EVer FKd a whore? They were the closest thing to being a stranger but know how to service me. I did that one time, And she feel inlove with me. TReated me good for years.. of course she was still a whore, but at least I got it for free, and anyway I wanted. I know how this may sound. But it was the safest emotion sex, I have every had, outside a intimate relationship as a demisexual. That is why secretly in my heart. I like whores, for what they are. Not that I pay for it.
2 BE very clear: In Most infj infp I never thought they Had sexual Feelings at all. No gentle touches, no flirt, No Talk about Sex, cuddles, Kisses, hugs...the only 2 infj I consider as "sexual" are infj Clay and Lexy. Greets.
"...it's not impossible for the INFJ themselves to be left utterly speechless and uncomfortable with just how odd their mind can be at times." So true 😂
definately have had a malfunction where someone does the right amount of absurd and unexpected things back to back leaving me in a deer in the headlights state of stunned and mentally incapacitated.
Infj woman doesn’t like excess pda or vulgar gestures. Speaking for me we are intellectuals. Attraction is never just based on looks. We take the intellect, sensitivity and overall self awareness to qualify real attraction. Character is really number 1.
I think most of us have a set of values we look for. For me, it's integrity; compassion and kindness; intelligence with an open mind, a religious understanding and sense of humour. Looks, money, social status, mean nothing.
As an INFJ woman, I can say for myself arrogance in a man is completely a turn off for me for the reasons listed. When arrogance comes into the play in sexuality, for me, I feel it bastardizes the vulnerability involved in opening oneself in one of the deepest ways. It’s almost as if the other person who is expressing this trait is looking at you as if they’ve conquered you, rather than seeing your choice of vulnerability with them had arisen from your own free will and acceptance of them. So it was the utter polarity of it, as acceptance implies humility.
@@carolferguson19 very first thing a competent man looks at in a woman is her balance between how many male friends she has verses how many girlfriends she has. More male than female is a clear sign those poor unsuspecting, clueless souls are merely waiting their turn in line. Sad fact, but in every society, past, present or future, still a sad fact.
Absolutely...I saw another video describing INFJs as "sapientophiles," i.e., as individuals for whom deeply meaningful communication is essential in a sexual relationship.
For me as INFJ man, attraction grows the more I learn and know the person, the more emotionally closer we get and grow together, person becomes more physically attractive and need for connecting physically grows more and more.
I like different people. For me, run of the mill good looks and ideas leave me cold. I want someone who's unusual and smart, as well as kind and friendly.
I am definitely demisexual. Even as a child, and into my teen years, I never wanted a shallow, sex/appearances-based relationship. I never wanted to kiss or have sex with someone based on what they look like. In school, when other teenagers were getting in and out of relationships every other week, and talking about their sexual escapades with pride... I found it all disgusting, and listening made me feel depressed and frustrated. I do have an overactive imagination, and I dream and daydream a lot, including sexual fantasies. These fantasies can be crazy, and go completely against my own morals and values... but even in those moments, I know I would *never* actually do the things I'm thinking of. Even if the fantasies turn me on at the time, they only do so because they are in my head. The thought of *actually* having any sort of sexual encounter with anybody other than a true partner for life, actually makes me sick. It's not an option for me.
INFJ male here, covered it all perfectly. My personal experience though when I was unhealthy and in an extraverted sensory addiction mode twists a lot of this to making awful choices in partners and doing things I normally wouldn't have been comfortable with. When we really can't state our boundaries and will do anything for the person we choose it can get very, very ugly for us if they're toxic. It's so important we don't lose ourselves in our hopeless romanticism and are able to state our boundaries! Thankful for the many experiences it's given me lost in that state, despite the trauma it's now a source of peace knowing I can provide a vast variety of pleasure from those mistakes for the person I love and share that with. Took a long time not to be ashamed of sadly.
INFJ woman here.. definitely this all feels true. When I am truly in love with somebody and feel completely comfortable with them my mind goes very spiritually high vibrational ideas and places.. so when I was once with my husband of 13 years, (about 11 years into the relationship LOL it took me this long to get to this level of I don't know what? Spirituality? Sexuality?) suddenly I saw us in a garden with marble walls on one side and one side was open-air looking out into a world of beautiful fruit trees and lush gardens.. and in the moment seeing all this beauty turns me on and made me way more passionate. It was so bizarre because when other people talk about their sexual fantasies or experiences nobody I know has ever been through this..
@@gabrielle9563 So true! And to look at this in a spiritual way the 'merging' becomes a complete lack of identification with self. It's the surrender with another that signals complete acceptance .And I think this also describes us. Lonely souls looking to become one with another. Words don't do it justice.
Wow. I thought I was like this because of my upbringing. Pair rarest personality type with super rare childhood. I grew up in a Christian cult community, but no communes- just super strict, no sex before marriage, no dating-> old school courtship, didn't watch TV, sex was bad, EXCEPT in marriage! And even that was only for procreation! Yeah, because you can just flip it on and off. And I try to tell me husband- I'm the real deal! Sex with strangers is not exciting to me. Actually, it's terrifying!
In every situation (other than the bedroom) I find myself within myself, observing others and trying to pick up on what is making them tick. I am calm, cool, and self assured and may appear a bit passive. But once we are in the bed with that special one, the gloves come off. I go into intense mode. It is all about her. My goal is to be the best she has ever had or will ever have. My needs are secondary. My total focus is on her and sending her to places she never imagined. That is what gets me off.
