How to (Gracefully) Say No

[@amimusic3]

I miss the days when I could just say "my mom said no"

[@rylieross73]

You still can as an adult just say "I have to help my mom set something up" or "My mom misses me and I need to spend time with her"

[@jadethegingergoblin718]

Alyssa Iulianetti Same. Good, good days.

[@BobSmith-tm2kj]

Thankfully in this economy it's not unusual to live with your parents. Thus "Parent's roof, parent's rules"
Also there's the classic "My parents are old and need my help" line.
TBH as a child I had moments where I didn't want to do things, and I told them my dad wouldn't let me, and he shows up out of nowhere and says "what are you talking about? You can TOTALLY do that! Have fun!"
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

[@GoddessError]

Alyssa Iulianetti
Well, you COULD still say that. No one will belive you, but it might work.

[@kendrabrecka279]

No I have to help my mom move, no I'm going out to lunch with my mom, no i have to teach my mom how to use her phone because technology is scary to her

[@lucas56sdd]

"Hey, do you want to get a snack later?" *Direct eye contact, Deadpan* "My family would be disappointed with me if I took another obligation."

[@ZomBeeNature]

AH HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! XD

[@gladysbinion8029]

XD

[@iamtheyak8592]

A strategy for an open-ended "Can you do me a favor?" is to respond with "Why? What's up?"
This keeps you from making a commitment and forces the asker to state their wishes before you give a response.

[@thiaguinhogameplays]

Damn! Thank you for the tip

[@BeOutstanding]

no. The asker most likely have a reason to reel you in.
instead, you can just say a reason like let me think about it because I have so and so commitment and (reasons and reasons.)

[@RainaRamsay]

Harvard Business School recommends a yes-no-yes structure
Yes: find the thing that you are saying 'yes' to, that necessitates you saying 'no' to this thing. For example, saying yes to self-care, or more time your family, which can't be done if you say yes to this thing. This makes it easier to provide the context, and also makes it easier to stand up to badgering.
No: Tell them that you can't/won't do the thing
Yes: say 'yes' to your relationship with this person, by offering an alternative, saying yes to something else they've asked you to do, or just spending some time talking to that person about things that are important to them. This tells them that the 'no' wasn't personal, and you're still friends.
[source: The Power Of A Positive No]

[@randombut2erfly]

I work at a library and we were trained to shut down inappropriate comments by blaming other people. "Oh sorry I can't give out my phone number while at work, I can get fired" or "My boss will yell at me if I keep chatting, I need to get back to work" or "Anyway, is there a library related question I can help you with?" all put the blame on someone else (rules that don't actually exist, a boss, and diversions), while stil setting a boundary.

[@lizziejean1218]

randombut2erfly Thank you for sharing! Recently I've been having problems with inappropriate comments like this at work and I get so nervous that I don't know what to say. This is so helpful!

[@randombut2erfly]

lizziejean, I practice all these phrases in the mirror/at my dog, just so I'm used to saying them when I'm in an awkward, anxious situation when I need them!

[@javanshirmustafaev4792]

aplomb - self-confidence or assurance, especially when in a demanding situation
For anyone curious about the meaning and/or wondering how to spell it :)

[@RainaRamsay]

+

[@thatjillgirl]

+ I laughed so much when he was trying to say it like plum.

[@katiefrank7351]

Now I feel less nerdy for knowing the word. And having used it once or twice. It's such a good word.

[@kimberleewelch7995]

If Hank has taught us anything, it's the more nerdiness, the better.

[@pyrotheevilplatypus]

As a teacher, I'm stealing this to use in health classes. So much of this overlaps with dealing with peer-pressure without being PSA corny.

[@OneColdMonkey]

I just never leave the house. Can't disappoint anyone if you don't meet anyone! ...Of course, nobody ever accused me of adulting very well.

[@xxbighotshotxx]

That sounds depressing

[@EliStettner]

Seems to be the main strategy these days.

[@mariom6065]

Those who never dare to grow, will never grow; because, a person who never dared to make effort stay contracted instead of expanded. A person could do that, yet life will force you out of your comfort zone whether you like it or not.

[@nefertalakkad]

It's important to know that you don't always need to explain why you said no; sometimes you don't owe people that.
P.S. As long as you can use "my mum said no", use it!

