I love the French take on gifts and holidays in general. I did grow up with all the decorations and gifts but over the years I have toned down the quantity of gifts and my family enjoys just getting together and the food and music of Christmad.
So, my husband is French and I'm American. This video was too real for us lol. When it came to the topic of Food and Christmas, we both got a kick out of that! It was refreshing to watch this because it really allowed us to reflect and say, "See, we're not the only ones." lol So, one cultural difference that we both, don't necessarily argue about, but definitely laugh about is meeting people for the first time. My husband says that I (or Americans rather) tend to be overly friendly/familiar when making an acquaintance, whereas, he (as a frenchman) is not so quick to tell people his life story and become besties, haha. I've definitely toned that down a lot but when we come back to Texas, it all goes out the window. Another cultural difference are holidays for sure. Me being Mexican-American, we celebrate Dìa de Los Muertos, which was definitely something he was not accustomed to lol. He loved the food and décor but thought that the overall concept was sweet but a bit grim lolol. Now he's embraced that part of me a lot more and enjoys telling people about it lol. Love your vids!
I agree with your husband “ unplug the Christmas 🎄 machine “ Less is more . I loved this video 🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷 My daughter is at Sorbonne for one year , lives in Montmartre & loves Paris !!!!
Christmas is not the bad thing. It's the people who think decorating the tree is done right after Halloween or at Thanksgiving and they then throw the tree out on the street on Dec 25 by 2PM are the ones who are f***ing up Christmas. There are 12 days of Christmas and it STARTS on December 25.
@@j-loosenfout67 I disagree as a french as well. The gun she talked had a family sense, it's a memory. Having an object coming from the grand-father is precious for the children. A gun with no ammunition in the house is not a risk of any kind. Remembering a time where hunting could be vital for the family to eat is not a bad thing in my opinion.
@@agabekarthur777AAA it's not a risk now but when the kids grow up he/she could find bullets quite easily. For me it's not worth the risk but I can understand why it can be sad for her to separate herself from that memory
When it comes to guns, it's true that there are a couple of million hunters in France, and they get a lot of slack because of their lobbying clout. But the rest of the population is overwhelmingly against having guns in the home, and to be honest, hunters are widely disliked because they often behave as though the countryside is their private hunting grounds. I grew up in a small village and, as a kid, there were months at a time when I couldn't go in the woods because hunting season was on and old guys in varying states of inebriation walked around shooting anything that looks vaguely like game. If you've seen the classic video by Les Inconnus, that gives you a good idea of what most French people think of hunters. It's also true that in France we aren't too big on celebrations, especially when the occasion feels like a made-up corporate scheme to encourage us to buy stuff. As a culture, we tend to be inherently skeptical of that.
"It's also true that in France we aren't too big on celebrations, especially when the occasion feels like a made-up corporate scheme to encourage us to buy stuff. As a culture, we tend to be inherently skeptical of that." YES !!!
@@wir6228 Don't make a straw man argument pls. The causality is like this: I'm a man, so I like weapons. NOT the opposite (what you said): I like weapons and it makes me a man. Weapons are useful to fight, to defend something etc. Things what are generally linked to men. Even young boys like fighting with sticks, wooden swords.
I'll defend public hospitals anyday cause they saved me from many troubles. But... duuude ! Were I married, and were my wife expecting, and if money is not a problem, there's no f-ing way I'd push for the option she doesn't like. Discussing the delivery, seriously, how could a man have the last say in this ? ^^'
Haha I totally threw that out in there in the argument. "You aren't delivering the baby so why do you have such a say in it!" 😂And i always go public for any other health needs. I've always had a great experience with the public care in France!
@@elg94 in YOUR opinion. I gotta defend her and totally agree that if she wants to feel emotionally and language wise safe and money would be no problem, why not to spend some extra? It's not allways about what's rational and based on "facts", but about what feels right and safe. Peace and love 😂
my mother, who was french, once worked for the american hospital in PARIS, as a doctor. She spoke english like a native french speaker who learnt english at school. Don't have too high expectations about the staff speaking good english. Have no expectation about them actually being american. The administratives are american. They recruit their staff where they can
I have trimmed way down on my gift-giving over the years, too. Even amongst my friends and family members, we're all trying to downsize and clear out the clutter - more and more - in our lives. For one sister, I got her a natural big tropical Hawaiian bouquet for the holidays (all the holiday colors but done with tropical leaves and flowers); for the other sister, I got a big cheese wheel of Spanish cheese: both would be gone after the holidays (no more extra clutter). For other friends, we skip gifts and just bring food or more exclusive wine as gifts. Most people I know of after 30 don't want / get into / need / appreciate / know what to do with lots of gifts that = lots of extra things sitting around in their flats or homes.
I’ve been watching your channel for a while now and am part of a French/American couple myself. I’m not sure if you made a video so far about this but I’d be really interested to see a video about the ways that your American culture has influenced Robin and your family. It might be because we live in France and I haven’t seen that many around us that have a really positive view of American culture, but it’d be nice to see situations where he might of wanted to adapt to the American way of doing things
Great video! I’m French and I used to live in the US for several years. I totally agree with you on the food part, sometimes I miss Cheetos, Mac and cheese or a good sweet tea haha!
No, I am french man married to a Colombian, let me tell you he is just a complete pri.. mean and tightfisted husband, no French woman would accept to live with him, no compromise she basically tells that eather she accept his way of doing things or nothing.
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified I am French, my wife American. What helps to compromise is that I have lived 10 years in England (80's and 90's), and know what it is to be in a different culture. Your husband needs to travel or live in a foreign country to understand a bit more naturally your need. To me, he seems very unreasonable although I exactly know where he comes from. I could have been there.
Hi! Concerning the kids, I strongly believe that they cannot miss what they never had, to some extent of course. I understand that you used to love peanut butter and crackers and piles of gifts, but your kids will not be sad or feel deprived if they do not get these things. As adults they will love what they had as kids. If it is not too rude (sorry I'm French) I would say one should may be not project their own taste (what they love) upon their children. Your children will have it all: your American enthusiasm and positivity and their French father"s diet and anti-consumerism :P
I moved to France to be with my boyfriend and we definitely have tension when it comes to food. Canadian vrs French food. Yes my boyfriend feels the same about Christmas and the mass amount of gifts. I do agree with the view less gifts and make it more about the personal. I honestly never thought that you could fight over the most stupidest stuff but when you feel like your culture is being squashed or tested it’s so easy to get your back up about it. I never had a clue how different French/Canadian cultures were. It’s like night and day.
I completely agree. Whenever you feel like a part of your culture is being squashed, it almost becomes an identity thing and you can totally freak out for the smallest stuff!!
I totally agree! I recently started dating a french guy… he is so sweet and nice but we fight over the craziest things 😰 if i didn’t like him so much i would probably quit now.. how was your experience dating a French boy? I would love your input !
@@IamSorellePasso for us the tension Comes in how we communicate. French ppl express themselves very differently than Canadians so this causes friction. Also the language barrier where when I say something he can translate it into French and it means something not the same. Or when he applies his French directly to English it won’t make sense so I have to ask him again or say I don’t understand b/c it doesn’t make sense. Then he gets defensive as English is not his first language…. Oh the joys of loving a person of a different culture 🤪
@@heatherheaney4060 they do communicate very differently than us canadians.. i am just trying to figure out if it gets easier/better with time! Did it get better for you and your partner?
Hi Kate! Fun video and a lot to relate to here, as I'm also married to a French guy. Re: Food, we still argue about dinnertime. For him, dinner is 8pm and for me 7 or 7:30 just feels more natural (especially on a lazy Sunday) since I go to bed on the early side. Ahhh, the struggle is real! ;-)
The pizza thing made me laugh so hard. I was waiting for you to mention how baguette and cheese is basically an unassembled pizza. But it's so interesting that he gained 11 lbs over a short visit to the US. That's a lot! It's true that Christmas overload or overconsuming in general is gross and hard on the psyche and I'm absolutely behind him with being more spare and appreciating more. ;) xo from Canada
it's not the amount of food, it is all the additives, sugar and hormones that is added to the food in the US. Every European that moves to the US gains 10lbs immediately and when they go home for vacation, they eat a lot and lose weight. The US has an obesity problem because all our food has additives and hormones.
The hunting riffle is not a culture shock, it’s a personal opinion! There are plenty of hunters in France! Keeping a hand gun in your bedside draw would be more of a cultural difference!
You must love your husband very much. You did integrate very fast ! Hope it's not too hard ( It must have been hard sometimes I presume). I'm positively amazed by how you do things and how you push yourself to figure out french moral point of views on multiple things :) congrats. That's proof of open-mindedness.
these are almost exactly the same "fights" I've had with my husband, hahahaha, I'm from the States and he's French. We haven't had the wedding disputes though because we didn't have a wedding when we got married, though we might have one in a few years, but we're basically on the same page of basically what we want for our wedding, it's gonna be more of small fights with his French family (and French people on my side too) telling us what we can and can't do and what we have to do for a French wedding. But I do think it's cool that the Mairie can do vow renewals that make it look like you're getting married for the first time, which will be nice because we didn't have a ceremony at all when we got married, all we did was paperwork, that took us about 7 months to get everything done, hahaha With the gun issue, I totally understand where you're coming from. I know we won't be having any guns in our home, even out of nostalgia, but for me it's not to say if someone can or can't have one. My husband asked me if my dad had a gun in their home, and I said I'm probably sure he has a rifle some where locked up, unloaded, and my husband was a bit freaked out by even just that. Oh, and I'm so feeding any kids we have peanut butter, hahaha, I grew up on more healthy ones anyways that my dad would buy at the health foods store. Like I totally wish they had shops in France that can do freshly made peanut butter like they do at like Whole Foods, where you can bring in your own jar.
@Peter S I wasn't shocked by that either. My husband said any kids we may have would be going to public school no matter what. Even though say home schooling is technically allowed in France, he would never consider it as an option. I would probably do a compromise with giving birth, have it in a public hospital but pay for a private doula that speaks English and French.
you need a very good justification in France if you dion't want to send your child to school. And you wont do the teaching yourself anyway. It's an administrative hell
My husband is French. We live in California. He's an excellent gift giver, and is always down for a good party, even for American holidays he did not grow up celebrating. As he is getting older, he's settling more. But he's definitely down for festivities.
My husband and I are both American but I’ve realized I feel more European/French about many of these things. It leads to me feeling like I don’t belong. I get frustrated by how much junk we have here and that too few people care about quality of food. My husband and I had a lot of fights at the beginning of our marriage about Christmas gifts. I think we should have very few and focus more on experiences. My husband’s family is very different. I remember having a conversation with my husband and his mom about how I’d love to just take our kids on a trip for Christmas instead of gifts. My husband’s whole family travels a ton so they understood that. But we were talking about taking the kids to Iceland and my mother in law said even if she paid thousands of dollars to take herself, her husband, and her 5 kids to Iceland, she’d still bring a bunch of presents for them to open. My jaw just hung open in shock 😂. I think we celebrate way too much for holidays here. For instance, yesterday was Valentine’s Day and our kids came home with a huge bag of so much candy and treats. As a parent you’re expected to buy treats for every kid in your kids’ classes and it gets really expensive. I put my foot down and don’t do it. It’s obscene the amount of candy my kids got yesterday, and the amount of money all the parents paid. As far as guns my husband and I are on the same page. We have a gun but are incredibly safe about it so nothing can happen. With weddings, my husband and I are also both on the same page. We think it’s crazy how much people spend on weddings here and that most weddings are so over the top. We eloped and I’m honestly really happy about that. With our kids, we’ll tell them you can have 3,000$ and that can either go towards your wedding as just a drop in the bucket, or you can have that 3,000$ to go on an amazing trip with your new spouse. Thankfully we’re planning to move to Europe which is great because the older I get, the less I fit in here.
Peter S I definitely get what you’re saying in that all Europeans are not the same, but in all the European countries I’ve been to (9), none of them are as obsessed with over celebrating (particularly by spending so much money to buy “stuff”) as Americans. We’re planning to start in the U.K. and don’t know if we’ll stay there long term or not but we want to stay in Europe long term/indefinitely. I found out only a few days ago I’ve always been a dual citizen of the U.K. and US. My mom was born in England and we always knew that, but I thought I had to apply for citizenship to the U.K. Turns out, only my oldest brother did because he was born before 1983. Everyone born between 1983 and 2006 who has a parent born in the U.K. is a dual citizen. So my brother had to apply to be naturalized first, then apply for his passport, but my and my other siblings can all just apply for our passports right away. It’s so exciting! I just applied for mine a few days ago. My favorite places in Europe (that we went to) were England, Germany, and Switzerland. We have 6 kids though (blended family) so we think with me being a citizen and the fact that they speak English there will help with the culture shock and ease us into Europe.
You are so welcome here in europe , i do agree with you about the food, i am use to watch a programme on tv call live with 300 kg and I'll be honest with you it's crazy how people over there in the US eat. people can not even go anymore. and I had hoping for you and your husband didn't have weapons at home but when you move here you no longer need to have weapons at home. take care of your family sorry for my english
With America destroying all cultures and non liberal capitalistic economy and submerging the world in ads and merchandising there is few hope to see anything else in the 50 years to come.
@@thebigjul If you don't like it, you don't have to do it. It's not America's fault that you watch the movies and listen to the music. Go blame someone else for your small-minded little problems.