As an INFJ I can attest to having a vivid mind and overly elaborate scenarios that can be quite kinky at times. But our people pleasing ability can get in the way of that, so if a partner is not into that, their well being and pleasure takes precedent over our own desires and wishes. nothing to me is more off-putting than a (sexual) partner who does not enjoy themself. I mean if my partner is not happy in a relationship, how can I? that only goes so far obviously, but lust for your own sake never works, it has to be a synthesis, not a one-sided thing, otherwise, pleasuring yourself works pretty good too, say when your partner is not in the mood. but yeah, that emotional connection is tantamount and requires trust, openness, vulnerability and getting to know each other pretty good usually. to let someone in into our "inner sanctum" in a sense takes a lot. We do not open that door for everyone. you need a vip pass for that.
I might be alone in this, but I have a slightly different take on one point hehe. So basically for me, intimacy (in whatever degree) is tied to a person and not an activity. In this case, sex in and of itself isn't necessarily intimate and can be enjoyed casually (and/or frequently) like other activities with people. It's essentially using the same given body parts to generally feel the same type of similar sensations / potential pleasures, regardless of it being different people. It's indeed within and through profound and complex connections true intimacy is formed. Getting to know, understand and accept each other / share and feel pure emotions, discuss and grow from each others pain, fear, shame, regret, hopes, dreams, wishes etc. That level isn't reachable by many people. Unlike sex, which by nature is more a simple physical act of pleasure in comparison, but still a fun time, even if void of any connection. It becomes something beyond sex if it's with someone you have reach that intimate connection as I mentioned. Same as having conversations with others, often it's the intimate bond with close friends what makes those meaningful, but can also be considered valuable / appreciated in some way with a complete stranger. Anyway, just a quick 'in a nutshell' thought as I killed some time :).
Usually simple physical acts of pleasure are mentally unhealthy. Its actually a huge problem we face today in society. An oversexualized society leads to less and less of those connections that are something beyond sex, and why as you said “That level isn’t reachable by many people.” Because sex is what held that bond. It gets to where sex is just sex. No matter who it is with. Two people with that emotional connection, but when they have sex, its just sex. A good time that feels good. The emotional bond has no reinforcement. Its a relationship destined to fail. Like any drug, you build up a resistance to those endorphins, and hormones that cause close bonds. Making long term relationships almost impossible. Someone with many partners, will continue to seek something they don’t get from their current partner. Which all have strengths and weaknesses. More partners, equals being used to more strengths in all areas. Something no one person can ever satisfy. Which ultimately leads to infidelity, deception, etc. I do understand your train of thought. Especially when someone is young, and male. Because its easy to actually view it as completely meaningless. Because it usually is. A guy has 100 partners, he wont even remember 1/2 their names. A female usually remembers every aspect of them all, and can’t help but subconsciously compare. Men as well, but for us it doesn’t cause the same “unfulfilled“ feeling that suddenly not having all those strengths causes. Sex without those emotions toward someone seems like validation seeking to me. We should be concerned about the other persons well being as well. Just having fun, is also another partner for the other person. Which in our society, and to men. It’s generally a very low number that makes them not long term partner material. Which generally speaking creates the experiences of those in this comment section saying they are done, and modern women are not worth the risk. Because the more extrovierted types. Comparatively speaking, almost all of them. Lol Become very toxic. The same as the modern male “Alpha” phenomenon does to women. Combine the modern feminist “I don’t need a man except for sex.” With the modern Alpha, “Women are supposed to obey their man.” mentalities. It creates this world we live in. Single parents, and divorce. The incapability of being monogamous. Creating more single parents and divorce. Which causes a majority of the children becoming emotionally damaged. Narcissistic or to a much lesser extent more empathetic. Who rarely heal. So theyre on antidepressants, falsely diagnosed with ADHD, etc etc. Along with the unfulfilled adults. Who also get put on anxiety and antidepressants. While being told “Anxiety and depression can happen for no apparent reason.” There’s ALWAYS a reason. We can train ourselves to believe anything. “Its just fun. No harm done.” What we can never do, is lie to our subconscious. It may take years, but it will always let you know eventually “Thats not OK.” Sorry.. ramble ramble ramble. Thoughts just keep pouring out. Im sure some get it, those that don’t, I apologize for the book of random thoughts. They literally never stop. lol Also not meant to be offensive or judgmental to anyone. Just my two cents, and can’t say whats best for everyone. We are all in this sht show together. ❤for everyone.
The SN may be an exception. Things are quite real and meaningful in those ….situations. Lol The world is a wonderful place. Good times good times. 😂Well, until your up to a buck fifty per night, three times a week.
What she said! Exactly! I’m a male and this is especially difficult dating in todays hookup culture. I look for making a connection while the woman is looking for just physical pleasure. They are confused in why I’m not making a move.
Totally! While I detest how society generally has become enormously superficial and hollow, I still strongly believe that looks can carry a lot of information, but can very easily be deceivable.
Everything fits except the thing that I like beautiful people. I can not like someone pretty if they are arrogant and unpleasant, especially to me, but looks really matter to me.
OH MY GOD! I needed this exact video 10 years ago! Thank you for this I was laughing with fulfillment and excitement at the sheer accuracy of everything in this video =D =D
Well, I can be attracted to someone but being attracted to them physically isn't really what it is. It could be the personality and characteristics of that person that makes me attracted to them and possibly intellect..... And sometimes the potential that I see in that person and what they can be and achieve... And what we possibly could achieve together if that person happens to be in my life later on..... I guess I like who I like.
I'm a full-on infj however, although I don't choose a partner specifically for their looks, it still plays a very important part for me if I were to feel attracted... I don't know about any of you out there but it can make or break it for me.
Same... they have to be at least somewhat attractive.. I think many infjs out there may not want to admit this. We not only value quality of intellect, but also beauty where ever we find it.
My fantasies over sex, are extemly normal and non deviant. I have been alone for years, even though I have money and AM rather good looking. But people hurt me. Women hurt me because they want to be right.
