This Simple Mistake DESTROYS a Relationship (MUST AVOID IT!)
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
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At the start of a relationship between a man and a woman, there is usually a lot of automatic lust, mutual respect and new feelings of love.
That's the easy part of a relationship.
Yet, soon enough, things can begin to shift and set the relationship on a course towards cheating, or a breakup.
“60% of unmarried relationships (i.e. boyfriend-girlfriend relationships) break up within 2 months and 70% end within 1 year.” Source: Social Science Data Collection. Stanford University, California
Even though things were good at the start, it begins to fall apart.
Suddenly, either the man or woman has way too much power over the other and therefore, often begins to take the other for granted, or possibly even cheat or break up with them.
One person having way too much power over the other is 1 of 3 examples (in this video) of how a relationship will enter what I call the RELATIONSHIP DANGER ZONE, where the chances of cheating or a breakup go up significantly.
It doesn't matter how good the sex was in the beginning.
It doesn't matter how nice, thoughtful, loyal or generous you are in the relationship.
It also doesn't matter how much you can offer a woman.
The harsh reality is that a woman is much more likely to cheat on you, or break up with you, if you allow the relationship to enter the DANGER ZONE and then remain there.
So, if you want to avoid a breakup, or prevent yourself from being cheated on, you MUST know how to maintain the correct balance in a relationship.
You cannot expect a woman to stick around because things were good at the start.
You need to know how to maintain and increase the respect, attraction and love you both feel for each other over time. Some examples of that are given in the video.
BTW: If you enjoyed this video and would like to learn more about how to maintain and increase the feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love in a relationship, then I recommend that you watch or listen to my program, Make Her Love You For Life: store.themoder...
I have discovered the secrets to what makes a relationship between a man and a woman remain in love, passionate and happy.
As a result, I am more than 10 years into a happy, in love, sexually attracted relationship with my wife and it only gets better over time.
You do not have to merely hope that your girlfriend or wife doesn't cheat on you, or break up with you one day.
Instead, you can take control of the situation and make sure that she only wants to be with you and just as importantly, continues to show you the love, respect and affection that you deserve.
So, if you are serious about keeping a relationship together with a woman, I hope you don't miss out on learning how to do it right.
Cheers
Dan Bacon
Founder, TheModernMan.com - Secrets to Success With Women
Best dating coach.
😎👍
No 🧢
It’s him.
The absolute greatest.
This sort of looks like my issue. My wife and I both make about the same money, me a little more. Married 27 years, I'm very fit and active,I don't feel any respect from her, she tries to control many things in the relationship, never initiates sex or shows affection. I feel trapped. Either need a reset or need to leave but it's not easy.
Dan, you have excellent communication skills.
Also, your accent is awesome.
Everyone will be able to clearly understand what you say, the first time itself.
Thanks Aneesh - I appreciate that 👍
Hi Dan. I'm from India. I really wanted to share it with you. 3 and a half years ago when I was in school, I fell in love with a girl in my class. One day, she shifted along with her family to Canada. On her last day, we exchanged sentences like "I will miss you"" this and that and continued to remain in touch through call and chat. Her behaviour suggested that she respected me, liked me and showed interest in me too. Whenever we were going to talk on call, I used to think about what to talk about with her. I was very good at humour but brought boring topics to talk about also. One day when we were talking on call, I confessed my deep feelings for her but in an emotional way. I cried too. She first seemed excited and said she liked me too but two days later on call, the day I proposed her, she rejected me saying our religion is different but that I knew was not the actual reason. We continued to talk for some months. I wrote poems for her, sent a video of me playing a song on piano for her on her birthday, confessed my feelings again and again, always used to direct the conversation towards my love and felt hurt when I thought based on some evidence that she loves and feels attracted to someone else. On the advice of my father, one day, I told her that that would be our last conversation and we didn't talk for a year. My father said that now she will herself bring up the love topic with you and she did after an year when she texted me justifying her rejection, showed a lot of interest and even said she has started loving me. My father had advised me to only talk when she calls or texts but sometimes I initiated conversations too, flirted with her but despite loving her, I did not show that interest, you can say I played it cool, tried to make her jealous and convey that other girls like me. Her behaviour started changing as if she was losing interest and one day at 3 a.m. (Indian Time), I called her and said sorry if through