@@slidenapps sure I am a small-minded man of course, to point to the severe inequality of media and economic domination. Stay clean minded and don’t look at the context, USA are an innocent, care-taking and generous country.
I can relate to many of these! My French husband and I are both strictly against having guns in the home, but he is from the southwest where hunting is very prevalent so we are definitely not anti-hunting and believe hunting guns to be completely different from the kind of “protection” guns that can be bought in the US.
I am French, and although I agree that having a healthy, balanced diet is important, I don't really agree with your husband on the food part. Especially when visiting your country. The best part of visiting a different country is to try different types of food ! Eating "unhealthy" food a few days every year isn't going to kill you and no matter where you come from, food is such an important part of your culture, it takes you back to your country and your childhood, you shouldn't have to completely give it up. I live in London and I can tell you that every time I go back to France, I just gorge on cheese, bread and coquillettes (didn't even know I loved coquillettes that much, until I wasn't able to find them in England..). As for the wedding, of course there has to be good champagne ! But beer for the dancing part of the evening :)
most discussions with my french ex were about dinner time. I get hungry at 6 and he starts preparing at 8pm ... and I am very hangry by that point. Lovely video. I heard about asking the father first but I thought that was something made up for movies as it should not be the father's decision.
"11 days, 11 pounds" lol!! :) Nice video overall. I'm from Québec and I'm married with a russian girl and we live in Russia. The main difference that I had to overcome is the traditional or conservative conception about man/woman that is prevalent in Russia.
I think a lot of American men find that very appealing about non-western women. The only thing is that you have to hold up your end of that traditional relationship as a man. A lot of young guys don't even know what that means anymore.
I, American, met my French husband on Valentine's Day in real life after knowing him for a few months online but we STILL don't celebrate that day. We only celebrate our wedding anniversary along with other major holidays and birthdays. I didn't have any ideas about my wedding while my husband did. He MADE me get the big dress but we had a small wedding all the same. I thought it was a waste of money and I still think it was. I love that we spent our wedding together instead of greeting guests all night while he regrets not having a big thing to celebrate. Guns: never. We had our first child two years ago at a private clinic. My husband is still mad that we payed extra for it but I think I skipped out on a C-section because of it. This time, 33 weeks pregnant now, we are going public and it's a whole different experience. I feel better with the sage-femme than I did with the OBGYN at the private clinic but the rooms are just so small! I thought the private clinic was small but oh was I wrong! That is still one thing I have a hard time adjusting to in France about bedrooms. I want my master suite! Also, how are you dealing with the 41 week due date instead of the 40 week? I begged to be induced at 41 weeks because in my mind, I was already over by a week at that point and I was exhausted. I give my daughter a snack everyday after her nap. It varies but most of the time it is milk, fruit, applesauce, yogurt, or goldfish I got from my family. My husband will just give her candy, cookies, or anything that is easy and he has on hand. It really depends on the person. I still try to get him to stop giving her soda.
You do know that good French bread does make a great pizza base, too, I hope! Just pile on your goodies and stick it under the broiler for a few minutes - c'est phénoménal.
There are fighting and fighting. And so comes « kids education ». This is the number one endless fighting topic in our bicultural couple, even when we agree 😅
Hi Kate, really enjoyed listening to your "discussions" with your husband. I'm also married to a french man so we had a lot of the same discussions. I am actually the healthier eater amongst us so the fois gras, steak tartar and other delightful food items he enjoyed were not to my liking. We didnt really fight about this until our son was born. He wanted to stick a pacifier in his mouth whether he was crying or not, i wasnt raised with that type of parenting so "Hell no" also nursing he thought was "old fashion" hahaha but again Hell.... so there it went on but in the long run my husband let me do what I felt was right and didnt argue when I asked him not to smoke in the house even before he was born. Eveything else we compromised on. I actually didnt have a problem with his eating choices i just didnt want our son eating like that. hahahah but all and all my husband and I have come a long way
You said it, in the Us all is related to marketing and money. You are fighting upon things you want, not things you need. It boils down to the rest of the world is more le lates to being than having. Your husband is more objective and realistic. Cultural differences here displays that Europe is connected to reality, the us is connecting to conditioning growth and business. As a French Canadian I am well placed to see, chose and compair UsVsFrance , rest assure that we tend to go with France, they have a real culture and know how. Cheers!
A lot of what you say is true. He's much more objective than I am and completely realistic. But sometimes it's hard not to want the flash that I grew up with from time to time! And i think you are very luck as a French Canadian. Really the best of both worlds!
The gift thing is so interesting. I (American) never really got a lot of gifts at Christmas, but stockings were a huge thing. My mom would collect little treasures from our travels that year or buy nice little lotions, etc. And for the past 10 years my whole family has transitioned to just buying one gift per person and doing a gift exchange (it helps that we have similar tastes and you can also pick your own gift). For me gifts are about the thought put into it, regardless of the price or quantity. My French partner’s family gets gifts for everyone and they often don’t seem to be personal or special, just something you needed to get to cross off your list. I have had to really insist to my partner’s family that I don’t want any gifts! If they want to get something, write a nice card.
Hah...viewing this 2 months late but finding it so funny that I'm married to a Singaporean but we fight over similar things...Every time I have swedish fish my husband is baffled at how I could knowingly consume "red #40"-- the food coloring used as an ingredient. Married 14 years yet every valentine's day my husband doesn't understand why I need it to be a special day. At least now I get birthday and Christmas presents without having to remind him way in advance. So you win some & lose some!
Happy Valentine’s Day . It’s fun to celebrate things. You can be creative and not spend money. It’s the little things. People like getting gifts, big or small. Americans are generous and fun people don’t ever apologize for that. Yes we do go overboard at times, but who cares? ❤️ Have a great day. Great content.
christmas is a cultural thing now that has almost nothing to do with religion (in france i'm speaking). i'm jewish and we always had a tree for a christmas, same for atheists and muslims
Christmas isn’t religious it was a solstice celebration and also newton birthdate. But as the Christ is a delusional character that was never born it can’t be his fate of birth. Then Santa is hundred years old Coca-Cola marketing gremlin and no religious figure at all. St Nicolas was but it is the 5th December (and this was the Christian holiday)
Every week I feel you are spying on my marriage and reporting on it. LOL. My Midwestern wife is obsessed with pizza and I would sell an organ for a good baguette. I remember the first time I took her to France. She was crabby, pregnant and hungry, waiting for a connecting flight in Paris. Charles De Gaule airport actually had a Pizza Hut at the time so naturally she made a beeline for it. At the counter I had to explain to her there is no pepperoni in french pizzerias- not even Pizza Hut. I think that was the closest we ever got to a divorce...
Je suis français, et normalement tout le monde ici devrait savoir ce qu'est une "madeleine de Proust". Donc en tant que français, je comprends parfaitement que vous puissiez avoir la vôtre (ou plutôt les vôtres), même si il s'agit d'une pizza ( ...Sic !), d'une tartine de beurre de cacahuète ( ...re Sic !) ou d'un hamburger (Arrrrrgh ! ...hahaha ! I'm kidding of course, I love big mac ...."The Big Mac"! lol). Mais pour que cela reste un plaisir, et donc, "une madeleine de Proust", alors, il ne faut pas combler ce désir trop souvent. Pour ce qui est de l'alliance, il est vrai qu'ici, on se marrie plus souvent pour des questions de facilité administrative que pour établir un réel contrat "d'amour", et jurer sa fidélité, blablabla ...et encore moins devant Dieu. La France est un pays laïque, même si son histoire est versée dans le catholicisme. Le marriage est romantique mais tout le cérémonial vestimentaire et les coutumes d'un autre temps peuvent effectivement paraître un peu désuètes pour certaines d'entre-elles, ici en France en 2020.
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified Tout le plaisir est pour moi... :) J'espère ne pas vous avoir heurtée avec ma remarque sur le cérémonial du mariage et sur Dieu. Je parlais "d'une manière générale en France", je ne m'adressais pas à vous en particulier. :))
Wonderful vid!! Yes, a French woman I know here, southern CA, ❤️ our outdoor Christmas decorations and the bigger & kitschier the better😂 I recall my Dad explaining that Christmas in Europe is much different from USA; more low key, religious? , he was stationed in Germany near Ulm, in the 50s and is an immigrant son of Italy. Our suburban Christmas’ were like yours, real tree, trains, gifts from 🎅🏻
The first one - weddings - is what we've been dealing with lately. My French fiance actually asked me very nonchalantly, "What do you think about getting married?" and that was it. That was our proposal. I still don't have a ring and we get married in less than two weeks (we're eloping, it's happening pretty fast so I can't blame him). It's just... not what I expected. We haven't fought because I'm pretty reasonable, but I have dealt with periods of sadness. At the end of the day, I'm happy to be marrying him though, it's just hard when you've spent your whole life thinking, "This is the way it's going to be" and then it's not. It's funny though, in regards to food - we're the opposite. My Frenchie can eat pizza for every meal and I'm obsessed with baguettes and soup. He didn't even buy them until I started coming around.
Oh hell no. A marriage proposal is a huge moment and should be treated so. I'm far from the most romantic or sentimental guy in the world, but I proposed to my wife on a beautiful walking bridge overlooking the city and, very publicly, got down on one knee and asked her to marry me.
I’m french and honestly the french can be so annoying with food, of course it’s more balanced in France, but relax!!! My husband isn’t french thank God !! Like, it’s not gonna kill anyone to eat Cheetos!!! I totally agree with you that food is nostalgic..
hahahha glad to hear you're french and not too crazy about the bad food. I need to get Robin to act a bit more like you! We can eat healthy in real life, but a trip to the US calls for some cheetohs!
I'm an American. I grew up in California then spent 16 years in New York City. Both places where guns are seriously downplayed. Then I moved to Alaska, where I lived for 22 years (before ending up in the country of Georgia) and Alaska in Gun Country. And I was often disturbed by things that cheered up the Alaskans. A 16 year old boy shoots a big brown bear entering the families property, many of my friends cheered. I wondered why the bear had to be killed. But I eventually understood. Now I'm living in a country where so much is absolutely alien to me. My biggest culture shock was the holiday season. No Silent Night at all. Just noise and more noise, and it is a Christian country.
Oh I feel you on the gun issue. My husband is an urban European and I grew up in a Rural North American home. Like you and your husband, we agree on gun control policy. But my father also wants to pass down some family heirloom guns. My father and I talked about donating some of the guns to a museum but the law requires the guns be rendered unusable which my father doesn’t want. So, the debate of what to do these family heirlooms when the day comes remains ongoing.
Give them to police for destruction. There in france pump riffle have been forbidden, so people who had one owed send that to gendarmerie and it was destroyed.
We are also a French-American couple (also in Paris) and I feel exactly the same way about our wedding. Never again! It was a good test though to see if we were truly meant for each other. And I thought the same way as you about having kids and wanting to go the American hospital, until I looked up the price! Money continues to be a big theme in our arguments, even relating to the x-mas gifts! Every Christmas, I try to give gifts to his family of "similar value" because that is how I was raised and it wouldn't be fair/could be insulting if someone had a gift of completely different "value". But nope, my husband doesn't think the same way and just says "get whatever you think they like, if one is way more expensive than the other, who cares?!" This drove me crazy and continues to drive me crazy because there would be so much drama in America if you did that!
Personnaly in my family between my relatives we had make the choice to stop gifts in christmas between adult. Only kids. Because its was ridiculous. Often a unsufull gift like a book, gift card in a shop or a clothe. Something we can buy easily in a normal day. And that allow to have more money for kids so more big christmas gifts.
Watching the video, I could literally see the argument. 😂👍🏻 2:00 I know many French girls who have the same « old school » romantic approach about wedding, the family, the fiancé, the ring.... It would be like that in more traditional catholic families. Or XVIe arrondissement Paris style. 😂 But champagne is non negotiable, because champagne is synonymous with happiness in France. 😂 Beer is for watching soccer matches on TV with friends. 8:10 My uncle was a hunter. When he passed away, my parents were given his hunting guns. In the countryside many French families have hunting guns. This is a cultural difference between Paris and the countryside even in France. We even had a small political party in France which was called « Hunting Fishing and Traditions ». Many people in Paris are against hunting.
I am French and I practice sport shooting. Paradoxically I am not a fan of weapons. That's not what I'm looking for in shooting. I have the authorization to have my weapon at home, but I don't want it.
@@michaelthorn5161 but a live isnt a statistic... imagine someone want to commit a suicide. If he have gun at home , he do suicid, he is dead. If he dont have gun, he do suicid but have not likely to kill himself. Often suicid people can be saved and treated, and change his mind.
@@chrisbreizh29 I knew couple of people who committed suicide by means other than firearms. One jumped five floors to his death, the other took sleeping pills. In America over 50% of suicides are not committed with firearms.
Here's what we do being from 2 different cultures. The third way. Don't choose American or French go with Italian, Chinese or whatever else there is. Go see an Aussie Dr in Paris or something, do a Russian wedding or whatever. We also moved from a country different from us both.
Ah là, c'est sur, on n'aime pas les armes à feu en France et on n'aime PAS les chasseurs non plus. That was one of the reasons of separation between my husband and me. When we moved in together , he had zero guns. When I left him he had tons of guns, spent his time cleaning and shooting. One day coming back home, I found a hole in one of my dresses in the closet. He had an accident when handling one of his guns. So many deaths in the US because of accidents. So guns of any kind in the house? NO.