.. and expect you to constantly prove that youre an alpha. Always need to pretend that you are certain about everything. Remaining open to other possibilities is weak
The emotional connection- yes. No emotional connection, no turn on. Which is why I do not understand a friend of mine who feels like he made a mistake by marrying his best friend and now not feeling turned on by her. To me, your best friend- assuming physical attractiveness- is exactly who you should be turned on by in that "Marry me and let's make babies." knd of way. But, maybe that's because my best male friends were always kind of borderline on about to become lovers.
Thank u very much for this one. Romantic and sexual stuff not much disguessed here on web, if it comes to NF types such as infj types. Very helpful. Thx much. My brain thought infj are not interested in romance, nor kissing, tbh, coz they not communicate even on web, but clay and lexy both infj, show and share. Thx. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Oh my god!!! You explained my soul and my secrets! Yeh now I know why I am a demisexual...And why I have some fantasys poetic, romantic and with espiritual and very deep conection, like twin flame soulmate....We infj want to melt our souls with the person we love and poetic thinks are very exciting for us, like flowers under the bed, candles, wine, say poems and love words , wispering, trust deeply in our parthner, fell that we are loved for them...Without this intimicy don't work for us. Thank you so much!❤❤❤ñ
Sad we can't just learn about ourselves as we grow and experience life. It is an adventure not a video description. Me, I love a good looking man but there has to be much more.
Lots of INFJ women in the comments. I have wine, music, incence, and I'm about to make a lasagna. You're welcome to join me if you bring good ideas, questions and conversation.
How very interesting, I always thought I was an "Asexual", but "Demisexual" really does sound more accurate. But in all honesty, I think I would be too self conscious to call myself that. 🤔😏 Because it sounds like I'm calling myself a "Demigod", and I'm not that pretentious 😅.
Demi- and Recipro- sexualaity are both classified under asexual, so you're not wrong. I feel like a lot of us INFJs fit, personally feel torn between both.
I hate it when a man is arrogant! Even when a woman is! I know 4 me it's relationships r all about emotional depth, mutual respect aka my libra born trait, n respecting each others boundaries n personal space, beliefs, background etc....... I hate when people r like " Y r u so sensitive 2 EVERYTHING"? IM JUST LIKE " I DIDN'T ASK 2 B BORN THIS WAY"! LOL YA KNOW?
This is also very true. It means sex is not frequent. As a gay man, my approach to sex is not welcome to most of the gay community. Sex there is much more transactional.
Yes, exactly. It took me a little too long to understand that aspect of gay “culture”. I’d get with a guy and feel his attraction and I would absorb it, then afterward I’m like, what happened - what was that? Interesting how men only seem to value what they have to work hard to get, but even then, once got, it’s on to the next conquest (I’m that way, ambitious in life, just not with intimacy). Makes me happy that today younger folks are abandoning the binary labels, we humans are much more complicated than the classifications of the crowd.
My whole life passed me by and I was never fortunate enough to meet a woman I truly wanted, who was my type, for to be in love with me and understand me and be a romantic partner to me. A college girl with a nice figure from a good home and family, who was active and adventurous and wanted to scuba dive with me. Wasn't much to ask but I could never meet one.
I'm wondering if other INFJs find it difficult to simply experience their own sexual experience. I am so good at feeling others, that I often get lost when it comes to my own pleasure, which feels essentially selfish. Fantasy becomes my go-to erotic experience because with individuals, including those I love, I find it hard to separate from their needs and wants.
I’m an INFJ and I have indulged in FWB plenty of times and didn’t have any issue with it. Sometimes it’s so much easier as I don’t have to put up with all of the other person’s crap, nor do I risk being hurt. So it’s win win. I think there’s plenty more to sexuality than personality alone.
lol, I must admit all of my relationships have started with a "one night stand". That said, I'm usually the one racing ahead planning a future, & gets told off & to slow down.
I was born with a highly charged sexual aspect but kept it to myself with great restraint. When I met the person I thought would be my lifelong partner, I gave100% of myself to them, love, devotion and I trusted them. When she broke that trust and wanted out of the relationship, I was devastated. I truly thought she felt the way I did. I could barely endure the pain I felt and was in a state of shock. I switched to a different college and tried to move forward with my life. Something changed, I found myself having thoughts like, "I can't believe I was ready to commit to one person for the rest of my life. I'm young and there are so many different and beautiful people to experience." I abandoned my restraint and went with the flow of my new lust and sexual rationalizations. In just a few weeks time I was quite surprised that I was inundated by women who wanted to be with me. Many were aggressively competitive with each other. Over the next two years I had an embarrassing number of intimate encounters, sometimes because I was lustful, other times because I didn't want to hurt someone who was trying so hard to get my attention. Then, I stumbled upon someone who literally took my breath away. I never felt such a powerful magnetic pull, it seemed like I had no choice, this was the person I was destined to be with. We eventually got married. We rarely discussed our past relationships, no point, we were together now, the past didn't matter. When we were in college our social circles overlapped and we shared many friends. Of course, we kept in touch with most of them after we graduated. Nice, right? The problem was, over the next several years bits and pieces of our past relationships began to fall out of conversations with friends and land in our conscious thoughts. It turned out that we both had a couple years where we abandoned our self discipline and in hindsight regretted this period of poor decisions. We decided to let it go, we both messed up but we both got our acts together, got married and started a new chapter. But, the knowledge of our pasts kept creeping into our thoughts. I sensed a negatively surrounding our marriage, a distant resentment from my wife. When we wanted to be intimate, unwanted thoughts of her past would pop into my head. I eventually developed a crippling psychological form of E.D. which, didn't matter to her, the resentment she had towards me turned into disgust. Our pasts slowly unraveled and finally ended our 13 year marriage. We both thought we could let it go, forgive and forget, we made mistakes. But it was impossible to unsee it. Over the years it has also come to light that we deeply hurt some of the people we so casually gave ourselves to, not realizing that playing with people's hearts is playing with fire.
