You guys were spittin' facts like a minigun. Every part of the video is anchored in truth, even the "source" which I hope can be unlocked with a quantum computer in the next 300 years. Particularly the brain part was just masterful, my eyes lit up and I shot straight to google scholar because I remembered the brain thing is actually real. I always believed the best satire is tress of humour rooted in a soil of facts. By far the best onion video i've ever watched, because how immensely thought provoking and relatable it is 🤗
@zerotodona1495 I know right, how many times with touch screen tvs can you look at how in one of 2 ways 7 states can go? There's a finite number of combinations, and they go into do much detail that the onion is only barely exaggerating how much they zoom in to examine even the slightest movement
I’m one of the lucky few who didn’t know this was a parody channel. At first I was like, “Wow, this new’s channel is surprisingly entertaining…” and then that mf started zooming in and didn’t stop.😂
The first time I picked up The Onion newspaper (yes, it used to be in print) circa 2003-4, I didn’t realize it was a parody until well into the first article!
they went and not only doxxed him, but doxxed his thoughts, lifestyle, health, tumor, lungs, ribcage, vascular system, heart, DNA, and source, what did this guy do 😭
This is such great coverage. Other networks will talk about what's on our minds on election day but never what's in them. This molecular polling really sets The Onion apart.
I respect the Onion for going down the level of the “source” but no further for obviously dangerous and terrifying reasons. They’re the people who push past the barriers of traditional and stale reporting into something new and refreshing.
@@Anurania Imagine Trump or his campaign being held to anything resembling a standard of decorum such that "being extremely rude" would require damage control. Now use your one wish (wasted mine on food) to move us all to that timeline please.
@@Anurania Trump is constantly being extremely rude and the campaign doesn't even blink an eye. The joke is that Trump being extremely rude would not prompt any sort of damage control from his campaign, nevermind a "full on" response.
You know what, this is the best I’ve seen from The Onion in a good long time. Did not foresee the ONN RUclips making a big comeback but you might really pull this off.
I cant tell you how disturbing it is to see an Onion video zoom in to where you live. I literally live in Millcreek. This feels like one of those memes where your family is trying to tell you that you've been in a coma and to wake up.
As a SENTIENT PERSON THAT DEFINITELY ISN'T A CONSTRUCT OF YOUR IMAGINATION, I can tell you existence is not exclusive to you. You do not need to think such thoughts.
New ownership as of April 2024. They’re shifting away from the usual news-blog model of hosting scummy clickbait ads and instead adopting an optional-subscription model.
@@ryuuguu01 Probably, yeah, an infusion of funding to build hype for the subscription model. I wouldn’t be surprised if after the election they slim it down a bit. That said, the new owners have said they’re fans of the site. They’re also a single-purpose company as opposed to a conglomerate.
It's good seeing Mr. Copeland back. I know some people were saying 10 years was far too lenient but he's paid his debt to society and we should all just move on from the unpleasantness
Yeah I wasn’t impressed by the models; mostly just how well the entire thing is put together. They really had to work to get the map looking clean, and they used so many auxiliary models for the inside of the guy’s body.
Maybe if they zoom out far enough they can figure out those cosmological problems that are puzzling physicists - the ones that Sabine H. (can't spell her last name) is always talking about. I can't keep it all straight and I don't understand any of it (the "dark matter" and what not).
"Filling in for Clifford Baynes, who is currently catching up on fourteen years of popculture he missed out on while stranded on an island in the Indo-Pacific."
TBF, scientists have determined that all of the pertinent information regarding the source is present in the rings and how they move. Zooming in further is *just* dangerous, it doesn't actually tell you anything. 2bil dollars of equipment ruined for nothing...
@@alexgrissom3513nah they post all the time now but it’s been like a different channel entirely. Their hyper-partisanship is getting in the way of their creativity. How many jokes about Trump being racist or sexist can you write? Even for ppl who hate Trump’s guts that gets old
Jason Copeland is back! I remember his coverage of the 2012 election fondly: when he reported on Rodney 2012s cartoon parrot mascot to court the Latino vote, when he reported that social media has made every presidential candidate for the 2040 election unelectable! And when he famously called the “White hot sphere of rage” ticket for the republicans in 2016! It’s great to see him back in the newsroom!
