Hello everyone! Today’s video is a little different, but I wanted to share this with all of you. Thank you all for continuing to support my channel throughout the years. 💕
I've definitely made researching about autism one of my special interests and I resonate so much with what other autistic people talk about. I have many traits of autism but I have trained myself to talk and behave like neurotypical people so I understand what masking is. I'm so fascinated about it and it feels like it was meant for me to realize that I am autistic. I've always felt like I'm different and is very easily affected by the environment. I've had meltdowns and shutdowns many times and I also get stressed about ordinary things in life. I'm currently under valuation for being on the spectrum in Sweden and I hope that I can communicate how I feel and make people understand that I'm not making everything up. I've also experienced Imposter syndrome but deep down I know I am autistic. Thank you so much for telling us about your experiences!
Ez, I always come back to it also I'm diagnosed but I am unsure and probs have imposter syndrome but I might ACC not have it tho but yesterday I had a rare day in which I talked alot w my parents and told them tea ABT a few parts of my life what they know and don't know so yah BC of a questionnaire, my mum said when I was little probs toddler or young kid like when my mum got hurt like fell or something I didnt look or do anything just not turn around even and also, i know in myself that i fidget alot and sometimes i move round with my body but i can stay still in my body when i watch movies or yt rn or art but if i was doing online school or trying to get changed something that loses my interest i get distracted and also move round dance like after school sometimes i used to dance round for ages every day nearly and then school got alot worse and nearly every day i didnt talk much and bad days i cry and stare at sky from window and sometimes so basically i bottle things up but i dont much bc i type it and send my therapist but I dont know much how bad i feel and if something happens that i start talking a bit or if something alot happens screams forces out of me and i can try to hold it in but that fells like if i was holding in sick so it likely will come out if it don't and I still hold it in then it hurts a bit bc it's pushing so hard to get out.
And in my mind I talk to myself alot and in different ways that breaks the like normal limit but I don't do it all of the time it happens a few times a week and after skating I often talk to myself alot and in skating sometimes or often I talk in my head and so many things go on but I'm not one to get tired easy or sensory overload or meltdown it's not too much for me but I still feel lots of thoughts and stuff BC lots of things go one for humans and yh so there's people around me in skating lessons so I know that I see them and inside of me I talk about things like and work things out and find things funny and weird and stuff and it feels different to if I did the same but after skating in the car probably BC less was going on and easier to have proper thoughts BC there are many different types of thoughts the intensity like if you can notice them as talking in your head to having more feeling thoughts that sometimes feel like you can attach words to it for what you felt then ppl say "I thought you were gonna jump on me" (wierd example I know) but they did not actively think they did not in their head they likely didnt say in their mind "i think they are gonna jump on me" they would have a feeling of that then if they choose to mention it they say i thought you were gonna jump on me, but they didnt think that they had a small feeling which was enough for them to notice but they didnt think it they felt it then later put it with words it gets confusing explanation
8:30 I had the opposite problem with professors. My undergraduate professors were nice and welcoming. My graduate program professors felt like cold, ivory tower overlords. Anyways, congratulations on your diagnosis! I know what feeling different is like. Not knowing why is disorienting.
Thank you so so much for this! I have a 12year old who needs to hear this. She is struggling badly with anxiety and depression and longs for a few friends however also isolates herself. Thank you again so much!!
Your childhood experience was literally almost the exact same experience I had. I’m not diagnosed yet but am seeking a diagnosis. It’s such a relief to know I’m not the only one who went through those experiences
I resonated so much with your story, i'm not officially diagnosed yet but i realized when i was 20 and am now 21 and seeking an official dx! I also want to pursue a masters in OT :) Thank u for sharing
I'm also autistic, thank you for sharing your video :) Me as well, I was thinking I'm probably autistic and read about this before I thought to ask for a diagnosis
I’m happy for you that your were able to get your diagnosis young. I some times wonder if I would have been diagnosed with Asperger’s if I was diagnosed when that term was still used as a diagnosis. I think it’s better that they have it all under one spectrum now because the history behind the diagnosis of Asperger’s isn’t great.