I dont like conventionally attractive people because i have my own concept of attractive. This doesnt mean i can be with someone who im not attracted to
I'm at my wife a long long time ago when I used to be able to drag her around by the hair. I think I was hunting Mastodon when I met her the first time. We've been together for eternity how many different times. Are tribes have been interwoven throughout the ages. She know she's the only woman in I'll ever love. It started a long time ago when I used to drag her around by her hair. She didn't like it then she doesn't like it now maybe I might have evolved but I'm not sure I would still dragging her around by her hair. It's a good thing they made rules for that
I'm not a hopeless romantic. I'm just hopeless. I'm permanently stuck in Friendzone with absolutely zero chances of that ever changing. Nobody has ever wanted to so much as go have coffee with me, let alone be in a committed relationship with me. Due to particularly bad circumstances beyond the control of either of us my last attempt at dating ended in a real disaster and since then I thought the hell with it. It's just not worth it. F🤬 the whole dating scene. And I don't mean in the bedroom when I say that.
@@harryboyes2812Im not saying you haven’t done so. You still have to be in the position for it to happen. “Wake up, go to work, drive home” doesn’t leave much room for new connections. Unless your job entails consistent line of being introduced to new people.
@@91GT347 Actually, yes it does. But that's never helped either. "Try new things, do this, do that." Heard it all before, tried it, got nowhere. So don't tell me I need to do whatever. I already have.
@@harryboyes2812 Maybe you are better off. Listen to the horror stories of all too many of us men who have been put through the mill by women and you will know what I mean.
Yes, I'm an INFJ female, n I feel my personality makes me attractive 2 others! All facts listed above relate n resonate 100% with me! My chameleon like approach 2 human communication naturally effortlessly n unknowingly draws people towards me! I'm definitely a people magnet by nature! Yet I don't like people cause im an INFJ n I seem weird or odd 2 people who first meet me! N even after they meet me I'm still weird lol 😂! Hilariously mysterious am i! 😂🎉😊😮💚💙🩵💜💯😇🙏🙌🫶💪 I'm very proud 2 b so highly alert n hypervigilant! Im proud 2 b such a multifaceted individual!
Hey PSYCH-Os!👋
*So, do you think personality type has an effect on one's sexuality?*
Comment down below 👇
yes, Im constnatly hit on by ugly women. Inside or out.
EVer FKd a whore? They were the closest thing to being a stranger but know how to service me. I did that one time, And she feel inlove with me. TReated me good for years.. of course she was still a whore, but at least I got it for free, and anyway I wanted. I know how this may sound. But it was the safest emotion sex, I have every had, outside a intimate relationship as a demisexual. That is why secretly in my heart. I like whores, for what they are. Not that I pay for it.
Of course it has - it's a whole! And thank you for very interesting videos!! ❤
get a realjob
2 BE very clear: In Most infj infp I never thought they Had sexual Feelings at all. No gentle touches, no flirt, No Talk about Sex, cuddles, Kisses, hugs...the only 2 infj I consider as "sexual" are infj Clay and Lexy. Greets.
"...it's not impossible for the INFJ themselves to be left utterly speechless and uncomfortable with just how odd their mind can be at times." So true 😂
hmmm.... yep...
So much so that we keep it to ourselves most of the times. 😂
Unless we blurt our mind out..!
Yep very true! Our minds r like am ancient mysteriously secret voyage 2 b uncovered! LOL 😂 😊😅🎉❤
definately have had a malfunction where someone does the right amount of absurd and unexpected things back to back leaving me in a deer in the headlights state of stunned and mentally incapacitated.
Infj woman doesn’t like excess pda or vulgar gestures. Speaking for me we are intellectuals. Attraction is never just based on looks. We take the intellect, sensitivity and overall self awareness to qualify real attraction. Character is really number 1.
True!
I think most of us have a set of values we look for. For me, it's integrity; compassion and kindness; intelligence with an open mind, a religious understanding and sense of humour. Looks, money, social status, mean nothing.
but as a infj male... that gets in the way of a simple, relaxed , fun time...
TURN OFF THE EXPECTATIONS
Sometimes we take the pheromones with open arms. Because it is so fascinating to see nature work
Yes
As an INFJ woman, I can say for myself arrogance in a man is completely a turn off for me for the reasons listed. When arrogance comes into the play in sexuality, for me, I feel it bastardizes the vulnerability involved in opening oneself in one of the deepest ways. It’s almost as if the other person who is expressing this trait is looking at you as if they’ve conquered you, rather than seeing your choice of vulnerability with them had arisen from your own free will and acceptance of them. So it was the utter polarity of it, as acceptance implies humility.
I agree❗ I also will have real good looking guys for friends not lovers for many reasons. ✌️💖
@@carolferguson19 very first thing a competent man looks at in a woman is her balance between how many male friends she has verses how many girlfriends she has. More male than female is a clear sign those poor unsuspecting, clueless souls are merely waiting their turn in line. Sad fact, but in every society, past, present or future, still a sad fact.
So well spoken
Spot on
Well said 100%
As an INFJ woman I can relate to that, emotional security is the most important ❤️❤️
Definitely
I definitely agree
Absolutely true for me.
I’m this way as an INFJ Man, so it goes both ways ❤
Absolutely...I saw another video describing INFJs as "sapientophiles," i.e., as individuals for whom deeply meaningful communication is essential in a sexual relationship.
Yes
Physical attraction fades as the relationship grows, we love our partners by their character first.
For me as INFJ man, attraction grows the more I learn and know the person, the more emotionally closer we get and grow together, person becomes more physically attractive and need for connecting physically grows more and more.
