I Regret Freezing My Eggs (a 2-year reflection)
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- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
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I share my experience and regrets about freezing my eggs two years ago while working full-time in New York City. If you are wondering "Should I freeze my eggs," I hope this video provides one perspective. Stay healthy!
Your feedback helps me improve. Please share your thoughts via comment or email: all4yoojin@gmail.com
Chapters
00:00 Intro
00:22 Why I froze my eggs in NYC at 30
01:39 Egg freezing process overview
04:12 Cost
04:34 Why I regret freezing my eggs
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To those who have gone through egg freezing, is currently considering, or decided not to, I along with others would love to hear from you! What was going through your heart and mind as you thought about this? Please share as your comments not only help me but other women too!
I would say, to increase your chances of finding a partner, change your hair and your style, a longer hair and no fringe may help you look younger, use makeup and dress well, don't be afraid to be a little bit less conservative outwardly. You seem very intelligent and kind so all you need to work on is appearance, not so hard for you as you are beautiful already, make the most of it. ❤
Wow I just read you are 32, still young!! Don't dress like old lady. If its comfortable, embrace more west-like outfit and hair styles
@@ClaudiaM-om4em How the heck did you assume she's looking for advice?
@@grasweg3 why would it be wrong? You could come at me if the advice given is harmful or wrong, but I don't mean no harm. If you feel combative when someone gives you advice, you know subconsciously their advice is true and it bothers you because of your pride. Also she is very pretty and seems very nice. She says she is having a hard time dating. Women should uplift women
@@all4yoojin I always thought I was super fertile but life happens. People tell me, oh you’re so young, it will happen one day and it’s very sweet of them but some things are out of your control no matter how hard you try.
I went through my 20s being sure I was going to freeze my eggs and become a mother as late as biologically possible. I’m going to turn 30 next year, just quit my high paying corporate job to make a transatlantic move to study something creative, and now I don’t want to freeze my eggs anymore.
I realized my desire to freeze my eggs came from fear. I didn’t trust that my future partner could be reliable so I wanted to grow my assets as big as possible before getting kids. I somehow had this thought that I had to have it all figured out before becoming a mom, and I guess it was because I didn’t trust in my ability to deal with situations that arises after giving birth one step at a time, which essentially is how life always has been and always will be. This fear also pressured me to prioritize survival and wealth accumulation (which I wasn’t even good at lol) rather than choosing a career path that I felt truly happy with.
Now I let go of a lot of these fear and am much happier. Sure, I may or may not be able to conceive naturally in the future. While I would still love to have children, I now just decided that if it happens, great, and if not, I’ll still find a way to be happy and be a great aunt. But I realized that stressing over the future is what would drive my egg quality down early on anyways, and the best thing I could do for myself and my future family is to enjoy my present life and take a pristine care of my physical, mental and spiritual health right here right now.
Thank you so much for your refreshing thoughts, Yoojin. Much appreciated.
This.
Some of us go the opposite of "care free" and get anxious about the future.
We can only count our blessings and live and love authentically at the moment 😊 (is not always a romantic partner but something that gives our lives meaning like friends or family)
I honestly related so much to this. I have been down the exact same path & am just now trying to live one day at a time & not fret about having everything "together" before entering the next chapter of life (marriage, family, etc.) Wishing you all the best on your journey
Quality of eggs lowers with age, not by stressing about future. I am a man in his late thirties going through surrogacy and our agency only offered egg donors in their early twenties which is correct way because their eggs are most healthy. A surrogate can be over thirty but the genetic material is crucial for successful process. It's a cold fact unfortunately.. I wish everyone success and happiness.
@leoprg5330 it's totally correct to say that egg (and sperm) quality decline with age, but the rate of decline is dependent on many factors, one of which *could be* stress.
Hoping on a successful surrogacy journey for you
Your comment is like you were reading my mind, that’s exactly how I feel thank you so so so much for your perfect articulated comment 💖💖💖
Thank you for telling your experience. In my case, I would have loved to be a mother at 30. But when I reached 35 and still couldn't find the right person, I preferred to freeze my oocytes because I began to feel like I was in a race against time. Now at 37 I do feel like I found the right person and we will surely start trying soon. In my family there are many cases of infertility and I know it can break your heart, if I try and fail at least I will rest assured that I did everything I could within my power, I have no regrets.
The problem is that you believe that Hollywood BS that there is a "right person" there is no right person we all are full of flaws...ones should lower his standards and settles when the minimum requirements are there....
@@mizoyarol9873 you’re missing the point, because there are definitely wrong person lol so a person is wrong if they are not the right person. No one said they need to be this Mr.Perfect, but just the minimal good, which has proven to be difficult to come by.
@@mizoyarol9873 On the contrary, if you do not want to have a child alone, it is necessary to find the right father for your future child. I had many relationships with men who appeared and disappeared. I even think I had very low standards because I was always with men who didn't value me. I met my fiance 3 years ago, he is an emotionally mature, stable man who knows what he wants, with him I feel safe having a child, we are going to get married in November. Exactly what Hollywood sells you are toxic relationships, what we have is love, friendship and companionship. I love him and dream of making our family. Never lower your standards!
On the contrary, if you do not want to have a child alone, it is necessary to find the right father for your future child. I had many relationships with men who were not reliable o didnt want to have kids, its not easy. I even think I had very low standards because I was always with men who didn't value me. I met my fiance 3 years ago, he is an emotionally mature, stable man who knows what he wants, with him I feel safe having a child, we are going to get married in November. What Hollywood sells you are toxic relationships, what we have is love, friendship and companionship. Never lower your standards!
As someone who became a mother at 27 (I'm now 29)- I can say that having children later in life is more difficult because of the lack of energy, among other things.
