If "9 to 5 Jobs" Were Honest
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2022
- An honest rundown of the greatest jobs on the planet😳
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never thought that the suffering of every adult could be this funny yet depressing at the same time.
It’s so depressing it has to be humorous 😂
@@landokalriz Rather laugh about it then cry about it
@Frank slimt the hell is bitcoin mining
Just remember it was much....much worse like not even 100 years ago.
it was not funny it hit too close to home and only way out is literally not living
this guy is not only a comedian but also speaks straight fax
😂thanks bro
tax?
Oh shit the IRS found me. At least its no the IRA. Wait no… you’re worse.
He do DARK COMEDY
@@tfcshortsnon-official7283 yes
You missed the part where they make you endure 3 years of university and practically beg everyone to give you a chance until you're grateful to meet one particular asshole who's smart enough to recognize he can hire you for less money than you're worth to do more work because he knows you don't have other options.
"I am in this and i don't like it."
Only three? College in the US is at least four years, and many office jobs also require a master's degree.
@@mirzaahmed6589 Plus they'll require you to have X amount of years of experience in order to get the entry level jobs. In other words, require you to already somehow have experience in order to get the job needed to get experience.
Meanwhile the lawn maintenance contractor is making more than the administrators. Only the very top executives and owners get all the money.
Or they tell you they promote within, but the first thing they do is hire somebody else that isn't even qualified.
I like how he says "9-to-5" and not "9-to-6" as if the company gave you a free lunch break.
On some jurisdictions you should get 30 minutes lunch time and the company has to pay for those 30 minutes. Check your local labor laws. But don't do it on HR (they work for the company, not for the employees).
I don't work 9 to 5
You forgot commute time.
When I worked a so-called 9-5, it was, in reality, a 9-9
In LATAM our laws for office jobs force us to go 8-5 or 9-6, so your deal doesn't sound that bad to us lol
I'll never get over how people try to make us out to be the unreasonable ones for not wanting this.
It's not how we're meant to live.
It's because those people are scared, insecure and more often than not, not really enlightened
It’s because those are the people at the top benefiting from this perverse system.
The problem is that this has become the norm throughout the American job market, really. It's not just office jobs. We're all getting fucked; blue collar and white collar alike. My buddy paid tens of thousands to go to welding school and then couldn't find a welding job afterward. He then learned to drive a forklift and ended up getting hired by a logistics company that only pays him $21 an hour for a specialized position. They make it damn near impossible for him to use his vacation days. They threaten to fire people who want to take shelter when the tornado sirens go off, and they hit him with a point when he took off from his shift to pick up his sick daughter from school. The company he works for raked in $7.7 billion in revenue last fiscal year.
Oh whatever. For millennia, people toiled in fields for barely enough food and in many countries today, people still perform back breaking labor for over 80 hours. You are ungrateful fools with no space for context.
People DIED for the right to work this little. Get over yourselves
“I thought we were suppose to make ourselves money”
“I did too” 💀
As a person who works a 9-5 I feel this
Condolences
I share your suffering
As a person who works 8-5 6 days a week, it hits too close to home.
@Frank slimt invest
@Frank slimt No just no
His pen-throwing technique is getting better by the day.
Years of training my friend
i now just imagine him at an axe throwing place throwing pens with everyone staring at him while he keeps throwing pens and only gets bullseyes
@@novavoid2703 he gets mugged then whips out 2 pens and double throws them through his eyes and out the back of his skull then says: (“insert epic line/pen related joke here”) and walks off.
This pretty much explains why I hate working and why I'm hiding in the bathroom.
Do you worship satan while you're in there?
@@ericpratt984 sometimes but not always
@@dragoon1090 ._.
The bathroom is your saving grace at work.
"Wow, that's a really good point" this man has mastered office responses to everything lol
😂perfectly fake, as it should be
"That's a really good point" ...Continues exactly as they were going to anyway.
