BLACK men and the Black community| The Standard | the discussion
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
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Black men: black women need to choose better and vet men better
To bm: how do you vet bm and what qualifies as a good bm
Also bm: i dont know
Girl!
Literally
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I....🙆🏻♀️...you just can't make this shjt up.
I see exactly what Cyn is saying and it’s not dangerous. What’s dangerous is that Kyle is a attorney and whenever there is time to put the spotlight on BM they have a tendency to get sensitive because the ones claiming to be good hasn’t done much to come against this problem. They hate accountability and will fight to the end avoiding it.
Kyle was rambling and filibustering
He is soo damn annoying, talk sh💩to and thinkin he is dropping knowledge. I dnt know why TF themis have him back. Like B0Y, nobody wants to hear you
That's the gist I got from this 7hr live.
I’m super disappointed in Kyle- to be an attorney, he sure had a lot of trouble separating his personal emotions from the issue to have a real discussion with Themis. He also pretended to not understand Themis pointing out his shaky principles and made it seem like Themis was the illogical one. Kyle just wants to sit and talk about how much of a good black man him and his friends are and ignore the rest of the community. Ego at its finest…
Yup! Very egotistical and intellectually dishonest. Smh
Kyle is simply not organically intelligent. One of the EASIEST ways to clock somebody is of low intelligence is the fact that they CANNOT follow analogies. When someone cannot read the joining factor between analogies, it reveals a lack of critical thinking skills. Kyle simply isn’t smart 😵💫
Because I'm sure before they met their wives they were out there with their noses in the air doing women dirty. They always want to talk about the pookies when they do the same as the ray-rays. They are no different they just got married.
@@ToriOfTheNile Girl. I can't even. That is how right you are.
Kyle is just a lawyer representing his client/bm…it’s giving criminal defense 😂
👏🏾👏🏾😂😂😂
Lmaoooooo
Let me get this right. Women should have good judgement in who they choose to date, but we should give grace to the men who had the poor judgement to get themselves a criminal record?
Yep you heard it right 😂😂😂
Im surprised they thought Themis question should even be answered. I’d feel like Themis was insulting my intellect before I actually started responding to what crimes should be acceptable
@DOLCEKAY-ny3ig crazy isn't it. It's like asking how much 💩 would you like in your coffee?
@@joeshmoe0136 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Best Comment
Impossible cuz 4 every male u reject there is someone saying he's a good guy, no one is perfect, u too picky....
You have to acknowledge the PROBLEM before you get to the solution. These weak dudes will defend all black men as if ALL black men are in the status that they have. Kyle is telling people to take responsibility but can’t accept that black men in large have not protected but yet abandoned their responsibilities.
It's interesting when you ask BM about their issues, It always goes back to 'but bw..but bw". Victimhood is a hell of a drug.
Yep, and they have overdosed on it
I legit had to walk out of a panel of BM speaking about men's mental health. BW literally got brought up on EVERY topic. And I got confused looks when I simply asked, "Why are we blaming BW for what we go through mentally? Let me ask, how many men in this audience have health insurance to find a good therapist?" BM don't won't help, at least the ones I've debated with on this topic.
They always make us the scapegoat smh. They never want to take accountability, even as grown ass men.
Yes, And WM do it too! It's not about BW + WM it's about You and only YOU.
Deflection is a helluva Drug😅
A panel intended to focus on black men, yet the black men were relentlessly defensive and they repeatedly deflected to black women. Very counter productive and honestly hard to watch.
This live reiterates what I say about the difficulty of conversing with black men on topics such as this. They purposely stay in collective mode to make points and NEVER answer questions about the collective by acting like the question being asked offends them personally. They are NOT interested in change, the goal is to find a woman who will fall in line.
@isthisreallystillathing5060 EXACTLY! It "offends them personally" because it APPLIES to them! It is POINTLESS to talk to Black men, because they cannot be honest about WHO they are.