I like different people. For me, run of the mill good looks and ideas leave me cold. I want someone who's unusual and smart, as well as kind and friendly.
I am definitely demisexual. Even as a child, and into my teen years, I never wanted a shallow, sex/appearances-based relationship. I never wanted to kiss or have sex with someone based on what they look like. In school, when other teenagers were getting in and out of relationships every other week, and talking about their sexual escapades with pride... I found it all disgusting, and listening made me feel depressed and frustrated.
I do have an overactive imagination, and I dream and daydream a lot, including sexual fantasies. These fantasies can be crazy, and go completely against my own morals and values... but even in those moments, I know I would *never* actually do the things I'm thinking of. Even if the fantasies turn me on at the time, they only do so because they are in my head.
The thought of *actually* having any sort of sexual encounter with anybody other than a true partner for life, actually makes me sick. It's not an option for me.
INFJ male here, covered it all perfectly. My personal experience though when I was unhealthy and in an extraverted sensory addiction mode twists a lot of this to making awful choices in partners and doing things I normally wouldn't have been comfortable with. When we really can't state our boundaries and will do anything for the person we choose it can get very, very ugly for us if they're toxic. It's so important we don't lose ourselves in our hopeless romanticism and are able to state our boundaries!
Thankful for the many experiences it's given me lost in that state, despite the trauma it's now a source of peace knowing I can provide a vast variety of pleasure from those mistakes for the person I love and share that with. Took a long time not to be ashamed of sadly.
Thank you for sharing. It's as if I wrote this myself...😔
When we love, we love with all our being.
That's not a bad thing, just needs to be the right person!
INFJ woman here.. definitely this all feels true. When I am truly in love with somebody and feel completely comfortable with them my mind goes very spiritually high vibrational ideas and places.. so when I was once with my husband of 13 years, (about 11 years into the relationship LOL it took me this long to get to this level of I don't know what? Spirituality? Sexuality?) suddenly I saw us in a garden with marble walls on one side and one side was open-air looking out into a world of beautiful fruit trees and lush gardens.. and in the moment seeing all this beauty turns me on and made me way more passionate. It was so bizarre because when other people talk about their sexual fantasies or experiences nobody I know has ever been through this..
Wonderful! I've recognized that too...
Yes this is because we want melt our souls with our loved person.
I have to visualise them with me kind of a mental "permision" before I can go forward in the next steps
I have, and later on I thought they were past life scenes. We are multi-dimensional and can experience this through the pineal gland.
@@gabrielle9563 So true! And to look at this in a spiritual way the 'merging' becomes a complete lack of identification with self. It's the surrender with another that signals complete acceptance .And I think this also describes us. Lonely souls looking to become one with another. Words don't do it justice.
All very true. The acute empathy translates into bliss for any partner lucky enough to experience it. 😉 ✌🏼
Wow. I thought I was like this because of my upbringing. Pair rarest personality type with super rare childhood. I grew up in a Christian cult community, but no communes- just super strict, no sex before marriage, no dating-> old school courtship, didn't watch TV, sex was bad, EXCEPT in marriage! And even that was only for procreation! Yeah, because you can just flip it on and off. And I try to tell me husband- I'm the real deal! Sex with strangers is not exciting to me. Actually, it's terrifying!
I bet I know the religion...well.
And experienced same.
Survived and thrived eventually...on the other side of it. Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Sex with strangers is not exciting.
Absolutely spot on. INFJ woman 👠
Amazing! Thank you for the feedback 😊
This is pretty realistic.. I usually end up doing my partners fantasies..instead of my own..I want my partner to be happy..❤
In every situation (other than the bedroom) I find myself within myself, observing others and trying to pick up on what is making them tick. I am calm, cool, and self assured and may appear a bit passive. But once we are in the bed with that special one, the gloves come off. I go into intense mode. It is all about her. My goal is to be the best she has ever had or will ever have. My needs are secondary. My total focus is on her and sending her to places she never imagined. That is what gets me off.
Perfect 💕
Agreed 💯
"What's your kink?"
"Seeing and enjoying the look on your face while you climax and how many times I can make that happen, does that coubt?"
As an INFJ I can attest to having a vivid mind and overly elaborate scenarios that can be quite kinky at times. But our people pleasing ability can get in the way of that, so if a partner is not into that, their well being and pleasure takes precedent over our own desires and wishes. nothing to me is more off-putting than a (sexual) partner who does not enjoy themself. I mean if my partner is not happy in a relationship, how can I? that only goes so far obviously, but lust for your own sake never works, it has to be a synthesis, not a one-sided thing, otherwise, pleasuring yourself works pretty good too, say when your partner is not in the mood. but yeah, that emotional connection is tantamount and requires trust, openness, vulnerability and getting to know each other pretty good usually. to let someone in into our "inner sanctum" in a sense takes a lot. We do not open that door for everyone. you need a vip pass for that.
INFJ-A + INFJ-A is the perfect couple of the most magical romances
I've never met one. .
"INFJs are considered demisexual."
Yeah, I was afraid of that. It makes meaningful relationships these days incredibly difficult...
I might be alone in this, but I have a slightly different take on one point hehe.
So basically for me, intimacy (in whatever degree) is tied to a person and not an activity.
In this case, sex in and of itself isn't necessarily intimate and can be enjoyed casually (and/or frequently) like other activities with people. It's essentially using the same given body parts to generally feel the same type of similar sensations / potential pleasures, regardless of it being different people.
It's indeed within and through profound and complex connections true intimacy is formed. Getting to know, understand and accept each other / share and feel pure emotions, discuss and grow from each others pain, fear, shame, regret, hopes, dreams, wishes etc. That level isn't reachable by many people.
