Why Gen Z Girls Are So Terrified Of Dating Men
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- Опубликовано: 20 апр 2024
- Chris and Freya India discuss why Gen Z women are afraid of dating. Why are Gen Z women so fragile in the dating market according to Freya India? Why does Freya India think women are so risk-averse? What solutions does Freya India have for Gen Z women who are afraid of dating?
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Why post a segment of something you've already posted? It just makes me want to unsub so I don't get junk filling my sub feed.
I don’t think being risk averse in dating is going to pay off in the long run. Women are already highly geared genetically to be selective and skeptical of Men. Her saying be risk averse is a bit backwards, when actually being aware of what you want out of a person and what a mentally healthy man looks like. The same women are self assured that only the most rich are worth attention will tell people to basically ignore all a women’s instincts towards romance. As if Romance isn’t one of the most primal needs of a woman, basically the female version of action and adventure. And I am just looking solely at narrative consumption. Women are by far the largest consumers of romantic material, just like men they can either find it on the couch or find it in life and their is no doubt that on either it is seen as sad when people opt out of life for a simulation. It is on its face less healthy to stay inside and hide.
I am legitimately shocked that not a single conversation I have seen on the topic talks about the mutual fulfillment of living a good love story. The psychological value, the basic vivacity of two people falling in love seems to be wholly absent when it has to be the heart of the personal narrative. Otherwise your speaking solely from a mechanical perspective of what needs can we fill for eachother. Romance and the pleasure of loving someone is the central pillar of why even do it and if you remove it, then everything gets reduced down sex and money. That’s honestly why both sides have both become so toxic. Because cynicism and a lack of introspection has people completely seperated from the good faith of assuming mutual love is even possible or worth pursuing. That’s why both side sound like they are buying a car because romance and mutual love which are the non mature aspects of a relationship have been redacted from the conversation by both parties willingly but definitely not wisely.
Right 😂. They're "terrified" of dating men because Only Fans is less "work"
Ty for the hint. You are one of the few most interesting YTers for me and I feared that you may have moved the interviews behind a paywall and left only summaries on YT. I stopped watching your channel bc of that, but now I'm back. So glad the full interviews are still here. You do great down to earth content!
@@Lmwpitt 🤦♂
The problem as a man is that you have to compete against a woman's social media. I finally am in a healthy relationship. She has no social media.
Hope she doesn't find out about your you tube addiction! Ha!
Women get stuck on the highest setting. Sleep with a 9, that's what I deserve. Date someone with 9 humour. Everyone must now be just as funny
Dude, your comment is so underrated.👏🏾😎
Good for you! 👍
Yup, and you also have to compete with her career. If she gets a promotion then you better get one too.
Tik tok and tinder ruined modern day dating
Also, people's lack of self-discipline and discernment ❤
Social media in general
Feminism ruined dating. Social media supercharged it.
I disagree. Sexual liberation and feminism ruined dating. TikTok and Tinder amplified what was already there.
Definitely not, it helps people learn more about what's toxic.
lmao great chemistry is a red flag.
Holy shit.
It's so dumb it's actually funny
@kd12345 lmao 💀💀💀
Great chemistry can’t be fabricated. Fucking insane.
@kd12345 that certainly exists, but it takes good discernment and sharp observation to tell the difference. People can't completely hide their bad intentions if you know when red flags to look for. At the same time, don't automatically assume ill intent without without evidence for it. Don't be so quick to self sabotage a good thing.
no one thinks great chemistry is a red flag. In fact people ignore red flags because of chemistry. Then when they get burned they warn others that great chemistry doesn't always mean they don't have red flags. The problem is people mention this little detail without all the bs they ignored.
Who would have thought that the generation raised on “safety first!” Would be so scared of taking even a minor risk?
That is so true. For boomers and gen x safety was something nice to have, but kids were mostly pretty much free to play how and wherever they wanted, even if they got hurt. When millennials grew up safety became more important. And now with gen z we have the "safety and comfort first" generation. To them even getting children is a comfort and safety issue. The west is already witnessing a huge birthrate drop and it will only get even worse.
Childbirth was literally fatal for women. It scars bodies for life. Men can just walk away. Want a baby? You carry it.
@@lenadahling Men can't just walk away tho. You put your thing in a wrong woman and you have a life ruined by false allegations/alimonies etc. The risk is always there, you can't avoid it.
@JugglernautNr9 Gen x raised alot of young melenials and older Gen z
it's not a minor risk unless you're not serious about finding a good one
Meanwhile, the fear many men have concerning marriage is VERY real.
1) She stays: You pay
2) She goes: You pay
3) She cheats: You pay
4) You go: You pay
Sounds like a great deal. Where do I sign up?
Jokes on you, I’m broke. She’s not getting anything 😅
And that's why courage is a virtue.
Yup. Men are basically wallets with 3 legs.
This is the same kind of thinking but in reverse. It's risk-aversion. Both sexes have things to fear. The point here is that love is always risky. But it turns out that the only things that are meaningful in life involve risk.
This whole thing is summed up as… social media ruins everything. And it truly has. There’s almost no positive benefit left for us having and using it.
*Consumerism ruins everything
Except we're watching this video and having this interaction on social media.
Social media is an easy scape goat but this was already a growing problem before it came.
@@consciouscrypto3090 uh maybe… I don’t consider this social media really. This is like an entertainment video site. Almost like watching tv. Social media to me is sites where you talk and meet people or make groups of people etc. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. places that have seemingly no value outside of gossip, showing off, meeting people…
I have learned how to build a car engine on here, I graduated top of my class in college bc the education channels here, I watch spiritual sermons here, and I don’t talk to people that I even know
Their face or name, never met anyone from here, so it’s a big difference to me.
@@consciouscrypto3090 We would likely not have needed this video or this interaction if it wasn't for social media.
