When i Said ”I’m done with you” he persecuted me and punished me by stealing my baby boy away from me. 13,5 yrs later , no child and I am still healing. I will never heal from this mental spiritual abuse (he cannot abuse me physically for 13,5 yrs so he abuse me in other ways)
I'm a true blooded fire sign, and I can only hold my tongue for so long. I stood up for myself for the 3 decades I was in the narcissist relationship, and all it ever did was lead to heated arguments with lots of gaslighting and no accountability. Always my fault. Not one apology from him in over 30 years, not once!
@she, honestly, you sound so much like me! I just told him right to his face that I couldn't take it anymore. I was expecting a rage, but I would have stood up to him. Have a great day. 👍🌞🌈🫠
@@jannlewandowski5540 I'm a very blunt person, but honestly, it got me absolutely no where with him or another narcissist friend I've dealt with. All it did, was create reactive abuse, but at least I know I tried my best. You have a beautiful day dear heart. ❤️🌻✨️
@@Divinely_Guided444I know exactly 💯💯 I got the same reactive abuse I'm fire,.straight shooter(Sagittarius) I understand Sherry,.hope your keeping well,lots of love sent,🌹🌻🤗💖💖✨🦋🙏
It’s amazing how when we reach that “I’m done” point, it brings such clarity & empowerment. It doesn’t mean the battle is over but in my opinion at this point, you will know that the battle is a choice. ❤
Near the end of my relationship with the narcissist, he proudly talked about how he had discarded his wife for 2 months. Of course he didn't use the word discard, but when I told him that him not talking to her for a week would have impacted her mental health (we were talking about a different scenario), he then he said, that's nothing, I once left and didn't talk to her for 2 months. Like, what?! Of course she was paying the bills, she'd brought him to this country via marriage, and he discarded her whenever wanted, same as he did to me. Scumbag!
Narcissists tend to have selective memory in that they minimize or forget what others do for them but also tend to be busy when asked for help and / or maximize & exaggerate what they do for others.
My ex narc was very selective in his memories. Narcs make me sick - they should be reported for what they do to people. They cause so much mental scars.
When you finally say you are done, it is game over. There is no coming back. The mere thought of the narcisist makes you feel sick. Thank you for everything you said Andrew. Exactly the case. God bless you❤
I am grateful i filed for child support on the narcissist and have the courts remind him of his financial obligation to our child. He will probably use the resources of his new supply to pay for it....smh. thank god Im out of it
I am reading where people have been dealing with this years. My neighbor of 30 years harassed, terrorized, stole, vandalized, lied, and blamed. Luckily a long time ago I started fight back. He hated hearing the word "NO". All while he treated his property like the Taj Mahal. I recently found out that he is going to put his house on the market - I thought I would be shocked - my prayers have been finally answered. Mostly I feel relieved hoping to just sit back and finally enjoy my property - in peace. There is a God.
Omg, yes re the money!! He kept telling me he had a $400K settlement coming, so he would pay me back then. That was 4 years ago. Total scammer and liar!!
This is why my time alone is so necessary. When I am with the narc I cannotsee this because I was so consumed with their stuff. There was never any time for me. I kept sinking lower an lower till my will to fight back was gone. At those points I had no power to leave or standup for myself. I am grateful to Andrew an all of you on this path!
I went no contact with my parents for 7 year's . Then when my mum died i went back in and the last 2 and a half years had been Hell. I wrote a letter to my dad saying all that happened to me as a kid and i said i was done. He replied saying i had ruined the family, have never taken responsibility for it, this is why my sisters have never forgiving me for the way i treated their parents, yet a month ago he was telling me they never forgave our mother for the way she treated him. He made me the scapegoat , he assigned the roles in the family, im awake to it all now. Im so glad its over and back to no contact, i do have boundaries with everyone. Enough is enough.
I finally had enough and walked away. I didn't even think twice about it. Recently I went no contact and blocked the narcissist every which way I could. I'm on the healing path and know I have a long way to go. I never knew how strong I was. Thank you Andrew for the encouraging words.
Your videos are my life raft. That’s exactly what happened to me . I said the money tree in the backyard died . Still tried to suck money out of me , I said no ,they ran out of my home ,and never returned. I guess I should be counting my blessings through the healing process. Thanks Andrew🙏🥰
0:47- (After the narc is late again waiting for a ride) "Hey, I'm not a chauffeur!"--Abuse target "Why are you trying to CONTROL me?!"-The NARC deflecting and strawmanning (from my experience)
If you are ever with someone and they leave you speechless with their words or behaviour..quickly get out, ive found that to be a huge sign of a narcissist!
I've been ill all day with a gastro intestinal issues and can't keep food down. In so much pain and discomfort and the family member that I live with knows this. She asked me to cook for her and said, sorry, please do takeout. On my way to do an errand close by to avoid being totally sedentary (I am still not feeling well, have not eaten), she asks me to run an errand and pick up another meal for her. I get back and she's complaining about the food. No "thank you", no "how are you?". I let her know that it comes across as tone deaf to ask someone who is ill/unable to eat to pick up food for you. Her response is "well, I just won't ask you anymore". No apology, no accountability. I can't.
Hope you’re feeling better soon Shannon, bloating and gastro intestinal issues can feel debilitating. 🙏 I had them too for years, later discovered I have gluten and lactose intolerance, maybe check that avenue and see if that could be at the root of your health issues. Another thing that doesn’t help of course is high levels of stress and anxiety that toxic people create to all those surrounding them. If you can and are able, seperate yourself from them. Praying for you that you’re feeling better soon 🙏💗🌷🌿
@WouldRecommend Thanks for your kind words. I cut out gluten and dairy years ago and not sure what the issue is here yet. But yes the stress of living with a toxic person doesn't help. The family member is a sibling with mobility challenges and I help her with tasks about the house - happily. The thing is, she doesn't even bother to acknowledge me or say "hello" or "good morning". The first words out of her mouth when she sees me is "I need x". I just spend most of my time hiding in my office avoiding her and let her care staff handle it.
@@smustipher Hey Shannon, I can see how it would be difficult for you to cut all ties with the narcissistic person, I too have a special needs child with mobility and cognitive disabilities, so I can relate with you. I like how you said you help your sibling happily, it shows what person you are and that you truly care. She treats you the same way my narc husband treated me, never a hello, good morning, a kind word, I wasn’t worthy of one. But funny thing is, he found his voice after I caught him red handed doing despicable things, then all of a sudden he started saying “good morning” to me every day. It shows you that they are fully aware of what they’re doing, they choose to treat others poorly. I guess in your case avoiding them as much as possible is the only thing you can do, and look after yourself, maybe go see a naturopath and see if they can help you with your gut health issues. All the best to you.
4 months ago I didn't know what a real narc was, but I got tired of the toxic cycles and so did her uncle so he booted her and that meant her over to my house. That's when I drew the line and said you are not staying here and you need to find a place. One day later a crackhead from the city came and got her, 100% downgrade, this made me realize I was grade A supply. 4 months zero contact and I dumped the narc!
Thank you for this talk The boat analogy is the best way ive heard it. She tried so hard to sink my boat yet expect me to help repair hers, unbelievabe
The day I realized that the narc didn't love me, had never loved me, and abused me, I found my backbone and began my healing journey and it has been a long journey with twists and turns,hills and cavernous valleys and numerous detours until one day a NARCDAILY video popped up on my social media network via algorithm and I got the education about toxic and narcissistic abuse that I needed to propel me forward and to freedom!!!!! TY Andrew and God bless. 🙏✌️❤🤓😎😊
I remember being floored when my narc said they didn't believe they should ever have to compromise to be in a relationship. Of course, that privilege was reserved only for them, no one else, who were all required to compromise to accommodate them.
Ya I just got a passive aggressive dig about five minutes ago..my "boyfriend" of six years just came in for his break he conveniently works across the street..I'm at his place and sleep on the floor in his living room with my dog Bates..I live in my own house by myself about ten minutes away so I am the one to sleep at HIS PLACE..he just came in and said.."try. To do something productive today" ..I work and have spent six months trying to find a surgeon for my dog..he finally got a surgery he has needed to save his life and it has been an emotional rollercoaster but he is healing has stitches so I'm up constantly giving pain meds and monitoring his his wound..warm compresses..e collar adjustment..I finally passed out and slept a couple of hours..this dog is like a child to me..and I think my Narc boyfriend is jealous he isn't getting the attention..I'm not a lazy person and he had to say that just. As I woke up cuz he slammed the door..noise campaign..digs This man would NEVER find a woman that would give six years of their life being future faked on a regular basis..that's why I still live alone..no help with repairs or lawn mowing I do it all myself..BUT..I have to be MORE PRODUCTIVE..um..getting close to a change..it's coming.. BOSTON ☘️
Great video Andrew. In my narcissistic relationship many times I stood up for myself it would end in him getting angry and yelling. It was always the same, then he would come back begging me to forgive him and that he was going to change. Or he would say things are going to be different I love you so much etc. I would forgive him time and time again. But it was always the same. I was discarded, so I walked away from everything and kept waking. I'm better now than I have been in a long time. Thank you Andrew and thank you everyone for your kind words.
