I’ve had my ponytail cut off in elementary school by a jealous girl. She said she was tired of them falling on her desk So she grabbed one and cut it off before I could do anything. Once I felt what happened, I beat the breaks off her and proudly took my suspension. But many people were jealous of my hair growing up. My mother simply took care of it! She washed it weekly. Combed it daily and I think I definitely have a type 4 hair. I wasn’t traumatized by it. She actually did me a favor. My mom cut it all even (she cut about 6 inches off but my hair was down to my tailbone at that point so it wasn’t that big of a deal) and it made things go faster on wash day and getting it done daily. She was expelled from school. We met up in high school and she apologized but I was never allowing her in my space again. Hair envy exists and always has.
TBH, I am tired of this conversation. I have been natural for so long that these self depracating videos just come off as childish to me. I just want Black women to admit they wear wigs/do not like their natural hair because they are too busy trying to date men who do not like their 4C hair and then leave the rest of us alone. I want them to get their relaxers and move on. Please. We've had enough of the woe is me stories.
Lmao tired of the trauma also behind it ? True true we've been lied and lied about our hair and still are! My hair grew way longer now that I don't play with it roughly (stimming) and also get help from my partner. I think it's just self discovery seeing what works with your hair or not. Winter is box braids (fight me it's cold in Europe 🇧🇪) and spring and summer is twists or wash outs.
@@nessaearthangel You know.... Black people..... Heavily dismiss generational trauma although we're the community most imbedded by it. Generational trauma from Africa all around the black diaspora.
T.H.A.N.K.Y.O.U My mother caught me upset that I couldn’t do well at a track event and was I crying my eyes out in a public bathroom stall. My mother came in and told me, you can address it, or move on to something else. You may not stay in my house crying about it. I was 14. Worked out all summer and dominated next year. We don’t do pity parties. We don’t wallow. Healing can in fact come from movement instead of remaining stagnant.
When people see hydrated, moisturized, clumped, healthy, long 4c hair, and when they see a curl/coil pattern they swear its not “4c” they are like “my 4c isnt like this so its not 4c” like wtf? Its like they dont want 4c to be great? When people see short,dry, damaged, “4c” they are like finally real 4c ? People really think 4c is a brillo pad, they think 4c is the worst hair texture ever, the 4c hate is too much, i mainly feel like its just self hatred and they like to complain about their hair 24/7.
4c hair cannot and should not do what looser hair patterns do. We try to do things that our hair simply doesn’t like or agree with. When I adjusted my hair regimen to do things that keep my hair moisturized, the dryness etc stopped. Because most 4c hair girlies are trying to do too much, 4c hair looking very dry has become the norm. It’s unfortunate.
You might also be getting those comments because a lot of "4c" hair seems to be naturally frizzy 4a and even 3c hair. Somewhere along the way, women decided that if your naked hair has no definition, then it's 4c, which is inaccurate. So, yes, some people will say that the hair isn't 4c because it isn't, based on the size of the curls/coils. This could also explain the comment above, about 4cs "doing too much." You have 4cs that think their hair can have bigger curls because people keep mislabeling the hair types.
All I know is that my hair drives me nuts. I love the thick, healthy hair of others. My hair is fine, with low porosity, and has mixed curl patterns. People say i have nice hair as far as texture, but I can not get it to grow past braw-strap length or do much with it. Some people just hate their hair, not self-hatred.
"you might actually be lazy" 😭 it's this. I dont have a long routine at all but people really want to do 0 for their natural hair while having effort for straight hair or extensions
4c doesn’t have a curl pattern it’s more coils and zig zaggy. It’s really pretty and unique. That’s why hair products either say wavy,curly, or coily. (Aussie for example).
@@eenchantress5113 Coily and zig zaggy is a type of curl pattern. This hair typing system is rather confusing as this is how a 4B curl pattern is similarly described.
Any type of hair that is neglected becomes a curse to its wearer. As for me I absolutely love my 4C hair. I'm so glad I transitioned. I wear my hair out daily, often with adornment. I was never this happy with relaxed, straightened, or added hair. My hair started flourishing when I stopped using combs, heat, dye, added hair, and chemicals and focused on moisturizing, limiting products and finger detangling.
I find it funny how the 4c hair that was becoming popular is now the bad hair? There were women who had rather loose spiral curly hair who were claiming to have 4c hair? Doja Cat is Afro-American and Caucasian she has the so called 4c hair.
I find it is mostly Afro- American women who seem to complain about having 4c hair .British Afro-Caribbean and British African women with Afro-coily seem to love and wear their hair confidently in the UK. I think this texturism and colourism problem is proving to be a major Afro-American woman problem, the effect on Afro-Caribbean and African women is a lesser affect, especially those in the Caribbean, Africa and the UK.
When bw with 4c hair accept that their hair needs a unique set of requirements to grow (and they are funny enough the most affordable and simplest) and thrive, the long hair will come and they will stop calling the hair God gave them a curse. ‘We’ are trying to do all the things the type 3 hair girls with the waves and springy curls do, and hoping for a positive outcome. ‘We’ have a hard time accepting the uniqueness of our hair which includes how it likes to be taken care of. We want to shampoo our hair like the shampoo ads on tv, we want to rock wash and go’s like a 3c hair girl, we want our hair to grow down when what it does is typically grow up *first*. We run from humectants which 4c hair NEEDS. We call low manipulation styles ‘childish’ when our hair needs to be left alone - aka not manipulated. We fight our hair instead of working with it, from the wash stage to the styling. And then get mad at the girls with long thick 4c hair instead of taking notes of what they’re doing, which is not fighting against their natural texture.
I would say the biggest thing I observed with women with long natural hair is that they do low manipulation hairstyles and women often say the hairstyles aren’t sleek enough or they don’t like the hairstyle because it’s not tight enough a lot of us are doing too much manipulation and tight hairstyles and they take good care of their hair often want long and or healthy hair but don’t want to put in the work
I actually slightly disagree. I have been natural my whole life and I shampoo, condition and leave in and go. I wash my hair every 4 days sometimes with shampoo sometimes with conditioner depending on what my hair feels like. It's always long. I leave it in a bun until I wash it again and occasionally wear it in a fro or wash and go, never grease my scalp and my hair is what people call 4c. Hair typing and viewing our hair as hard or unique is part of the problem. Our hair is no more or less unique than any other race. I agree with you that keeping it simple is key though❤
A couple of weeks ago, my sister in law complimented my hair. I have long healthy natural hair. She kept talking about how long and curly it was. I have tighter curls and my hair type is 4a but it appears looser now that it’s longer. My sister in law who has 4c hair said that her hair was very dry and it’s difficult to deal with. I told her no it’s not difficult to deal with, you just need to moisturize and take care of your hair. She asked me how I took care of my hair and I told her my hair routine and products. I wash and condition once a week, detangle, and braid it into 4 braids. I take it down after 5 days and wear it down for two days before rebraiding it on wash day. I also let her know that products don’t make your hair grow. It’s having a consistent routine that helps you grow healthy hair. I also showed her natural hair RUclipsrs I follow on RUclips which helped me learn how to take care of my hair. She told me it’s “ too much work “. My sister in law spends HOURS installing her weave, blow drying and straightening her hair, and braiding her hair with extensions like box braids but taking care of her natural hair is “too much work.” I don’t understand why so many black women think this way. I’m also tired of the self deprecating videos on Tiktok.
It takes too much time, when to wash and moisturize/prep your curls takes an hour and a half at most once a week. I hate hearing that, 'cause like you said, a lot of the people saying it spend hours each day on texture that's not theirs. Just say you don't like your texture - or at least lie well!
Cocoa in Kyoto Nappy Fu African Export Igbo Curls Chinwe Juliet Eugenia Kelsey I am so over bw convincing themselves that 4c hair doesn’t grow just because theirs doesn’t.
