
NEWYORKSL If you have a child that is "productive" I don't see why he/she shouldn't be able to live with you until they're financially set. I think Dave's point is for young adults who are disrespectful, lazy, and refuse to work or go to school which makes logically sense.
Totally agree. And what about mental fitness?? it's best for mental health to have a support system.
Even me at age 8 felt that kicking your kid out at age 18 was a bit harsh.
Wow, I am impressed that you are learning from Ramsay at your age. You will be a millionaire by 20!
Thank god I have a mother that is nice and lets me stay at home while in college.
How is having your child spend all of their paycheck towards bills helpful? As long as theyre going to school, Id pay everything and push them towards graduate school. After all schooling let them save up for a year and then have them move out 😌
@Richard Dixon Aw, why would you say such vile thing?
Wow great insight from someone who had their schooling and the majority of their expenses paid for by daddy dave
I doubt Rachel has had to pay a dollar out of pocket for anything in her entire life. She was completely funded by daddy, and then her husband. Not sure how she’s in a position to give any advice on this.
M do you know this for a fact or are you just mouthing off?
Walt I'm a Man I have 4 sisters, I know what M says is 100% true
@Yo Ma What are you talking about? Rachel's dad is rich. No way she paid for anything
@@GUURL101 You must be new. She was on her own after college. Search Davy Ramsey "how to help our 24 year old son". That call will explain it all to you.
@@GUURL101 yes. That would be the logical conclusion 👍🏿
from a Hispanic point of view we can't relate to this move out of the house at 21 we are very close as a family is a culture thing and sometimes we I hear people talk like this about their kids it sounds cold and like if they are talking about a pet or something.
It's not a cold thing. We love our family as much as you do. But my husband and I teach our kids about independence and yes, we want them to experience the burdens of life on their own. It makes them stronger.
Saludos love will also make u stronger in a different way, just a different point of view.
Jenn Menzel Horrors! Do you mean that you taught your children how to live without you and they learned how to survive on their own? How can this be?! Wait, wasn't this the pattern for most of human history, or am I mistaken? Isn't this the goal of child rearing or am I totally clueless? I'm confused now, raise children to adults. Ok, job done. Adults won't leave, ok, time for another facts of life discussion! Need to talk my minnie me, yeah buddy!
+Jenn Menzel I don't understand this culture of shaming people that choose to stay at home until they are financially secure. People can live at home and still learn how to be independent. Why would you willingly put your kids into a strenuous situation when there's an easier way that gets the same result? To brag about how independent they are? They'll have an independent, stressful lifestyle. Meanwhile, the person that saved while staying at home is able to afford a nice place to live without any unnecessary stress.
It's called raising a child to independence. Some are ready at 17, some ready at 20. Past 20, it's not healthy when their adult persona's are being forged. Any one past 20 with opposable thumbs with a sound mind and a strong back can work to be on their own. Otherwise it's plain laziness, cheapness, or lack of confidence. Besides, at least before you get on your own, a hope chest of some sort, some savings, a job if even just part time, should be in order. The natural thing for parents is to make a smooth road for their progeny, but it really is in the long one not a wise thing, nor a kind thing to do. Give them wings, make them fly. Your children will never soar without wings. Don't hold on to your children, don't make them feel guilty for growing up. Let them soar.
No matter how much of an adult you are, you will always be in a parent/child dynamic as long as you live under their roof, which hinders true maturation.
What is maturity? Who are we to decide a standard for every human being on this planet?
@@DrDiabolical000 if a person continues to live at home while not going through the normal stages of adulthood the term is known as "failure to launch", or Peter Pan Syndrome. It's suspended adolescence. Look up the medical journal by Dr Roseann titled, "What is Failure to Launch Syndrome". There's usually a mental health component to the syndrome and it does involve being unable to "leave the nest", which hinders one's ability to obtain executive functioning (life)skills. Continuing to live at home allows FTL's to rely on other adults to help them with "strategic organizational and problem solving skills", instead relying on themselves.
When adult children continue to live at home it is not a true stranger roommate situation, it is a system of support that can lead to delayed adulthood *because* of the aforementioned. It's just a fact by nature and design. An adult child will always be an adult child.