@@emilysuzanne2000 nah. I've developed enough understanding of my condition and self reflection to recognize problems I've had in the past that I never fully understood until recently, and I'm fairly confident in my ability to apply it in the future and I have good support systems in place
hi my son is 20 and i think he has autism,i want to get a diagnosis for him,i feel like i failed him,i dont know what to do,he always did weird things too and facial expressions and we thought that was just him,your story is so soooo similar to my son,any advice would be appreciated
It’s hard to say because I don’t know his story, but you could always have a conversation about it. Since he is an adult it would be up to him if a diagnosis is something he would like to pursue. I found mine very helpful to better understand myself, but others don’t think it’s necessary.
Does your professor’s friend have a website? I would really appreciate it I’m in the process of finding out if I’m autistic. Also do you know how much it would cost to meet with him not to get tested but to know if I should get tested or not
I am fortunate to be able to say I wasn’t bullied in school. There were times when I would do something out fo the norm or miss a social cue and people would laugh or think it was strange. For the most part I just kept to myself and I think I talked more to teacher than students. I got better at communicating with people as I got older, but there are still times when I say or do something socially unacceptable and don’t realize right away. I hope that kinda answers your question and I’m happy to talk more on this.
@@emilysuzanne2000 yes please if you have Instagram that would be great so we could talk more but anyways so since your autistic I wanted to know like if someone was autistic the same as you would you take the mic of them or try to help them because you both have the same condition I’m using it as an ability
First time watching the channel and was totally confused on undergrad, professors, etc. I mean, are grade school teachers there called professors or did you skip to talking about college?
I went from talking about growing up and to talking about my adult life when I was in graduate school because that’s when I was diagnosed. Sorry if that was confusing I was a little scattered and didn’t want to provide too many details but also enough lol
Please don't take it offensive what I ask. I just want to understand my boy better. I really don't understand how the diagnosis changed things? How when the 'official' definition changed from 'just Emily' to 'autistic Emily' really changed things? After all those list of symptoms available online you were still not sure you are autistic? Because I believe you knew before the diagnosis exactly where on the spectrum you are. I believe you led the doctor and practically you diagnosed yourself. My point is that the autism is not something you can heal, but the products of it like depression, anxiety etc. can be minimized and hopefully fully removed. And all this 'masking' is actually your brain figuring out alternatives to socialize. It is the same how blind people develop other senses like touch and smell to compensate loss of vision. You have done amazing job and I wish my son coop with this the same like you. And don't worry you are not neurotypical, your mask is clean and practical where others masks are build on lies and greed.
I don’t think it’s offensive to ask questions like this. I really struggled with feeling like I was failing at life and failing at being a human growing up and it was very frustrating to think everyone else was doing it and I just couldn’t seem to get a grip on life and I was also exhausting myself in the process. Finding out I am developmentally different that the typical person was a huge mindset shift and validated all of my struggles. I had a feeling I was autistic before going to a professional, but there were also times when I would convince myself I made it up. I had the luxury of being able to find someone and my parents were willing to pay for the evaluation process which I’m grateful for because not everyone has that opportunity. Since receiving my diagnosis, I have started unmasking a little more and learning more about who I truly am and embracing my differences instead of trying to suppress them. I’m still working through this process but it’s been truly life changing.
@@emilysuzanne2000 Thanks a lot! It is amazing how you can't really do the social thing, but you realize the importance and you get all the frustration because of this. But don't try to follow the 'neurotypical' norms. Nowadays world is so fake (or more like snobbish) that sometimes when I watch my son 'unmodified' reactions it's like I see a flower in a dessert. Just be good, follow your goals and for the socializing - as much as you get :) . Best Regards 👋
I am currently in Graduate school to get my Doctor of Physical Therapy degree, but I graduate in May. So after that I will be working as a physical therapist.
Hello everyone! Today’s video is a little different, but I wanted to share this with all of you. Thank you all for continuing to support my channel throughout the years. 💕
I've definitely made researching about autism one of my special interests and I resonate so much with what other autistic people talk about. I have many traits of autism but I have trained myself to talk and behave like neurotypical people so I understand what masking is. I'm so fascinated about it and it feels like it was meant for me to realize that I am autistic. I've always felt like I'm different and is very easily affected by the environment. I've had meltdowns and shutdowns many times and I also get stressed about ordinary things in life. I'm currently under valuation for being on the spectrum in Sweden and I hope that I can communicate how I feel and make people understand that I'm not making everything up. I've also experienced Imposter syndrome but deep down I know I am autistic. Thank you so much for telling us about your experiences!