my behaviour she felt unappreciated. We talked two or three times after that but on the last call, I again did not show much interest and conversation ended early, I don't remember but may be I was thinking at that time that I will first learn and then talk, I don't know. We again didn't talk for 4 months and then I texted her and called her. She was may be playing hard to get as she talked on voice calls but used to avoid video calls, used to not turn her camera on while on video call, used to not pick up call when I called or told her beforehand I would call, etc. On calls, I tried to talk in a way that would make her think that other girls like me and I have interest in other girls. One day, I don't know what I was thinking, when she didn't pick up call when I called her an hour later after she said she was having lunch and told me to call after sometime, I texted her that I feel disrespected, she always makes some excuses, makes me wait and even said I won't talk with a person who makes me feel disrespected. In her reply, she mentioned she also wants to talk with me, this and that and then we had a conversation for nearly 3 hours and in that conversation, I was may be talking in desperate or emotional way, directing the whole conversation towards what or why it happened in the past or my feelings, how I see our bond, you said this and that, etc. Some days later, I apologized too for the way I behaved and talked and tried to address it in a mature way in whose reply she involved the words "as a friend" referring to her "as my friend". We talked two or three times more, those conversation had nothing in them, were may be, I don't know boring, lacked a lot and something was missing in them. After some time, she texted me one or two times and I replied after some days and to-the-point and didn't start a conversation. I don't know, may be I was thinking I should not talk and take some time as I wasn't in the right mindset or may be I knew I will make mistakes if I talk. 4 months have passed, no conversation and again I'm planning to start something by texting her on her birthday and also planning to introspect about what happened, approach the situation better, be true to myself and align my actions with how I genuinely feel. When I checked social media (She doesn't follow me), I saw her comments on some guys' posts praising them seeming to be attracted by them. I feel something is missing, that emotional connection is vanishing and I may not be going to Canada ever but I really really love her. How you see my situation and what's your advice ? What should I do and how can I become a better person in life ? Sorry for a very long message.
Long distance relationships are never easy even when you have a solid relationship. I would suggest you move on and learn how to be an attractive person with new girls.
Great advice, thank you!
It's quite difficult to achieve this sweet spot. Always have to be cautious if you are too 'soft' or too controlling.
I do this A LOT. I tend to give my power away, because I don't want to be in the 1 up position. I also always lose the power struggle because I always think about the other person first.
Yet, the irony is that the woman appreciates it more when you are in the one up position. It's actually a gift that you give her and in return, she gives you the gift of her respect, love and affection. If you think that she wants to be in the one up position, then you are doing a disservice to both you and her. Both you and her will be less happy, less attracted and less fulfilled. So, if you want to think of the woman first, then think of what you really want. She doesn't want you in the one down position, even though she might act like she does to test your confidence and resolve. You've got to be the man. It feels better for you and her. Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_ Thank you for your reply, Dan. Always there for us!
@@DanBacon_ Perfect reply, need to man up!
Dan has a very relaxed approach.
Hey Dan, im understanding what you mean by supressing your masculinity. for some reason, i think because this is how i grew up, i tend to give up my power by letting her get whar she wants and im afraid of being abrasive to be like "no, were doing it this way". this often ruins things. do you have any recommendations?
That's the thing though - you don't have the abrasive when saying no. You can say no in a dominant, but loving way. Do that and she will respect you and feel attracted to you. However, don't expect that she will always say yes. Women aren't black and white like that. There are shades of grey with women (i.e. sometimes a woman will say no to a request, just to test your confidence. She agrees and wants to do it, but first wants to see how you handle yourself if she says no). Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_thanks mate
My style is that I tend to be assertive about what I do and how and I do it, whilst being tolerant of how she does things. With compromises from me tending to be small, inconsequential things.
This is the sort of thing that's best discussed with specific examples. Instead of talking in generalities.
EG It's me that picks and organises where we go on holiday (currently on a 6 week family touring trip to Spain and Protugal). And for week-ends away and most of our day trip excursions. With her picking some days and evenings out. And her also doing stuff with her friends whenever she wants (which isn't that often).
