INFJ DARK SIDE | How To Integrate The Dark Side And Use It To Our Advantage
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- Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about the INFJ dark side, and we're gonna talk about how to integrate it, how to make it part of our identity and our personality. Most of the time when you hear or read or watch anything about the INFJ dark side, it's always this thing that we keep hidden because once it comes out, when it comes out, it's this monster and it's really particular because it stings so much. So many of us carry it as a badge of honor, something we don't want to use. But if we do, it's gonna hit hard. But I'm going to show you how you can use it on a daily basis. If you Carl Jung, you know very well how important it is to integrate that part into our life so we can utilize it and it will help move our life forward.
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What dark side aspect of yours are you most afraid of?
Some friends just have principles of not loaning money...for the friendship sake. I also rather give when I can than have friends owe money to me...it's an uncomfortable feeling to taint the relationship like that...maybe you shouldn't be so hard with your friend
@Braxton Mills then remember: make it a deal from the get go....offer a service and have a set price...otherwise you will always have this gut feeling that your help is not being appreciated
and if they are not okay with this...then don't help them out...(unless you will never expect anything back from them)
Any threat to my son will get the full force of the dark side as a nuclear strike. We INFJ's are very protective and I am a 51 year old male who only 9 months ago started looking into the MBTI information. I always knew I was very different, but this is crazy. I understand that 2 to 3% of total population is INFJ and 2/3 of them are female. After finding that out, I now know why no one was like me. I was not raised to fear. So I wielded my abilities to help my people and to punish my enemies. Not real pretty, but real. I think it is funny how people seem to think we are all angels. That is a laugh riot. As I have gotten older the one truth we all must face is that we don't know as much as we think we do. Also, we should not take ourselves so seriously as we are quite temporary. Thank you for your insight. Keith
@@Aducquet To me a big issue is that I often text with emotion but with some of the context distorted by the alcohol, then it sounds not only very profound but extremely irrational. These are often the thoughts which I've bottled up until I've had a drink (which is usually when I feel isolated) so really need to express yet have stuffed that chance for expressing an internal need by waiting until I'm uninhibited enough to express this yet having the whole timing messed up by my very temporary yet clouding and powerful inhibitions... Then the most important issue I have is turned into a farce and with such intense emotion at the time that what I have stuffed up my only chance to get it out to that person. Funny how little misunderstandings can snowball if I'm not careful :)
I'm afraid of my ability to entice and control others. Sometimes I feel only two quick jumps away from becoming a charismatic cult leader. I just see so easily what people need and how I could provide it.
It's all about trusting that if people would follow you and listen to you...you would have their best interest at heart. Maybe the reason why the follow you is because you open up something in them that they have been looking for, for so long...don't dim your light because of the fear of responsibility. You know you are not going to abuse it.
@@Wenzes I know this is 2 years old but this right here is exactly what I needed to hear. "Don't dim your light because of the fear of responsibility"
Last time I used the power of my dark side, was when I needed to protect myself, to stand my ground against a person who was trying to dominate me, to break me and who has completely misjudged me, thinking that I was the weak and overly friendly nice guy... I fought back, using all my abilities, knowing the weak spots of the other person... it may seem cruel, but in that moment I knew very well how to hurt that person, it was like having power over the counterpart...it's like you said, it is a hidden part of you and when it comes out, it's devastating... The day after it happened, I met with some friends and they told me that I seemed very happy and full of energy. That was a quite accurate description of how I was feeling, like having discharged heavy weights and now feeling really powerful.
I love your warrior metaphor, I have always identified, even in childhood, myself as a warrior ( let's call it INFJ - warrior-type😂) , it helped me to go on in dark times, to grow and to build myself up. Keep on your fantastic work, Wenzes! Wish you all the best!
I can totally relate to your story....and thanks so much for your feedback :) I have realized that I always want to release my dark side...continuously...so it never builds up like that and I always feel "weightless" :)
This, by far, was the best lesson on self-love I've ever received
Wonderful!