Switch the qu around … no one wud in any group wud be happy to discuss a topic that is so general and the perimeters so broad WITHOUT even a reason for the conversation at all. It’s a set up to chatting wind.
They came on to a planned live discussion to claim they are the “good black men” and spent the first three hours complaining about semantics, “not all, few, many some”. The truth is all black men think they all land on the side of the good black man even when they don’t.
@jllj9231 the questions do get switched around. Bw get called to the carpet regularly. They're constantly getting berated for being single, single mothers, being on welfare, being too "masculine", etc. And when bw say "not all" bm are quick to tell them and somehow understand in these situations they aren't saying all. The thing is bw will listen. They don't blame it on Crack, racism, JimCrow, slavery, seismic. Bm never bring it up in these discussions either. Bw just continue to rise above their circumstances.
EXACTLY! Thats why they hop from group to group from woman to woman to see who will put up with THE MOST of their degeneracy
Stop dating them. Stop living around them. And for God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit's sake, STOP HAVING KIDS BY THEM.
👏🎉
😂 This is the same talking points from black female YT channels that gave rise to the Red Pill and mens movements started from in 2009. You women have said the same things for decades and this is where the black community is now. It started from black womens RUclips channels calling for the extermination of black male babies and look at you all now. You've gone no where. Quite literally.
❤❤❤
Not one of thr other 3 men on Themis's panel checked Kyle for derailing the convo for nearly 40 minutes. This is why BM are being left behind in so many areas. They are too afraid to call each other in for better communication skills. Smh. No wonder the BC is crumbling. Kyle's histrionics was cringe-inducing behavior. Who would want him as an attorney if he can't even get through a panel discussion?
Exactly! Pin this comment to the top because this is the issue. Sure, we have lots of good black men but they almost never challenge the bad ones. So, the bad ones just run amok
Next time there’s a stream with all males, everyone’s camera should be ON
It’s very concerning, and disheartening when “good” BM spend most of their time clarifying the “all or some” debate when the subject of harm towards women particularly BW is brought up. We have enough available information to understand that BW are being harmed in a multitude of ways by BM. Examples include, unaliving, domestic abuse, abandonment/rejection of children, and colorist and misogynist slander. Particularly regarding the high rates of us being harmed to the point of losing our lives, I find it strange that most of these men will spend their time defending the “good” black men, bring up BW and WM, trying to prove how they don’t know anything about this and how they grew up so different versus acknowledging the vast amount of harm directed towards us. Even BM are unaliving BM at alarming rates, it doesn’t matter if it’s not you specifically how do we address the problem? How will BM take accountability for this so the community can move forward? Accountability just doesn’t seem to be in a room full of “good” BM. If these men are basically spending 7 hours on a panel saying it’s not “all of us” versus seriously addressing issues brought up this conversation is pointless. How do BW have the capacity to be the most harmed group of women (internally and externally) but yet historically have shown up with empathy and support for the men in our community knowing the harm we face and BM spend the first 20 minutes of a panel saying it wasn’t me. Jesus Christ 🫠
exactly, they actually believe it was not enough harm being done to bw to even warrant talking about. In their words it's not all bm so end of discussion. It's time bw hang up the cape. Bm don't even acknowledge bw have a cape of for them so why bother supporting a group that is abusing them at the highest rates of all groups of women.
And that’s why the degeneracy continues. The minuscule number of “Good BM” waste time not all-ing or saying nothing while the Bad BM run amok.
Sometimes it feels like BMs need to hear you say something good about them before they feel open to listening to you at all. I personally have stopped talking because making a point feels like it's too much.
@@videofan1010 I don’t know what the point of this panel was other than to listen to black men continue to blame black women and not be challenged on their thinking all it was was asking black men how they feel about particular topics concerning the black community and even though most of their thinking could be easily debunked it was like OK let’s move onto the next question every time I hear one of these listen to one of these panels with men talking about everything none of their belief systems. Nothing is challenged. It’s just the answer no matter how ridiculous their answer is and then move onto the next question.
