My Experience with Mental Illness & University
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 30 май 2024
- A lot of people often ask what my experience with post secondary education has been like while living with a mental illness such as schizoaffective disorder. In this video, I share what my experiences were like with my first two undergraduate degrees, and then also my more recent attempt at a graduate degree. I share why I ended up leaving my Masters program, and what I could have done differently.
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:36 Highschool
02:23 Starting university
04:42 The ableist structure
05:33 Typical age of diagnosis
06:14 Falling behind
08:26 Feeling like I was cheating
09:20 Taking a medical leave of absence
09:55 Finishing my second degree
12:16 Masters program
13:30 A mistake not to disclose
15:15 Falling behind, again
16:32 Disclosing to my supervisor
18:34 Medical leave of absence, again
20:24 Your own experience can be different
22:34 Universities prove they can make accommodations
JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
Join a welcoming community of your peers and find comfort in sharing your experiences. By joining our community, you can benefit from the support of others who understand what you’re going through. We offer live weekly facilitated video peer support groups and text channels to communicate about a wide range of topics. Join today and start feeling less alone with what you’re going through.
• Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com
• General Mental Illness Peer Support Community: www.onlinepeersupport.com
HELP SUPPORT THE CHANNEL
We depend on the support of our audience to create this valuable resource. If you have found our content helpful, please consider supporting us today. Your contribution can make a huge difference and enable us to continue providing valuable resources to those living with mental illness.
• One-time donation: donate.stripe.com/9AQ6oV5S0ef...
• Monthly donation: / livingwellwithschizoph...
MENTAL HEALTH APPAREL
Wear your support for mental health! Our t-shirts, sweaters, and mugs not only spread awareness but also help support this channel. Pick up some mental health apparel today and make a statement while making a difference.
livingwell.myspreadshop.com/
SPEAKING & CONSULTING
Looking for an expert speaker or consultant for your upcoming event or project? With years of experience and a passion for mental health advocacy, I can provide the insight and inspiration you need to make a positive impact. Visit my speaking website to learn more!
www.laurenkennedywest.com/
SOCIALS
Instagram: / livingwellwithschizoph...
TikTok: / livingwellschizophrenia
Twitter: / lwschizophrenia
Website: www.livingwellwithschizophren...
#schizophrenia #livingwellwithschizophrenia #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #university #college
It hurts that people just label us as lazy when we're actually struggling and putting double the effort other people are, to merely get out of bed, eat, go to class, try to pay attention, try to complete assignements
Lot of ignorant pieces of crap out there.
I agree ☝️ I see my brother struggle with this all the time . I know he tries his best but distraction there all the time
This comment and this entire video Hit extremely close to home for me. I can tell you guys, it's not fun either to study something that is focused almost only on group work, while suffering from depression and severe social anxiety.
So basically my self esteem was non-existent and I had to try to complete difficult STEM type assignments, while also cooperating with other people I was I was really afraid of.
Also, I am female, most of my peers are male. That didn't help either.
I am still not done completely, I took really long, but I will be done soon hopefully and I just really, really wouldn't wish that type of experience on anyone.
I am still glad I don't suffer from anything even more severe, like schizophrenia, and my heart goes out to everyone else with any kind of struggles.
But yeah, to me, my bachelor's just sucked.
Thank you for saying that. I thought I was the only one that thought of that. We do gotta put double the effort and it's hard
If someone with a disability can make it through a degree program then they've accomplished something that has been more challenging than a classmate without a disability. And I empathize because I have physical disabilities, anxiety, and ADD. I came so close to dropping out of a master's program a number of times. I understand making certain accommodations available. But significant extensions to finish assignments, and the like, I don't completely agree with. Employers will usually need workers to finish work by deadlines and there is no extension available in the real world. Like if a client needs something by a certain time, the hired company can't say that they will get the deliverable to them a week late because their employee has a disability. The school wouldn't be preparing the student for the real world and also wouldn't be completely honest to employers who are seeking to hire someone with a degree and GPA given based on the standard level of provisions.
This talk is so important. We get disability help here in the States and teachers generally “go along with it” but once symptoms really get bad, they expect you to suck it up and get the work done. Not all professors. I’ve had some lenient ones. But a good portion of them really don’t care no matter what your durability is. I’ve been hospitalized three times in college during finals (which started about two weeks before finals and ended around a week and a half after) and each time, I’ve had three teachers fail me on the final because I wasn’t present. Yes, they stressed that the final was important. But I stressed to them, to my counselors and dean that I was sick and would need accommodations. It sucks. That’s why I try to turn in my work early. I fall to the deadline half the time. But I’m succeeding primarily on my own. This channel has really helped me understand my symptoms and find healthy ways to cope and to give myself a pat on the back-even when I’m struggling. So thank you for that, Miss Lauren.
When I was in high school, we had two teachers who did not believe in testing. Pretty progressive for the late 70s/early 80s. Our history teacher would hand out the test the day before. We would go through it and he would ask for the answers. I am not bragging too much when I say that only three of us really gave the answers.
My Spanish teacher did much the same. He had been a Professor in Cuba.
My kids all ended up in Special Ed in Jr High and High School. But only my daughter graduated. My boys both dropped out first year Junior.
I was pleased to discover that the local colleges now provide accomodations.