I got married twice (to an American each time). Each time, we did one wedding in France and one in the US. Now, they were not the huge, 30-thousand-dollar weddings that exist in the US. We just had a nice party (and saved ourselves massive amounts of money) on each side of the Atlantic. A very pleasant wedding in France can be done for 4000 Euros. It's not super fancy, but there's great food, entertainment etc, and everyone has a good time. I would recommend the dual-country wedding. This way, both families can attend at least one of the parties and both people get to meet the other side of the family. Sorry, but peanut butter and jelly is totally a learned thing. I've been in the US almost 30 years and I just can't. But then, give me Nutella and the jar will disappear within a couple of hours. LOL Too many gifts at Christmas? For sure. Kids are overloaded with "stuff" and don't appreciate any of it. They stop using most of them quickly. I don't think that's just a US thing, though. I've seen it in France too. I think it depends more on how you were raised. Guns: well, I'm still very French on that. Unless you are a hunter or in danger (like, the Mob is after you or you have a crazy stalker), I don't understand why anyone would have a gun or a rifle, not even for sentimental reasons. Even in my family's farms, I only ever saw a rifle when the person went hunting. Otherwise, the rifle was tucked away in a safe place and not on display. They're dangerous and most people should not touch them. I would never have one in a house with kids (so I completely understand your husband's position on that). I never felt the need for one (not even in the US). Frankly, if I didn't live in the US, the idea would never even cross my mind. For me, the dangers far outweigh any "benefit". So that's a big no-no. Not so easy to deal with what we carry with us and the new culture we live in. But in the end, a good talk and much love wins the day. Fun video! Thanks for sharing your experience. It's interesting to me to see how an American fares in France, while I've been doing the same in the US as a French person.
It is absurd how much we spend on weddings in the US, especially if you have to go into debt to do so. (Okay, we won't talk about Indian or Persian weddings)
Hi Kate, I’m really enjoying your podcasts and they’ve been helpful. A couple of things that might be cultural though not 100 percent have to do with philosophies on guns and Christmas. I lived most of my life in Michigan and they definitely love their guns. However, i was raised by a dad who didn’t like guns. Both of my parents are New England/NYC area. I’ve become someone pretty much from the time I can remember who abhors guns of any kind. I don’t want them in my house. I wish we could abolish them in the US. On Christmas presents, my parents were really indulgent with giving a ton of gifts. More as I got older did I start to feel that, like your husband, we have too much stuff and I prefer giving/receiving one gift. Even making the gift seems more meaningful because the person is putting their love and energy into it. Maybe these are just about me or maybe these are philosophies of some part of the population in the US. Who knows? But it is neat that these are considered national customs/philosophies of the French. :)
I feel like you guys can compromise in a way where your kids get the best of both worlds. For instance, you can do Christmas in France and have it be about quality family time, eating together and enjoying each other's company, and also do Thanksgiving in the US where your kids will experience the abundance and excess of it all. A child would be blessed to experience the best of France and the US.
I can relate to this video quite a bit. My wife's Irish, I'm French (we live in Ireland), and even though some of your comments don't apply to us (ie guns), there are so many things we don't agree on due to culture. Food is a big one for sure, religion is another one (she is from a VERY catholic family, whereas I wouldn't be. Kids' education is another one I'm not looking forward to... We've no kids (yet) but I can foresee many issues, where I would have a more "strict" approach, you-have-to-listen-to-your-father kind of way, and she'd have a more laid-back, we-have-to-discuss-and-compromise-with-the-kid attitude. We're already seeing some of it with our dog :) Great video!
Thanks! And we are totally already seeing the differences in how we want to educate with our 5 month old daughter. It's not unmangeable, but open honest communication seems even more vital in our bi cultural relationship than it was when I was dating americans!
God so true. When i m gone in ireland i was surprise how kids did speak to adult or were alone whiout adult around . Example, 5 young girl 8 to 10 years old go in restaurants burger alone. In ferry had a irish kids crying for his mother because he was lost. Racist French waiters said '' ils savent pas garder leurs gosses''. ''They dont keep their kid next them''. Kids are more liberty in english culture i think. But in france that become same also.
I’m married to a Frenchman, living in Britain…I can relate to all the differences, cards are a waste, presents are too much, food, but the worst for me is THE SHRUG! It drives me nuts !!!
i'm an American and I think holidays are somewhat silly......however, that doesn't mean that I won't participate, it just means that if I can't participate for some reason i don't even think twice about it...that includes Thanksgiving, New Years, Xmas etc. When I do participate its not for the sake of the holiday but rather to simply enjoy time with people I care for. As for Valentine's Day.....I think its yet another holiday that was invented by an industry trying to sell something and I actually find it a bit distasteful the way its become, among some people, as a competition among women for how much they can get their partner to give them. Do you know what I think is far more (or actually) romantic? Its when you create your own personal "Valentine's celebration" with your partner...not on a specific day but surprising them with something that will touch them emotionally in some way.....especially if its something they care about but which they might not know you know about them....show you are listening and interested etc. anyway, just my two cents. EDIT: to speak to the broader video topic.....during the last decade I've been lucky enough to interact weekly via a skype group with a group of friends from the US, GB and a few EU countries. whoever has time at the moment just pops up and starts talking. This has given me a window into various cultures....understanding of the use of english words...how those word hold change the context depending upon the discussion....and viewpoints about what we might assume are simple day to day world views. its been very interesting. what I'm learned is that my culture and all the other cultures have a lot of good points. I think on a personal level, i just continue with the habits of my culture when they seem to be best and then I adopt some of the things from other cultures when they seem best. Ok...this is an additional edit. There are a LOT of things I prefer the French way.....I think dating is a good example as I understand it. Something I don't think I could get over is....smoking. I used to smoke, i'm an ex-smoker....but now its not even something that I can ignore. its a show stopper. that would probably stop me from being able to move to France. still adding to this as I continue watching the video. an example of the french manner....as it has been explained to me......has to do with wardrobe. I'm unhappy with my wardrobe, i have a massive volume of clothes that i don't wear, I don't like and they are low-end quality. The exception are two items....I buy very nice socks and every year or two I throw them all out and buy brand new. I grew up poor and always had holes in my socks or they were stitched back together....no more, lol. the other item is my coat....at the advice of my french friend, I purchased a very high quality coat that was of a style that has been in style for decades and there is no reason to believe this will change. i'm very happy for that choice. I'd like to change my entire wardrobe with the idea that I was told is french....that its better to have a small wardrobe of very high quality clothes and take care of them and they will last a long time and choose things that can be easily paired together in various combinations. She told me that they will last much longer, you'll enjoy wearing them, they will fit better etc etc...and I trust this idea.
U look clever and not materialist. For smoke, the government do war against that now. Country have change. U cant smoke inside public. Cigarett packet is 10 euros value and grow 1 euro per year. Nicotin subtitudes price is free one month and half price after. Young people smoke less that 20 years ago. A lot smokers try to stop or use cigarett electronic.
I'm totally with you on the junk food - sometimes we've just got to eat it! And it's very true that the french don't see 'french unhealthy food' as being unhealthy. The biggest arguments I've had with my french boyfriend have always been around politics - in the UK it's something that's hardly talked about (Brexit is an exception of course), but in France it's everyone's favourite subject and if you don't have an opinion, you'd better form one fast!
Planning the wedding was the most easiest thing we had to do with my wife ( she is not from France). Every time we encounter something we did not like we said it was not possible for the other family. I do have this feeling that for US woman her view of wedding is something closed to Disney comception of wedding.😂 As a French even parisian I can tell your husband is quite the stereotype of the urban parisian 😂 the type we like to prank and make laugh about. 😁😂🤣 But about gifts I do share his opinions. Best wishes for your family!
As a kid growing up in Vermont, USA, from German parents, they never encouraged us to have guns, even though those around us loved their guns and especially their “dear hunting”. I’m glad I was raised this way. And to this day, I can’t justify people shooting animals that have done absolutely nothing to harm us. If animal or human, dying by shooting is a cruel way to die. I remember all the dead deer in the pickups driving by us during the hunting season. I think the hunting mentality in the USA has something to do with the conquering of the vast American frontier, which only explains some of it, because I’ve also lived in Canada (which is vast) but does not have this obsession with guns. Since living in Germany now for over 30 years I’m glad they also don’t have this obsession with guns.
The problem is to inherit it ... our french law is hard ... we have to think about demilitarizing the weapon if we don't intend to use it (officially).
@@maten146 quelle est la source de ce chiffre 30% ??? Parce qu'heureusement c'est quand même dans les campagnes qu'on a des armes de chasse, pas trop en ville :)
I think, at a lower level compromise in a couple is a reality even if we have grown in the same country, because every family has his differences in terms of habits or culture. I have recognise fights in my couple even if I'm a french woman maried to a french man. But in your case they are definitively bigger differences!
One man's opinion: the American way of doing weddings sucks. It is an institution loaded with emotion and cultural baggage. You couldn't invent a cultural event more perfectly designed to put stress on those involved, starting with the notion this will be the best day of your life. I'm not sure what differences exist between French and American ways of doing weddings, but it isn't a surprise you had trouble. MANY ordinarily sweet tempered folks are driven made by wedding arrangements.
I argue with a lot of French people (particularly those who seem to get mad when the topic of English comes up) but the more I learn about them the more I'm like "same".
Kate...no difference with me and my husband. He’s a plain old American man and refused to recognize Valentine’s Day as a day of love and romance. But our pastor helped to set him straight about 10 years ago. So now he’s better; but we in general don’t give each other expensive gifts so nothing like big bling here. We didn’t have arguments but he didn’t feel I needed to be acknowledged and it was a “fake” holiday, so lots of hurt feelings for a decade or so. Hubby is also not a great planner or gift giver..he just doesn’t know want to get me. So it’s more dinner and a card. 🤩 Also, we are Christians so we stopped celebrating the cultural version of Easter. We recognize it as the resurrection of Christ so we don’t do the “fun stuff” anymore. Same with Halloween. We also live in the country so no trick or treaters come to our house and no more little kids at home...so that’s a moot point. I get the cultural food issues. I read French Kids Eat Everything several years ago, so it was a good explanation of the different mindset about food and eating in France. I kind of raised my kids this way without knowing anything about this food philosophy. We stopped buying soda, started reading ingredient labels and making most things from scratch. It made a difference in of our health and well being. However new that they’re young adults, they eat stuff that isn’t good for them but are aware of what is healthy and none of them overeat from what I can see. My hubby has learned a lot and knows what is healthy but we look away when he wants to eat a bag of potato chips in one sitting or when I want to eat some milk duds! Portion sizes are the biggest problem for us...! Thanks for sharing your experiences. I love the “French way” and look forward to being able to spend some time there and immerse myself in the culture a little. I feel the same way about Christmas. It’s overwhelming; what is the point or purpose. And we ramp ourselves ui for an entire month, and it’s all over in 2 days! we realized we just bought stuff to give gifts for the holiday to “keep up”. We always got our kids what they needed or wanted over the year anyway, so why were we dumping more stuff on them?? We stated go scale back about 10 years ago. Now that they’re all grown, we do one small gift (like $25) for each and we enjoy the time together and having a meal together. They can buy what they like for themselves all year long like we do for ourselves. So for me, the company is the gift!
There would have been many of the of the same issues had you married an another American. My wife frequently says she feels sorry for the young women she knows who think that the wedding day should be the happiest day of her life. "If your wedding is the happiest day of your life, you have a sad life." Many Americans feel the same as your husband regarding guns. " Whatever you grew up with is normal." Many, if not most, Americans would consider asking a prospective father-in-law permission before asking the woman a little bizarre. I wish you luck in your marriage, but it is seems that it is not a French vs American issue as much as you vs the "other" issue.
Well... Some points are real cultural differences and some are more about your husband family culture. For example asking your father for your wedding is really strange to any French I think. But I don't think that you can have more gifts in your family that what you have in mine 😜. About guns, there is hunter in France and obviously, they have guns, I do not, but living in South West of France, I know people hunting. I live with, and married, a Chinese. Wedding are so different there that there was no possibility to compromise, we just had a French wedding, but I know my wife was disappointed about my proposal... and real cultural differences appears when we got a child... No difference were really hard to manage before that. Then, the real thing started...
I’m Canadian. But I’m so with robin about the public hospital vs a clinic. To pay a fortune for a clinic that’s no better than a hospital service that is already fully covered just so you could know the doctor in advance seems so trivial and like the biggest waste of money ever. And to put a fortune for a clinic and still not getting English service is even worse!! Here, we choose or get referred to a doctor who we see throughout our pregnancy. But seldom does “our” doc deliver our baby. When we go into labour we go to the hospital and it’s whoever is on duty that delivers baby. Since the doctor just comes in at the end , I couldn’t care less. It’s the nurses who we spend 90% of the labor and delivery with
In France, the only people who like and accept hunters are... hunters... ^^ And when you are not a hunter, you just wish that guns and rifles are completely prohibited !
@s__n_Ghs_w_J_g_r_v_ Prohibition does deter petty criminals, who are the majority of criminals and who the police has to deal with the most. And it's not just about how easy obtaining a gun is: prohibition removes an incentive for criminals to use guns themselves. When the victim you're robbing is unlikely to have a gun, you don't need to bother with a gun yourself. In turn, because the police knows you are unlikely to have a gun, they themselves become a lot less nervous when dealing with suspects and innocents alike. And a less trigger-happy police force is good for society in general. And of course it's not just criminals: no guns means no accidents, fewer succesful suicide, less deadly domestic violence etc.. Prohibition isn't meant to stop dedicated criminals and terrorists: it helps since everybody with a gun becomes suspect, but these people will always find a way... but since they're few in numbers and the police can deal with them just fine as and when needed, there's no need to impose guns on the rest of society just for them.