Self love will get us far
I've been firmly aware, for a long time now, that we hold a lot of emotional strength. For instance, the fact that we can be very... picky about our partners, to the point that we'd much rather stay alone than be with someone just for the sake of company. That's a very INFJ thing to do, right? And it does show strength, to an extent. Or the fact that we might be going through an immense internal strife, yet manage to put on a smile and try to keep our emotions from flooding everything. There's strength in that. Even though one could argue that letting it all out, revealing it, that also takes another kind of strength, and one that we may lack... Anyway, the point is, strength itself is something that scares me a lot of the time. Because I feel like our dark side has it, more so than other people. And it's not always a good thing.
It used to scare me a lot as well...but one way or another I needed to face it, because it is part of me....and as long as I am keeping it hidden I hadn't given myself the opportunity to become bigger through it....as I mentioned before I was forced to let it all out and not hide it anymore and the freedom that came from that is indescribable. The truth is, it's scary, it's difficult...but we can do difficult things.
As a widower, I can absolutely say that you're point couldn't be more true.
Growing up, I always wondered why people, who had no problem getting in my face when they didn't like what I did, got all bent out of shape when I got in theirs. It also didn't help when my family openly disapproved of my showing any anger at all.
So I can vouch for what you've said in this video. It was emotionally hard for me to integrate this "dark side" but I needed it for honest, genuine communication. Thats why I like your comittment to honesty from the very beginning, and reducing the need for doing the "door slam."
👍👍👍
What a beautiful truth for an INFJ’s growth. Permanent solution to ending cycle of passive-aggression. Incorporate your dark side!
Glad it resonates with you 👍😊
Never felt so understood my whole life. I can make people feel either extremely loved or hurt/exposed that they had no other choice than to remove themselves from me.
Wenzes is 100% right! When I was a young man, before I realized what I was doing, I recklessly wielded my dark side as a weapon against others. Especially those I loved. I knew they couldn't leave me. It got to the point that everyone was scared to say the wrong thing to me. Now... as an older fella, I'm all too aware of my dark side, and have learned how to use it constructively (for the most part). I've finally learned how to be a just, strong, leader.
Just found your channel and LOVE it. Thank you!
I love that you said: just, strong, leader...that is something we all can strive towards.
Glad you like my channel :) thanks for your feedback!
Hey i gotta be honest i love this divine realm
This was 💯💯💯 We swallow a lot of garbage from others. Which then burdens us - physically, emotionally, mentally. Owning our fierceness is saying no more to that. We are here to travel light.
As a kid, I took in the problems of others like a black hole. I was and still am that person everyone turns to when they have a bone to pick, so I see all kinds of ugly, I know what makes them tick. Like a black hole, all this negativity is compressing at the centre. It has collapsed under pressure a couple of times, but in a feral, aggressive way, not verbal (I didn't know how to express myself properly at the time). Its been a while since the last time it came out so now I know exactly how I can ruin someone. Intuitively knowing if someone is worth being a friend is something an INFJ can do (although it is just an umbrella term). I finally have found true friends and I'm really afraid of them seeing the demon in me the next time I collapse. I'm slowly learning to express myself, hoping it'll relieve some stress but I'm scared that I might go overboard one day. Thank you for the advice, it was like being woken up by cold water.
We all have that dark side and it's part of us...at some point people around us will see it...and most of them will be able to handle it and the once that don't...they have never known the true you...because the true you also had this dark side....one way to make it clear from the beginning is to "live it out"...as in: live your unusual life, make it obvious that you are not afraid of stepping out of the norm. Create something that is worth fighting for and apply your dark side in order to push it...it be a healthy outlet and your friends would see your strength once and for all...but it wouldn't be used to absorb others negativity but to create abundance...starting with abundance for you
This is the best video you've record so far.
I remember as a teenager i did let other people bully me around because i was afraid that if i actually defended my self other people around me will see me as a "aggresive monster " thus not doing anything to defend my self.
Now on my young adult times if i notice someone insulting me or trying to bully me i actually will tell them to (stop, i don't appreciate the way you're talking to me or the way you're treating me) and because of this I've lost many "friendships" wich they were not because if they were, they wouldn't have treated me the way they did in the first place. Thanks for what you're doing on you're videos you are helping me keep my mind together and not to feel like a terrible person for having self respect.