This whole thread is 🔥. That’s it. That’s all.
The fathers are NOT instilling fear to these men that date their daughters I promise you.
How can they when most of them are doing the same thing. 😢
That’s because a lot are degenerate and not present for their daughter to begin with
Exhibit A - Bosie *itcha$$ recent statement is an example how this statement is true.
@@Happymind-happyworld.or not there!
Right! Its hard to instill something when no one is there to instill it.
The true essence of Alice Walker's novel, The Color Purple, is in the written word, not the film. What she wrote was so universally relatable and experienced that the book was translated into 72 languages worldwide. The argument of, "...not all black men..." is weak in the face of BW being deleted by BM at the rate of one every five hours. These BM on the panel identify themselves as good BM, but I'd like to hear what their wives and partners have to say about how good they really are.
Women who partner with men like this are the 'he's a good man, Savannah' type. They will shout his praises even if he does the bare minimum.
These are the type of men that want a cookie for doing the bare minimum.
These menz should be vetted before speaking on this platform. How do you handle criticism or feedback? Are you empathetic? Do you consider yourself a part of the Black community? Are you willing to put your pride/ego to the side in order to have a difficult conversation? Do you tend to be more of a pessimist, optimist, idealist, or deafitist...? What are the issues in the black community, if any? What causes that? What research have you done, if any? Etc. Because clearly being an adult, being male, married or educated doesn't automatically make you an effective communicator (or anything else). I want to hear from men who are thoughtful, who know what the issues are and are willing to discuss them. These conversations are way too important....
*defeatist 🙃
We need to add 'can you have a conversation about BM issues without mentioning BW'😂
@@sherriew36 ❕️❕️❕️❕️
@@4rtivist I don't know what you're saying.
I was shocked by how emotional the guy that left was; he had seemingly no ability to apply objectivity to the topic. Even the lawyer Kyle was getting triggered to hear that black men do bad things, if this is the barometer of "good black men", we're in trouble. Scary and bizarre blindspot.
Kyle seems to have a mental block when it comes to issues with bm. He does not listen. He wants to heard
Kyle was getting on ALL of my nerves, if he had a problem with Cyn G he should speak TO HER. He sounded like he needed a pacifier and some warm milk
@ijeonu2405 EXACTLY, He was so annoying 🙄 i hope he reads these comments
The panel were taking the Black male generalizations personally instead of attempting to answer the questions objectively.
It's simple. BM ("good" and bad) understand what the issues are, you just can't talk about them out loud because they LOOK or FEEL bad, never mind the people who actually get abused and harmed whether it be kids, the elderly, women and other men. They just want us to stop talking about it and accept it as it is. Separate them by "good" and bad and leave it as is... Stop asking uncomfortable questions
I'm searching for a lie in what you just said 👀. Ain't found one yet.
Perfectly said!
These "uncomfortable" conversations need to be had. We've seen were ignoring them for the sake of bm's egos get us.
💯💯💯 they don't want things to change.
@@YouAreDreamingRightNow They want to be the only good man. The sad thing is that they are not even a good man.🥴
I like how Kyle was like 'you guys are doom and gloom, and you have no hope' in one breath, and then, when pressed for solutions, switched to 'I don't know how to reach down, let them go, give up and stop talking about it cause iwe're powerless' . Mad projection, sir.
The fact that we have a term for “good blk man” is very telling. It’s shows that the so-called good ones are an anomaly. Otherwise, the assumption would be that most are “good” - instead of _rightful_ assumption is that most are *BAD* IJS.
Cynthia was being nice, it’s more like 98.5% - and they should be avoided at all costs.
This is very true and I believe these men know this intrinsically but will never admit it out loud.