I wish you the best of luck with your evaluation process 💕
Thank you so much! @@emilysuzanne2000 ❤
Much Love and kindness to you ❤
Ez, I always come back to it also I'm diagnosed but I am unsure and probs have imposter syndrome but I might ACC not have it tho but yesterday I had a rare day in which I talked alot w my parents and told them tea ABT a few parts of my life what they know and don't know so yah BC of a questionnaire, my mum said when I was little probs toddler or young kid like when my mum got hurt like fell or something I didnt look or do anything just not turn around even and also, i know in myself that i fidget alot and sometimes i move round with my body but i can stay still in my body when i watch movies or yt rn or art but if i was doing online school or trying to get changed something that loses my interest i get distracted and also move round dance like after school sometimes i used to dance round for ages every day nearly and then school got alot worse and nearly every day i didnt talk much and bad days i cry and stare at sky from window and sometimes so basically i bottle things up but i dont much bc i type it and send my therapist but I dont know much how bad i feel and if something happens that i start talking a bit or if something alot happens screams forces out of me and i can try to hold it in but that fells like if i was holding in sick so it likely will come out if it don't and I still hold it in then it hurts a bit bc it's pushing so hard to get out.
And in my mind I talk to myself alot and in different ways that breaks the like normal limit but I don't do it all of the time it happens a few times a week and after skating I often talk to myself alot and in skating sometimes or often I talk in my head and so many things go on but I'm not one to get tired easy or sensory overload or meltdown it's not too much for me but I still feel lots of thoughts and stuff BC lots of things go one for humans and yh so there's people around me in skating lessons so I know that I see them and inside of me I talk about things like and work things out and find things funny and weird and stuff and it feels different to if I did the same but after skating in the car probably BC less was going on and easier to have proper thoughts BC there are many different types of thoughts the intensity like if you can notice them as talking in your head to having more feeling thoughts that sometimes feel like you can attach words to it for what you felt then ppl say "I thought you were gonna jump on me" (wierd example I know) but they did not actively think they did not in their head they likely didnt say in their mind "i think they are gonna jump on me" they would have a feeling of that then if they choose to mention it they say i thought you were gonna jump on me, but they didnt think that they had a small feeling which was enough for them to notice but they didnt think it they felt it then later put it with words it gets confusing explanation
I got diagnosed with autism when I was 3 years old and I’m proud of who I am ❤❤❤
8:30 I had the opposite problem with professors.
My undergraduate professors were nice and welcoming.
My graduate program professors felt like cold, ivory tower overlords.
Anyways, congratulations on your diagnosis! I know what feeling different is like. Not knowing why is disorienting.
Thank you so so much for this! I have a 12year old who needs to hear this. She is struggling badly with anxiety and depression and longs for a few friends however also isolates herself. Thank you again so much!!
Your childhood experience was literally almost the exact same experience I had. I’m not diagnosed yet but am seeking a diagnosis. It’s such a relief to know I’m not the only one who went through those experiences
I resonated so much with your story, i'm not officially diagnosed yet but i realized when i was 20 and am now 21 and seeking an official dx! I also want to pursue a masters in OT :) Thank u for sharing
I’m glad it resonated with you. Good luck in your diagnosis journey! 💕
Glad I found your channel. Looking forward to watching more of your videos
Welcome to the channel! :)
Hi Emily good morning happy Thursday morning and I hope you having amazing day today and I just wanted to say that your thumbnails is amazing
I relate so much to you! We sound like the same person haha. I am working towards getting a diagnosis ❤
I hope everything goes well with your diagnosis process!! Feel free to message me on insta if you ever want to talk 💕
I'm also autistic, thank you for sharing your video :) Me as well, I was thinking I'm probably autistic and read about this before I thought to ask for a diagnosis
I’m glad you found it helpful :)
Great story! I really enjoyed watching your content! Keep up the great work!
@@BenHasAutism Thank you!
@@emilysuzanne2000 your welcome
I feel pretty lucky to have been diagnosed when I was 7. But they had understood my condition of ‘Asperger’s’ as opposed to just being on the spectrum
I’m happy for you that your were able to get your diagnosis young. I some times wonder if I would have been diagnosed with Asperger’s if I was diagnosed when that term was still used as a diagnosis. I think it’s better that they have it all under one spectrum now because the history behind the diagnosis of Asperger’s isn’t great.
@@emilysuzanne2000 yes, definitely. The biggest problem with the 'aspergers' diagnosis is that it doesn't account for masking, among other issues
@@EliW95 I guess I didn’t think about that. Have you ever considered getting reevaluated?