Y'all be typing these journals, I tell you.
@@shalacarter6658 You Go Carter.
@@chriszanders23 Why did you feel the need to say anything though? If you don’t like the comment because it’s long, then don’t read it. Like you’re being a jerk for no reason.
@@RichDavis1 Same. They say most creatives have either bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. I have both and I’m a writer. So I totally feel i you, Rich.
I am having a hard time getting through a graduate program with panic disorder and chronic anxiety. Sometimes I have to re-read material because I lack focus. You did earn it on your own and there is nothing wrong with taking extra time to complete a program. It’s not cheating at all-in fact, I think you’re working harder than other students when you’re dealing with mental health problems or a disability! Most people would walk away due to the difficulty. I am studying to be an addiction counselor and I want to work in behavioral health. Your channel has helped me understand so much about schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. Thank you for this video!
I don't have a mental illness but listening to you, I have alot of respect for you.
If you where my daughter I would be so proud , you kicked ass . Hold your head up high no regrets
were*
ideally that ass should've been that of the ignorant supervisor.
A professor in mental health didn't understand your diagnosis is crazy!!
No pun intended
Yeah people can still discriminate
When I was working in one of the state psychiatric hospitals, I had two panic attacks. They were tossed off as low blood sugar even tho my blood sugar was fine when the nurse tested me!
@@shalacarter6658 "Eat a donut and you'll be fine!"
@@leslienorth2031 um yeah i don't think so...
Finishing my bachlor’s in social work next year while dealing with GAD. It’s so hard to keep up with the demands of university when your mind will latch on to everything and anything else. Thanks for sharing your experiences, it helps to normalise the struggles and to not feel so guilty about the difficulties.
I'm bipolar and spent
High School and University in constant fear of failure. Finished law school in 7 years. Struggled at law profession. It wasn't until I was 50 that I was actually diagnosed.
Hi Jean, please I'd need your help on this. Can we talk?
I didn't mention my illness until I was suspended from my program. I often feel guilty having a mental health diagnosis in addition to having such high expectations for myself. Almost like I must be faking. I have to constantly remind myself that intellect and mental health are two different things. I'm on my last course in my MS Sociology degree. What should have been 1 year took 2 with having to retake failed courses. I respect your struggle. I would encourage prospective students to interview the university on what accommodations they can provide for your needs. I will say that my counselor at GCU has been worth her weight in gold. If she wasn't so wonderful to me I may not have made it this far.
I felt like this too! Not only did I resist my diagnosis for years, but I also have family who simply rejected my diagnosis completely. I internalized this so much that I thought I was faking and didn’t have anything until it controlled so much of my life that I almost crumbled. It is so validating to hear someone else that has had that experience of feeling like faking or guilt over it.
Strongly relate!
I started environmental sciences while diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I only lasted two months, so much anxiety but it was a good experience after all as I learned some things related with the chemical effect of antipsychotics so I feel fine about it, now I understand in a better way how it works (medication). Here in Spain the university is free for disabled people. I think I will apply for some degree but in distance education, not presencial
Presencial means face to face
When you want to learn, the possibilities are infinite. Nothing can stop you from learning when you have the desire to learn, that's what I think
@R I wonder if they pay for foreigners?
We are more than capable, I have schizoaffective bipolar type and I attained a Doctoral degree in Psychology. I did take a semester leave due to hospitalizations, but the lord helped me to the final line. Do not be discouraged, I believe you can make it!
Thats great! I often fear that I can‘t pursue my dream career (which is being a clinical psychotherapist) because of my own mental illnesses. But your story made me feel a little better :) Thanks
@@amiajoketoyou7994 I actually believe that my mental illness made be a better therapist. There are things you learn through experience that you cannot learn in books. I know many therapist who have mental illness, we are not immune to disease. Your testimony is your preparation to be a healing tool. Keep pushing through!
I was just praying to the LORD if post-sec is possible for me (A+ marks) and this was an answer to prayer!!! God bless
I also have schizoaffective bipolar (type 1, mania) and even going to the grocery store is a challenge sometimes. I'm willing to work so hard for that science degree, though. Please, if you read this, please pray for me to get straight-A-pluses... I believe that I can!
@@maryvonbeilstein4123 I will pray to God to help you with your degree and heal you. Remember that with God, all things are possible!
Wow. I never knew our stories were so similar. The self stigma and shame about accommodations was hard to process, but so happy you’ve had the time and distance to truly see what was happening. I’ve had so many of the same thoughts about post-bachelors education, but knowing it doesn’t reflect my value or worth whether or not I have a masters of PhD took me a long time to really understand.
Hey Nathan! Love the segment they did with you! Hope you're doing well 🙏❤
Relate very much too! Thanks for sharing, you're right, you're equally valuable!
For myself, its the shame i feel for getting help when i am an able bodied person, physically im absolutly fine, and i feel i should be able to do the things everyone else can.
Also, feeling like a failure because i can't control my own mind, and i get angry at myself for not being able to comtrol or conquer my delusions and halusinations, along with the fear and anxiety that comes with them.
I feel like ill never win, ive lost this fight.