@s__n_Ghs_w_J_g_r_v_ Numbers are facts: in 2013, 10.6 deads with guns per 100 000 inhabitants in the USA and only 2.6 per 100 000 inhabitants in France. In France, 0.2 per 100 000 are homicides and 3.6 in the USA (the rest is suicides) meaning homicides by guns in the USA are 18 times more important than in France... Prohibition never prevented criminals to get guns but by making guns acquisition so much more complicated, it still reduces considerabely the odds of being killed by guns. Considering the fact that French police and justice would be overwhelmed by immigrants, I don't know where you got this information, but it's pure bullshit !!!! Our system has difficulties because the various governments these last 15 years cut into budgets and didn't hire the numbers of cops and gendarmes and magistrates needed...
As a French person I mostly share your husband's views, but man, if your girlfriend/wife wanna eat Cheetos, just let her eat Cheetos. I mean, you're an adult, and it's not like you're forcing him to eat them himself, or like you're feeding Cheetos to the baby! I also think that when it comes to pregnancy, the woman has a right to decide whatever she wants, no matter whether it makes sense to the father or not (as long as her decision is financially and practically achievable ofc). She's the one delivering the child, which is a very stressful experience, especially when living abroad. Some things go beyond pure rationality and the most important thing is that she feels at ease with the way that it is happening.
L’adjectif « versatile » est un autre cas de faux-amis ... entre le français de France et le français Québécois. Au Québec, nous faisons un « emprunt sémantique » à l’anglais américain... et utilisons ce mot pour qualifier une personne qui est polyvalente et qui a plusieurs cordes à son arc. Un Québécois qui traite un Français de versatile ... lui fait un compliment, mais ce dernier peut y voir une insulte!
As an American, I agree with your French husband regarding guns...(whatever kinds) & food. In fact, the more I hear about your cultural disputes, the more I'm beginning to believe I may have been French in a past life. LOL!
quick question don't you think that a lot of cultural differences are not necesarly about being american but about being midwestern? i'm asking because i read somewhere that there are more difference between someone living in a small town in a isolated part of some regions or even deep in any countryside and a parisian than a parisian and a newyorker.
I understand your husband point of view, but concerning the food topic I'm on your side. As a french living abroad, when I get the chance to visit my family in France, I would definitely go shopping for cookies, biscuits and unhealthy snacks I used to eat in my childhood.
I agree with him about shopping for an engagement ring together, but why argue about the private doctor who speaks English or harping about junk food? None of the French men I know were that critical or particular. Idk... seems like most of these are just your husband's idiosyncrasies rather than cultural differences. Anyway, the biggest cultural argument I've had with a boyfriend was about gender roles. He was Mexican and the oldest male in his household, so he was big on machismo. We did not last.
Hubbie is Jewish & I'm Pagan. At least we agree concerning Xmas .. lol The French don't like the conventions but I love how Americans organize giantly celebrations.
Love your blog.. ❤️ I’m English engaged to a French man.. but I agree with your husband on all points.. especially the guns and feeding children junk food..
hunting riffles are a big cultural difference, in France, between the country and city peoples. A lot of country people are yet hunters. But in cities, it's less understood. Part of my family live in the country and hunt. I don't. It's a change in the way of living.
City and country life always plays a big difference! Whenever i talk about my experiences in Paris as French, people are quick to say paris isn't france because its such a big city!
It is mind blowing how The peanut butter and jelly is deeply anchored in the US culture and I think it is the same across all the US states. The same at my home. It is THE delicacy...and sorry my American friends it is not tasty....tastes not only food wise are definitely shaped by the experienced we are exposed to.
I totally agree! Its really anchored in US culture and I think food is SO related to a certain experience or time in your life and so even if i don't love certain foods anymore, eating them sometimes just feels comforting!
I think the idea about having a hunting riffle in France is very personnal or familial but for many people having a hunting riffle is nor a probleme, especialy if it dosn't work anymore and for many it's impossible as well. And there also many people who just do not realy care, they don't have riffles but it wouldn't realy be a problem. It's very balanced and it depends a lot. (I saw that in my own family or friends with people having guns, other not having just because they don't need, they are not hunters or anything, and other absolutly not wanting in guns in the house)
Ah mon Dieu. Quel sujet. Encore hier, je regardais un reportage sur la culture américaine et l'amour. Comme ici à Montréal, dans les grandes villes américaines, il y a à peu près 50% des gens qui sont célibataires. Le reportage commençait avec tout le business de la demande à mariage jusqu'au coach du "dating" et se terminait par un mariage de gens de classe moyenne coûtant 100K$. Je crois que tout cela vient énormément des films américains. Mais les films, c'est de la fiction. La publicité joue un énorme rôle également. Les Américains sont constamment et de toute part bombardés par le message que le bonheur se trouve dans la consommation. Or, celle-ci n'est satisfaisante qu'à court terme. Le plaisir d'une pizza, d'un sondage chez Macdonald ou de la voiture de luxe est éphémère tandis que les tours de taille démesurés et les paiements pèsent lourdemmment sur la santé physique et morale des gens (diabète, haute pression artérielle, travailler plus pour payer ses dettes...). Personnellement, je pencherais davantage sur le côté français mais je peux comprendre aussi le côté nostalgique. Bien que je mange bien, il peut m'arriver de manger des macaronis avec le fromage en poudre. 😊 Pour moi, la culture américaine amène plusieurs dysfonctionnements en cherchant le bonheur constant et à court terme. J'admire la course du bonheur mais je ne crois pas qu'ils sont sur de bonnes voies pour y arriver. Imaginez toutes les souffrances de ce couple qui aura à rembourser ce 100 000$ pour une journée de rêve. Il est triste de penser qu'au nombre moyen de mariages par personnes aux USA, il est fort possible qu'ils seront encore en train de payer un mariage avant de d'emprunter de nouveau pour un second mariage. *** Je vis souvent un malaise aussi devant une émission comme The price is right. Savez-vous si les producteurs dd l'émission demandent aux gens d'être "hystériques"? Spécialement lorsque le prix est "A new car". Je trouve cela un peu pathétique les réactions. J'ai l'impression qu'il n'y a rien au monde, dans tout l'univers que ce New car. Est-ce j'exagère beaucoup trop? De voir cela comme la pointe de l'iceberg de quelque chose de tordu? Merci pour vos vidéos, elles me font bien rigoler. Vous semblez être une bonne personne, intègre et qui n'a pas peur de parler "des vraies affaires". Votre vidéo sur votre grossesse était un exemple éloquent et tellement drôle. Il esf
J'avais lu un truc comme quoi la culture américaine c'est une culture basée sur l'"entertainment" et la "instant gratification"! Le bonheur passe par la consommation. Tellement vrai (et triste^%)
As a European, I totally understand how your husband feels about that rifle. I also understand why it is disappointing to you. But it would be easier for me to get a satan statue in my room and start to worship it (lol) rather than have a gun in my home (especially with children living there). Just saying.
I am French from urban environment and I can say that I saw hunters rifles. They are completely different from what we used in the army ( I did my service national). Use of a weapon is a cultural thing as in some cultures you learn how to use it and when. But I can understand both views on the subject
Private clinic can better if you can afford it especially for delivery, I know there are people who had problems because the hospital wasn't that great. About guns it's really a more modern issue as French used to have more weapons but with time we have seem to chiken out on the issue as people moved to the city and grew soft. I grew up as a French with guns around and I have the opinion that a true democracy should have a sizeable portion of the citizenry armed.But that's just my personal opinion and many people do not feel the same.
I’m not sure we are allowed to have hunting rifle at house without having a hunting licence. I understand the point of view your family, I have nothing against hunting...but in any case you should check if you could have your father’s hunting rifle at your home in France, maybe not that easy with the legislation.
Anyway there is a lot of paperwork (export from US to Europe+ depending of the rifle cathegory, application for a possession permit, hunting permit, shooting license, or the registration in France), the regulation changes continuously getting tougher for law abiding citizens, so you must take care to keep up to date with the legislation so as not to find yourself in an illegal situation.
Great videos, and thank you for sharing your experiences on France and our culture. I am French married to a Colombian, so yes a lot of the topics you mention I can relate to some intercultural differences, however let me tell you, your husband sound to be a complete pri--. Sorry to tell you this, but come on he is mean when you try to make some effort, tightfisted regarding you giving birth knowing he will get reimbursed anyway, macho and unsecure to let you go work nicely dressed, bot letting you buy some food that you used to eat when younger, closed minded about cultural differences you have... It seams you can not get a compromise without having to argue with him. I am sorry but every time I do something I first try to think about what my wife and her culture like before saying or proposing something to her, I first think about her well-being and happiness. She is far from her culture because of me and have accepted my culture and french way of life, so I value the effort. I try to make her living in France as light as possible, always appreciate anything she do and would never even think of critisise her efforts. I do 250 km (we live far from big city) twice a month to get her some food/snacks from her country because she enjoys it, even if some of them I don't like nor find them healthy. As a future husband I consider it was up to me to accept her requirements for the wedding. I found the more I opened myself and embrace her culture the more she embraced mine, and now we basically live on a mixed-cultured standards at home. When abroad with her family I just enjoy doing things the way they do things, it would never cross my mind to creticize they way her family leaves/eat/party...(when in Roma live as a roman is the saying).
Thanks for the story about your and your wife! I love hearing about other bicultural couples and how they make it work! While you are of course entitled to your opinion, i don't think my husband is a pri--- but I really love how you have managed to make your wife feel so welcome in France. She's one lucky lady!!
I love the French take on gifts and holidays in general. I did grow up with all the decorations and gifts but over the years I have toned down the quantity of gifts and my family enjoys just getting together and the food and music of Christmad.
I think most people in the US have dialed back the crazy over-gifting. Partly out of economic necessity, but I think consumerism is down overall.
So, my husband is French and I'm American. This video was too real for us lol. When it came to the topic of Food and Christmas, we both got a kick out of that! It was refreshing to watch this because it really allowed us to reflect and say, "See, we're not the only ones." lol
So, one cultural difference that we both, don't necessarily argue about, but definitely laugh about is meeting people for the first time. My husband says that I (or Americans rather) tend to be overly friendly/familiar when making an acquaintance, whereas, he (as a frenchman) is not so quick to tell people his life story and become besties, haha. I've definitely toned that down a lot but when we come back to Texas, it all goes out the window. Another cultural difference are holidays for sure. Me being Mexican-American, we celebrate Dìa de Los Muertos, which was definitely something he was not accustomed to lol. He loved the food and décor but thought that the overall concept was sweet but a bit grim lolol. Now he's embraced that part of me a lot more and enjoys telling people about it lol. Love your vids!
Very cool, he should have an interest in your cultural traditions, food, and what a mix too as a
Mexican-American🥰
I agree with your husband “ unplug the Christmas 🎄 machine “ Less is more . I loved this video 🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷 My daughter is at Sorbonne for one year , lives in Montmartre & loves Paris !!!!
We live right by Montmartre too! What a lucky girl! My semester abroad in France completely changed my life...
Christmas is not the bad thing. It's the people who think decorating the tree is done right after Halloween or at Thanksgiving and they then throw the tree out on the street on Dec 25 by 2PM are the ones who are f***ing up Christmas. There are 12 days of Christmas and it STARTS on December 25.
As a French I can totally relate to the gun part. I would NEVER compromise on this one especially if I had kids.
Tout pareil ! :)
@@j-loosenfout67 I disagree as a french as well. The gun she talked had a family sense, it's a memory. Having an object coming from the grand-father is precious for the children. A gun with no ammunition in the house is not a risk of any kind. Remembering a time where hunting could be vital for the family to eat is not a bad thing in my opinion.
@@agabekarthur777AAA it's not a risk now but when the kids grow up he/she could find bullets quite easily. For me it's not worth the risk but I can understand why it can be sad for her to separate herself from that memory
@@anasthase100 ptdrrrr bois de l'eau
@@rachelec5061 - Les tisanes à la camomille, c'est bon pour ton hystérie.
When it comes to guns, it's true that there are a couple of million hunters in France, and they get a lot of slack because of their lobbying clout. But the rest of the population is overwhelmingly against having guns in the home, and to be honest, hunters are widely disliked because they often behave as though the countryside is their private hunting grounds. I grew up in a small village and, as a kid, there were months at a time when I couldn't go in the woods because hunting season was on and old guys in varying states of inebriation walked around shooting anything that looks vaguely like game. If you've seen the classic video by Les Inconnus, that gives you a good idea of what most French people think of hunters.
It's also true that in France we aren't too big on celebrations, especially when the occasion feels like a made-up corporate scheme to encourage us to buy stuff. As a culture, we tend to be inherently skeptical of that.
"It's also true that in France we aren't too big on celebrations, especially when the occasion feels like a made-up corporate scheme to encourage us to buy stuff. As a culture, we tend to be inherently skeptical of that." YES !!!
BTW Why the western societies are so feminine and "domesticated" nowadays? Having a weapon is so natural to me as man.
@@Ordo1980 Wow ... you need something (dangerous) in your hands to feel like a man ??
@@wir6228 Don't make a straw man argument pls. The causality is like this: I'm a man, so I like weapons. NOT the opposite (what you said): I like weapons and it makes me a man.