Thanks, Dan. You are the empirical ULTIMATE SCIENTIST on relationships!
Thank you
If I'm not wrong this is the first time you make a video about power dynamics, and by watching the entire video it looks you recommend a relationship where the man has 60% of the power and the woman 40%
If your girlfriend like other man pic on fb..then she didnt love you?
No. I'm sure you've liked a woman's pic on FB or IG before, right? If yes, then you would probably know that it didn't mean you don't love your girlfriend. You just clicked like. Sure, you might have felt attracted to the woman in the moment, but it doesn't mean you don't love your girlfriend. Cheers, Dan 👍
Accurate advise, no BS, what Dan teaches works
Dan u the best✌️🎉🏆 all the way from South Africa 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
Cheers Anthony - I appreciate that man 👍
How is the load shedding? 😅
I have learned so much from you ! thank you Dan!
Thé G with the sauce🔥🔥🔥🔥
Word 👍 More videos on the way. Cheers, Dan
What do you do if she ended the relationship very early on because she said i'm distant, not willing to let someone in or give time to them just yet?
thanks, good video
Hi Dan! Your presentations are all pure gold, you really know your stuff and it's a pleasure listening to you every time. Greetings from Bavaria! 😎🍺 Cheers!
Thanks Ralf - I appreciate that and I'm glad you're enjoying the videos! Cheers, Dan 👍
❤❤❤❤❤❤this! So true
As always, great recommendations and advice, mate!
Cheers Steve 👍
To anyone who questions the jdea that a woman should in a position in which she wants to impress her man. Why would a woman want to be with a guy she doesn't want to impress?
But I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here LOL
This is a very good video. WHY do men keep on staying with women who cheat? I actually know a guy who went back to have a kid with his ex , and she was cheating on him as a prostitute with guys at a strip club . She also left him two weeks after his sister died . Is that normal?
Yo Dan! Could you maybe make a video on how to support your girlfriend when she is going through mental issues (stress/depression)? Would be really helpful! Or is it maybe in one of your programs?
That's a complicated one, but, in Make Her Love You For Life, I have included a conversation to have with your girlfriend/wife (it's 1 of 7 conversations I recommend you have with your girlfriend/wife) that will help her feel less pressured and more accepting of herself during times like those. Here's the program if you'd like to learn that and 100s of other techniques and insights about making a relationship feel amazing for the both of you: store.themodernman.com/in/4ad3750 Cheers, Dan
@@DanBacon_ thanks a lot man! Will check that one🙏
A very good friend of myself had total control in the house he did end up having a couple of affairs funnily enough his daughter has ended up in very similar relationships with domestic vilence etc funny that it seems to carry on from mother to daughter and from daughter to grabd daughter
I waited too long to ask a woman to be my girlfriend. What should I do now that she is with another man?
Could you release a video explaining unspoken social norms that determine what makes a guy unattractive if he doesn’t have the social intelligence to follow those norms?
hey dan......... u have helped me so much.......I have bought the flow and since then my friends circle have been expanding in my uni........i used to only talk to guys i was not threatened by......but now thats changing..... i hooked up with a girl.......but the thing is i feel like some ppl still find me as soft and not masculine enough......
Also i have a crush on the most popular girl in my uni and have talked to her a few times although it was related to studies (just a few teases like she's a nerd when she says she didnt prepare for exams n stuff)...but my friends think i can't get her.....even her best friend thinks i can't get her........
So should i pick up girls outside my uni and then try to pick her up? also is there any way ppl perceive me as more masculine cuz i started doubting if some stuff i do is masculine enough or not......
and i cant afford to buy the bad boy ebook now but i would as soon as i can.