People working at one company for 30 years feels so crazy to me because I'm not even 20 yet, I can't imagine spending half my lifetime working for the same company while being treated like a piece of meat
That was the way older generations used to do it. They'd start working at a job in their 20s or 30s, and didn't leave until they retired. The younger generations aren't doing this. There's nothing necessarily right or wrong with either approach.
ongg like bro like imagine starting a job in the 1990's and retiring the same job somewhere around 2020, you entered and left the job in two completely different worlds, that's a LONG time to be working the same job lol
i waana be a piece of meat haha
It helps if you see your job as just a funding mechanism for your life and not a source of fulfillment, enjoyment or hope. That's worked for me for the past 25 years.
I can't imagine it either!! sometimes I think some people I see really are npcs :O
I literally sacrificed my youth for a dead end job started doing logistics for a company when I was 19 and just recently decided to quit probably the best decision I have ever made
Where do you work now?
@@floorfloorfloor722 I decided to go to something I had a interest in so a friend of mine helped me get a job in the technology department for a school district
@@natanaelconcha92 Source of inspiration, did you attend university for that though?
Imagine knowing somewhere that set your life for good once you quit
Everyone has chapters in their book of life. That chapter of “sacrifice my youth” is what makes you much more laser focused in the new chapter you’re in. Have no regrets, appreciate that you learned a priceless lesson as most won’t have that realization you had until even more later in their life
This makes me grateful to push carts at Walmart. I hate it, but at least I'm outside, I get exercise, and I can listen to audiobooks as I work.
The fuck? I do the same thing you do, and work for the same company you do. I never get to listen to audiobooks, or anything. Also, being outside sucks ass man, idk why you think that's a positive. The intense sun and heat are good in moderation, terrible when you're doing it for more than two hours, let alone a seven/eight hour shift.
God, it's worse when it starts raining, because you don't stop when it does, you gotta keep going.
As soon as you put a raincoat on, the rain stops and all you're left with is heat.
The exercise is good, though, even if it hurts at the end of the day.
Don't get me started on poor management, and short-handedness. Being the only cart attendant working for a significant part of your shift at a supercenter is terrible.
Your job sucks man. I've had to do it for 6 months, I'm already sick of it, and want to do something else.
@@Orange_Swirl I've done this job for 16 months. It sucks. So do most entry level jobs. The rain sucks butthole too. But it's currently winter, and as long as you have a ton of layers on, two pairs of gloves and some hand warmers the cold isn't that bad. It does suck being the only guy on the lot half the time. Work fast, but never as fast as you possible can. They'll squeeze every last drop out of you that they can, but once they see that even you have limits they'll send someone else outside on the side of the lot that's usually not as busy, OR they'll just have to put up with one side being out of carts half the time. As long as they see you're working hard and methodically they won't fire you for being unable to do the impossible. I'm sure you have at least one lazy piece of shit coworker who isn't working half the time and does a shit job yet somehow hasn't gotten fired for the months or years he's been there. As long as you work hard and watch your mouth they won't fire their best worker. Don't break yourself trying to push 20 at once by hand. And I don't know about your store, but I've been listening to audiobooks in one ear for months and they haven't bothered me yet. So do many of the stockers I see inside (and one other cart pusher). Just take it out when they call you inside to do shit that has nothing to do with your job title.
@@nickanthropocene6502 Don't forget your salary is significantly lower, though.
.....and it's a great way to stay in shape.
@@Orange_Swirl ....and it's a great way to stay in shape
I can’t believe that he is able to show no emotion or anything like that. Also this dude is just seriously underrated.
Thanks offbrand🙏🏼🙏🏼
Granted he's talking about 9-5's, where you must be dead inside, so, it's accurate.
“Can I call you Mike?”
“No”
*calls him Mike anyways*
That's the joke that got me lmao
This isn't just humor, this is straight facts. Any idiot that says otherwise is delusional, or hugely rich and works these jobs out of boredom.
Or just, you know, does something they enjoy for work. Typically for not much pay, but at least they don't hate their existence.
"A nine to five is what we call a job where you work from eight to five."
I don't like my job,I don't like working for other people, I want to be my own boss. so I stay there and endure because it's motivation for me to get my ish together so I never ever ever have to seek approval to take a vacation again.
I just looked up MARCIA ANN BICE online and researched her accreditation.