Weapons are useful to fight, to defend something etc. Things what are generally linked to men. Even young boys like fighting with sticks, wooden swords.
Ne raconte pas n'importe quoi
I'll defend public hospitals anyday cause they saved me from many troubles. But... duuude ! Were I married, and were my wife expecting, and if money is not a problem, there's no f-ing way I'd push for the option she doesn't like. Discussing the delivery, seriously, how could a man have the last say in this ? ^^'
Haha I totally threw that out in there in the argument. "You aren't delivering the baby so why do you have such a say in it!" 😂And i always go public for any other health needs. I've always had a great experience with the public care in France!
@@elg94 in YOUR opinion. I gotta defend her and totally agree that if she wants to feel emotionally and language wise safe and money would be no problem, why not to spend some extra? It's not allways about what's rational and based on "facts", but about what feels right and safe. Peace and love 😂
my mother, who was french, once worked for the american hospital in PARIS, as a doctor. She spoke english like a native french speaker who learnt english at school. Don't have too high expectations about the staff speaking good english. Have no expectation about them actually being american. The administratives are american. They recruit their staff where they can
I have trimmed way down on my gift-giving over the years, too. Even amongst my friends and family members, we're all trying to downsize and clear out the clutter - more and more - in our lives. For one sister, I got her a natural big tropical Hawaiian bouquet for the holidays (all the holiday colors but done with tropical leaves and flowers); for the other sister, I got a big cheese wheel of Spanish cheese: both would be gone after the holidays (no more extra clutter). For other friends, we skip gifts and just bring food or more exclusive wine as gifts. Most people I know of after 30 don't want / get into / need / appreciate / know what to do with lots of gifts that = lots of extra things sitting around in their flats or homes.
Love the idea of bringing food! You know that you'll eat, everyone will love it, and it doesn't last for too long in terms of space.
"Sometimes I just want a Cheeto." The name of my support group here in LA. A thing the French will never understand.
Haahah love it!
Oh, no way do I give those up, same with Frito!!🤣🤣🤣💕
I’ve been watching your channel for a while now and am part of a French/American couple myself. I’m not sure if you made a video so far about this but I’d be really interested to see a video about the ways that your American culture has influenced Robin and your family. It might be because we live in France and I haven’t seen that many around us that have a really positive view of American culture, but it’d be nice to see situations where he might of wanted to adapt to the American way of doing things
Great video! I’m French and I used to live in the US for several years. I totally agree with you on the food part, sometimes I miss Cheetos, Mac and cheese or a good sweet tea haha!
Hahaha. Your French husband is very down to earth and realistic. It's quite different from what the stereo type romantic French guys should be. 🤣
No, I am french man married to a Colombian, let me tell you he is just a complete pri.. mean and tightfisted husband, no French woman would accept to live with him, no compromise she basically tells that eather she accept his way of doing things or nothing.
@@johnmuthan286 he's a real man !
That's exactly what he would say! Down to earth and realistic :)
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified I am French, my wife American. What helps to compromise is that I have lived 10 years in England (80's and 90's), and know what it is to be in a different culture. Your husband needs to travel or live in a foreign country to understand a bit more naturally your need. To me, he seems very unreasonable although I exactly know where he comes from. I could have been there.
Should be or it's a lie since the beginning ..
Hi! Concerning the kids, I strongly believe that they cannot miss what they never had, to some extent of course.
I understand that you used to love peanut butter and crackers and piles of gifts, but your kids will not be sad or feel deprived if they do not get these things. As adults they will love what they had as kids.
If it is not too rude (sorry I'm French) I would say one should may be not project their own taste (what they love) upon their children.
Your children will have it all: your American enthusiasm and positivity and their French father"s diet and anti-consumerism :P
and won't a french person be " projecting their own taste upon their children " ?
@@anastasia10017 this exactly. This french person follows the stereotype.... snobbish
@@anastasia10017 such as....
I would love to see a video of what you eat in France every day over the course of a week.
I moved to France to be with my boyfriend and we definitely have tension when it comes to food. Canadian vrs French food. Yes my boyfriend feels the same about Christmas and the mass amount of gifts. I do agree with the view less gifts and make it more about the personal. I honestly never thought that you could fight over the most stupidest stuff but when you feel like your culture is being squashed or tested it’s so easy to get your back up about it. I never had a clue how different French/Canadian cultures were. It’s like night and day.
I completely agree. Whenever you feel like a part of your culture is being squashed, it almost becomes an identity thing and you can totally freak out for the smallest stuff!!
thats a great way to look at it! Don't compromise per say, but a little bit of both.
I totally agree! I recently started dating a french guy… he is so sweet and nice but we fight over the craziest things 😰 if i didn’t like him so much i would probably quit now.. how was your experience dating a French boy? I would love your input !
@@IamSorellePasso for us the tension
Comes in how we communicate. French ppl express themselves very differently than Canadians so this causes friction. Also the language barrier where when I say something he can translate it into French and it means something not the same. Or when he applies his French directly to English it won’t make sense so I have to ask him again or say I don’t understand b/c it doesn’t make sense. Then he gets defensive as English is not his first language…. Oh the joys of loving a person of a different culture 🤪
@@heatherheaney4060 they do communicate very differently than us canadians.. i am just trying to figure out if it gets easier/better with time!
Did it get better for you and your partner?
You should have done the same as I did for my wedding : go to the city hall with the witnesses, sign the form and go back home.
Hi Kate! Fun video and a lot to relate to here, as I'm also married to a French guy. Re: Food, we still argue about dinnertime. For him, dinner is 8pm and for me 7 or 7:30 just feels more natural (especially on a lazy Sunday) since I go to bed on the early side. Ahhh, the struggle is real! ;-)
Thanks! Dinner time absolutely brings squabbles from time to time for us too!!
The pizza thing made me laugh so hard. I was waiting for you to mention how baguette and cheese is basically an unassembled pizza. But it's so interesting that he gained 11 lbs over a short visit to the US. That's a lot! It's true that Christmas overload or overconsuming in general is gross and hard on the psyche and I'm absolutely behind him with being more spare and appreciating more. ;) xo from Canada
it's not the amount of food, it is all the additives, sugar and hormones that is added to the food in the US. Every European that moves to the US gains 10lbs immediately and when they go home for vacation, they eat a lot and lose weight. The US has an obesity problem because all our food has additives and hormones.
@@anastasia10017 Am I the only one to have lost weight in the United States? It's so sweet and tasteless, I could hardly eat anything...
🤣🤣🤣 and unassembled pizza!
Love ❤️ your strong desire to celebrate 🎉 Halloween 🎃 & St Patricks 🍀 Day in France 🇫🇷 😂😂😂
Halloween is a little bit more tricky than Saint Patrick's day. There is a great Irish community in paris to celebrate that holiday :)
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified any alcohol related holiday would take anywhere i think.
The hunting riffle is not a culture shock, it’s a personal opinion! There are plenty of hunters in France! Keeping a hand gun in your bedside draw would be more of a cultural difference!
hahaha i don't think that would fly either!
Not a lot dude!
You must love your husband very much. You did integrate very fast ! Hope it's not too hard ( It must have been hard sometimes I presume). I'm positively amazed by how you do things and how you push yourself to figure out french moral point of views on multiple things :) congrats. That's proof of open-mindedness.
these are almost exactly the same "fights" I've had with my husband, hahahaha, I'm from the States and he's French. We haven't had the wedding disputes though because we didn't have a wedding when we got married, though we might have one in a few years, but we're basically on the same page of basically what we want for our wedding, it's gonna be more of small fights with his French family (and French people on my side too) telling us what we can and can't do and what we have to do for a French wedding. But I do think it's cool that the Mairie can do vow renewals that make it look like you're getting married for the first time, which will be nice because we didn't have a ceremony at all when we got married, all we did was paperwork, that took us about 7 months to get everything done, hahaha
With the gun issue, I totally understand where you're coming from. I know we won't be having any guns in our home, even out of nostalgia, but for me it's not to say if someone can or can't have one. My husband asked me if my dad had a gun in their home, and I said I'm probably sure he has a rifle some where locked up, unloaded, and my husband was a bit freaked out by even just that.
Oh, and I'm so feeding any kids we have peanut butter, hahaha, I grew up on more healthy ones anyways that my dad would buy at the health foods store. Like I totally wish they had shops in France that can do freshly made peanut butter like they do at like Whole Foods, where you can bring in your own jar.
@Peter S I wasn't shocked by that either. My husband said any kids we may have would be going to public school no matter what. Even though say home schooling is technically allowed in France, he would never consider it as an option.
I would probably do a compromise with giving birth, have it in a public hospital but pay for a private doula that speaks English and French.
Just wait until the kids come Emilie, it definitely adds another layer to the complications of bicultural families but it's SO FUN too :)
you need a very good justification in France if you dion't want to send your child to school. And you wont do the teaching yourself anyway. It's an administrative hell
My husband is French. We live in California. He's an excellent gift giver, and is always down for a good party, even for American holidays he did not grow up celebrating. As he is getting older, he's settling more. But he's definitely down for festivities.
Good to hear! I'll eventually change Robin's way of thinking 😂
My husband and I are both American but I’ve realized I feel more European/French about many of these things. It leads to me feeling like I don’t belong. I get frustrated by how much junk we have here and that too few people care about quality of food. My husband and I had a lot of fights at the beginning of our marriage about Christmas gifts. I think we should have very few and focus more on experiences. My husband’s family is very different. I remember having a conversation with my husband and his mom about how I’d love to just take our kids on a trip for Christmas instead of gifts. My husband’s whole family travels a ton so they understood that. But we were talking about taking the kids to Iceland and my mother in law said even if she paid thousands of dollars to take herself, her husband, and her 5 kids to Iceland, she’d still bring a bunch of presents for them to open. My jaw just hung open in shock 😂. I think we celebrate way too much for holidays here. For instance, yesterday was Valentine’s Day and our kids came home with a huge bag of so much candy and treats. As a parent you’re expected to buy treats for every kid in your kids’ classes and it gets really expensive. I put my foot down and don’t do it. It’s obscene the amount of candy my kids got yesterday, and the amount of money all the parents paid. As far as guns my husband and I are on the same page. We have a gun but are incredibly safe about it so nothing can happen. With weddings, my husband and I are also both on the same page. We think it’s crazy how much people spend on weddings here and that most weddings are so over the top. We eloped and I’m honestly really happy about that. With our kids, we’ll tell them you can have 3,000$ and that can either go towards your wedding as just a drop in the bucket, or you can have that 3,000$ to go on an amazing trip with your new spouse. Thankfully we’re planning to move to Europe which is great because the older I get, the less I fit in here.
I'm always glad to meet Americans keeping eyes open ^_^ Not too hard to be a rebel in this society ? ;-D
Peter S I definitely get what you’re saying in that all Europeans are not the same, but in all the European countries I’ve been to (9), none of them are as obsessed with over celebrating (particularly by spending so much money to buy “stuff”) as Americans. We’re planning to start in the U.K. and don’t know if we’ll stay there long term or not but we want to stay in Europe long term/indefinitely. I found out only a few days ago I’ve always been a dual citizen of the U.K. and US. My mom was born in England and we always knew that, but I thought I had to apply for citizenship to the U.K. Turns out, only my oldest brother did because he was born before 1983. Everyone born between 1983 and 2006 who has a parent born in the U.K. is a dual citizen. So my brother had to apply to be naturalized first, then apply for his passport, but my and my other siblings can all just apply for our passports right away. It’s so exciting! I just applied for mine a few days ago. My favorite places in Europe (that we went to) were England, Germany, and Switzerland. We have 6 kids though (blended family) so we think with me being a citizen and the fact that they speak English there will help with the culture shock and ease us into Europe.
Peter S so true. But just the fact that it’s so much cheaper and closer to travel within Europe is more than worth it.
You are so welcome here in europe , i do agree with you about the food, i am use to watch a programme on tv call live with 300 kg and I'll be honest with you it's crazy how people over there in the US eat. people can not even go anymore. and I had hoping for you and your husband didn't have weapons at home but when you move here you no longer need to have weapons at home. take care of your family sorry for my english
aurelie collie is that actually true about guns? I’ve heard that people who live out in the country/more rural areas are allowed hunting rifles
I married an American girl and we've had our differences. The word the summarize negative aspects of American culture is gluttony.
Prior to WW II French culture was sharply different from US. As time marches on the difference seems to lessen.
With Globalization, i feel like the differences get less and less everywhere!
With America destroying all cultures and non liberal capitalistic economy and submerging the world in ads and merchandising there is few hope to see anything else in the 50 years to come.
@@thebigjul If you don't like it, you don't have to do it. It's not America's fault that you watch the movies and listen to the music. Go blame someone else for your small-minded little problems.
@@slidenapps sure I am a small-minded man of course, to point to the severe inequality of media and economic domination. Stay clean minded and don’t look at the context, USA are an innocent, care-taking and generous country.
@@thebigjul ce sel 🧂😭 mais oui perso je préfère la Chine mais faut avouer que les USA sont plutot forts
I can relate to many of these! My French husband and I are both strictly against having guns in the home, but he is from the southwest where hunting is very prevalent so we are definitely not anti-hunting and believe hunting guns to be completely different from the kind of “protection” guns that can be bought in the US.
A shotgun is probably the best home defense gun for regular people anyway. Jack of all trades.