When I stood up for myself; I was informed that I was all done and there was someone else all lined up and ready to go. I had already been in the process of being replaced. I wasn't informed of it, until I stood up for myself.
You should thank God you were being replaced. You could have been hurt even more if the narc hadn't moved on. I know how much it hurts, but remember, the replacement is now taking the punishment that was being inflicted on you.
Anytime I voiced indifference, or placed any type of boundary before the narcissist, I was punished. Didn't realize it at the time because of the fog I was in. Once, my ex narc was groping a barmaid in front of me, trying to stick money in her pocket. She looked very uncomfortable, and I definitely was. When I said this to him, he wanted to leave. He looked really embarrassed, but instead of apologizing, he dropped me off at home and said he needs to go home and be alone. I felt at the time that he went back to the bar, to further engage with the barmaid... AKA Supply. Now, looking back, I am confident that that is exactly what happened. Thank you, Andrew. I always get so much out of all your videos.❤
That is true Is empath telepathy. The way we look in the rearview mirror via (hindsight ) is an amazing thing .we can see without a shadow of a doubt that we were exactly right, our intuition does not lie. He for sure went back to that bar. Some of the things we sense in our heart, we never should wanna see in real time because it's sickening to the heart. Just knowing is ENOUGH . BLEZZ # KEEP DA CHANGE
Thank you for posting this. Remember though, take the information with a grain of salt. Come in with compassion and patience. Setting healthy boundaries and good communication is a positive sign. Narcs utilize these things in unhealthy ways. Please be careful out there. Stick to your boundaries, love yourself because you have the strength to see the beauty in all things. Good luck
Good morning beautiful souls! Yes. The day and moment I stood up, the Cluster B split personalities, her mask crumbled to the ground, and that demon was fully exposed with the blackest of eyes. I paid dearly for 20 years. Emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically, and financially. Cut the proverbial head off the snake and left it! It’s been peaceful and abundant ever since, but it came with great excruciating pain until I realized what was at my side for 20 years and what the hell I was dealing with…the Devil in all it’s envious, manipulative, malevolent fear, hate, shame, and guilt. The Narcissist and The Empath is a battle of the soul; armor up! Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
Yes standing up is very important. When I stand up for myself I walk away. I don’t even try to argue with them, it gets nowhere and feeds them…Choose what you will and will not tolerate and give your energy to. Example: “I will not allow you to waste my time” or “I will go where my time is appreciated” and then walk away. Or…say nothing and just leave! Part of the problem is these people are enabled by society. Keep being your best self and love yourself too. ❤
As a daughter of a malignant sadistic one parent, and addict another parent , i was terribly confused about what was right and wrong for most of my life . but finally i rescued myself from a bunch of narcissists AND as much enablers and got my life to restart . So happy with these life ...i am 62 now using the opportunity god gave me to restart beautiful calm and brave new life , with so much balances and healing process for my post trauma issues
@@rubyjet9513 thank you so much , i really guess that for some unknown reason god chose me to be saved from this hell , i am so full of gratitude for my rescue process
Good morning Andrew and everyone. I HAD ENOUGH! We had a date, and I wanted to end it. I said a Prayer for Guidance. Perfect plan! I told him to meet me in a "well lit" parking lot, and I came prepared, MENTALLY. My insides were shaking, and I got into his car. I remember saying that "I want to tell you something." While staring at me, I said "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, AND I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET RID OF YOU." He looked shocked, surprised, and confused at the same time. I immediately jumped out of his car, got into mine, and drove home. I was shaking and crying, but I did it. It was not the best way to discard, but it worked. This was 12.4 years ago. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! HE'S GONE...👍🌈
Jann i think that when we have reached the point of no return there isn't a good or bad way to do things. We just know that we must do it, period. It took you a lot of courage and i admire you. I am glad it all worked out for the best for you. 🙌💪💖
@emilywilson7308 Oh, he is in Therapy. I told him if he didn't TRY, he can't stay with me. Our entire family is deceased. We have 1 cousin. He's doing better, thank God. His Therapist is a narc survivor. Thank you for asking.🙏🙏💕
It was Andrew, dr Ramani, DSD & dr Carter who helped me make sense of the utter madness. For that, I will always be truly grateful. Edit: And Paula channel: narc on. I couldn’t remember Paula’s name but couldn’t put just narc on in the first line, Prefer to use 1st names waffle waffle adhd, sorry.
Your videos, and comment section are an outstanding source of inspiration for me, my narc earlier today was visibly upset that I wasn't giving my normal subservient self away, then he angrily gave me a list of things to do (something he never had to do angrily), I calmly stared at the middle of his forehead while he was braying, and when he finished spewing bile I calmly said "right now, I'm recharging myself, I'll get those things done when I get recharged", then he began telling me what he was going to do, I cut him off and said "you'll be able to do what ever you want to do", then shut the door, and walked to my house feeling a little frightened, and strong at the same time. I'm telling you two months ago, I would have dropped anything to do what he said. Now with the same vigor, and singleness of purpose that I would perform his tasks, I'm now using that determination to protect myself from his vile words. After 81 months of zero meaningful dialog, I'm starting to see the light.
I broke my no contact right before my 7 month mark....To say I am disappointed is an understatement ....I have still learned enough from Narc videos that I have to get back to NO CONTACT and I refuse to beat myself up....I must keep pushing forward....Stay Solid ....
The final straw for me was my great Aunt passed and left me money. My then husband of 30 years forged my name on the check. Took it to the bank and cashed it. It wasn't a great deal of money 3,200. But i had told him i wanted to start a savings account for me. All through the years i had always given him my money from work and inheritance for him to put into our join account. And i never saw or used any of it. Because I trusted him. I never got my money back....there isn't a statute of limitation on a felony in the state the check was written. I will be forever grateful to my great Aunt for opening my eyes. I was to used to his uncaring behavior toward me but I was too busy working, raising kids and trying to do everything at my home. He had a bad back and was on disability. He couldn't do anything at home but went on cruises with his parents. Now it all makes sense.
"I was too busy working ..." part of the reason ( plus exhaustion ) why it was easier to float in that fog of denial for myself. Never stepped back to survey what was truly happening. I know your life has improved big time by now after getting rid of the user.👍
This was a huge issue with me. I did in the beginning, but after so many arguments and threats of eviction, etc., I got to where I wouldn't rock the boat. I wouldn't always have the resources to move out, and had no one to help me. Living with that man in his house was a big mistake. He could always out yell, fuss, cuss, punch holes in walls, etc., worse than me, and it intimidated me. He seems upset now that I dislike him, and doesn't understand why. Narc's are unbelievable.
I've been gone 2 weeks and my wife is banging down my door while I hide in the bathroom. WTH ..she had years to treat me better and all she did was threaten to murder me...those words...not kill,murder. Im over it.
When I stood up for myself I was accused of being a "smart arse". You cannot win either way. It's humiliating and degrading. I'm not the person I used to be but I'm trying to remain strong. Andrew,you are part of my daily routine now. I do my morning pilates and listen to you. So grateful as always for your wisdom 🙏❤️
I got out of the relationship twice, and felt sorry for him yet again. I have really had to make a conscious decision to put up a wall in order to get out of this again. Your coaching on these videos are helping me tremendously!
I went that path ( though I don't know your circumstances). It didn't seem to be getting better-worse, in fact. I called the Narcs out a few times and it was forgotten or angered them. They simply tried to increase their Flying Monkey/Hyena base. Patience and being a nice guy didn't work. Then, I found this channel. Life is good.
@@jhavajoe3792 Calling them out will sometimes improve their behavior but they will go back to the way they treated you before. You are 100% right. This channel has helped me for sure.
This experience is my Crucible, my cauldron, my smith, my hammer and Anvil, l the IRON , an empath , have had enough, lm at the Exit stage, thank you so much for your wisdom, may God bless you.
I was on such a slow burn for 24 yrs. When I finally knew I was at the end, I was extremely calm, his phone in my hand,all the hidden info I had found. Was over, made him pack,go to a hotel or wherever and never come in this house again. He told mediation “ it was inhuman what I did. I’m sure hahahaha, no anger here,time to take out the trash. My healing began 3 months before I discarded, he got real sloppy. I started therapy long before that day. Oh Andrew you are SO right. I had moments did I do the right thing? It’s been 7 months divorce signed. Yes it was the right thing.
So true. My discard came the day after my ex and I had a discussion about him wanting to go abroad to a country alone, that he'd previously made a huge deal about envisioning us going to together. He was saying things like "you won't enjoy it as you don't like travelling", when I love travelling to new places and he knew that. So I said "Would you still go alone even if it would mean the end of us?" and he replied yes. The next day, after an evening of him trying to get some last things out of me and not succeeding, the discard came. Also agree about the expectation of expensive gifts, I think because they can't appreciate the love that goes into gifts that are full of thought, that don't need to cost the earth. Great video Andrew 🙏
Like socks. I have to come back and get socks. Nobody's coming back to my house for anything. That was after the police removed him and I got a restraining order he said he needed socks.! Go buy your own socks now I'm not doing that for you anymore :-)
@@dianawelles1726 Sounds like the restraining order was effective for you. In my case, the narcissist refused to show up for the hearing after I got the temporary RO. After evading the service by the Sheriff by not answering the door, and being a no-show to 4 RO hearings, I stopped. What was the end result? The narcissist saw it as a "win" and it inspired him to take aggressive action against me. It also taught the narcissist how to game play law enforcement and the judge.