To go along with our inclination to take on brutal and damaging words or actions of others, may be a level of moral and ethical code instilled at an younger age... the idea to be the "bigger/better" person by not saying anything back to them in those moments. Though our dark side knows how to truly inflict pain in rebuttal, we don't, out of respect for them and ourselves because I also sense that it is stooping to a level of tit for tat rather than constructively addressing either person's underlying frustration. In honesty, my intuition has told me time over, how someone would likely behave...but in that time of life I didnt trust my intuition, do I wanted to go more with the flow of life and let people "prove themselves". In the end, my intuition was spot on. Leading to the moment of dark side energy and door slams because I accepted mistreatment despite offering other people a way out of their bad patterns. So you're right, we can integrate the dark side... it just has to flow rather than be abrupt.
Thanks for this.
Evan Fauntleroy you said it perfectly...in flow, not abruptly then it gets to create even more harmoney in the longrun
Sometime u need total Darkness to see the smallest glimpse of Light...I only go on my Dark side to show (teach) people who's in need of enlightenment...Cheers!!!
PS: There's only 2 ways to learn in this world(Wisdom or Pain(hurt).)...We all learn better the hard way(Pain)...
thank you !!
I’m a control freak, and I have to try not to be overbearing to people in my family and to not micromanage them. So I guess I’m afraid of pushing people away by doing what I think is best for them instead of letting them figure out life.
I’m forever trying to protect everyones wellbeing but my own 😞 NOT anymore 💪🏾
Much appreciated wisdom 🙌🏻 Thank you! 😊 Yeah, I always felt like if I express myself fully, people might die... ☠️
I felt that too (that people might die...but they are going to be fine :)....it's a shock to the system but most of the time quick shocks are easier to work through than underlying trauma that they don't address in themselves
For so, so long I've been struggling to figure out what it is that is keeping me from having the dead-set determination that I know I have to accomplish what I want in life. I think this video has hit the very heart of the issue for me. Thank you for opening my eyes to the problems I didn't know I had, or didn't think (or want) to fix. I can't thank you enough for putting all this content out there for free, I think you're really making positive changes in many peoples' lives. Or at least mine.
So happy to read this Varalis...that is what I am hoping for. Thank you so much for your feedback!
All my life I felt as if I we're born as a stranger to this world. Than I discovered that I am an INFJ. I also realized how rare I am. Being a male, a virgo, a life path nine and a INFJ wow! At first I was excited and than realized how complicated I truly am. I have been researching for the last two years now. Sometimes I feel fine and at times I feel lost. I love your videos and it helps especially when I feel lost. So thank you😊
I'm at a breaking point with my mother. Either I suffer a stroke from harbouring my feelings, my truth or let her have my honest opinion and risk her hating me for life. Good luck to me.
Ditto! Good luck. I've been sharpening my sword for a while now. I hate taking prisoners.
All I can say for these videos is, 'Oh my gosh, that is sooooo truuuuuuuuue.' I was like that, ever since my earliest childhood memories. And, I still struggle with it, a little. Because, I usually got my behind whooped real good, my leg broken, right after hip surgery, or discarded out in the cold, or worst of all shamed to death, for expressing my true feelings. But I sure do now, although, it still shakes me up some. I still feel better off than I was before, though. I can hardly watch enough of these lessons, here! Thank you, for sharing your rather obvious gift of teaching.
Understanding what the darkness in me is was very liberating. Because then I could articulate that I can be either MLK Jr or Hitler.
But your video describing how to neither deny this capability nor be consumed by it is a wonder that I'm now starting to process.
Thank you.
You have finally shown me why it is that someone recently just knocked me down so far, despite me having learned and improved so much in the past few years. They've ignored that progress and maybe now I know why. I'm not sure if I can bring myself to fix it, though...
POWERFUL method of speaking our truth: NVC Nonviolent Communication
You're good and deep. You know what you're talking about....how does someone learn to love theirself...i was emotionally abused since childhood, mostly by my mom, siblings almost everyone ....for example i have COPD and still smoking. Always sabotaging myself....