I am French, and although I agree that having a healthy, balanced diet is important, I don't really agree with your husband on the food part. Especially when visiting your country. The best part of visiting a different country is to try different types of food ! Eating "unhealthy" food a few days every year isn't going to kill you and no matter where you come from, food is such an important part of your culture, it takes you back to your country and your childhood, you shouldn't have to completely give it up. I live in London and I can tell you that every time I go back to France, I just gorge on cheese, bread and coquillettes (didn't even know I loved coquillettes that much, until I wasn't able to find them in England..).
As for the wedding, of course there has to be good champagne ! But beer for the dancing part of the evening :)
most discussions with my french ex were about dinner time. I get hungry at 6 and he starts preparing at 8pm ... and I am very hangry by that point. Lovely video. I heard about asking the father first but I thought that was something made up for movies as it should not be the father's decision.
Maybe we are not fat because we wait before eating...
You mention Ex, and to be honest I feel sorry for her being a French man married to a foreigner, the guy is just mean and tightfisted.
That would be so hard since I like to fast, so early dinner is crucial. I would definitely fight lol
dinner time is def. a good one!!
"11 days, 11 pounds" lol!! :) Nice video overall. I'm from Québec and I'm married with a russian girl and we live in Russia. The main difference that I had to overcome is the traditional or conservative conception about man/woman that is prevalent in Russia.
Russia and Canada would definitely be a big difference!
I think a lot of American men find that very appealing about non-western women. The only thing is that you have to hold up your end of that traditional relationship as a man. A lot of young guys don't even know what that means anymore.
I, American, met my French husband on Valentine's Day in real life after knowing him for a few months online but we STILL don't celebrate that day. We only celebrate our wedding anniversary along with other major holidays and birthdays.
I didn't have any ideas about my wedding while my husband did. He MADE me get the big dress but we had a small wedding all the same. I thought it was a waste of money and I still think it was. I love that we spent our wedding together instead of greeting guests all night while he regrets not having a big thing to celebrate.
Guns: never.
We had our first child two years ago at a private clinic. My husband is still mad that we payed extra for it but I think I skipped out on a C-section because of it. This time, 33 weeks pregnant now, we are going public and it's a whole different experience. I feel better with the sage-femme than I did with the OBGYN at the private clinic but the rooms are just so small! I thought the private clinic was small but oh was I wrong! That is still one thing I have a hard time adjusting to in France about bedrooms. I want my master suite!
Also, how are you dealing with the 41 week due date instead of the 40 week? I begged to be induced at 41 weeks because in my mind, I was already over by a week at that point and I was exhausted.
I give my daughter a snack everyday after her nap. It varies but most of the time it is milk, fruit, applesauce, yogurt, or goldfish I got from my family. My husband will just give her candy, cookies, or anything that is easy and he has on hand. It really depends on the person. I still try to get him to stop giving her soda.
You do know that good French bread does make a great pizza base, too, I hope! Just pile on your goodies and stick it under the broiler for a few minutes - c'est phénoménal.
hahah good idea!
There are fighting and fighting. And so comes « kids education ». This is the number one endless fighting topic in our bicultural couple, even when we agree 😅
Hi Kate, really enjoyed listening to your "discussions" with your husband. I'm also married to a french man so we had a lot of the same discussions. I am actually the healthier eater amongst us so the fois gras, steak tartar and other delightful food items he enjoyed were not to my liking. We didnt really fight about this until our son was born. He wanted to stick a pacifier in his mouth whether he was crying or not, i wasnt raised with that type of parenting so "Hell no" also nursing he thought was "old fashion" hahaha but again Hell.... so there it went on but in the long run my husband let me do what I felt was right and didnt argue when I asked him not to smoke in the house even before he was born. Eveything else we compromised on. I actually didnt have a problem with his eating choices i just didnt want our son eating like that. hahahah but all and all my husband and I have come a long way
Foie gras...tears. Poor animals. I hope they make it illegal everywhere very soon.
You said it, in the Us all is related to marketing and money. You are fighting upon things you want, not things you need. It boils down to the rest of the world is more le lates to being than having. Your husband is more objective and realistic. Cultural differences here displays that Europe is connected to reality, the us is connecting to conditioning growth and business. As a French Canadian I am well placed to see, chose and compair UsVsFrance , rest assure that we tend to go with France, they have a real culture and know how. Cheers!
A lot of what you say is true. He's much more objective than I am and completely realistic. But sometimes it's hard not to want the flash that I grew up with from time to time! And i think you are very luck as a French Canadian. Really the best of both worlds!
The gift thing is so interesting. I (American) never really got a lot of gifts at Christmas, but stockings were a huge thing. My mom would collect little treasures from our travels that year or buy nice little lotions, etc. And for the past 10 years my whole family has transitioned to just buying one gift per person and doing a gift exchange (it helps that we have similar tastes and you can also pick your own gift). For me gifts are about the thought put into it, regardless of the price or quantity. My French partner’s family gets gifts for everyone and they often don’t seem to be personal or special, just something you needed to get to cross off your list. I have had to really insist to my partner’s family that I don’t want any gifts! If they want to get something, write a nice card.
omg i actually LOLED my french husband is the exact same in the grocery store with the stupid app!
I really agree with the food arguments its frustrating!!!
The WORST! 😂
About St Patrick, come in brittany, as Celt region there is many people celebrating it, even some Fest Noz about it ;P
As a Canadian, not from Quebec, I agree with your husband on everything
Hah...viewing this 2 months late but finding it so funny that I'm married to a Singaporean but we fight over similar things...Every time I have swedish fish my husband is baffled at how I could knowingly consume "red #40"-- the food coloring used as an ingredient. Married 14 years yet every valentine's day my husband doesn't understand why I need it to be a special day. At least now I get birthday and Christmas presents without having to remind him way in advance. So you win some & lose some!
Happy Valentine’s Day . It’s fun to celebrate things. You can be creative and not spend money. It’s the little things. People like getting gifts, big or small. Americans are generous and fun people don’t ever apologize for that. Yes we do go overboard at times, but who cares? ❤️ Have a great day. Great content.
Thanks so much!!
My French bf told me he didn’t do valentines but then he sent me flowers. He also isn’t Christian but makes Christmas very special❤️
christmas is a cultural thing now that has almost nothing to do with religion (in france i'm speaking). i'm jewish and we always had a tree for a christmas, same for atheists and muslims
Same here, French, absolutely love Christmas for the coziness of it all but I am 100% atheist
Always sweet when someone makes an effort because they know its important to you!!
Christmas isn’t religious it was a solstice celebration and also newton birthdate. But as the Christ is a delusional character that was never born it can’t be his fate of birth. Then Santa is hundred years old Coca-Cola marketing gremlin and no religious figure at all. St Nicolas was but it is the 5th December (and this was the Christian holiday)
thebigjul come on, Sheldon, get out of this body.
Every week I feel you are spying on my marriage and reporting on it. LOL.
My Midwestern wife is obsessed with pizza and I would sell an organ for a good baguette.
I remember the first time I took her to France.
She was crabby, pregnant and hungry, waiting for a connecting flight in Paris.
Charles De Gaule airport actually had a Pizza Hut at the time so naturally she made a beeline for it.
At the counter I had to explain to her there is no pepperoni in french pizzerias- not even Pizza Hut.
I think that was the closest we ever got to a divorce...
ahahha this is HILARIOUS! I just read it out to my husband. 😂 What i'm most interested in is why did CDG get rid of that pizza hut!!!
Je suis français, et normalement tout le monde ici devrait savoir ce qu'est une "madeleine de Proust". Donc en tant que français, je comprends parfaitement que vous puissiez avoir la vôtre (ou plutôt les vôtres), même si il s'agit d'une pizza ( ...Sic !), d'une tartine de beurre de cacahuète ( ...re Sic !) ou d'un hamburger (Arrrrrgh ! ...hahaha ! I'm kidding of course, I love big mac ...."The Big Mac"! lol).
Mais pour que cela reste un plaisir, et donc, "une madeleine de Proust", alors, il ne faut pas combler ce désir trop souvent.
Pour ce qui est de l'alliance, il est vrai qu'ici, on se marrie plus souvent pour des questions de facilité administrative que pour établir un réel contrat "d'amour", et jurer sa fidélité, blablabla ...et encore moins devant Dieu. La France est un pays laïque, même si son histoire est versée dans le catholicisme.
Le marriage est romantique mais tout le cérémonial vestimentaire et les coutumes d'un autre temps peuvent effectivement paraître un peu désuètes pour certaines d'entre-elles, ici en France en 2020.
Vous m'avez appris la phrase "Madeleine de Proust!"
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified Tout le plaisir est pour moi... :) J'espère ne pas vous avoir heurtée avec ma remarque sur le cérémonial du mariage et sur Dieu. Je parlais "d'une manière générale en France", je ne m'adressais pas à vous en particulier. :))
Tu te maries pas par amour ?
You betray people so !
Scandalous and not the case of people no !
Wonderful vid!! Yes, a French woman I know here, southern CA, ❤️ our outdoor Christmas decorations and the bigger & kitschier the better😂 I recall my Dad explaining that Christmas in Europe is much different from USA; more low key, religious? , he was stationed in Germany near Ulm, in the 50s and is an immigrant son of Italy. Our suburban Christmas’ were like yours, real tree, trains, gifts from 🎅🏻
The first one - weddings - is what we've been dealing with lately. My French fiance actually asked me very nonchalantly, "What do you think about getting married?" and that was it. That was our proposal. I still don't have a ring and we get married in less than two weeks (we're eloping, it's happening pretty fast so I can't blame him). It's just... not what I expected. We haven't fought because I'm pretty reasonable, but I have dealt with periods of sadness. At the end of the day, I'm happy to be marrying him though, it's just hard when you've spent your whole life thinking, "This is the way it's going to be" and then it's not. It's funny though, in regards to food - we're the opposite. My Frenchie can eat pizza for every meal and I'm obsessed with baguettes and soup. He didn't even buy them until I started coming around.
Oh hell no. A marriage proposal is a huge moment and should be treated so. I'm far from the most romantic or sentimental guy in the world, but I proposed to my wife on a beautiful walking bridge overlooking the city and, very publicly, got down on one knee and asked her to marry me.
Every time my french friends criticize American eating habits I remind them of their awful smoking habits. 🤷🏻♂️
Though, interestingly, the French only smoke 7% more per capita than Americans
I don't smoke, my parents don't smoke, my brother don't smoke
At least we don't have this awful habits of praying
And tobacco is essentially produced and sold by the US to the world so...
Not all the French smoke though. And plenty of places have a lot of smokers.
I’m french and honestly the french can be so annoying with food, of course it’s more balanced in France, but relax!!! My husband isn’t french thank God !! Like, it’s not gonna kill anyone to eat Cheetos!!! I totally agree with you that food is nostalgic..
hahahha glad to hear you're french and not too crazy about the bad food. I need to get Robin to act a bit more like you! We can eat healthy in real life, but a trip to the US calls for some cheetohs!
I'm french too, and i prefer canned green peas to fresh green peas
Tu es une honte, sabrina
I'm an American. I grew up in California then spent 16 years in New York City. Both places where guns are seriously downplayed. Then I moved to Alaska, where I lived for 22 years (before ending up in the country of Georgia) and Alaska in Gun Country. And I was often disturbed by things that cheered up the Alaskans. A 16 year old boy shoots a big brown bear entering the families property, many of my friends cheered. I wondered why the bear had to be killed. But I eventually understood. Now I'm living in a country where so much is absolutely alien to me. My biggest culture shock was the holiday season. No Silent Night at all. Just noise and more noise, and it is a Christian country.
Its' interesting how you can feel like a foreigner in your own country just by moving to a different region!!
Oh I feel you on the gun issue. My husband is an urban European and I grew up in a Rural North American home. Like you and your husband, we agree on gun control policy. But my father also wants to pass down some family heirloom guns. My father and I talked about donating some of the guns to a museum but the law requires the guns be rendered unusable which my father doesn’t want. So, the debate of what to do these family heirlooms when the day comes remains ongoing.
Give them to police for destruction. There in france pump riffle have been forbidden, so people who had one owed send that to gendarmerie and it was destroyed.
We are also a French-American couple (also in Paris) and I feel exactly the same way about our wedding. Never again! It was a good test though to see if we were truly meant for each other. And I thought the same way as you about having kids and wanting to go the American hospital, until I looked up the price! Money continues to be a big theme in our arguments, even relating to the x-mas gifts! Every Christmas, I try to give gifts to his family of "similar value" because that is how I was raised and it wouldn't be fair/could be insulting if someone had a gift of completely different "value". But nope, my husband doesn't think the same way and just says "get whatever you think they like, if one is way more expensive than the other, who cares?!" This drove me crazy and continues to drive me crazy because there would be so much drama in America if you did that!
Personnaly in my family between my relatives we had make the choice to stop gifts in christmas between adult. Only kids. Because its was ridiculous. Often a unsufull gift like a book, gift card in a shop or a clothe. Something we can buy easily in a normal day. And that allow to have more money for kids so more big christmas gifts.
Watching the video, I could literally see the argument. 😂👍🏻
2:00 I know many French girls who have the same « old school » romantic approach about wedding, the family, the fiancé, the ring.... It would be like that in more traditional catholic families. Or XVIe arrondissement Paris style. 😂 But champagne is non negotiable, because champagne is synonymous with happiness in France. 😂 Beer is for watching soccer matches on TV with friends.