I think it should be pretty important to mention that risk aversion is becoming more common for men too. So we just...don't date.
average income in the US is 46 k a year, average child support $400 and only 44% of the child support is paid on regular basis.
Risk aversion directly correlates with testosterone deficiency. Hormonal birth control has done ALOT of damage but also men living easier lives is a contributor.
the female version of the red pill has this concept that in a relationship or a public space the man is the car driver and the woman is the pedestrian. to explain that the outcomes are far more greater on the woman's life than men's.
@@dontcallthemliberals3316how do men live easier lives?
@@corvuscorax8459 Less Darwinian pressures than in the past. I didn't mean compared to women (although there's an argument to be made that is also true). I meant compared to men in the past.
Testosterone levels are down across the board period. Are you contesting that data?
Many men are afraid of being called creeps. For example, a few days ago, I found myself extremely drawn to a nurse who was giving my puppy his final round of shots. We had decent enough chit chat, something that is quite rare for me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to ask for her number, my biggest fear being she would say she already had a boyfriend. It’s a line I hear a lot. I feel like I can’t ask someone out unless we already know each other relatively well, or else risk being called a creep.
Batman can't afford to settle. You're a billionaire in your mind. You're the table, king ❤.
What is so bad about being called a creep ? If you know you're not one, it's more of a useful indication about the other person who, on top of that, actually doesn't know you yet... It's scary to make the step but it's really what they call an asymmetrical bet in finance. Lots to win, little to lose... Tell your mind to zip it and do what you want to do.
@kd12345 I think it’s unfortunate because I don’t use dating sites or have a place where I regularly interact with single people. I only meet new people through random interactions. The problem is one has to get 50 refusals in order to get one yes.
@@batman5224Those refusals actually aren’t a bad idea if you treat them like exposure therapy. JP actually talked about it, it’s a good exercise. Ask for 50 phone numbers a day, it helps you get rid of fear of rejection.
@kd12345 hopefully you’ll overcome the trauma of someone asking you a question.
There are literally infinite excuses to not do something.
This is why we can’t have nice things. 😂
She could've just said, women are afraid of getting hurt, and that would've saved us 8 1/2 minutes of our lives.
@kd12345 why did u put up with it
But thats the thing no one ever has any tangible positive reasons to have kids. like right now it sounds like youre saying "Sacrifice yourself to the cause of having children because____" and no one ever finishes that sentence
@@skyhappyIn all fairness, its difficult for some people to leave an abusive relationship for a variety of reasons, it may be financial or the person is still so deluded that their significant other still loves them despite abusing them or puts it off as tough love.
For the sake of your health (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically), get off social media. Got rid of all mine over a year ago. Best decision ever.
YT is probably the biggest social media platform outside of tiktok
I've never been on any other social media platform than YT. What makes YT so different that so many people seem to not consider it as part of the "normal" social media?
@@ElUnicoPapiNegrito YT is social media, but not in the same way that TikTok, Facebook, Instgram, etc are.
Never went on in the first place.
@@BrianMolstad Same here. Outside of YT, that is! And, YT really only since the pandemic hit.
This is what happens when everyone reads a few articles then thinks they are an internet therapist just spewing out the word "narcissist" and "trauma" left and right.
True. 99% overreaction
Sounds like something a narcissist would say
😂😂@@AUniqueHandleName444
@@AUniqueHandleName444 The hallmark response.
"if you disagree about narcissism, your a narcissist!"
That's contemporary pop psychology in a nutshell.
Depopulation
agenda
@@ricardo7oo21
It's all planned
No need, the microplastics are already doing a great job
@ricardo7oo my comment got deleted and all I said was two numbers to finish off what you said
This is so accurate. I’ve been asked for my number by a few girls and will text them and ask them out, and then they ghost me. That’s after she asked for the number from me!
Yep
Good louck for you then. If the girl risked, you are in a safe bet
this has happened to me a lot too.
I don't even give my number to women anymore.
Unfortunately they turn something that starts fun into a total waste of time.
I would never have a serious relationship, personal and business, with someone who just doesn't reply
soooooooooo COMMOM. My psychologist (woman) said that the only complaint from woman is that MEN dont "come to them anymore".
Its BECAUSE OF THIS. siletn threatment all the time for guys from all ages, differente beauties and differente economic status. Girls got narcisistic.
Social medi ENDED the Humanity in them, some can LIE it for some good time (TO pretend they care because they want the benefits of being with you) and fewer are outside this "realm"
sounds like the concept of safe spaces has hit the dating scene.
Women are dating. They are choosing hookups instead of relationships.
Absolutely correct!!
Yet it's 60% of young men saying they're single vs young women's 30%
Not true at all. A lot of us are tired just as much as some men.
@@jasmineewing3789It IS in fact true. Just because you don't do it doesn't mean everyone else doesn't.
Can u blame them?
She could've just said, women are afraid of getting hurt, and that would've saved us 8 1/2 minutes of our lives.
Didn’t even listen already knew it would hurt my ears
Everything and I mean everything has gone to extremes. There is no moderation anymore even though moderation is key.
Your comment has gone to extremes. Not everything has. The number of dog owners hasn't gone to extremes for instance. Relax.
Moderation is for reasonable outcomes. If you want to be in the center and play it safe, then do so. But don't expect exceptional outcomes from painting in the boundaries. If you want an amazing woman, be an amazing man and attract her.
@@iamjagold I agree with your statement but that's not what I was getting at. I'm talking about people being sucked into extreme positions, whether they be politics, religion, social, physical etc. It's runs across the board on many issues though. Many reasons for it, including misinformation and propaganda from the information highway etc. One example having to do with this topic are MGTOW movements, the incels, red pill bs and so on. There are grains of truth found in all of these movements though which is why it can be so appealing to men and women. I think it's dangerous for people to get sucked into these things just like it is for someone to get sucked into wacky conspiracy theories and cult like behavior.