I agree ,never met such an arrogant person who refused to leave my home and laughed when I had to evict him and said, I could have left a month ago but no u stayed to torment me and waste my money . Never again.
@@loris4814 I know a woman whose narcissist didn't let her into her own apartment. Into her property. Not even to take hers personal things. They really don't give up until the last second.
My instincts were telling me 3 months into the relationship to run, but I didn’t listen. A yr. And a half later after several times of leaving and going back , I’m finally out. I miss the man I met , not the man I came to know. I knew something was off with him from the beginning. Never took accountability for anything, empty promises, cocky attitude, me paying for lunch, dinners, groceries. Gaslighting. Listen to your instincts and run, run as fast as you can and don’t look back. Yes it’s hard, and it hurts because they become all you know. But it’s ok, you will heal in time, I am healing now…it takes time, courage and strength but we can do it! Thank you Andrew for another great video!
You are saying exactly the same thing I went through exactly! I knew something was off from the very beginning... As well as everything else you said...Wow!
When I caught him red-handed, no amount of gaslighting was going to rescue him. He had let himself come undone, the mask was gone. He had nowhere to hide, as desperately as he tried to clutch onto broken straws. He had got away with so much in the past. Not this time. This was the ultimate betrayal, the ultimate last straw, the road with no return. Never saw it coming. Thought I’d lose my mind. I had put up with so much in the past, I was taught to be submissive. Not anymore, there was much more than myself at stake. I finally had the reason, strength, determination and ferocity of a lioness. You don’t mess with her cub. She will rip you to shreds.
I was financially dependent on my EX. But I worked for him, he earned the money, but I did all the things that were "no big deal". As I was reminded of on a regular basis. I set a boundary and literally was left on the side of the road, but in the car, so it must have been my fault. There are so many ways to twist perception. Becoming dependent on someone who just wants to do what they do (whatever it is) is a good way to lose yourself. I think it is important to point out that there are ways they use to control others that may appear to outside observation as care and concern. It is demoralizing and devastating to say the least. Especially when you are repeatedly threatened with being left with nothing if you don't comply with their way of life.
I can’t thank you enough Andrew for all your advice and wisdom 🙏🏻 I’ve been in no contact with my narc ex for about 4 months now and every time I watch one of your videos I feel great about my decision of leaving her, everything made sense now to me and I’m glad I’m finally out of that MANIPULATIONship 🤦🏻♂️ Again thanks for all your content and really glad I found your channel ❤
As I look back on all the toxic relationships, my standing up for myself was walking away. Because of education here and a beautiful mentor who identified a core issue (people pleasing) I have put boundaries up (like that fence behind Andrew- nice setting by the way ☀️ 🌳) and I’m gaining strength as I maintain my fence line. Hope that makes sense. Now relationships that remain must be honoring/respecting to ME just as much as I would honor and respect their fence ❤❤❤ Great message. I could’ve commented on so much more, but that’s what I have to share. Hold firm everyone. No tolerance 🚫 for narcissistic or toxic abuse or people 👎 Have a great afternoon 🙏❤️
Heeyy Chelsea, good morning, and I hope you're doing fine. Today I don't feel too good. Sinuses are bad, plus headache. Will be leaving the room very soon. GREAT to see you, as usual..😃💕🌈🌞🫠
Hi Chelsea, walking away was the education i had too and i have done that for years. In my case it never worked. When i did that the toxic person would just keep pushing harder to impose on me what he or she wanted me to do. I learned years ago by reading a book that responding by a passive agressive method like just walking away or ignoring the person can't work. With toxic people speaking up and saying no and not explaining ourself is the way to get rid of them for good that makes them hit a wall sort to speak. Now that is what i do. I have done it at work with a narc and now i am free of him. Not easy to do for empaths like us but it's worth the try. I just thought i would share this with you. Have a lovely sunday my friend. 😊💞🙌🙏
@@jannlewandowski5540 oh I’m sorry Jann. Those sinus issues can be so WEARING. Please 🙏 take care of yourself. I’ll pray for you. Heading to work. Allergy meds taken ✔️ Big hugs 🤗 ❤️🩹
@@mariefrancebourget1749 oh you’re absolutely right Marie! I should’ve clarified. When I said that I walked away, that meant: I quit working for a toxic employer (walked out) , left a toxic family long ago (walked out), left some toxic leaders in ministries (walked out) and of course personal relationships same. That was my problem. I never held boundaries or even knew how to set them. Now I do. Thanks to this amazing community and Andrew and my mentor and GOD. Much love. Your comment helped me even though I’m actively doing what you say. I need to remain with people focused on the same quality things. Have a great day 💖🤗
I paid the mortgage and financially supported my kids while he was saving his business. Well, true to form, he wasn’t at work, go figure and he’s far from broke. Makes it easy to divide the assets. All these years, he told me he had nothing. This should be easy to settle, but of course, he’s not complying. Gotta save face and the cash accrued jointly through the marriage. Thank you, Andrew. Your videos in the natural world are inspiring!
My standing up for myself was When I Left the Narcissist!!! And Moved Far Away!!! That was setting my Boundaries and standing up for myself!🥰🙏🙏🙏it’s so wonderful to be free and living a good life again with loved ones 🙌💕❤️🥰
Yes. Be prepared and do not alert them of your decision, just behave differently according to your boundaries. They will not like it and will challenge them. Stay strong.
@@lourdesecheverria6209 Yes !! Excaping an abuser can be difficult. They hate you but will not let you go. They need a punching bag around and they have chosen their target. You :(
When I began putting up my bounderies, whoa was he madder than you know what! Bounderies are a lifesaver regarding these until you can finally get out and stay out! No contact is best weapon! You are so right Andrew!
Got my Hoover attempt dripping with honey in a birthday card yesterday. Went NO contact before Easter & this is a PATTERN of disrespect of my choices. Not falling for the trap.....BYE NARC!!! 🎀😘
I agree with another commenter; all I got was punished. Passive-aggressiveness, rage, stonewalled, et al. Every time he cowled me with those forms of intimidation, and it was far too late that I realized I long crossed into doormat territory from people pleasing. He knew I loved him, truly, and took advantage of it at every turn. He is now trying to hurt me through our daughter since I refused to take him back when I finally woke up after the final discard, and it's so painful and I worry for her every day, as she is currently trauma bonded to her father like I once was.
I totally get where you are coming from? I was on the receiving end of something similar. A light bulb moment...I have been wondering why my daughter can't see her father's behaviours for what they truly are? She's angry with me and not him. She's "trauma bonded", you said it! It all makes sense, seeing it written in your comment. May God protect both our daughters and heal them from the pain. Thank you for sharing. It really hurts to be discarded but God will strengthen us. They never knew how to love us and they will eventually reap what they've sown. We deserve so much better and to live in peace. We can build on that one day at a time. God bless have a lovely day.
@@angelacahill9083 The thing I try to keep in mind with my daughter is, while she is hot and cold with me right now, she knows deep down that I have proven time and time again that I love and will always be there for her, while her father has proven the opposite. It really sucks, and he is creating conflict in her, which leads to her outbursts because she loves both of us. I have to tell myself daily to just love her, and not feed into my narc ex's attempts to break me again through her. She will wake up one day... My heart just hurts for her.
Yes I told second former spouse , " I've got your number!" He didn't change he just upped the pressure and abuse. I was feeling I was in a tailspin! I watched for more signs of him leaving. We had to make one more trip out of state, then I saw him buying clothing. I took my leave as soon as we got back home. The next verbal outburst, I left and went to my planned safe home!
Exactly, when I finally stood up for myself with my Aunts badgering me I was labeled having anger issues and told that I’m just like my father. Interesting because I didn’t grow up with my father but I did grow up with them and my mother. I was the escape goat in the family so I’ve been conditioned my whole life that I deserve to be treated like I’m a slave or worse yet a half breed. I’m part Native American so oh well, ug pardon me if I slink off to my teepee ⛺️ and stay away from the British Royalty 🤨🤪
So very sorry you were treated that way. I understand because I was always told (in a disgusting way) that I looked like my mother's sister(whom she hated, but I realize now that she was really pretty) and I acted like my father, whom I never met, but was told, he was very abusive to my mother. It has taken me a lifetime (I am now 80) to realize my mom was a narc, but I have completely forgiven her in my heart, and actually pity her for the life she led as a result of her narcissism. They are more to be pitied than hated, but pity them at a distance. The only way to deal with a narc is to not deal with a narc.
