Gender Therapist Q&A: How Can I Determine If I Should Start HRT?

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  • Опубликовано: 23 дек 2024

Комментарии • 79

  • @fokeyjo
    @fokeyjo 7 лет назад +51

    I wanted to start hormone therapy when I felt I had exhausted all discussion with my therapist. I had explored all the aspects of transition enough to know what the decision was that *I* was going to make. I haven't felt different to the extremes that some people claim (I transitioned late 30's), even after surgery. I think it's important that people are aware that it's not the amazing life-changing experience that some claim it to be. I'm still happy that I've changed, it was the right decision for me and I feel that I am what I meant to be. But who I am is who I already was, don't expect to become someone else because that's an act.

    • @darahoffmanfox
      @darahoffmanfox  7 лет назад +4

      Good advice.

    • @xbduf4gb
      @xbduf4gb 5 лет назад +4

      And don't forget that by middle age, you'll just look like a boring old middle aged man with a pot belly and grey whiskers.

  • @ArcticW0lf21
    @ArcticW0lf21 7 лет назад +58

    I couldn't think of a reason why I wouldn't want to start HRT, and trust me, I tried to find a reason... Anyway, since I started HRT, my mom has said she noticed that I seemed happier. My emotions have always been confused so I have trouble noticing how my mood might be different

  • @heartbreaker4710
    @heartbreaker4710 6 лет назад +4

    Hi Dara you just came up in my feed on youtube. Those who are trans are always close to my heart, inside I have always been a 5 or 6 and have come to the conclusion I'm comfortable where I am for the moment. But looking into this topic has lead to discovering people who have gone through so much hardship and ostracization over the years--there are so many real stories here. I find myself looking to the trans community for inspiration. The pain, hurt, suffering so many have endured and come through to transition and go on to have healthy, exciting lives is very inspirational. Anyway, I just wanted to say keep up the good work, there are so many people who need your incite.

  • @ifiwereme
    @ifiwereme 2 года назад +5

    I struggle with moving forward-including HRT.
    I first noticed discomfort when learning to swim at a young age. I was uncomfortable in boy’s trunks and wanted to be more covered up. I was envious of my female friends because of their swimsuits and how pretty some were. And I skipped my prom because I didn’t want to wear a tux. I was envious of the dresses others had, and wanted to look similar, enjoy such things, and generally fit in. THis still occurs with formal events today.
    I feel like once I begin HRT, it’s a point of no return. And it scares me.

  • @ShawnaTW
    @ShawnaTW 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you Dara. I am so glad that you spoke of psychological changes. My physical dysphoria comes and goes but the mental dysphoria is almost always with me.
    I have a certain amount of gender fluidity which is not helped by work. I am not out and don't believe I have the opportunity to come out. I am hoping that HRT or GAHT or whatever it is called these days will keep me more on the feminine side of gender fluidity. That's what I really need more than anything. I look forward to any other changes though they may be problematic in my life.

  • @rainbowpegacornstudios
    @rainbowpegacornstudios 7 лет назад +41

    I really want to start on hormones. I feel like I NEED to be, my real self. I've hidden her away for most of my life because of bullying. I'm done hiding. I want long hair, I want large hips and boobs

    • @anasophiapetro5939
      @anasophiapetro5939 7 лет назад +1

      Misty Rose Blackthorn s a m e

    • @curiouscat94x54
      @curiouscat94x54 6 лет назад +3

      I'm the same

    • @corinnegodard8358
      @corinnegodard8358 5 лет назад +1

      Why do you NEED to be yourself ?
      What is "yourself" ?
      Was your Dad absent when you were a child, or present physically but absent emotionally or toxic ?
      Was there too much enmesment with your mum ?
      Did she feel lonely ?
      Did she feel subconsciously "safer" with a "castrated" (symbolically) boy because she had had a toxic father or a toxic husband or both ?
      Did you feel very lonely yourself, unseen, unheard ?
      Babies don't feel disconnected to themselves but very often society teaches us to disconnect from ourselves and from others.
      The others are physically present but there is no real and deep connections between the souls, which is a pity.
      I was just wondering.
      You are free to do whatever you like but are you sure that having hips and boobs would be the solution to your problem or is there another solution you haven't thought of yet ?
      Why couldn't you identify with your dad who has the same body as you ? What happened ?
      How do you know there is a real mismatch between the gender in your brain and your sex ?
      They never do scanners of the brain to check ...
      Even if there is a mismatch, isn't it possible to embrace your whole self with this unique characteristic ?
      Isn't it possible to embrace all the aspects of yourself ? All your fragments ?
      Isn't it possible to turn lead into gold ?
      The people who bullied you were wrong and probably made you feel scared, isolated, ashamed, powerless, angry and sad and rightly so.
      Maybe the people who bullied you subconsciouly envied your uniqueness ?
      Why would you make them win by transforming yourself, by taking hormones which can be harmful or by taking other steps which can be even worse and irreversible ?