Wanna earn some extra cash? Start a pool in your office as to when the Harris/Walz honeymoon will end. I'm optimistic that they'll defeat the pumpkin and his vacuous bearded sidekick, but reality is reality... You can't please all the people all the time...
@@KasumiRINA according to certain members of a demographic with an intense interest in Japanese entertainment, I've heard it said that flat is, in fact, justice
I hope we all know that it doesn't matter who is in the 'top job' because this is a systemic problem -- greed. We have allowed many of our economic sectors, to take advantage of the American people. It's disgusting and frightening for the future of our country. My wife and I will be retiring in the next two years n another country. We are absolutely worried that SSI will no longer be funded. we'll have to rely on my pension, a 403 (b) and a very prolific lnvestment account with my Abby Joseph Cohen my FA. Our national debt is bloating and expanding every month.
I went from no money to lnvest with to busting my A** off on Uber eats for four months to raise about $20k to start trading with Abby Joseph Cohen. I am at $128k right now and LOVING that you have to bring this up here
Abby Joseph Cohen Services has really set the standard for others to follow, we love her here in Canada 🇨🇦 as she has been really helpful and changed lots of life's
My main concern is how to survive all of these financial and political crises, especially in light of the US political power scuffle. The government has really called things more difficult for its citizens,but l thank God that I'm favoured with $186,000 every month! I can now give back to the locals in my community and also support God's work and the church without waiting for the government.God bless America.
Have a written record of society’s collapse. Become a member and get the paper here: bit.ly/40sNBKU
That was really well done. A lot of humour in that clip. Bravo.
moment
You guys were spittin' facts like a minigun. Every part of the video is anchored in truth, even the "source" which I hope can be unlocked with a quantum computer in the next 300 years. Particularly the brain part was just masterful, my eyes lit up and I shot straight to google scholar because I remembered the brain thing is actually real. I always believed the best satire is tress of humour rooted in a soil of facts. By far the best onion video i've ever watched, because how immensely thought provoking and relatable it is 🤗
This comment made me subscribe and I've been a fan for 15 years. Great job guys.
Watch The Onion's "Future News From The Year 2137." Gallows humor to the extreme. They do predict it all.
"No, because I am scared." 😂😂😂
Sounds like propaganda to me
This fuckin' kills me HAHAHAHAHA🤣🤣
So good
Lmao real
The algorithm is finally starting to get me.
We are so fucking back
I wonder who gave them money
@@thelonewanderer2095The RUclips algorithm
WERE SO BACK
They got that Raid Shadow Legends moneyyy
Fr! And just in time too.
I’m pretty sure this is literally the first time I’ve ever been recommended an Onion video that wasn’t like a decade old.
same
They got bought out and one of the new things their ownership is doing is restarting their video stuff. Excited to see more!
Same
Lol. Same. I thought they died 15 years ago.
Incredible level of detail. This is exactly the type of high quality, invasive journalism I expect from ONN
they did not check the buttcrack of this gentleman swing voter
trumpy stans are gonna get upset
Emphasis on invasive
Vote to protect the babies in the womb!
@GuidelinesViolator Why? It was hilarious. Or are you trying to say that only Trump supporters care about privacy? Your comment makes no sense.
I clicked on this without realizing it was The Onion, and I was thinking, "Wow, they really are getting obsessive over these swing states."
They actually do get weird about swing states though lol
@zerotodona1495 I know right, how many times with touch screen tvs can you look at how in one of 2 ways 7 states can go? There's a finite number of combinations, and they go into do much detail that the onion is only barely exaggerating how much they zoom in to examine even the slightest movement
Wait about 24 hours and see if this still looks like satire....
It is a whole new level of obsessive. They going to have to come up with a new word for it
Omg!! I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit!
I’m one of the lucky few who didn’t know this was a parody channel. At first I was like, “Wow, this new’s channel is surprisingly entertaining…” and then that mf started zooming in and didn’t stop.😂
The first time I picked up The Onion newspaper (yes, it used to be in print) circa 2003-4, I didn’t realize it was a parody until well into the first article!