She seem very proficient, I wrote her detailing my Fin-market goals and scheduled an appointment
I am 90% sure most of the comments here are bots.
@Dorian Jacobs You don't need a professional. Just put some in a total market fund for growth and some in bonds for security, and then just hold until you really need the money.
@Elizabethadams712don’t u have to put lots of work into side gigs tho, like more than an hour a day
@Elizabethadams712 ah okay
-What's your name?
-Michael
-Can I call you Mike?
-No
*-Ok Mike...*
_Literally my teachers are like this_
Teachers and Starbucks baristas
@@landokalriz lmao true
LOL
Yup, this is basically our reality in a nutshell when it comes to the workplace
Yeah. But it's not that bad. I work night shifts. Prefect so I can get drunk after work and pass out without having to worry about waking up early. It's a good life
@@theonlineanimal6009 oh yeah absolutely
@@theonlineanimal6009 what job?
@@theonlineanimal6009 I also do night shifts, quite awesome
@Minimalist Vlogger I clean rental cars at the Airport.
loving the long form content
Thanks man❤
This is considered long form?
@@jackxson6109 yea? Have a look at his other videos
@@Unown134 Yeah I saw he mostly does shorts which last under a minute, but 3 minutes really isn’t long at all. I consider long form content to be 10+ minutes
@@jackxson6109 bit late but personally long form content is 20+ minutes for me.
Jobs with flexible schedules really means you have to be flexible and those days off they will call you in and make you feel guilty for not coming in since they're short staffed. They also don't pay enough to live on so be prepared to live in your parents house for the rest of your life.
That's why I enlisted 14 years ago. To escape the poor paying office job. Now I have a well paying one. Bad eyes.
Just do that quiet quit thing. You get paid to work from this time to this time on these doing x not on that time and that time on those days doing y and z. Just politely tell them to get bent and cite your contract stating when you work and what you work and make it clear you will not be doing anything outside of that
Not if you work for the government
In Lando's world, anything that's considered bad to us is actually a good thing, which is the ultimate weapon to depression. Being happy about bad things
thank you now i can see discrimination in a new light
Indeed
Ignorance that’s called ignorance
@@landokalriz you're name's very close to Lando Kalrizian from Star Wars unless that was the point
@@ADodoBird looool
There is something about Lando's face that keeps me hooked on the video.
😂probably cause I look like I’m out of my mind, which I am
Yes
Isn't he Handsome?
@@Projektor912 He is, very much so
How can one person be this funny
😂don’t lie
Cracked me up but, honestly, I’d take a 9-5 to guarantee my evenings, nights, and weekends belong to me. Everyone works for someone else and employers will almost always try to take advantage if there aren’t clear parameters around your time/days.
Facts
Even if you start your own business, you're working for your customers, since your money will depend on the customers. The hard part is finding a job and company that is worth staying out with. Its hard not to job hop because so many companies are trash to work for.
@@avaliausd. At least with your own business. You can make decisions to change things. And the customers are not usually the problem, the problem is usually the ridiculous amount of overregulation and paperwork that no one in government would read, except when they want to screw you.
I learned that the hard way. I only take a job that works with my availability. I put open availability to a crappy job that didn't pay me enough or give me a schedule where I could work a second job. Thank God for ride-sharing and delivery service apps that you can set the schedule so employers like that can't keep you down.
I wish it was 9 to 5. Where I live, it's actually 8 to 5. I need that extra hour for sleep.
This man’s brutal honesty is still unchallenged 😂
“Not too much though, so if you quit you can’t live
I love the fact that in most of his videos he has to throw pens at people. When he does not throw pens in one video, he has to make up for it in another. It hilarious. 🤣
😂I owe it to the people
This guy is pretty much giving us the perfect example of ‘The world if emotion never existed’ He has no emotion for his vids which is perfect
😂it’s how it has to be
I love working 9-5. Way better than the 4am to 7pm when I was in the Army.