Hey Chilldrop - congrats on hooking up with a girl and expanding your social circle since reading The Flow. Awesome to hear man. About the girl at uni: If she is showing you signs of interest, you can get her to join you for lunch if you have it at the same time, or invite her to a party that you're going to and then increase her attraction there and then make a move. About being more masculine: The more you try to do it, the more you will get used to it. Soon enough, it becomes your natural behavior, which results in men respecting you more and women feeling more attracted to you. Don't beat yourself up - you are on the right path now. Months from now, you will proud of how much more masculine you have become. Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_ thanks for the reply man............ she usually smiles and i always tell my friends that i can see that she likes me.....they don't know believe me because they dont know stuff u teach and how attraction works..........but yes i have planned on asking her out but i chicken out because people close to me dont believe i can get her...... and about masculinity apart from whats in the flow.......is there any way to give off masculine vibes?
Then, it's best that you stop discussing it with your insecure friends. They will try to talk you out of it because they don't want you succeeding. Many 'friends' are like that. They want you to remain at their level, or below. About masculine vibes: I teach unique examples of how to do that in Better Than a Bad Boy and Alpha Male Power. I will put your request on my list of RUclips videos to make though and get to it when I can. Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_ thanks dan
Can you make a video about does size matter to women if you can dan? And also, what do you suggest to learn to good with women your RUclips platform or the flow?
Hey man 1) Size only matters if the guy has a very small one. Most guys are average (I'm average BTW), which is totally enjoyable for the woman, as long as the guy uses it in a confident way. If he's nervous during sex, or thrusts in a timid way, the woman won't enjoy it whether he's big, average or small. 2) My RUclips videos contain tips, insights and examples and guys who are already naturally good with women can watch the videos, understand it all and then begin using it. However, most guys aren't naturally good with women and need more in depth advice. For example: Most guys don't know how to project a confidence in way that attracts women and turns them on. Guys like that should be learning from my eBook The Flow. BTW: I watched about 20 seconds of a couple of the videos of you on your channel (here's one for example: ruclips.net/video/4HcozUw4Kl4/видео.html ) and can see that you're not a wimp, but you probably don't have the kind of confidence around women that turns them on. From what I can see, you are probably a bit too withdrawn, or timid around girls that you feel attracted to. As a result, they either think you're not interested enough in them, or they sense that you're afraid and feel turned off by that. In The Flow, I provide my best-ever technique for feeling and projecting the kind of confidence that attracts women and turns them on right away. It's subtle, easy to do (once you get used to it) and it works. Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_ so you assume that I'm withdrawn and timid around women that I feel attracted to? What can I do to change that?
Size doesn't matter nearly as much as we men like to think (unfortunately for me!). Most women don't even orgasm from penetration and intercourse (although they do enjoy it if you're an attentive lover). It's more valuable to be good with your tongue and take your time on the foreplay. Ask them to tell you what they like too.
I'd say if you're the kind of man like Dan was where you have this alpha-or-bust mentality and you can force yourself to keep approaching night after night, you'll get good with or without Dan's help, but it might take six months or more. You have to be extremely good at mental discipline to keep from succumbing to feelings of helplessness and frustration, though. If you're not that kind of guy, buy The Flow. If you are, buy it anyway. It'll shorten the learning curve. It's what I should have done 15 years ago. I could have had the skills I had now in college. What a wasted opportunity!
1. Watch these two videos:
ruclips.net/video/G9ThUt9icy0/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/Qu_fV_dj3ok/видео.html
2. Read The Flow and learn my best technique for getting out of your shell and being present, confident and attractive around women you REALLY like: store.themodernman.com/in/218c59f
Cheers,
Dan
I recently purchased the Flow and want to buy Text Attraction next. Is Text Attraction eligible for the 50% off bundle price and if so how can I apply the discount? Thanks.
Hi Joseph. Yes, Text Attraction is now available in the Bundles area of your account. Log in and go to your downloads and you will see it there: store.themodernman.com/login.html Enjoy! Cheers, Dan 👍
what should i do if a woman thinks im too good for her xd
VERY interesting
Glad you enjoyed the vid Paul 👍
I’m guilty for making this mistake
The only Danger Zone that comes to mind is, the Theme song from Topgun lol :P
"Highway to the Danger Zone" 🎶
Thanks for all the great stuff you're helping alot of guys including me. My gf test me alots and it drains my energy. Im thinking and worriyng about the relationship to much and almost to the point if its worthit sometimes. My last gf was the oppositie and I had to much power. However I have trouble with the differnce between when you should ignore/laugh at tantrum/drama and when to set boundaries. She admits being a pain sometimes. She allways test what shecan get away with. She says shes used to guys do everything for here and she said one time im different. However its difficult due to agedifference, she 20 i 35 so basicilly i need to pay for everything since she just graduaded. So it would be much appriceated if you could elaborare on that.