@@NiqueTD Agreed. Most women will swear by this chart that has so much flaws. The amount of coily, curly and wavy hair types is off the chart. The hair chart does not include all these hair types. There's women claiming to have the so called 4c hair, the hair texture and the hair curl pattern seem to differ. It shows how unique each man or woman's hair is. Your hair really has your DNA.
What’s so ironic is that the 4C category was NOT part of Walker’s original classification. His typing system stopped at 4B. I believe that the 4C category is a direct byproduct of the Natural Hair Movement. Like I said, ironic.
@@divinemsm716 Yes. Interesting point. Also 3c was not on the Andre Walker chart. So that is rather strange also... Shows this chart is based on his own opinions and personal experiences with his own clienteles, rather than factual evidence, and individual hair type and hair texture.
It's because they're watching someone with a looser curl pattern style their hair. This is what happens when you watch someone who doesn't have the same hair type as you. Several years ago another vlogger said that "we watch someone with hair we wish we had rather than watch someone with the hair that we actually have".
@@ladonna1902I don’t even understand why people do that. Watching someone with type 3 hair is kinda pointless to me unless I had a child with that curl pattern or wanted to help out someone learn about their hair.
My baby girl has thick 4C hair and I am absolutely in love with it. I make sure to tell her how beautiful and amazing her hair is. My only wish is for people to educate themselves on 4C hair. I keep my kid’s hair pint up and under a bonnet when she is home due to her rolling around.
This is the only way. She is going to be so confident as she grows. She will bloom like the most beautiful flower. I love your testimony. My daughter does not have 4 c hair but she has always been natural. She is the most confident, comfortable in her skin girl that I know. She makes my heart sing. You are doing a wonderful job. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Yes, and again, it is a lot of work when others don't need any specific technique. Love my natural 4c hair, but regarding time saving, not the best hair in the world, sorry
Hard to Swallow Pill: people use the “Isms” to play the victim and refuse to heal and “pedestalize themselves” The hair typing system gave people a reason to put themselves on the bottom and to never learn to style or love their hair. We have so much to unpack regarding anti-blackness in black hair.
@@scrubbingoffinternet5221 but many black men praise and love natural hair. I feel like we have to also detach from this idea that black men resent natural hair. Black men aren’t the ones requesting lace fronts in most cases. I think black folks should amplify black media and black men who rep for black women rocking their natural hair.
Black guys constantly made fun of my hair calling it a Jerry curl when my hair naturally grows out 3a/b, I’m about 2-3 shades darker than Tyla and have 1 black parent and 1 non black poc parent. A lot of self hate in the community.😢
I've had about 3 different shampoos mess up my hair and I was always upset with the shampoo. I never blamed my hair because it wasn't my hair's fault that the shampoo sucked.
Many people with Afro-coily and Afro-curly hair can have multi-textured hair anyway. Furthermore, even if your hair shrinks which is a typical pattern of coily hair (even though loose 3c hair can also get shrinkage) the hair pattern may not be a so called 4c , the pattern might be a 4b, 4a or even a tighter 3c hair curl puttern mixed with 4a. The hair chart is not a blue print it is a generic guide. Most women's hair won't fit entirely into this chart. Women are forgetting that Andre Walker gave this hair typing labels to his private clients based on their individual hair type. It wasn't originally for the public. Andre Walker does not know your hair personally. So don't take his hair typing system too personal.
I agree, I have multi-textured (Afro-coils) hair. I refused to follow the hair typing system, instead I decided to make sure I had a hair routine. It has really helped.
My dear Aishling. You are the natural hair coach I wish I’d had as a young woman. For years I wanted to embrace my natural hair but I didn’t know how to care for it or how to pedestalize my own beauty. I’m grateful after so many years I can now celebrate my natural beauty. Keep doing what you do to help the girlies become best friends with their natural hair. 🤗❤️
Thank you so much for saying everything that I’ve been thinking. I’m sick of the 4C hair is difficult campaign. The women who say this just need to admit that they simply don’t like their texture and either heal from it or just chemically change it cause the self hatred is tiring
Sometimes sulfate-free shampoos can be harsher than ones with sulfates! I like the design essentials moisturising shampoos, and the l'oreal colour safe line. I think technically these are sulfate-free but they are quite gentle to my hair and I've been using them for years now. I feel you on making decisions that we have to not take out on our hair. I recently did finger coils and I LOVED them but I have learned that taking down the style wet is a bad BAD idea. The pics in this vid are simply gorgous🤩🤩🤩
I’m glad I grew up around educated black folks because I never even had the chance to hate myself or my features. I just never felt less than for my hair type. But I know it can be harder for women but my point is we need black children being educated my black people who are educated about the skin they’re in.
4C hair is the best type in my book!! I don't know what mines is but I love it. I accept it for what it is,it took me a while to,but yup,4C is the best!
I embarked on a challenge this year where I don’t use combs/exclusively finger detangle my hair. You are right that we’re all on a journey. My first three months doing this I was frustrated. But this past wash day everything went so slowly and I barely lost any hair. It was the moment I was waiting for!
7:41 same thing with the nails! I had my nails done for a year and then I stopped. All the maintenance I used to do for those false nails, I do for my own nails now and duh, they thrive!
I think the disconnect between sides is that neither are acknowledging that the behaviors we engage in are likely driven by trauma. Hair trauma is a very, VERY real thing, particularly for black women (which a vast majority, GENERATIONS even experience). And in that, it's not always so easy to just "decide" to stop wearing the wigs or using relaxers, ESPECIALLY when the factors that originally traumatized our perceptions of self (all the isms) are still very much present in our lives. While I agree with your sentiment, I think the more productive conversation is tackling the root of it all, which is that awareness/acknowledgment of that trauma and resources to begin the journey of unlearning hate for our natural hair. Until one can understand this, anything we say will continue to feel like shame and insult to an already existing injury (now from one's OWN community). Everyone always agrees that hair is intimate and emotional, yet don't allow themselves the humanity for the negative things they were taught to feel. It can be a bit careless to instead shift the blame to the individual themselves.
No one can do the work for BW. Most are on the defensive. Quick to point out all the reasons why they won't even try to do anything with their hair. Trauma is real and constant but if you never step on the path to healing then you'll stay stuck.
I have shaved my head 3x …each time I grew a big fro ! Perm, hot comb etc can’t tame it !!! I where the BIG fro out for shock value ….still make head turn!!!
Needed discussion- I understand. I do not co-sign the lie that tightly coiled, tightly curly hair is 'unmanageable'. Admit that you do not have the knowledge or the skill set to properly take care of it. 🤷🏾♀️
I would love a series! You’re very on point with what you say! Also I love your channel, my hair is bra strap length if I straighten it but doesn’t even graze my shoulders in its natural shrunken state, and you’ve influenced me to just wear it like that and see the beauty in it, instead of hiding it with braids/wigs or spending hours on a twist/braid out, so thank you💖
I am currently 4 months post relaxer and this is my second time transitioning to natural hair. When the time comes to cut off the relaxed ends, I'm hoping I'll have a more positive mindset to my hair 🥰🙏
I was the same i had a perm 6 years ago it was so hard but i dealt with it. My natrual hair is thick and on my shoulders. Just keep going. Just wash condition deep condition and what i do is put it in box plats i wear wigs in the winter x
I have been dealing with a lot of these intrusive thoughts for most of my life. I used perms. It’s been one year without perm, and I am so grateful that I get to live in this space. It is a journey.