[@Dixavd]

"New phone, who this?" Works even better in person! _(people end the conversation discombobulated)_

[@songfreak1745]

My way of saying no (not gracefully) is just **overly intense eye contact** *No.*

[@mangaluver1231]

This video was exactly what I needed today! A friend just texted me in a group text saying they wanted to catch up on FaceTime and guys I am not a fan of facetiming. I was so worried about saying no because I didn't want to seem rude or disinterested (especially in a group text with all my other friends seeing the exchange), but this really helped me out and gave me great advice. Thank you guys for this video!

[@engreyight]

_I've taken my time to think about it and I'm really grateful for your request of my subscription but I'm afraid my family would be really disappointed at me if I started following another channel. However, you should try asking Jeremy. He's always bored so I'm sure he'd make a better fan than what I could ever be._ :P

[@beakybug]

Paralelepipedon Rubik +1

[@RainaRamsay]

lol

[@prysmakitty]

As an adult introvert with depression and anxiety that very frequently make it necessary to either decline straight-off or cancel later... turning it around definitely works, and I do it all the time, I don't wait for badgers. I find something positive to start off with, and phrase it in ways that make it clear that it's about me. How you frame things makes all the difference when you're defending your time and energy (some of us have one or the other or both in short supply, so they're valuable). You don't have to defend it any less fiercely, just do it in tactful ways. Major thumbs up for covering the subject!

[@violaces]

can you share some examples of what you say to people? i'm a huge introvert with anxiety as well, and i have a very extroverted friend who always invites me to events that i know i wouldn't like, and she gets mad if i say no or if i'm busy. how would you handle that outright instead of letting yourself get badgered and have to make excuses?

[@prysmakitty]

That pretty much depends on the extrovert. One thing about being an introvert: many of us are very good at reading subtle cues, and for some people, anxiety enhances that. That can be useful.
I've met extroverts who just didn't understand that introverts are a thing, and who had seen too much mass media that convinced them I just needed an outgoing friend to draw me out of my shell so I could see how much more fun and healthy it was to be like them. They have good intentions but don't get it. Sometimes those ones will back down if you can explain to them how it works. Infographics help. I recommend this one: romanjones.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Live-with-Introverts-PDF-available-291305760 I explain that I like their company but find it exhausting to try to concentrate on them and on distractions like a lot of other people at the same time. I tell them I prefer to do things that let me focus more on them and the interaction between us, and I try to make suggestions. I tell them that as far as this event, I would really rather spend the time recharging my batteries so I can do something one-on-one with them later and not be a bone-tired zombie during it. Basically, I try to get them to see it as a matter of quality, not quantity, which unfortunately doesn't work with all extroverts. Especially extroverts who, for one reason or another, have a limited circle of friends. On the other hand, it can work really well with some extroverts who just didn't realize that what seems perfectly normal to them isn't universal. Depending on the person and the situation, I may point out that I feel like I'm keeping them from having fun at events if they're spending a lot of time checking on how I'm doing, and that makes me feel bad, and I'd rather they felt free to enjoy themselves.
If it's someone who knows I have anxiety and depression issues, I ask them to please respect the fact that I only have so much energy and that I need enough of it to look after my cats, prepare meals, and other basic necessities, which can be touch and go some days even without other demands. If they know but don't understand, or don't know yet, I try to give them a refresher course (CrashCourse Psychology has good stuff to show them.) Personally, I see no more reason to hide my mental health issues than I would expect a friend I'm inviting over for dinner to hide being diabetic or having food allergies, but I realize that varies for other people.
All of those failing, I get down to, "No, I'm sorry, but that really isn't my kind of thing. I hope you have fun, and I hope we can do something together soon, but I'm just not interested in this." When personal energy is a finite resource, it's valuable and deserves to be budgeted as carefully as money, and I don't go around handing out cash and buying expensive things for everyone I know, something I remind myself of often when I need to dig in my heels and refuse in the face of anger. Even refusing can be tiring, but not as much as several hours of politely smiling while struggling not to bolt for the door.
As a last ditch, I stop and reflect. If this person believes I automatically should share all their interests and will not listen to anything else, if this person is refusing to respect my limitations and my boundaries, if this person is ignoring my feelings and opinions and desires, if this person can't or won't recognize that I'm a different person, then is this really a person I can call a friend, someone worth my finite energy? At times, the answer for me has been "No."
But then, I'm in my 40s and I've had some time to learn what to watch for and to get tired of letting people vampire all my energy when my payback is little or nothing beyond avoiding a confrontation. I can't do it to, say, return a defective item, I have to get my (very sympathetic) extrovert girlfriend to do that for me, but at least I can protect myself. :-) In a nutshell, I find it's more often cluelessness than malice or bullying. This is, of course, all just my personal experience and approach, and your mileage may vary, but I hope it helps. Good luck!

