I have a wife who is stay at home. We have two kids. I am at median household income. Finances are tight, but it works. Would more money be nice? Sure, but there are a lot of advantages to having a housewife, too. These guys gave fantastic advice.
I stay home and educate our 5 children. I couldn't be more grateful to my husband for how hard he works for our family! He is amazing and an incredible blessing. We do without a lot of things but we have so much more!
God bless you, for allowing your wife the luxury of raising your children. I stayed home and I treasure it like nothing else in my lifetime. I sacrificed nothing. It was what I wanted most in the world. My husband's job demanded a lot of travel and when he was away I held down the fort. It wasn't bad at all though. It was kind of cozy when it was just me and the girls. When he came home, he was able to leave work behind and be there 100% for us. I couldn't have imagined a better life.
I'm not saying this is never true, but most of the time you can afford the mom to stay home it's just a matter of what you're willing to sacrifice: eating out, vacations, what state you live in etc, etc.
She is working at a daycare to pay for daycare? And nothing more? If thats true, she could stay home and watch the kids. As a mom who worked in daycare to earn an income, i still cant wrap my head around working in daycare to only pay for daycare
He just doesn’t want her to stay home. He doesn’t want to carry the financial weight and he needs to be honest about that. He should’ve been before marriage but here we are
I honestly don’t think it is a wise desire on her part and would be fair to the husband. To have to carry a whole household on your back in today’s economy? This man is on the fast track to stress related heath issues
@@WhyThisWhyNowit’s doable, if you make sacrifices to not live luxuriously like is sold to Americans. You don’t need new phones every 2 years, you don’t need a big fancy house, you don’t need brand new cars that you can’t afford. You don’t need every subscription out there. You make sacrifices for your children and family, or don’t have them.
This day and age the default assumption is both people in a couple will work, so if she wanted to stay home she should have been clear about that before marriage.
The Indignation in his attitude towards his wife is unsettling. This is probably not the only area in their relationship where this shows up. He’s treating her like a parent to a child. The well being in his home should be a top priority. Taking a $60k job working for a nonprofit is a luxury he can’t afford. He’s in his peak earning years, he should be setting his family up for the future.
But only if both want her to. If he doesn't want a one income family it's going to cause resentment. They both have to agree on it for it to work. And not all women want to be stay at home mothers. I certainly didnt and both my kids are doing great.
@@jasminesuarez8358 Well I hope your mother, MIL, sister or SIL was the one watching your babies while you were working. You can't always trust them but at least you know one way or another. Google "Baby, daycare, bite marks." You will see countless babies each covered in countless bite marks. Of course siblings bite too but when Mom is at home at least she was there to comfort her infant.
@@jasminesuarez8358they're doing great on the outside, they appear to be doing okay. But you didn't see what might have happened to them in daycare, you didn't feel the loneliness and sense of abandonment they might have felt, as you dropped them off so you could work.
Late 2019/ early 2020 I came home full time when my husband’s gross salary was around $50k. He now makes $60k gross, with a max earning potential of $70k. We have actually saved money with me being home. We eat out significantly less, our grocery costs are less because I cook from scratch, and we’re both less stressed. If you make $60k doing what you do - you could technically go work elsewhere when they pay you more. Wanting to be a SAHM/house wife is not a bad thing. But the budget has to budge to allow it.
I agree. You can't pay people to love your children. He should look for opportunities to make more money for his family. She should look for opportunities to work at home which could include starting a home business. Even if she makes less, she will net more when you take in consideration the expenses of working outside the home.
She is working just to pay daycare. 😢. I worked part time on the weekends as a waitress in order to stay home with my children. Three nights a week was our compromise.
I know some nurses who work 3 days a week on the weekend for full-time pay to be at home with their children. They have no weekend, and work long shifts, but then again the children aren't in daycare either.
If your wife wants to stay at home have the discussion noted on the call and try to figure out how it can be worked out. My wife and I did that when our children were young.we had to sacrifice on some nice things but it was one of the best decisions we ever made.
If his wife really wants to stay home maybe she should figure out how many students she needs to pick up to match what she’s making after paying for her kids to be in daycare and other work related expenses. Pick up the students and then quit. If she taps into the homeschooling market she could probably teach while both kids are in school. Music teachers are had to find in my area and both of my kids had to wait months to get off of waitlist. I bet it’s very doable in CT too.
The comment section will be all over the place on this one. Some will say the wife needs to work while raising kids. Others will say that raising kids is the most important job of a parent, and the wife should stay home to raise kids. I have my opinion but that doesn't matter. All that counts is the next paragraph. If you are going to have children, do so with someone who shares your values. Both Dad and Mom work outside the home or one stays home while the other works outside the home. It really doesn't matter what you choose as long as both people are on the same page and share similar values. It is as simple as that.
Here's the thing: most women are not told the truth about how drastically their feelings are going to change about motherhood until AFTER they've gone through the experience of growing and then birthing that small baby, and then having to hand that tiny baby over to someone else to watch, love on, get a good majority of their firsts and the mother's get the leftovers and the recap of the baby's life. Most women do not understand how deeply in love they will be with their babies until they're holding them in their arms and then the count down begins to when they have to part with that tiny little creation.
Having 4 grown kids, I can tell you I wish that I would have stayed home instead of worked while they were growing up. Every time I talked about it my husband would say something like “ if that’s what you think you need to do then I can get a second job”. He did not say that with sincerity. I resent him for that even now.
Believe it or not, making an income comes with expenses, besides daycare. Gas, car insurance, processed or pre made food, dry cleaning, possibly house cleaning, etc, not to mention unpaid work time in the form of commuting and whatever you have to spend to make up for your burn out. It's amazing how far money can go when you have the time and head space of having one person devoted to the household only.
I see him saying my wife will never think this way except for her mom. Why do men think woman may not have their own dreams. Stay at home moms work dam hard. He talks like his mother in law had a free ride and has no idea. He has a point the economy has changed and two people working is more the norm but it makes it harder to be involved with your kids and does he expect his wife to work full time and do all the cooking and cleaning and stay on top of kids mainly by herself. I bet she does now and he does not see it.
We did that in California for years. The media makes it appear impossible. I managed to land a part time job at my son's elementary which helped us qualify to buy a house--it also enabled me to be home with him since I worked within his schedule. We live modestly and own used cars. We are not designer anything and cut cable years ago. We live good lives and are content.
Same. We lived on a single income in California in a two bedroom apartment. I worked off and on throughout the years, but he was the primary wage earner by far. That said, I don’t recommend raising kids like we did. Buy the house FIRST and both work and save until he can comfortably afford to at least pay all the mortgage himself until you try for kids. That way if she ends up needing to stay home, it’s an option.
My wife wants to be a stay at home, but currently is a nurse. I made the deal with her that once the house is payed off, she can stay home… Gotta be on the same page
My heart breaks for women in marriages whose husbands do not understand their children have a RIGHT to their mother and that it is a grave sin for a husband to fail to provide for his family. If you don’t want to be a husband and father then at least have the dignity not to marry and put your wife and children in this situation. Want to have your cake and eat it, too.