    • @pskima4274
      @pskima4274 4 года назад +2

      @@corinnegodard8358 you right at one point .. but you are wrong at some part too .. it depends on person to person . Nobody feels the same ... Some people are suicidal and not comfortable with the body they have ,,, hence this is corrected through medical .. some are proud to have what they have by birth. It varies , you can't let the person have the same feelings you have .....

    • @origaminoob1037
      @origaminoob1037 4 года назад

      You got hit in the head

  • @supersawheather
    @supersawheather 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for making this video. Very informative and I appreciate it a lot.

  • @shamansslave
    @shamansslave 6 лет назад +3

    Woot! I managed across a more recent vlog, Dara! :D This is both an easy and difficult question for me, about HRT. As a 40 year old non-binary person with no helpful knowledge of family history around menopause, I'm unsure. I just started the conversation with my therapist (who I was blessed to be with a therapist with gender skills even though those weren't I first presented with); we discussed how it's entirely possible that I could be in perimenopause. I'm not sure there is a "correct" answer for me about hormones.

  • @mrniceguy2923
    @mrniceguy2923 7 лет назад +9

    I was wondering how hard is it to get a job after transition reason I ask is because I will be starting hrt after April I have a job now but there not very trans friendly

  • @senecarus_whitur
    @senecarus_whitur 7 лет назад +3

    I find these videos incredibly useful! Thanks

  • @Kewldewd1991
    @Kewldewd1991 3 года назад +1

    IDK if I'll get a reply. But I didn't get a pop up asking for my email

  • @tracilowenthalpsydcreative2826
    @tracilowenthalpsydcreative2826 7 лет назад +2

    So useful! Thank you for sharing!

  • @jonathonbales9316
    @jonathonbales9316 9 месяцев назад

    The link for the 280 page workbook isn’t working. Instead it reroutes anyone who goes there to an online casino.

  • @dakotanorth1640
    @dakotanorth1640 7 лет назад +5

    Tell me more about thus tool. My picture shows me as I am. I'm looking forward to starting hormones, maybe as soon as in 8 days when I have my next appointment. Thanks for the book. Things are going great except with religious people.
    love, Dakota

    • @darahoffmanfox
      @darahoffmanfox  7 лет назад

      It's free to check out, just go to darahoffmanfox.com and put your email address into the pop-up box and it'll be delivered to you :)

    • @dakotanorth1640
      @dakotanorth1640 7 лет назад

      Thanks. I posted my email because I can't find it.

    • @johnarthurs2899
      @johnarthurs2899 7 лет назад

      Dara Hoffman-Fox johnarthurs12@gmail.com

    • @aaronduncan2045
      @aaronduncan2045 7 лет назад

      Dakota North my brother is a southern Baptist minister, and my family is sort of supportive, idk really. But Amy Grant is a supporter;-)

    • @aaronduncan2045
      @aaronduncan2045 7 лет назад

      I feel not starting hrt is a horrible mistake for me. Even my mental health issues, as bad as they are, not having hrt seems to make it worse. Any suggestions?

  • @Jacob115ify
    @Jacob115ify 2 года назад

    How are are hormones and internal brain self perception connected?

  • @bouffant-girl
    @bouffant-girl 2 года назад

    Hi Dara, I am a late blossoming 🌸 🙂 mtf transgender person and I will be beginning medical and social transitioning in the Sacramento area of California! I am medically disabled, but my spirit is still strong 💪 🙏 🙌 🙂 I plan to enroll part time into a transgender friendly cosmetology college, even though I will have to use a cutting stool due to some congestive heart failure caused by a congenital deformity of my genito-urinary tract which is causing urinary retention! I sm going to try to fast track the bottom surgery, which would significantly improve my heart function! By studying cosmetology, more feminine hairstyles, facial/body hair removal, skin care services can be performed by my fellow students at a much lower cost than I would pay outside of a cosmetology college setting. Once I am licensed, I plan to really focus on helping LGBTQ + people to socially transition! When I comes to hairstyles, I currently wear a tightly permed short pixie cut ✂️ and I am thinking that a roller set bouffant style would be a good way to gradually socially transition at least from a hairstyle perspective. Thankfully, I already have naturally low testosterone levels, and quite low Dht levels combined with higher than average estrogen levels! I am hoping that those levels will reduce the amount of electrolysis necessary once I begin hrt therapy 🙏 I would really appreciate any insights that you think may be beneficial to me! Have a great day 😀

  • @flynn7064
    @flynn7064 5 лет назад

    I just bought one of ur books

  • @ritasuave7036
    @ritasuave7036 7 лет назад +1

    Where is the down loadable tool?

    • @darahoffmanfox
      @darahoffmanfox  7 лет назад

      It's free to check out, just go to darahoffmanfox.com and put your email address into the pop-up box and it'll be delivered to you :)

    • @nessiecz2006
      @nessiecz2006 2 года назад +1

      @@darahoffmanfox theres no pop up box

  • @ParaditeRs
    @ParaditeRs 7 лет назад +9

    lol, "depends on how puberty hit you". Try puberty hitting you to the tune of 6'1 at age 14.