When I was in high school I always had a part time summer job. I went to a state university and took out 4 yrs of student loans (back then, the best rate was 9%!) Within 2 months after graduating, I scored a full time job and was back living at home paying $200/month "rent" to my parents. As a wedding gift, my mom gave me back my "rent". I paid off my student loan (and a used car loan) EARLY because I was able to live at home. It can all be done, IF you WORK at it!
May be a cultural thing. My parents wanted me to live them until as long as possible. But had I been lazy or abusing the priveledges, they would have never put up with it. I went to school, had a job the whole time, and helped keep the house clean. Worked well for me. Now I have the privilege of fully being able to take care of my father financially. Not sure how other cultures work but this is pretty typical of the traditional Asian culture.
i don’t like the “live under my value system” line. mainly because it strikes a nerve and some awful memories.
i became muslim when i was 17, still living at home. my father had this attitude and i was nearly forced outside of my parents home and into homelessness. luckily my mother was smarter than that and allowed me to stay at home. i’ve been working full time since i was 17, i now make an anual salary of 40k.
i’m now 23 and still living at home with my parents. debt free, owning my own 2018 car. having gotten that all by myself without my family’s help (besides allowing me to stay home rent free) all because they allowed me to stay rather than kicking me out for our differences in religion.
staying home was a blessing. i was able to pay for my own car, save up, invest and i’m even able to pay my way through pre med without loans. and i’m planning on putting myself through medical school without loans as well.
it’s not always black and white.
Why would his kid not agree with her father ? “Rachel what do you think ?” “ oh i agree” 🤣🤣
There absolutely nothing wrong with your children living at home if they’re 18 yrs old and 24 . They are going to school and working. My goodness what’s wrong with that!! An 18 yr old doesn’t know anything about living on their own bc they’re young adults and no need to throw them out if you truly love them. It’s a rough world out there , why rush to get them out so fast. I love my children and have helped pay for their education , plus food and a roof on top of their head with the help of God Almighty of course. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I'm Italian and I agree with you! I've taught my sons so much more as adults. They do laundry, their bills, cooking and they are putting money away 😄❤😄
I cannot agree more. I moved out at 17. I went to college and paid my way through. The person I became in those first 6-8 months... I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. It made me very independent and strong. Now I'm able to help others.
Very well done, that is impressive to be honest.
Get a gym membership. Health is wealth. And I'd recommend dropping that feminist jargon while you're still young.
@@terence.j And I expect better from you being a black man. Knowing that troupe "I'm an independent and Don't need No Man" BS has destroyed our community. Do better and be a leader brother not a follower.
Parents need to learn how to be parents.
I just turned 18 and still in high school so I'm too old to live at home with my parents and my parents should kick me out? 🤔
Not yet. If that's what you got from this - and I'm sure you're being sarcastic - you're not ready to move out yet.
Yeah didn’t agree with Dave or Rachel on this at all. 18 isn’t a grown adult, that’s a child still in high school or just graduated and they want them to move out. Yeah okay.. that’s totally realistic.
Good question.
@@hj-mh1ge the human brain isnt fully developed until a person reaches and turns 25. That is like a peak age.
The frontal lobe, I believe it is, which is the part that controls decision making is still not fully developed.
That is why it is also recommended that you get your wisdom teeth pulled out. 18 is supposed to be considered the age of wisdom. Hence the name wisdom teeth.
When anyone gets older, it becomes a problem.
Hope that truck in your pfp is paid for and you didnt take out a loan for it
moving out at 18 or 21 was realistic, affordable, and normal 60 yrs ago.
union jobs everywhere
white collar jobs everywhere
low job entry requirements
college could be paid for easily
exports were strong
Fast forward to 2020:
Blue collar jobs overseas
white collar jobs to India
complete export/import imbalance
College is extremely expensive
2008 recession still affects millennials
high medical insurance costs
stop applying boomer expectations to the awful situation of many young people.
I got so sick of boomer relatives telling me to do what they did and how great it worked. "I worked 60 hours a week at a job I hated for 20 years and now I have a $1000 a month pension" as if that option still exists or is even the right answer.