She’s going to miss out on the kids growing up. They grow up so fast. I asked my son if he’d rather our family be rich with me working or have me be a stay at home mom and he picked me staying at home. Kids will ALWAYS want a loving parent first and foremost.
A lot of us moms were listening to Dr. Laura 30 years ago on the radio. She had so many listeners and influenced so many women to stay home and raise their own kids. She'd skewer new mothers relentlessly for even thinking of going back to work, especially when the children were young! My how times have changed! 😮
I loved Dr. Laura. She helped women understand that stay at home was possible and not the impossibility or "lack of the best for your children" that was/is pushed in the media. The fact is that people can choose to live modestly/within their means.
It's so sad that women who want to stay home and raise their kids are looked down upon these days. You'll never get that time with your kids back. It's heartbreaking.
@@juliemoore6957 Seems Ramsey personalities always ask why the wife isn't working. Even if they have kids. Getting out of debt is important and can be done slowly or even postponed for a couple of years, but the kids are only babies once. You can never get those years back.
He's absolutely not listening to her at all. He sees what he sees and she needs to fall in line. If she sees something different, well that's her problem to fix. What I don't understand is how $60/hr job is less than working in a daycare? He's not into the wife making $60/hr, but she needs to stay in daycare? Daycare is a minimum or slightly above job, not good money at all.
@@juliegill9322 Not accurate. 60k a year isn't poverty. Double income families get divorced too. Gentlemen work harder and smarter. My daughter worked in a daycare center when she was a teenager. Her take away is that she would never put her children in day-care.
@@John3.36 idk. For a single person, maybe a couple. With 2 kids, next to impossible. A 2-bedroom apartment alone in Stamford, CT is anywhere between 2,200 - 2,800…that’s a conservative estimate.
Dude....let the wifey stay home. Cut out the daycare. Cut back to one vehicle let wifey work part time doing her lessons and let her be a home maker and take care of your kids. Women who genuinely WANT to home make are such a gem. And yes i toot my own horn cause i am a stay at home mother of two littles under 3 and i work part time at a family business. My husband is the primary bread winner and it works. We budgeted and in this hard economy we are steadily clawing out from we are making it work. Its possible. Let mama stay home. Let her love on your littles their only so small for so long. Why let some random stranger steal that time from you!?
Oh you're a stay-at-home mom who's telling this guy's wife that she can just sit on her ass and fart around on her phone pretending that she's taking care of kids for the vast majority of the day. Shocker...youre not biased at all eh? 😂
Why would you go to work just to pay for daycare? Why wouldn’t you stay home and raise your own kids? This doesn’t make sense. Also he needs to step up and support his family.
he said that his wife equated to that she was only working to pay for daycare not that was what was actually happening. in the clip he does say he showed her spreadsheets that showed her working was needed. I feel if its something she wants bcuz she wants it then she should communicate that, but I have a feeling Mommy is heavy influencing & making her feel bad for not being SAHM like she was.
He gets to have probably a job he sees as a calling with a non profit and she can't have her dream job. Non profits not only pay less the benefits are cut in half.
So he didn't even talk to his wife about what she wants. She is only giving advice. You don't have to act on it. Just because the MIL say's it, does not mean the wife want's it. He's making a big deal out of nothing.
Why doesn’t he know anything about what his wife wants?? He’s only assuming. He doesn’t even know if she wants to stay home. Maybe she just doesn’t want to work at a daycare anymore when the kids go to school. Communicate please
Almost always when the wife works that second wage goes to paying for child-care. It is more realistic to stay at home and raise your kids, rather than putting them into kid jail and out-source your children to being raised by a stranger with different values than your own.
Yep. We did the math. My salary would have covered daycare and all the other expenses that would be related to working. Might as well just be a SAHM. We saved a lot of money bc I cooked almost everyday.
Not sure of thier financial goals but it doesn't seem like he would support his wife staying at home even if he did have the extra money. I think its easier for him to blame the MIL's advice versus facing off with his wife saying I don't want this for you now or later. I don't agree with it.
He makes 60k in CT she gonna be working regardless she likes it or not or she can move down in house and car regardless she gonna work for another 4 to 5 years she can suck it grow up
@francestaylor9156 no it isn't he might be passionate about working a non profit and helping ppl she can work 3 to 5 years more so she can stay at home sometimes you have to work to solve a problem
I raise a family on a single income. My wife stays home. 5 kids. I make less than 100k. It's possible. It just isn't possible for the lifestyle he wants to live.
This dude makes me so grateful for my husband. I’m able to stay at home in a high cost of living area with our kids and have a “realistic and sustainable” lifestyle. When I first started staying home, he took on a part time job until he climbed the ladder and earned more at his primary job. This guy is such a child. I bet he makes her do a majority of the housework and childcare too.
He made me grateful for my husband too who let me stay home which is all I ever wanted. He had a job that involved quite a bit of travel but when he was off work/home he was completely free for days and sometimes even weeks at a time. We had a great family life with our daughters and the luxury of being alone together when the children were at school. I love the life he gave me. He loved the life I gave him. It was win/win and when you count our children win/win/win/win. I feel for his wife. His career is gentile poverty i.e. the kind of work a woman with a high earner husband takes when the baby goes to 1st grade. It isn't a job for a man with a wife and children to support. Kudos to your husband for making it happen.
I think the real issue here is this man doesn’t want to be a provider. He doesn’t want the burden of supporting his wife financially and would rather her do his job for him. I said what I said.
I was so blessed to have a husband who agreed with me that i should stay home with our kids. I loved being with them. There were times I definitely felt like i was going to go nuts, and our finances were tight, but looking back, I dont regret a thing. Now they are all in school full time and I have the privilege to teach at their school so i still get to be with them when they are off school.
“Working just to pay for day care” doesn’t make any sense. If that’s the only reason you’re working then why not don’t work and then you don’t need daycare? He’s just guessing. He doesn’t know what’s going on with his own wife?
Maybe he should be more gracious about a woman who has very valid life experience. It's their decision but her mom has experience to share. He's angry with his wife but staying at home is best for the kids. My daughter is an awesome nanny and i say staying at home is best for your kids.
He’s acting like the mother-in-law is evil, trying to take over decisions in their marriage. Yes, she has life experience that he totally disrespects because she wasn’t out there with a career and making money. But, it might also be a case that the daughter is telling her that she wants to stay home! And maybe her mother is actually listening to her and trying to help her find solutions - because the wife has tried to talk to him, and he shuts her down because he thinks he knows best what is good for her. Honestly, I wanted to punch him for his tone lol.
You can’t just steamroll over your partner’s wants and desires. “Here’s the math, we can’t afford it, therefore we can’t change.” That isn’t true. You can always find ways to adjust your lifestyle. It requires sacrifice and compromise. He just didn’t want to address it. Mother in law, who was aware of how her daughter was feeling was trying to suggest options. Of course thats going to enrage him because he doesn’t want to change. It’s easier to focus the blame on mother in law than address the real issue.
This discussion should have taken place prior to marriage. There’s no better person to raise your children than their mother. She may end up resenting her husband if she can’t stay home and raise their kids while they’re young. The husband doesn’t want to carry the financial burden. The wife could do work from home if need be.