I started having symptoms in my first year of university, I'm in my third year of university now and got a schtzoefective diagnosis recently, it's gotten a lot harder to work on classes because of it, so I just want to say thank you for sharing your experience. It's really hard
Thanks for telling Aspen Bognner
Thank you for this 🙏🏻 I've psychosis and have just started back at school
This is literally what happened to me too! Thanks for sharing! I thought I was a bit of a failure because of not finishing college cause I got sick! I sadly had no support when in college! This has opened my eyes! Thank you again!
Ditto! I hadn't really let myself think about it that much, but I judged myself so harshly for getting sick, and the real issue was not me, it's that I didn't get the support I needed to succeed!
I failed college also because of mental problems. My college said that they were only used to helping students with ADHD. Not people with other mental illnesses. They didn't know how to help me.(This was in the mid 1990's.)
I racked up $18k in student loan debt here in the states. Schizoaffective bipolar. Had to acknowledge the facts on the ground and leave school. I probably could have asked for help but I was undiagnosed at the time.
It breaks my heart that the professor didn’t understand. I have been bingeing your videos the past few days and you’ve actually inspired me to want to start making videos about my experience with anorexia. It’s something I never talk about but have learned so much from my time in therapy that I think can help other. Thank you!
I struggled loads at school before I received my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. I was withdrawing and playing up and acting strange and just kinda gradually stopped attending. Then I was sent to a pupil referral unit and pretty much did the same thing so I dropped out of all education. Now I am 22 with no GCSEs or A levels and still in hospital. I have started making videos talking about mental health and schizoaffective disorder and hope to make a short film about it when I am discharged
Your story resonates with me. I’m in the US and my bachelors program should have taken 4 years. It took me ten. It’s been difficult. I was on medication for bipolar disorder with psychosis after that and I eventually made my way to law school. Somehow I graduated in the top 10% of my class. After my dismal performance in undergrad, it was so nice! I’ve been working big as a lawyer since 2007. But recently I landed in the hospital. Three times within two and a half months. Plus a long outpatient program. I’ve more recently been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Bipolar type. My work/boss has been great. I’m back at work part time and they are working with me. My boss is helping me to find a job as a lawyer which is a little less stressful. I have my third interview next week. I wish you all the best Lauren. You aren’t alone! 🙂
This was very informative. I struggle with GAD, MDD and learning disability. Trying to get through university right now. So much of this resonates with me.
I got kicked out of high school when I was a junior bc I fell into psychosis and missed 15 days of school so they expelled me. I was a 4.0 GPA student with honors classes. 2 years later I went to community college ( my plan was med school since I was 4 years old) after acing the GED. So humiliating since I had such high dreams. It took me years to finish my general Ed classes but I finished with a 4.0. Somehow through many episodes and hospitalizations. But I never got to finish my bachelors. I’m 48 now and want to go back to school so bad but I’m afraid. Antipsychotics and benzos have really hurt my memory. And stress triggers symptoms. I’m afraid I will die never having a complete education. Med school is out, but I still want to go back to school. I’m so afraid though. I feel unfinished as a person.
How do you feel about online courses? There are many that are more flexible with deadlines, and if you only did one class a semester at least at first, it would be low stress.
Finishing your degree isn't as important as you becoming a life-long learner! You can always learn outside of school, and there are no restrictions
Education isnt the only valuable thing in life. Many of history's smartest people left school when they were 12. People have created business empires out of their garage. You can start a business, you can make things, you can serve others in charities, theres many options.
@@linearmemories I've been a life-long learner, I read every day and take online classes of all sorts (just not in a university). But I still really, really long to be back in school. I loved it, but didn't love the pressure and my perfectionism. It's about more than learning to me - its a life-long dream.
@@archaeopteris - I did really well with online courses in CC but at university they are harder to come by. And I don't want to go to an online college. I want a brick and mortar school that maybe offers some online classes. But some things you can't do online, like lab classes and most math classes. I did take only 1-2 classes at a time in CC and with kids (I managed to marry and have 2 great kids, now grown - recent college grad, and one college student) and I'm always jealous of them getting to go to my dream school and that dream will just never die, but I can't take many online classes at the university level. I should have gone during this year (plus!) of covid so I could take online classes!
I currently work for a wonderful small studio run by the kindest, most empathetic people. When my chronic depression spiraled downwards to where I was heavily suicidal, they let me go off client work and take easier work while I recuperated. They also said that if I need to go lay down, I could. While I greatly appreciate their understanding, I felt the same as Lauren and felt really guilty for getting special accommodations. But seeing your video made me feel better about my struggles; we are all different and we have different needs. I’m so grateful for my employer for recognizing that; the CEO told me that the studio treasures all forms of diversity, including neurodiversity. I’m so incredibly lucky, but ideally, all employers should be this way.
I'm in high school at the moment and this is the first time that I've seen someone describe what I'm going through, it's nice to know I'm not the only one in this situation.
This is very informative..... thanks for sharing your experiences...... I'm also suffering from social phobia and university life was not easy but through it all I'm thankful to God I was able to finish my medical school.
Do You have schizofrenia?
When I went to university I had an eating disorder and schizoaffective disorder and I failed most of my classes. At the time I was unaware I was mentally ill, I just thought I was "different" to other people. I had no comprehension of how ill I really was. 2 years later I was hospitalized for a psychotic episode and it wasn't until a few years later and lots of medication changes that I fully accepted I had a serious mental illness. I would like to go back to university now that I am relatively stable but there is no university in the town where I live and I don't like the idea of being so far away from my family and my support system.