@@williamrunner6718 Its all extreme because there's a hormonal imbalance. Imagine if boomers injected their teenage sons with testosterone every day for years, imagine the effect that would have on their emotional development. That's what they did to young women except with oestrogen through hormonal birth control. And the more risk averse the oestrogen makes them the harder it is to have the uncomfortable conversation about their risk aversion, it's a negative feedback loop that continues until they are in their 30's and can't form a healthy relationship because they are too risk averse to take accountability for anything. it also makes for really shitty parenting strategies in single mothers because they can't take accountability for being a shitty mom. History will not look kindly on the modern generations.
This happens when society has it too easy for too long. You no longer know what REALLY bad is...and almost everything that isn't great/good now becomes the worst thing you can imagine. All forms of social media keep negatively reinforcing this and society as a whole becomes increasingly schizophrenic and mentally unstable.
Completely agree
see 'behavioral sink' (aka calhoun experiments). last exit to greens were missed (or deliberytely bombed) decades ago. no solutions. not even only moderately shitty tradeoffs.
You couldn’t be more right!
Crashing economy, skyrocketing suicide rates, declining life expectancy,> lol its not exactly easy
May I challenge you on this? Is society really easier? or did we remove natural and predictable challenge and replace it with artificial inconsistent challenge?
Studies on learning show that if outcomes are chaotic it hinders growth and learning as the reinforcement is unreliable.
I think one of the greatest problems of the modern world is that we have removed a lot of the value of struggle because the outcomes of facing it have become unreliable in a greater way. Take modern hiring practices, a quick youtube search will show you how corrupted the job application process has become and how often applying to many online jobs is quite literally applying for a job that doesn't exist.
I might agree that modern life is more comfortable but that is not the same thing as easier. In many many ways life is actually harder due all the noise and chaos of modern times. We also can't deny that housing and general affordability is way harder now than it was.
I think social media has also taught women to have expectations that are so unrealistic that no guy is ever going to meet them. Then a guy looks at the bar he's expected to hurdle and goes..... umm.. nope... it ain't worth the effort.
She keeps saying its influence from online. Stop giving your kids access to the internet at young ages. You are failing your kids when you let them have youtube at 5.
You gotta have strong parents. kids: (" but everybody at school uses it") parents have given their power to schools and other adults and children.
My parents got my neice on a smart phone at 2. She developed a "cross eye" which requires her to wear contacts......yah they told me I was wrong when I warned them against it. Its a shame
@@adriansanchez4875 Yup. My answer to that would be something like, 'Then I guess they have worse parents than you do.'
i believe th e person describing the problem in the video is also not married and has no kids as well
Yeah I'm a millenial who didn't have Internet access until maybe 12, and even that was too early.
One thing I notice is they are told men are bad, every relation ship fail is men's fault etc.
Because they weren't brought up around several brothers. Thus, they cannot read male behaviour.
True
The lack of siblings also contributes to people not understanding other people, the lack of fathers makes this even worse. A lot of women lack empathy for men and boys because they grew up both without brothers and a father, so she doesn't understand how men interact with each other or with women and will immediately view it as hostile alien behaviour. The same also goes in reverse.
Such an insightful comment!
Simple answer, women fall in love with love not the man himself. This makes it so, they do not accept a man for who he is, and trick themselves into thinking he tricked them, when he was exactly who he was from the beginning. They really fear themselves not men
💯
Worst judges of character, I’ll always stand by that.
@@dmcentYT exactly. The fact is they dont trust themselves. If you fear dating it means you fear not trusting yourself to deal with emotional side of dating. Which is rejection and other stuff
What a sad argument... blaming women because they believe in the mask men put on the first months, and then expecting them to love the person that was behind the mask without that person making any effort to be better.
@@TheMotArtExactly! I really hate to say it but it’s so common for men to just try to decieve the people around them, not just their partners 😕
Well, the media is constantly portraying men in a bad light so there's that. Also, you have to consider that women are more inclined to not want to date than men. With women in the workplace, women are increasingly "lukewarm" to dating; if the right guy comes along then she'll get excited, but if he doesn't she's quite happy to play the field until she hits her 30s. At that point, she'll either have her ideal guy (extremely low chance), she'll be single and stay that way as she couldn't bear dating a lower-tier guy, or she will settle due to the dread of being alone or due to societal/familial pressure. It's brutal for average guys out there
The more I have to deal with men at home, at work and in public, the less I'm interested in dating them LOL.
@@KFrost-fx7dt jesus.. get help
Not with the bother IMO.
@@Snake369bloody true mate, she needs help.
@@KFrost-fx7dtjeez
, get some help.
If you want to bring down a society, this is an effective under-the-radar way of doing it. On occasion, it's good to be older and to have come of age in far more normal times when dating required face to face conversation, trial and error, sometimes being hurt, and sometimes getting it right because we could assess risk and make critical decisions based on lessons learned.
Just a friendly reminder to anyone that is listening that the Chinese Communist Party owns TicTok
Dont settle guys
Drizzle drizzle
What does this drizzle mean?
Drizzle drizzle is a new term used in womens social media which means find a guy who can take care of you ie give you money. Ive seen videos where the woman says if he doesn't pay your rent after three months you should drop him. @naughtybuddha3812
@@naughtybuddha3812it was originally a parody of “sprinkle sprinkle” but for men. And sprinkle sprinkle is basically just a mic drop at this point
More social media drivel
I'm 21 and I cannot see myself married at all, I used to back in middle school wanting a family and everything but its too much of a risk, choose the wrong woman and your life is quite literally over.
At 21, if you can see yourself married, you are definitely the exception.