@@papertape7911 YUP ‼️
sort of like how we are surprise when a bm graduates from university........it's an anomaly
Exactly. The very fact that we have the phrase "good blk man" shows that it's not the norm. That's what I've been saying too. It's the same for the phrase "black love". The fact that we use the term "black love" shows that it's very rare. It's not the norm at all. I'm not even going to bother watching any of this video. I'm tired of the discussions with bm. They don't want to change or improve; it's useless. I just popped in to read some of the comments.
@@4rtivist sure it is.......notice how everyone is surprised when a bm graduates from college or gets married? only 33% of bm are married......weird how both your college rates and your marriages rates are almost identical. Now that's an anomaly. It means bm are the LEAST likely to do both. The two most important things to maintain a thriving, FINANCIALLY STABLE community and family (marriage and education) , bm are least likely to do. And then we wonder why so many black communities are impoverished and crime ridden
All these men did proved Cynthia G points even the most harsh one.
Let’s divest from the communintah! Invest in yourself only
Yep, 7 hours gaslighting. Asking for clarification to determine what abandonment of children by their fathers means 🙄
I do not have the patience, this conversation with them was so insufferable omg
I really REALLY wish we had gotten to the Jidenna clip where Jidenna said he deliberately wasted years of women's time for SPORT. I would have loved to seen the men grapple with that with vetting.
just open your third eye queen. Innerstand his intentions
They allowed him 2 waste their time. Women don't wanna be single or take a chance on a different man. They stay with males years, cohabitating and having kids oow, waiting, hoping, and praying 4 him 2 marry them. If u don't wanna date someone several years, DON'T. After year 1, 2, or 3 break up with them.
What Chris said in response to Kenny saying “if we hooked you up to a machine when he said he wouldn’t date a woman who owned a home, and only your brain played”….”oh he’d probably wanna fight me”, is why the community looks the way it looks. If you have to know someone, or be friends with someone to correct them what is the point. Black men are afraid of each other.
Exactly!!!
Yes they are afraid of each other. Makes perfect sense why they won’t check each other. Also makes sense why BW are the scapegoat. We always have been since slavery. Ole boy beat on him and humiliate him, he go to the cabin and beat on her and take it out on her. This is what is still going on. That’s why I left the BC mind, body, and spirit. I am too tired of the crazy.
But yet still they expect black women to hold them accountable when they themselves can't even do it and are afraid to do it. They are so pathetic
1. Shout out to Kenny for coming through and standing on business!! Kenny has earned the right to move up in the ranking. It’s still #JusticeForKenny over here!
2. I’m sooo over having to quantify“not all BM”! We can make general statements about everyone else except BM or else they are going to cry about it for hours until we quantify “not all” 🙄.
Kyle was constantly looking for ways to exit the convo because he knows the convo wasn't going to go the way he wanted. The truth is too much for him to accept and so he focused on derailing the convo. Sad.
These men are ducking and dodging these questions. But moral of the story is there is no hope. None.
As a black woman we do have to take in some account that racism is a big factor in black men not investing in their communities. Those rich black men can stay rich as long as they don't pour their wealth into bringing up black people economically. Let's not pretend like the higher up don't control these people money even the black rich women. They are allowed to do certain things.
@@ashbarbz4220MAMMY please!
Kyle (and the other men to a lesser degree outside of Chris) had so much personal investment in their own “good man” image that they by default kept defending and minimizing the terrible behaviors we were attempting to discuss, just sad.
Yes. This is the problem. They can’t take personally themselves out of the conversation and be objective. When people talk about hoes I don’t get mad because I’m not a hoe.
Kyle makes me question how difficult law school can actually be at this point…
😂😂
Nah. I'd say he lacked empathy and was WILFULLY obtuse because he was more committed to a DEfense.