Unlike sex, which by nature is more a simple physical act of pleasure in comparison, but still a fun time, even if void of any connection. It becomes something beyond sex if it's with someone you have reach that intimate connection as I mentioned.
Same as having conversations with others, often it's the intimate bond with close friends what makes those meaningful, but can also be considered valuable / appreciated in some way with a complete stranger.
Anyway, just a quick 'in a nutshell' thought as I killed some time :).
Usually simple physical acts of pleasure are mentally unhealthy. Its actually a huge problem we face today in society. An oversexualized society leads to less and less of those connections that are something beyond sex, and why as you said “That level isn’t reachable by many people.” Because sex is what held that bond. It gets to where sex is just sex. No matter who it is with. Two people with that emotional connection, but when they have sex, its just sex. A good time that feels good. The emotional bond has no reinforcement. Its a relationship destined to fail. Like any drug, you build up a resistance to those endorphins, and hormones that cause close bonds. Making long term relationships almost impossible. Someone with many partners, will continue to seek something they don’t get from their current partner. Which all have strengths and weaknesses. More partners, equals being used to more strengths in all areas. Something no one person can ever satisfy. Which ultimately leads to infidelity, deception, etc. I do understand your train of thought. Especially when someone is young, and male. Because its easy to actually view it as completely meaningless. Because it usually is. A guy has 100 partners, he wont even remember 1/2 their names. A female usually remembers every aspect of them all, and can’t help but subconsciously compare. Men as well, but for us it doesn’t cause the same “unfulfilled“ feeling that suddenly not having all those strengths causes. Sex without those emotions toward someone seems like validation seeking to me. We should be concerned about the other persons well being as well. Just having fun, is also another partner for the other person. Which in our society, and to men. It’s generally a very low number that makes them not long term partner material. Which generally speaking creates the experiences of those in this comment section saying they are done, and modern women are not worth the risk. Because the more extrovierted types. Comparatively speaking, almost all of them. Lol Become very toxic. The same as the modern male “Alpha” phenomenon does to women. Combine the modern feminist “I don’t need a man except for sex.” With the modern Alpha, “Women are supposed to obey their man.” mentalities. It creates this world we live in. Single parents, and divorce. The incapability of being monogamous. Creating more single parents and divorce. Which causes a majority of the children becoming emotionally damaged. Narcissistic or to a much lesser extent more empathetic. Who rarely heal. So theyre on antidepressants, falsely diagnosed with ADHD, etc etc. Along with the unfulfilled adults. Who also get put on anxiety and antidepressants. While being told “Anxiety and depression can happen for no apparent reason.” There’s ALWAYS a reason. We can train ourselves to believe anything. “Its just fun. No harm done.” What we can never do, is lie to our subconscious. It may take years, but it will always let you know eventually “Thats not OK.”
Sorry.. ramble ramble ramble. Thoughts just keep pouring out. Im sure some get it, those that don’t, I apologize for the book of random thoughts. They literally never stop. lol Also not meant to be offensive or judgmental to anyone. Just my two cents, and can’t say whats best for everyone. We are all in this sht show together. ❤for everyone.
The SN may be an exception. Things are quite real and meaningful in those ….situations. Lol The world is a wonderful place. Good times good times. 😂Well, until your up to a buck fifty per night, three times a week.
What she said! Exactly! I’m a male and this is especially difficult dating in todays hookup culture. I look for making a connection while the woman is looking for just physical pleasure. They are confused in why I’m not making a move.
@@91GT347
Love the polite way you call a slut a slut.
This is spot on and should be a must to share with the person whom you are in a relationship with...infj's are complex.
Totally! While I detest how society generally has become enormously superficial and hollow, I still strongly believe that looks can carry a lot of information, but can very easily be deceivable.
Everything fits except the thing that I like beautiful people. I can not like someone pretty if they are arrogant and unpleasant, especially to me, but looks really matter to me.
I don’t think it’s only just your personality type but also very much of past experiences.
Very true, great point
Ive been hurt every single time. So I go WTF is wrong with women.
OH MY GOD! I needed this exact video 10 years ago! Thank you for this I was laughing with fulfillment and excitement at the sheer accuracy of everything in this video =D =D
That's awesome, thank you for the kind feedback!! 💙
INFJ and Demi for sure 👍🏽
This all makes so much sense 😅
Well, I can be attracted to someone but being attracted to them physically isn't really what it is. It could be the personality and characteristics of that person that makes me attracted to them and possibly intellect..... And sometimes the potential that I see in that person and what they can be and achieve... And what we possibly could achieve together if that person happens to be in my life later on..... I guess I like who I like.
I'm a full-on infj however, although I don't choose a partner specifically for their looks, it still plays a very important part for me if I were to feel attracted... I don't know about any of you out there but it can make or break it for me.
Same... they have to be at least somewhat attractive.. I think many infjs out there may not want to admit this. We not only value quality of intellect, but also beauty where ever we find it.
Same but it's about who I find good looking and attractive n not about who majority people see as attractive
@@Shadowmode-w9j exactly, I never go by what other people think is attractive I go by my own standards. 👍
@@Shadowmode-w9jI totally agree with this. 😂
Me too. Looks are important but second after character.
I prefer the term hopeful romantics 😊
I'm stealing this!!
1000% accurate. Again! Great video!
Hopeless romantic where hopeless is the key word.... definitely need to feel like we are not alone in our responsibilities....
There needs to be a dating site for INFJs only. But it wouldn’t work…because none of us would want go go on there to date anyone 😂
😂
I dont mind to go on dates. Its a bit awkward for me...but if the other person is cool then its fine
I am woman tested INFJ spot on 💯 all of this.
My fantasies over sex, are extemly normal and non deviant. I have been alone for years, even though I have money and AM rather good looking. But people hurt me. Women hurt me because they want to be right.