8:10 My uncle was a hunter. When he passed away, my parents were given his hunting guns. In the countryside many French families have hunting guns. This is a cultural difference between Paris and the countryside even in France. We even had a small political party in France which was called « Hunting Fishing and Traditions ». Many people in Paris are against hunting.
Your husband must br a city man. I grew up with 3 riffles in the house. Rural French way of life 🤷♀️
In america they can have war weapon practilly.
Can’t blame you for wanting Cheetos 🐯 & mac n cheese 🧀! 😂😂😂😂
I totally demolished both during our trip here this last week!
I am French and I practice sport shooting. Paradoxically I am not a fan of weapons. That's not what I'm looking for in shooting. I have the authorization to have my weapon at home, but I don't want it.
You are a wise man. One day my father said to me: Having a gun at home is that one day it will be used ...
J-Loo Senfout : wise father !
@@j-loosenfout67 Statistically only 1 out of 60,000 guns at home is used to kill someone. So your father is wrong.
@@michaelthorn5161 but a live isnt a statistic... imagine someone want to commit a suicide. If he have gun at home , he do suicid, he is dead. If he dont have gun, he do suicid but have not likely to kill himself. Often suicid people can be saved and treated, and change his mind.
@@chrisbreizh29 I knew couple of people who committed suicide by means other than firearms. One jumped five floors to his death, the other took sleeping pills. In America over 50% of suicides are not committed with firearms.
Here's what we do being from 2 different cultures. The third way. Don't choose American or French go with Italian, Chinese or whatever else there is. Go see an Aussie Dr in Paris or something, do a Russian wedding or whatever. We also moved from a country different from us both.
My wife is french and I am Italian.. works fine since 1987 . And I own guns :-)
hahah first time i've heard that one!!
Ah là, c'est sur, on n'aime pas les armes à feu en France et on n'aime PAS les chasseurs non plus. That was one of the reasons of separation between my husband and me. When we moved in together , he had zero guns. When I left him he had tons of guns, spent his time cleaning and shooting. One day coming back home, I found a hole in one of my dresses in the closet. He had an accident when handling one of his guns. So many deaths in the US because of accidents. So guns of any kind in the house? NO.
I got married twice (to an American each time). Each time, we did one wedding in France and one in the US. Now, they were not the huge, 30-thousand-dollar weddings that exist in the US. We just had a nice party (and saved ourselves massive amounts of money) on each side of the Atlantic. A very pleasant wedding in France can be done for 4000 Euros. It's not super fancy, but there's great food, entertainment etc, and everyone has a good time. I would recommend the dual-country wedding. This way, both families can attend at least one of the parties and both people get to meet the other side of the family.
Sorry, but peanut butter and jelly is totally a learned thing. I've been in the US almost 30 years and I just can't. But then, give me Nutella and the jar will disappear within a couple of hours. LOL
Too many gifts at Christmas? For sure. Kids are overloaded with "stuff" and don't appreciate any of it. They stop using most of them quickly. I don't think that's just a US thing, though. I've seen it in France too. I think it depends more on how you were raised.
Guns: well, I'm still very French on that. Unless you are a hunter or in danger (like, the Mob is after you or you have a crazy stalker), I don't understand why anyone would have a gun or a rifle, not even for sentimental reasons. Even in my family's farms, I only ever saw a rifle when the person went hunting. Otherwise, the rifle was tucked away in a safe place and not on display. They're dangerous and most people should not touch them. I would never have one in a house with kids (so I completely understand your husband's position on that). I never felt the need for one (not even in the US). Frankly, if I didn't live in the US, the idea would never even cross my mind. For me, the dangers far outweigh any "benefit". So that's a big no-no.
Not so easy to deal with what we carry with us and the new culture we live in. But in the end, a good talk and much love wins the day.
Fun video! Thanks for sharing your experience. It's interesting to me to see how an American fares in France, while I've been doing the same in the US as a French person.
It is absurd how much we spend on weddings in the US, especially if you have to go into debt to do so. (Okay, we won't talk about Indian or Persian weddings)
Hi Kate, I’m really enjoying your podcasts and they’ve been helpful. A couple of things that might be cultural though not 100 percent have to do with philosophies on guns and Christmas. I lived most of my life in Michigan and they definitely love their guns. However, i was raised by a dad who didn’t like guns. Both of my parents are New England/NYC area. I’ve become someone pretty much from the time I can remember who abhors guns of any kind. I don’t want them in my house. I wish we could abolish them in the US. On Christmas presents, my parents were really indulgent with giving a ton of gifts. More as I got older did I start to feel that, like your husband, we have too much stuff and I prefer giving/receiving one gift. Even making the gift seems more meaningful because the person is putting their love and energy into it. Maybe these are just about me or maybe these are philosophies of some part of the population in the US. Who knows? But it is neat that these are considered national customs/philosophies of the French. :)
I love her energy 💜
Thanks! 😍
My wife is from South America and she LOVES mac n cheese!
I feel like you guys can compromise in a way where your kids get the best of both worlds. For instance, you can do Christmas in France and have it be about quality family time, eating together and enjoying each other's company, and also do Thanksgiving in the US where your kids will experience the abundance and excess of it all. A child would be blessed to experience the best of France and the US.
That's a great idea! We'll have to try and find the both of best worlds!
I can relate to this video quite a bit. My wife's Irish, I'm French (we live in Ireland), and even though some of your comments don't apply to us (ie guns), there are so many things we don't agree on due to culture. Food is a big one for sure, religion is another one (she is from a VERY catholic family, whereas I wouldn't be.
Kids' education is another one I'm not looking forward to... We've no kids (yet) but I can foresee many issues, where I would have a more "strict" approach, you-have-to-listen-to-your-father kind of way, and she'd have a more laid-back, we-have-to-discuss-and-compromise-with-the-kid attitude. We're already seeing some of it with our dog :)
Great video!
Thanks! And we are totally already seeing the differences in how we want to educate with our 5 month old daughter. It's not unmangeable, but open honest communication seems even more vital in our bi cultural relationship than it was when I was dating americans!
God so true. When i m gone in ireland i was surprise how kids did speak to adult or were alone whiout adult around . Example, 5 young girl 8 to 10 years old go in restaurants burger alone. In ferry had a irish kids crying for his mother because he was lost. Racist French waiters said '' ils savent pas garder leurs gosses''. ''They dont keep their kid next them''.
Kids are more liberty in english culture i think. But in france that become same also.
I’m married to a Frenchman, living in Britain…I can relate to all the differences, cards are a waste, presents are too much, food, but the worst for me is THE SHRUG! It drives me nuts !!!
i'm an American and I think holidays are somewhat silly......however, that doesn't mean that I won't participate, it just means that if I can't participate for some reason i don't even think twice about it...that includes Thanksgiving, New Years, Xmas etc.
When I do participate its not for the sake of the holiday but rather to simply enjoy time with people I care for.
As for Valentine's Day.....I think its yet another holiday that was invented by an industry trying to sell something and I actually find it a bit distasteful the way its become, among some people, as a competition among women for how much they can get their partner to give them.
Do you know what I think is far more (or actually) romantic? Its when you create your own personal "Valentine's celebration" with your partner...not on a specific day but surprising them with something that will touch them emotionally in some way.....especially if its something they care about but which they might not know you know about them....show you are listening and interested etc. anyway, just my two cents.
EDIT: to speak to the broader video topic.....during the last decade I've been lucky enough to interact weekly via a skype group with a group of friends from the US, GB and a few EU countries. whoever has time at the moment just pops up and starts talking. This has given me a window into various cultures....understanding of the use of english words...how those word hold change the context depending upon the discussion....and viewpoints about what we might assume are simple day to day world views. its been very interesting.
what I'm learned is that my culture and all the other cultures have a lot of good points. I think on a personal level, i just continue with the habits of my culture when they seem to be best and then I adopt some of the things from other cultures when they seem best.
Ok...this is an additional edit. There are a LOT of things I prefer the French way.....I think dating is a good example as I understand it. Something I don't think I could get over is....smoking.
I used to smoke, i'm an ex-smoker....but now its not even something that I can ignore. its a show stopper. that would probably stop me from being able to move to France.
still adding to this as I continue watching the video.
an example of the french manner....as it has been explained to me......has to do with wardrobe. I'm unhappy with my wardrobe, i have a massive volume of clothes that i don't wear, I don't like and they are low-end quality. The exception are two items....I buy very nice socks and every year or two I throw them all out and buy brand new. I grew up poor and always had holes in my socks or they were stitched back together....no more, lol. the other item is my coat....at the advice of my french friend, I purchased a very high quality coat that was of a style that has been in style for decades and there is no reason to believe this will change. i'm very happy for that choice. I'd like to change my entire wardrobe with the idea that I was told is french....that its better to have a small wardrobe of very high quality clothes and take care of them and they will last a long time and choose things that can be easily paired together in various combinations. She told me that they will last much longer, you'll enjoy wearing them, they will fit better etc etc...and I trust this idea.
U look clever and not materialist. For smoke, the government do war against that now. Country have change. U cant smoke inside public. Cigarett packet is 10 euros value and grow 1 euro per year. Nicotin subtitudes price is free one month and half price after. Young people smoke less that 20 years ago. A lot smokers try to stop or use cigarett electronic.
Merci pour le partage
I'm totally with you on the junk food - sometimes we've just got to eat it! And it's very true that the french don't see 'french unhealthy food' as being unhealthy. The biggest arguments I've had with my french boyfriend have always been around politics - in the UK it's something that's hardly talked about (Brexit is an exception of course), but in France it's everyone's favourite subject and if you don't have an opinion, you'd better form one fast!
Je suis tellement pliée en deux à l'idée de ton mec en train de se balader dans les rayons aux USA avec l'appli Yuka !! so funny
Planning the wedding was the most easiest thing we had to do with my wife ( she is not from France). Every time we encounter something we did not like we said it was not possible for the other family. I do have this feeling that for US woman her view of wedding is something closed to Disney comception of wedding.😂
As a French even parisian I can tell your husband is quite the stereotype of the urban parisian 😂 the type we like to prank and make laugh about. 😁😂🤣 But about gifts I do share his opinions. Best wishes for your family!
As a kid growing up in Vermont, USA, from German parents, they never encouraged us to have guns, even though those around us loved their guns and especially their “dear hunting”. I’m glad I was raised this way. And to this day, I can’t justify people shooting animals that have done absolutely nothing to harm us. If animal or human, dying by shooting is a cruel way to die. I remember all the dead deer in the pickups driving by us during the hunting season. I think the hunting mentality in the USA has something to do with the conquering of the vast American frontier, which only explains some of it, because I’ve also lived in Canada (which is vast) but does not have this obsession with guns. Since living in Germany now for over 30 years I’m glad they also don’t have this obsession with guns.
Beer for a wedding should be forbidden! Champagne is definitely a must!
There are a lot of French families that have hunting rifles too...
The problem is to inherit it ... our french law is hard ... we have to think about demilitarizing the weapon if we don't intend to use it (officially).
30% des français ont une arme.
@@maten146 quelle est la source de ce chiffre 30% ???
Parce qu'heureusement c'est quand même dans les campagnes qu'on a des armes de chasse, pas trop en ville :)
I think, at a lower level compromise in a couple is a reality even if we have grown in the same country, because every family has his differences in terms of habits or culture. I have recognise fights in my couple even if I'm a french woman maried to a french man. But in your case they are definitively bigger differences!
One man's opinion: the American way of doing weddings sucks. It is an institution loaded with emotion and cultural baggage. You couldn't invent a cultural event more perfectly designed to put stress on those involved, starting with the notion this will be the best day of your life. I'm not sure what differences exist between French and American ways of doing weddings, but it isn't a surprise you had trouble. MANY ordinarily sweet tempered folks are driven made by wedding arrangements.
I argue with a lot of French people (particularly those who seem to get mad when the topic of English comes up) but the more I learn about them the more I'm like "same".
Kate...no difference with me and my husband. He’s a plain old American man and refused to recognize Valentine’s Day as a day of love and romance. But our pastor helped to set him straight about 10 years ago. So now he’s better; but we in general don’t give each other expensive gifts so nothing like big bling here. We didn’t have arguments but he didn’t feel I needed to be acknowledged and it was a “fake” holiday, so lots of hurt feelings for a decade or so. Hubby is also not a great planner or gift giver..he just doesn’t know want to get me. So it’s more dinner and a card. 🤩
Also, we are Christians so we stopped celebrating the cultural version of Easter. We recognize it as the resurrection of Christ so we don’t do the “fun stuff” anymore. Same with Halloween. We also live in the country so no trick or treaters come to our house and no more little kids at home...so that’s a moot point.
I get the cultural food issues. I read French Kids Eat Everything several years ago, so it was a good explanation of the different mindset about food and eating in France. I kind of raised my kids this way without knowing anything about this food philosophy. We stopped buying soda, started reading ingredient labels and making most things from scratch. It made a difference in of our health and well being. However new that they’re young adults, they eat stuff that isn’t good for them but are aware of what is healthy and none of them overeat from what I can see. My hubby has learned a lot and knows what is healthy but we look away when he wants to eat a bag of potato chips in one sitting or when I want to eat some milk duds! Portion sizes are the biggest problem for us...!
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I love the “French way” and look forward to being able to spend some time there and immerse myself in the culture a little.