If she feels like she works to only pay for daycare (which might very well be true!), they aren’t going to need to make drastic changes or lose the house etc. The math might very well work out.
I'm lucky, I didn't have to present a spreadsheet to my husband. I did the math while pregnant and said I'd be making $20/day if I paid for daycare. That's not worth running around stressed trying to get out the door every morning, dealing with the stress from work itself, and then coming home to do all the chores. Having time to cook instead of ordering take out will supplement that $100/week anyway lol yah this isn't a money or MIL issue. This guy is scared, understandably. The wife will need to be able to support him and know what he needs to feel secure. If you're on the fence, just try it. We wake up naturally at 7:30, I cook a big breakfast while they play, I spend the day cleaning and taking care of the kids. It can be monotonous and tiring, but then, for a dose of gratitude, I imagine sitting in my old cubicle missing my children.
This makes no sense! So the wife is currently with the kids now that they're in daycare but wants to be a SAHM once they move to school? What for? The kids would be in school so why does she need to be home? Maybe change to music teaching as a home business? Also, the amount of comments from women saying "he should change his job to earn more", "he should get a second job", "she has a right to her dream job of being a SAHM", etc. Just, no. You don't have a "right" - that is entitlement. In the same lens, what if the charity is what he feels a calling to? Does he not have a "right" to work his "dream job"? Has it occured to you that the husbands are also fathers that would like to spend time with their kids? Both partners need to communicate, plan together, and work out something that makes everyone happy-ish. No wonder divorce rates are high! And this is coming from a SAHM (with a business) with twin boys.
Learn to communicate ... openly and honestly, without emotions, resentments, judgments, feeling imposed upon. And shut out everyone else's considerations (opinions). It's not about them. It's about the couple that God joined together. Communicate, pray, and let God lead. When you're strong together, you'll be fine, and when you pray? God has solutions.
1. Why does the wife need to stay at home when the kids are in school? 2. Why doesn’t he actually know what his wife wants. 3. Why is he whining about potentially having to work harder to allow his wife to stay at home. Seems like she is going to the mom for advice because he’s not being a leader and handling his business 🤷🏻♀️
1 why is it our job so a girl can never work not everyone wants to be a “leader” in ur dumb words to struggle with one income so they can sit in a chair
@@xsgtxbigboy1655Actually, it is. IF husband are wife are on the same financial page and living within their means/modestly. 'Been there, done it. My little part time job (I worked at my kids' elementary as a playground aide) only became an issue when we were qualifying for a loan to buy a house--the lender wanted to see more income-to-debt ratio and my job made it. The reality is that there is paid daycare or (in some states) there is state-sponsored daycare. Many women prefer to work part time for paid daycare.
Merry Christmas 🎁 I'm glad you made this video it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $34k monthly and a good daughter full of love
Unfortunately, not all of us were financially literate early. I was 35 when I finally educated myself and started taking steps. I went from $176,000 in debt with zero savings or retirement to now, 2 years later, fully debt-free and over $1000,000 net worth. I know that doesn't SOUND like a lot, but I'm incredibly proud of it. Now I'm fast-tracking my wealth building (investing $400,000 annually) and don't owe a dime to anyone. It's a good feeling!
Making touch with financial advisors like Elizabeth Regina Nelson who can assist you restructure your portfolio, would be a very creative option. Personal financial management will be crucial to navigating the next difficult times
Stop letting your mother n law run your household. If your wife truly wants to stay at home make her verbally say it. Then you two need to determine if that's what you want to do together. If that's the case figure a way to accomplish it. Goodluck.
Sounds like he just doesn't want his wife to not work, regardless of the math. Daycare workers are so poorly paid I can't imagine she's making any money after paying for her kids spots. $60k/yr is enough if you are willing to live modestly. That's the most we have ever made and it's been fine. But I think he's got some lifestyle issues he's attached to and wants his wife to keep working so he can have them.
@@xsgtxbigboy1655Stay at home wives/mothers do not "sit at home." We keep up with the housework, shop when it is not busy, and are available for the husband/kids during the day. We have time to volunteer in our kids' classrooms or with their sports or club activities, and help them with homework or projects. Staying at home saves on daycare, transportation or auto maintenance costs, wardrobe/uniform budgets, and the occasional fast food lunch or coffee.
My husband works multiple jobs in order for me to stay home with the kids. He sounds like he doesn’t care what’s best for the kids or his wife he just wants to stay at that dead end job.
the wife wants to stay home at leisure: who does the endless house cleaning, washing kids clothes, checking homework, shopping and cooking. anyone who has never done has no clue how long it takes. who picks up kids to and from school?
Oh please I've met plenty and that is not the case you exaggerate some. I've met plenty that just sit on their asses most of the day sitting there with her doing taking selfies and indulging themselves massive amounts of time on trash book and tick tock😂.. and then around half the time when the husband gets home from working freaking 11:00 to 12 hour days he sees that the damn garbage has not been taken out and she expects him to do it because that's quote unquote a man's job and sometimes multitude of other chores that should have already been done and this is even during times when a child is old enough to understand and physically be able to do chores
You guys have the situation wrong. Wife works at a daycare now where she’s with her kids all day. Once they start school she wants to quit and stay home. What for? She’s home while kids are at school and husband is struggling to make ends meet??
The problem isn't your mother-in-law. The problem is that your wife expected a husband willing to support his family, so his kids would be raised by their mom, not minimum wage daycare workers who dont care about the majority of the kids. You're either too lazy or just not capable of doing that. So just admit that to your wife and mother-in-law and move on without the advice.
As an older mom that has lived a little, if there is a way and your wife is a good mom all couples should want a stay at home mom at minimum while the children are young. My youngest son I worked for my career and family but focused on my career and money, and I regret that for what I see in my adult son now. Compared to my other adult children. They are all amazing, but the confidence in himself and making mistakes or failing is just not an option for him. He puts so much pressure on himself and it’s hard to realize and not have as much impact anymore, it’s just too late. And I know it’s because he felt that pressure from very early on. Because I nor his dad didnt have time to help or fix things with him. We always expected him to be good, get great grades, no excuses. And he did. But at a cost. There is always time to make more money, you only have a few years to make a impactful presence in your children’s lives. As they age it becomes about how much you respect each other because we as parents are suppose to teach them to leave us and build their own, not control them forever. So if you don’t build respectful relationships early it only gets harder, on everyone.
I genuinely don't know if "just abandon your career and get a 6 figure job!" is amazing advice. It's just a simple numbers game to figure out that this isn't possible for everyone. I get the feeling that a lot of the time their advice is "Just make top 15-20% money". Well that won't work 80% of the time. Also, maybe I'm just really stupid, what does the wife need to be at home for once the kids start school? They'll be gone most of the day. I could see staying home for the first 4-5 years way more than I can see staying home for the next 10-15 years.