[@violaces]

Steph Shangraw that's so helpful, thank you! you seem very wise 😊 i've been skipping all the steps where you try to explain and just going "NO SORRY BYE" lol

[@prysmakitty]

Not wisdom, just experience. LOL
I've noticed that high-energy extroverts can come on so strong, unintentionally, that they can spook an unready introvert into what amounts to a fear/defense reaction that borders on flight-or-fight and makes it hard to think things through rationally or come at it from any other angle in the moment. (Then they can be totally bewildered by the response and end up feeling defensive in turn. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what's happening.) The trick, or at least a trick, is to work it out in advance so you have a mental outline ready when that happens and you don't have to figure it out on the fly. Seriously, try to find a copy of Susan Cain's book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" and/or look up a TED talk by her. (I've recently had a suggestion to read Elaine Aron's "The Highly Sensitive Person" but haven't yet.) Introverts have strengths, and planning this stuff can be one. So can observation.
Having a sympathetic extrovert friend can be really useful and rewarding for both of you, if you can find a balance between needs. I hope you can. Glad it helps. Introverts need to stick together. Intermittently, with space. ;-)

[@mjparham6430]

@@prysmakitty this is the Beautiful thing About anxiety it doesnt allow you to put yourself in awkward positions at least most of the time my brain come up with quick snap backs ex:I need me time downtime,need to rest been spreading myself to thin,got prior obligations I've been putting off,all of these are true.

[@JamieLeeBones]

Completely guilty of feeling like a jerk when I say no. A lot of time I feel like I'm coming up with an excuse when I need a little 'me' time, but knowing other people feel this too makes me feel better :) This is super helpful, thank you so much!!

[@mirandamcdowell879]

OH MY GOOD LORDIE LORD ALMIGHTY I CAN FUNCTION AS A HUMAN BEING NOW FRIKIN' BLESS YOU HANK AND 'HOW TO ADULT'!

[@Frapsity]

There should be a blooper reel for every video done by hank's channels

[@Kelly_Z]

A video about avoiding burnout, spotting oncoming burnout, and dealing with it after it's occurred would be awesome

[@SoyJGAko]

With the virus going on I have some friends who are starting to ease up and hangout with each other but I really don't feel safe to hanging out yet, so using this video to try to turn down plans and prioritize my needs and safety. Thanks!

[@Cicero17-18]

Same! Until now, I don't feel safe to go out. I only go out when necessary. But all of my friends are not afraid and really likes to go out and frustrating me on how to say no. 😑

[@PaulaZF]

I used to teach a Women's Self Defense course. Using No was a great tool, to the point of yelling NO when you're in trouble (instead of Help or Fire).
It really gives you power over a situation where someone tries to take advantage of you. I said if No doesn't feel right, then try No, thank you.
I really like the detail and different options you gave. I shared this on Facebook and bookmarked it in case the need arises.
Thanks!!

[@MattiHeartsHP]

How To ADHD just did a video on how to manage projects, and make decisions about what to say yes to, it's really helpful!

[@slightlysoulfulspatula]

I pretty much do what you suggested. Thank them for the offer and politely decline. I used to rarely say no, but in the last decade, I've been saying it more and more and I find that my mental health is MUCH better for saying no to stuff! Also, using other obligations as the reason usually stops the badgering in my experience. For people who continue to badger, I lose my patience and just keep saying no. If I have a good rapport with them/know them really well, I'll even whip out the "No means no" phrase. There might even be occasions where it would be appropriate to ask the other person "what are you willing to do to make circumstances such that I *can* do this thing?" ... often, it's not a darn thing. But sometimes, especially with friends and family, they'll do whatever they need to in order to free you up to do the thing.

[@katedoes...9783]

Very apt for this time of year.