They have lack of intelligence❗
.. and expect you to constantly prove that youre an alpha. Always need to pretend that you are certain about everything. Remaining open to other possibilities is weak
An INFJ, as a male, doesn't need the showing of love and drama everytime but deeply they crave for it
The emotional connection- yes. No emotional connection, no turn on. Which is why I do not understand a friend of mine who feels like he made a mistake by marrying his best friend and now not feeling turned on by her. To me, your best friend- assuming physical attractiveness- is exactly who you should be turned on by in that "Marry me and let's make babies." knd of way. But, maybe that's because my best male friends were always kind of borderline on about to become lovers.
Thank u very much for this one. Romantic and sexual stuff not much disguessed here on web, if it comes to NF types such as infj types. Very helpful. Thx much. My brain thought infj are not interested in romance, nor kissing, tbh, coz they not communicate even on web, but clay and lexy both infj, show and share. Thx. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Oh my god!!! You explained my soul and my secrets! Yeh now I know why I am a demisexual...And why I have some fantasys poetic, romantic and with espiritual and very deep conection, like twin flame soulmate....We infj want to melt our souls with the person we love and poetic thinks are very exciting for us, like flowers under the bed, candles, wine, say poems and love words , wispering, trust deeply in our parthner, fell that we are loved for them...Without this intimicy don't work for us. Thank you so much!❤❤❤ñ
Twin flame has become the only next merging for me. I already know her existence and future arrival, and its all so delicious and extraordinary. ❤😎
Absolutely 100% spot on!
Merry Christmas ❤ hope you guys are doing alright
This is crazy accurate!
Your career title, car u drive the home u own
Or assets mean little to
Its the nature of your
Character
I want
To see.........
Sad we can't just learn about ourselves as we grow and experience life. It is an adventure not a video description. Me, I love a good looking man but there has to be much more.
Wow hallelujah glory to God hallelujah thank you Jesus Hallelujah 😊😊😊😊😊
Utter validation!
Well, that's spot on perfect! Yup
Definitely plays a part
I think so too!
Completely accurate! This is me!
Very accurate analysis 😍.
All points are 100 percent accurate for me. INFJ male
Spot on!
We have our ways that sometimes can't be explained.
Very sensitive indeed.
Why
Idk
Lots of INFJ women in the comments.
I have wine, music, incence, and I'm about to make a lasagna.
You're welcome to join me if you bring good ideas, questions and conversation.
hahahahaha
@@sharongrenier1667 Hasn't worked yet. 😄
Definitely a part
Yup, 98% spot on for me.
Wow how do you know this stuff⁉️✌️💖🤙
Perfect!❤
Thank you for watching! 💙
How very interesting, I always thought I was an "Asexual", but "Demisexual" really does sound more accurate.
But in all honesty, I think I would be too self conscious to call myself that. 🤔😏
Because it sounds like I'm calling myself a "Demigod", and I'm not that pretentious 😅.
Demi- and Recipro- sexualaity are both classified under asexual, so you're not wrong. I feel like a lot of us INFJs fit, personally feel torn between both.
Very true ❤
Yes, totally❤
Right on!
I hate it when a man is arrogant! Even when a woman is! I know 4 me it's relationships r all about emotional depth, mutual respect aka my libra born trait, n respecting each others boundaries n personal space, beliefs, background etc....... I hate when people r like " Y r u so sensitive 2 EVERYTHING"? IM JUST LIKE " I DIDN'T ASK 2 B BORN THIS WAY"! LOL YA KNOW?
Exactly!
This is also very true. It means sex is not frequent. As a gay man, my approach to sex is not welcome to most of the gay community. Sex there is much more transactional.
Yes, exactly. It took me a little too long to understand that aspect of gay “culture”. I’d get with a guy and feel his attraction and I would absorb it, then afterward I’m like, what happened - what was that? Interesting how men only seem to value what they have to work hard to get, but even then, once got, it’s on to the next conquest (I’m that way, ambitious in life, just not with intimacy). Makes me happy that today younger folks are abandoning the binary labels, we humans are much more complicated than the classifications of the crowd.
(HOPE FULL Romantics) 00:49 Number 1: They are hopeless romantics
My whole life passed me by and I was never fortunate enough to meet a woman I truly wanted, who was my type, for to be in love with me and understand me and be a romantic partner to me. A college girl with a nice figure from a good home and family, who was active and adventurous and wanted to scuba dive with me. Wasn't much to ask but I could never meet one.
Infj rule #1. No limits in exploration.
❤ definitely resonates
Spot on
there is something in sexuality that is far from truth and make an INFJ in a uncomfortable situation even though you are really loving. isn't it
❤❤❤❤❤ spot on
Amazing vid, 0 images of older adults or same sex relationships.....
INFJ male here and i know im just not made for modern American women. No thank you!
Your comment caught my eye. Asking out of interest or curiosity: can you elaborate more on why modern women women are not for you.
me too. i had women & wife for awile & that was fun. but now, bc of hypergamous women / mgtow, it is time to avoid most if it all. bc it is a hot mess
No! Average American women are not made for you! I prayed to the Lord for a wife and eventually I met her.
@@iraqiimmigrant2908 lucky! now follow your owners manuel or your claims may get denied ok
@@CakewalkingbabyHe feel attacked because women defend herselfs.............
I hate that I'm like this..
I'm wondering if other INFJs find it difficult to simply experience their own sexual experience. I am so good at feeling others, that I often get lost when it comes to my own pleasure, which feels essentially selfish. Fantasy becomes my go-to erotic experience because with individuals, including those I love, I find it hard to separate from their needs and wants.