My father had my 3-year old brother at 51 and when my brother is 18 my father will be 70. My brother is half-Japanese so I expect that he will fall in-line with Japanese culture (they all live there) and he will have to care for my elderly father the moment he becomes old enough to live his life. A selfish choice. And the wife had my brother at 38 and she struggles to keep up with such an energetic child.
I wanted to start a family at 15. I still wish I had the opportunity to do so.
It sucks being an older mom.
as a gym freak I thought am in a grave danger for refrigerating my boiled eggs ....and few minutes into the video I realized this not about "the eggs".🙃
Lolol wrong video😂
I thought it's a skit video about she got poisoned because consuming eggs from the fridge 😂
Not a gym freak nor a gym person at all, but I would agree that there needs to be a lil more detail than just "frozen eggs", lol.
🤣🤣🤣
Hahaha 😂 your comment made me chuckle. Your boiled eggs are safe!! Stay healthy and have a great weekend
I froze my eggs at 36 and finally had children at 41. I couldn’t carry them on my own though. Egg freezing only buys you a few years. It also left me with a pelvic infection which resulted in 3 surgeries over 3 months, leaving me scarred, infertile and one less ovary at 36.
Looking back, it’s hard to pinpoint which decision led me here. I spent too much time in bad relationships and getting over them. When there were good ones, I chose to relocate for better career opportunities. It takes 2-3 years to nurture a serious relationship. In hindsight, one can only do that many in her “prime”. It was stressful to continue risk breaking my heart and date in my mid and late thirties when men at the same age just didn’t share the same concerns. While I did pull it off, I’m considered the lucky few among my friends.
I’m really happy and grateful to have my family now. I just wish I could enjoy that sooner. All those travels I had and the papers I publish, they don’t compare at all.
Wow seriously 2-3 years🤣my great grandparents met one day on the factory and were married within a week. Had 4 children, survived WWI, WWII and lived together until their death. There is huge mental problem with modern generation 🙄
@@hardshell9236 your folks were raised in a completely different world, can't be compared with the times today, their homes were $50 also lol
@@hardshell9236 Seems like whatever generation you're from lacks empathy and decorum. Not everyone wants to decide to get married and have kids within a week of meeting, and it's not sound advice to tell people to do so either.
Hey, I am so happy for you that you have a family now. I agree with you, I also made expensive decisions that affected my health and I also wish I had met my husband earlier and not at 39.
I am 34 and I froze mine 6 months ago. You are the first person I have heard say that they regret it, quite surprising. I had no weight gain, just bloating for about 7-10 days. I had no issues with muscle loss etc, I have a friend who done it one year ago. She also has no regrets or had issues with weight gain. The only hard time I had was taking the pill for a week. It didn’t make me feel good and it makes you bleed, and then your period comes straight after you stop taking it so I felt like I was bleeding for forever. Otherwise everything was fine.
Hey! Happy to hear that your egg freezing journey went well. Maybe I overate thinking that I should treat myself during the period hahaha. Sorry to hear the bleeding was rough though… I think the side effects hit differently for everyone. It’s been 3 years since freezing my eggs and my feelings toward the experience haven’t changed much. Probably won’t do it again😂
My bestfriend had her eggs frozen at 30 and afterwards struggled with weight issues for a while
Omg that sounds bad. I'm 35 and pondering freezing but dunno, it's an expense and I'm not sure I even want kids. I'm just thinking maybe at some point within the next 15 years I might change my mind
I just think some people need to weigh up what’s more important to them, potentially gaining weight or having the option to have children for the future. I know what I would pick, even if I am not sure I want children. If I have the privilege of being able to afford it I wouldn’t miss this chance, and I will never regret this. My sister will do egg freezing next month.
I don't regret it. I had it done in 1998, 2 cycles, when I was 35. With the technology of the time, they had to be fertilized 1st. It was not something I had ever heard of anyone doing before, and it certainly wasn't being advertised. I just knew that I wanted to preserve my reproductive options. Money wasn't an issue, as I had recently gotten a substantial inheritance.
This wasn't about pursuing a career. More about getting my head together.
In any event, it was successful on the 1st try, and I now have 15 year old twins.
In general I think it's a good idea to keep your options open if you're in a position to do so.
Wow, that's so interesting that they had to be fertilized first! Did you use a sperm donor for that?
@h-di4qd They didn't have the technology to freeze unfertilized eggs effectively until some years later, so yeah, I used donor sperm from California Cryobank.
There have been a lot of changes in the technology and protocols in the last 26 years. I'm happy to answer any questions.😁
so your kids are technically chronologically 26 then?
@aaa-my5xy Well, they were conceived in Nov of 1998 (my 2nd cycle) so a little less than 26 years ago, and that's conception without adding in gestation, so something between 24 and 25?
Anyway, I've heard of I've heard of children being born from donor embryos who were actually conceived before their parents were.
Kind of strange to contemplate.
@@crunchyfrog63 woah, science is crazy!! thank you for sharing your experience! congratulations on your twins
I totally get why you did it. When I was 29, my biological clock was screaming at me so loud that even though we weren’t in the best financial position with my partner, we had our 2 children in quick succession, I was 30 and 31 when they were born, my now husband a couple of years older.
Yes it was more difficult financially than if we waited longer.. but no regrets because children need so much energy, it’s not just the question of being fertile, but can you be an active parent and take part in their childhood without struggling due to your age.
I'm glad you had your children, may they always bring you joy. Can u please explain what u mean by "my biological clock was screaming at me"?
@@SaraGasmi-tr4so the way I felt that my biological clock was screaming at me was that I was very aware that I’m running out of time at close to 30, so if I wanted multiple healthy children, I have to hurry up and have them ASAP. I also didn’t want to have them as an older mother, because even if conception isn’t a problem, pregnancy complications are more common as someone ages.