But he COULD make more if he got out of non-profit and went to work for a business. Non-profit pay is crap. And what will his wife do? She'll run their home. Homes don't run themselves. It makes for a totally different home life when shopping gets done during the day, and house work, and errands, and appointments, and business calls, and bills paid, and laundry done, and food cooked - all the things that have to happen. If that stuff happens during the day, the whole family benefits by easier nights and weekends. And the truth is that if mom does go back to work, the vast majority of that stuff falls on HER, in addition to the job. Hardly ever do dads take on a significant amount of this stuff, not even because they are bad guys, but because their brains don't work that way. Mom will fill out the school paperwork, sign the permission slips, make the kids medical appointments (and take off of work to take them there), take the calls from the school if the kids gets sick/in trouble, whatever. Men just have no idea how much it takes to run a house because hardly any man has ever done it.
He's definitely not happy with the response he got. It's ok to be mad at your in-laws but to admit and deal with the fact that you are truly upset and mad with your spouse is a new level of feelings that this caller doesn't seem ready to deal with.
He has no RESPECT for stay at home mom ( mil) and sums her up as a waste making the statement that she never have wrk a 40 hr work week a day in her life
Translation: my wife doesn't work and we can't afford to live on my salary alone. I wish James the best in resolving this, but it is not going to be easy.
His wife currently works two jobs (music lessons and daycare). It's more that she doesn't want to work the daycare job once the kids are in school. John and George are right, though. No matter what they decide to do, they need to get on the same page. Like you said, it doesn't seem like that will be easy unless they are both completely honest and willing to look at the situation from the other person's perspective.
@@linjubar Right, but she is working right now to pay for daycare. The discussion is about what to do once the kids are out of daycare. Although, honestly, if all her pay check is doing is paying for daycare, then why isn't she at home now?
Easier than most people think. Wife helps keep costs down by not eating out. Take part time serving job two or three nights in addition to main income. Can be done.
What’s wrong is this caller thinks a stay at home wife doesn’t work & that is not a job. Sounds like this guy doesn’t know what his wife thinks because they are definitely not talking or planning together. You give things up if you are gonna live on a one income paycheck you don’t have to have everything. Man people make life so hard & they make it look so miserable half the time!
Don’t have kids if you have someone else raise them 99% of the time. How many hours are you having others care for your children vs you? Not counting them home asleep at night?
Wild to a small extent I do empathize with your overall point, however that's not reality. In this day and age and even throughout the freaking 80s because my mother never got any taxpayer help, white oh wow go figure how about that white privilege eh? ,.... this is an age where both parents have to work unless either the female or the male actually has a career that is high enough to where he or she can take care of the whole family. Those situations are extremely rare even in the United States of America by the way
My guess is, this woman is working a full time job in a daycare, and coming home to another full time job keeping up her house, cooking, and raising her kids, while he works unpaid overtime at a job he loves, that makes him feel important. She is probably exhausted and running out of steam and trying to let him know that she simply can't do two full time jobs anymore. His spreadsheet may show the money situation, but it doesn't cover the state of his wife's body, mind, and soul. Something has got to give.
My wife would love to stay home, but she kept working and now that our child is in school it paid off because we have two solid incomes and lots of extra cash to save for retirement and enjoy life.
She wants to stay home when they are not in school. She's working in a daycare and paying for another daycare to take care of her kids. Summer is coming, they'll be home
I have a wife who is stay at home.
We have two kids.
I am at median household income.
Finances are tight, but it works.
Would more money be nice? Sure, but there are a lot of advantages to having a housewife, too.
These guys gave fantastic advice.
I stay home and educate our 5 children. I couldn't be more grateful to my husband for how hard he works for our family! He is amazing and an incredible blessing. We do without a lot of things but we have so much more!
God bless you, for allowing your wife the luxury of raising your children. I stayed home and I treasure it like nothing else in my lifetime. I sacrificed nothing. It was what I wanted most in the world. My husband's job demanded a lot of travel and when he was away I held down the fort. It wasn't bad at all though. It was kind of cozy when it was just me and the girls. When he came home, he was able to leave work behind and be there 100% for us. I couldn't have imagined a better life.
My husband stays home. Huge blessing. I get to go to work stress free.
I'm not saying this is never true, but most of the time you can afford the mom to stay home it's just a matter of what you're willing to sacrifice: eating out, vacations, what state you live in etc, etc.
I don’t think this went how he thought it would..
Now there’s tuna with a taste for lion blood
She is working at a daycare to pay for daycare? And nothing more? If thats true, she could stay home and watch the kids. As a mom who worked in daycare to earn an income, i still cant wrap my head around working in daycare to only pay for daycare
It indicates he is either lying, exaggerating, or completely unaware of her situation.
That’s the part that didn’t make any sense to me. If she’s already contributing net zero to the house, what’s the difference?
I think the caller said that was his wife's perception, but he disagreed with it. That's what I got.
He just doesn’t want her to stay home. He doesn’t want to carry the financial weight and he needs to be honest about that. He should’ve been before marriage but here we are
I agree.
I honestly don’t think it is a wise desire on her part and would be fair to the husband. To have to carry a whole household on your back in today’s economy? This man is on the fast track to stress related heath issues
@@WhyThisWhyNowit’s doable, if you make sacrifices to not live luxuriously like is sold to Americans. You don’t need new phones every 2 years, you don’t need a big fancy house, you don’t need brand new cars that you can’t afford. You don’t need every subscription out there. You make sacrifices for your children and family, or don’t have them.
This day and age the default assumption is both people in a couple will work, so if she wanted to stay home she should have been clear about that before marriage.
@@WhyThisWhyNowjust till the kids are in at least first grade.
The Indignation in his attitude towards his wife is unsettling. This is probably not the only area in their relationship where this shows up. He’s treating her like a parent to a child. The well being in his home should be a top priority. Taking a $60k job working for a nonprofit is a luxury he can’t afford. He’s in his peak earning years, he should be setting his family up for the future.
Yes, Connecticut is not a cheap place to live.
@inspiredgardener You said what I'm thinking. He is very patronizing towards his wife. It's like marriage is for his convenience and nothing else.
@@theresa78201they should move to a cheaper state
Tells you a lot about their relationship when asked about what his wife wants and he responds “I think so…?” 😒
Right, have you actually asked her?
Sounds like she's told him several times and he's brushing it off and blaming the mother-in-law.
Having a stay home mom is the best thing kids can have.
True. And it takes a ton of sacrifice. Luckily, I was able to do a little work from home to make ends meet but not ev everyone can.
But only if both want her to. If he doesn't want a one income family it's going to cause resentment. They both have to agree on it for it to work. And not all women want to be stay at home mothers. I certainly didnt and both my kids are doing great.
@@jasminesuarez8358 Well I hope your mother, MIL, sister or SIL was the one watching your babies while you were working. You can't always trust them but at least you know one way or another. Google "Baby, daycare, bite marks." You will see countless babies each covered in countless bite marks. Of course siblings bite too but when Mom is at home at least she was there to comfort her infant.
@@jasminesuarez8358they're doing great on the outside, they appear to be doing okay. But you didn't see what might have happened to them in daycare, you didn't feel the loneliness and sense of abandonment they might have felt, as you dropped them off so you could work.
👏
Late 2019/ early 2020 I came home full time when my husband’s gross salary was around $50k. He now makes $60k gross, with a max earning potential of $70k. We have actually saved money with me being home. We eat out significantly less, our grocery costs are less because I cook from scratch, and we’re both less stressed. If you make $60k doing what you do - you could technically go work elsewhere when they pay you more. Wanting to be a SAHM/house wife is not a bad thing. But the budget has to budge to allow it.