I had Paranoid Schizophrenia and Psychotic symptoms and i made a mistake of not letting the tutors about this. This worked against me as people didn't support me enough. Tell your tutors as soon as you can and it will avoid pressures on both sides.
What can someone say and how can the tutors help besides with the subject? I'm in this situation
@@Brainjoy01 I had a student once that had depression. Stopped coming to class regularly, doing assignments etc. I worked with her to get the assignments done before the end of the semester.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 18 years old. I did went to college of graphic technology and design and I did struggle but I did finish it. I was told on the college that I shouldn’t study because I’m mentally ill, that it’s not a university for people like that. I was also sexually assaulted by one professor constantly and I even had my social worker to talk to secretary of the that university but they told me if I wanted to finish the college that I should keep my mouth shut. No one on that university was very understanding of me and my illness , I had to do everything by myself and support of my family. But I did it, I still finished that university, even sooner than most of my colleagues.
Thank you for this. I am doing a Masters in Natural Resources on line. Can't imagine trying to do in person. The school does offer accomodations but it is still sometimes brutal. The stigma is also very real. My teachers know I have a disability but not what. Telling someone you have psychosis can certainly affect career plans. On the plus side, the work itself is often very grounding. No matter what you end up choosing to do,Lauren, you have a large platform here where you are doing work that reaches thousands. You could kick it up to more political advocasy for public health without going back to school.
Lauren, I too struggled with a mental illness throughout university and ended up dropping out. It was my dream to become a n academic and I feel I would mhave made some valuable contributions. It was a lifelong disappointment to be unable to succeed because of emotional problems, and my professors, too, were unresponsive and oblivious. I feel that greater sensitivity to the needs of students with disabilities is essential, for there is no reason why we cannot succeed. and fulfill our potential. I am so glad you made this video; your work is very insightful and provides an important platform for public awareness and advocacy for all students with disabilities, including the visible and invisible. Thank you so much for your hard work and crucial contributions!
I do not have a diagnosis but I get stressed, overwhelmed and anxious very easily. However, I, too, find academics in public health lack of mental health understanding and empathy. It is shocking and disappointing since their work revolves a lot around health. I have finally changed to social work and I am really happy with my choice now. I feel like I can improve so much with supports from social work academics and colleagues. Thank you, Lauren, for sharing. Much appreciated.
I truly relate to your story. I am diagnosed w/ BipolarII, Lupus, Fragile X Syndrome ( #1 genetic cause of Autism Spectrum Disorder) and PTSD. All of “that” made learning difficult and I learned very differently. Learning how to be my own best advocate was the hardest yet most important thing I had to do as far as my college experience. I learned eventually that accommodation does not mean “extra” or “special privileges”. Accommodating a student is an attempt to level the playing field. I will never forget the time I marched myself into the Dean of students office and asked to set up an appointment to speak with him. For almost an hour I couldn’t get past the secretary; she wouldn’t take me seriously or listen. She simply kept repeating that I got extra time to finish tests, I could have my own room for testing and use a calculator. She asked me what exactly made me think I was entitled to more. 😳 That was when I remembered something my mom had done when she was advocating for my younger brother; he has FXS as well. This secretary wore glasses. I asked her, “you wear glasses correct? “ She said well yes obviously. I went on and said ok, so your glasses are an accommodation for your eyesight correct? Silence…… then finally she said yes. Then I took out my notebook filled with Western Humanities notes and turned to a page. I handed her the notebook and said “I’d like you to read the notes on this page; but you can not use your glasses. Instead, you can find a room to yourself, have extra time to read and you can use this calculator. When I say her face went RED! I then said how do you feel about my accommodations? Do you feel they are fair and appropriate? She didn’t answer any of that but she did go into the Dean’s office and came back out with a date and time for me to meet with the Dean. 😏 It really is an ableist system and there is no reason we should have to fight so damn hard.
Thank you SO much Lauren!! This is what I needed! 💚 You are a gem! 🤗
That was SO helpful Lauren! Thank you for walking through your experience and making the challenges and hopes clear in this context. TY! You're wonderful!
Thanks for sharing your story!!! I really appreciate the openness, vulnerability and honesty! You're a gem!!
Thank you so much for sharing this. Youre voice is so incredibly needed on this topic of academia being an ableist structure.
Thank you so much for making this video. Just to hear about other people’s struggles and experiences going through school with mental illness and to reaffirm that it’s ok, it’s really comforting and encouraging.
I feel you may have just helped a tremendous amount of people. Thank you for everything you do!
Sending love your way. I can see it took a lot of courage to share your story and it warms my heart to see you doing it. :)
thank you so much for sharing your difficult story. It is indeed so hard to function in a world that is entirely designed for fully abled people. Lots of love for you and your family!
I have so much respect for all of you whose stories I read, I watch this channel to understand (as much as someone who doesn't suffer from this disorder can), and hope many others do, because I learn so much.
i hope you'll do a video on BPD one day. I know that it's not related to the channel but it is related to mental health and so many people don't realise how much it effects one's life.