[@lenaevess]

I try to compliment the other person or project for example "I am flattered but I am spoken for" or "that sounds like and interesting project but at the moment I am way too busy". Also lifehack: instead of repeating apologies (I know it feels sometimes like you need to say it a thousand times) I thank the people. For example; "thank you for understanding my schedule" or "thank you for being flexible and understanding" when late or I cant make it. People tend to take news they don't like better when you show them that you appriciate them instead of you feeling bad about the situation.

[@typelogin]

Saying No can be very empowering. When I say No if it's a face-to-face or over the phone conversation I always give a reason.

[@MirkoFranceschi]

I really like this series and I appreciate your work in doing these videos. Thank you!

[@kittym4818]

The perks of being chronically ill - You can always blame a no on your illness.
Or you could develop actual social skills like Hank.

[@GuilhermeSilva-uq7on]

Hi How to adult crew!
I would like to comment about that poster in the back - The "Hang in There" one.
I'm from brazil, having some trouble in my life lately, to the point where i'm having constant thoughts of suicide.
I am a very curious person, and have a deep passion in learning things, watching crash course and scishow - i'm sorta new to "How to adult", but i liked it since the first video - its aways a thrill, and i thought it was very kinda of the scenario choice regarding the poster.
Please, shake the hand of the guy/girl who put it up there for me, i would most centanly be glad about that.
Btw, i would also love a shoutout in any video possible from any channel, you can use my "internet name" GSR.
Ps: it stands for the abreviation of my full name.

[@MissKariPanda]

I feel like "saying no" and timemanagement is the thing I have learned the most about in uni. Me and my significant other had two jobs each last semester in addition to taking extra subjects in addition to being engaged in several studentgroups/unions. i even wrote my Significant other a google doc called "no" that they could use whenever someone asked them something. It contains a more gracefull rejection, and the offer to find someone else who can help. I don't think either of us actually uses it. but I think it was a good practise in saying no but still show interest.

[@Spynug]

I cant say no to my job. My boss asked me if I can stay 3 hours later, I said yes, then later he asked if I could work tomorrow on my day off. Then today he asked me if I could come on an hour early.

[@korova96]

Honestly, I find this video very useful. It's nice to see high quality content.

[@OAmoretNoctis1Izzy]

I really appreciate this video. Thank you for doing these things Hank and other less visible people involved.

[@RockawayCCW]

I just keep it simple. "Thanks for asking but I'm not interested."

[@catiedoesit]

I've found that with people I'm closer with (ie: my sisters) if they don't take my graceful "no" then I literally just have to say "I said no. I'm sorry, but I really can't/ really don't feel up to it." sometimes, the direct approach is best if someone just won't let it go (assuming your relationship is that solid)

[@PalimpsestProd]

"We don't need no sinking badgers!"

[@hellobookworms3083]

Oh man. I needed this yesterday. I work for my dad. Yesterday, my VP asked me to give our bank account number to one of our salesmen so he could deposit a check. I am not in a position to give that information out. Everyone just thinks I am because I am the boss's daughter. Turns out my dad agreed with me that that info needs to stay private, but my VP basically put it on me that if we didn't get the money in the bank immediately we would lose $70,000 because the Sistine may want to back out of a contract. That is a lot of stress and pressure for a 50 year old man to put on a 22 year old college student. I can't answer for my dad. Ask him yourself!
Edit: This VP also wants me to look into proper way of formatting a legal letter. I have to spend my whole day doing math and accounting and job costs. This man can't forward an email.

[@modestas2890]

VP?

[@hellobookworms3083]

Modestas the Vice President of my dad's company

[@nikkielevated2481]