I feel the same way about Christmas. It’s overwhelming; what is the point or purpose. And we ramp ourselves ui for an entire month, and it’s all over in 2 days! we realized we just bought stuff to give gifts for the holiday to “keep up”. We always got our kids what they needed or wanted over the year anyway, so why were we dumping more stuff on them?? We stated go scale back about 10 years ago. Now that they’re all grown, we do one small gift (like $25) for each and we enjoy the time together and having a meal together. They can buy what they like for themselves all year long like we do for ourselves. So for me, the company is the gift!
Hi! Thanks for sharing and love what you guys do for Christmas! Its way better to make it about the company rather than the gifts!
YUKA! J'adore cet app! Je l'utilise beaucoup pour mes achats!
Lol je ne l utilise jamais car soit je sais ce que j achete. Soit je lis la composition. 😁😂
There would have been many of the of the same issues had you married an another American.
My wife frequently says she feels sorry for the young women she knows who think that the wedding day should be the happiest day of her life. "If your wedding is the happiest day of your life, you have a sad life." Many Americans feel the same as your husband regarding guns. " Whatever you grew up with is normal." Many, if not most, Americans would consider asking a prospective father-in-law permission before asking the woman a little bizarre. I wish you luck in your marriage, but it is seems that it is not a French vs American issue as much as you vs the "other" issue.
Well... Some points are real cultural differences and some are more about your husband family culture. For example asking your father for your wedding is really strange to any French I think. But I don't think that you can have more gifts in your family that what you have in mine 😜. About guns, there is hunter in France and obviously, they have guns, I do not, but living in South West of France, I know people hunting.
I live with, and married, a Chinese. Wedding are so different there that there was no possibility to compromise, we just had a French wedding, but I know my wife was disappointed about my proposal... and real cultural differences appears when we got a child... No difference were really hard to manage before that. Then, the real thing started...
Ive heard raising kids makes everything else look like no big deal😂
Wedding in France it s a big party until 6 in the morning ans the meal will be delicious. When I see your vidéo I couldn't live in USA.
I’m Canadian. But I’m so with robin about the public hospital vs a clinic. To pay a fortune for a clinic that’s no better than a hospital service that is already fully covered just so you could know the doctor in advance seems so trivial and like the biggest waste of money ever.
And to put a fortune for a clinic and still not getting English service is even worse!!
Here, we choose or get referred to a doctor who we see throughout our pregnancy. But seldom does “our” doc deliver our baby. When we go into labour we go to the hospital and it’s whoever is on duty that delivers baby. Since the doctor just comes in at the end , I couldn’t care less. It’s the nurses who we spend 90% of the labor and delivery with
Tens of thousands of Canadians go to the Us every year for healthcare. Even former Prime Minister Jean Chretien went to the Us for healthcare. lol
In France, the only people who like and accept hunters are... hunters... ^^ And when you are not a hunter, you just wish that guns and rifles are completely prohibited !
I totally agree!
Yea, i can understand. A really polarizing topic!
@s__n_Ghs_w_J_g_r_v_ Prohibition does deter petty criminals, who are the majority of criminals and who the police has to deal with the most. And it's not just about how easy obtaining a gun is: prohibition removes an incentive for criminals to use guns themselves. When the victim you're robbing is unlikely to have a gun, you don't need to bother with a gun yourself. In turn, because the police knows you are unlikely to have a gun, they themselves become a lot less nervous when dealing with suspects and innocents alike. And a less trigger-happy police force is good for society in general.
And of course it's not just criminals: no guns means no accidents, fewer succesful suicide, less deadly domestic violence etc..
Prohibition isn't meant to stop dedicated criminals and terrorists: it helps since everybody with a gun becomes suspect, but these people will always find a way... but since they're few in numbers and the police can deal with them just fine as and when needed, there's no need to impose guns on the rest of society just for them.
@s__n_Ghs_w_J_g_r_v_ Numbers are facts: in 2013, 10.6 deads with guns per 100 000 inhabitants in the USA and only 2.6 per 100 000 inhabitants in France. In France, 0.2 per 100 000 are homicides and 3.6 in the USA (the rest is suicides) meaning homicides by guns in the USA are 18 times more important than in France...
Prohibition never prevented criminals to get guns but by making guns acquisition so much more complicated, it still reduces considerabely the odds of being killed by guns.
Considering the fact that French police and justice would be overwhelmed by immigrants, I don't know where you got this information, but it's pure bullshit !!!! Our system has difficulties because the various governments these last 15 years cut into budgets and didn't hire the numbers of cops and gendarmes and magistrates needed...
@@jukahri Your explaination completes mine perfectly ! ^^
As a French person I mostly share your husband's views, but man, if your girlfriend/wife wanna eat Cheetos, just let her eat Cheetos.
I mean, you're an adult, and it's not like you're forcing him to eat them himself, or like you're feeding Cheetos to the baby!
I also think that when it comes to pregnancy, the woman has a right to decide whatever she wants, no matter whether it makes sense to the father or not (as long as her decision is financially and practically achievable ofc). She's the one delivering the child, which is a very stressful experience, especially when living abroad. Some things go beyond pure rationality and the most important thing is that she feels at ease with the way that it is happening.
L’adjectif « versatile » est un autre cas de faux-amis ... entre le français de France et le français Québécois.
Au Québec, nous faisons un « emprunt sémantique » à l’anglais américain... et utilisons ce mot pour qualifier une personne qui est polyvalente et qui a plusieurs cordes à son arc.
Un Québécois qui traite un Français de versatile ... lui fait un compliment, mais ce dernier peut y voir une insulte!
As an American, I agree with your French husband regarding guns...(whatever kinds) & food. In fact, the more I hear about your cultural disputes, the more I'm beginning to believe I may have been French in a past life. LOL!
That'why I moved to US over 20 years ago from EU ....
I thought wedding was only a love "problem" 😄
quick question don't you think that a lot of cultural differences are not necesarly about being american but about being midwestern? i'm asking because i read somewhere that there are more difference between someone living in a small town in a isolated part of some regions or even deep in any countryside and a parisian than a parisian and a newyorker.
I understand your husband point of view, but concerning the food topic I'm on your side. As a french living abroad, when I get the chance to visit my family in France, I would definitely go shopping for cookies, biscuits and unhealthy snacks I used to eat in my childhood.
I agree with him about shopping for an engagement ring together, but why argue about the private doctor who speaks English or harping about junk food? None of the French men I know were that critical or particular. Idk... seems like most of these are just your husband's idiosyncrasies rather than cultural differences.
Anyway, the biggest cultural argument I've had with a boyfriend was about gender roles. He was Mexican and the oldest male in his household, so he was big on machismo. We did not last.
Interesting! I've always thought that most of them were cultural stuff but i guess maybe more is his personality!
Hubbie is Jewish & I'm Pagan.
At least we agree concerning Xmas .. lol
The French don't like the conventions but I love how Americans organize giantly celebrations.
Love your blog.. ❤️
I’m English engaged to a French man.. but I agree with your husband on all points.. especially the guns and feeding children junk food..
ok 😂
hunting riffles are a big cultural difference, in France, between the country and city peoples. A lot of country people are yet hunters. But in cities, it's less understood. Part of my family live in the country and hunt. I don't. It's a change in the way of living.
City and country life always plays a big difference! Whenever i talk about my experiences in Paris as French, people are quick to say paris isn't france because its such a big city!
It is mind blowing how The peanut butter and jelly is deeply anchored in the US culture and I think it is the same across all the US states. The same at my home. It is THE delicacy...and sorry my American friends it is not tasty....tastes not only food wise are definitely shaped by the experienced we are exposed to.
I totally agree! Its really anchored in US culture and I think food is SO related to a certain experience or time in your life and so even if i don't love certain foods anymore, eating them sometimes just feels comforting!
@@UnintentionallyFrenchified at the same time my kids find Polish style pickles yummy ...sth that makes my American partner gag
I think the idea about having a hunting riffle in France is very personnal or familial but for many people having a hunting riffle is nor a probleme, especialy if it dosn't work anymore and for many it's impossible as well. And there also many people who just do not realy care, they don't have riffles but it wouldn't realy be a problem. It's very balanced and it depends a lot. (I saw that in my own family or friends with people having guns, other not having just because they don't need, they are not hunters or anything, and other absolutly not wanting in guns in the house)
Ah mon Dieu. Quel sujet.
Encore hier, je regardais un reportage sur la culture américaine et l'amour.
Comme ici à Montréal, dans les grandes villes américaines, il y a à peu près 50% des gens qui sont célibataires.
Le reportage commençait avec tout le business de la demande à mariage jusqu'au coach du "dating" et se terminait par un mariage de gens de classe moyenne coûtant 100K$.
Je crois que tout cela vient énormément des films américains. Mais les films, c'est de la fiction.
La publicité joue un énorme rôle également.
Les Américains sont constamment et de toute part bombardés par le message que le bonheur se trouve dans la consommation.
Or, celle-ci n'est satisfaisante qu'à court terme. Le plaisir d'une pizza, d'un sondage chez Macdonald ou de la voiture de luxe est éphémère tandis que les tours de taille démesurés et les paiements pèsent lourdemmment sur la santé physique et morale des gens (diabète, haute pression artérielle, travailler plus pour payer ses dettes...).
Personnellement, je pencherais davantage sur le côté français mais je peux comprendre aussi le côté nostalgique.
Bien que je mange bien, il peut m'arriver de manger des macaronis avec le fromage en poudre.
😊
Pour moi, la culture américaine amène plusieurs dysfonctionnements en cherchant le bonheur constant et à court terme.
J'admire la course du bonheur mais je ne crois pas qu'ils sont sur de bonnes voies pour y arriver.
Imaginez toutes les souffrances de ce couple qui aura à rembourser ce 100 000$ pour une journée de rêve.
Il est triste de penser qu'au nombre moyen de mariages par personnes aux USA, il est fort possible qu'ils seront encore en train de payer un mariage avant de d'emprunter de nouveau pour un second mariage.
***
Je vis souvent un malaise aussi devant une émission comme The price is right.
Savez-vous si les producteurs dd l'émission demandent aux gens d'être "hystériques"?
Spécialement lorsque le prix est "A new car". Je trouve cela un peu pathétique les réactions. J'ai l'impression qu'il n'y a rien au monde, dans tout l'univers que ce New car.
Est-ce j'exagère beaucoup trop? De voir cela comme la pointe de l'iceberg de quelque chose de tordu?
Merci pour vos vidéos, elles me font bien rigoler.
Vous semblez être une bonne personne, intègre et qui n'a pas peur de parler "des vraies affaires".
Votre vidéo sur votre grossesse était un exemple éloquent et tellement drôle.
Il esf
J'avais lu un truc comme quoi la culture américaine c'est une culture basée sur l'"entertainment" et la "instant gratification"!
Le bonheur passe par la consommation. Tellement vrai (et triste^%)
As a European, I totally understand how your husband feels about that rifle. I also understand why it is disappointing to you. But it would be easier for me to get a satan statue in my room and start to worship it (lol) rather than have a gun in my home (especially with children living there). Just saying.
I am French from urban environment and I can say that I saw hunters rifles. They are completely different from what we used in the army ( I did my service national). Use of a weapon is a cultural thing as in some cultures you learn how to use it and when. But I can understand both views on the subject
Private clinic can better if you can afford it especially for delivery, I know there are people who had problems because the hospital wasn't that great.
About guns it's really a more modern issue as French used to have more weapons but with time we have seem to chiken out on the issue as people moved to the city and grew soft. I grew up as a French with guns around and I have the opinion that a true democracy should have a sizeable portion of the citizenry armed.But that's just my personal opinion and many people do not feel the same.
I’m not sure we are allowed to have hunting rifle at house without having a hunting licence.
I understand the point of view your family, I have nothing against hunting...but in any case you should check if you could have your father’s hunting rifle at your home in France, maybe not that easy with the legislation.
Anyway there is a lot of paperwork (export from US to Europe+ depending of the rifle cathegory, application for a possession permit, hunting permit, shooting license, or the registration in France), the regulation changes continuously getting tougher for law abiding citizens, so you must take care to keep up to date with the legislation so as not to find yourself in an illegal situation.
Great videos, and thank you for sharing your experiences on France and our culture.
I am French married to a Colombian, so yes a lot of the topics you mention I can relate to some intercultural differences, however let me tell you, your husband sound to be a complete pri--. Sorry to tell you this, but come on he is mean when you try to make some effort, tightfisted regarding you giving birth knowing he will get reimbursed anyway, macho and unsecure to let you go work nicely dressed, bot letting you buy some food that you used to eat when younger, closed minded about cultural differences you have... It seams you can not get a compromise without having to argue with him.
I am sorry but every time I do something I first try to think about what my wife and her culture like before saying or proposing something to her, I first think about her well-being and happiness. She is far from her culture because of me and have accepted my culture and french way of life, so I value the effort. I try to make her living in France as light as possible, always appreciate anything she do and would never even think of critisise her efforts. I do 250 km (we live far from big city) twice a month to get her some food/snacks from her country because she enjoys it, even if some of them I don't like nor find them healthy.
As a future husband I consider it was up to me to accept her requirements for the wedding.
I found the more I opened myself and embrace her culture the more she embraced mine, and now we basically live on a mixed-cultured standards at home. When abroad with her family I just enjoy doing things the way they do things, it would never cross my mind to creticize they way her family leaves/eat/party...(when in Roma live as a roman is the saying).
Thanks for the story about your and your wife! I love hearing about other bicultural couples and how they make it work! While you are of course entitled to your opinion, i don't think my husband is a pri--- but I really love how you have managed to make your wife feel so welcome in France. She's one lucky lady!!