He's picking his job over what is best for his family and what his wife wants.
She can also start a business from home. It´s 2024 and those babies will be better growing up with their mom.
I agree. You can't pay people to love your children. He should look for opportunities to make more money for his family. She should look for opportunities to work at home which could include starting a home business. Even if she makes less, she will net more when you take in consideration the expenses of working outside the home.
She is working just to pay daycare. 😢. I worked part time on the weekends as a waitress in order to stay home with my children. Three nights a week was our compromise.
I know some nurses who work 3 days a week on the weekend for full-time pay to be at home with their children. They have no weekend, and work long shifts, but then again the children aren't in daycare either.
If your wife wants to stay at home have the discussion noted on the call and try to figure out how it can be worked out. My wife and I did that when our children were young.we had to sacrifice on some nice things but it was one of the best decisions we ever made.
Way to go.
I think the problem is that he doesn’t want her to stay home because he will have to make changes👍🏾🇬🇧🇯🇲
Why should she be the stay at home? He could stay at home while she keeps the family. Oh, wait…….
@@lulabellegnostic8402No, God designed women to be the caregivers, to nourish the young.
60k at a non-profit in the position he is in? He could be making more than he and his wife are making now with a single job change.
Maybe the wife can do a job change then why do yall love women so bad you want man to work there life away so yall can enjoy ur life lmaooo
Once you have children charity starts at home.
I’d say thank you for the advice & move on. And discuss those issues with the wife & you both agree on a plan.
If his wife really wants to stay home maybe she should figure out how many students she needs to pick up to match what she’s making after paying for her kids to be in daycare and other work related expenses. Pick up the students and then quit. If she taps into the homeschooling market she could probably teach while both kids are in school. Music teachers are had to find in my area and both of my kids had to wait months to get off of waitlist. I bet it’s very doable in CT too.
$60k is kind of rough in CT.
Yes, for four people.
He needs a better job. That is the kind of work a woman with a high earner husband takes when the baby goes to 1st grade.
The comment section will be all over the place on this one.
Some will say the wife needs to work while raising kids.
Others will say that raising kids is the most important job of a parent, and the wife should stay home to raise kids.
I have my opinion but that doesn't matter. All that counts is the next paragraph.
If you are going to have children, do so with someone who shares your values. Both Dad and Mom work outside the home or one stays home while the other works outside the home. It really doesn't matter what you choose as long as both people are on the same page and share similar values. It is as simple as that.
If he's only making 60 grand a year is there an alternative?
What are you, google AI?
Move and have a cheaper area@@GoblinGobblerGobbles
Once the wife stops working she won't work again.
Here's the thing: most women are not told the truth about how drastically their feelings are going to change about motherhood until AFTER they've gone through the experience of growing and then birthing that small baby, and then having to hand that tiny baby over to someone else to watch, love on, get a good majority of their firsts and the mother's get the leftovers and the recap of the baby's life. Most women do not understand how deeply in love they will be with their babies until they're holding them in their arms and then the count down begins to when they have to part with that tiny little creation.
If you can't communicate with your spouse call in so they can guess it out.
Having 4 grown kids, I can tell you I wish that I would have stayed home instead of worked while they were growing up. Every time I talked about it my husband would say something like “ if that’s what you think you need to do then I can get a second job”. He did not say that with sincerity. I resent him for that even now.
Don't you wish you had called his bluff and offered to help him with his resume?
Believe it or not, making an income comes with expenses, besides daycare. Gas, car insurance, processed or pre made food, dry cleaning, possibly house cleaning, etc, not to mention unpaid work time in the form of commuting and whatever you have to spend to make up for your burn out. It's amazing how far money can go when you have the time and head space of having one person devoted to the household only.
This is excellent advise many of us need to have. Bravo gentlemen. 👏
I see him saying my wife will never think this way except for her mom. Why do men think woman may not have their own dreams. Stay at home moms work dam hard. He talks like his mother in law had a free ride and has no idea. He has a point the economy has changed and two people working is more the norm but it makes it harder to be involved with your kids and does he expect his wife to work full time and do all the cooking and cleaning and stay on top of kids mainly by herself. I bet she does now and he does not see it.
James listen if your concerns are your mother in law then talk to your wife and no matter what set boundaries.
I do 60k in CA. Wife stays home with our child. It's not impossible. People like their car payments and subscriptions.
We did that in California for years. The media makes it appear impossible. I managed to land a part time job at my son's elementary which helped us qualify to buy a house--it also enabled me to be home with him since I worked within his schedule. We live modestly and own used cars. We are not designer anything and cut cable years ago. We live good lives and are content.
Same. We lived on a single income in California in a two bedroom apartment. I worked off and on throughout the years, but he was the primary wage earner by far. That said, I don’t recommend raising kids like we did. Buy the house FIRST and both work and save until he can comfortably afford to at least pay all the mortgage himself until you try for kids. That way if she ends up needing to stay home, it’s an option.
My wife wants to be a stay at home, but currently is a nurse. I made the deal with her that once the house is payed off, she can stay home… Gotta be on the same page
"My wife wants to be a stay at home,"
Oh, you mean she wants to be a FULL TIME wife and mother, instead of part time?
Wow that's awful
My heart breaks for women in marriages whose husbands do not understand their children have a RIGHT to their mother and that it is a grave sin for a husband to fail to provide for his family. If you don’t want to be a husband and father then at least have the dignity not to marry and put your wife and children in this situation. Want to have your cake and eat it, too.
She’s going to miss out on the kids growing up. They grow up so fast. I asked my son if he’d rather our family be rich with me working or have me be a stay at home mom and he picked me staying at home. Kids will ALWAYS want a loving parent first and foremost.
@ she works 3 days a week, i work 7 days 70 hours a week. House will be paid off in less than 10 years. You’re an 🤡
A lot of us moms were listening to Dr. Laura 30 years ago on the radio. She had so many listeners and influenced so many women to stay home and raise their own kids. She'd skewer new mothers relentlessly for even thinking of going back to work, especially when the children were young! My how times have changed! 😮
I loved Dr. Laura. She helped women understand that stay at home was possible and not the impossibility or "lack of the best for your children" that was/is pushed in the media. The fact is that people can choose to live modestly/within their means.
It's so sad that women who want to stay home and raise their kids are looked down upon these days. You'll never get that time with your kids back. It's heartbreaking.
@@juliemoore6957 Seems Ramsey personalities always ask why the wife isn't working. Even if they have kids. Getting out of debt is important and can be done slowly or even postponed for a couple of years, but the kids are only babies once. You can never get those years back.
@@juliemoore6957Hun, I was looked down upon 30 years ago. I have no regrets giving 💯 to my children and late husband.
@@windsongshfExcellent point!
He's absolutely not listening to her at all. He sees what he sees and she needs to fall in line. If she sees something different, well that's her problem to fix. What I don't understand is how $60/hr job is less than working in a daycare? He's not into the wife making $60/hr, but she needs to stay in daycare? Daycare is a minimum or slightly above job, not good money at all.