Glad to hear you feel that you made the right choice. The biological clock is real. I never got the feeling of " my body clock screaming" but I remember vividly the strong desire to hug every cute babies I saw.... I dis know I was 4 weeks pregnant already. We can't stop that instinct.
29 is still so very young. As society has done a number on women.
@@SaraGasmi-tr4so i can explain it also. Mine was screaming at me at the ripe young age of 22. It was a desperate innate, internal, animalistic desire to have and raise children. The only thing i can compare it to is being hungry and desperate for food. It was some kind of deep and instinctual need.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Although I’m a guy I’ve also been in a similar mindset. I’m worried about dating, work and family, and how to juggle it all. I’m very aware of the “clock” that we’re all on, my ex-girlfriend was 33 when we broke up and our parents are getting older too. I had briefly discussed egg freezing, she dismissed it in the end. Nothing to do with breaking up, things just didn’t work out. And just like you said, fertility treatments are like a stock, nothing is guaranteed.
I’m turning 40 in 10 days. I hope I’ll be a good husband to my future wife, a good father to my future children. At least I can continue to try to be a good son and take care of my parents.
Surprising how many people go through the same struggles, but still it doesn't help and dating is so hard. Probably now the world is more individualistic, people communicate less.
I'm a woman of 38, I broke up with my bf couple of years ago because he didn't want to have children. And now I'm single, still no children 😅
Welp, u guys are a match then! 😆
Happy birthday and like the previous person commented you too might be an option for one another. All the best !!!
🔥🔥🔥🔥
@@user-ns7xr5fq1i Sperm donor?
My IVF journey started when l was 35 as a single woman with donor sperm. I had 6 failed blastocyst implantation cycles. l had my 2 children by IVF at ages 37, my 7th cycle and 39, my 8th cycle.
A woman's fertility naturally drops markedly by 30 years of age, significantly drops from 35 and thereafter to less than 1% by age 40.
If you're worried about gaining weight before pregnancy, you'll find pregnancy quite challenging.
There isn't a guarantee that an egg will fertilise and grow into a blastocyst (5 days post fertlisation). There isn't a guarantee that the implanted blastocyst will stick to the uterine wall.
There isn't a guarantee that you won't miscarry.
Freezing eggs is a gamble. IVF is a gamble.
Parenthood is a gamble.
Not exactly true. Women at 45 have a 3% chance of conception but 90% of eggs are abnormal.
@@user-jy6vp1zm9m Even if 3% chance of conception at 45, that's 97% chance of not conceiving per month. Odds are stacked against conception and a healthy baby.
Freezing eggs is just one component of IVF. Current statistics are:
Women's age and IVF
It's a common misconception that IVF treatment can overcome the effects of age on fertility. A woman's age also affects the chance of success with IVF. In Australia, the chance of a live birth from one complete IVF cycle (which includes all fresh and frozen-thawed embryo transfers following one ovarian stimulation) is about:
43% for women aged 30 to 34 years
31% for women aged 35 to 39 years
11% for women aged 40 to 44 years.
Life without kids is much better. Why torture yourself for such a questionable "prize"?
@@KateeAngel lf you don't want kids, don't have them. Not everyone is suited to the lifestyle and sacrifice.
I always knew that l wanted to be a parent even from young adulthood.
Be true to yourself.
God! How did you survive that many cycles. I tried 3 cycles without success and quit.
As a 35 years old I really want to freeze my eggs but I think I will never use them if I don’t have husband anyway.
Same. Single, I’m in my 30s and yeah I won’t be freezing anything or getting married any time soon.
Don’t freeze them. It’s not a risk free procedure. Look upthread! It can even cause the loss of ovaries
If you find someone later and can’t have kids…just adopt. A lot of kids need to find parents but no one takes them in.
Actually even if you don’t find a partner, you can adopt and raise them as a single parent.
@@blueshoes5145My mom wanted to adopt but they want 2 parent home (she was married so no issue there) and she was too old for it (almost 50). She had place and money but it was not enough.
@@blueshoes5145You are very right, adopting is wonderful, the bad thing is that, at least in my country, it is super difficult, the authorities ask for a lot of procedures and requirements; almost no one achieves it.
I froze my eggs at 36. It had no impact on me. No fat gain, no infection, no pain, nothing. I am now 39 and pregnant naturally. I don't regret at all. It give me a piece of mind. That I had a plan b, if.my plan a would fail. I also live in Canada and only paid 4000 $ cad.
I am a little shocked that she mentioned how much she paid. Many large companies cover it. My company covers IVF entirely in the US beyond regular medical benefits.
Childless, infertile and never wanted children and I will never do. I am extremely happy with my decision. Zero regrets.
You said you never wanted so why should there be any regrets? ❤
evolutionary dead-end
@@pirata-xw4on That's the point, people have it here. I don't. End of story. :*
@@pirata-xw4onsociety tends to tell us we will regret not having kids. My daughter doesn’t want kids at all and she gets so much flack for it.
@@alexacarrillo4339 I guess is because you can’t have it whenever you want! There’s a time limit. And it is natural for a woman to have kids. Now, I admire when someone knows they don’t want kids and they look after themselves to not get pregnant! I have two and when I asked to get sterilised, I got laughed at! And I am 30. We are not there yet in terms of listening to women when it comes to our bodies!
Omg thank you! I need this sort of encouragement. I used to be in nyc. Terrible dating scene. I’m a single, driven, successful, and talented 35 yr old but I’m probably not going to freeze my eggs. Same as what you said. Would rather put this money into traveling and having fun. I recently went to OBGYN for check up and I was told to get an egg freezing consultation. I think there might be some incentive for doctors. After all fertility clinics are profit driven. 😅
For someone like you I cannot think in a single place on earth where the dating scene would be good for you.
If NYC is bad what other cities do you think would be good for you?