I understand the Ramseys' point-of-view, but I agree with commenters below. Personal independence is a strong Caucasian-American value, whereas family loyalty is lauded among other ethnicities within the United States. My family is not white, but we have been in the United States for multiple generations and hold both values. There are 3 siblings: one moved out in college, one in his mid-20s, and I moved out (for the last time) after finally getting a stable job after grad school. I was 32. If my family had ever indicated that they wanted me out of the house, I suppose I would have had some character-building challenges to meet. But since they didn't, I am grateful and don't regret a thing. Average rent for a one-bedroom apartment in my lower-middle-class Los Angeles neighborhood is currently $1430 per month.
That's a great phrase: "Go get your own." I did not plan it and would not universally recommend it, but the last time I moved out of the family home was when I was 32. The university where I pursued my master degrees and later was an adjunct professor (paid extremely little) was only a 45 minute drive from the house. So, especially as an unmarried Asian-American female, it made sense to save money and live at home.
@@licoreen I completely agree with you the values are different.
As an aside some Asian businesses are family run and the family may live together or close by. This is also true of many Pakistani families who create a strong financial base in business, buy up nearly the entire street of real estate and rent it back to the whites. Their family grows richer and richer and no one else can get their hands on the same housing.
If well managed, focused and cohesive the group tends to fare better than the lone wolf.
$2200 now
LOL, princess Rachel knows it all, doesn't she?
Me Goofy she does because she had a great financial mentor...her father
@@KnockoutInvesting who paid for her school, and with worth millions
dog guy - what’s wrong with that ? Dig himself out of debt and learned to manage his money wisely. I don’t know why people hate on those who’s parents have paid for things for them. Boo hoo.
You don’t need to lose everything. She was paying attention to Dave growing up. Great head start!
She’s Dave’s daughter?
I left home at 18. Never went back. Never regretted it. Still finished school.
"Living under MY value system"..... there he goes with gifts with strings attached.
You can live at home and still learn to be responsible but living by yourself sure does make you more mature about things, for me anyways. Some will maybe just not care
She's only 18 I'm 25 and doing nothing
Your day is coming and it will be a very painful one.
Sheriff Hoyt You think you're smart, but the only person you're fooling is yourself.
if I had kids, they could stay with me as adults. As long as they paid rent and obey my rules.
She's 24. let her stay till 30! nothing wrong with helping your kid get ahead.
I moved out at 29, bought a house; could of only done that by living at homes a little longer.
send your kid out too early they rent apartments or maybe get a 1 bed 1 bath condo. stay 5 or 6 more years and have them work and save. well in GTA average house now is 1 million. so it's the norm in canada.
Base line GTA=grand theft auto?
Hattie lol.. greater toronto area.
canada
Base line - I'd only let my future child stay with for similar reasons - to work out of debt or save up for a down payment on a house. I want to see my child succeed. However, if I see anything like cruise or international traveling then I would have to put to an end.
I live in Asia and in my culture you can stay at home as long as you like, it's actually favorable since there will be someone to look after your aging parents, I don't really like it though when your siblings started to marry and still live in the house with their new spouse. we are all grown ups but still live with our parents but since we're all working, we are the ones shouldering the expenses.
I was born in Asia (Philippines), but this is America. And we live under American values.
Asian people have something to teach the West - you save at home and when your parents are old you look after them, not put them in an old age home to die alone.
ablg234 so true..👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
+ablg234 Depends on the parents, sadly.
Same In Africa. I can't really speak on that since I left Togo to come to the United States at seven years old in 2002.
But whenever I go back, not much changes, but it is based on a french school system. At noon, everyone gets a break. 1 to 2 hour break and come back for the afternoon session.
French is the primary language and is taught and spoken at and in school. Mina is the Native language and is spoken at home. That all has to do with the history of the country being a French colony back in the day.
so funny seeing these parents doing everything for the kiddos. after high school, i left for college 12 hours from home. best decision ever! no gov't financial aid and and no support from parent. thank God that He gave me wisdom to know what had to be done. wouldn't have it any other way.
I moved back after a divorce, depression, and slow down in Career.
From a Thai standpoint, it's quite baffling to see how much emphasis Americans place on children. While they do have Child Protective Services that can intervene if parents are deemed unfit, it's intriguing that once these youngsters hit 18, some parents opt to kick them out, citing a legal loophole that relieves them of further responsibility.