Your channel is life changing. Thank you so much.
So true. I have been hiding my whole self for most of my life, now I have no option but to live my truth.
Omg i cant believe how true this is😂 thank you for your videos. Now I know I’m not alone. Btw i am horrible at confrontation because I know I’m going to feel bad if I talk about the weakness of this person but after that i feel bad with myself for not telling anything
I can totally relate ;) that's why set boundaries as soon as possible. Make them aware when they have crossed a boundary of yours and show them you won't accept that...that way it never has to get to that "ultimate" confrontation
If they push me to the limit and my feeling hurting so much, that is the time I show my dark side to protect my physical and mental health if I keep silent it affected my health!
It was difficult to hear this. I took hours to finish up this video, kept pausing and coming back to it and I am glad I finished. Thanks wenzes❤️
I never really comment but honestly this video was very eye opening and helped me out a lot . Thank you so much ❤️
You explained this dark side excellent, appreciated.
Glad it resonates with you :)
The problem is that I know that the person who I want to unleash my negative thoughts to will instantly refute it, saying how wonderful my life is and how I have no right to complain, because it’s about things that don’t affect me. But it does: it’s others I empathize with, but he’ll just see it as me being over sensitive
I agree with the points you have bought out my opinion is why do you have to stoop down to that level and always reply back with a response. I feel that is tiring as well because that won’t stop the person from seeing the problem that they need to correct because you said it. If anything it just defends the issues that they are trying to run away from and replacing that issue and keep throwing the blame on you! I say don’t feed it allow that person ownself be be there own worst Enemy. You can kill a person with kindness. As an infj think that we shouldn’t use other people actions to influence our own! Because sometimes people want you to get angry and being that side out to make them own self feel better. I leave a person with that energy and just smile 😊 with my feelings and emotions intact! We are the bigger person and yes that can be difficult! But we treat the person as good as we are not as bad as they are! We are stronger and sometimes you can show a person with actions and not words. We don’t allow ourselves to be around a individual who doesn’t respect or appreciate you either. But what ever happened to sticks and stones my break my bones but words would never hurt me. 😃 A person has control over you and reactions only if you let it! And being a bigger meaner person with a attitude doesn’t make us better it makes us like the person we are trying to correct.
You are right, we don‘t have to stoop to that level but we also don‘t need to keep things as they are so we can show them the other cheek. If you look at it from a perspective of self love it becomes that much more evident that we shouldn‘t allow negative behavior towards us to be continued. It‘s those firm boundaries that are responsible for it never getting to a point where we have to ‚seriously‘ bite back
Wenzes thanks for your response I appreciate your point of view🤓and I love your videos you keep up the great work 😊
I can totally relate to what you have said about the dark side. I even warn others that I try not to anger myself / get truly, deeply angry or channel it because if I let go.. I bring Hell down . It only happened 1-2 times so far, but I am carrying it always as something budding below the surface. Even in my mindscape I am able to identify it.
However, it scares me... you mentioned childhood many times... it is my mother who is unable to accept my darker side and whenever I let it out I get negative feedback that why can't I just be better and I am being rude and ungrateful,etc. On the other hand it worked with my father. Funny things these are.
But you inspired me a great deal today and I manged to open up about this to my fiancée. I feel that this is a great step towards mending the bridge between my current self and my darker side. I need to embrace it. But whenever I do.. I feel weak.
If I want to be a great geek (which I am) than what you described feels like we, INFJ-s are like the Jedi. We try to avoid the dark side of the Force, because the dark side is too powerful and turns you out. What feels like the answer is the one in the middle. The grey zone.
😊👍
Your post was really interesting. Maybe it will help me to acknowledge my dark side that I am afraid of. Harmony is very important to me, but most people see it as a weakness. Sometimes (rarely) I blurt it out and the others are irritated. But they don't learn from it. Helping others is easier than helping yourself. And I have helped all my life. Take care and stay healthy
For every light there is darkness
Thank you! I really needed this feedback today. Getting closer to ending a marriage with an ISTP after 13 years. When I communicate the pain they feel the pain and then I retract because I see how much they hurt and somehow I prioritize that more than my own pain.