As someone who was relaxed from ages 5-22, has grown my hair to bra strap length and has had a pixie cut, who has big chopped and had a TWA, colored it, cut that off again, and now is coming up on 5 years natural trust I KNOW that hair depression is real. But once I learned that NONE of these hair types or styles are “easy”… that any desire to look a certain way (sexy, classy, casual, whatever) takes EFFORT, I was much better off. For me, just letting my hair be how it wants to be (in terms of length & texture… been thinking about color HEAVY lately 😅) and just learning to work with it eased all the stress I used to feel about it before
Good looking hair requires effort in general, so this makes all the sense. It's people going out of the way to make it seem like being natural is the ONLY effort requiring one that is so weird. Also re the colour -- I hope you have your deep conditioners on lock for that!
To be honest, does anyone else feel this way about the skin color topic? I’m definitely not saying that there isn’t real issues with colorism and being a dark skinned black woman but I find that after watching so many videos and content like that at a very early age the bitterness towards my dark skinned actually started because I was never told that I was too black or ugly for a dark skinned girl but I took on those experiences as my own and became bitter and everything became about light versus dark skinned for me…
The chart was never meant to be complex. It gained popularity on hair forums during the 2000s before high quality mobile cameras were more available and WAYYY before natural RUclips . It was an easy way to share info about your hair without showing it or getting a camera. Imo the issues hair typing has would exist without it. I do agree with you but being someone that was on black hair forums during the mid 2000s im always a little annoyed when people think it started with RUclips. It was never treated that seriously on hair forums. Tbh I'm sort of shocked because now everyone has high quality cameras on their mobiles you'd think people would be less dependent on hair typing. Its not treated like a very simple chart from straight to kinky. People pick their hair type based on emotions or gaming the algorithm and not does my hair fit this very simple metric
I just don’t get it. I went to an all yt school and I wore my natural 4c hair out proudly as a child. My hair was permed because my mom and aunts wanted it to be “easier “. Once I was old enough I cut that perm off and have been natural every since I just don’t get it. It’s yours, from your scalp. People don’t like it that’s their problem. I love my hair always have.
It's always sad the amount of animosity people have towards their highly textured hair and become very hostile when you point it out. I don't give natural hair advice anymore because a lot of times i get used as a proxy for other people's hair frustration then get immediately dismissed when they asked me for tips. Why ask? I've understood my hair for a long time now thanks to hair forums. So many have made up their minds that they will always suffer with their hair to the point they wont do simple things to make their lives easier. They want a secret product to solve all their issues and dont like when i say get to know your hair.
Just had the same issue with a shampoo I used before and a protein Condish I have used before. I poured away the shampoo. I will test again the Condish, then decide if I keep it or let it go as well. It is a process. As I wrote process you said process. You are on the right track.
Maybe not hair typing, I feel like descriptors like curly, coily, kinky, density, coarseness/fineness, porosity, have all been helpful in learning what products address what hair concerns. Unfortunately, some people still live in black communities where textured hair is considered ugly.
Im not fence to lie to yall...i got 4c, the type that water just rolls off of, kinda like a ducks feathers...ive went natural multiple tomes in my life, it grows, i just pretty much kept it in braids and quickweaves, I AM LAZY AF, so once i got to bra strap length, i would neglect it because i didnt want to detangle it for an hour and a half...even with detangling conditioner it was ridiculous. I tried so many products to make it more manageable. IT IS WHAT IT IS. I guess im just tired of EVERYTHING having to such a dam struggle AARRGGHH! I chopped it off again, so im getting back on the horse. Wish me luck ladies.😂
@@jayymack1993 yup i had locs for 4 yrs, but i cut them off because my edges were thinning real bad. I didnt wanna walk around looking like Stevie Wonder. They were gorgeous until they werent😆 Moral of the story is...do what is best for you.
If water just rolls off your hair, you probably have low porosity hair as well. It takes a little longer to soak up the water. You only need LC or LO method, respectively liquid cream and liquid oil. If u are low porosity definitely let your hair take water for longer and use warmer water to help raise the cuticle so moisture can get in. Afro texture hair can take in water easily too either being normal porosity or high porosity which causes for a different method of moisture retention.
Shrinkage is all good - if you can do it without all the tangled and knots. Give me the tips ladies I want the fro in all its glory but not 2 hrs detangling. The images here are stunning btw! 🥰
Thank you! 💕 With some textures, that is kind of inevitable (I know it is with mine). That's why I always stretch my hair in twists, but I tend to retain more moisture when I do them freshly washed and damp instead of completely dry. I think my issue with a lot of people talking about shrinkage (not you, of course) is they treat it like a handicap -- if you know your hair well it can help keep your hair both healthy and cute!
I wish they stop using the so called "Hair Typing System because it has nothing to do with how to take care of your hair. Its just another way to divide and give people an excuse not to love their hair. Im ao tired of them downung their own hair like Shut Up.
Brushes of any kind are for straighter textures. Our ancestors invented the Afro Pik for Type 4 hair for a reason. That is the only combing tool for us.
Hi coilette, do you use gels or mousse in your hair? A lot of the pics you’ve shown are women with hair similar to mine, but it looks like it’s in its stretched state, which is super cute. I went to a curl specialist, and maybe didn’t explain what i wanted properly, but she slabbed gel/mousse over my head and I don’t think it’s what my hair wants. Sure, I can see my pattern, but I’m loving the imagery you’re showing here. Thank you. ❤
Hey :) I usually only use hair grease in my hair, gels/mousse make my hair too crunchy personally lol. I actually haven't used any heat since my big chop (Oct 2022) so I can't really give any thoughts other than use heat protectant 😄
I’ve had ppl say my hair wasn’t mine or it had to be texturized or 🙄what are you mixed with some ppl are are ignorant and think looser hair textures have it easier or something
Honestly I just think it’s AA who make natural hair a spectacle/problem. I’m Haitian and in the carribean natural hair is not a big deal because most women/girls wear their natural hair. It’s the norm so there’s no stupid conversations of is it real is it not. Are you mixed are you not. And girls don’t get bullied for perms/weaves because all the girls wear their hair. So there’s nobody feeling like they have to look like the next girl.
I love my shrinkage but if I wear it like that it will break off bad and knot up especially since it’s getting longer. so I just stick to my big beautiful blowouts. I use the same hair care routine in both states. So some of us stretch it because our hair likes it and thrives I came from being a buzz cut baddie for 7 years so short hair doesn’t bother me. This is my second round growing out my gorgeous hair ❤. Type 4 hair is so much fun. Find what your hair love ladies and stick to it. Remember we may have similar hair types but our hair is diversely different.
This is true for me. I was natural from 2013 to 2021. I did a pixie cut because i did not like my hair. Later i went back natural from 2022 to now. And i am learning to love my hair and care for it daily etc. In general i had a lot of Insecurities and i had to work on them, and learn to accept myself for who i am and by putting in the work, i am also learning to love my hair and African features. Its a journey and im glad i am on the right track. I love these videos so much, they convict me.
I agree with a lot of what's said but the comment section usually throws me off. Do people not realize how condescending and righteous they come across? The message is destroyed when you don't seem to understand why everyone hasn't become enlightened yet and feel the need to berate and belittle THEIR struggle. It is very true that no matter who hurt you it's up to YOU to find someway to get around it; that's the case with most traumatizing experiences. People heal in their own time or maybe they don't heal at all, and a large majority of commenters here lack basic human empathy. It feels like a lot of people with "type 4C" hair wish others with it who haven't become enlightened would just shut up and stop sharing their thoughts because they only want everyone to hear positive opinions on something THEY have. I completely get how if you have something too, you don't really want to hear it be run into the ground, but everyone doesn't learn acceptance at the same pace. If you read comments in general on similar topics you will see many people with long 4C hair basically accusing those with short 4C hair of being lazy; If they weren't lazy they would have long hair too. That is so insulting and superior when you have no idea why someone else's hair isn't retaining length. More often than not you see the short hair referred to as dry and damaged and the long as cared for and thriving... automatically assuming short hair isn't cared for and healthy. That mindset is just as harmful as what all the whiners are doing, but fewer people will see that.