@@teet2649there is a connection between a low form of intellect and close mindedness though. You're missing KEY ESSENTIALS for solving problems if you're close minded, leading to only more problems. For this reason, I don't think his life is as great as he puts out
@DellHeat I hear you, but he doesn't strike me as "closed-minded" per se. Rather, he seems to be the typical argumentative type that will IGNORE obvious facts to defend a point. He's probably a prideful BM who is so proud of his "accomplishments," he is offended at ANYTHING that would not only fail to RECOGNIZE HIS contributions, but threaten whether he is ACTUALLY contributing positively or in an impactful way -which is what any critique of the "collective" does (justifiably so but he's UNWILLING to acknowledge it because he's too SELF centered to take a "community L." Similarly, he comes off as the type that would be too prideful to apologize for something. He'd rather argue his way out. It's the same mentality for the black people who elevate out of the ghettos and then suddenly want to ignore that the ghetto STILL exists and impacts us ALL and other's perception of us.
What does law school have to do with anything. Kyle is obviously smart, he’s just emotional and unwilling to accept the realities of bm issues because it’s embarrassing. Many if not most black ppl do this.
Kyle was sooo annoying. Hyperemotional, over speaking, biased but couldn't answer why black men are lagging behind black women, why bm have high rates of DV, femocide, homicide and couldn't articulate solutions but over talked Themis and railroaded the conversation. I was impressed by Chris but that's not really a complument because he exemplified basic attributes of what a man should be, but in our community, his mindset is that of a unicorn, which is the problem.
The bar is in hell for us to be proud of a bm acting like a normal person. Something that bw come on the panel and display on a daily basis
Exactly! The sad thing is that Chris seems to be a basic decent human, which we appreciate, but it's not enough.
It's so funny how Kyle came with his lame friends and they all left when their egos were not stroked. Kyle should be embarrassed but you know he is not. He still thinks he is a good man Savannah.😆
@MysticMoon23231 Right, embarassssssed is what they should be, but we know they're not. This is our best men according to them and look at how they behaved. The women had to get on the panel and put them in their place like children, but they will still find a way to say not all and make it bw fault. 😒
@@BMWF2023 Gurrrrrrlllll. I try to can but I no longer can. 🤷🏾♀️
11:42 whenever we talk about the issues BM cause in the community the response is always: “White men do it to” “Black Women do..” the deflection is real
Oh you missed 'not all'.
I have come to the conclusion that men are not logical.
Notice how all the other men in the panel said nothing while Kyle railroaded the conversation?!
This is why cyn said 95%. They don't even realize that they (the good ones) are part of the problem. Their silence or lack of a significant rebuttal is supporting the toxic behavior.
I’m just in awwww of the women on the panel.
Themis has really created the best space for black women on this platform. The women here really inspire and motivate me.
They killed it!
Always impressed by these women; so disappointed in Kyle who is supposed to be a friend. If you can't boldly proclaim the problem then you have no right to talk solutions...get outta here.
The women were way more perceptive and well rounded than the men.
@@jossangeles4011
Always. That’s women. We seem to excel in intellect and emotional maturity.
The only males on the planet who compare themselves to women.
Let's be intellectually mature, we know the rule of absolutes, so we know, as mature people, not "all" but most....
Its almost the end of 2023. And last years nearly 90% of my friends suffered some form of abuse. And 100% of this group of 20 women have suffer sexual abuse or sexual a harassment by the men in their communities. 20% have been physically attacked by the very men they advocate for. Right now, the women in our community are dying. Almost all of them are by the men in the community. She might not have been wrong. Unless we accept the fact that a large number of women in our community are being abused by the men in our community, we will not be able to solve this out.
But as you have just heared.
Most bm "donot" know any bm that have abuse bw... soooo i guess bw are their own...
It is unbeliveable if 70% of the people who do the abuse never hear nor know anyone who do the abuse.... 😏😏😏🙄
Right. Idk why this is an issue they do not want to listen to. When they ass dying , we all stand up, but for BW it’s crickets
Kyle was being DISINGENUOS and side-stepping accountability for BM...the.....entire....time. Smh.