@@marym8028 Thank you for being supportive. I don’t hate or dislike either of my parents, I didn’t really know my father but I tried. He did have a mean side but he was also a lifer in the military. I should have enlisted but instead I married a guy in the Air Force instead. Most of the men in the family have military backgrounds. My brother was navy, I have a cousin who was Marines and his brother graduated from Annapolis and was an Admiral. It’s ok I still have the heart of warrior 👍💪💪
You are right Andrew. Standing up for ourself is the pivital point for ending a narcissistic relationship. It is THE KEY. Because narcs can't stand boundries and the word NO. They will try to fight it with all they have by devaluating us with a violent argument but we have to stick to our guns and show them that they can't intimidate us anymore. I experienced it with a coworker, a guy at work and i succeeded at keeping him away from me. And also narcs seek revenge after we stood up to them all the time with the smear campain. But it does not matter because it only shows how little these narcs are and that by not paying attention to their violence we are stronger than they are. And we are above all the low blows they throw at us. Great video Andrew as always. Have a fun and beautiful sunday coach. ❤❤❤😊
Good morning my friend Marie France...the way I ended it was a little dangerous, but I believe he was more frightened than I was. It's been great without him. I wish you a wonderful day..🌞💕🙂
@@jannlewandowski5540Hi Jann, i am sure that he feared you because narcs are cowards. I am glad you are all right Jann and now free of him. Enjoy you day my friend. ❤🤗
Their smear campaign says a lot more about THEM than it does ourselves. Anyone they succeeded in alienating from me is actually a ginormous favor. (Thanks for pointing out hostile people I never knew I had my life before, NARC... If that's all it took for someone to join Team Hate, I consider that as a HUGE BLESSING IN DISGUISE in my life. Subsequently my life improved as a result ironically. Addition by subtraction can work for me too!!)
I told a co-worker that I did not care who she thinks she is but she should take her pathetic problems out on someone else as I will not tolerate her actions any longer.
Yea the breaking point came when he threatened to take the 2boys, back to his Country,.i put up with the insults for years, gambling all his wages,i supported me and the kids for years,,,i felt un loved, so much,,the kids remained with me,,,thank God none of them are like him,,even after the divorce we couldnt shake him off for years,,,We All deserve peace in our life,,,and cash in our pocket,💯💖💖💖✨✨
💡 moment: They give you things, so you'll give them things; then they ask for their things back, but never give your things back. ❤ 🙏 to Andrew & everyone
Thanks, Andrew! So, I've been dealing with narcissistic and/or toxic relationships most of my life...Recently, I met someone and I've been taking it extremely slow...We were on the phone today, and I shared how s****** my day was. He came back with, your day has nothing on mine...So, I spoke up and said, "why is there a need to compare who has had a worse day?" Then I said something else, and he said "a joke" towards what I said...I told him to stop dropping these backhanded insults towards me and he hung up the phone on me! My boundaries are getting stronger! 😁
Thank you put a current narcissist friend in their place. He said,"Why are you acting like this? Why are you talking to me like that?". Told him, after 6 years of knowing you I've always stated my boundaries,you just haven't been listening,nor do you care about my boundaries. I'm done with you being a dick to me and talking down to me.". God that felt good. I've said that before it's just that when your done your point is clearly made. Many blessings all
I find that these individuals have to be in charge no matter what , they appear as if they have all the rights and you have none ! Poor behaviour follows them everywhere !
TY ANDREW, Everything you say....makes complete sense. They really make you feel like it's us...because they are NEVER wrong...God Bless LOVE AND PRAYERS...
Narcissist is a word I never knew ! Wisdom and knowledge of this term was learned here on your channel.👍 Thank u for the daily videos which keep me grounded and moving forward 😉
Ive just stood up to a friend of over 40yrs and she has said its sad it ended this way, so she would rather end our so called friendship than try to see what she says to me is hurtful.. My answer to that is nothing!!
I identify completely. I just recently reviewed the relationship of a so "called" friend of many years and realized that without my giving and keeping the friendship ongoing it would had ended many years ago. I feel a burden has been lifted and feel freer to be myself. Toxic relationships come in many forms. Blessings to you! ♥
At the end I felt dried emotionally and rock bottom. I told her that she is trying to steal my soul and started to listening my inner voice which was telling me all the time that there is something really wrong with this person - my ex wife. I ignored that and many of red flags too and paid for that big price - health,money,time,depressions,anxiety years of suffering. It was just another episode of encoutering narcisissm because everything started in my childhood and I did not cut off my narcissistic parents off of my life and result was that I pull in another narcissit to my life which was my ex. After I realized all of that and found out that even my mother and father were narcissists and my sister golden child who became a narcissist too. All of them were abusing me emotionally. I cut off all of them.
Fact is when you decide to put your foot down, all hell is going to break out. Before putting foot down, separate bank accounts. They will empty account, bounce checks from one bank to another, and fees for insuffient funds, plus what ever checks written for, shared account, you will be holding the the bag.
Omg when Andrew did that whole dialog between the narcissist and the awesome humans they latch onto….that was exactly how the conversation would go with the energy vampire and I and his tardiness. They are indeed all the same. I don’t miss those days at all!! Freedom is a wonderful way to live❤❤❤
Divine timing standing up for mistreatment in the workplace and I'm the one "punished." I've been aware and detached for a while now. Really proud of myself though and got out with my head held high. Videos like this are inspiring. Forward march
True. A narcissist needs us. We don’t need the narcissist.
💯💯😉
They do not need us. They just groom a new supply.
When I said I’m done it was the beginning of my healing 🙏💕
The hard way but we are aware ! 😉
That’s exactly what i said to the ND when i realized I needed to let it all go. “I’m done”!
When i Said ”I’m done with you” he persecuted me and punished me by stealing my baby boy away from me. 13,5 yrs later , no child and I am still healing. I will never heal from this mental spiritual abuse (he cannot abuse me physically for 13,5 yrs so he abuse me in other ways)
Two years was enough for me. I know exactly what you mean. We don't heal by staying with narc.
This is só ugly….sounds like revenge…….Revenge belongs to the Lord…..How will you ever get happy…….🕊Évery relationship expires, sir.
When you stand up 😂 you get a rage that you never imagined
Exponential Rage!!!
Yup🎉nasty😢
@@sylviacaldwell2139psychosomaticaddictinsane
I'm a true blooded fire sign, and I can only hold my tongue for so long. I stood up for myself for the 3 decades I was in the narcissist relationship, and all it ever did was lead to heated arguments with lots of gaslighting and no accountability. Always my fault. Not one apology from him in over 30 years, not once!
@she, honestly, you sound so much like me! I just told him right to his face that I couldn't take it anymore.
I was expecting a rage, but I would have stood up to him.
Have a great day. 👍🌞🌈🫠
@@jannlewandowski5540 I'm a very blunt person, but honestly, it got me absolutely no where with him or another narcissist friend I've dealt with. All it did, was create reactive abuse, but at least I know I tried my best.
You have a beautiful day dear heart. ❤️🌻✨️
@@Divinely_Guided444You have a great day also. See you in here again. Keep coming back. 👍💞😃
@@jannlewandowski5540 I've been here for a few months. Love everyone...such a great community.
@@Divinely_Guided444I know exactly 💯💯 I got the same reactive abuse I'm fire,.straight shooter(Sagittarius) I understand Sherry,.hope your keeping well,lots of love sent,🌹🌻🤗💖💖✨🦋🙏
It’s so true how they treat everyone nice except for you.
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Strangers, of the same sex….
They want other people’s approval.
They want to be known as a “Nice guy.” It’s B*S!
It’s amazing how when we reach that “I’m done” point, it brings such clarity & empowerment. It doesn’t mean the battle is over but in my opinion at this point, you will know that the battle is a choice. ❤
💪🙏💯
Well said!
Yes!!!!!!
Thank you tribe for your comments. We need to
encourage each other to stay
away from liers and takers. Freedom rocks, and better late than never.❣️
WooHoo🎉
Welcome 💯🙏🙌
True! I'm definitely one of those latecomers.
🙏🙋
Sweet freedom😊
Near the end of my relationship with the narcissist, he proudly talked about how he had discarded his wife for 2 months. Of course he didn't use the word discard, but when I told him that him not talking to her for a week would have impacted her mental health (we were talking about a different scenario), he then he said, that's nothing, I once left and didn't talk to her for 2 months. Like, what?! Of course she was paying the bills, she'd brought him to this country via marriage, and he discarded her whenever wanted, same as he did to me. Scumbag!
😉😉💯💯
Narcissist people are abusive and a chronic Cancer😮
BOUNDARIES = Where you end and I begin.
Yes! Taking care of ourselves is first priority!
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🎉
❤️❤️❤️
Well said 🎉🎉
We all need To say to all psychopaths sociopaths and narcs: MY PRICE JUST WENT UP
Narcissists tend to have selective memory in that they minimize or forget what others do for them but also tend to be busy when asked for help and / or maximize & exaggerate what they do for others.
MikinessAn, YES, they do have selective memories. They are masters of GASLIGHTING too! Thank God they're gone!
Have a great day..😃❤️❤️🌞👍
Absolutely true.
And selective stupidity.
They also create their own narrative. They believe their own lies.
My ex narc was very selective in his memories.