    • @anasophiapetro5939
      @anasophiapetro5939 7 лет назад +3

      Paradite saaame haha. Remember that there's no one way to be a 'woman'/femme

  • @kristenconnors2260
    @kristenconnors2260 5 лет назад +1

    I've been on hormones for 8months, I'm a little leary. I feel so fantastic it's kind of scary. Also my nipples really hurt is there anything I can do to alleviate this.

    • @dustinbirley3031
      @dustinbirley3031 4 года назад

      Kristen Connors wear a comfortable bra

    • @GetWellSoonR.E.M.
      @GetWellSoonR.E.M. 2 года назад

      Massaging lotion or body cream on your tender breasts is amazing for breast tenderness! Giving them a massage after you have a good shower is wonderful, just be super gentle!

  • @ok_kto
    @ok_kto 3 года назад

    Unfortunately in my state minors cannot get hrt :(

  • @cristinacindy7520
    @cristinacindy7520 4 года назад +1

    I need HRT and it would put me at ease 😃❤🥰😀

  • @edwardcarlson2044
    @edwardcarlson2044 7 лет назад +1

    In my previous comment I meant to say ny wife's health . Apologies for the mistake.

  • @vaporwavesalad9014
    @vaporwavesalad9014 6 лет назад

    Could I still use an STP Packer without bottom surgery?

    • @HeyJoeHaze
      @HeyJoeHaze 6 лет назад

      Yes.
      No need to have bottom surgery if you don't want it.

  • @richardbedford6657
    @richardbedford6657 4 года назад +1

    This is philosophical for me. I have had all the TG temptations and GD. Once past those considerations the clincher was this. OK so I am a dissociated female persona and I live in this male physical host. I consider myself to be a real woman. Would a real woman ever diminish her host males virility over vanity? Not a chance! I live in his shadow. I have mastered GD. I am pretty for him and no other.

    • @bouffant-girl
      @bouffant-girl 2 года назад +1

      God wants 🙏 🙌 the very best for all of us, including transgender people. As a Christian ✝️, I personally think t God wants us to be especially compassionate, and to be comfortable being who we are, and blossoming 🌸 ❤️ to ♥️ become true to ourselves! Don't let anyone belittle you, especially "militant christians" as they are not following the true teachings of the Bible! It is crucial that we make our very best efforts to unconditionally love ourselves and our fellow creations! ❤️

  • @leakypfaucet
    @leakypfaucet 4 года назад

    We have the same last name :)) thanks for this video!!!1!

  • @woodentulip
    @woodentulip 7 лет назад

    Great Video Dara. 😁

  • @edwardcarlson2044
    @edwardcarlson2044 7 лет назад +2

    I am a 56 year- old man who spent his life in the position of continuing the family bloodline. I hated hearing my father drilling the importance of that into my head. I have made and raised my children to adulthood and my wife's is not good. I am not too far from retirement and am preparing to be alone again. My question is '"Is it necessary for me to have a recommendation from A gender therapist to begin HRT ?" The only danger to from me would be if they made a mistake that threatens my health.

    • @darahoffmanfox
      @darahoffmanfox  7 лет назад +1

      Maybe this can help:
      I Want to Transition: Do I Have to See a Therapist?
      ruclips.net/video/uTw3RZqFd1Q/видео.html
      Warning, I look a lot different back then!

    • @xbduf4gb
      @xbduf4gb 5 лет назад +1

      @@darahoffmanfox It's not about you

  • @1979Saska
    @1979Saska 3 года назад

    🤩😍🥰😘

  • @AngelKardashian
    @AngelKardashian 5 лет назад

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Parasiteve
    @Parasiteve 2 года назад +1

    You shouldn't

  • @oo3813
    @oo3813 2 года назад +2

    Medicating people to try to look opposite of what their biologically assigned gender at birth seems counterproductive. Feeling uncomfortable in one’s own assigned biological sex is more likely due to underlying mental health issues and chemically castrating people doesn’t seem healthy or like a cure for anything. Please prove me wrong , I am listening. I respectfully disagree and I am concerned about this for society.

  • @timmythewoo9742
    @timmythewoo9742 3 года назад +2

    HEY, Since people don't have to be the gender they were born, and/or don't identify with it, I proclaim - today I don't Identify as a White Male. Tomorrow, I'll be a Black Female, day after: an Asian Male.. After that - maybe a DOG, then a Hamster.. You know,, just whatever my dysfunctional brain can guide me towards. AND NO ONE SHOULD TRY TELL ME OTHERWISE, because "There's Nothing Wrong with that" and everyone HAS to accept it. Just because you see a "White male" doesn't mean that you should treat me as a White male - Am I correct??

    • @laurelgardner
      @laurelgardner 2 года назад +1

      Get a new fucking joke.

    • @w3stipher
      @w3stipher 2 года назад +4

      Nice job, Timmy. You gottem there. Want a cookie?

    • @SebastiansSebastian-fc4pj
      @SebastiansSebastian-fc4pj 2 года назад

      Yeah, you can now be AS a man completely 110% woman, but somehow not skin color like Michael Jackson, man the lgbt sure is racist
      Jk but seriously whenever they pull this shit thy devalue others so much lol, their whole facts and logic are based around what you feel like that Are completely up to you If its true or not