Don't give up my guy. I'm 27, have not had a girlfriend yet, and I'm just waiting/looking for the right woman. It's very difficult to find women of good character, but you do have to remember that'll you'll never find a perfect woman. You yourself, like the rest of us, are not perfect either! But you do have to be patient and vigilant. Don't settle for any "loose" women or women who don't know what they really want in life.
It's a tough road, but just find a woman that doesn't live for you, but lives for God. If you're both chasing Him, everything else will become much easier to bear and much easier to love each other.
Also, this sounds counter intuitive, but try to find a woman that you can fight with. No, I don't mean abusive or anything of that sort. What I mean is find a woman who you can communicate with, and even though you have your differences, can still come to reasonable decisions and conclusions in discussions and arguments, when they occur.
Also, don't ever go to bed on your anger. If she said something that hurt you, communicate that with her. If you said something that hurt her, have her communicate that with you. You NEED to be able to effectively communicate, and her likewise with you. Deep-seeded disdain comes from many, many occurrences of anger and offense that are never properly addressed between two people. It also drives a wedge between a good man and a good woman, and it happens far too often.
All that to say, keep doing what you're doing, chase the highest good you can, and don't be afraid to take risks. The way I've gotten so many dates just in the past six months is employing a simple statement "I'm open to opportunities". I actually said that to a nurse when I had appendicitis back in 2021, the genesis of that statement for me, when she asked if I was single prepping me for surgery, and she then asked the entire nurse staff if they were single WHILE I was in surgery! That's a true story!
So don't let cynicism and self-doubt cloud your mind. You're going to be in for it for the long haul like myself. Just don't forget what you're searching for, and look for a woman who is perfect for you, despite both your flaws and her flaws.
I hope that helps.
@@garrettoconnell8671you're optimism is so inspiring
You just need to talk to women more.
Then don't choose the wrong woman. But if you're going to be choosing woman at all you're going to have to get out there and date if that's important to you. If it's not then great. It's not like we need more people on this planet. It's too bad that you would be missing out on some fun relationships. If you stay strong and firm on the fact that you're not interested in anything too serious, you can have a lot of fun without ruining your life
Lesson = get off the internet.
I think more so would be to understand the difference between nihilistic feminism and proper enlightenment
u literally need it, keep coping tho
@@broidkanymore-zc4lt Huh?
@@CentralBankofTruth u just needed it to reply to me
@@broidkanymore-zc4lt So? What's that got to do with "coping"?
As a 77 year old now, I think this revulsion and fear of sex and children is the logical result of the “free love” mentality of the 60’s. And that being directly linked to the “feminist” ideology that seemed to invade our minds. Self-serving. Self-promoting. “Can have it all” mentality. My children came 2nd to my agenda and I resented them for “imposing” on me. Because of a change of mind due to seeing this from a Christian perspective, I could accept that those earlier beliefs were like a cancer to our family, and would be deadly to others.
"it much harder to date now"... for men
Here's dating circular logic rooted in solipsism that I hear all the time and I am a Millennial.
The concept of "you should not date until you are your best self and have solved all your issues, otherwise your next relationship will fail AND you will waste another person's time selfishly/damage them.
If you choose to have a relationship before you are at your best self, you are a bad/toxic/immature person. If you choose to be with someone who is not their best self, it means YOU are toxic and get what you deserve and YOU need to work on yourself."
The problem with this logic is that, if you follow it through to the end, you will always be working towards a best self, because you change through time, aging, and experience. We are not static beings. So we are being encouraged to wait forever before taking a leap into relationships.
Also, relational experience and learning requires you to BE IN A RELATIONSHIP to practice and learn from successes and failures. It takes two people, not leveling up in solitude.
you might gain clarity of thought once uprooting any residue of 'blank slate' g.nd.r craep in what will become your operating mind then + henceforth, potentially.
Totally. You really do have to just...take a risk. For the most part, people are not their best selves by themselves.
@@AUniqueHandleName444 Yes! If a person is the only measure of themselves without the outside giving input, it's a breeding ground for narcissism (not the personality disorder, but the Dorian Grey kind of ego-distortion shit).
The biggest tragedy of the younger generations I see as an older Millennial is that we were taught to be risk-averse to everything.
It is kinda funny, when good looking people like in this video talk about dating, and they have no issues with dating, because they are good looking and famous. Like Henry Cavill would say "just talk to women - works for me everytime"
I mean, once you 'get it', that is basically how it works. You're just talking to them. But getting to the point where you 'get it' requires what amounts to basically sorcery nowadays, with the way there's no real social interaction.
Anyone who thinks like this will end their bloodline, so at least they won't pass this madness onto their descendants.
Not if your brother or sister reproduces but I do agree everyone should get married and have kids
@@Frederick0220 Not everyone.
@@Frederick0220 not everyone.
@@abduwalimuse7482 OK, most
Im a Christian in the middle of nowhere in the country. In my church, there’s these gen z girls in their early to mid 20s, I’m early 30s. You better bet, they are dating rich guys from NY, LA and so on. Cant compete with that.
How can you tell do they get flown out or how do you see it first hand
2 million subscribers! And 100k views! Congrats!
It’s unfortunate everyone just blames social media. Yes that is a part of it, but I think it just worsened the issue.
I would actually argue this is the natural result of a free dating market.
Studies have found that men higher in dark triad traits (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy) can be more attractive to women. This makes sense because those disorders can sometimes have side effects that are actually initially attractive. Narcissists can have attractive self confidence and charisma. Machiavellianism can make them better at manipulating and persuading. And I heard a pick up artist say that “sociopathic or psychopathic” guys always did the best at their trainings, because whereas the regular students were shy and afraid of being a nuisance, they would approach quickly and confidently and be so unempathetic they didn’t care what happened.