@@emilysuzanne2000 nah. I've developed enough understanding of my condition and self reflection to recognize problems I've had in the past that I never fully understood until recently, and I'm fairly confident in my ability to apply it in the future and I have good support systems in place
@@EliW95 that’s great! And that’s all that matters.
Hey! girl, there’s nothing wrong being silly. I’m autistic & I just love doing silly things.
hi my son is 20 and i think he has autism,i want to get a diagnosis for him,i feel like i failed him,i dont know what to do,he always did weird things too and facial expressions and we thought that was just him,your story is so soooo similar to my son,any advice would be appreciated
It’s hard to say because I don’t know his story, but you could always have a conversation about it. Since he is an adult it would be up to him if a diagnosis is something he would like to pursue. I found mine very helpful to better understand myself, but others don’t think it’s necessary.
Does your professor’s friend have a website? I would really appreciate it I’m in the process of finding out if I’m autistic. Also do you know how much it would cost to meet with him not to get tested but to know if I should get tested or not
I’m not sure if he is still practicing or if he retired, but you can DM me on instagram and I can give you his information
Hi, thank you so much. I can’t find your Instagram can you please send it
@Emily suzanne have people bullied you or did you understand how to communicate with people in school because it’s very interesting
I am fortunate to be able to say I wasn’t bullied in school. There were times when I would do something out fo the norm or miss a social cue and people would laugh or think it was strange. For the most part I just kept to myself and I think I talked more to teacher than students. I got better at communicating with people as I got older, but there are still times when I say or do something socially unacceptable and don’t realize right away. I hope that kinda answers your question and I’m happy to talk more on this.
@@emilysuzanne2000 yes please if you have Instagram that would be great so we could talk more but anyways so since your autistic I wanted to know like if someone was autistic the same as you would you take the mic of them or try to help them because you both have the same condition I’m using it as an ability
First time watching the channel and was totally confused on undergrad, professors, etc. I mean, are grade school teachers there called professors or did you skip to talking about college?
I went from talking about growing up and to talking about my adult life when I was in graduate school because that’s when I was diagnosed. Sorry if that was confusing I was a little scattered and didn’t want to provide too many details but also enough lol
@@emilysuzanne2000 Thank you for the explanation
Please don't take it offensive what I ask. I just want to understand my boy better. I really don't understand how the diagnosis changed things? How when the 'official' definition changed from 'just Emily' to 'autistic Emily' really changed things? After all those list of symptoms available online you were still not sure you are autistic? Because I believe you knew before the diagnosis exactly where on the spectrum you are. I believe you led the doctor and practically you diagnosed yourself. My point is that the autism is not something you can heal, but the products of it like depression, anxiety etc. can be minimized and hopefully fully removed. And all this 'masking' is actually your brain figuring out alternatives to socialize. It is the same how blind people develop other senses like touch and smell to compensate loss of vision. You have done amazing job and I wish my son coop with this the same like you. And don't worry you are not neurotypical, your mask is clean and practical where others masks are build on lies and greed.
I don’t think it’s offensive to ask questions like this. I really struggled with feeling like I was failing at life and failing at being a human growing up and it was very frustrating to think everyone else was doing it and I just couldn’t seem to get a grip on life and I was also exhausting myself in the process. Finding out I am developmentally different that the typical person was a huge mindset shift and validated all of my struggles. I had a feeling I was autistic before going to a professional, but there were also times when I would convince myself I made it up. I had the luxury of being able to find someone and my parents were willing to pay for the evaluation process which I’m grateful for because not everyone has that opportunity. Since receiving my diagnosis, I have started unmasking a little more and learning more about who I truly am and embracing my differences instead of trying to suppress them. I’m still working through this process but it’s been truly life changing.
@@emilysuzanne2000 Thanks a lot! It is amazing how you can't really do the social thing, but you realize the importance and you get all the frustration because of this. But don't try to follow the 'neurotypical' norms. Nowadays world is so fake (or more like snobbish) that sometimes when I watch my son 'unmodified' reactions it's like I see a flower in a dessert. Just be good, follow your goals and for the socializing - as much as you get :) . Best Regards 👋
just out of interest what do you do for occupation?
I am currently in Graduate school to get my Doctor of Physical Therapy degree, but I graduate in May. So after that I will be working as a physical therapist.
First
Lame. You all hurt us.