No mom has ever regretted staying home and raising her children. Man up dude! Do what you need to do to make it happen.
Not true. Wish it were.
Not accurate. Divorced and living in poverty isn't a good thing. Ladies, keep working.
@@juliegill9322 Not accurate. 60k a year isn't poverty. Double income families get divorced too. Gentlemen work harder and smarter.
My daughter worked in a daycare center when she was a teenager. Her take away is that she would never put her children in day-care.
@@juliegill9322only part time, if possible. Our Kids need us there, especially when they're young.
I loved being a SAHM. My hiusband is a great provider and my children were raised by their parents and not strangers.
As someone who lives about 30 mins from Stamford, CT (that’s where the caller is from), 2 adults and one kid living on 60k is basically impossible.
Two kids
@ Yikes. Even worse.
It is possible, you just have to lower your standard of living.
@@John3.36 idk. For a single person, maybe a couple. With 2 kids, next to impossible. A 2-bedroom apartment alone in Stamford, CT is anywhere between 2,200 - 2,800…that’s a conservative estimate.
@@Times397 May have to do some research, come up with a budget, downsize to one car, etc.
Non-profit is generally a vow of poverty. Marriage and family on 60k, in the East Coast region; that's poverty. He has to make a change.
Exactly, they call it gentile poverty. It is a great job for a woman with a high earner spouse. He is being a big baby.
He lives in Stamford Connecticut. That is a very pricey place.
Dude....let the wifey stay home. Cut out the daycare. Cut back to one vehicle let wifey work part time doing her lessons and let her be a home maker and take care of your kids. Women who genuinely WANT to home make are such a gem.
And yes i toot my own horn cause i am a stay at home mother of two littles under 3 and i work part time at a family business. My husband is the primary bread winner and it works. We budgeted and in this hard economy we are steadily clawing out from we are making it work. Its possible. Let mama stay home. Let her love on your littles their only so small for so long. Why let some random stranger steal that time from you!?
Oh you're a stay-at-home mom who's telling this guy's wife that she can just sit on her ass and fart around on her phone pretending that she's taking care of kids for the vast majority of the day. Shocker...youre not biased at all eh? 😂
Why would you go to work just to pay for daycare? Why wouldn’t you stay home and raise your own kids? This doesn’t make sense. Also he needs to step up and support his family.
he said that his wife equated to that she was only working to pay for daycare not that was what was actually happening. in the clip he does say he showed her spreadsheets that showed her working was needed. I feel if its something she wants bcuz she wants it then she should communicate that, but I have a feeling Mommy is heavy influencing & making her feel bad for not being SAHM like she was.
He gets to have probably a job he sees as a calling with a non profit and she can't have her dream job. Non profits not only pay less the benefits are cut in half.
So he didn't even talk to his wife about what she wants.
She is only giving advice. You don't have to act on it.
Just because the MIL say's it, does not mean the wife want's it.
He's making a big deal out of nothing.
He and the wife never learned how to communicate.
I think the wife wants it too
Solid advice. Well done guys.
Any of us could have given the same advice.
Why doesn’t he know anything about what his wife wants?? He’s only assuming. He doesn’t even know if she wants to stay home. Maybe she just doesn’t want to work at a daycare anymore when the kids go to school. Communicate please
Daycares are so hard to trust i see where shes coming from
Almost always when the wife works that second wage goes to paying for child-care. It is more realistic to stay at home and raise your kids, rather than putting them into kid jail and out-source your children to being raised by a stranger with different values than your own.
Amen!
Yep. We did the math. My salary would have covered daycare and all the other expenses that would be related to working. Might as well just be a SAHM. We saved a lot of money bc I cooked almost everyday.
Not sure of thier financial goals but it doesn't seem like he would support his wife staying at home even if he did have the extra money. I think its easier for him to blame the MIL's advice versus facing off with his wife saying I don't want this for you now or later. I don't agree with it.
You're right. He doesn't want her to be home period.
He didn’t even ask his wife what she wanted he just assuming😂
He makes 60k in CT she gonna be working regardless she likes it or not or she can move down in house and car regardless she gonna work for another 4 to 5 years she can suck it grow up
But his concerns are valid. They can't all survive on his income alone.
He needs to do what’s best for his family, which is looking for a job out of CT. She’s a nurse. She can literally work anywhere.
@francestaylor9156 no it isn't he might be passionate about working a non profit and helping ppl she can work 3 to 5 years more so she can stay at home sometimes you have to work to solve a problem
@@Tashas_Travelsthey could if they moved to a more affordable state
Sound advice, that's exactly what this couple needs to do.
I raise a family on a single income. My wife stays home. 5 kids. I make less than 100k. It's possible. It just isn't possible for the lifestyle he wants to live.
This dude makes me so grateful for my husband. I’m able to stay at home in a high cost of living area with our kids and have a “realistic and sustainable” lifestyle.
When I first started staying home, he took on a part time job until he climbed the ladder and earned more at his primary job.
This guy is such a child. I bet he makes her do a majority of the housework and childcare too.
He made me grateful for my husband too who let me stay home which is all I ever wanted. He had a job that involved quite a bit of travel but when he was off work/home he was completely free for days and sometimes even weeks at a time. We had a great family life with our daughters and the luxury of being alone together when the children were at school. I love the life he gave me. He loved the life I gave him. It was win/win and when you count our children win/win/win/win.
I feel for his wife. His career is gentile poverty i.e. the kind of work a woman with a high earner husband takes when the baby goes to 1st grade. It isn't a job for a man with a wife and children to support.
Kudos to your husband for making it happen.
I think the real issue here is this man doesn’t want to be a provider. He doesn’t want the burden of supporting his wife financially and would rather her do his job for him. I said what I said.
I was so blessed to have a husband who agreed with me that i should stay home with our kids. I loved being with them. There were times I definitely felt like i was going to go nuts, and our finances were tight, but looking back, I dont regret a thing. Now they are all in school full time and I have the privilege to teach at their school so i still get to be with them when they are off school.
Can he stay home too if that’s his dream as well ?
Nah women don't like providing she just wants the easys way out
They would say ur a bum and need to work 80 hours a week if a guy said that
Nah. He’s a man, so he deserves to be the work horse of the family!
No.
😂😂
“Working just to pay for day care” doesn’t make any sense. If that’s the only reason you’re working then why not don’t work and then you don’t need daycare? He’s just guessing. He doesn’t know what’s going on with his own wife?
Maybe he should be more gracious about a woman who has very valid life experience. It's their decision but her mom has experience to share. He's angry with his wife but staying at home is best for the kids. My daughter is an awesome nanny and i say staying at home is best for your kids.
He’s acting like the mother-in-law is evil, trying to take over decisions in their marriage. Yes, she has life experience that he totally disrespects because she wasn’t out there with a career and making money. But, it might also be a case that the daughter is telling her that she wants to stay home! And maybe her mother is actually listening to her and trying to help her find solutions - because the wife has tried to talk to him, and he shuts her down because he thinks he knows best what is good for her.
Honestly, I wanted to punch him for his tone lol.