I can only imagine how hard this must be . Glad the video was helpful
I've recently started doing this. I feel like I'm being a jerk. Thank you for letting me know that this is a healthy behavior.
thank you! after showing my dark side to situation/ persons my life is sooo much easier and healthier
You made me cry. I known so much how it feels getting hurt. I just don't want to hurt anyone. But I want to make people better, sos so much. I guess I will try it with: You are my best friend and I want to have a better relationship with you, without any bad feeling between us, so I will tell you what is really hard for me.
2 minutes in & already it resonates with me. I understand better about me now. I'm in the phase of finding out myself have always been that way but I made decision recently that I'll dig deeper. I'm so grateful for you. you're a blessing. :)
So glad I could help 😊
I call that side Soul Crusher and I use it as a last resort b4 the door slam
We know we are too powerful and yet too empath to use this power
I once door slammed a person but scheduling plans to meet with them the following day in order to leave the 2 hour conversation I was trapped in with that person. 10 years later I still have that person name & number saved in my phone book just in case they think I've forgotten them. Not happy about this but It's definitely the dark side of INFJ Harmony.
Maybe it would be a step forward to delete this number...if you intrinsically have no interest in meeting that person that it's okay to let go of that guilt...It's a practice after all....and it will feel horrible but it will also help you to stop feeling guilty for focusing on your wellbeing first
@@Wenzes good point. I've always been extremely good with people no matter the setting but the down side is it's hardly ever the setting I perfer to be in. Everyone feelings gets in the way of my thinking and I can't stand it at times. I'm definitely better at setting boundaries for myself nowadays especially since it seems I attract a lot of ENFJ, ESFP and ESTP's in my life. No offense but quite annoying at times. Thanks Wenzes
I put others before myself I always have. I do it because I don’t want them hurting in any way.
It‘s time you stop hurting yourself as well...
I’m scared that I’m too powerful and I would go too far if I unleashed my dark side since I’m prone to overkill so I try to take my anger out on the weights in the gym where I can throw on my 🎧 and not talk to a single person
Thankyou so much for this video Wenzes!! Recently I 'snapped' at someone and I've been feeling guilty about it for so long. I wouldn't behave that way normally but I was sick that day and just didn't want to deal with anything. I was having a hard time accepting that I can't be accommodating all the time, sometimes I have to put myself at the priority. But since I don't do it regularly enough, I didn't know how to react and snapped. I legit felt like I'm a monster.
Your video has made me realise that I this label of the 'rare type' make us feel like we can't be regular human anymore and always have to be saintly good to everyone. I'll try and keep this thought in check.
Thanks again. Best wishes 😊🙏💕
This is amazing. This window pops up from April after watching a recent one from you yesterday, September. You couldn't have nailed both of them any better. Explains exactly what I went through this past week. I'm an INFJ, she is an ENFP.
You make me want to change my thoughts from negative to positive. Thank you!
Thank you so much. You are such a great motivator. Now I come to know that I was totally wrong for not taking action against evil people. Now I'm feeling sad that may be after me they also might hurt other people like me. I was so wrong back then. But now I'm going to say no and also hurtful words to those who will hurt me.
What do you think about the grey rock technique towards narcissists. The thing is that narcissists etc. tend to evoke strong emotions in other people to feel themselves again and to feed their grandiose self (via power/control).
As a strategy to not get sucked into that dynamic you grey rock: you're plain, boring, neutral...grey. Of course, this doesn't work for a long time, especially if you have toxic people around you on a daily basis.
What do you think about this regarding showing emotions / being angry?
These videos are so eye opening but theyre so god damn intense! Real happy to find ur channel so thank u!