Same here, at first I thought it was legit news then I see this man’s internal organs like wtf is this
they went and not only doxxed him, but doxxed his thoughts, lifestyle, health, tumor, lungs, ribcage, vascular system, heart, DNA, and source, what did this guy do 😭
twitter leftists be like
@@biqbagel the entirety of twitter be like:
(seriously I haven’t seen a sane person on that website in years)
Maybe he didn't know about the tumor, and is now learning about it on TV. Could've saved his life ngl
@@biqbagelFor every twitter “leftist”, there is literally 100 far right dudes 💀
He remained "undecided"!
"Can we zoom in further than that"
"No"
"Why"
"Because im scared"
I like how THAT's the reason, not because the map can't go further
We heard
😂
Me too Jason, me too
We saw the same video. Why type it out
This right here is peak 2010 onion
they don't make humor like this anymore smh my head
They do, this is a prime example.
“They don’t make humor like this anymore”
-man on a video of them making news link this anymore
Copeland even came back!
@@nebaka12 they literally just made it though...
This is such great coverage. Other networks will talk about what's on our minds on election day but never what's in them. This molecular polling really sets The Onion apart.
Molecular polling 😂😂😂
It's awesome, 1984's big brother is finally surpassed by deepest brother.
every other election coverage tries to predict, onion genetically determines
I respect the Onion for going down the level of the “source” but no further for obviously dangerous and terrifying reasons. They’re the people who push past the barriers of traditional and stale reporting into something new and refreshing.
They went directly to the source, but no further.
I love how comically large the "TV" is. Watching Jason literally hop to tap the top is great.
"Full on damage control after footage leaked of the candidate being extremely rude." That last joke killed me 😂
I don't understand it.
@@Anurania Imagine Trump or his campaign being held to anything resembling a standard of decorum such that "being extremely rude" would require damage control. Now use your one wish (wasted mine on food) to move us all to that timeline please.
@@Anurania Trump is constantly being extremely rude and the campaign doesn't even blink an eye. The joke is that Trump being extremely rude would not prompt any sort of damage control from his campaign, nevermind a "full on" response.
Honestly I expected them to say "after footage leaked of the candidate exhibiting basic human empathy"
@@Dasycottus Even the Onion has to make some of it believable I guess...
I love the fact they ignore the tumor
No, there was a healthcare footnote. 😂
Yeah, healthcare is gonna be a major player this election
@@jonathankkennedy looks like it wasnt
Fun fact: heart cancer is really really REALLY fuckin' rare.
Like, 1 in 100,000 people for tumors rare.
What tumor?
You know what, this is the best I’ve seen from The Onion in a good long time. Did not foresee the ONN RUclips making a big comeback but you might really pull this off.
I'm tearing up. The Onion is back!
Welcome home!
This was brilliantly written and executed! Kudos!
not ruSSia moment
I'm not crying you're crying!
Ahh but at what cost
Took only 14 years
Someone's cutting onions
This one is going to be timeless.
Just curious, why the broccoli 🥦
@@denisia1111 Don't be silly, that's a green cauliflower.
But ultimately, meaningless in the vast expanse of the universe...
@@JRAnalyzes Lol, you got a like from me: green cauliflower is what we call broccoli in our household. Don't ask!
@@JRAnalyzes No Sir that would be a juvenile cauliflower when the icon is clearly a full on adult broccoli. The Curious will remain mysterious.
Clicked because I thought it was just an old video that popped up in my feed, started tearing up when I realized this was published a few hours ago.
I cant tell you how disturbing it is to see an Onion video zoom in to where you live. I literally live in Millcreek. This feels like one of those memes where your family is trying to tell you that you've been in a coma and to wake up.
As a SENTIENT PERSON THAT DEFINITELY ISN'T A CONSTRUCT OF YOUR IMAGINATION, I can tell you existence is not exclusive to you. You do not need to think such thoughts.
We’ve been watching you guys very closely.
How Erie
If you know Nick, could you tell him to vote whoever you don't want to win?
How do you think that guy in a video felt, watching his bedroom
Woke up, saw The Onion posted, watched my hometown AND township get mentioned
Might wanna get that tumor checked
If you know nick, make sure he votes, if he doesn't we may collapse into a singularity.
@@Craig-l5r Also, make sure he gets his heart checked out.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not actually out to get you
I want to know if that address really exists lol
I live in Erie county and grew up in Millcreek township, I never imagined we would be in an onion video, I’m honored 🫡
Why is the district so weirdly shaped?? gerrymandering or a legit reason?