I love your videos, thank you for your efforts ❤
Me, too! What a nightmare it is!
You are such an honest voice for others. Thank you.
I'm so glad more and more people are coming forward and speaking about this issue and their difficulties.
I have a lot of issues around mental neurodevelopmental and illness so I had to drop out high school and even with a great passion in learning I Couldn't do it.
Well done, Lauren! Thank you for your vulnerability. I don't have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, but I do have other mental health diagnoses. Those diagnoses interrupted my schooling and relationships as well. I so enjoy your channel and am easily able to understand much of your perspective and apply what helps you to myself although my diagnoses are anxious and depressive ones, not psychotic one. I wish you lots of and lots of health, wellness, and happiness. This channel is wonderful and needs to continue, and I will continue to subscribe and watch. I will be becoming a Patreon supporter very soon and happily promote this channel. You and your partner Rob are wonderful and are making such a difference in this world. This channel matters and is desperately needed.
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear that at one time you felt guilty for having accommodations at college, although I can understand that, especially being a perfectionist. I believe that your story will help many people realize their possibilities and navigate higher education. You seem very intelligent and well-spoken. One day, if you decide to try, I’m sure you can finish your degree!
Even if I have a different diagnosis (BPD), everything you expressed was pin on point for me! I must say I am very happy someone is talking about this and it's encouraging me to do so. It is SO important to resinstate HOPE in others and make them know they (WE) are not alone.
Thank you 🙌
Thank you Lauren - and GOOD FOR YOU for accomplishing everything you have! The “social worker” in you is quite evident, as advocating for others seems easier for you than advocating for yourself. Your message hit home for me! 👍🙂
Thanks so much for speaking on this, Lauren. I also "fell out" of a Master's Degree at 25 (due to depression) and was hospitalized for psychosis at 34 and 39, which has impacted my work. I can see your high standards shining through in each of your videos and understand how difficult it is when our own processes impact the version of self we want to show the world. As someone who continues to struggle to advocate for myself, clams up when asked what my needs are, and experiences guilt when asking for accommodations, I would love to hear some examples of accommodations that people have received, ways of approaching discussions around needs, and thoughts on disclosure if you are willing to share. Thanks for reading :)
Ive recently discovered your channel and am looking forward to watching more vids. I work in a university environment in a first responder capacity so I am very empathetic to your story. This video is so helpful in that I deal with students at their most vulnerable moments. In addition, my sister is bipolar, schizoeffective and she recently shared that she was diagnosed as having psychosis. So you are helping me understand things on many levels. Thank you! I wish you the best!❤🙏🏽
Thank you so much for sharing the experience. I almost cry while watching the video.
I have been struggling with depression for more than 10 years. It took me much longer time than others to finish my undergraduate study. All I thought about was suicide at that time. I couldn't continue my study. I had to apply for interruptions and extensions again and again. It's a stigma if you use a longer time finishing your study. It implicates you are incapable, weak, dumb, lazy...or any negative label you can imagine. I still feel deeply ashamed and never mention this experience to anyone in real life.
My parents also felt very embarrassed and anxious. They used to be proud of me because I was one of the top students in high school. But in the university, I didn't do well anymore. My relationship with my parents was quite awkward during that time.
But, I'm grateful that my supervisor understood my situation. I said to him I'm a bad student. But he said, it's not bad, it's just you are different. He even told me I'm one of his best students. Even if it may be a white lie, I still appreciate his kindness very much.
Now I'm doing another degree, and unfortunately, the depression is back again. Even with medication, I can't control the dark thoughts. But, it's so good to know people who have similar experiences.
Do I really like doing this degree? Only partially. The most important thing is I have to do something "normal" to appease my parents. I keep telling them for years that I don't have a passion for anything. It's just I have to be "normal", like others.
Thank you for this video. My reflections on my different college experiences are often painful. It's taken me a decade to separate my identity and self worth from the huge sense of failure I experienced as a student with undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder and ADHD. This sense of failure followed me around and really impacted my belief in myself. Fortunately, I've discovered great support systems. What you talk about helps make my memories ache a bit less and I am certain this conversation will help other people. Thank you for putting this out there!
Hey Lauren, thank you for your paramount work! I am so happy I found your channel, as I suffer from depression and PTSD and I can relate with you so well. I also felt and feel shame and guilt and like I’m a cheater in life and don’t really deserve special treatment, but on the other hand I am very talented (the only positive thing I can say about myself) and I know I need all the help I need to succeed. Keep going. Thank you again very much!
An incredible story of courage and endurance in the face of grief and the indifference from others.
Non-neuro-typical (neuro-diverse) people and people with mental health challenges have so much to offer in the community after they can negotiate the ableist tertiary education system. Thank you. This channel is such a success.
You earned your degree! Huge accomplishment. You also have so much more knowledge and competence in regards to mental health and the health care system. All of your life experiences through life is what makes you a great, well rounded addition to any team/facility
Thank you for sharing. I dropped out of my masters in 2013 and have been wanting to go back ever since but have been worried about managing my diagnosis and school work.
I appreciate you talking about your experience of living with mental illness. I can relate so hard to your experience; setting extremely high standards for yourself, falling behind, being crushed by guilt and sense of inadequacy, feeling guilty about asking for accommodations, etc. You’ve helped me understand that my brain works differently, and that’s okay to need different things and methods of getting things done. I appreciate you so much.