You can’t just steamroll over your partner’s wants and desires. “Here’s the math, we can’t afford it, therefore we can’t change.” That isn’t true. You can always find ways to adjust your lifestyle. It requires sacrifice and compromise. He just didn’t want to address it. Mother in law, who was aware of how her daughter was feeling was trying to suggest options. Of course thats going to enrage him because he doesn’t want to change. It’s easier to focus the blame on mother in law than address the real issue.
This discussion should have taken place prior to marriage. There’s no better person to raise your children than their mother. She may end up resenting her husband if she can’t stay home and raise their kids while they’re young. The husband doesn’t want to carry the financial burden. The wife could do work from home if need be.
It sounds like this guy totally wants to shut down his wife staying home & sees no value in it because of his pride.
He wasn't expecting the answer he got.
No ad in the middle..ok I'll keep listening
If she feels like she works to only pay for daycare (which might very well be true!), they aren’t going to need to make drastic changes or lose the house etc. The math might very well work out.
I'm lucky, I didn't have to present a spreadsheet to my husband. I did the math while pregnant and said I'd be making $20/day if I paid for daycare. That's not worth running around stressed trying to get out the door every morning, dealing with the stress from work itself, and then coming home to do all the chores. Having time to cook instead of ordering take out will supplement that $100/week anyway lol yah this isn't a money or MIL issue. This guy is scared, understandably. The wife will need to be able to support him and know what he needs to feel secure.
If you're on the fence, just try it. We wake up naturally at 7:30, I cook a big breakfast while they play, I spend the day cleaning and taking care of the kids. It can be monotonous and tiring, but then, for a dose of gratitude, I imagine sitting in my old cubicle missing my children.
This makes no sense! So the wife is currently with the kids now that they're in daycare but wants to be a SAHM once they move to school? What for? The kids would be in school so why does she need to be home? Maybe change to music teaching as a home business?
Also, the amount of comments from women saying "he should change his job to earn more", "he should get a second job", "she has a right to her dream job of being a SAHM", etc. Just, no. You don't have a "right" - that is entitlement. In the same lens, what if the charity is what he feels a calling to? Does he not have a "right" to work his "dream job"? Has it occured to you that the husbands are also fathers that would like to spend time with their kids?
Both partners need to communicate, plan together, and work out something that makes everyone happy-ish.
No wonder divorce rates are high!
And this is coming from a SAHM (with a business) with twin boys.
Learn to communicate ... openly and honestly, without emotions, resentments, judgments, feeling imposed upon. And shut out everyone else's considerations (opinions). It's not about them. It's about the couple that God joined together. Communicate, pray, and let God lead. When you're strong together, you'll be fine, and when you pray? God has solutions.
1. Why does the wife need to stay at home when the kids are in school? 2. Why doesn’t he actually know what his wife wants. 3. Why is he whining about potentially having to work harder to allow his wife to stay at home. Seems like she is going to the mom for advice because he’s not being a leader and handling his business 🤷🏻♀️
Kids are not in school. They are in daycare, which she works for to pay it. Makes no sense if she wants to be a full-time mom.
Walking wallet issues. They both gaslit him into something he doesn't want.
1 why is it our job so a girl can never work not everyone wants to be a “leader” in ur dumb words to struggle with one income so they can sit in a chair
This isn’t 1970 one income ain’t enough
@@xsgtxbigboy1655Actually, it is. IF husband are wife are on the same financial page and living within their means/modestly.
'Been there, done it. My little part time job (I worked at my kids' elementary as a playground aide) only became an issue when we were qualifying for a loan to buy a house--the lender wanted to see more income-to-debt ratio and my job made it. The reality is that there is paid daycare or (in some states) there is state-sponsored daycare. Many women prefer to work part time for paid daycare.
This dude needs a higher income either way. 60k not getting it done
The wife should stay home and educate the children. Raise your kids
Home office business, thats what my son does , hes in Montana now , and got rhe wife doing work at home job as well gotta be open to options
I am blessed with work from home. I am training my son.
Merry Christmas 🎁 I'm glad you made this video it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $34k monthly and a good daughter full of love
Good to hear ❤
My advice to everyone is that saving is great but investment is the key to be successful imagine investing $15,000 and received $472,700.
Unfortunately, not all of us were financially literate early. I was 35 when I finally educated myself and started taking steps. I went from $176,000 in debt with zero savings or retirement to now, 2 years later, fully debt-free and over $1000,000 net worth. I know that doesn't SOUND like a lot, but I'm incredibly proud of it. Now I'm fast-tracking my wealth building (investing $400,000 annually) and don't owe a dime to anyone. It's a good feeling!
Making touch with financial advisors like Elizabeth Regina Nelson who can assist you restructure your portfolio, would be a very creative option. Personal financial management will be crucial to navigating the next difficult times
Thanks to Mrs. Elizabeth Regina Nelsen's time in my life, which had a profound impact on me.
Stop letting your mother n law run your household. If your wife truly wants to stay at home make her verbally say it. Then you two need to determine if that's what you want to do together. If that's the case figure a way to accomplish it. Goodluck.
If his wife wants to let his mother control her and act like she’s still a child, this will end in divorce. Counseling won’t help if she won’t change.
@barbararepko4824 we don't know if she just said something
Sounds like he just doesn't want his wife to not work, regardless of the math. Daycare workers are so poorly paid I can't imagine she's making any money after paying for her kids spots. $60k/yr is enough if you are willing to live modestly. That's the most we have ever made and it's been fine. But I think he's got some lifestyle issues he's attached to and wants his wife to keep working so he can have them.
This ain’t 1970 60 is not enough for a family and someone to sit at home
$60 is only a dream for some house holds.
@@annbow406460 is rich if you're used to 40.
I agree👍🏾🇬🇧🇯🇲
@@xsgtxbigboy1655Stay at home wives/mothers do not "sit at home." We keep up with the housework, shop when it is not busy, and are available for the husband/kids during the day. We have time to volunteer in our kids' classrooms or with their sports or club activities, and help them with homework or projects. Staying at home saves on daycare, transportation or auto maintenance costs, wardrobe/uniform budgets, and the occasional fast food lunch or coffee.
Do these callers ever worry about being exposed going public with their personal matters.
The internet is a big place
My husband works multiple jobs in order for me to stay home with the kids. He sounds like he doesn’t care what’s best for the kids or his wife he just wants to stay at that dead end job.
Out of curiosity, you think your husband working multiple jobs is a good thing?
the wife wants to stay home at leisure: who does the endless house cleaning, washing kids clothes, checking homework, shopping and cooking. anyone who has never done has no clue how long it takes. who picks up kids to and from school?
The school bus lmao!
Oh please I've met plenty and that is not the case you exaggerate some. I've met plenty that just sit on their asses most of the day sitting there with her doing taking selfies and indulging themselves massive amounts of time on trash book and tick tock😂.. and then around half the time when the husband gets home from working freaking 11:00 to 12 hour days he sees that the damn garbage has not been taken out and she expects him to do it because that's quote unquote a man's job and sometimes multitude of other chores that should have already been done and this is even during times when a child is old enough to understand and physically be able to do chores
@@motoryzenthat's not usually the case
@@amberrose1108 sure keep telling yourself that simp..lol..