@@kelownatechkid It's a peninsula.
@@kelownatechkidlol
Voted for Hilary in 2016, Trump in 2020... What a psychopath.
yes that ideology makes no sense
None
And will write in Biden in 2024
Given this is an Erieite? doesn't surprise me. We can be stupid and fickle as a collective.
if his current trend continues, the candidate he votes for this year will lose
Did The Onion get some new funding!?!? Is The Onion back? I loved this video. Keep them coming
Yeah, it was sold to new owners earlier in the year.
New ownership as of April 2024. They’re shifting away from the usual news-blog model of hosting scummy clickbait ads and instead adopting an optional-subscription model.
@@Magic_beans_ Ah. So they're still in the burning capital to build a customer base phase.
@@ryuuguu01 - I hope they get past it. I missed this Onion.
@@ryuuguu01 Probably, yeah, an infusion of funding to build hype for the subscription model. I wouldn’t be surprised if after the election they slim it down a bit.
That said, the new owners have said they’re fans of the site. They’re also a single-purpose company as opposed to a conglomerate.
So, SO glad to see Jason Copeland back!!
the only news i trust
It's news without mercy.
Abso F'n lutely!!!
The only news that dives a closer look than any other news channel smh. Thank god we have Big Onion fighting against Big Media on our side
Hey me too. Today now is my fav
"Past the tumor" 😭😭😭
That was my favorite part, I love the delivery.
That part killed me 💀
@@MrZega000💀
Health care going to be really important this election
😰 I was not expecting a hit of PTSD to go with my comedic dopamine.
This has made it easier to me on making a decision, very informative thank you ONN
1:18 that little jump was cherry on top! Geniusssss
It really was. Details like that make such a difference.
Dude, so good
Finally real polling results.
Down to the quantum level and then out to the cosmic perspective.😮😅 classic Onion real time reporting
Good to see you Jason! Welcome back 😃
It's good seeing Mr. Copeland back. I know some people were saying 10 years was far too lenient but he's paid his debt to society and we should all just move on from the unpleasantness
? what happened
@@nirvanaheightsNothing important. We’ve all been locked up for 10 years. People are blowing it out of proportion.
@@nirvanaheights he was an accomplice to the Clifford Banes incident, lets just leave it at that
@@nirvanaheights Try to look forward, not backwards.
@@D2attemp Ah yes, the famous clock tower incident.
As a 3D digital artist I have to say, that 3D animation is actually amazing.
It looks like they took a guy straight out of The Sims though
@@TheCJRhodes more like garrys mod
Yeah I wasn’t impressed by the models; mostly just how well the entire thing is put together. They really had to work to get the map looking clean, and they used so many auxiliary models for the inside of the guy’s body.
I didn't ask for your life story!..geez!!...
1:16 I really enjoy the fleshy sounds as the sections fly apart.
This was absolutely brilliant.
"That is a big map" best way to respond to the depressing tone lol
Could be taken as cheery, too.
Nihilism is a good servant and a poor master.
No I will not elaborate further. Because I'm scared.
Maybe if they zoom out far enough they can figure out those cosmological problems that are puzzling physicists - the ones that Sabine H. (can't spell her last name) is always talking about. I can't keep it all straight and I don't understand any of it (the "dark matter" and what not).
@@Michael-uc2pn Just ask your mom.
@@Michael-uc2pnwait please elaborate, I’m curious
“Past the tumour..”. Priceless.
The healthcare won't be
found the british
Now this is peak Onion.
Hey arent you the guy that does
Oh my god its the guy that does
Something about this guy's entertainment seems pretty generic but I can't quite place it
i remember you! you are the one that does
The does that guy has up showed
This is the only news channel that I trust to give me a precise weather forecast localized entirely within my house.
Is an aurora borealis localized entirely within your kitchen?
May I see it?
@@BonJoviBeatlesLedZep No
They understand voters on a fundemental level.
@@TheJadeFistWell TheJadeFist, you are an odd fellow, but I must say. You steam a good poll
Brilliant work
Kudos to the graphics people on that zooming, and on the anatomical references. I appreciated this spoof on so many levels.