The worst mistake you can make is to think that men are like those aging comps of bawling women on tiktok the Misogysphere gets off on mocking. She doesn't become more out of your league because you're older (Dan and his wife were the same ages as you and your girl when they met). I'm your age and my girlfriend is almost a decade younger. It's not due to age difference; it's due to spine difference. Your age is a huge advantage for you if you can calmly tell her "You know I don't put up with that shit. You said it yourself. Shape up or ship out." Now your age is framed as "more experienced" and that's a plus. If you just tease her all the time like Dan would and she exhibits this behavior a lot, she may do it just for the attention. He has videos for how to deal with that.
Your problem is you're worrying about it. Don't. She already told her other guys let her get away with her antics. Who will she go to? Her retinue of friendzoned betamales? You probably overcompensated because your last girl was more demure. You just need to learn to calibrate. It's all you, dude!
Dan, any advice onwhat to do if you're struggling to 'assume'?
Practice makes perfect. Here's a video I made a long time ago, which explains the learning process and how you get to the mastery level: ruclips.net/video/hcZa3KVj82Y/видео.html Cheers, Dan 👍
Hey Dan......... you have no idea how much i have changed since reading the flow..........Dan I still dont know what to talk abt with girls at my uni.....especially since they go in groups.......i think about saying just a "hey" but i dont know what to say after that.......I have never in my life started many interactions.........so i feel like i might be acting a little too familiar with them or something....... its just the initial stage thats troubling me....what comes after "hey" especially if the girl i like has her friends (guys and girls) around her.......I just get too nervous..........I would really appreciate a reply ........
Hi Felipe - great to hear of your progress since reading The Flow. It sounds like you need to read it again though because you're not using the confidence technique that I explain at the start of the section on Confidence in The Flow. If you were using that, then you would feel totally fine saying about hey. Alternatively, you would use a conversation starter from The Flow (e.g. about coming over, being social and saying hi) and just talk to the woman. I recommend reading/listening it again and reading/listening to the confidence section as many times as you need to, in order to hard code it into your brain for next time. You can also use that technique in every day life to get used to it, so you are confident and ready to talk to a woman when you have an opportunity. Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_ thanks......a girl i hooked up with recently told me that i am very confident and dominant.........so i guess i have come a long way from a shy nerd.........but i can't think of anything to say other than a "hey" to really attractive girls especially if they are in a group .........but i 'll surely give it another read.........
The best
😊You're my cup of tea
Hey Dan, I was doing your Get Your Ex Back Super System and I managed to basically get to Step 6 but then I got anxious, tried to rush getting back into relationship and it turned her off. She said that she can see that I changed and improved alot but it's not gonna work... Can I restart the ex back process again? Is there a limit on how many times I can do that?
Hi Jack - congrats on getting back with her, at least temporarily. You should go back to Step 3 immediately. Do a really good job of that within the next week. Don't take any longer than that to do it. Alternatively, immediately start Plan B from the system and get that happening within a maximum of 3 weeks. Plan B is located at 2 hours, 19 minutes into Step 2. Cheers, Dan 👍
@@DanBacon_ Thanks Dan!
DAN is the MAN to listen to....it rhymes 😂😂😂😂
How can she be honest, loyal, have good values, when.. she cheats………. That’s like saying cheaters aren’t disloyal people…… that they’re loyal people unless you give off a “I won’t hold you accountable if you really want to be dishonest unloyal and a disgusting human being” vibe.. huh?