Turning 18 doesn't magically equip someone with all the tools they need to navigate the complexities of life. It's a critical age where guidance and support are still crucial. Parents play a significant role beyond legal obligations, helping their children tackle the challenges that come their way. Life doesn't follow a strict script, and a bit of parental wisdom can make a world of difference.
its a rather "hardcore" lifestyle tbh... but ultimately throwing your kids to the wolves at that age is somewhat comical
but i uno that's just the way people think, but being too kind to your kids will destroy them
It seems like debt is the biggest stressor for these parents.
The only period in time where generations didn't live under one roof. Sad reality that it's ending but your gunna have to.
This question is like a broken record... Im ready for some new fresh questions.
Agreed. This question has been done to death and is NOTHING more than fodder for Dave and his princess.
SonOfMarvin It keeps getting asked because nobody has good answers, our economy is bad, and people went to school for degree in a flooded market.
In my family, we usually don't mind as long as the kid is making something of themselves. Let them get ahead and maybe they will help you out in the future. Of course that doesn't mean the rules aren't strict, but life isn't so easy that everyone has it figured out by 18-20 years of age.
Only in America have I heard of parents so anxious to kick their kids out of the house as soon as possible
in most asian culture parents dont kick their kids out
Ever thought about that ? Like right ?
Kids need to grow up, get a job and a freakin LIFE. ive seen so many situations like this where it ends badly.
Rachel, if Dave Ramsey was not your father I would love to have seen you working 80 hours a week, fully paying for your school, paying rent, paying all your bills, and be debt free at age 18. Oh that’s right it wouldn’t have happened. But yet you’re so quick to judge others who didn’t have the privelage of growing up in a household like yours. This question was not answered realistically.
You can't even spell priviledge enough said
Seriously? This is why we have poverty. People waste time complaining about made up excuses. The reason her dad makes a difference is because she knows better. After seeing this video, you know better! If you want to make excuses for why you're not succeeding, that's fine. Just don't waste my time, Dave Ramsay's time, or Rachael's time!
hah, you know rachel so well? Enough to know what she would do in some non existent reality. You seem to have the victimhood loser mentality that accepts losing before the game starts. I moved out at 19 and worked a part time AND full time job while going to school FULL time. It can be done and just because someone doesn't HAVE TO does not mean THEY CANT.
@@dillpickle2171 privilege lol
@@dillpickle2171 you can't either! 😂
What I find so puzzling is the late 20's to 30's young folks--where do they find a place to DO IT?
Hotels or the basment.
I USED to respect and admire Dave and Rachel very much. However, I have lost respect for them.They are WRONG about this. Rachel married a guy who is VERY well off, which is fine, but she is NOT really speaking from personal experience, and honestly, she sounds very judgemental. With all due respect to her, she got married, so yeah, you do need to move out then. But, so what if someone is say, 29 years old, single and has a good income and is lucky enough to be living with their parents and not paying a landlord or interest on a mortgage. Stay with your folks as long as you can. It's better to keep the money in the family than to give it away to somebody else. Take it from someone who knows firsthand what life is like when you are NOT a member of the rich Ramsey family. STAY AT HOME AS LONG AS YOU CAN. Now, that does NOT mean be a bum, don't work, be lazy and all that. Work, make a living, pay your parents substantial rent, do things around the house, and pay your own way. Now, I'm not saying NEVER leave. But, really, unless you are about to get married and start a family and all of that good stuff, what is the point hurrying out of the house? Save your money for awhile. Otherwise, you will just be giving it away to Dave's friends in the mortgage industry.
Bingo!
Wow, what a stretch of logic that is. It's not even about the money. It's about the parents having confidence in severing the support to their grown up progeny, it's about young adults who got a clue all their lives on how to grow up. People always say how kids seem to grow up fast these days, I beg to differ, they know more, but they aren't growing up. My parents during the Korean war married right out of high school, my father soon went to war overseas. Their generation just so seamlessly stepped into adult roles with no angst or fanfare. I was born in 1957, I still marvel at their generation's achievements!
Me Goofy
100% correct.
Me Goofy spitting the truth
Me Goofy 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
If the kids are going to school or saving/working full time then I don't see an issue. Granted, I have the point of view from someone who lived with his parents until I was able to save money and buy a home.
GamerNRetro
After high school I stayed with my mom for two years. Worked 8 hours a day doing construction work. Help with food,bills,and such. I saved the rest.