The animation looks like it costs 80 billion dollars (slightly exaggerating). Top production values.
Please bring back the debate.. 'In the Know'!
Great to see Jason Copeland back
@julianvickers i want to know what's Cliffard Bane is up to these days. Hope he still managing to survive all his adventures 🙏🏼
"Filling in for Clifford Baynes, who is currently catching up on fourteen years of popculture he missed out on while stranded on an island in the Indo-Pacific."
Jesus, "in the Known" was liquid gold dripping from RUclips
"But I don't need a dead baby" - Nancy
Omg this is golden
Holy shit, Jason Copeland’s still alive?
WE'RE BACK
He survived the Tea Party, but Andrea did not.
Andrea Bennett is still stuck in the election bunker
@@yannislafond-bensot9901Last I seen she was working at KRON 4 TV in San Francisco, I do hope they can bring her and some of the old cast back.
that correspondent just wanted to be the one to reveal jason's cancer because jason tripped him at lunch one time in middle school
This is so brilliant
Shuddup bot
@witherworld8969 no u
Hey! You're here.
@@CZsWorld Vote kamala to save democracy
I watched your video on Art The Clown. :D
The ONN has been back for a little while now, but this is the first video that has my respect. Keep growing and improving!
Imagine the guy finding out he has a tumor on his heart by watching this. 💀
Unfortunately , neither side wants universal health care unless you're an illegal or Israel
Jason could’ve zoomed in further than that… COWARD 🤬
shoulda gone right to the edge after getting psyched up only to chicken out. Maybe next election
TBF, scientists have determined that all of the pertinent information regarding the source is present in the rings and how they move. Zooming in further is *just* dangerous, it doesn't actually tell you anything.
2bil dollars of equipment ruined for nothing...
Jason is withholding the truth from us.
Jason is the enemy!!😡
Wow. Very interesting coverage.
As soon as he started zooming into the county, I knew where this was going. I did not expect to have an existential crisis towards the end.
One of the BEST Onion bits in years. Well done, everyone.
Well it’s also one of the only. Lol
@@alexgrissom3513nah they post all the time now but it’s been like a different channel entirely. Their hyper-partisanship is getting in the way of their creativity. How many jokes about Trump being racist or sexist can you write? Even for ppl who hate Trump’s guts that gets old
@@anonymousperson6119his guts I have no problem with, but that heart…
That was really an in-depth look. I have never seen such an in-depth look at a voter.
Oh dang it's Jason!! Hell yeah, he's my favorite political analyst!!!
The chemist in me was expecting him to immediately zoom straight to subatomic particles.
the physicist in me was expecting him to zoom on his fundamental strings
that's just a theory tho
They went beyond all that to the "source"
@@jjs8426and they could of gone deeper!
As a violinist I expected them to focus more on string theory
Edit: Oh this was kinda the same joke allready pulled by acidmana… sorry lol
Jason Copeland is back! I remember his coverage of the 2012 election fondly: when he reported on Rodney 2012s cartoon parrot mascot to court the Latino vote, when he reported that social media has made every presidential candidate for the 2040 election unelectable! And when he famously called the “White hot sphere of rage” ticket for the republicans in 2016! It’s great to see him back in the newsroom!
YEAHHHH JASON COPELAND IS BACK!
Hopefully Clifford Banes comes back too
The little awkward hop he had to do to zoom in on the brain has me in stitches.
This will be a banger every 4 years
Another daily helping of eyewatering truth. Thank you, The Onion
I needed this spiritually
Even after the election over I hope we keep getting Onion videos. Funniest thing I see all day.
The one good thing about Trump winning is that they will have A LOT of material.
@@TintelinusExpect it feels like we all age 10 Years for every year he was President.
Wanna earn some extra cash?
Start a pool in your office as to when the Harris/Walz honeymoon will end.
I'm optimistic that they'll defeat the pumpkin and his vacuous bearded sidekick, but reality is reality...
You can't please all the people all the time...
Freaking hilarious!!! I love his jumping to reach the high spots on the board.
Hilarious and existential. Thanks ONN.
hell yeah. keep peelin' it.
Best electoral vote touch screen map zooming I've ever seen. Take that, mainstream media.
This is peak. Thank you, Onion.