Oh goodness. I don't think it's bad to focus on travel and such instead of a costly, time-consuming, and somewhat invasive process that may or may not give good results in the future. No disregard for anyone who does freeze their eggs, I promise.
You could do a lot of traveling for $26,000. In fact, you could do a lot of just about anything more fun for $26,000. And potentially meet a husband to actually have the kids with instead...because you're out of NYC then. There are decent guys out there. I'm pretty sure they exist. The trick is finding them because actually the dating process is terrible everywhere else too.
As a woman over 40 I regret putting other things first than creating a family and having children.
thanks for sharing your thoughts
Why is that? And what did you prioritise over starting a family? Asking as a girl in her 20s😭
@@yourbestie702 I was trying to show the world I was an independent woman. Unfortunately this type of mentality sometimes gets you involved in bad relationships (men that don't want any commitment) also I assumed I was super fertil and I took contraceptive pills which masked endometriosis symptoms. When I finally got married with a great man didn't know I had endometriosis. It took a few years to get diagnosed... too late 😪..
@@yourbestie702 it seems YT deleted my reply. I was trying to show the world I was an independent woman. I assumed I was super fertil and birth control masked endometriosis symptoms which I found out too late.
Sorry to hear that. I want to point out that many single women in their 30s have been searching but just not found the right person. There's a common social misconception that if a woman has reached 30ish unattached, she's been putting other things first before having a family. In my case I spent my entire 20s trying to find someone, knowing I wanted a family. It's a mixed bag and I just wanted to remind wider audiences of this -- women cannot make a husband and children appear in their 20s just because they want to.
I will still rather do it than not. Peace of mind is priceless. 🙏🏽💖
That’s a good point, Gail! I definitely became “lazy” when it comes to dating😂 haha. Definitely feel less pressured!
I am single at 35 and no eggs frozen either
I hope you know that you are not alone. Stay healthy❣ in the end, that's all that matters
I was 35 when I got mine done. It's certainly not too late. Got pregnant with my twins ten years later.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I am recently married, and 33 years old. The thought of having a child at this stage makes me feel scared because there is so much I want to do before having children. But at the same time, I have the fear that as I age, I may go through the pain that my friends went through, struggling to bear children.
You’re 33! You lived 33 years of your life! You have to choose what’s more important! Maternity will not wait for you!
I am feeling the same! I feel like a few years of our "do what you want!" years were robbed due to the pandemic and now we are at the age to have kids.
I'm taking notes from relatives a few steps ahead of us to build a support system that will help us do some of the things we wanted to do pre-kids, even after we have kids, if blessed.
Life doesn't have to stop when you have kids! Please don't wait if you don't need to.
my cousin just had a beutifull baby girl at 42, and the husband is like 54, you have time, you just need to keep very healthy, and your partner too
that's a huge age gap, i hope she's really happy with him and not just took him out of desperation or low self worth
@@mothmos That's completely irrelevant from the video and the point of the comment.
@@joshy2joshy huh? not every comment has to do with the point of video? i think you're just triggered by my comment. the original comment shared that their cousin 42 yrs old married a 12 yr older dude. and i just said i hope she did not take the 54 yr old dude out of desperation and low self worth? is there anything wrong? why are u triggered?
Please also think about being parents so late. Im 35, My Mother died 10 years ago, my father is 90 too old to be an active father. I struggle feeling like an orphan.
@mothmos yeah and personally being a woman in her late 20s and having old parents kind sucks.my dad is in his late 70s and my mom is in her mid-60s.I don't think people consider the position that puts thier kids in.
I have a military nurse friend that tells me that many of the kids that arrive at her hospital were concieved with this sort of processes
What, they get more sick?
That’s complete lie. You don’t give that kind of info to a nurse lol
@@yaninad5766 yeah I am curious to this too. How does a doctor or a nurse know this
That's a lie. There is no way for your military nurse friend to know
@@canesugar911 Well I don´t know how she knows it really but I do not doubt it, she did told me the women were older and the boys usually have more problems than usual, get sick more often and etc
This is incredibly insightful. Thank you for taking the time to revisit and reflect on your decisions and sharing them. Oftentimes we see people going through with it because that’s what society is selling at the moment without really thinking about what are we buying?
I think there's a huge problem in our society with relationships and friendships. No one cares about anyone else, no one wants commitment, people prioritise moving for work to their relationships and it's just part of the propaganda that modern media sell to us of being strong individualistic people that focus mainly on their careers and their personal growth. We all believed it, and are ending up isolated and depressed.
I believed this too when I was younger, but at 22 I met an amazing man, and within a year or so my mind was changed. Nothing would be more important than my relationship with this person, no job, no opportunity, nothing. Nothing ever felt as fulfilling as feeling completely understood and loved by someone and loving them back in the same way. In the last years we've moved together and adopted a dog, and again, it gives me so much purpose. Having a small creature to take care of, which loves me, which needs me to guide her and to grow, it's the most fulfilling job I've ever had. I imagine actual maternity is an expanded version of what I feel with my dog.
This doesn't mean that I would completely ditch my career, there's also playschools and later schools, grandparents etc. But I think that coming back to a loving family is the most fulfilling thing ever, and it should be prioritised over getting the best job, the highest pay or whatever promotion. My mother always prioritised her work over her family, and she ended up divorced and having huge relationship problems with me, her only child, now she doesn't want to get retired at 65, cause what is left otherwise? Unfortunately, days and life in general have a limited amount of time and you have to set priorities and choose, most people can't manage to have everything to the perfect level they would desire.