My grandmother has been convinced by her daughter to go to Florida for a few days for her birthday. Her daughter (my aunt) lives in Florida. First, they wanted me and my 4 year old to drive 8 hours to Houston. When I said that was too far of a trip for me to do all the driving, they changed it to going to Florida. My grandmother smokes cigarettes and my aunt and her wife think wearing a mask is such a stupid thing. Cigarettes make me nauseous and I’m not comfortable going out to eat to restaurants several times a day without wearing a mask. They want me to go because my grandmother doesn’t want to fly alone. I have some health things going on that I need to have checked out. They are honestly very self-centered and none of that matters to them. They called me nonstop this past weekend and I decided not to answer because I wasn’t going to give them my weekend again. The previous weekend I spent 5 hours driving my grandmother (with my 4 year old) because she needed to go somewhere. She lives an hour and a half away from me. Where she wanted to go was an hour from her house. I had to drive her back and then drive me and my son back home. It was a lot. When I finally spoke to them yesterday my grandmother attempted to guilt trip me saying, “I want to know when we’re going to buy the tickets because your aunt says we need to get them now and I really want to go on this trip but I don’t want to go alone.” I told her that I don’t have the money right now, and that she could still go even if I don’t go. I was trying to say no but she said she can’t go and have to wait for a layover and deal with an airport without me. Honestly, I feel like I’m being used. I say that because these are people who could go years without ever even checking on my well-being or calling me. I always have to be the one to reach out in any other situation to talk to them. I feel like my health isn’t important to them. My aunt is planning all this lavish stuff and says “and I’m buying her (my grandmother) a nice handbag so you can go half”. Whaaaaaat? I’m a single mother living alone. I can barely afford rent and you want me to spend over $300-400 on a handbag so you can brag about something materialistic. I send them sermons and scriptures and even invited them to virtual Bible study and no one ever wants to participate in that. But they want me to fly across the country, not feeling well, with a 4 year old, and put ourself in jeopardy even more. Yet I still don’t want to say no rudely but when I think of all that it upsets me.

[@SiskoMaSu]

Thank you thank you thank you!

[@daniellesweitzer7801]

This is absolutely fantastic thank you so much!

[@TaraWagner]

Haha - FOMO is so real, especially in this day and age. When I think of overwhelm and overworked I think of boundaries which leads me to saying "no" whenever it is most appropriate.

[@itsallaboutyoujesusworship1823]

This channel is phenomenall!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@jotalina]

I always throw the 'I have some family stuff already planned' every time my boss want to make us travel to another city for parties or boring meetings. That's the only exception. Out of work I'm unable to say no, sometimes is stressful to have to commit to do things or go to places just because Im too shy or I just want to avoid being rude. I'm totally going to practice some of these strategies lets see how it goes.

[@larissa_thenightowl]

I love those hanging lights in the background. Also another great video

[@mausmalone]

This is the first one of these videos where I realized you guys have matching *alternating* Hang In There posters.

[@ZomBeeNature]

There is a group of people I know that their normal interactions with each other is to keep asking them to do it after they have already said no. It is very irritating to tell them the word "No" repeatedly and them ignoring it. At that point I just tell them "I already told you "No", so stop it." They still try to persist trying to talk me into it. So I get angry. And they don't understand that. I don't care though since I think it is beyond rude to keep pressing it like that.
Everyone, please watch my tiny nature videos. There is no talking in them. Shhh!

[@mjparham6430]

Yep got those idiots in my Family what I love more than anything is cutting them off it's hard being around needy Manipulative,overbearing ppl they just suck the energy out of your space.

[@nicole-corine4121]

The thing I try to remember is the few times people wanted to/had to say no to an invite or something from me but were afraid to and just didn't show up and that sucked. So I try to think about how it's less jerk like to just say no upfront

[@Sean-mx5ej]

Saying no is a complete sentence. Reasserting no after being denied is hard because you assume you acted wrong -- kinda like saying no to a stranger who first says to you "I need to you to give me this and that otherwise I'll go homeless and die". What if a million people said the same thing to you, would you blame yourself. And even giving that person this and that won't save them unless because you probably don't have enough money to buy them a house and even if you could they wouldn't be able to pay the upkeep of the house without a job and then when they sell the house you bought them they will ask for more money. The whole guilt trap is self inflicted.

[@PatrickAllenNL]

good topic!

[@harmony3395]

This is useful but it’s focusing on time management. What about “no” to other requests (can I borrow your car, can I wear your suit, can I have a sleepover tonight, can you lend us some money?). Those are the difficult ones, find it much easier to explain being busy!

[@Archie3D]

Don't ever provide a reason of why you say 'no'. Other person may try to "fix" this reason for you, and this can become very awkward and weakens your position, especially when the reason provided is fake.

[@microceratus]

So helpful!

[@Glenmere85]

Bahahaha!! I'm 32 yo and I needed this video so much! :D Thanks Hank, hope you enjoy Melbourne when you down under.