Then I applied for pell grant and school loans,got everything fixed on my car,packed up what little I had and drove across country to aeronautics school.
One of the most exciting times of my life.
I don't see an issue either 👍🏿
my wife siblings are 33 and 35, both with a child. the 35 yr old son stays home and doesn't work. the 33 yr old sister lives in a family member home for free but somehow has 400$ gas bill. Well my wife's mom pays all the sister's bills"car payment, food grandson" so she wont stay at home with my inlaw. her sister works 10-12 hour a week. I know ,hard to believe but its so true . My wife's mom works in her 60's at about 2k a month because she is scared to make her kids grow up...........dumb
Mama needs to get fed up and kick some aging birdies out of the nest!
Here in San Francisco, the median price for a one bedroom apartment is $3700 per month. Private school tuition is $75,000 per year. Next to NYC,this city has the most billionaires in America. Also, you see many, many people living in RVs, cars or who pitch tents in the streets since California has the highest level of poverty in the nation. The disparity between rich and poor is extreme. Jobs are unstable since we all sign at-will contracts which means we are subject to a gig economy. Dave Ramsey is deluded and should consider himself lucky to be a baby boomer and thus the beneficiary of the wealth-building era of the 1970s/1980s.
This is true, the boomer generation don't realise that it was generally easier to get jobs at that time compared to now. I would know, I've been rejected so many times.
@@MG-hi9sh hang in there 🤗 Your alive and well and everyday something great can happen 🙏🤗🇺🇸
@@lisalee2885 Thank you for your encouragement. 🥰
I am progressing further in the application process compared to before, so I'm getting closer. Maybe I'll get myself over the line eventually.
@@MG-hi9sh Hi...Of course you will 😁🙏 Walk in faith and that means knowing no matter what YOUR Gonna Make It 🌸🌻🌸🌻 and choose to be happy everyday 😂😂😂
I'm 28 and my boyfriend and I have lived with his parents now for 2 in half years! I see everyone my age with decent jobs, settling down and buying a house! We're always saving a little money at a time but it's expensive to live where I am here in Florida. Thankfully, we have a good structure at our household. It took a lot of work. I help his mom with the cooking and cleaning and whatever she wants me to do! We go out together and have a great relationship! We buy our own food, pay for gas, pay for our phones, help with heating and electric. We have only have one vehicle and we can't afford another one right now. I'm content though and very thankful for the people I have around me!! We still struggle but not as badly because we only have to pay half on bills! If you live with your parents and have a good structure you'll be fine!! But, you have to have a finish line eventually! I don't want to be in this situation forever but at least we're able to save money while we can!! You can do whatever you want and live with who you want. Don't let other people bring you down! But if you can, start saving as soon as you start working and you should be somewhat set when you graduate!! I loved having our own place at one time but it just didn't work out for us!! Just keep saving and wishing for the best for your future!!
I'm 23 btw, so I'm hardly experienced. I've never had a job before.
👍👍👍. Kids are a reflection of their parents..
I think the parents should let the kids pay more when it comes to the car, gas and insurance. If the 18 year old wants to work full time, then she will grow up really fast. I think Dave's advice is really good for this situation.
Western mentality about moving out is why care homes are thriving. Even working and progressing that way should be fine. Going university unless you're doing something as doctors or lawyers etc isn't worth it
Nor is it necessary 👍🏿
Should you encourage your kids to get out on their own? Yes. Should you also realize that they are going out into a world much different than the one you entered at that age, also yes.
Mine put up for me for two years until I could secure gainful employment and that went a long way towards getting my student loans paid off.
What did you major in?
This parent is irresponsible and selfish. You should be the one paying for your daughter school.
Its called SELF MOTIVATION!! I agree with you Dave and Rachel. Moving out after college was the greatest thing for me! I was ready to leave the house after college. I have student loans and working my debts off. Staying at home would have given me a chance to pay debts down faster. However, I needed to grow as an adult and learn things in life on my own. I don't care if your college was paid for in full or your in major debt, leaving the protection of your parents house and finding your way in life is INVALUABLE!!!! Nothing can replace that knowledge and might be worth more than my degree I received.
Thats a little thing called life bud. Hope your connected to a good church and Ill keep you in my prayers.