I’m an INFJ and I have indulged in FWB plenty of times and didn’t have any issue with it. Sometimes it’s so much easier as I don’t have to put up with all of the other person’s crap, nor do I risk being hurt. So it’s win win.
I think there’s plenty more to sexuality than personality alone.
lol, I must admit all of my relationships have started with a "one night stand". That said, I'm usually the one racing ahead planning a future, & gets told off & to slow down.
FWB????
@@laraoneal7284 friends with benefits
I was born with a highly charged sexual aspect but kept it to myself with great restraint. When I met the person I thought would be my lifelong partner, I gave100% of myself to them, love, devotion and I trusted them.
When she broke that trust and wanted out of the relationship, I was devastated. I truly thought she felt the way I did. I could barely endure the pain I felt and was in a state of shock. I switched to a different college and tried to move forward with my life.
Something changed, I found myself having thoughts like, "I can't believe I was ready to commit to one person for the rest of my life. I'm young and there are so many different and beautiful people to experience." I abandoned my restraint and went with the flow of my new lust and sexual rationalizations. In just a few weeks time I was quite surprised that I was inundated by women who wanted to be with me. Many were aggressively competitive with each other. Over the next two years I had an embarrassing number of intimate encounters, sometimes because I was lustful, other times because I didn't want to hurt someone who was trying so hard to get my attention.
Then, I stumbled upon someone who literally took my breath away. I never felt such a powerful magnetic pull, it seemed like I had no choice, this was the person I was destined to be with. We eventually got married. We rarely discussed our past relationships, no point, we were together now, the past didn't matter.
When we were in college our social circles overlapped and we shared many friends. Of course, we kept in touch with most of them after we graduated. Nice, right? The problem was, over the next several years bits and pieces of our past relationships began to fall out of conversations with friends and land in our conscious thoughts. It turned out that we both had a couple years where we abandoned our self discipline and in hindsight regretted this period of poor decisions. We decided to let it go, we both messed up but we both got our acts together, got married and started a new chapter. But, the knowledge of our pasts kept creeping into our thoughts. I sensed a negatively surrounding our marriage, a distant resentment from my wife. When we wanted to be intimate, unwanted thoughts of her past would pop into my head. I eventually developed a crippling psychological form of E.D. which, didn't matter to her, the resentment she had towards me turned into disgust. Our pasts slowly unraveled and finally ended our 13 year marriage. We both thought we could let it go, forgive and forget, we made mistakes. But it was impossible to unsee it. Over the years it has also come to light that we deeply hurt some of the people we so casually gave ourselves to, not realizing that playing with people's hearts is playing with fire.
Cocky and confident are 2 different things.
That sounded so much like me
I dont like conventionally attractive people because i have my own concept of attractive. This doesnt mean i can be with someone who im not attracted to
I am a Clinical Social Worker and also an INSJ, and I think this is a Very Biased and Untrue portreal 😢
I'm at my wife a long long time ago when I used to be able to drag her around by the hair. I think I was hunting Mastodon when I met her the first time. We've been together for eternity how many different times. Are tribes have been interwoven throughout the ages. She know she's the only woman in I'll ever love. It started a long time ago when I used to drag her around by her hair. She didn't like it then she doesn't like it now maybe I might have evolved but I'm not sure I would still dragging her around by her hair. It's a good thing they made rules for that
I feel very seen by this video
The images are making me sick lol.
Ain’t it the truth! Thank gawd all INFJs are evidently straight, white yuppies with perfect skin and bodies. Gimme a break! It’s too offensive
What????
I'm not a hopeless romantic. I'm just hopeless. I'm permanently stuck in Friendzone with absolutely zero chances of that ever changing. Nobody has ever wanted to so much as go have coffee with me, let alone be in a committed relationship with me. Due to particularly bad circumstances beyond the control of either of us my last attempt at dating ended in a real disaster and since then I thought the hell with it. It's just not worth it. F🤬 the whole dating scene. And I don't mean in the bedroom when I say that.
It is when you truly are 'over' seeking a mate, that is when you very likely will find one.
@@rnedlo9909 Not so. It's been 10 years since I stopped trying and I'm still alone. So I say BS.
@@harryboyes2812Im not saying you haven’t done so. You still have to be in the position for it to happen. “Wake up, go to work, drive home” doesn’t leave much room for new connections. Unless your job entails consistent line of being introduced to new people.
@@91GT347 Actually, yes it does. But that's never helped either. "Try new things, do this, do that." Heard it all before, tried it, got nowhere. So don't tell me I need to do whatever. I already have.
@@harryboyes2812 Maybe you are better off. Listen to the horror stories of all too many of us men who have been put through the mill by women and you will know what I mean.
Why is all of this true
❤
Describes me well❤️
I think we can have emotions with sex or not. For me sex can just be sex. I chose how much it means to me🤷♀️
Yes, I'm an INFJ female, n I feel my personality makes me attractive 2 others! All facts listed above relate n resonate 100% with me! My chameleon like approach 2 human communication naturally effortlessly n unknowingly draws people towards me! I'm definitely a people magnet by nature! Yet I don't like people cause im an INFJ n I seem weird or odd 2 people who first meet me! N even after they meet me I'm still weird lol 😂! Hilariously mysterious am i! 😂🎉😊😮💚💙🩵💜💯😇🙏🙌🫶💪 I'm very proud 2 b so highly alert n hypervigilant! Im proud 2 b such a multifaceted individual!
who is the girl on the thumbnail?
Where were the queer couples? Plenty of LGBTQINFJ’s… 🙄🤨
Hilarious that the title speaks to complexities and oddities, then the whole vid is hetero/binary 😂
All I can say is.... ain't that the truth 😭
No. Almost correct but seeing some one is not sexual
.this American bs makes it like that
Being nic3 and seeeing you is not sexual
.
Let's talk about sex