Hun what do you use for your egdes im struggling for it to grow back. I do wear wigs in the winter..i wear it in tbe day and i take ii off..so is it the wigs?
Hi Pinky! It may not be the wigs if you’re not gluing, but the friction from them probably isn’t helping either. I don’t use anything on my edges I’m just more gentle with them, but there is a great creator on RUclips called @tamithecreator who showed her two year edge growth journey with her routine and products. She might have something that works for you. Hope this helps 💕
@@thisiscoilettei don't wear the glue wigs it just normal wigs..iv got some hair but its not thick. It might be my age im 56 so i don't know. I will look at that you tube thank you xxx
I’m one of those who feel CURSED by 4C and NO I’m not lazy. I wash/ condition my hair once every 2 weeks and spend hours detangling, and another couple hours styling. I take good care to make sure my hair looks presentable at least, but it’s a curse having to put in all that work for my hair to not even be socially deemed as worthy of respect. I get compliments every day when I wear my loose curly wigs, lemme wear my 4C out and immediately it’s “your hair looks like that bc you don’t take care of it” and that’s AFTER I take GOOD care of it. But they don’t talk about loose curls like that. Edit: just putting out there that I’m seeing a lot of hate for girls like me who do hate their 4C, but the problem is maybe we need to be uplifted and spoken up instead of spoken down to lmfao, yea my hair is the worst texture and you think I hate myself bc of that opinion? Yeah let’s tell girlies like me we’re the worst and anti black 💀 that’ll change our opinion for sure. I WISH I could love my hair, my husband LOVES my natural hair, he’s seen me cry over doing my hair, it ain’t easy struggling like this. Try some compassion.
I haven’t watched far the video, just in the disclaimer moment. I just…can we stop shaming anyone who does what they need to do for survival knowing that it is not in their best interest for a positive self image in the long run? I have genuinely attempted for years to be an unbothered natural girlie but now currently wear a long yaki wig on a daily basis. I don’t exist in a vacuum and it feels horrible seeking community and getting the messaging that oh you still hate yourself oh you this that and the third I am just trying to exist in an alarmingly white area and will not have the means to move for years probably. Am I paranoid or did sis just roll her eyes at me and my wig walking down the street because I can’t afford to get braids at the moment and stepping outside of Eurocentric hair length/approved style standards is going to make people at work look at me sideways? I can’t help but feel defensive, life is genuinely too hard without adding extra layers or micro aggressions when people want to take you down several pegs because your hair isn't what THEY want it to look like. I just want to take in positive content about my hair and what it has the potential to do and how wonderful it already is without being shamed for having to exist in society. My mom had short, sometimes natural hair for almost all of my life but she was absolutely gorgeous and an accomplished professional. And even she never got her happily ever after moment. We can critique standards without shaming people for trying to adhere to them. The emotional and social toll of turning away from these standards in an actionable, practical way is never discussed in detail, it's all finger wagging you have to love yourself, why are you so self hating, you are not in tune enough with blackness, etc, etc. I love being black, I love my hair, I also just want to survive and live in peace, please and thank you.
I understand this, and I've spoken about the nuance of assimilation before because I also lived in a predominantly white area for quite a while as a child. If I remember correctly, I basically said 'do what you have to, but please don't hurt your hair underneath'. This video was not made for this case, but for (most of) the others - i.e., if you have ample time, opportunity and resource (financial, social or otherwise) but still choose to punch down on yourself, I won't pretend not to see it. And if this content is not for you, I understand. I'm only here to help, but as I mentioned in one of my other videos, if watching me negatively affects your mental health, please feel free to log off. I never want to hurt anyone, but my whole channel is dedicated to a sensitive subject, so this can happen from time to time.
my hair specifically thrives and grows faster until a wig. womp womp. this is kind of projecting one beauty standard on all black women, even thise who enjoy wigs because theres nothing wrong with preference.
She's not opposed to wigs in general, though. She's opposed to the way black women en masse wear wigs that are much looser than our natural hair texture. Basically, why do we keep wearing wigs that are either loose curls or straight instead of kinky curly or afro? Personally I think price is a factor. When I wanted to wear a natural looking wig, I saw they were $300 USD at least and nearly cried😭😭😭 I would have to convert that to my country's currency and struggle.
Shabbat Shalom And she prefers to appreciate the hair that she was created with! She is not insecure about her hair nor wanting it to be more straight like other nations. And she's right! She don't want to be fake, putting on fake hair!
@@TempleCleanerSisterNacresha but what does her preference have to do with me or how I love myself. Sometimes you can be too intelligent to understand other people who don’t like things you like.
I don't recall saying that, and I've never said that wigs were bad -- it's always the mindset behind them that determines that. Also, none of the TikToks mentioned had anything to do with wigs, so I'm not sure where this is coming from 🤷🏽♀️
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I’ve had my ponytail cut off in elementary school by a jealous girl. She said she was tired of them falling on her desk So she grabbed one and cut it off before I could do anything. Once I felt what happened, I beat the breaks off her and proudly took my suspension. But many people were jealous of my hair growing up. My mother simply took care of it! She washed it weekly. Combed it daily and I think I definitely have a type 4 hair. I wasn’t traumatized by it. She actually did me a favor. My mom cut it all even (she cut about 6 inches off but my hair was down to my tailbone at that point so it wasn’t that big of a deal) and it made things go faster on wash day and getting it done daily. She was expelled from school. We met up in high school and she apologized but I was never allowing her in my space again. Hair envy exists and always has.
Omg what a nasty jelouse woman
TBH, I am tired of this conversation. I have been natural for so long that these self depracating videos just come off as childish to me. I just want Black women to admit they wear wigs/do not like their natural hair because they are too busy trying to date men who do not like their 4C hair and then leave the rest of us alone. I want them to get their relaxers and move on. Please. We've had enough of the woe is me stories.
Lmao tired of the trauma also behind it ? True true we've been lied and lied about our hair and still are! My hair grew way longer now that I don't play with it roughly (stimming) and also get help from my partner. I think it's just self discovery seeing what works with your hair or not. Winter is box braids (fight me it's cold in Europe 🇧🇪) and spring and summer is twists or wash outs.
@@BebeDFairyVODs thank you for mentioning the trauma, very empathetic and mindful of you.
@@nessaearthangel You know.... Black people.....
Heavily dismiss generational trauma although we're the community most imbedded by it. Generational trauma from Africa all around the black diaspora.
And I oop 😮😂
T.H.A.N.K.Y.O.U
My mother caught me upset that I couldn’t do well at a track event and was I crying my eyes out in a public bathroom stall. My mother came in and told me, you can address it, or move on to something else. You may not stay in my house crying about it.
I was 14. Worked out all summer and dominated next year. We don’t do pity parties. We don’t wallow. Healing can in fact come from movement instead of remaining stagnant.
When people see hydrated, moisturized, clumped, healthy, long 4c hair, and when they see a curl/coil pattern they swear its not “4c” they are like “my 4c isnt like this so its not 4c” like wtf? Its like they dont want 4c to be great? When people see short,dry, damaged, “4c” they are like finally real 4c ? People really think 4c is a brillo pad, they think 4c is the worst hair texture ever, the 4c hate is too much, i mainly feel like its just self hatred and they like to complain about their hair 24/7.
This.
4c hair cannot and should not do what looser hair patterns do. We try to do things that our hair simply doesn’t like or agree with. When I adjusted my hair regimen to do things that keep my hair moisturized, the dryness etc stopped. Because most 4c hair girlies are trying to do too much, 4c hair looking very dry has become the norm. It’s unfortunate.
@@LisePlansandJournalsfucking thank you!!!
You might also be getting those comments because a lot of "4c" hair seems to be naturally frizzy 4a and even 3c hair. Somewhere along the way, women decided that if your naked hair has no definition, then it's 4c, which is inaccurate. So, yes, some people will say that the hair isn't 4c because it isn't, based on the size of the curls/coils. This could also explain the comment above, about 4cs "doing too much." You have 4cs that think their hair can have bigger curls because people keep mislabeling the hair types.