[@RachelAnn]

I say no all the time. No, I don't want to go see that movie with you, I'm not interested in spending my time and money on something I'm not super excited about, maybe we can get coffee sometime next week because I'd love to catch up. I'm sorry, I can't commit to this project right now because while it's a great idea, I'm trying to focus my project energies into my own project/brand. No, I can't host the thing, I've been emotionally exhausted from x these past few weeks and don't want to have a bunch of people at my place, maybe we can meet at this restaurant instead.
That got unexpectedly long, but some more examples never hurt anyone.

[@robertofontiglia4148]

"Don't feel the need to be overly apologetic." -- But I'm Canadian, though. So I'm sorry.Thanks for your advice, really. It means a lot to me, but I just... I have to... I'm really sorry... Really... Sorry... Doughnut ?
No ? I'm so sorry !

[@mjparham6430]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@williamjones2994]

No is not a graceful word. Embrace it with decisive intent.

[@Trinnabon]

This is great, usually if i get invited somewhere by a person I barely like but still want to be nice to...I just pretend I am going and then don't like the day prior...and make it seem like i regret it and listen to them brag about how "awesome" the party was but in reality I think it's lame either way and wish they'd stop talking...so yeah that is how does a naturally rude crazy person gets out of shit....

[@WiredMartian]

Thanks for this ❤️

[@Duckofdoom91]

a·plomb- noun Self-confidence or assurance, especially when in a demanding situation. I had to look it up.

[@CaitlintehCat]

Occasionally I have said that I made plans with my fiance when I had not in order to avoid something... and he's done the same as well. Kinda the same as a family obligation but more specific to my situation.

[@medslarge]

I needed this a lot

[@briancurtis6022]

I find it easy to say No, since it has no effect on what I have to do anyway.

[@meetulsharma06]

But saying no to family is so hard .. when you put all your time to them and when you need time for self care/ study/self work ... they just make you feel guilty like ... " you can do this work when you play games for 1 hr " .. like .. i want to relax in that 1 hr and not work .... i have tried to abide by my schedule ( which is already really hard coz sometimes studying is tedious).. and now this ..... that guilt is too much ... but after saying no and 20 mins of them trying to guilt trip me into doing stuff and then giving up ,..... after that .. it feels okay .. ! You might feel a little bad at first ... but trust me .. giving time to yourself and not always compromising is worth it ..!!!!

[@malenchki]

Owmji, why is he here?? You're supposed to be in Crash Course. I'm shookt.

[@novaquestgaming]

Is it a good idea to say "I don't really fancy it this week"?

[@alwaysyouramanda]

I couldn’t believe the result. My mom came to me crying in the rain asking for $500 after having not seen me or tried to come over for years- she heard I had saved some money. When I got a “no” out- I was so scared- but the tears went away. She SMILED and was fine!!!!

[@KotodamaViBritannia]

Thanks :')

[@ShogunPip]

I do always feel bad saying no, but I usually have good excuses considering I'm an adult who still lives with the parents lol they're pretty much, "It's a school night for my little sisters so I have to be home at 8 so they can sleep" or "my mom can't sleep unless I'm home and she sets the house alarm at 10." If the obligation is during the daytime, I use my boyfriend as an excuse, even though we usually only hang out for 3 hours at a time, or I claim I have a lot of housework. All of this is true, so I'm not lying, and it makes it seem like I really do want to come along, but I'm a slave to the many duties and responsibilities I have. Of course, with this comes people not inviting me anymore because they know I can't come, but I honestly love sitting at home and saving my money so I'm not bugged by it lol

[@jadethegingergoblin718]

Boy, this came at an opportune time. Too much stuff going on, and I need to allow myself time to chill.

[@PatrickAllenNL]

non of the suggestions is just saying: no thanks im good!
or in some cases just say fuck no I'd rather die.
but al jokes aside you dont need a legit reason to say no if you just dont want to do something.

[@TheGoldenTater]

What about strategies on How to admit mistakes?

[@rtaraquin]

"I don't know, Hank. Jeremy is cute and all, but I don't think a robot will appreciate this wine tasting."

[@aprildawnsunshine4326]

How do I figure out which things to say no to though?!? Like there's so much I want to do and I don't have time for the things I'm already doing!

[@PaulaZF]

AprilDawn Bennett That's when you use the first strategy of "let me check my calendar and get back to you." Then really do that! People will come to expect that response and not give you grief about it.