While listening I picked up to realizing a connection with the Anneagram . I'm a type 4 wing 5 but have learnt that there are two wings therefore the wing 3 is the broken wing. Anneagram 3 is the communicator and promoter. This would bring the type 4 into balance with a healthy wing on either side. Thus the type 5 being the sage would be balanced by the type 3. I related this to what you were saying about using Se together with Fe more and direct so as to be authentic and not hide so as to please. Being kind and holding back certainly has put me at a disadvantage a lot of the time. I sure can feel the good energy you're putting out... Regards David
👍😊
I still don't get what the dark side is exactly. All that comes to mind is Anakin fighting Obi Wan and becoming Darth Vader
You guys ever just say it out loud on accident. Say the thing that hurts in a way that's just in normal conversation, dark side shown and you get that look on their face and try to act like you didn't say that weakness, see that reflection in them. It's not on purpose. Hiding what you know is so hard. Then they are gone.
Great tip: saying the thing that hurts in a way that's just like normal conversation.
Such an amazing message to receive today!! Your teachings are helping me through a challenging growth cycle. 🙏 Thank you so much, Wenzes!!❤️
I am so grateful I came across your channel. I can't thank you enough. 💝
you are my hero
🤩
For me, ISFJ won't talk back in full force to the person who hurt them and decide to confide in another close friend by telling who hurts them. For INFJ, I mostly stuck whether to burst or not to explode directly full force to that person. Meaning to hurt the person directly not at the back or through other people. That's why it is a dark side of another level compare to ISFJ dark side talking around spreading words.
Thank for video, its really been helpful
Honestly I don’t care about taking on others weight positive or negative.im indifferent to it.however I understand it and love it,as in recognize it and accept it.But you are right that I let it just be,I don’t put my input the majority of the time but I’m working on this and oh my have I gotten places.I believe that they will just get their karma on their own.so I kinda just don’t absorb it and let them be.ill get there though one day slowly but surely I’ll input myself into shit in general
I understand where you are coming from. What we often forget though is that if we keep others from putting their energy on to us, it still has an effect on us...with time everything builds up and slows us down. It‘s like we are these super strong warriors and people keep on slapping us left and right. We can keep saying, yeah, I am stron enough, this doesn’t bother me...but no matter how stron we are, putting up a shield to make us immune from those slaps is keeping us from using this energy to move our life forwars. It‘s time we thrive and not just merely survive and I have learned the best way to do that is to make people clear from the get go, not to mess with me...otherwise they they NO space in my world whatsoever
Thank you for another great video. I found a lot of useful information and inspiration 😃
Did I understand this correctly? Integrating our dark side is telling other people what we see their deeper issues or underlying problem is. And not doing this and keeping this knowledge inside makes us not being able to use our Se force in our own life as well as we could?
Wow! Seriously great channel and love your videos.
It’s so hard sometimes to absorb this to protect others. It really can change relationships forever but it’s necessary to grow.
Thanks. Yep.
I have many missions such as ending smoking drinking, animal abuse/ consumption globally, and much more. My wife thinks I'm a psycho.
I'm pretty sure that smokers will think I'm crazy if I tell them to stop. They suffer from strong psychological issues. I think they can't get my message. Any suggestions on this? I look for support on many fronts.
Thank you
6th video on my binge whilst I work. Lol
Hit home.
👍😊
Easy to say
True...that‘s why I only speak about things that I have done and overcome myself
last may my mom's killed by mistake hospital, i was in bad grief and had many verbal negatives with my INFJ love's, she called police instead of be more compassionate and warm with me. court and lawyer system started and i lost too much, jail, hope, money, .... and unfortunately true the restraining ordered she got by stupid law of USA, any times she advantage me anytime she was angry! ... i never did bad with her like that she and her lawyers and court made mountain of molehill. hopping can write a book about it and show how victim can be swap
Writing a book on your experience would be such a great idea and a way to take back control...good for you!!! Just start, you can do it!
Wenzes till that time am wondering how can she can reach to this kind of link your broadcasting. By the law I cannot send her! Stupid law directly says we don’t need knowledge! Can you send to her email?