Narcs make me sick - they should be reported for what they do to people. They cause so much mental scars.
I need everyone on this channel. Our tribe
When you finally say you are done, it is game over. There is no coming back. The mere thought of the narcisist makes you feel sick. Thank you for everything you said Andrew. Exactly the case. God bless you❤
Indeed ✌️ 👍
Welcome 💯🙏😌
So true….
I am grateful i filed for child support on the narcissist and have the courts remind him of his financial obligation to our child. He will probably use the resources of his new supply to pay for it....smh. thank god Im out of it
How someone really feels about you? Draw boundaries and the fakes disappear
I am reading where people have been dealing with this years. My neighbor of 30 years harassed, terrorized, stole, vandalized, lied, and blamed. Luckily a long time ago I started fight back. He hated hearing the word "NO". All while he treated his property like the Taj Mahal. I recently found out that he is going to put his house on the market - I thought I would be shocked - my prayers have been finally answered. Mostly I feel relieved hoping to just sit back and finally enjoy my property - in peace. There is a God.
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Omg, yes re the money!! He kept telling me he had a $400K settlement coming, so he would pay me back then. That was 4 years ago. Total scammer and liar!!
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This is why my time alone is so necessary. When I am with the narc I cannotsee this because I was so consumed with their stuff. There was never any time for me. I kept sinking lower an lower till my will to fight back was gone. At those points I had no power to leave or standup for myself. I am grateful to Andrew an all of you on this path!
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I went no contact with my parents for 7 year's . Then when my mum died i went back in and the last 2 and a half years had been Hell. I wrote a letter to my dad saying all that happened to me as a kid and i said i was done. He replied saying i had ruined the family, have never taken responsibility for it, this is why my sisters have never forgiving me for the way i treated their parents, yet a month ago he was telling me they never forgave our mother for the way she treated him. He made me the scapegoat , he assigned the roles in the family, im awake to it all now. Im so glad its over and back to no contact, i do have boundaries with everyone. Enough is enough.
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I finally had enough and walked away. I didn't even think twice about it. Recently I went no contact and blocked the narcissist every which way I could. I'm on the healing path and know I have a long way to go. I never knew how strong I was. Thank you Andrew for the encouraging words.
Your videos are my life raft. That’s exactly what happened to me . I said the money tree in the backyard died . Still tried to suck money out of me , I said no ,they ran out of my home ,and never returned. I guess I should be counting my blessings through the healing process. Thanks Andrew🙏🥰
Welcome 😌💯🙏
Yes the money tree has gone dry
All of these problems stem from having a low self image, and low self esteem. You knew way back, that something was off in the deal.
True! I'm in therapy now recovering. Root cause was my low self-esteem.
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0:47- (After the narc is late again waiting for a ride) "Hey, I'm not a chauffeur!"--Abuse target
"Why are you trying to CONTROL me?!"-The NARC deflecting and strawmanning (from my experience)
Thank u for your committed videos to the empath community. EXPOSE EXPOSE EXPOSE THOSE JEZEBELS....
I love the setting on the video but the big tree keeps moving... Andrew has a lovely smile.
🌳☺️❤️
One of the best days of my life when I told my narcissist, "I'm outa here." Never regretted it!
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If you are ever with someone and they leave you speechless with their words or behaviour..quickly get out, ive found that to be a huge sign of a narcissist!
OMG! so true! Thanks for the reminder!! I just had that happened to me! Like minutes ago!! NAMASTE!
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Spot on!
just recalling how my mind was all over the place trying to keep up with their demands makes me immediately exhausted. I do much better by myself.
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It is exhausting! No more abuse… by anyone, ever again 🤞✌️
An added component here.... TRAUMA BONDING... when.. you know it's toxic, but can't ungrasp. Something really important to learn about... I had to....
I've been ill all day with a gastro intestinal issues and can't keep food down. In so much pain and discomfort and the family member that I live with knows this. She asked me to cook for her and said, sorry, please do takeout. On my way to do an errand close by to avoid being totally sedentary (I am still not feeling well, have not eaten), she asks me to run an errand and pick up another meal for her. I get back and she's complaining about the food. No "thank you", no "how are you?". I let her know that it comes across as tone deaf to ask someone who is ill/unable to eat to pick up food for you. Her response is "well, I just won't ask you anymore". No apology, no accountability. I can't.
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Hope you’re feeling better soon Shannon, bloating and gastro intestinal issues can feel debilitating. 🙏
I had them too for years, later discovered I have gluten and lactose intolerance, maybe check that avenue and see if that could be at the root of your health issues. Another thing that doesn’t help of course is high levels of stress and anxiety that toxic people create to all those surrounding them. If you can and are able, seperate yourself from them. Praying for you that you’re feeling better soon 🙏💗🌷🌿
@WouldRecommend Thanks for your kind words. I cut out gluten and dairy years ago and not sure what the issue is here yet. But yes the stress of living with a toxic person doesn't help. The family member is a sibling with mobility challenges and I help her with tasks about the house - happily. The thing is, she doesn't even bother to acknowledge me or say "hello" or "good morning". The first words out of her mouth when she sees me is "I need x". I just spend most of my time hiding in my office avoiding her and let her care staff handle it.
@@smustipher
Hey Shannon, I can see how it would be difficult for you to cut all ties with the narcissistic person, I too have a special needs child with mobility and cognitive disabilities, so I can relate with you. I like how you said you help your sibling happily, it shows what person you are and that you truly care.
She treats you the same way my narc husband treated me, never a hello, good morning, a kind word, I wasn’t worthy of one. But funny thing is, he found his voice after I caught him red handed doing despicable things, then all of a sudden he started saying “good morning” to me every day. It shows you that they are fully aware of what they’re doing, they choose to treat others poorly.
I guess in your case avoiding them as much as possible is the only thing you can do, and look after yourself, maybe go see a naturopath and see if they can help you with your gut health issues. All the best to you.
4 months ago I didn't know what a real narc was, but I got tired of the toxic cycles and so did her uncle so he booted her and that meant her over to my house. That's when I drew the line and said you are not staying here and you need to find a place. One day later a crackhead from the city came and got her, 100% downgrade, this made me realize I was grade A supply. 4 months zero contact and I dumped the narc!
Thank you for this talk
The boat analogy is the best way ive heard it. She tried so hard to sink my boat yet expect me to help repair hers, unbelievabe
Welcome 🙏😌💯
🎉 best thing ever walking away .🎉😊❤
The day I realized that the narc didn't love me, had never loved me, and abused me, I found my backbone and began my healing journey and it has been a long journey with twists and turns,hills and cavernous valleys and numerous detours until one day a NARCDAILY video popped up on my social media network via algorithm and I got the education about toxic and narcissistic abuse that I needed to propel me forward and to freedom!!!!! TY Andrew and God bless. 🙏✌️❤🤓😎😊
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
I remember being floored when my narc said they didn't believe they should ever have to compromise to be in a relationship. Of course, that privilege was reserved only for them, no one else, who were all required to compromise to accommodate them.
Yes! Most definitely! Rules don't apply to them. I hate the double standard. That's why I got the hell out.
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I love the sound of the church near you every now and then.
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No good deed, goes unpunished. I finally understand what that old saying means. Thank you for sharing your life experiences to help others. 😊
Ya I just got a passive aggressive dig about five minutes ago..my "boyfriend" of six years just came in for his break he conveniently works across the street..I'm at his place and sleep on the floor in his living room with my dog Bates..I live in my own house by myself about ten minutes away so I am the one to sleep at HIS PLACE..he just came in and said.."try. To do something productive today" ..I work and have spent six months trying to find a surgeon for my dog..he finally got a surgery he has needed to save his life and it has been an emotional rollercoaster but he is healing has stitches so I'm up constantly giving pain meds and monitoring his his wound..warm compresses..e collar adjustment..I finally passed out and slept a couple of hours..this dog is like a child to me..and I think my Narc boyfriend is jealous he isn't getting the attention..I'm not a lazy person and he had to say that just. As I woke up cuz he slammed the door..noise campaign..digs
This man would NEVER find a woman that would give six years of their life being future faked on a regular basis..that's why I still live alone..no help with repairs or lawn mowing I do it all myself..BUT..I have to be MORE PRODUCTIVE..um..getting close to a change..it's coming.. BOSTON ☘️
Great video Andrew. In my narcissistic relationship many times I stood up for myself it would end in him getting angry and yelling. It was always the same, then he would come back begging me to forgive him and that he was going to change. Or he would say things are going to be different I love you so much etc. I would forgive him time and time again. But it was always the same. I was discarded, so I walked away from everything and kept waking. I'm better now than I have been in a long time. Thank you Andrew and thank you everyone for your kind words.
Thank you 😌🙏💯
When I stood up for myself; I was informed that I was all done and there was someone else all lined up and ready to go. I had already been in the process of being replaced. I wasn't informed of it, until I stood up for myself.
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You should thank God you were being replaced. You could have been hurt even more if the narc hadn't moved on. I know how much it hurts, but remember, the replacement is now taking the punishment that was being inflicted on you.
@@marym8028 I agree
All I did was tell them, "I am not going to do what you said."