You’re certainly inspiring. I came for the business school admissions tips and stayed because of your personality. Interesting how we have very different views about something, but I still can seat trough your whole talk. Good luck with the freezing! And hope NYC is treating you well 🙂
Aww thank you kindly, tay! This video was the one I was most nervous about posting and I appreciate your open mind. Best of luck with your business school application!! 🙏
@@all4yoojin I bet it was nerve wrecking. Nevertheless you did an awesome job 👏 you’re a great story teller, will keep learning from you for my future videos. Thanks 🙏 Don’t want to go back to PKU Guanghua so my targets better accept me haha
I’m 37yo asian and keep my eggs frezzed 5 years ago.
Recently, I realized my AMH test was dropped to 1.8 (normal women’s has >2.0).It also means my egg is reduced monthly.
However, I’m still single and I’m happy to be single. I too old to change myself to fit any guy out there. And I don’t want to be single mom, who choice to delete my child’s dad from their life.
I have to pay alot for keep my egg freeze for… I don’t even know for what.
But, If I had a second choice, I still decided to keep freezing my egg. Because the world is so hard for women. If I losing giving birth ability, It means I would not be treated like a normal woman. I don’t want that feeling.
And who knows, I would change my mind in future or my child’dad will appear soon!
actually the world is super easy for women, society's lies and evil ideologies make it hard.
Haven't watched the rest but remember a story of someone who froze her eggs, and discover they were unviable years later.
It's still better to freeze fertilized eggs.
That's sad. Also heard a story of a woman's eggs or embryos being dropped and getting destroyed by accident. That is so heartbreaking.
Thank you for this video and for your honest perspective. In my 30s, many people were pressuring me to freeze my eggs. There was no thought given to what this would do to me, physically and emotionally, not to mention the cost. I never had it done, for religious reasons but also because I never liked the idea of injecting hormones into my body and I didn't have that kind of money at the time. I met my husband at 38 and just got married at 40. We're trying for a baby now and im at peace with the possibility of it not happening for us. It's great that there are more options for women now, but just because a reproductive technology is out there, it doesn't mean it'll be right for every woman.
you have such an amazing way of expressing ideas, very engaging, thank you!
Thank you, Mr. Mellow! I appreciate you being open-minded and listening🙌
Love your honest review of your journey, as we all need to know the pros and cons ❤❤❤
Very thoughtful and interesting video, thanks!
amazingly done video thank you so much! doing my 2nd ER this summer
yayy!! best of luck
Interesting to hear different opinions about egg freezing. RUclips’s algorithm has been suggesting so many egg freezing videos to me. I’m 27 years old and I want 2-4 kids. I am thinking about freezing my eggs so I don’t not have to rush having them. First I would like to enjoy and travel with my boyfriend, get married, and save up a bit before I have kids. I think by freezing my eggs it will buy me some time, and even allow for me to maybe stay at home with them. My bf is financially stable and I think if i push back having kids for a few years he believes that he can afford to keep me home taking care of the kids. I hope everything goes well for me, and same to you!
I am absolutely grateful to have seen this story.
It is a difficult situation either way. Truly.
None can ever truly know how much the journey alongside life will mark us finitely nor permanently. Thank You for sharing your time and Story.
I’m glad to have stopped in and heard it. Very well done. Be Well ❤
Thank you so so much for this honest video! Good luck with everything 😊
Thanks for listening, Vasiliki! I appreciate your kind words🙏🥹 have a restful weekend
You seem like a good and focused person, in the current society is really tricky to obtain a suitable partner I wish you the best
I'm 34 and I never considered freezing my eggs. I think I only wanted to be a mom when I was a kid, and that feeling only diminished over the years. I also have no patience for dating anymore. I'm actually more at peace being single than when I dated. And I really like my life the way it is.
I think freezing eggs makes total biological sense; I froze mine twice (had 2 cycles) when i was 32 yo, now I'm 36; last 4 years were as stressful as it gets, I'm glad I do not need to freak myself out about the quality of my eggs. Now, I might use in couple years; huge problem is the cost of the procedure in the USA, it's 10k+ per cycle; I did it twice in Barcelona for 5k and it included 4 years of storage of each batch, so 1 cycle + 4 years of storage was only 2500, which is very accessible in my opinion.
Wow thanks for this tip. 26k is a lot. Beyond the reach for most .
thanks for sharing. Very informative!
Glad you found it helpful! Stay healthy🙏
loved the honesty
Thank you, Krista! 🙏
My mom is pressuring me to have kid using surrogate since there's no way I'll want to get pregnant myself. I chose to be childfree 20+ years ago (I'm 44 now). She threatened not to give me inheritance if I don't want to do egg retrieval. My in-law is the same, if I don't produce biological kid, there'll be no inheritance for me. I was torn to give in to the idea, as long as I don't have to take care of the kids, but your video makes me realize that I can gain weight & that there're some other side effects. Thanks for making me realize that I don't need to sell my life for money.
Wow, I do not mean to be disrespectful but these are horrible families… how can the pressure you into something you do not want? That must be a cultural thing I assume…
Thank you for sharing! This is really helpful
This is so refreshing! Thank you.
Thanks so much for sharing this ❤
You seem very self reflective. You need someone similar. Write 3 of the most important things you want in a partner. I can show the math of it but more than 5 items make the search impossible because you can’t hope to meet more than 3000 or so people
Hey again Buh! I feel like I now look for only one thing in a partner haha. Until this person (is he alive?!) shows up in my life, I'll enjoy living and produce more videos hehe
@@all4yoojin that’s a really good idea actually because eventually you will attract people who will resonate with your videos
This was such a great video!!! Thank you from a 28 year old who hasn't found someone yet and thinks about this a lot!! Very informative!
so honest!my best friend froze her eggs in here 30's too.she gave birth to a kid at 40 so now she has some spare eggs.when you share about the body changes,So Real.really grateful this option is available for ppl before they start chemo.May you stay healthy! enjoying your channel.