That's for talking about this, I very much relate to the shame that comes with seeking accommodations, you're absolutely right, we are all different, and that's such an important point about the ableist system that is "education"! I have had so much shame about needing to leave school in 2012 (also during my master's) and I've not gone back to finish because my disabilities made it impossible at that time... I love the idea of exploring how education can be reimagined, I think it could be better for everyone in the long term if professors explored how to best engage the students with the subjects more frequently and that's awesome that you've had some positive experiences (still watching)... It's hard to know when and if to disclose mental illness. It's tricky. We relate with the high standards of self.
Thanks so much for sharing this, your videos are all wonderful!
Ps I've never been so happy to see an ad on a video hehe!
I have schizophrenia and I'm at the university of Buenos Aires and is so hard to me to get connected to the class. I really getting
All the best to you
Tú eres una chica muy inteligente y bonita. Tenga una buena noche.
How are you nOw...??
Thank you SO MUCH for this video, Lauren. You are absolutely incredible. I suffer from severe treatment-resistant depression, and it seems like every MH professional is telling me that my options in life are to find a magical cure or else I should just accept that my lifelong aspirations are out of reach. It is so inspiring to see someone who is not “neurotypical” but has pursued goals and is engaged in making the world a better place.
You’re clearly so brilliant. It must have been really frustrating to be in school but be unable to fully participate. Thank you for sharing.
I admire you very much and your partner, you push through your pain even though we can see how genuinely it's hard for you to talk about you really are a true hero for putting yourself out there, love from Palestine ❤️💜
I was diagnosed with a mental illness a semester before I was meant to transfer to a school that I loved, and had gotten into with a full ride, I struggled so much and failed classes. I didn't disclose to anyone out of embarrassment and not wanting to feel weak. School had always been a bit of an anchor and I didn't feel like I should have to ask for help. It ended up backfiring when my acceptance was pulled and I'm still really struggling with the emotions of it, looking back I wish I had disclosed, but I can't change that now. It did help me realise that I need to be more open to asking for help, and accepting it.
The pandemic slowed things down, but hopefully by next spring I can go back to school, and I want to work to keep in mind that it's okay to ask for help.
Thank you for sharing, it made me feel less alone, and something I didn't know I needed to hear.
This is really helpful. I guess I'd be considered able but I have anxiety that has.gone undiagnosed. I graduated from college but didn't really do anything with my degree. I worked seasonal jobs but decided that's not for me. Your job and education doesn't need to define you! You are doing a great job with this channel and whatever else you do. Don't feel bad.
I'm so glad for you that you completed your university studies. I returned to college as a non traditional student - earned my bachelor's degree & attended grad school for 2 years. I really enjoy your posts. & It helps to see somebody who has succeeded in so much. Your relationship with your partner seems very comfortable...& fun. I feel sure the 2 of you , like others, have some struggles. Thanks for your posts.
ditional
You are a rock star ⭐️
It took me 3 years just to get my 2 year associates in social work. Thank you for sharing your story and making me feel better that I’m not alone ❤️
I'm dealing with this right now. Trying to figure out what to do about school vs my mental well-being. Thank you for making this video
Wonderful video! The content is so informative and helpful. My experience with my BS undergraduate work was that the University of Wisconsin Madison was not very supportive unfortunately of my mental health diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. However, I went to Starr King in Berkeley, California for my Masters in Divinity to become a spiritual counselor and they were beyond accommodating. They let me take a whole year off and most of the professors seemed very understanding of my quietness in class or other noticeable differences I had from neurotypical peers.
Thank you so much for this! This is so important to talk about!
Took me 6 years for my associates. 2 additional for my bachelors and got my masters a year after that at 28 years old mostly due to social anxiety and heath issues. Glad I did that regardless.
This carries an, overall, encouraging message. My default method of dealing with anyone is to hide my mental health problems. The idea that being up front and informing people prior to any involvement may actually have a positive outcome has only recently been a possibility I can realistically consider.
Thank you.
I am so glad you shared your experience. As a mom of an 18-year-old who has a lot of the symptoms you have, I can take the ball from here and see what support there is for her. If possible, create a video on how you would raise your child if they experience the same disorder. My specific interest is senior high school and the entry to college, what would be a successful career or career that you think can be good for a schizoaffective person.
Listening to your story really helps me come to terms with mine. I have a wide array of mental illnesses and physical disabilities and have found college to be "lacking", to put it lightly, in the area of accessibility, and lecturers, who literally work in the field, to be less than accommodating. I started my journey in third level education in 2014 and am only now finishing up my 2nd semester of the 1st year of my bachelor's degree. I've really tried to focus on creating support systems outside of my college to try and make up for the fact that there's so little in college... I've also just been lucky to finally find meds that keep me relatively stable and a great therapist and loving partner. All this to say that the system at it stands now is inaccessible and honestly not enough is being done to change that. I feel mad and upset about it regularly.
Ditto! Accessibility is a right, and I hope that right is more accessible in the future!