All I know is that my hair drives me nuts. I love the thick, healthy hair of others. My hair is fine, with low porosity, and has mixed curl patterns. People say i have nice hair as far as texture, but I can not get it to grow past braw-strap length or do much with it. Some people just hate their hair, not self-hatred.
"you might actually be lazy" 😭 it's this. I dont have a long routine at all but people really want to do 0 for their natural hair while having effort for straight hair or extensions
IKR! They say natural hair is too time consuming and unmanageable. But will spend hours bleaching, plucking, and installing a wig.
@@ladonna1902 facts
@@ladonna1902no that’s so real bc I thought wigs were less mainence only to find out my natural hair was😭
@@ladonna1902don’t forget buying wigs for thousands of dollars but God forbid natural hair products above $20 is too expensive
Its so annoying when people think that 4c hair doesnt have a curl pattern people think that 4c has no curls.
I find that so weird because wouldn't that just be type 1 hair lol?
@@LethalLemonLime right
@@LethalLemonLime Exactly. So isn't coily hair with no curl pattern basically straight hair???
4c doesn’t have a curl pattern it’s more coils and zig zaggy. It’s really pretty and unique. That’s why hair products either say wavy,curly, or coily. (Aussie for example).
@@eenchantress5113 Coily and zig zaggy is a type of curl pattern. This hair typing system is rather confusing as this is how a 4B curl pattern is similarly described.
People over exaggerate 4c hair, people even say 4c is a curse.
Any type of hair that is neglected becomes a curse to its wearer. As for me I absolutely love my 4C hair. I'm so glad I transitioned. I wear my hair out daily, often with adornment. I was never this happy with relaxed, straightened, or added hair. My hair started flourishing when I stopped using combs, heat, dye, added hair, and chemicals and focused on moisturizing, limiting products and finger detangling.
i hate people with no personality
@@Lynxyahthemage ??
I find it funny how the 4c hair that was becoming popular is now the bad hair? There were women who had rather loose spiral curly hair who were claiming to have 4c hair?
Doja Cat is Afro-American and Caucasian she has the so called 4c hair.
I find it is mostly Afro- American women who seem to complain about having 4c hair .British Afro-Caribbean and British African women with Afro-coily seem to love and wear their hair confidently in the UK.
I think this texturism and colourism problem is proving to be a major Afro-American woman problem, the effect on Afro-Caribbean and African women is a lesser affect, especially those in the Caribbean, Africa and the UK.
🏆“You have to pedestalize yourself” 🏆
That’s for ANY insecurity.
girl i'm seeing you everywhere since that video of that one chick who blamed mielle or something for "destroying" her natural hair
@@reirad5307
I love natural hair content 😅🤷🏽♀️
When bw with 4c hair accept that their hair needs a unique set of requirements to grow (and they are funny enough the most affordable and simplest) and thrive, the long hair will come and they will stop calling the hair God gave them a curse.
‘We’ are trying to do all the things the type 3 hair girls with the waves and springy curls do, and hoping for a positive outcome.
‘We’ have a hard time accepting the uniqueness of our hair which includes how it likes to be taken care of. We want to shampoo our hair like the shampoo ads on tv, we want to rock wash and go’s like a 3c hair girl, we want our hair to grow down when what it does is typically grow up *first*. We run from humectants which 4c hair NEEDS. We call low manipulation styles ‘childish’ when our hair needs to be left alone - aka not manipulated. We fight our hair instead of working with it, from the wash stage to the styling.
And then get mad at the girls with long thick 4c hair instead of taking notes of what they’re doing, which is not fighting against their natural texture.
Preach, sistah - I couldn't have put it better myself 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😍🤩!
When the Pupul is ready the MASTER will come.
Thank you Master
I would say the biggest thing I observed with women with long natural hair is that they do low manipulation hairstyles and women often say the hairstyles aren’t sleek enough or they don’t like the hairstyle because it’s not tight enough a lot of us are doing too much manipulation and tight hairstyles and they take good care of their hair often want long and or healthy hair but don’t want to put in the work
I actually slightly disagree. I have been natural my whole life and I shampoo, condition and leave in and go. I wash my hair every 4 days sometimes with shampoo sometimes with conditioner depending on what my hair feels like. It's always long. I leave it in a bun until I wash it again and occasionally wear it in a fro or wash and go, never grease my scalp and my hair is what people call 4c. Hair typing and viewing our hair as hard or unique is part of the problem. Our hair is no more or less unique than any other race. I agree with you that keeping it simple is key though❤
@@koyaharvey-walker3794agreed! You look gorgeous
A couple of weeks ago, my sister in law complimented my hair. I have long healthy natural hair. She kept talking about how long and curly it was. I have tighter curls and my hair type is 4a but it appears looser now that it’s longer. My sister in law who has 4c hair said that her hair was very dry and it’s difficult to deal with. I told her no it’s not difficult to deal with, you just need to moisturize and take care of your hair. She asked me how I took care of my hair and I told her my hair routine and products. I wash and condition once a week, detangle, and braid it into 4 braids. I take it down after 5 days and wear it down for two days before rebraiding it on wash day. I also let her know that products don’t make your hair grow. It’s having a consistent routine that helps you grow healthy hair. I also showed her natural hair RUclipsrs I follow on RUclips which helped me learn how to take care of my hair. She told me it’s “ too much work “. My sister in law spends HOURS installing her weave, blow drying and straightening her hair, and braiding her hair with extensions like box braids but taking care of her natural hair is “too much work.” I don’t understand why so many black women think this way. I’m also tired of the self deprecating videos on Tiktok.
For real. I enjoy straightening my hair on occasion, but it's so much more work compared to just washing and braiding it up for 3-5 days.
Because some ppl are neurodivergent and doing hair is actually too much. Before being high and mighty be more empathetic. Especially towards your own.
She just wasted your time asking, she just dont want to put in the work for it🙄Then they complain about why their hair “wont grow”.
@@BebeDFairyVODsas someone who’s neurodivergent with type 4 hair, I’m sorry but that’s bs
It takes too much time, when to wash and moisturize/prep your curls takes an hour and a half at most once a week. I hate hearing that, 'cause like you said, a lot of the people saying it spend hours each day on texture that's not theirs. Just say you don't like your texture - or at least lie well!
Cocoa in Kyoto
Nappy Fu
African Export
Igbo Curls Chinwe Juliet
Eugenia Kelsey
I am so over bw convincing themselves that 4c hair doesn’t grow just because theirs doesn’t.
Or to lazy to do anything about their own hair
These clowns are are too busy following the Jasmine Browns and Amber Hamptons.
It’s no point of name dropping because they will come back and say it’s genetics 😭🤷🏽♀️ I can’t I literally can not
This Andre Walker Hair Chart has caused so much division and confusion. Many people's hair types will not even fit exactly on the chart.
I want us to be rid of it so bad omg
@@NiqueTD Agreed. Most women will swear by this chart that has so much flaws. The amount of coily, curly and wavy hair types is off the chart. The hair chart does not include all these hair types. There's women claiming to have the so called 4c hair, the hair texture and the hair curl pattern seem to differ. It shows how unique each man or woman's hair is. Your hair really has your DNA.
What’s so ironic is that the 4C category was NOT part of Walker’s original classification. His typing system stopped at 4B. I believe that the 4C category is a direct byproduct of the Natural Hair Movement. Like I said, ironic.
@@divinemsm716 Yes. Interesting point. Also 3c was not on the Andre Walker chart. So that is rather strange also... Shows this chart is based on his own opinions and personal experiences with his own clienteles, rather than factual evidence, and individual hair type and hair texture.