Thank you so so much for this perfect video and your explanations 💖💖💖
My problem is i have really bad anxiety that kept me from dating and forming any type of relationship. I just turned 29 and i have been thinking of my fertility lately, my parents have been telling to get married and have children for 4 years now but the idea of having sex really scares me and disgusting to me, some days i want a kid because i am afraid i will regeret it when it is too late 🙃 and other days i don't. I just want have a kid and get it over with, but i have to start socializing first, and that is the hard part. I can close my eyes and just do it, but it is the social aspect of meeting people that i am having a hard time with. So i have been thinking about freezing my eggs
I hope you will find your answers maybe try to socialize a little bit first going to activities etc first short time things and then built from there and see how it goes and maybe trying therapy meanwhile if you can it may help 💖
If you do want kids, you don't have to have sex to do it - there's a few people I've heard of who conceived through going to a fertility clinic and getting IUI. But some countries won't let single women access this (so research what the rules are in your own country and consider going abroad for treatment if not).
I just randomly stumbled upon your video, but wow....what a poignant, deep and honest sharing. So many young women need to hear this.... at least I hope they do. Thank you for putting this out there.
Ive read testimonials of women who had their period return after doing yoga, changing their diet, taking supplements, and after detoxing. Janet jackson had a baby boy at 50. Even if you speak with nurses, women giving birth after 50 isnt ultra rare. Seems the health of the body is more important to fertility than more people realize
No it's ultra rare. Some women's eggs aren't viable even in their late 30s. It is an individual thing. 😢
@meln4214 you maybe right. But I wouldn't be surprised. Many times in science, we've said stuff like "the brain doesn't grow new neurons after age xx, limbs can't be regrown, spinal cord injury is permanent, etc..." but there are always exceptions. There are documented cases of kids regrowing a new thumb. The body is more plastic an amazing then we probably are aware.
Wow love the idea to put the video on to not feel alone!
Thank you, its really interesting thoughts
Thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you for frankly sharing your experience.
Super helpful!
Thank you! Good luck on your journey wherever you are.
I have always been child free, even since I was a child myself. But in my late teens / early 20's I thought of selling my eggs as well. I found out that because I'm adopted, they don't accept eggs from adoptees. But I also like you, still thought about the process and wondered if I should do it for myself. Maybe even have them frozen and then let someone adopt the eggs. ultimately, I decided not to because of the health risks - esp the increased possibility of cancer. my adoptive Mom has had breast cancer on and off for 3 decades and it's been horrible seeing what she's had to go through all these years. thanks for making this video that talks about egg freezing issues that most people don't mention!
Thank you so much for sharing
Thank you for the honest account. This sounds quite bad. It's time people wake up to realize that 30 is not the new 20. 30 is still 30.
You are right. 30 is not the new 20. There's a book that I really enjoyed by Meg Jay (The Defining Decade) and it resonated with me. Thank you for listening, Kerim!
@@all4yoojin I liked it too. Your video reminded me of the book!
@@all4yoojin I read that book in my 20s and it ruined me… I was already successful & it just made me get in my head
I think there’s a balance bc it’s important to know the facts, but I don’t care for fear mongering esp towards women
Real science shows fertility declines only after 38-40 years old. Why are you talking about 30 years old as if that's old? If woman has fertility problems at 30, most likely she also had those at 20, she just didn't know about it cause she didn't try to become pregnant back then.
My mom gave birth to me at 41, with no IVF or bad side effects. And that is not rare.
In fact, in countries, where fertility is the highest cause women have kids up until menopause, amount of kids born after 40 is very high
Yes but knowing that still wont help me find a good partner.
Thanks for sharing ❤
Hope it was helpful! Thanks for stopping by 🥰
Wow. I had egg freezing in my mind recently but not seriously as I am not in the emotional space right now.
I loved your video, it's so informative so i will share it.
Please ignore the nasty woman blaming comments.
I understand just how hard dating is when you are waiting until marriage.
Yoo looked so beautiful with long hair ❤
I did it because I had to go through chemotherapy, in my case it was a necessity i’m not sure if I’ll ever going to use it because I have other problems with conceiving, but it gaves me that sense of reassurance which I paid a lot to have it
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for listening 🙏 enjoy the rest of your weekend
I'm 37 and probably too old for egg freezing but honestly I never cared for it. Fertility is an expensive business and I'm not rich enough to afford it. If it doesn't happen for me when I finally meet the right man, then so be it. I'll figure something out.
I’m obsessed with your shirt ❤ Where did you get it from?
A brave, interesting, and informative video. I never seriously considered freezing my eggs. I met the my husband in college when I was 20, we got married when I was 33 and had our first kid at 34. I'm hoping to have a second, final baby in the next year, but I feel like even that is tempting fate. My friends having babies in their late 30s recently had to use IUI and IVF.
I did not choose a field that pays well enough to justify egg freezing, but perhaps I would have made different choices if I didn't have my future husband.
Just don't worry about having kids,not everyone has to do it. And you know men also get extreme socal pressure if they can't start a family by 30
Terrible advice
@@TeyimPilais it terrible cause YOU wanna have a family with her?
"Don't worry about it"? If your lifelong dream is to have a family, good luck with that ...
@@TeyimPila ew she doesn’t want you
@@Ayverie4yet when a person's lifelong dream is something else and they don't manage to achieve it, then people say "don't worry, you can be happy doing other things in life", but when it comes to kids they say "oh no, I am so sorry you are so unhappy and your life is meaningless now". Do you think that such a reaction helps anyone?
Did you have any side effects when you were taking the hormone shots and when you take your trigger shot? I saw someone else who took IVF (I know it’s not the exact same but the process is somewhat similar minus the fertilisation part) and she had a lot of bad side effects.
Wish I would have done it in my 30's. I thought I'd meet mr right. Luckily, I have, but I'm 45 yrs old and it's the last year I can do it, if I'm going to do it. I'm just now looking into it. So glad for the RUclips docs explaining egg quality, but wished I'd have known how it worked sooner.