Behzad Eghtesad focus on you and what you can do to improve your life...that is the key
@@Wenzes this is big mistake in west ideas Wenzes. we as human have to have fine compassion, anytime my life was down it was because unresponsibility of others. my life is fine now as i reach to good philosophy and i can make people relax as i did for 100.000s as my job was. the people who need to improve are people like my EX, they have kids and their kids might be future presidents of USA and like trumps and others destroy the world more and more.... all because Mothers dose not have knowledge , they are proud not to learn too. you guys and youtube are doing good job to grow this knowledge ( if the infos are good) , people in USA need to learn how is middle east ( specially Iran) family style how is. because they don't have knowledge of family this country is highest rank of terrorism , kids take guns and kills others easy...... please read and introduce a book name: A FEARLESS HEART: HOW THE COURAGE TO BE COMPASSIONATE CAN TRANSFORM OUR LIVES . this is a book MUST learn by all human, appreciated God that i knew most of this before i read it and after 2 times i read, i'm much better to follow it.
What is SE and FE?
hi can i ask you kind of personal question sorrie its out in the open
Some time i just DONT CARE OF ANYTHING
Sooooo say my dark side is I wanna scream at someone so my way of integrating it is ...like doing singing or something that utilizes my angry voice?
if it is what you yearn for, just do it...I mean it's not like the world is going to implode 😉
@@Wenzes haha! nope it'll keep on spinning :)
Thnk you
u r incredible
Thank you ❤
I'll never understand that INFJ doorslam thing. To doorslam someone is to reject someone you love and care about which is totaly not an INFJ thing. You can close the door for a stranger, show that person you are not open to him or her but that's ignorance not doorslam. If you love and care about someone you will do everything to pass away what quarrel come's along the way with peace not with doorslam. We are not a conflict individuals. Love will and have to conquer all. My Ni guaide's me to the right people in my life so the doorslam never exist.
Sometimes if we keep on giving and giving and the other one keeps on taking...at some point you have to change the dynamic. Otherwise we are just left with an empty soul. It seems to me that you don't let others take advantage of you...that's a good thing, then it never has to come to a door slam. Doesn't happen to me anymore either
What I understand from this lesson is that we should vent our emotions for example by screaming. Did I get your message right? I don’t think that’s the right thing to do.
My girlfriend as an ESFJ does this and I experience this behavior as extremely toxic. If she does that the relationship is always at the edge. Maybe it’s because she firstly swallows her anger until the point she explodes.
I also found some of the things in this video hard to understand clearly, but I think she's saying that the solution is to tell people what we see that their deeper causes of their problems are. Not keep this understanding inside and then suddenly explode, but express to them what we understand and see about them, even if we know that they don't want to confront that.
@@teodora7219 I tell my wife about ten years now that she should quit smoking asap. No success so far. She doesn't want to listen to most of my advice at all.
@@stebarg I don't think it's about giving people advice, but telling them your infj findings. Like if you realise what the deeper reason why she smokes is, and it might be something she's not even admitting to herself, and you tell her about your discovery.
@@teodora7219 Any idea how to put this in practice? I guess smokers are very much influenced by the nicotine and don't get any point you make against smoking.
@@stebarg to give you an example of what wenzes is saying in this video. She is not speaking of giving the advice to make her stop, but of telling her what you think the underlying cause of her addiction is, even if it will hurt her. The example: let's say you realize she smokes because she is really bored with her life or even worse, that she is subconsciously wanting to die- she is sick of her life and she has created this habit to slowly kill herself. If you tell her that, she will be hurt. if it will make her think and quit or just be angry with you, no idea.
big question!: one part of the dark side is the INFJ person dose not like to hear her negatives, like my love who has restraning ordered to me too! suggest how she can listen to this kind of videos!?
That’s the thing...we all have the prerogative to decide what we want to be open to and what not...focus on you and your future, not her....
@@Wenzes still i believe focus on ourself Idea is mistake. i learned water technology. water always drain to deepest area and rise. the deepest is poorest. focus on myself not poor people who need info/ water is a capitalism technology , that let reach be reacher and poor be poorer. we need to swap. we can focus on our self as human just when we are going to not to go down hill in life. when we are in good position, we need to focus on people who need. even they can not show their need. like USA with trillions$$ capitals... who never care about African or even their millions homeless. just one day income of Las Vegas can help a years of Africans... why they don't? because they use the philosophy of focus on your self! I grow in Islamic system, we always care about others, they teach us if we have good dinner and our poor neighbors doesn't first care about them. this reflex good to us too. you are positive and looking good seed person.please go by backpack/ bicycle/ motorcycle live some months in Iran, Pakistan, Turkey, Iraq.... see how people care about each others. as you have a you tube personality broadcast , you will make more love for your viewers. about my love to you can send her this video and ask her her opinion! do you want!? Cheers. please reach the book: fearless heart book by Jimpa.