It was really odd to hear Kyle say-unequivocally mind you-that his daughter wouldn't date a pookie or rayray but had just previously stated vetting isn't 100%. He also couldn't give much of a concrete guide for women to use while vetting. I'm genuinely curious what he plans to teach his daughter to help her avoid certain pitfalls in dating. I think he and much of the panel knows there aren't a lot of good choices for bw, but I think they underestimate just how grim the situation is
I dont know why they couldnt be clear with telling black women not to date felons. Is it that they know thar the majority of them are ex felons? But would flat out deny that the majority of them aren't good.
Within the community yes. We are limited only in what choose for ourselves. Look at the situation, apply logic and probability for success and go where the probability for success is higher.
It is illogical to stay in a low success situation.
@@shellylen i dont agree with that in principle. The reality is most women will be single when they raise their standards. Instead of being sincere about this, the men on the panel seemed to fall back on the "choose better", "just vet", mantra
@@soundsaboutright---
It's true that the males were a waste of time. I don't see how my comment has anything to do with your response. Is the principle you disagree with that a woman should NOT go where her chance for success is better?
Are you submitting that women should stay in environments that are less likely for success?
@@shellylen I meant to say I don't disagree. Typo
Not them trying to gaslight Themis at 3:06:01 like whatt? Did they even hear any of his questions? Also, it’s an open panel, if you wanted to talk about positivity then speak, no one’s stopping you lmaoo 😂
Yup...the gaslighting was real😂
If these are the better of black men…this explains a lot
@3:02:35 where they started saying that Themis was not hopeful...made me angry. The ENTIRE reason Themis is even here is because he believes things can be different. It is why he shows up every week. He was not being 'negative'. He was pointing out most of the men's unwillingness to face the truth of what is happening in the community. He was pointing out the fact that when it comes to their own victimhood, they needed no nuance (the policing), but when it came to how the collective was victimizing others, they needed it to be quantified. And the need for that constant pacifying of 'not all black men" is blocking the important conversations that need to be had. That is all he was saying. I just want to say thank you Themis for showing up. Your very presence is hope. I know these topics are difficult to address. No one wants to admit that their community is broken. But it can't be fixed until we do. You are doing the difficult part and allowing us to discuss it in a safe space without cursing, yelling, or 'low tier' insults. I appreciate the work you do, and I am sure many others do as well.
Girl, preach! So well said. I think we have to start separating the emotionally immature from men who aren't. We should have these conversations with the men who are not emotionally dependent on constant validation. Kyle...why lawd??🥴
@MysticMoon23231 so you'll essentially be having the convo by yourself.
They were just doing that to deflect. Even if Themis is/was hopeless, they aren't. So they should've still proposed some potential solutions
@@soundsaboutright--- Oh damn. You might be right🤔
I came to say that Extra Crispy Extra Wet came and had a service!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was having church!!!!!! I loved EVERY SINGLE WORD that left that beautiful, intuitive sister’s mouth!!!!!! She spoke nothing but the truth!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Kyle was very passive aggressive towards Themis.
Two things I feel need to be highlighted here…..
1. I find it quite funny and triggering that the panel of men didn’t seem to be able to speak about the degeneracy of BM but were quick to list a bunch of ways that BW have failed.