Let's see. Option A) move out way too soon and give your money away to Dave Ramsey's cronies in the mortgage industry. OR. Option B) Stay put for awhile, live right, save money and get your own place later on when it makes sense. Yeah, I went with B. And I am FAR better off because of it. Oh, and by the way, just because someone moves out after college, or whatever, it does not mean that they automatically "find their way in life". I've seen plenty of people move out and end up on the streets because they didn't pay the rent. How "mature" is that?
I have lost a ton of respect for Rachel. She needs to get off of her high horse and quit judging people because they live at home and save their money instead of giving it away to her daddy's buddies who work in the mortgage industry. That comment about how "they will just stay there and that will become their life" was horrible. I mean, yeah, those who live at home and are bums and won't work or anything should be told (by their parents) to shape up or ship out. But, for crying out loud, why kick someone out who works, pays rent, and helps out around the house? I think the stupidest comment I heard was "oh, it FORCES them to grow up". REALLY?? Are you that naive, Rachel? Moving out forces nothing. I have witnessed that firsthand.
i agree with you MyNephew, every situation is different. if a kid is an abusive lazy drug dealing/using bum who is taking advantage of elderly parents, then yes they should get the boot.
on the other hand if a kid is working, trying to get work, going to school, and being helpful and respectful around the house, they should get every benefit a parent can reasonably give.
pjgumby i respect how you did things, but how i did things worked out with me and my parents, and i think my values including my work ethic are very good.
Then you're golden, never said anybody had to do it my way. I just always questioned parents who discouraged, or delayed the growing up of their children. Sorry but grown up adults past 21 are lazy, inept, maybe a little challenged in the smarts department, or just lack courage or confidence to make it on their own. It's not a normal thing to have a big grown up birdy in the nest, just not normal. Not the design for growing healthy young adults.
carryclass I no longer fry donuts, I'm now a Offset Printer who is very well paid, and I'm not ashamed for having worked in a Bakery. I learned early that working and learning your way through life is preferable to being a moocher.
pjgumby i totally agree.
Dear Rach and Dave I NEEED this video with spanish subtitles so my mother could understand from another point of view that she is NOT helping my siblings (26 and 31, none of them studying) by allowing them to live with them and at their expenses. Please, please, please! help a sister out.
Noelia Fariña on the dave ramsey website he has a couple books in spanish. check them out it might help.
312Frankiej Thank you! I will make sure to check them out.
*Then parents wonder why they're in a nursing home, with no visitors*
the parents let their children go to learn responsibility. If they are not around at their parents' senior age, then they have learned nothing.
@@Granzteelvids Sounds like a lack of accountability responsibility on the parent side with that remark. Which probably explains the outcome that they received.
wouldn't you at least be happy in a nursing home alone that you raised children that can ultimately take care of themselves lol
it's like the mentality that oh i made my son into a tough man with the cost of our relationship
@@MontyQueues sure children are only giving back what they experience. Interpretation is up to the person.
@@TheUzamaki1234 hard times create tough men, tough men create easy times, easy times create soft men, soft men create hard times
I don't get the negative comments. Have those commenters not been paying attention generally to Dave? Let the kids stay at home if they are in school. That allows them to 1. concentrate on studies, and/or 2. put any money they earn towards tuition so they don't incur loans in the first place. Make sure there's an exit plan. Have living at home as a adult tied to conditions such as school. Don't let your child live at home as a adult, without a plan, without an exit strategy, basically continuing to live as a child instead of the adult they are.
He's not advocating kicking kids out as soon as they turn 18, but to be smart about your choices when having an adult child living with you.
Having that fall-back plan of parents is invaluable. I've bounced home once, and it gave me a great place to transition to a new phase in life. But there was always conditions, it always had an expiry date, and then we could all move on.
Finally someone I can agree with on this feed! I’m astounded by the other comments and I’m an adult living at home now! I couldn’t imagine not having a plan.
Carolyn M Dave is also a Christian and doesn’t think people should move in with boyfriends and girlfriends. What do you think young people will do when they get kicked out? Move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I’m 19 I work full time and if my mother kicks me out I’m going right to my boyfriends house.
Thank you for summing up his sound reasoning! 👍
I was okay with "most" of this. At age 18, if a girl wants to take time off because she's not sure what she wants to do, honey, LET HER. Because I have SEEN people leave a private school after hundreds of thousands of dollars because they figure out that they don't want a major in that anymore. So imagine what that's like, to start again being out a hundred thousand.