And don’t you think that a man should leave a woman that’s disingenuous and look for a genuine woman instead rather than trying to maintain a relationship with someone like that through all these efforts?.. don’t you think if a woman genuinely loved you, you wouldn’t have to worry about what dynamic the relationship is experiencing? Is the standard about love? Or is it just about keeping someone there regardless of whether or not they love you? You know what I mean? I really enjoy hearing your perspective on women these are genuinely my thoughts when I watched this video
Hi Alan - here's another example to help you understand. Imagine that you were in a relationship with a woman and you had way too much power (i.e. she didn't question you, she was too afraid to disagree with you, etc). You were a good guy and honestly intended to be faithful to her. You then started going out with your buddies every Friday night for drinks (and coming home very late, or even crashing on a friend's couch at times) and pretty women were flirting with you at the bars you went to. Let's just say that initially, you thought, "No, I love my woman, so I'm not going to cheat on her" and you rejected the pretty women. You kept that up for a while. Yet, as the relationship continued, you stopped feeling as attracted to your girlfriend for whatever reason and when you went out, pretty women were flirting with you and were interested in you. Then, one night, when drinking (and tipsy or drunk) you made what I referred to the woman making in the video, which was a 'bad decision.' You just went along with it and started kissing the woman and then really enjoyed it. You knew that your girlfriend wouldn't question you, so you went along with it and cheated on your girlfriend by having sex with the other woman. The point now, is that the act of your girlfriend giving you too much power in the relationship ended up corrupting your behavior. You are a good guy, but you had way too much power and one day, it corrupted your behavior.
A rough version of the old saying about power is, "Power corrupts. Absolutely power corrupts absolutely."
So, for example: If a woman has too much power in a relationship, she can start out being a good, honest, loyal woman, but end up changing because of how much power she has. She never cheated before and didn't intend to, but the amount of power she had in the relationship ended up corrupting her behavior.
In terms of leaving a woman who isn't genuine: What you must understand is that your approach to her and the relationship will either make her feelings about you genuine or not. Your approach will either make her feel respectful, attracted, in love or not. You are in control of that.
So, the solution for a guy is not to leave a woman if his approach to her and the relationship is turning her off and making her not care about him as a result. He can either fix his approach (i.e. get into the one up position) so she feels the desire to impress him, respect him and treat him well, or leave her and then most likely end up in the same situation with the next woman because he still doesn't know how to approach a relationship correctly.
Essentially, you bring out a certain side of a woman in a relationship with the approach you use.
In my relationship for example, my wife respects me and treats me well, but there's no way she would continue doing that if I became an insecure, needy guy.
Hopefully that helps you understand.
Cheers,
Dan
You mean if i give her the affection and love energy she will give the affection and love that stopped from months?
Btw am in long distance relationship unfortunately
No, I don't mean that at all. You might need to watch the video again my friend. You need to make her feel the desire to show you affection and love. If you need more tips on how to do that, watch my playlist of relationship advice videos: ruclips.net/video/wK5ZizKo_eg/видео.html Cheers, Dan
I felt insecur about my gf going out with her male friend late at nights, and i had asked her to stop it and she made it very clear no controlling her and she decided to walk away. Now I feel miserable, how can I turn this situation around. @DanBaconTheModernMan
In most cases, if she was committed to you, then she would have wanted to stop going out with her male friends. I say most, because when a relationship first begins and for the first 2 months, either the man or woman may not be fully committed yet. So, if was during that period (i.e. before she'd decided to commit to you), then that is part of why she reacted in that way. If she was your girlfriend for longer and she was going that, then she was most-likely planning on cheating on you. A woman who is committed to a man simply won't have the desire or need to be hanging around with other men at night. She will want to be with him. In terms of how to turn it around, I recommend watch my playlist of videos about how to get an ex back: ruclips.net/video/so3ceyNW_IA/видео.html Cheers, Dan
Dan hi, i gotta tell you, I think maybe i gave a ultimatum to my gf (idk, I didn't say "is this or that" specifically)🫤... Because she wanted to do drugs, when she never did, it was her first time, and it shocked me to see her high(we both drink tho)...that happen on Saturday, then we talked on Tuesday. i was prepared to breakup, i just didn't say it...but it was obvious as i turned the car back towards her address. I told her it was her decision, but to do it for her own health...So what do u think, good words used? She agreed to not do it at all, not worth it... And we had fun at the end of the night 😅
The rest of the date i kept my treats as always great 👍🏻