☄️All Hell broke loose!🔥
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Anytime I voiced indifference, or placed any type of boundary before the narcissist, I was punished. Didn't realize it at the time because of the fog I was in. Once, my ex narc was groping a barmaid in front of me, trying to stick money in her pocket. She looked very uncomfortable, and I definitely was. When I said this to him, he wanted to leave. He looked really embarrassed, but instead of apologizing, he dropped me off at home and said he needs to go home and be alone. I felt at the time that he went back to the bar, to further engage with the barmaid... AKA Supply. Now, looking back, I am confident that that is exactly what happened. Thank you, Andrew. I always get so much out of all your videos.❤
gailyhanna5, all because I accepted to dance with him, I ended up in hell for 5 years. NO MORE! Have a great day! 💕🙂👍🌞
Welcome 😌💯🙏
That is true Is empath telepathy. The way we look in the rearview mirror via (hindsight ) is an amazing thing .we can see without a shadow of a doubt that we were exactly right, our intuition does not lie. He for sure went back to that bar. Some of the things we sense in our heart, we never should wanna see in real time because it's sickening to the heart. Just knowing is ENOUGH . BLEZZ # KEEP DA CHANGE
Thank you for posting this. Remember though, take the information with a grain of salt. Come in with compassion and patience. Setting healthy boundaries and good communication is a positive sign. Narcs utilize these things in unhealthy ways. Please be careful out there. Stick to your boundaries, love yourself because you have the strength to see the beauty in all things. Good luck
Welcome 🙏💯😌
Good morning beautiful souls!
Yes. The day and moment I stood up, the Cluster B split personalities, her mask crumbled to the ground, and that demon was fully exposed with the blackest of eyes.
I paid dearly for 20 years. Emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically, and financially. Cut the proverbial head off the snake and left it!
It’s been peaceful and abundant ever since, but it came with great excruciating pain until I realized what was at my side for 20 years and what the hell I was dealing with…the Devil in all it’s envious, manipulative, malevolent fear, hate, shame, and guilt.
The Narcissist and The Empath is a battle of the soul; armor up!
Stay alert!
Stay alive!
Stay strong!
Peace ✌️
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Yes standing up is very important. When I stand up for myself I walk away. I don’t even try to argue with them, it gets nowhere and feeds them…Choose what you will and will not tolerate and give your energy to. Example: “I will not allow you to waste my time” or “I will go where my time is appreciated” and then walk away. Or…say nothing and just leave! Part of the problem is these people are enabled by society. Keep being your best self and love yourself too. ❤
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As a daughter of a malignant sadistic one parent, and addict another parent , i was terribly confused about what was right and wrong for most of my life . but finally i rescued myself from a bunch of narcissists AND as much enablers and got my life to restart . So happy with these life ...i am 62 now using the opportunity god gave me to restart beautiful calm and brave new life , with so much balances and healing process for my post trauma issues
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What a courageous and exceptional woman you are ❤️!
@@rubyjet9513 thank you so much , i really guess that for some unknown reason god chose me to be saved from this hell , i am so full of gratitude for my rescue process
Amen!
@@משהדרום 🙏🙏
Good morning Andrew and everyone. I HAD ENOUGH! We had a date, and I wanted to end it. I said a Prayer for Guidance. Perfect plan! I told him to meet me in a "well lit" parking lot, and I came prepared, MENTALLY. My insides were shaking, and I got into his car. I remember saying that "I want to tell you something." While staring at me, I said "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, AND I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET RID OF YOU." He looked shocked, surprised, and confused at the same time. I immediately jumped out of his car, got into mine, and drove home. I was shaking and crying, but I did it. It was not the best way to discard, but it worked. This was 12.4 years ago. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! HE'S GONE...👍🌈
Hi Jann, I hope you found a place for your brother to go.💕
I'm so proud of you. I don't even know you but I am!!
It's SO HARD to do that
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Jann i think that when we have reached the point of no return there isn't a good or bad way to do things. We just know that we must do it, period. It took you a lot of courage and i admire you. I am glad it all worked out for the best for you. 🙌💪💖
@emilywilson7308
Oh, he is in Therapy. I told him if he didn't TRY, he can't stay with me. Our entire family is deceased. We have 1 cousin. He's doing better, thank God. His Therapist is a narc survivor. Thank you for asking.🙏🙏💕
It was Andrew, dr Ramani, DSD & dr Carter who helped me make sense of the utter madness. For that, I will always be truly grateful.
Edit: And Paula channel: narc on. I couldn’t remember Paula’s name but couldn’t put just narc on in the first line,
Prefer to use 1st names waffle waffle adhd, sorry.
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Me too! 👍. I’m out of the FOG
Same! I watch all of them, plus Danish Bashir he’s amazing too
Your videos, and comment section are an outstanding source of inspiration for me, my narc earlier today was visibly upset that I wasn't giving my normal subservient self away, then he angrily gave me a list of things to do (something he never had to do angrily), I calmly stared at the middle of his forehead while he was braying, and when he finished spewing bile I calmly said "right now, I'm recharging myself, I'll get those things done when I get recharged", then he began telling me what he was going to do, I cut him off and said "you'll be able to do what ever you want to do", then shut the door, and walked to my house feeling a little frightened, and strong at the same time. I'm telling you two months ago, I would have dropped anything to do what he said.
Now with the same vigor, and singleness of purpose that I would perform his tasks, I'm now using that determination to protect myself from his vile words. After 81 months of zero meaningful dialog, I'm starting to see the light.
☀️💯💯🙏
I broke my no contact right before my 7 month mark....To say I am disappointed is an understatement ....I have still learned enough from Narc videos that I have to get back to NO CONTACT and I refuse to beat myself up....I must keep pushing forward....Stay Solid ....
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As stated repeatedly by Andrew and others: It's not easy. It's difficult at times and it's a non-linear healing pattern/effort/progress.💪
Don't beat yourself up.
How are things going today?
It can be hard!!
The final straw for me was my great Aunt passed and left me money. My then husband of 30 years forged my name on the check. Took it to the bank and cashed it. It wasn't a great deal of money 3,200. But i had told him i wanted to start a savings account for me. All through the years i had always given him my money from work and inheritance for him to put into our join account. And i never saw or used any of it. Because I trusted him. I never got my money back....there isn't a statute of limitation on a felony in the state the check was written. I will be forever grateful to my great Aunt for opening my eyes. I was to used to his uncaring behavior toward me but I was too busy working, raising kids and trying to do everything at my home. He had a bad back and was on disability. He couldn't do anything at home but went on cruises with his
parents. Now it all makes sense.
Thank you for sharing this 😌💯🙏
"I was too busy working ..." part of the reason ( plus exhaustion ) why it was easier to float in that fog of denial for myself. Never stepped back to survey what was truly happening. I know your life has improved big time by now after getting rid of the user.👍
Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, the backlash of rage is also difficult to deal with. Well worth it though.
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This was a huge issue with me. I did in the beginning, but after so many arguments and threats of eviction, etc., I got to where I wouldn't rock the boat. I wouldn't always have the resources to move out, and had no one to help me. Living with that man in his house was a big mistake. He could always out yell, fuss, cuss, punch holes in walls, etc., worse than me, and it intimidated me. He seems upset now that I dislike him, and doesn't understand why. Narc's are unbelievable.
Thank you for sharing 🙌🙏💯
I've been gone 2 weeks and my wife is banging down my door while I hide in the bathroom. WTH
..she had years to treat me better and all she did was threaten to murder me...those words...not kill,murder. Im over it.
wow! I had to utilize the court system at one point and get a restraining order. Beware! Safety first! Good luck!
now she is in the back trying to get in...may have to call the cops.
When I stood up for myself I was accused of being a "smart arse". You cannot win either way. It's humiliating and degrading. I'm not the person I used to be but I'm trying to remain strong. Andrew,you are part of my daily routine now. I do my morning pilates and listen to you. So grateful as always for your wisdom 🙏❤️
i stand up for myself to late....i stood up before but not in the right way
Same here 😢
@@rosalindamartinez8941 can you tell me your story? i had parents abuser, psychopaths and monsters
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It’s not too late!
I’m 61 years old and it’s not too late. Go forth and be happy without…your narc!
Much love to Andrew and all my fellow empaths becoming more empowered.
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I got out of the relationship twice, and felt sorry for him yet again. I have really had to make a conscious decision to put up a wall in order to get out of this again. Your coaching on these videos are helping me tremendously!
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Not being around them helps to prevent more damage. I sit with the pain and I hope for it to get better.
I went that path ( though I don't know your circumstances). It didn't seem to be getting better-worse, in fact. I called the Narcs out a few times and it was forgotten or angered them. They
simply tried to increase their Flying Monkey/Hyena base. Patience and being a nice guy didn't work. Then, I found this channel. Life is good.
@@jhavajoe3792 Calling them out will sometimes improve their behavior but they will go back to the way they treated you before. You are 100% right. This channel has helped me for sure.
The pain will get better focus on yourself and do the things you once loved and take it day by day.
@@nikkired4925 Very good point!