At the same time probably due to social atomization and dating hostility, a lot of regular guys are actually discouraged. If you look on social media sites like Twitter there are regularly viral posts of women mocking, criticizing, and bashing men who they don’t like approaching them. It’s also in the mainstream like the infamous Gillette ad. This may cause the type of guy who is sensitive to a woman’s feelings to try less or not at all.
I heard a woman on Twitter say she was on Facebook groups in the UK where women discuss men who emotionally or physically abused them and find out a lot of them were dating the same guy. There was also a infamous Facebook group in the US in that vein called are we dating the same guy or something.
A while back a pew research poll found among men age 18-29 60% said they weren’t in a committed relationship but 30% of women in that bracket said the same. Most people assumed women were dating older men, but in the same survey in 2012 it was roughly 50% for both genders in that age bracket.
What I think is a major factor is many hyper attractive men who end up behaving badly are dating multiple women and hurting / burning them, and the women become hesitant to date and worry the next guy is like that or even assume all men are like that based on her limited experience, because those are the ones she keeps running into because they are some of the most attractive and most likely to pursue her.
You are massively overthinking it. Most people simply aren’t dating period.
I don't think you are over thinking it. It seems most people simply want to blame the new thing for aberrant behavior. It happened/happens with videogames now. It will take a while for people to realize if there is as strong as a causal link as they think.
The nice guys missed their chance to make their presence known. Now I am permanently scarred and traumatized by the "dark triad" ones as you called them. Where were the "nice guys" when I was younger? Oh that's right, ignoring me and blowing me off when I tried to talk to them. All men are bad for women, just in different ways.
I think you'd have to throw 30ish years of self esteem programming into the mix as well. The problem for women with hypergamy/hypogamy is the guy dating down has to get something out of that. What that something happens to be is easy access to sex with women that will be quickly discarded. In a more rational state women would understand this but when you've spent your formative years being programmed that you're a 10, all women are 10's, you don't see the downside to the hypergamy dynamic and think you're dating at your level. And it just seems to be easier for women to declare the men they're sharing narcists (a condition that is actually quite rare) than deal with the reality they're trying to punch up and that's just the cost to have time with those men.
@@KFrost-fx7dt Take at least SOME accountability, my god ...
"People who want to avoid something focus on reasons.
People who want to achieve something focus on goals." - Richard David Precht
Solid quote.
What it also is, is a practice of hypochondriac syndrome in dating. They are constantly looking for personality disorders, wanting to avoid any personality and character flaws that a man may have that create an obstacle in her ambitions and life.
Alcoholism, verbal and physical abuse, sexual abuse, a hardness of heart that doesn't allow easy forgiveness, real narcissism... these are "red flags" to be concerned about. There are more, but trying to see a person's total issues become problematic for her and for the man being petri dished.
Ok. This comment nails it ❗️❗️❗️
"a hardness of heart that doesn't allow easy forgiveness" - Care to explain this part further? Not hating or disagreeing, genuinely curious.
Anything that is mildly uncomfortable will now result in 'trauma'
Risk aversion has been something I have noticed in life a lot too. That is the main things I noticed with Gen Z men and women. It seems like whenever they bring up an idea of a relationship it is a fantasy of the perfect partner. That person has the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect job and they will never make you uncomfortable and is going to accept all of their flaws and not complain. That person does not exist. I noticed this heavily with young women talking about 4B. I have seen so many women say the reason why they will not date is they believe men inheriently want to use them and leave them in a bad spot after. There are too many buzzwords about the patriarchy, manspaining, man spreading, toxic masculinity...I do not want to hear about this all day.
Upon first learning about the gender war and 4B movement happening in Korea: there's no way things could be THAT bad, none of this is possibly justified
Upon learning some more of the context: holy fucking shit, it is THAT bad
My mistake was hearing the word "feminism" and automatically assuming it was the same brand of western 4th wave, but the situation in Korea is LEGITIMATELY so much worse for both sexes, neither is having so much as an ok time.
Side question: What's 4B?
As to the main point...
Something my grandmother told me when I got married is, "Everybody marries the wrong person. Because the right person would be perfect, and perfect doesn't exist."
It really served me well. My wife and I have worked through a lot of each other's bullshit together and changed for the better year after year. But yeah, it takes accepting a lot of imperfection and loving them anyway.
@@AUniqueHandleName444 That is good that you and your wife have worked many things out. My parents are still married decades later.
4B is a tiny movement in South Korea where the womne went on strike and will not engage in relationships with men. Of course the American women on Tik tok, because they are so bored, interpreted it as they should just join the South Korean women. I will even say I have told the women thank you for admitting you don't want to date men so I will not bother you. They still are triggered that men will not try and date them in a movement that is anti dating men...ahhh my head hurts. 4B to American women is just another excuse to pretend that men have only flaws and women have 0.
You lost me at "believe" men want to use them. From my lived experience it is not belief, but observation. Is it irrational sometimes, because it is inflated out of proportion? Yes. But it is also very real.
Instead of pretending it's not true we should think about what to do with it.
People can do whatever they want, thankfully. If they decide to let social media tell them what to do, that's on them. It is good that people know they do not HAVE to have kids, a lot simply do not want to and have other things they would rather do with their time. Her wording on it being the most important thing is quite condescending. It is the most important thing for her, she cannot speak for everyone.
Keeping the species alive is objectively more important than anything else.