[@sukiratgrewal]

I don't care i would just say no

[@palindromee]

As a student who doesn't like drinking/partying (yes we exist) my go to is usually "sorry I've got so much work to do and I'm stressing so bad about it" works a solid 99% of the time but makes me feel like an awful human when I know I did all my work yesterday

[@tobi97dk]

I know how you feel

[@TheNinjapancake14]

Why didn't I know this video existed

[@janetmichel3009]

Also, when you took some time to think about your answer: once you’ve got your answer, don’t procrastinate to actually deliver it! The longer you wait the more of an inconvenience your “no” will be to the other person.

[@Jaktado]

You say no gracias amigo

[@sukiratgrewal]

Just say "i dont think so"

[@cheeseisgreat24]

I don't know about all y'all, but my strategy almost always consists of throwing a smoke bomb and Dropping a chandelier on my enemies and riding the rope all the way up.

[@sween187]

it was on fire when I got here,

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

Wowww look at that hair!

[@jefferstangier]

The additional camera getting your aside remarks to the right is really not doing you any favors. I get the reason for it but it's visually awkward. The lighting seems wrong from that angle and your position looks unnatural or even a little contorted.

[@sweetsandcharades8383]

jefferstangier yeah, it seems... weird.

[@Horsey0Luver]

I was hoping somebody would mention this. It's extremely awkward, especially since we're seeing the actual head turn rather than a clean cut to his head being turned to the right. I think it would still be really weird even with clean cuts, though, and should just be abandoned altogether.

[@Monicalala]

The exposure is higher but I enjoyed it.

[@ayojellowya]

i swear this dude is eveywhere...

[@magda_mf]

How many youtube channels does Hank host?

[@TheSuperpinkstar1]

Watching this after accepting extra shifts from my manager and I couldn't say no oop

[@robbvious]

I just say no.

[@EldenringPvP645]

how to say NO????
step1 say no
step2 don't give a fuck

[@rhysandmiles]

It took me WAY too long to figure out it was blueberries in the end screen. 😅

[@rmz4504]

Just no works

[@moogleschnapperzchs3030]

This guy sounds like john green...

[@sebastien-loikntsangou-kan5264]

Aren't you from Crash Course?

[@RainaRamsay]

Ooh, almost in the 301 crowd!

[@robspiess]

Sorry, that's not a thing anymore. RUclips "fixed" the 301 "issue".

[@engreyight]

RUclips may fix it's bugs (though it's not very likely :P) they can never purge our society! :D

[@RainaRamsay]

I mean, the "stuck at 301" thing isn't a thing anymore, but that doesn't mean the 301 crowd can't be a thing. It'll just stop making sense, much like most other human traditions. :)

[@flyingpies]

By now it's mostly just an inside joke. The only reason why I know about it is because I heard about it in a RUclips video about old features/problems of RUclips. I don't even know why I'm watching this channel - I just started high school.

[@RainaRamsay]

+FlyingPies_ High school is actually a great time to start learning this stuff, cuz it gives you several years to practice before you have to do it "for real"

[@Ummuri2000]

My dance teacher doesn't understand the meaning of "no" so I'll say I have already agreed to do something else (even if I haven't yet). If that doesn't work out I'll ghost her and then just say I never got her texts :/

[@sarairoberts3940]

They guy from crash course 💀

[@audreyneal6168]

I low key thought this was an anti drug episode
Which I mean these could totally work but I don't think a reliable scedual will stop someone 😆

[@lucylincoln2551]

40yo and I'm just learning how to adult...

[@ocaraevil]

WHERE IS EMMA

[@patrickmonaghan9783]

First off what kind of person I’m getting my advice from ?

[@freetalkn657]

I think it is 'ah-plahmb' instead of 'ah-plum'.

[@erilassila409]

I wish How to Adult made a video about how to ask someone to be your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate. I'm going to ask that soon and I'm absolutely terrified

[@learnhowtoadult]

Oh hey! Here is a video for just that subject :)
ruclips.net/video/YeEJ_RN6V0g/видео.html

[@erilassila409]

How to Adult Oh my goodness thanks! I'm going to have to ask the big question soon before the love of my life graduates from university and I'm left here, stuck at uni for another few years. I have to watch that vid and pop the question.