I’m considering doing this but worried about the potential long term side effects like weight gain etc. I already struggled with weight when I was younger, and generally find it hard to lose fat due to genetics (probably an endomorph). I’m never hugely overweight, but I end up being “skinny-fat”/untoned or chubby if I don’t exercise regularly. I tend to gain weight fast. You say in your video that your body had not fully recovered afterwards. It’s been a few years now. Did your body recover in the end? How long did that take, and did you have to do any specific things to help it along?
I did IVF for male factor infertility, hubby had a vasectomy years prior and it had been too long to try to reverse it, and I had none of those problems. I sincerely doubt that the egg retrieval process has any long term effects on the body unless you do it repeatedly and can't conceive. There is definitely some serious bloating but it went away. I got pregnant our first cycle and even with that, my weight went back down to baseline within 6 months of the baby being born. If you stress eat during this process because it's uncomfortable, you're gonna gain weight but that's a calorie surplus thing. Not a egg retrieval thing. Whatever you decide to do, good luck.
How ironic life is! I am 30 and I had my kids before 25. It was the best decision of my life! I always wanted a husband and a family and I got it and now I am figuring out what I would like to do professionally. We don’t plan on having another child. I wouldn’t say it’s definitive but I feel that now it’s a good age to shut down the baby factory! 😂 Then I am reading some of the comments where you guys went after a career and now would like to have a family but it’s tough to find someone and still be fertile to have a family! My heart goes out to you all and if I could I would give my fertility to you so that you could make your dream come true! ❤ There are other ways to become a mom! Don’t give up on giving your love to a child that needs a mom! It might not be through giving birth yourself but the love will be as great! I wasn’t raised by my parents and know people that weren’t as well and also people that adopted! ❤
how many eggs did you freeze? my first ER i got 10 mature and frozen. at 33...
it sounds like you had a successful first ER!! The number of eggs frozen can really vary from person to person due to so many factors, so it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique. The most important thing is that you're taking steps that feel right for you and your future. I didn't share my number because I wanted everyone to treat their experience as is. Wishing you all the best on your journey!
I just subscribed so that i can get notified about how you feel about it at 35. ❤
I’ve watched this a couple of times now. Thanks so much. Wonder if they gave u any skincare and supplement restrictions? Did u have to stop using retinol skin care and stop using CBD?
Hey! I'm glad you are finding this useful. For supplement restrictions, I was told no omega 3 due to bleeding. I didn't use retinol and CBD so I didn't get instructions there - I highly recommend speaking with your medical professional!
@@all4yoojin thanks so much. Really appreciate it! X
My doctor has prescribed me omega 3 as a supplement for preparation of this process.. I have doubts now
@@VardeS1990 why do u have doubts on Omega 3 supplements?
@@olga_b344 since you mentioned in your above comment that your doctor asked you to discontinue omega 3 supplant.
Whats the cost of keeping it year after year?
what happens to your eggs if you end up not using them?
The pressures on modern-day women is immense. And achieving the right balance of work and family is very difficult. For us men, it is easy a choice, because we can have a family well into our later years in IF we want to. I guess it is up to each individual woman to decide for herself, if and when to have a family. Today, many woman a choosing not to have a family, and that has a huge impact on society.
ETA: Also keep in mind that having a baby is tremendous stressful on a woman's body. My ex-wife had to buy a whole new wardrobe because she couldn't fit into her pre-baby clothes even after our son was 1 year old. And the mental stresses of raising a child from birth to 18 can be quite great.
That’s the thing though, despite what many think, men having kids in their later years still have tons of risk too but it goes unspoken because all the fault usually falls on the woman. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should since the quality goes down in age for men. Geriatric spm has been known to be the cause behind many kids having development issues/neurological birth problems. You can see it when a ton of young women procreate with older men having kids with such issues. And also, people tend to think that all men are fertile machines but a lot of the reasons behind why many women here have problems conceiving is cause many of them don’t even consider it might be their spouses counts that may not be in good numbers. What you do say has truth to it though I just felt like sharing that too since you never really see it spoken of.
@@CeraWorld: Of course, there can be problems for all men at any age to become fathers, and i have seen some men become fathers well into their 50s.
Adoption?
I watched this video on the afternoon and the serendipity make me see in the story of someone a post on this same subject and in the comment section, someone asked why no one talk about lipedema it is a disease that apparently could happen after the injection, it could make you body fat but it is different than obesity. Hope this help someone 💖
I think it sure doesn’t help that there is a stigma for people without children. Other people always think in the back of their head, there’s something wrong with that person or couple. I think, choosing to not have children, or simply accepting the fact that other things in life are more important for a woman is something that more woman need to work on.
Don't know why i saw this on my tl 😅 as a single 33 yr old who doesn't know if im ever settling down i have always been curious with egg freezing but i know is hella expensive. this video kinda helps tbh. Tho I do dreamt to have a child but also don't wanna push myself if it doesn't happen. We don't know what happens in the future i might met the loml 6mons or 1,2 or 3yrs.. I'll just live my life the way i want to & not pressure myself. Life is too short. If it's not for me, I wouldn't beat myself up.
I married at 23, had my son at 27, divorced at 30, remarried at 33, had my daughter at 35, and was widowed at 40. My first pregnancy was without complications; I had preeclampsia with the second, had to be induced at 39 weeks, my daughter was in distress and it was very good that I had an experienced OB/GYN and had given birth before, because she needed out of there QUICKLY! Just an observation about how crazy life can be and giving birth in your 20’s vs your 30’s. 🤔
It is an insurance policy you hope you don't have to use. Either it is due to age, illness or other circumstances when you may use this insurance policy. Better to have it than not have anything at all if things go wrong. 30s is harder for dating as people become attached or married compared to 20s when most are still single or in relationships. The clinic sounds like a dating environment for guys who can live up to the high expectations of these likely 30s career women and want a family intention.