This experience is my Crucible, my cauldron, my smith, my hammer and Anvil, l the IRON , an empath , have had enough, lm at the Exit stage, thank you so much for your wisdom, may God bless you.
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I was on such a slow burn for 24 yrs. When I finally knew I was at the end, I was extremely calm, his phone in my hand,all the hidden info I had found.
Was over, made him pack,go to a hotel or wherever and never come in this house again. He told mediation “ it was inhuman what I did.
I’m sure hahahaha, no anger here,time to take out the trash. My healing began 3 months before I discarded, he got real sloppy. I started therapy long before
that day. Oh Andrew you are SO right. I had moments did I do the right thing? It’s been 7 months divorce signed. Yes it was the right thing.
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So true. My discard came the day after my ex and I had a discussion about him wanting to go abroad to a country alone, that he'd previously made a huge deal about envisioning us going to together. He was saying things like "you won't enjoy it as you don't like travelling", when I love travelling to new places and he knew that. So I said "Would you still go alone even if it would mean the end of us?" and he replied yes. The next day, after an evening of him trying to get some last things out of me and not succeeding, the discard came. Also agree about the expectation of expensive gifts, I think because they can't appreciate the love that goes into gifts that are full of thought, that don't need to cost the earth. Great video Andrew 🙏
Oh, mine tried to get some last things out of me, as well.
Like socks. I have to come back and get socks. Nobody's coming back to my house for anything. That was after the police removed him and I got a restraining order he said he needed socks.! Go buy your own socks now I'm not doing that for you anymore :-)
@@dianawelles1726 Sounds like the restraining order was effective for you. In my case, the narcissist refused to show up for the hearing after I got the temporary RO. After evading the service by the Sheriff by not answering the door, and being a no-show to 4 RO hearings, I stopped. What was the end result? The narcissist saw it as a "win" and it inspired him to take aggressive action against me. It also taught the narcissist how to game play law enforcement and the judge.
Damn, that sucks
@@dianawelles1726 Socks!
There is no end to Narcissus's shocking arrogance 😱
I agree ,never met such an arrogant person who refused to leave my home and laughed when I had to evict him and said, I could have left a month ago but no u stayed to torment me and waste my money . Never again.
@@loris4814 I know a woman whose narcissist didn't let her into her own apartment. Into her property. Not even to take hers personal things.
They really don't give up until the last second.
Bingo....right?????
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@@marieeakin8534???
@rubyjet9513
Hi Ruby, I was agreeing with you how unreal & shocking it can be!
Sorry for any confusion.
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My instincts were telling me 3 months into the relationship to run, but I didn’t listen. A yr. And a half later after several times of leaving and going back , I’m finally out. I miss the man I met , not the man I came to know. I knew something was off with him from the beginning. Never took accountability for anything, empty promises, cocky attitude, me paying for lunch, dinners, groceries. Gaslighting. Listen to your instincts and run, run as fast as you can and don’t look back. Yes it’s hard, and it hurts because they become all you know. But it’s ok, you will heal in time, I am healing now…it takes time, courage and strength but we can do it! Thank you Andrew for another great video!
You are saying exactly the same thing I went through exactly! I knew something was off from the very beginning... As well as everything else you said...Wow!
So true, all these Demons care about is themselves
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When I caught him red-handed, no amount of gaslighting was going to rescue him. He had let himself come undone, the mask was gone. He had nowhere to hide, as desperately as he tried to clutch onto broken straws.
He had got away with so much in the past. Not this time. This was the ultimate betrayal, the ultimate last straw, the road with no return. Never saw it coming. Thought I’d lose my mind. I had put up with so much in the past, I was taught to be submissive. Not anymore, there was much more than myself at stake. I finally had the reason, strength, determination and ferocity of a lioness. You don’t mess with her cub. She will rip you to shreds.
I was financially dependent on my EX. But I worked for him, he earned the money, but I did all the things that were "no big deal". As I was reminded of on a regular basis. I set a boundary and literally was left on the side of the road, but in the car, so it must have been my fault. There are so many ways to twist perception. Becoming dependent on someone who just wants to do what they do (whatever it is) is a good way to lose yourself. I think it is important to point out that there are ways they use to control others that may appear to outside observation as care and concern. It is demoralizing and devastating to say the least. Especially when you are repeatedly threatened with being left with nothing if you don't comply with their way of life.
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when i finally stood up for myself i felt so much better 👍 😃
I can’t thank you enough Andrew for all your advice and wisdom 🙏🏻 I’ve been in no contact with my narc ex for about 4 months now and every time I watch one of your videos I feel great about my decision of leaving her, everything made sense now to me and I’m glad I’m finally out of that MANIPULATIONship 🤦🏻♂️ Again thanks for all your content and really glad I found your channel ❤
Welcome 🙏💯❤️
As I look back on all the toxic relationships, my standing up for myself was walking away. Because of education here and a beautiful mentor who identified a core issue (people pleasing) I have put boundaries up (like that fence behind Andrew- nice setting by the way ☀️ 🌳) and I’m gaining strength as I maintain my fence line. Hope that makes sense. Now relationships that remain must be honoring/respecting to ME just as much as I would honor and respect their fence ❤❤❤
Great message. I could’ve commented on so much more, but that’s what I have to share. Hold firm everyone. No tolerance 🚫 for narcissistic or toxic abuse or people 👎
Have a great afternoon 🙏❤️
Heeyy Chelsea, good morning, and I hope you're doing fine. Today I don't feel too good. Sinuses are bad, plus headache. Will be leaving the room very soon. GREAT to see you, as usual..😃💕🌈🌞🫠
Hi Chelsea, walking away was the education i had too and i have done that for years. In my case it never worked. When i did that the toxic person would just keep pushing harder to impose on me what he or she wanted me to do. I learned years ago by reading a book that responding by a passive agressive method like just walking away or ignoring the person can't work. With toxic people speaking up and saying no and not explaining ourself is the way to get rid of them for good that makes them hit a wall sort to speak. Now that is what i do. I have done it at work with a narc and now i am free of him. Not easy to do for empaths like us but it's worth the try. I just thought i would share this with you. Have a lovely sunday my friend. 😊💞🙌🙏
@@jannlewandowski5540 oh I’m sorry Jann. Those sinus issues can be so WEARING. Please 🙏 take care of yourself. I’ll pray for you. Heading to work. Allergy meds taken ✔️
Big hugs 🤗 ❤️🩹
@@mariefrancebourget1749 oh you’re absolutely right Marie! I should’ve clarified. When I said that I walked away, that meant: I quit working for a toxic employer (walked out) , left a toxic family long ago (walked out), left some toxic leaders in ministries (walked out) and of course personal relationships same.
That was my problem. I never held boundaries or even knew how to set them. Now I do. Thanks to this amazing community and Andrew and my mentor and GOD.
Much love. Your comment helped me even though I’m actively doing what you say. I need to remain with people focused on the same quality things. Have a great day 💖🤗
@@gratefultobehereOK, see ya later, my friend.😃🌞👍🌈
I paid the mortgage and financially supported my kids while he was saving his business. Well, true to form, he wasn’t at work, go figure and he’s far from broke. Makes it easy to divide the assets. All these years, he told me he had nothing. This should be easy to settle, but of course, he’s not complying. Gotta save face and the cash accrued jointly through the marriage. Thank you, Andrew. Your videos in the natural world are inspiring!
My standing up for myself was When I Left the Narcissist!!! And Moved Far Away!!! That was setting my Boundaries and standing up for myself!🥰🙏🙏🙏it’s so wonderful to be free and living a good life again with loved ones 🙌💕❤️🥰
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It can be dangerous to stand up to an abuser. Have a plan to excape safely..
Yes. Be prepared and do not alert them of your decision, just behave differently according to your boundaries. They will not like it and will challenge them. Stay strong.
@@lourdesecheverria6209 Yes !! Excaping an abuser can be difficult. They hate you but will not let you go. They need a punching bag around and they have chosen their target. You :(
@@bonniedunbar6717 I agree. Never underestimate how dangerous these situations can be. Great suggestion bonnie..
@@bonniedunbar6717 Yes !!! Excellent suggestions. These people think they OWN you and will feel entitled to harm you if you try to leave.
When I began putting up my bounderies, whoa was he madder than you know what! Bounderies are a lifesaver regarding these until you can finally get out and stay out! No contact is best weapon! You are so right Andrew!
Got my Hoover attempt dripping with honey in a birthday card yesterday.
Went NO contact before Easter & this is a PATTERN of disrespect of my choices. Not falling for the trap.....BYE NARC!!!
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It’s like power/ego struggle. These people don’t stop. They just don’t get it
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No, you don’t understand…WE don’t get it. Radical acceptance. They don’t quit because we are allowing them to continue….your silence is golden
I agree with another commenter; all I got was punished. Passive-aggressiveness, rage, stonewalled, et al. Every time he cowled me with those forms of intimidation, and it was far too late that I realized I long crossed into doormat territory from people pleasing. He knew I loved him, truly, and took advantage of it at every turn. He is now trying to hurt me through our daughter since I refused to take him back when I finally woke up after the final discard, and it's so painful and I worry for her every day, as she is currently trauma bonded to her father like I once was.