Jason has returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is somehow both what I expected when I clicked on this video and also an absolutely insane surprise
I'm so glad y'all are making videos again
This is the only media outlet I go to for my news.
you love to see the return of Jason.
Can’t wait for Clifford Banes to finally come back
@@warlordofbritanniaOr Julliana Mcanis filling in for Cliford Banes, who messed with the wrong people and got involved in some serious shit.
just waiting for today now to come back now, im sure jim haggerty has recovered by now 🙏🙏
I'm still waiting for the Jedi myself.
"its got the lungs"
Not for long
Thank you Jason
Whoever wrote this, make them write future ones
Don’t worry! They’re way ahead of you.
The writer’s chair has straps.
@@SigFigNewton Unfortunately, it also had electricity. That mistake won't happen twice!
I lend my voice to the chorus of “welcome back Jason copeland”! I’ve missed you 😊
This is awesome welcome back the Onion !!!
You guys have outdone yourselves. Best one yet!
No way Jason Copeland is back
When are we getting to the nads?
Future votes do not impact the present election cycle until after the McFly Incident of 2120.
I knew it was coming, but when he zoomed into the bedroom I almost died 😂
JASON COPELAND RETURNS!
See, graphics designers? You don’t need to be flat to be modern! This looks great!
Exactly!!!!
I am not a graphic designer but I will take your words in support as an IBTC member.
@@KasumiRINA according to certain members of a demographic with an intense interest in Japanese entertainment, I've heard it said that flat is, in fact, justice
this is brilliant
Absolutely amazing breakdown by ONN
Glad you came back!!!
This is exactly what I needed to watch.
This is classic onion "Ninja Parade" levels of hilarious and just what I needed thank you ONN!
I knew what the joke was gonna be when they started zooming, but god I loved it
“the”
Oh Onion. You have made us proud, and lol!
Brilliant. Much enjoyed 💙💯
Jason!!!!
I prayed for this version of the Onion to return 🙏🏾
Our prayers are answered!
Hey neat! Good to see Jason is still around!
Very well done, appreciate this video!
I hope we all know that it doesn't matter who is in the 'top job' because this is a systemic problem -- greed. We have allowed many of our economic sectors, to take advantage of the American people. It's disgusting and frightening for the future of our country. My wife and I will be retiring in the next two years n another country. We are absolutely worried that SSI will no longer be funded. we'll have to rely on my pension, a 403 (b) and a very prolific lnvestment account with my Abby Joseph Cohen my FA. Our national debt is bloating and expanding every month.
I went from no money to lnvest with to busting my A** off on Uber eats for four months to raise about $20k to start trading with Abby Joseph Cohen. I am at $128k right now and LOVING that you have to bring this up here
How can i reach this Abby Joseph Cohen, if you don't mind me asking? I've known her by her reputation at Goldman Sachs
@@JobanyMilitoWell her name is 'ABBY JOSEPH COHEN SERVICES'. Just research the name. You'd find necessary details to set up an appointment.
Abby Joseph Cohen Services has really set the standard for others to follow, we love her here in Canada 🇨🇦 as she has been really helpful and changed lots of life's
The very first time we tried, we invested $7000 and after a week, we received $9500. That really helped us a lot to pay up our bills.
"I'm Dwight Richmond filling in for Clifford Banes, who is currently stuck in traffic atop the Himalayas."
Also JASON COPELAND is back?!?!?!
Amazing content as always!
We even have Jason Copeland back. We are so back
Just when we need them the most, ONN has our back
Fantastic writing. Thanks for sharing.
holy shit, the onion videos are back? lets gooooo
My main concern is how to survive all of these financial and political crises, especially in light of the US political power scuffle. The government has really called things more difficult for its citizens,but l thank God that I'm favoured with $186,000 every month! I can now give back to the locals in my community and also support God's work and the church without waiting for the government.God bless America.
Excuse me for real?, how is that ? I have been struggling financially. How was that possible?
What is it you do?
Oh, yeah. I was able to achieve that with the help of my coach /Mrs Sandra Maria Ferraguti❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
She's a licensed broker and successful
entrepreneur from the state.
Her top-notch guidance and expertise on
digital market changed the game for me.
Bravo for the sheer amount of detail you guys put into this