So let the girl take some time off. If you make her flip burgers 60 hours a week, what is she gunna learn in time for school?
Then she should get a room mate and pay her half of the rent while doing the burger thing. I would not stand in her way if her only ambition in life is to flip burgers. I would NEVER dream of standing in her way, flip burgers to the end of days if that pleases you, but I wouldn't leave my hard earned money to her. Go figure.
If that was her ambition. But not if its forced on her. I'm saying you shouldn't force someone to flip burgers 60hrs a week just because they're taking time off from school to reevaluate things. Did you understand my post at all?
Teaching kids responsibility and work ethic is a must from a young age. My parents helped me and my wife don't go in a huge debt while in college. Also we own a business now because we didn't go into a huge hole. My friend stayed with parents at their home, worked and bought several rental properties before he moved out. I don't agree with kicking kids out, teach them discipline and work ethic from a young age and help them if you can. Later in life they will be thankful and take care of you.
I would rather have money go to my family rather than a random landlord.
dont listen to that guy, youre right :^)
Rachel's exit plan: have daddy pay my entire tuition and then work for daddy
Dave I think you've lost your way on this my grandma who was born in 1900 said that in her day kids would stay as long as they wanted just like The Waltons. In the country people used to stick together and not be financial adversaries as you promote.
Thank you for reminding me of that, that's how family should be! The thing is, it would make rents go down...
avader5 kids had expectations..rules.. chores.. did help to the family unit..
Lol.. it was a bit different..
Love you Guys! And your sound advice!
My grandparents took me in and raised me and I didn't move out until I was 30. I suffered from a lot of fears growing up but I've grown a lot in the last year.
Parents, don't let your kids hang around too long. It will only make the transition harder. Fortunately my grandmother taught me personal finance and my debts are very low.
I'll be 30 by the time I successfully move out and I can relate that I suffer from a lot of self doubt. Something is telling me the later I make the transition, the harder it will be. Any advice on how to feel more confident completely standing on your own two feet?
Your worldview is pretty sad compared to most Asian homes. Yours is one of the reasons that so many people live in debt in America. Multi-generational households are a great way to accumulate wealth and be debt free.
quick tangent regarding the math on that $6,000 she needs to find as a summer college student.
at minimum wage of $7.25 she would have to work 827 hours
over about 12 weeks (the length of summer break for most college students) that would amount to approx
70 hour work weeks.
College is expensive.
Imagine if she didn't qualify for the pell grants!!!
Easy on the gloating there Dave not every family is fortunate enough to not have a crazy member in it lol😁
What if I still stay at home to save money to buy a house, since my parent is renting as well. This way the whole family save money in a over all rent. Is that okay? provided I don't spend earning on things that are unnecessary for job/living.
StupidBadyXD Every circumstance is different. I'd think Ramsey would approve of this because it's a good financial game plan.
Lol just do it if it feels right. Don't worry about anyone's approval, as long as you have a plan...
Orlando but from new york originally
That’s what I heard two seconds in 😂
I'd love for once to hear a Dave Ramsey guest say they disagree with him. Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen.
its crazy watching a few of your videos on the same topic yet you say its ok to live at home while in college and other videos you say to get out!
What's with white people kicking their kids outta the house?
Easy breezy when you grow up wealthy..everyone has different backgrounds doesn't make them bums..or looking to mooch off of parents
I am 54 and I live like this with my parents without a phone with my wife and 2 kids.
Millennials living at home falls on the parents. They should start encouraging their kids to be independent at 10-12 years. Not start at 18. Kids need to be taught independence gradually otherwise they get overwhelmed. Also, all the schools are liberal and keep their students to depend on people.
This might be the best comment I've seen on here! I believe if more parents started introducing responsibility earlier on, it would come more naturally for these young adults and we wouldn't have so many 20 and early 30-somethings hesitant on leaving the nest. It'd be more of a natural transition.
My father never paid for anything living at home under 18 while I was in High school. I had to pay my own pager bill, car insurance, gas, car, clothes, & Etc. Old School father. No excuses.........