If Stamford CT is their true location, they need a much higher level of income than his salary and a few hours of music lessons.
Who cares that she gives advice? Who said you have to take it?
Alemio cross chain AI combo is what sets it apart for me. Time to join the presale ASAP.
You guys have the situation wrong. Wife works at a daycare now where she’s with her kids all day. Once they start school she wants to quit and stay home. What for? She’s home while kids are at school and husband is struggling to make ends meet??
Both the guys were like “ oh dear”
The problem isn't your mother-in-law. The problem is that your wife expected a husband willing to support his family, so his kids would be raised by their mom, not minimum wage daycare workers who dont care about the majority of the kids. You're either too lazy or just not capable of doing that. So just admit that to your wife and mother-in-law and move on without the advice.
There's no communication here.. Lololol
As an older mom that has lived a little, if there is a way and your wife is a good mom all couples should want a stay at home mom at minimum while the children are young. My youngest son I worked for my career and family but focused on my career and money, and I regret that for what I see in my adult son now. Compared to my other adult children. They are all amazing, but the confidence in himself and making mistakes or failing is just not an option for him. He puts so much pressure on himself and it’s hard to realize and not have as much impact anymore, it’s just too late. And I know it’s because he felt that pressure from very early on. Because I nor his dad didnt have time to help or fix things with him. We always expected him to be good, get great grades, no excuses. And he did. But at a cost. There is always time to make more money, you only have a few years to make a impactful presence in your children’s lives. As they age it becomes about how much you respect each other because we as parents are suppose to teach them to leave us and build their own, not control them forever. So if you don’t build respectful relationships early it only gets harder, on everyone.
I genuinely don't know if "just abandon your career and get a 6 figure job!" is amazing advice. It's just a simple numbers game to figure out that this isn't possible for everyone. I get the feeling that a lot of the time their advice is "Just make top 15-20% money". Well that won't work 80% of the time. Also, maybe I'm just really stupid, what does the wife need to be at home for once the kids start school? They'll be gone most of the day. I could see staying home for the first 4-5 years way more than I can see staying home for the next 10-15 years.
But he COULD make more if he got out of non-profit and went to work for a business. Non-profit pay is crap. And what will his wife do? She'll run their home. Homes don't run themselves. It makes for a totally different home life when shopping gets done during the day, and house work, and errands, and appointments, and business calls, and bills paid, and laundry done, and food cooked - all the things that have to happen. If that stuff happens during the day, the whole family benefits by easier nights and weekends. And the truth is that if mom does go back to work, the vast majority of that stuff falls on HER, in addition to the job. Hardly ever do dads take on a significant amount of this stuff, not even because they are bad guys, but because their brains don't work that way. Mom will fill out the school paperwork, sign the permission slips, make the kids medical appointments (and take off of work to take them there), take the calls from the school if the kids gets sick/in trouble, whatever. Men just have no idea how much it takes to run a house because hardly any man has ever done it.
“She’ll run the home “😂😂😂 if u hate men just say that yall bunch of bums
John forgot to ask him if his wife was safe
He's definitely not happy with the response he got. It's ok to be mad at your in-laws but to admit and deal with the fact that you are truly upset and mad with your spouse is a new level of feelings that this caller doesn't seem ready to deal with.
Sounds like they really aren't able to talk about money. He's just guessing as he only gets snippets from his wife.
Dude works for a “medium sized non-profit” and wonders what’s up.
He has no RESPECT for stay at home mom ( mil) and sums her up as a waste making the statement that she never have wrk a 40 hr work week a day in her life
I guess they didn’t discuss this before marriage and having kids 🤦🏽♀️
Translation: my wife doesn't work and we can't afford to live on my salary alone. I wish James the best in resolving this, but it is not going to be easy.
His wife currently works two jobs (music lessons and daycare). It's more that she doesn't want to work the daycare job once the kids are in school. John and George are right, though. No matter what they decide to do, they need to get on the same page. Like you said, it doesn't seem like that will be easy unless they are both completely honest and willing to look at the situation from the other person's perspective.
Wait. If the kids are out of daycare and in school, why would she need to stay home while they’re at school all day?
So many people have listening problems. They are not in school.
@@linjubar Right, but she is working right now to pay for daycare. The discussion is about what to do once the kids are out of daycare. Although, honestly, if all her pay check is doing is paying for daycare, then why isn't she at home now?
Happy wife happy life stop making everything a conspiracy theory😂😂😂
@@linjubarI don't think we have the listning problem,the discussion was regarding when they finished day care and went to school.
So their advice is to let her stay home and he has to figure out how to make more money? Got it.
Bam! Great jobs guys!
How did John DO that 😦😆🕐?! 0:29
Easier than most people think. Wife helps keep costs down by not eating out. Take part time serving job two or three nights in addition to main income. Can be done.
This dude has a weird talking cadence
He sounds like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.
Speaks like a liberal Democrat. 🏳️🌈
He speaks like a liberal Democrat 🏳️🌈
@@blakeharrison3972 He speaks like a liberal 🏳️🌈
Mr. Peabody
I understand where he is coming from
He has 2 small kids probably needs the wife to work and help out
Agreed. He's only making 60K a year.
No! They need to move to.a more affordable area
Same all over the world dude. I had this BS 20yrs ago.
Many women love to have a housewife daughter just to go hanging out together during the day. That’s my mom’s dream 😣
What’s wrong is this caller thinks a stay at home wife doesn’t work & that is not a job.
Sounds like this guy doesn’t know what his wife thinks because they are definitely not talking or planning together.
You give things up if you are gonna live on a one income paycheck you don’t have to have everything.
Man people make life so hard & they make it look so miserable half the time!
Don’t have kids if you have someone else raise them 99% of the time. How many hours are you having others care for your children vs you? Not counting them home asleep at night?
Wild to a small extent I do empathize with your overall point, however that's not reality. In this day and age and even throughout the freaking 80s because my mother never got any taxpayer help, white oh wow go figure how about that white privilege eh? ,.... this is an age where both parents have to work unless either the female or the male actually has a career that is high enough to where he or she can take care of the whole family. Those situations are extremely rare even in the United States of America by the way
My guess is, this woman is working a full time job in a daycare, and coming home to another full time job keeping up her house, cooking, and raising her kids, while he works unpaid overtime at a job he loves, that makes him feel important. She is probably exhausted and running out of steam and trying to let him know that she simply can't do two full time jobs anymore. His spreadsheet may show the money situation, but it doesn't cover the state of his wife's body, mind, and soul. Something has got to give.
My wife would love to stay home, but she kept working and now that our child is in school it paid off because we have two solid incomes and lots of extra cash to save for retirement and enjoy life.
LOL if the kids are at school why does the wife want stay at home
She wants to stay home when they are not in school. She's working in a daycare and paying for another daycare to take care of her kids. Summer is coming, they'll be home
There is something beautiful about being available to assist in school events that working moms can't.
she's probably wanted to stay home the whole time but husband won't let her.
@nicolcacola nah the wife is just lazy. Like most women. Cleaning and home life isn't that tough
Day care is not school. If she is working just to pay day care, then she can stay home to be with her children who are under 6-years old.