@@scartissuefilms Everyone has a right to free will and shouldn't be forced or pressured to reproduce if it's not desired. Keeping the species alive is indeed very important, but don't let that become a way of harassing people who simply don't want to reproduce. There will be some other way those people can contribute to important things in society. And there's PLENTY of people having kids since it's what the majority does. I literally see people with kids everywhere I go. I'm not worried about it at all
“We suffer more in imagination than reality.” - Seneca
I am 32 now and I stopped dating one year ago and it was the best decision of my live after getting selfemployed 💪😁
Cope
@@Warbr33dit can be if you never been laid or in a real
I looooooove being single. I am not current single. But I love it. So simple. No compromise, no obligatory family shit, no hurt feelings, no schedule demands. It’s lovely. Enjoy your decision ❤️
MGTOW's spamming the comment section of every video that is even remotely related dating about how happy they are not dating, feels like they're trying to convince themselves by projecting outwards. Or it's some foreign campaign to attack the reproduction of the west.
MGTOW's spamming the comment section of every video that is even remotely related dating about how happy they are not dating, feels like they're trying to convince themselves by projecting outwards. Ot it's some foreign campaign to attack the Reproduction of the west.
This woman is so cool. Really humble and down to earth.
What I don’t get -
If I don’t want children, I won’t make some. I wouldn’t tell others not to have them. So why is telling others what’s right for them more important than just living your choices??
Status. Approval. Affirmation. People get a kick from telling others what they should do. You man not need these things but plenty of other people do.
Two words: Virtue Signalling
I think it has a lot to do with the pressure from the outside you get to have kids. It's fucking annoying and exhausting. I wouldn't tell someone to not have kids so stop trying to push me into it. From my experience from the outside looking in, people who have kids either make it their entire personality or try to convince you how great it is and they seem like someone who is held hostage. At the end of the day I don't judge them for their choice
There is also patterns of economic inequality increasing, as well as the level of insecure attatchments in society
Giving up on dating was the single greatest decision of my life. No worries, more money, no stress, more freedom, best mental health I’ve had in years. Recommend more men do it.
it sounds like she's saying women shouldn't be worried about dating a potential abuser. i dont think she explained her point well.
How can you say women are being risk averse when hookup culture is bigger than it's ever been?
Because "women" are not a group that all think and act the same? Some women are getting all the sex they can handle and others are terrified of being asked out on a date.
@@jrd33 We wouldn't call today's dating a hookup culture if it wasn't prevalent and if large swaths of people were not participating in said culture. Tired of hearing the same old argument that it's not everyone. No one disputes that. But what if it's a staggering number? A staggering majority?
They don’t want to admit women are sometimes just gross. There always has to be some sad reason. Guys are far more risk averse than women.
It isn't bigger - the amount of sex in society is falling and they are even calling it a sex recession
As a man who never wanted wanted. I was convinced by my ex wife to have them and its the best thing I've ever done. Yes it's hard as a single dad, yes I miss out on luxurys and a lot of me time but I would do it again and again and again. I have 3 wonderful kids who bring me so much joy and given the choice of a simple life with my family or a life of social media, drama and fake friends I'll take me and my kids all day, every day.
I have zero issues with people not wanting kids. At one point I didn't either but I find it sad that there is people out there trying to influence young people into making the same life choices and stealing the joy of a family away from them.
100% agreed. Some people are just terrible parents and they don't deserve to have kids. Criminals, drug addicts, alcoholics and people suffering from mental illnesses should deal with their issues first before having kids.
Social media and its consequences have been a disaster for humanity.
I did not predict the Internet and social media would have this outcome
The problem is that it didn't have to be this way. I don't think this is inherent to the concept of social media. These companies designed them the way they are because that's how they've chosen to drive engagement.
Who would have thought that raising a generation to believe that every negative, adversarial, or even just difficult aspect and event in life is not just part of life, but a medical or psychological condition that needs to be medicated or therapied away would have negative societal consequences?
This is pretty simple. Men are afraid of any life experience a woman could have endured as they label everything outside of a classical path as madness or abnormality. They want the perfect women with the most classical path and random beauty. They want it all random with not a single flaw not a single problem. While they face a problem, none of them have learnt to solve it. Endurance notion have been lost. They will found one hundred reasons to run from each others. Here why relathionships don't last anymore. A classical fight or flight. But Gen Z just as Gen Y do dates. They just don't put any effort to maintain a relationship. Honestly I understand.
I'd like to think that my visceral reaction against the modern preoccupation with safety is because I knew at a gut level what it would do to us. And it's everywhere. It even bugs me when people see each other off with, "be safe out there!" or "have a safe trip!"
@@tobe-you-tube6612 The first half of your post borders on schizo, highly recommend touching grass tonight.
@@PassifloraCerulea While I agree with this whole safety thing being overdone, I'd worry a bit if 'have a safe trip' bothers you. 🤣
@@tobe-you-tube6612I can find beauty in almost every women. I think you're just on the internet too much girlie
Soon as the word tiktok comes out of someone's mouth I'm out.
Yes, but its still a relevant social media platform since so many people use it. I don't use it personally, but many do and its still a demographic that is being influenced by a ton of nonsense.
You mean talking about an extremely relevant and marketable social media platform with hundreds of millions of impressionable users and an addicting algorithm that negatively influences peoples biases and attention-spans to convert them into sheep is an issue?
@@Kynect2Hymn It's only relevant for brainlets who seek constant validation from strangers.
Fake comment. This one is a copy of one from an hour earlier.
Thotbot.
i love how the term "love bombing" has become a pejorative,
it pretty much says everything.
If he say "i love you" and gives you gifts, it means he is an abuser, or he is manipulating you or he is weak.
However, as we know, if he is emotionally unavailable, tells you that you are sh*t and no good at anything, then he is "my guy"
Avoiding pain is part of feminist/utopia philosophies - that there’s ‘magical steps’ to paradise on earth. But you’re left in your own hell instead, alone for life
Not just feminists, its almost the core of our entire society
who said that was hell? If you can't enjoy your own company how in the world do you expect other people to?
I didn't have kids until I was 30. I did the 'selfish-living' thing up to that point: partying and dating. Honestly, that vapid self-centered existence gets old. There is a deeper meaning to life than simply serving your own whims. There's a great scene in 'Knocked Up' between the son (Seth Rogan) and father (Harold Ramis).