I was diagnosed with major depression 6 months before leaving for university. I was not on meds, I was not prepared, I was in a new city with no therapist and no family or friends. And the university system just broke my soul so many times. But I couldn't leave, I felt like I was just not good enough but that I didn't have any other option but to suffer through the loneliness and being badmouthed by some of the profs who thought I was just lazy or selfish or stupid. Thank you for talking about your experience, and I look forward to discussing these issues in higher ed more!
Thank you so much for posting this. I sometimes don't agree with you and hate on you -- but this video is literally one of your best. Thank you so much.
I don't have a mental illness -- but I do have idiopathic hypersomnia, with almost derailed my undergraduate schooling. When I was sleeping for over 20 hours at a stretch, doctors either didn't believe me or brushed off my presentation as "just depression". My professors looked at me as if I had three heads when I tried to explain what was going on. Thankfully, my advisor believed me and saved my academic career.
Speaking of Covid -- I'm actually happy that this weird symptom of post-viral fatigue is receiving adequate coverage. What I experience sounds similar to what people with "long-haul" Covid have shared. I'm sure that getting sick with some viruses has nasty after-effects for a certain unlucky percentage of the population. Back in college, there was always some nasty respiratory bug that was floating around in the dorms -- which was almost unavoidable, no matter how meticulous one was about washing hands!
Wow, a 1 year bachelor programme, that must have been pretty intense, so well done you for getting through it. My BA was a 4 year course, full time, and that was incredibly intense.
It's impressive how you could study that amount of years, I really admire your strenght and resilience. Thank you so much for sharing this, greetings from Argentina
This was an extremely comforting video. Thank your so much
Thankyou for this, my daughter is struggling just to get to school and has decided she wants to homeschool with myself and her family around her. I think this explains some of her challenges she has been facing each day and why she has decided against attending school and opted for home instead.
I feel you so much. I don't have schizophrenia, but struggled with stress induced psychosis, depression, social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder and narcolepsy (which I didn't know I had until my late twenties) in addition to just being extremely shy and socially awkward. I always did well in school until my mental health began to decline and my grades suffered. I had a really hard time just getting out of bed in the morning, and it didn't help that I dreaded every part of school, though I do enjoy learning (school just wasn't the place for it). My mind didn't work, couldn't concentrate and regularly fell asleep in class, but I was told I was lazy, so that's what I believed, though I now know it was due to narcolepsy. School caused me so much stress, which in turn worsened my mental health, triggered psychotic symptoms. Failing when you really are doing your best is painful. I needed a decade to be able to complete 3 years of high school. I know how hard it can be, and you should be so proud of yourself that you got your degree. It's sad that you have to defend your diagnosis/illness just to get accommodations, which should be given whenever someone is struggling with their school work, regardless of what's causing the struggles. The issue of today's education is that it is demanding instead of inspiring learning.
This was a sharp honest open rebuke of the tertiary ed systems and how the Affect everyday people with everyday flexible needs and changes. I’m proud and happy to hear your story and successes with you social work degree too. Awesome video :)
❤you are so so inspirational . Thank you for posting on RUclips !
And my heart goes out to you when you talk about how you compared yourself to the neurotypical peers cause I’ve seen a loved one in a similar situation , and you deserve all the support and love you can get❤
Wow, thank you for this. I was an undergrad in 2014 too. In my postgrad teaching year I became suicidal beyond the point I could cope and decided to take a medical leave too. When I tried to come back there was no support in place because I didn't technically fail. I failed the placement after that and even though I have 1 chance left I feel sick at the idea. I'm doing better now and working instead. Hope my story helps you feel a bit less alone
Hi Lauren, I also have schizoaffective disorder and c-PTSD, & DID, and more diagnoses. I also have a severe case of NVLD. I was born with these conditions and developed my schizoaffective at 9 years old and have had 3 psychotic breakdowns all before I was 22. I've even been studied and am in psychological books and psychological students wrote their thesis about my studies me how my severe mental health conditions were unheard of back in my youth. I am also a highly intelligent man. While I excelled in school in the USA at 14 I won numerous of the most famous awards and very rarely earned or won extremely coveted full-ride scholarships. Despite my severe mental health issues, my GPA was the highest in the USA for all of my high school years. At 15 I got into every ivy league college and even was excepted to MIT & oxford. However, in a small town where my family moved while I was in middle school, I had a severe hate crime committed against me by a group of neo nazis when I was 15, where I nearly died and had my nose shattered and part of my face collapsed in. As well as a major TBI that caused my brain to hemorrhage and break blood vessels and broke my neural pathways, broke my peripheral loan severe damage. Still, I wasn't able to continue on in high school because of the ableist and uncaring school I went to. Then of another sibling's stupidity and the abuse I suffered from him, I was abandoned by my family only 12 days after that event. I went to a college in Iowa while I was still recovering from all the pain. And trauma and abandonment I earned 3 master's degrees in only 2 years! And got my bachelor's in psychology studies also in 3 years. I graduated from college suma cume laude in only 3 years to earn 4 degrees in a very short time. I have been up against the Scholastic systems in the USA that didn't help me in high school at all. And never viewed my mental illness as something to be ashamed of. I even joke about it and openly discuss it with people I know or who hear I'm outspoken about my mental health issues. I don't see it as shameful or as something to hide. I don't advertise it. But I'm not ashamed or afraid of it or the stereotypes. Despite all of it and my NVLD and the TBI I suffered at 15 from a group of racist neo nazis high schoolers while a teenager and the psychotic breaks I persevere and am a gifted artist and writer. I had huge opportunities in both and an art job offer for a $300,000 starting salary, but no mental health coverage. I'm on a lot of meds and have the most severe mental health issues that no Dr or researcher has ever seen. I've been studied by drs and students of psychology and been studied bcz my IQ is above 260. I'm happy to know I succeeded so much despite the mental illness I have. Now after my 3rd break I couldn't function well anymore. I live on my own and have everything I need and always pay my bills and rent. I've done much and encourage all people to know that nothing can stop you if you dare to pursue it!!