@@mariepearl-harbour2335Absolutely!
The my 4c hair can never comments..
Or the "crying in 4c", "laughs in 4c" comments
That does get me so fed up.
It's because they're watching someone with a looser curl pattern style their hair. This is what happens when you watch someone who doesn't have the same hair type as you. Several years ago another vlogger said that "we watch someone with hair we wish we had rather than watch someone with the hair that we actually have".
@@ladonna1902 💯
@@ladonna1902I don’t even understand why people do that. Watching someone with type 3 hair is kinda pointless to me unless I had a child with that curl pattern or wanted to help out someone learn about their hair.
My baby girl has thick 4C hair and I am absolutely in love with it. I make sure to tell her how beautiful and amazing her hair is. My only wish is for people to educate themselves on 4C hair. I keep my kid’s hair pint up and under a bonnet when she is home due to her rolling around.
This is the only way. She is going to be so confident as she grows. She will bloom like the most beautiful flower. I love your testimony. My daughter does not have 4 c hair but she has always been natural. She is the most confident, comfortable in her skin girl that I know. She makes my heart sing. You are doing a wonderful job. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@rhondadenis3469 thank you and I love that for your baby girl! Seeing us rock our natural God-given beauty is so referring.
Right xx
@@_Renee2you shouldn't lie to your off spring tell the truth, I like the fur brillo pad on your head 😂
“Retaining length has nothing to do with your texture and everything to do with your technique”
🎤⬇️💥
And genetics!! I came here to say that, not all of us will have hair that grows past our shoulders, and that’s okay!
Yes, and again, it is a lot of work when others don't need any specific technique. Love my natural 4c hair, but regarding time saving, not the best hair in the world, sorry
@@taty87I disagree, it might take longer but your hair is growing as long as you breathe.
Exactly stop fighting your hair!!
One day we will discuss the‘it’s genetics’ used to dismiss any hair advice given.
Hard to Swallow Pill: people use the “Isms” to play the victim and refuse to heal and “pedestalize themselves”
The hair typing system gave people a reason to put themselves on the bottom and to never learn to style or love their hair.
We have so much to unpack regarding anti-blackness in black hair.
Agreed
So true!! Inferiority complex 😒😪🥱
It's hard to pedestalize ourselves with NO HELP from our men. No other race of women has to create self esteem out of thin air
@@scrubbingoffinternet5221 but many black men praise and love natural hair.
I feel like we have to also detach from this idea that black men resent natural hair. Black men aren’t the ones requesting lace fronts in most cases.
I think black folks should amplify black media and black men who rep for black women rocking their natural hair.
Black guys constantly made fun of my hair calling it a Jerry curl when my hair naturally grows out 3a/b, I’m about 2-3 shades darker than Tyla and have 1 black parent and 1 non black poc parent. A lot of self hate in the community.😢
I've had about 3 different shampoos mess up my hair and I was always upset with the shampoo. I never blamed my hair because it wasn't my hair's fault that the shampoo sucked.
Many people with Afro-coily and Afro-curly hair can have multi-textured hair anyway. Furthermore, even if your hair shrinks which is a typical pattern of coily hair (even though loose 3c hair can also get shrinkage) the hair pattern may not be a so called 4c , the pattern might be a 4b, 4a or even a tighter 3c hair curl puttern mixed with 4a. The hair chart is not a blue print it is a generic guide. Most women's hair won't fit entirely into this chart. Women are forgetting that Andre Walker gave this hair typing labels to his private clients based on their individual hair type. It wasn't originally for the public. Andre Walker does not know your hair personally. So don't take his hair typing system too personal.
I agree, I have multi-textured (Afro-coils) hair.
I refused to follow the hair typing system, instead I decided to make sure I had a hair routine. It has really helped.
@@cosmicjourney8629 Good choice. Know your actual hair.
I love 4c hair. I hate that some women don't embrace it. It's so cool.
Thats me hun im gonna try to love my hair its my edges i want it to grow back...
My dear Aishling. You are the natural hair coach I wish I’d had as a young woman. For years I wanted to embrace my natural hair but I didn’t know how to care for it or how to pedestalize my own beauty. I’m grateful after so many years I can now celebrate my natural beauty. Keep doing what you do to help the girlies become best friends with their natural hair. 🤗❤️
This really warmed my heart! Thank you for always supporting, and I'm so glad to have been a part of your journey 🥰💕
I really enjoy your content. The messaging, the use of language (quads, tri's, saddie), the pedastalization. I love it!
Thank you! I'm glad that it's appreciated 💕
Thank you so much for saying everything that I’ve been thinking. I’m sick of the 4C hair is difficult campaign. The women who say this just need to admit that they simply don’t like their texture and either heal from it or just chemically change it cause the self hatred is tiring
Shes been amazing
Me in *trying to chemically change it but not wanting it to fall out* lmfao
Sometimes sulfate-free shampoos can be harsher than ones with sulfates! I like the design essentials moisturising shampoos, and the l'oreal colour safe line. I think technically these are sulfate-free but they are quite gentle to my hair and I've been using them for years now.
I feel you on making decisions that we have to not take out on our hair. I recently did finger coils and I LOVED them but I have learned that taking down the style wet is a bad BAD idea.
The pics in this vid are simply gorgous🤩🤩🤩
I’m glad I grew up around educated black folks because I never even had the chance to hate myself or my features. I just never felt less than for my hair type. But I know it can be harder for women but my point is we need black children being educated my black people who are educated about the skin they’re in.
😮 Whoa, that was some tough love...but it is necessary. Call it like it is because no one else does
4C hair is the best type in my book!! I don't know what mines is but I love it. I accept it for what it is,it took me a while to,but yup,4C is the best!
I embarked on a challenge this year where I don’t use combs/exclusively finger detangle my hair. You are right that we’re all on a journey. My first three months doing this I was frustrated. But this past wash day everything went so slowly and I barely lost any hair. It was the moment I was waiting for!
7:41 same thing with the nails! I had my nails done for a year and then I stopped. All the maintenance I used to do for those false nails, I do for my own nails now and duh, they thrive!
I think the disconnect between sides is that neither are acknowledging that the behaviors we engage in are likely driven by trauma. Hair trauma is a very, VERY real thing, particularly for black women (which a vast majority, GENERATIONS even experience). And in that, it's not always so easy to just "decide" to stop wearing the wigs or using relaxers, ESPECIALLY when the factors that originally traumatized our perceptions of self (all the isms) are still very much present in our lives. While I agree with your sentiment, I think the more productive conversation is tackling the root of it all, which is that awareness/acknowledgment of that trauma and resources to begin the journey of unlearning hate for our natural hair. Until one can understand this, anything we say will continue to feel like shame and insult to an already existing injury (now from one's OWN community). Everyone always agrees that hair is intimate and emotional, yet don't allow themselves the humanity for the negative things they were taught to feel. It can be a bit careless to instead shift the blame to the individual themselves.
THIS!
No one can do the work for BW. Most are on the defensive. Quick to point out all the reasons why they won't even try to do anything with their hair. Trauma is real and constant but if you never step on the path to healing then you'll stay stuck.
I have shaved my head 3x …each time I grew a big fro !
Perm, hot comb etc can’t tame it !!!
I where the BIG fro out for shock value ….still make head turn!!!