*SON* : "Honestly though, when you look at me, do you not think at all ...like... you know if he never existed, I would have avoided a massive heap of trouble...."
*FATHER* : " Absolutely not. I love you totally and completely. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
My son is 20 now. This exchange is 100% true for me.
Good flick, that.
Too bad the risk isn't worth it and the juice isn't worth the squeeze. 💊
@@wtfdtreats Having kids is the best thing that ever happened to me. Marriage....not so much.
Developing relationships takes time.
People wear masks, and until those masks come off, from going through various situations together and seeing who people really are, we are only getting to understand the mask. Time, give it time, take it slow, value honesty - also learn and forgive.
Well thats very interesting
Your thoughts on Gen Z seeing risk as the devil is so spot on. Risk is life.
Meanwhile, more hospitals are poised to shutter their maternity departments while school districts grapple with the startling decline in student enrollment. Concurrently, there's a documented decline in men's testosterone levels, sperm quality, and counts, averaging about 1% per year across all racial groups. These shifts, among others, are fundamentally altering the landscape of humanity itself. Yet, what's truly unsettling is the conspicuous SILENCE from our media, politicians, and educational institutions on these very critical issues. That silence, above all else, is what should instill fear in ALL of us.
A Record Share of Young Adults Will Never Marry - "...it is striking that just 20% of 25-year-old women and 23% of 25-year-old men have ever married today. These are close to the lowest levels ever observed for marriage rates. Many commentators will blame these declines on the increased delay in marriage. While there’s some truth to this, the situation is extreme at higher ages, too. As the figure below shows, ever-married shares today are at historic lows for 35-year-old and 45-year-old men and women. For instance, only about 60% of 35-year-old men are ever-married today, down from 90% in 1980. This trend also suggests that a growing share of Americans will not get married before their healthiest years are long past them." - 2/2024
Where do you have an adult relationship when you live with your parents because of high housing costs ?
The "avoiding risks" talk started around 20 years with teens of the time. It doesn't surprise me, being in my early 30s now, that we're seeing more young ones avoiding relationships and the like. As Freya said, there's enough going on with risk aversion that it makes sense as to why they aren't being in relationships. If everything is through a lens of discomfort, or being afraid of hurting someone's feelings, then yeah... it's not going to end well.
When i was younger i expected to be married with a family and career. I have given up on both. I am aiming at now is a stable job so i can provide for myself and my kitty
Because the voice and reach that social media gives the older toxic single females. Makes the radical narrative seem normal and acceptable.
Very good Point. 🤔
💯% correct!!
"radical"
nah, it's all the same, same as it ever was. 💊
Society refuses to openly admit that the majority of abuse hurled at women is hurled by older women who are trying to oppress them.
Excessive fear/concern for risk fosters maladaptation and mental illness. Women can be cowards too. They need to focus on virtues of strength and bravery and consider whether the distortions online and the memetic culture of conditioning is in their self-interest. Obviously, it's not. It's a shame that the Aristotlean concept of 'eudaimonia' isn't in everyday parlance.
As a 48 yr old, I’m so glad to have missed this. I moved to LA in 1997 at 21 and already saw women acting a little bit like this. Very guarded society out here. In Philly, where I’m from, it was not the case at all. If a woman liked a guy, they’d show it and it seemed natural. It was especially a breath of fresh air when I would visit home. All that’s happened is that the whole country has become LA-ish women through their influence online. I feel sorry for both sides. They’ve both given up their natural inclinations because of being afraid of being hurt or embarrassed.
all i would say to the "avoidance of risk" argument,
is that there are always two sides to a risk,
the risk of doing something, and the risk of not doing something,
how about the risk of losing your mind, because children are the prime means of emotional control in adults, because it focuses them on something outside themselves.
people who lose their minds, are mostly childless, or not pursuing a relationship to have children, because they literally lack purpose and meaning.
I'm a younger millennial, and I'm always astounded by the number of women who start with "I need to make sure you're not a psychopath/serial killer". How little faith in the male sex do you have that you have a genuine fear of those things?
@@user-jl2mx6zr5z Yes. When I used to use Tinder, a large minority of women had that in their profile.
It's the consumption of true crime stories, leading to those fears
Why genZ guys are also just as, if not more terrified of dating
So that is why and amazing video Chris Williamson :]
Comportamentos que antes eram comuns num contexto de flerte,agora são considerados como “assédio”, “importunação”, “stalking”, etc. Os homens estão receosos e as mulheres estão paranóicas.
Wait, did Chris actually look at Her/She? What a predator move! Cancelled! NOW!
Dear Gen Z women,
My Gen Z brothers and I are patiently waiting to enjoy life with you. Take as much time as you need in order to figure things out. We respect you and we miss you. We want to start healthy families with you. And hopefully by doing that, we can make the world a slightly better place.
Love, a Gen Z man.
Sadly, those women are RIGHT - those they feel that strong draw to tend to be exactly the exciting "bad boys" that will hurt them. The men they really should be dating are the ones they threw into the friend zone.
I often wonder if this is all a by product of small families. I have a large family with lots of siblings and cousins, the thought that women or men in general are evil seems odd to me because I see the opposite, but I guess if I only had a handful of family members I might believe all the nonsense that is being fed to me online.
I pay for premium to not have ads and then they put them in the video
They do it because they get paid regardless of view count. It gets funny when you think that in 5 years most of the companies advertised, or the products, won't be around.
Fear not my friends, everything is exactly as it should be. If it wasn't, things would be different. We're right on course!
Therapy speak has absolutely infected online dating discourse.
Way too much critical theory and way too little critical thinking.
And the two are not the same at all. In fact, Critical Theory requires abandoning critical thinking as its first step.