@@Wenzes also attention that all around us are some forces, like roads, lines, red lights,.... if there is not roads, and traffic lines, people will crash more... we can not decide in somethings in life as selfishness. we have to learn then decide. if people like my Love, knew about their darkside, they and their loves like me will not have crashes too. i used to be Champion and am motorcycling coach, never i don't let my riders ride without i give them knowledge because they can crash easy and not only they don't back on bike but also they effect others says biking is dangerous that is not in reality. this is part of real love. i love biking, i love them, i love to grow in quantity and quality of biking so i care about them. for my EX and similar people we are all responsible because we need to stop hurt broken because if we are real human and not just like robots broken hurts will effect negatives all around our life. so we need to learn, teach, care! all in kindness! love you. watch the movie They live 1988.
I wonder what the most zodiacs are in infj
What is SE?
Alchemy
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Beautiful eyes💖
Thank you :)
wanna hear the truth -
other mbti are actually jealous us...
" a low class, lost standard in human being, that had been outcast, shell hiding infj can live happy than us wtf that is shameful act...
we infj are happy broken badass straight forward in truth sharp yet blunt know how to enjoyed living a real life with meaningful...
we are not afraid to die because we are outcast in society, doesn't mean we will commit suicide...
What I mean is we will die meaningful as well , we infj will sacrifice our life to the innocent love one because sometimes life need to let go so no one is hurt in future...
Just like Jesus Christ onto the symbolic hurting cross (understand other feeling)
That's a cool secret, infj most powerful secret power, "read future and know when is the right time sacrifice own life to other during work or family /friends)
I remember I do this many times infront of family / friends /working place, is really rewarding because the bad thing happened to me might seems illogic in 1st glance because it can be a sudden sacrifice were being made ,once done sacrifice and I able to predict the future what will it be purpose for to see the big picture from it...
INFJ is just a God special made little helper for every middle situation ... if earth without us as a gap , earth won't run smoothly, we are spotlight on stage, we play both good and bad to make the environment healthy , human be humanity, etc...
we are born for this in instinct
we are like anti-virus software...
we can do good show examples, if no one listen ...
we do evil things so that the world will learn lesson...
Thanks to bad people to make us go up to heaven without the bad one to express their views we won't be noted to change ...
we actually standing near to the plug ... to plug in or to pull of the plug or change plug ... feels like God (no just kidding)... just to counselling
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Beijos
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Most INFJ'S are warm and kind they care deeply about people and they're busy in heir livres to they don't use the dark side or don't even have one to hurt someone if the person crosses their values they can door slam and that's it they don't kick them when they are down . Vengeance is mine says God he sees everything and will judge you accordingly Do not underestimate his power terrible advice very unhealthy .
Sorry but this video is what made me stop listening to you. It is never okay to manipulate people or use your "abilities" to control people maliciously, doesn't matter how you try to portray it as.
Even if others do it, that doesn't matter, you will be accountable for your actions at the end of the day, you will not have the excuse, that others are much worse.
You are the dark side because you are confusing people,believing that you are an Infj yourself and instead your real personality type is Isfj
ISFJ won't talk back in full force to the person who hurt them and decide to confide in another close friend by telling who hurts them. For INFJ, I mostly stuck whether to burst or not to explode directly full force to that person. Meaning to hurt the person directly not at the back or through other people. That's why it is a dark side of another level compare to ISFJ dark side talking around spreading words.
INFJ'S don't have a dark side this is not how INFJ'S behave this is inconsistent they don't want to hurt people either INFJ'S are sweet and kind people they are not cruel every type have a side that we need to work on .
Thank you so much