Hahaha your last sentence cracked me up! Dating never gets easier but funny how we are wired to look for love throughout our lives. I was talking to someone who lost a loved one and rekindled an old love interest. She’s in her 70s!
感謝您公開分享您的經驗。 你一直好有幫助。 再見. 😊
我很高興你喜歡this video！謝謝
@@all4yoojin 💖😊
Thank u for being so honest - I didn’t realise there’s fat gain and muscle loss, if you went back - you wouldn’t have done it? I fear I’d regret it too if I do it 😢
Happy to provide one perspective. There is no turning back time so hard to say whether I wouldn't have done it. Freezing your eggs is a personal choice - I saw trust your gut. You know yourself the best. 🙏
@@all4yoojin bless you, thank you 🙏
My sister had a kid at 40. The baby was born with severe autism. 😣
Thanks for sharing, chickpea. Wishing your family all the strength, support, and love needed🙏 have a lovely weekend!
Ive read some passive aggressive comments here, just wanted to reassure you that you just decided with what information you had at that time. So i hope you dont live anymore with regrets. I think its good that you did it, you just need to shift your mindset. And also thought that if you dont believe in s. before marriage, I heard many find their partners in the church community.
Love your video. I’ve just done two cycles and I’m thinking of a third cycle (to improve my numbers). I also saw changes in my body. Did you regain your muscle mass and lose the fat now? And how long did it take you?
❤
Hey Olga! Happy to hear the cycles are going well for you! Yes, I’d be happy to share about my plan on muscle gain and fat loss on a separate video. Stay tuned and stay healthy🥰
@@all4yoojin thank youuuuu xx
It has been a few years I have been thinking and hesitating about freezing my eggs. But the process and the cost make me think twice and sometimes I just think it is fate that I may never have a child or find a good partner. In my case, it is not like I wanted to focus on career or get children late. I don't necessarily feel the need to be a mom. I am open to it. But like you, dating is really hard nowadays. It is hard to find an attractive man who wants a serious relationship and respect your values, especially in big cities.
wowww its so much more expensive in US vs in Canada!
Yeah! US healthcare is another beast of its own 😂I plan to compare the costs of other medical services in Korea vs the US
My family is very tradicional and I developed a conservative mind too. I have PCOS since I starded ble3ding so fertility was a worry even before that.
For me is the opposite, I was so worried since 12 that I couldn't have a baby and I spend most of my 20s terrified about it.
Not faking it, for real. I don't care now.
A family is great but we also have other things too, and I focused so much on an ideal I lose focus on My blessings like the ones that are gone now 💔
If it happens cool and if not cool. Maybe some of us (PCOS) can't have babies because there's so many babies without moms.
I wouldn't personally do egg freezing, I would adopt a kid if I can't have WITHIN marriage.
If I don't marry that's cool.
I agree modern society demands a lot of us woman, I can think of Bumble recently 😂 but I think we should not focus only on career but friendship and family even if we don't marry 😊
"modern society" aka feminism and capitalism 😂
So perfect a lot of kids needs moms even if I know it is not easy maybe. But I am
Like you what happens happens ✌🏾💖
The problem in my opinion is the society changes, im turning 32 this year and im still single and honestly i feel like part of this is due to how we asians grow up.
1. You should have a house and car of your own, asian girls won't be interested if you are not dependable.
2. You need a job and money, withiut a job, you should think about it
3. When we work we have no time, when we study at school we have no time. For me i find that if we didnt find someone at university, its near impossible to find someone
4. We as a society have shifted so for towards social appropriation a d political correctness, there are times where we might even fear approaching a girl
5. Introversy, i honestly think we are either extremely extrovert or introvert when it comes to asian of our generation
6. If we date someone not asian, omg the racism and criticism we get!
I wanted to add I went to Wharton as well by for undergrad.
Question of curiosity if you can't find the right man why don't you fertilize the eggs with an appropriate sperm donor? Because doesn't it get exponentially harder to bring a bady to term the older you get even if you're using frozen eggs.
Hey obez - good question. That thought crossed my mind too and I liked the idea of going at it first on my own. I initially thought maybe I’ll do another round with a donor but you know how people change their minds and I felt different after going through the experience. Can’t believe it’s already been 3 years since egg freezing!
Wouldn't be even harder to find a man, as a single mom ?
I froze my eggs two years ago too and i don't regret it at all. The only part i didn't like was pricking myself, sometimes twice a day, with needles
If i experienced OHSS, perhaps my answer would be different
WAIT ITS ABOUT THAT EGG???
This whole process is so dystopian 😬
Is having kids at around 35 not late enough? The only reason I can see for having them later is not finding the right partner before. If you finish studying at around 25, you have 10 years to nurture your career, and after a few months of having the child you can go back to work if you really want to (though I would say maybe taking a one year leave would be better for the kid and yourself).
I'm a 25 year old engineer and for the moment that's my plan, starting to try for kids with my partner around 35. My parents are doctors though, and my mum only had me at 38 after much insistance of my father. I think she didn't really want to be a mother, otherwise why have a kid so late when you've been married since 24? You're also at some point too old in my opinion, in particular to take care of your future grandchildren.
Didnt know but makes sense
Here where i live its only an option when someone is very sick
You need to go to a foreign country to produce
Ahh Sofia the cvs injection video lady was my bff too! 😂
Why can't yuou just adopt!? $30k on a kid that hasn't or may never be born (I'm assuming it's only a backup and you'll try the natural way first?)
Hey Duy! I love the idea of adopting. I’m scared to raise a child all by myself though.
Adopting kids is really expensive, often 30k to 40k