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I totally get where you are coming from? I was on the receiving end of something similar. A light bulb moment...I have been wondering why my daughter can't see her father's behaviours for what they truly are? She's angry with me and not him. She's "trauma bonded", you said it! It all makes sense, seeing it written in your comment. May God protect both our daughters and heal them from the pain. Thank you for sharing. It really hurts to be discarded but God will strengthen us. They never knew how to love us and they will eventually reap what they've sown. We deserve so much better and to live in peace. We can build on that one day at a time. God bless have a lovely day.
@@angelacahill9083 The thing I try to keep in mind with my daughter is, while she is hot and cold with me right now, she knows deep down that I have proven time and time again that I love and will always be there for her, while her father has proven the opposite. It really sucks, and he is creating conflict in her, which leads to her outbursts because she loves both of us. I have to tell myself daily to just love her, and not feed into my narc ex's attempts to break me again through her. She will wake up one day... My heart just hurts for her.
Yes I told second former spouse , " I've got your number!" He didn't change he just upped the pressure and abuse. I was feeling I was in a tailspin! I watched for more signs of him leaving. We had to make one more trip out of state, then I saw him buying clothing. I took my leave as soon as we got back home. The next verbal outburst, I left and went to my planned safe home!
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Exactly, when I finally stood up for myself with my Aunts badgering me I was labeled having anger issues and told that I’m just like my father. Interesting because I didn’t grow up with my father but I did grow up with them and my mother. I was the escape goat in the family so I’ve been conditioned my whole life that I deserve to be treated like I’m a slave or worse yet a half breed. I’m part Native American so oh well, ug pardon me if I slink off to my teepee ⛺️ and stay away from the British Royalty 🤨🤪
Classic DARVO tactic with these Narcs when confronted. They still have only so many moves. All robotic and un-creative.
So very sorry you were treated that way. I understand because I was always told (in a disgusting way) that I looked like my mother's sister(whom she hated, but I realize now that she was really pretty) and I acted like my father, whom I never met, but was told, he was very abusive to my mother. It has taken me a lifetime (I am now 80) to realize my mom was a narc, but I have completely forgiven her in my heart, and actually pity her for the life she led as a result of her narcissism. They are more to be pitied than hated, but pity them at a distance. The only way to deal with a narc is to not deal with a narc.
@@marym8028 Thank you for being supportive. I don’t hate or dislike either of my parents, I didn’t really know my father but I tried. He did have a mean side but he was also a lifer in the military. I should have enlisted but instead I married a guy in the Air Force instead. Most of the men in the family have military backgrounds. My brother was navy, I have a cousin who was Marines and his brother graduated from Annapolis and was an Admiral. It’s ok I still have the heart of warrior 👍💪💪
You are right Andrew. Standing up for ourself is the pivital point for ending a narcissistic relationship. It is THE KEY. Because narcs can't stand boundries and the word NO. They will try to fight it with all they have by devaluating us with a violent argument but we have to stick to our guns and show them that they can't intimidate us anymore. I experienced it with a coworker, a guy at work and i succeeded at keeping him away from me. And also narcs seek revenge after we stood up to them all the time with the smear campain. But it does not matter because it only shows how little these narcs are and that by not paying attention to their violence we are stronger than they are. And we are above all the low blows they throw at us. Great video Andrew as always. Have a fun and beautiful sunday coach. ❤❤❤😊
Good morning my friend Marie France...the way I ended it was a little dangerous, but I believe he was more frightened than I was. It's been great without him. I wish you a wonderful day..🌞💕🙂
@@jannlewandowski5540Hi Jann, i am sure that he feared you because narcs are cowards. I am glad you are all right Jann and now free of him. Enjoy you day my friend. ❤🤗
@@mariefrancebourget1749Enjoy your Sunday Marie France. 🫠⚘️
Thank you 💯🙏😌
Their smear campaign says a lot more about THEM than it does ourselves. Anyone they succeeded in alienating from me is actually a ginormous favor. (Thanks for pointing out hostile people I never knew I had my life before, NARC... If that's all it took for someone to join Team Hate, I consider that as a HUGE BLESSING IN DISGUISE in my life. Subsequently my life improved as a result ironically. Addition by subtraction can work for me too!!)
I told a co-worker that I did not care who she thinks she is but she should take her pathetic problems out on someone else as I will not tolerate her actions any longer.
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Yea the breaking point came when he threatened to take the 2boys, back to his Country,.i put up with the insults for years, gambling all his wages,i supported me and the kids for years,,,i felt un loved, so much,,the kids remained with me,,,thank God none of them are like him,,even after the divorce we couldnt shake him off for years,,,We All deserve peace in our life,,,and cash in our pocket,💯💖💖💖✨✨
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This is exactly what happened. He ended up stealing my passport because he knew I was done
💡 moment: They give you things, so you'll give them things; then they ask for their things back, but never give your things back.
❤ 🙏 to Andrew & everyone
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Thanks, Andrew! So, I've been dealing with narcissistic and/or toxic relationships most of my life...Recently, I met someone and I've been taking it extremely slow...We were on the phone today, and I shared how s****** my day was. He came back with, your day has nothing on mine...So, I spoke up and said, "why is there a need to compare who has had a worse day?" Then I said something else, and he said "a joke" towards what I said...I told him to stop dropping these backhanded insults towards me and he hung up the phone on me! My boundaries are getting stronger! 😁
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
You go girl!!! Do not answer when he calls, actually block him!
@@winnebagolakefly Thanks...I blocked him! 😁
Thank you put a current narcissist friend in their place. He said,"Why are you acting like this? Why are you talking to me like that?". Told him, after 6 years of knowing you I've always stated my boundaries,you just haven't been listening,nor do you care about my boundaries. I'm done with you being a dick to me and talking down to me.". God that felt good. I've said that before it's just that when your done your point is clearly made. Many blessings all
I find that these individuals have to be in charge no matter what , they appear as if they have all the rights and you have none ! Poor behaviour follows them everywhere !
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TY ANDREW, Everything you say....makes complete sense. They really make you feel like it's us...because they are NEVER wrong...God Bless LOVE AND PRAYERS...
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
Today was the day! I stood up for myself. Nine years in. I don't need validation. It's my truth, an that's all that matters. Self love 💞
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Narcissist is a word I never knew ! Wisdom and knowledge of this term was learned here on your channel.👍 Thank u for the daily videos which keep me grounded and moving forward 😉
@cindymcdon, I never knew what a narcissist was either, but looks like we all found out. 👍🙂💕
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
Me too 😊👋
Ive just stood up to a friend of over 40yrs and she has said its sad it ended this way, so she would rather end our so called friendship than try to see what she says to me is hurtful.. My answer to that is nothing!!
@missladybug I can relate to you. I ended 2 toxic friendships in the past 8 years or so. Don't even miss them. 🙂👍Have a great day..❤
I identify completely. I just recently reviewed the relationship of a so "called" friend of many years and realized that without my giving and keeping the friendship ongoing it would had ended many years ago. I feel a burden has been lifted and feel freer to be myself. Toxic relationships come in many forms. Blessings to you! ♥
Totally relate. Its hard, it hurts...but its time to take care of ourselves & apply the skills. Great job 👍
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@lourdesecheverria6209
Me too! These lessons can be gut wrenching but so necessary.
God Bless 🎀😘
@@lourdesecheverria6209WE used to call them FLY BY NIGHT FRIENDS. (Not really a friend).
At the end I felt dried emotionally and rock bottom. I told her that she is trying to steal my soul and started to listening my inner voice which was telling me all the time that there is something really wrong with this person - my ex wife. I ignored that and many of red flags too and paid for that big price - health,money,time,depressions,anxiety years of suffering. It was just another episode of encoutering narcisissm because everything started in my childhood and I did not cut off my narcissistic parents off of my life and result was that I pull in another narcissit to my life which was my ex. After I realized all of that and found out that even my mother and father were narcissists and my sister golden child who became a narcissist too. All of them were abusing me emotionally. I cut off all of them.
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank you for your videos. They help too much ❤️
Fact is when you decide to put your foot down, all hell is going to break out.
Before putting foot down, separate bank accounts.
They will empty account, bounce checks from one bank to another, and fees for insuffient funds, plus what ever checks written for, shared account, you will be holding the the bag.
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Omg when Andrew did that whole dialog between the narcissist and the awesome humans they latch onto….that was exactly how the conversation would go with the energy vampire and I and his tardiness. They are indeed all the same. I don’t miss those days at all!! Freedom is a wonderful way to live❤❤❤
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Living NARC FREE is the living your best life !!
Great video ~ always on target 🎯🙏🏽😊
I refused to be his gopher recently and he went off. I stayed the course and ignored him.
Divine timing standing up for mistreatment in the workplace and I'm the one "punished." I've been aware and detached for a while now. Really proud of myself though and got out with my head held high. Videos like this are inspiring. Forward march
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I am in NC too. Been single for years since narc abuse
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you are so right ......
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Our lives have been much more meaningful than theirs has, even if it hurts more.
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