Needed discussion- I understand. I do not co-sign the lie that tightly coiled, tightly curly hair is 'unmanageable'. Admit that you do not have the knowledge or the skill set to properly take care of it. 🤷🏾♀️
I would love a series! You’re very on point with what you say! Also I love your channel, my hair is bra strap length if I straighten it but doesn’t even graze my shoulders in its natural shrunken state, and you’ve influenced me to just wear it like that and see the beauty in it, instead of hiding it with braids/wigs or spending hours on a twist/braid out, so thank you💖
Your content is so needed, but people are getting triggered at the very true points 😂
You are so naturally funny. I agree with this whole video. you've articulated it perfectly
I am currently 4 months post relaxer and this is my second time transitioning to natural hair. When the time comes to cut off the relaxed ends, I'm hoping I'll have a more positive mindset to my hair 🥰🙏
I was the same i had a perm 6 years ago it was so hard but i dealt with it. My natrual hair is thick and on my shoulders. Just keep going. Just wash condition deep condition and what i do is put it in box plats i wear wigs in the winter x
I love my hair so much so now that I’m trying new hairstyles without the use of gel🥰
I have been dealing with a lot of these intrusive thoughts for most of my life. I used perms. It’s been one year without perm, and I am so grateful that I get to live in this space. It is a journey.
I absolutely LOVE your channel and the way you speak LIFE into your natural hair. Watching this as i moisturise my natural hair.
17:27 people love to push the stereotype that 4c is hard😡
3:46 literally people think 4c cant be long.
As someone who was relaxed from ages 5-22, has grown my hair to bra strap length and has had a pixie cut, who has big chopped and had a TWA, colored it, cut that off again, and now is coming up on 5 years natural trust I KNOW that hair depression is real. But once I learned that NONE of these hair types or styles are “easy”… that any desire to look a certain way (sexy, classy, casual, whatever) takes EFFORT, I was much better off. For me, just letting my hair be how it wants to be (in terms of length & texture… been thinking about color HEAVY lately 😅) and just learning to work with it eased all the stress I used to feel about it before
Good looking hair requires effort in general, so this makes all the sense. It's people going out of the way to make it seem like being natural is the ONLY effort requiring one that is so weird. Also re the colour -- I hope you have your deep conditioners on lock for that!
To be honest, does anyone else feel this way about the skin color topic? I’m definitely not saying that there isn’t real issues with colorism and being a dark skinned black woman but I find that after watching so many videos and content like that at a very early age the bitterness towards my dark skinned actually started because I was never told that I was too black or ugly for a dark skinned girl but I took on those experiences as my own and became bitter and everything became about light versus dark skinned for me…
The chart was never meant to be complex. It gained popularity on hair forums during the 2000s before high quality mobile cameras were more available and WAYYY before natural RUclips . It was an easy way to share info about your hair without showing it or getting a camera.
Imo the issues hair typing has would exist without it. I do agree with you but being someone that was on black hair forums during the mid 2000s im always a little annoyed when people think it started with RUclips. It was never treated that seriously on hair forums. Tbh I'm sort of shocked because now everyone has high quality cameras on their mobiles you'd think people would be less dependent on hair typing. Its not treated like a very simple chart from straight to kinky. People pick their hair type based on emotions or gaming the algorithm and not does my hair fit this very simple metric
Coily hair is pretty. We need to see it that way. These pictures are gorgeous. Just absolutely stunning.
13:00 that's me! 😭🥰 haha but great vid & I agree
Heyyy! Thanks for the beautiful hair representation 🥰
I just don’t get it. I went to an all yt school and I wore my natural 4c hair out proudly as a child. My hair was permed because my mom and aunts wanted it to be “easier “. Once I was old enough I cut that perm off and have been natural every since I just don’t get it. It’s yours, from your scalp. People don’t like it that’s their problem. I love my hair always have.
It's always sad the amount of animosity people have towards their highly textured hair and become very hostile when you point it out.
I don't give natural hair advice anymore because a lot of times i get used as a proxy for other people's hair frustration then get immediately dismissed when they asked me for tips. Why ask? I've understood my hair for a long time now thanks to hair forums.
So many have made up their minds that they will always suffer with their hair to the point they wont do simple things to make their lives easier.
They want a secret product to solve all their issues and dont like when i say get to know your hair.
This video was needed.
Just had the same issue with a shampoo I used before and a protein Condish I have used before. I poured away the shampoo. I will test again the Condish, then decide if I keep it or let it go as well. It is a process. As I wrote process you said process. You are on the right track.
Maybe not hair typing, I feel like descriptors like curly, coily, kinky, density, coarseness/fineness, porosity, have all been helpful in learning what products address what hair concerns. Unfortunately, some people still live in black communities where textured hair is considered ugly.
Im not fence to lie to yall...i got 4c, the type that water just rolls off of, kinda like a ducks feathers...ive went natural multiple tomes in my life, it grows, i just pretty much kept it in braids and quickweaves, I AM LAZY AF, so once i got to bra strap length, i would neglect it because i didnt want to detangle it for an hour and a half...even with detangling conditioner it was ridiculous. I tried so many products to make it more manageable. IT IS WHAT IT IS. I guess im just tired of EVERYTHING having to such a dam struggle AARRGGHH! I chopped it off again, so im getting back on the horse. Wish me luck ladies.😂
Have you considered locs? In my experience, sisters with textures like you're describing always have the prettiest and longest dreads! 😍
@@jayymack1993 yup i had locs for 4 yrs, but i cut them off because my edges were thinning real bad. I didnt wanna walk around looking like Stevie Wonder. They were gorgeous until they werent😆 Moral of the story is...do what is best for you.
If water just rolls off your hair, you probably have low porosity hair as well. It takes a little longer to soak up the water. You only need LC or LO method, respectively liquid cream and liquid oil. If u are low porosity definitely let your hair take water for longer and use warmer water to help raise the cuticle so moisture can get in.
Afro texture hair can take in water easily too either being normal porosity or high porosity which causes for a different method of moisture retention.
I need the series!
I’m come to realize that I am in face the ✨problem ✨
Oppression Olympics
Girlllll I love your chanel, your voice and the way you analyse things... I am subscribing
Shrinkage is all good - if you can do it without all the tangled and knots. Give me the tips ladies I want the fro in all its glory but not 2 hrs detangling.
The images here are stunning btw! 🥰
Thank you! 💕 With some textures, that is kind of inevitable (I know it is with mine). That's why I always stretch my hair in twists, but I tend to retain more moisture when I do them freshly washed and damp instead of completely dry. I think my issue with a lot of people talking about shrinkage (not you, of course) is they treat it like a handicap -- if you know your hair well it can help keep your hair both healthy and cute!
I wish they stop using the so called "Hair Typing System because it has nothing to do with how to take care of your hair. Its just another way to divide and give people an excuse not to love their hair. Im ao tired of them downung their own hair like Shut Up.
Brushes of any kind are for straighter textures. Our ancestors invented the Afro Pik for Type 4 hair for a reason. That is the only combing tool for us.
Try all natural Ambunu as a shampoo, TOTAL GAME CHANGER!
Add some Slippery Elm and Marshmallow Root to it, and it doubles as a detangler ❤
Hi coilette, do you use gels or mousse in your hair? A lot of the pics you’ve shown are women with hair similar to mine, but it looks like it’s in its stretched state, which is super cute. I went to a curl specialist, and maybe didn’t explain what i wanted properly, but she slabbed gel/mousse over my head and I don’t think it’s what my hair wants. Sure, I can see my pattern, but I’m loving the imagery you’re showing here. Thank you. ❤
And if it is stretched, what’s your thoughts on shampoo, condition, blow drying…
Hey :) I usually only use hair grease in my hair, gels/mousse make my hair too crunchy personally lol. I actually haven't used any heat since my big chop (Oct 2022) so I can't really give any thoughts other than use heat protectant 😄
Excellent video!