You are great at presenting.
Amazing video! Thank you for this insightful content!
I tried to go to school. Like you it started in High school and continued through my 20's and 30's. I finally had to give up my goal of a degree. You did great!
Currently struggling to get back into PhD after time off for mental illness.
I have a similar story with college and I kept coming back but was unable to complete a degree - I only want to say thank you and
I love you.
Thanks for sharing your struggles, it will help a lot of people.
I feel you. I developed a chronic illness that affects my hands/arms in the middle of my bachelor's and thus realized how inaccessible assignments are. It affects my ability to type, hand write, do research, and just live my daily life. I also have experienced what it's like to not disclose your disability until mid-semester and I had a professor who was not very empathetic when I needed an extension. It feels like a personal failing when I can't keep up and I often feel I should just bear the pain and push myself through it though I know that's not good for my health. It's really discouraging when you ask for help and understanding and you're met with condescension. It makes me question whether or not I want to finish my degree even though I'm only about 5 classes away now. The system is so ableist and accessibility services are often so limited.
Hi Lauren, hope your going well 🙂 just want to say I can totally relate to this Video. Psychosis has really affected my learning Journey too. I have a bachelor of social science and looking into get into a master of ethics or public health. I am glad to hear I am not the only one. I also have unrealistic high expectations of myself and sometimes need to learn to relax and take care of well-being. I agree that there is not enough support financially and emotionally. I feel like a having schizophrenia can sometimes be draining in Itself. You are definitely making a difference and encouraging all of us! I just wish there was a cure for Schizophrenia already! Take care and God bless 💕👍
Your courage, honesty and integrity continues to astound. Lots of college instructors, mental health workers and university profs are watching Lauren. Great work!!
:)deNISE
Social Service Worker Program
Durham College
This is topic I recently becoming very interested in, in both academic and personal capacity. I think you do good job articulating it and I value hearing about your experience a lot.
I am curious for more recommended reading on topic.
Hello, I am glad I found your video. I’m sort of dealing with the same situation. I have my Bachelors degree in psychology with a concentration in mental health. I have been working on a master’s degree in forensic psychology. Recently, I’ve been struggling with physical and mental health issues and had to drop my psychology class. I have a lot of the same ideas about being a perfectionist. I really don’t know what to do from here. However, your video gives me a lot of hope.
Thanks for sharing this. I dropped out of university but succeeded at a college and life long career. You will succeed.
As someone with a visual impairment, I thank you for talking about people needing accommodations. The accommodations I receive don’t change the work I do, but rather allow me to complete the exact same work everyone else is already doing. Self-advocacy is key.
Dziękujemy.
Thank you so much for this video. During my senior year in secondary education I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder I also have a terminal illness and I was recently diagnosed with Becker's muscular dystrophy about a year ago in my first year of University. It is true what they say. Hopefully as long as my terminal illness and my BMD doesn't progress very fast I can go into social work for those with life-threatening or terminal illnesses. It is true what you say because unfortunately this education system is Biltmore for able-bodied people and some of my teachers and secondary education and some of my professors would give me grief and would not understand that I needed accommodations because with Becker's muscular dystrophy some days it is very painful for me to move and walk and some days I just had to stay in my dorm and when I would have the strength to get in my wheelchair they would give me a hard time about being late but thank God I had good people advocating for me and I was able to get the class work sent to my dorm and a recording of the lectures if I was in too much pain to move or if my terminal illness was giving me a hard time that day. They were pretty understanding when it came to my schizoaffective disorder but it was mainly due to my physical health problems but I was getting so much grief.
Thank you so much for this video!
I agree with this. I had my first psychotic break in college. Nobody had any idea what was going on at the time. But what did not help and could have? Among many things one is the fact that the services disability services at any given school is capable of providing, are generalized rather than individualized. That and the sheer amount of homework one might end up doing depending on their chosen school. This despite the fact that studies show there is no or little benefit from more homework.
You can succeed in college/post secondary, but as it stands now, that will be much much harder for you than the average person.
Thank you very much for sharing your story. This video really spoke to me. I feel like I am going to very similar struggles.
I've always wanted to have a career in academia. I'm 25 and living with Borderline personality disorder and various other mental illnesses. I've dropped out of university once already and had to take a medical leave from my current programme. I cannot help but feel like a failure. I went from a child genius to a burnt out suicidal high school senior to a barely functional adult. I know I should be proud of myself for not giving up on my dream despite all the hurdles that have come in my way. But still, why am I so hard on myself for not meeting my unattainable standards I've set for myself in a system that even my neurotypical friends are struggling in?