All about perspective:)
Holy fuck thats a 15hrs shift
@@ChillExpressions5 am to 11 pm in Basic
Facts. Actually 5:30am - UNTIL
@@seanstravelsandvlogs6233basic is temporary
This is why I'm study mechatronics as my mid life crisis, so I can be the one that makes the robots that destroy livelihoods and still not make 30% of my own products worth
I have never cried of laughter and cried of sadness at the same time
"Put marriage on hold, then." Exactly.
I definitely feel the pain and it is agonizing. These companies literally suck the soul out of you, reducing to a near lifeless husk.
An 8-5 is fantastic if you have your own office with a mini-bar.
😂now you’re livin 👌🏻
That’s a tax write off with fireworks on the side.
So real, yet so funny lol.
"This is Terry, he worked fast and died a v i r g i n."
This video needs A LOT more attention. 80% or higher whose ever had a job can relate to this.
I felt the same way until I made a commitment to keep my work and personal lives completely separate from one another. If anyone asks me how work was, I always answer “it was work”. It doesn’t matter if I had a good or bad day. I don’t discuss it. And I don’t discuss my personal life at work. But most importantly, I’m not there to make friends, so I will NEVER socialize with coworkers outside of work. If more people followed that those people wouldn’t feel like work is consuming them
@@nicholasselke5214 Gotta say I respect your move. For some, the two can bleed into each other since you can see your co-workers more than you do your family. It can be a place where people can help or hurt you. The bad thing is, if it does become a toxic place, there can be no escape from it. At least you can move homes but you gotta go back to the same place everyday for work unless you transfer and that isn’t always easy.
I’m personally not trying to mend the two but with potential health complications going with my Mom, it’s inevitable that I will be a different person at work and I feel I’ll have no choice but to say why. That’s just me.
@@nicholasselke5214i just started my first 9-5 out of college and ive been trying to make an effort of doing this. sometimes i catch myself thinking about a work related issue or cracking open my laptop to look at something on the weekend and then i try to stop that as soon as i recognize it happening
It sounds like you say longer sentences all in one breath and i love it 😭 intensifies the painful honesty
It can be quite challenging sometimes😂
@@landokalriz understandably so haha
I am go glad these videos are getting increasingly more popular. Not even lying when I say this, but your shorts have made me laugh at literally every joke. Good job!!
😅thank you bro🙏🏼
This almost made me cry.
❤ hug to you
“Oh these are called pieces of sh*t- I mean co-workers.” that line got me dead 💀
Your deadpan humor is on point 💯
You make full videos!?
Dang, you beat me
You know it, wish I could do more but I’m working on it🙏🏼
@@landokalriz well keep up the good work 🤝
Something about the short but long pause between each sentence kills me 😂😂
gotta keep it suspenseful😏
More power! More amazing and funny contents!
i would love to see more of this kinda content
But tbh, there isn't anything better than to be able to go home at around the same time every day and then not have to worry about the job, and also not having to work weekends.
Of course not every 9-5 job will be like that despite being called that but I really appreciate it if it is like that.
I have a job like that, and I totally agree with you. Literally any job can be good or bad depending on your co-workers and the culture there.
Feels like the people that dunk on 9-5 jobs never considered the notion that a job doesn't have to fulfill you - that's what hobbies are for.
For me, needing to be fulfilled in everything you do reeks of suffering from an excessive amount of privilege.
@@Thuazabi the problem is you don't always have time for hobbies.
@@Thuazabi Also, working a 9-5 drains all the motivation out of my personal life. I don't hate my work, but I'm tired everyday, and just wanna sleep. Work insidiously creeps into my brain and distracts me from actually doing hobbies.
@@wanderingrandomeractually 9-5 isnt that bad if you know how to manage your time
im living in 3rd world country and i have friends like working at least 10 hours a day 6 days at week but still they are spending time to their hobbies etc etc.
Depends what you do yes, I did some shite jobs, so for a few years 9to 5 was happy days because after 5 you were free to do whatever , but yes 9 to 5 still gets tedious eventually almost no matter what they pay, it also depends how micromanaged the job is
Dude your content has seriously improved I hope it keeps on growing and going.
how RU this funny
Oh my god, Lando, you're perilously close to being fantastically creative and BRILLIANT!! ⚡
😂I’ll take it! Thank you🙌🏼
As a person who choose to start my own business to avoid this, I remember what it was like in those days and got PTSD immediately.