Parents like this is ungrateful. Seriously they are trying to better themselves. Don't do that be proud of them
This is a topic that has me torn with Dave's ideals. I think it's because I am asian and the eastern way of family is just so different from western perspectives. The idea's for money is still the same but I personally agree with my parents way of raising and seeing family not to discredit dave's view because this dude know what he's talking about.
These kids are trying their best, like you CHOSE to bring these kids into the world. The world isn’t as cheap for millennials to just go and move out automatically as soon as they turn 18. Parents need to realize the cost of living isn’t the same as it used to be. It’s like as soon as they turn 18 they’re automatically expected to be full adults. Like the kids are tryinggggggg
In the Italian community we enjoy having the kids as long as possible....lol
Amen 🙏🙏🙏 Love my Italian sons 🤗🤗🤗
Wow! Dave’s a great dad. I’ve buying everything for myself all through school, and pay off school. So now that I’m done, I’m hoping to go asap. It’s just hard finding a good paying permanent job. Good luck to Maureen’s girls tho.
American mentality seems to be quite different from that of Indian mentality. For starts we Indians have a natural tendency of trying to save more and spend less in comparison to americans who use a lot of credit cards meaning mokre debt. It think Mr Ramsey seems to be missing the core issue of financial stability and that is the tendency to save. The more you save now , the more you can spend like crazy later.
We let our kids live with us so long as they're in school. They pay for their own phone, transportation, and school. We provide room & board, Internet, and food.
Give deadline otherwise they will stay in school in their 30s
Has no one ever heard of Scholarships? It is not a Student Loan vs. Pay it Yourself World. Get enough scholarships to bridge the gap. Also I never went home permanently (except summers) after I went to college at 17. I was the first in the School of Communications to get a job when I graduated which was at The Wall Street Journal in a different state. Consider that you may get a job after you graduate from college and it will not be in a location where you can come back to your parents house, you will have to learn to live on your own. FYI when I did get my new apartment I quickly learned there is a whirl of difference between actually doing it and having to pay for light, gas, electricity etc. and simply "planning for it"😎
I don't understand why ppl decide to have kids when they want to kick them out at the age of 18, I'm sorry but as a parent you have to spend for your kid even when he's grown up and struggling with finance issues, being lazy is a completely different thing, if you're smart enough then you should teach your kid how to start make money from early age
That's why I'm childfree never gonna force somebody to live
Sounds like they are the ones that are actually horrible with money and that now that they are all into their savings and baby steps they are playing pretend drill sgt with their kids. An 18 year old living at home and going to school is spoiled? What did she think was going to magically happen to him when he turned 18? God gives him a few grand to find a place and a job that pays enough to pay rent while going to school full time.
Parents like these don't love their kids. That's just a fact. If your kid is at home being a bum I get it, and I get the attitude of telling a kid once he graduates he needs to leave because he needs to spread his wings. But the types that have that "as soon as he hits 18 its time to go" thing. Idk if its just cultural or what. But I struggle to comprehend how such a parent actually loves their child.
🎯💯.
Then wonder why they're in a nursing home with no visitor's.
I kicked my kids out at 14, best decision ever! Once they get their working papers there is no reason to work less than 80 hours a week! I PAID my way through school!
You know the women on the phone is white. just started paying for there phone bill at 24. I started working at 15 and started paying my phone bill at 16 doing laundry paying my rent.
Soo true!
J Brandon Same, I got my first phone at 15 when I got a part time. I wanted internet, so I had to pay for it... etc
J Brandon are you a black guy who's family lived on welfare until you got a job? I started working at 15 in high school and then entered the construction business as soon as I turned 18 right before I graduated high school
Heh, if hispanics are so good with money why are their countries complete shitholes?
Only in the USA do kids get treated like such a burden and kicked to the curb at a certain age range. In other countries there are 3 generation families in one home. I guess the USA is too greedy. Even China is starting to treat elderly like so much unwanted burden in favor of personal wealth. Even higher education isn't really enough to compete. Most specialized jobs are more than often a "who you know" thing, while the unskilled jobs are often 100 applicants to one job. Even the fact many public schools are getting university class sizes; from reproductive sprawl. That will create even more problems for job competition in adulthood. I have heard it said that with the babyboomer generation now retired, and Gen-X getting closer to it, and there won't be enough younger people with jobs to adequately support the social security fund.