I’ve had ppl say my hair wasn’t mine or it had to be texturized or 🙄what are you mixed with some ppl are are ignorant and think looser hair textures have it easier or something
Honestly I just think it’s AA who make natural hair a spectacle/problem. I’m Haitian and in the carribean natural hair is not a big deal because most women/girls wear their natural hair. It’s the norm so there’s no stupid conversations of is it real is it not. Are you mixed are you not. And girls don’t get bullied for perms/weaves because all the girls wear their hair. So there’s nobody feeling like they have to look like the next girl.
well obviously in an ethnically diverse country it will be more of an issue. that’s common sense 😂
I definitely agree 10000%
The intro> 😂
Sending you fan if you’re catching heat🎉🎉
I love my shrinkage but if I wear it like that it will break off bad and knot up especially since it’s getting longer. so I just stick to my big beautiful blowouts. I use the same hair care routine in both states. So some of us stretch it because our hair likes it and thrives I came from being a buzz cut baddie for 7 years so short hair doesn’t bother me. This is my second round growing out my gorgeous hair ❤.
Type 4 hair is so much fun. Find what your hair love ladies and stick to it. Remember we may have similar hair types but our hair is diversely different.
Hi, I could not hear the TikToks you put in the video
Hard pill to swallow ❤
This is true for me. I was natural from 2013 to 2021. I did a pixie cut because i did not like my hair. Later i went back natural from 2022 to now. And i am learning to love my hair and care for it daily etc.
In general i had a lot of Insecurities and i had to work on them, and learn to accept myself for who i am and by putting in the work, i am also learning to love my hair and African features. Its a journey and im glad i am on the right track. I love these videos so much, they convict me.
She doesn't look mixed. At all.
3:19 yes girl 😂
Can we raise our glasses to her and finally put that exercise of futility aka the denman brush to rest.
So true
I agree with a lot of what's said but the comment section usually throws me off. Do people not realize how condescending and righteous they come across? The message is destroyed when you don't seem to understand why everyone hasn't become enlightened yet and feel the need to berate and belittle THEIR struggle.
It is very true that no matter who hurt you it's up to YOU to find someway to get around it; that's the case with most traumatizing experiences.
People heal in their own time or maybe they don't heal at all, and a large majority of commenters here lack basic human empathy.
It feels like a lot of people with "type 4C" hair wish others with it who haven't become enlightened would just shut up and stop sharing their thoughts because they only want everyone to hear positive opinions on something THEY have.
I completely get how if you have something too, you don't really want to hear it be run into the ground, but everyone doesn't learn acceptance at the same pace.
If you read comments in general on similar topics you will see many people with long 4C hair basically accusing those with short 4C hair of being lazy; If they weren't lazy they would have long hair too. That is so insulting and superior when you have no idea why someone else's hair isn't retaining length. More often than not you see the short hair referred to as dry and damaged and the long as cared for and thriving... automatically assuming short hair isn't cared for and healthy.
That mindset is just as harmful as what all the whiners are doing, but fewer people will see that.
Hun what do you use for your egdes im struggling for it to grow back. I do wear wigs in the winter..i wear it in tbe day and i take ii off..so is it the wigs?
Hi Pinky! It may not be the wigs if you’re not gluing, but the friction from them probably isn’t helping either. I don’t use anything on my edges I’m just more gentle with them, but there is a great creator on RUclips called @tamithecreator who showed her two year edge growth journey with her routine and products. She might have something that works for you. Hope this helps 💕
@@thisiscoilettei don't wear the glue wigs it just normal wigs..iv got some hair but its not thick. It might be my age im 56 so i don't know. I will look at that you tube thank you xxx
FRR
Great content!
@Coillette What’s your Pinterest account?
Link is in the description ✨
Why can't natural textured hair use a Denman brush? 🤔
Show short 4c hair
There’s a lot of short hair in the video..
Rev 21:3-6
I’m one of those who feel CURSED by 4C and NO I’m not lazy. I wash/ condition my hair once every 2 weeks and spend hours detangling, and another couple hours styling. I take good care to make sure my hair looks presentable at least, but it’s a curse having to put in all that work for my hair to not even be socially deemed as worthy of respect. I get compliments every day when I wear my loose curly wigs, lemme wear my 4C out and immediately it’s “your hair looks like that bc you don’t take care of it” and that’s AFTER I take GOOD care of it. But they don’t talk about loose curls like that.
Edit: just putting out there that I’m seeing a lot of hate for girls like me who do hate their 4C, but the problem is maybe we need to be uplifted and spoken up instead of spoken down to lmfao, yea my hair is the worst texture and you think I hate myself bc of that opinion? Yeah let’s tell girlies like me we’re the worst and anti black 💀 that’ll change our opinion for sure. I WISH I could love my hair, my husband LOVES my natural hair, he’s seen me cry over doing my hair, it ain’t easy struggling like this. Try some compassion.
😂😂
Can we just choose how to wear our hair, natural, relaxed, whatever and call it a day?
I haven’t watched far the video, just in the disclaimer moment. I just…can we stop shaming anyone who does what they need to do for survival knowing that it is not in their best interest for a positive self image in the long run? I have genuinely attempted for years to be an unbothered natural girlie but now currently wear a long yaki wig on a daily basis. I don’t exist in a vacuum and it feels horrible seeking community and getting the messaging that oh you still hate yourself oh you this that and the third I am just trying to exist in an alarmingly white area and will not have the means to move for years probably. Am I paranoid or did sis just roll her eyes at me and my wig walking down the street because I can’t afford to get braids at the moment and stepping outside of Eurocentric hair length/approved style standards is going to make people at work look at me sideways? I can’t help but feel defensive, life is genuinely too hard without adding extra layers or micro aggressions when people want to take you down several pegs because your hair isn't what THEY want it to look like. I just want to take in positive content about my hair and what it has the potential to do and how wonderful it already is without being shamed for having to exist in society. My mom had short, sometimes natural hair for almost all of my life but she was absolutely gorgeous and an accomplished professional. And even she never got her happily ever after moment. We can critique standards without shaming people for trying to adhere to them. The emotional and social toll of turning away from these standards in an actionable, practical way is never discussed in detail, it's all finger wagging you have to love yourself, why are you so self hating, you are not in tune enough with blackness, etc, etc. I love being black, I love my hair, I also just want to survive and live in peace, please and thank you.
I understand this, and I've spoken about the nuance of assimilation before because I also lived in a predominantly white area for quite a while as a child. If I remember correctly, I basically said 'do what you have to, but please don't hurt your hair underneath'. This video was not made for this case, but for (most of) the others - i.e., if you have ample time, opportunity and resource (financial, social or otherwise) but still choose to punch down on yourself, I won't pretend not to see it. And if this content is not for you, I understand. I'm only here to help, but as I mentioned in one of my other videos, if watching me negatively affects your mental health, please feel free to log off. I never want to hurt anyone, but my whole channel is dedicated to a sensitive subject, so this can happen from time to time.
my hair specifically thrives and grows faster until a wig. womp womp. this is kind of projecting one beauty standard on all black women, even thise who enjoy wigs because theres nothing wrong with preference.
She's not opposed to wigs in general, though. She's opposed to the way black women en masse wear wigs that are much looser than our natural hair texture. Basically, why do we keep wearing wigs that are either loose curls or straight instead of kinky curly or afro? Personally I think price is a factor. When I wanted to wear a natural looking wig, I saw they were $300 USD at least and nearly cried😭😭😭 I would have to convert that to my country's currency and struggle.
Shabbat Shalom
And she prefers to appreciate the hair that she was created with! She is not insecure about her hair nor wanting it to be more straight like other nations. And she's right!
She don't want to be fake, putting on fake hair!
If you insist, sis 🙄
@@TempleCleanerSisterNacresha but what does her preference have to do with me or how I love myself. Sometimes you can be too intelligent to understand other people who don’t like things you like.
@@no.6377 if you dont invest in yourself first even if you dont want to who will exactly?
truthfully. sometimes wigs is a fashion statement. its a projection to think my hair broke off under my wig sis. bad take. sorry.💕
I don't recall saying that, and I've never said that wigs were bad -- it's always the mindset behind them that determines that. Also, none of the TikToks mentioned had anything to do with wigs, so I'm not sure where this is coming from 🤷🏽♀️