Is it normal that this sketch speaks to me so much that I wasn't even laughing?
Hilarious!!! His timing and delivery are great! You are a comedian too!
This is soul crushingly accurate.. 😂🤣😮💨
The sarcasm is amazing
Absolutely fantastic
I like how he used Dunder Mifflin in the background. Since I’m studying finance for a bachelors degree, I now watch the office during every fall semester. The show is fun to watch and it kind of fits with my school work. So as a business student, when I’m watching the office I’m basically studying.
I quit 9 to 5 and decided that I will rather die than return to it
Damn
This whole video feels like an oddly hilarious dream
I've been trying to digest thus video for the last 10 minutes but the high concentration of truth is making it extremely difficult for me to do that 😂😂😂
loving the content keep it up brother
Thank you bro🙏🏼🙏🏼
I wanna throw pens at myself now...strange thing you have done to me.
KEEP IT UP!
I love the pen bit
This is true.... The more ambition I show one of my colleagues the more he looks back and says to act before it is too late. It's scary to think when he was younger he was equally if not more ambitious than be. The difference is I have been here for 3 years and only gain more ambition from the prospect of scaling. I am leaving the company now and have never felt more ambition.
“ and the whole growth thing i’m not familiar with it” had me dying 🤣
I'm trying to feel less depressed, not more depressed
Great video. Now I can imagine Lando doing a skit with Ryan George
This video is absolute GOLD
Thank you man🙏🏼🙏🏼
Nice vid keep up the work
Love ❤️ his Brutal Honesty!!! 😂🤣👍
working in a factory feels like the exact same as this video
9-5? I’d love that honestly. The standard nowadays is 8-5 because now we have an hour lunch break (even though we did when 9-5 was the standard…)
I love your videos they’re hilarious!
I love this guy he has the best sarcasm
I love u bro funny asf
Thank you🙏🏼🙏🏼
You’ve made my morning so much better 😂
Underrated af!!!!
"Don't be me" lmao
This is my life now too relatable
I love the shorts x video Collab you did, such a nice concept
Thank you🙏🏼I’m trying to push long fort content a lottt more in the future
Gotta respect a man that will throw pens at his own face just to make a point. Love it!
Mate how do you come up with such facts!! 😂😂
this guy has so much pens
Never a shortage😂
@@landokalriz u gotta start your own pen company at some point
I had a 9 to 5. I liked it. Natural lighting really makes all the difference.
I searched my entire 2000 long subscriber list for you lol I needed a good laugh
This summed up all of my adult life and I'm at a loss right now. Damn. This IS me.
Office worker: If all I do is type on a computer all day, can I really not just do this at home?
Boss: Oh certainly! But I paid for a building, and I’ll be damned if I don’t force you to use it!
At our job, the Managers get issued work laptops so they're slaves to to company even at home. "You thought you had a Home Life? Bless your heart!"
“Oh and those pens are from all the coworkers I stol- I mean borrowed from and never gave back.”
man needs more views seriously
This is one of those things that makes me ask how life is even worth living. And nobody has ever been able to answer that question
Life isn't worth living. But the people at the top count on your very natural fear of death to keep you coming to work to make them money.
When life looks like this then it really seems not to be. I think it is true that we all need to follow our own goals in life.
If you want freedom and happiness then it is possible. It's just discovering how to get that which is the hard part.
Like, I absolutely love technology and software development. The issue is with how I turn that into a marketable skill. The most straightforward way to do it is complete college, get relevant experience, and sell my soul to a company. It's like that because HR requires obscene qualifications for a job that could be done by a monkey with a hammer.
That’s why I’m not having kids. It’s not a nice thing to do.
well, you need to get out of these situations. Relationships are key
Work of art. I love your vids
That ending really got me xD
Classic pen throwing
This should have been in my recommendations a long time ago 💯
this is hilarious, thanks for this video man
Finally the pen throw 😂
This hits in the feels so hard
Thanks, this made me laugh
Absolutely hilarious 😂
Thank youu🙌🏼
@@landokalriz My man, of course