@@kirkdarling4120 That explains the current resident of the white house.
@@Namelbmerthaha true 😂
I heard from a friend who's taking a Psychology class: the professor asked "What is the thing you are most scared of?" and projected a wordcloud of the answers, the class being mostly composed of young women. "Men" was by a large margin the most common answer. Of course, it was partially satyre, but also not so much: we grew up scared of strangers, and scared of strange men most of all. We're divided and terrified.
I think books like "HumanKind: a Hopeful History" by Bregman are needed now more than ever. We must re-establish trust with each other, communities, comraderie, and love. The virtual surrogate can only go so far, and like many modern foods it leaves us starving while we gorge on it.
Rather than just trusting again, it's about being trustworthy... Sadly every woman I know have been abused by men in some form.
It's not only social media, it's also lived experiences.
@@TheMotArt Gen Z women and Gen Z men? That's as silly as me (a 70 year-old black man) being as fearful of a white Gen Z man as I was afraid of white men as a child in the 1950s.
Would love to see the correlation of fear of men with lack of fathers in the household. I mean if you’re a woman and you have no positive male role model it’s no surprise you’re afraid.
@@TheMotArtEVERY man I know including myself has been abused by a women as well. Make a choice, move on or wallow in isolation and misery.
What is the biggest threat to women? That’s your answer
A girl on a site like DINK is worried a guy is the one trying to take advantage of HER. Talk about projection.
They certainly aren’t afraid of running up the notch count.
The difference between creep and narcissist is physical. One is instantly spotted, the other after they get dumped. Both instances are men's fault.
You're thinking of the Millennial and Gen X population. Gen Z is having the least sex of any recent generations.
@@dahliaherrod4301 100%. What he (Alex) says is simply untrue. Gen Z (both genders) have the highest rate of celibacy we've ever seen, especially men, but women as well.
@@Frederick0220 also to add, as a millennial I notice a very huge disconnect dating wise between myself a millennial and Gen Z's
@@JSwagy Yessir!
Yes! She put it very well.
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved ❤
Society needs realizes that women are more prone to tearing each other down with the guise of being helpful. I'm not trying to sound rude but I'm watching what is happening in the world and we have been prioritizing emotions over facts.
Maybe…just maybe, participation trophy’s don’t teach you how to deal with losing. Losing in life is experience. When you grow up living life in the gaming world or in TV Land, you’re not really living life. Or experiencing what the world & life teaches you. But, opinions are like a$$holes….everyone has one. 😂
Yep true..
Posting on ticktock that babies are bad , I HV a feeling that girl can't have kids and she is recruiting naive kids with the ability to do so into her life to fill the void, she should just adopt and if she can't then she should keep quiet
Bucket of crabs mentality.
Or maybe she's just realistic about what children are like. Parenthood is soul crushing labor.
@@KFrost-fx7dt if I were a girl , all that would matter would be having children and loving husband because the joy that I see on my mother's face every time she is with her 5 kids is unmatched
Or you just keep your kids off that nonsense. You can teach your kids to be pronatal.
@@allanatamba you are clueless.
It's a very risk adverse society in general now we saw this with covid.People less and less willing to even take everyday risks now.
humanity won't last I guess. The more technologically developed and intelligent we become, the more distant from the nature in the most insane of ways.
I'm terrified not because of social media, it is because I had really bad experiences, too many just for me to know I don't want to expose myself to that kind of mistreatment again
oh well, we are not losing much
@@giacomobandini969 You’re being rude to someone because they had bad experience with dating.. Stay classy
Mhm it's tough to want to get back out there and interact with people when things have gone wrong before. One thing that helped me was looking at people's values and why they're doing what they're doing.
Best of luck.
It's very, very common for people to look back at their previous relationship and only view the worst of that person's behaviours and that's predominantly due to the lost attractiveness and the associated shame. Secondly, if you're constantly having terrible experiences with people, it's very likely you're the problem.
@@user-og6hl6lv7p That person probably left *because* they were being treated bad. You’re speaking like a textbook abuser with zero ability to empathize.
Brought to you by LMNT: The most expensive way to get a packet of salt
Solution
Say and do what you feel, as long as it’s respectful and consensual .
Risk is fun and exhilarating. To risk nothing is to risk not being alive. Nothing to fear but fear itself ( have you heard that somewhere ?)
Easy solution
Fail….Fail 90% of time , then Succeed. Failure is part of Success.
Now go out there and have a blast.
Life is beautiful .
I wonder what risk avoidance behavior will mean in terms of the next-gen making investment decisions?
I am an older man living in a major city . When i am in the park, you listen to young women. In particular, you can't help but think God help us, particularly by the total self-assurance they have in their narrow, clechish, ignorant world view.
to be fair, trauma induced intense chemistry is a psychological fact BUT like any other complicated phenomenon it should be concluded by a qualified person not an online video/tweet or Tiktak
That sort of nuance is lost or outright rejected on most of the internet.
it is quite tragic, that the men who actually want children,
are essentially being framed as abusers, trying to "trap" the woman against her will,
when they know, that the woman needs children, with a present father, for her own sanity.
Listing only the negatives about kids to convince people not to have kids would be like listing all the risks/negatives for anything as a reason to not do anything. The only logically consistent approach would be essentially to become a recluse and never leave the house.
Soon as the word tiktok comes out of someone's mouth I'm out
Tiktok is no different from instagram, Facebook and twitter.
I've never downloaded it. What's it like? Just short videos and lots of propaganda?
@LeahBreHappy you're wrong. I can interact with my dear grandparents and rest of family on Facebook. Tiktok takes the wrinkles out of your brain
@@LeahBreHappy Instagram has become very tiktok like, twitter is another hell hole, but facebook isn't as bad. Not great either though
It's literally just shortform RUclips