2. Black people are the only people that do not expect our wealthy or elites to give back to the communities that made them wealthy. This reverse trickle down economics seems to be the direct cause of our lack of generational wealth as a whole. When you make it you’re supposed to have your name on everything in your old community from schools to banks to restaurants or whatever! We need to do better and it starts with holding our black elites accountable!!! Tf y’all scared for…. Y’all made them rich! Wake up 💯
sadly a lot bm got rich degrading bw
They aren't truly wealthy. I expect those blk people with older wealth to give back not entertainers. Entertainers don't have all the solutions and don't spend yrs getting an education. Those r people who just got lucky
@@brandond1947 We actually don't need celebrities. I came up with a plan that can generate 1 billion dollars a year to fund the resources we need like businesses, housing, healthcare, education and criminal justice. It's such a simple solution but given the black community's lack of integrity and unity.....this plan would fail miserably. It's sad because this plan would allow us to send thousands of kids to university for free or low cost. It would allow us to fund businesses and urgent care centers in our communities. We could have better legal representation because of all the lawyers we help put through school. It's a brilliant plan but it would be a massive undertaking but again it would fail simply because someone would try to turned it into their own private bank
@WarmSun_MGM my Black brother has 6 kids by 3 Black women...the women and children all live in poverty. He doesn't support nor take care of the families he created.
Blk males hate Black women. Sorry but true
@@brandond1947 excuses excuses excuses! The fact that you think that the only black people that have wealth are entertainers really concerns me as well.
Everytime Cynthia makes a statement, BM's first defense to dismiss it is "not all BM" to say it's nothing to focus on. And she keeps having to say she didn't say "all".
This cycle is a bit tiring 😅 and they should not be able to constantly use this method.
If we can only focus on issues that are absolutes in this community, we will focus on nothing 🙃
I also wish we had pulled up abuse stats at some point. I missed a bit of the show so maybe someone did. Kyle seem like he never read statistics or doesn't believe in them 😅
When someone say "Not all" is usually because They know the premises/statement is factual but do not want to acknowledge their responsibility into it.
Deflection at its best, you end up reassuring the person that they're not to blame instead of making the point You intended.
@@TititoDeBologay this 💯
I would have love for them to brought up the stats about the amount of violence bw experience when they were talking about the color purple and if it portrayed bm correctly. These men honestly believe that bw don't experience enough violence so it's not worth talking about. Too them it's only a few bm so no need in focusing on the violence against bw. The amount of violence bw experience went completely unchallenged. That would of been the perfect time to bring up the stats but Themis didn't do that. Not sure why though.
@@notyet2345 Because Chris was too hostile to do it. We only got to a fraction of the 220 questions and 20 clips of prep content to get through with the men, but the men were too emotional to go through it. Kyle kept threatening to leave anytime we got near stats.
@@afrobutterfly sounds like we would rather coddle them than to challenge them because they can’t handle facts, so we just let it go.
Themis, thanks for trying to have an open dialogue with ……..men and for trying to find solutions. Please understand that some people probably took a break from watching your live last night because the negative energy and language of some of the men on your panel was overpowering. It is not because the viewers didn’t want to support you. A particular “male” kept interrupting you and another one was coughing without putting his mic on mute. I personally stay away from certain people and the type of energy they emit regardless of their position or financial status. They apparently could not even understand your questions about “some” and “qualifying”. For what it is worth, I think you are an extremely intelligent and empathetic young man. Peace and light!
I’m a little over two hours in on this live, and the conversation has been willfully full of nonsense and purposeful confusion. 🤡ish
Themis, you really put together an excellent live! I say that in regard to the questions you asked and the topics you brought up. But, man! These panelists were such a disappointment 🤦🏾♀️ I really wish you were able to engage with men who could discuss these topics beyond a surface level. I know high school students who could articulate their thoughts and points better than these panelists smh
They came in without any research or forethought, and were unable to answer even the simplest of questions. You asked them to point out traits/characteristics of a good man and it was like pulling teeth! Omg. Just exhausting smh & the way they got speechless about the measly 38% of black men who get married. How do you show up to a discussion without reading, researching, or simple brainstorming about the topic you came to discuss?? They had very little dialogue of substance. Their thinking and their talking points greatly lacked depth.
The man in the red shirt was the only one willing or able to reason with logic, or accept the reality of documented statistics, while the others became so emotional and aggressive, only deflecting and making excuses.🤦🏾♀️ Good God! ((You really have the patience of a saint 😂😩!!)) And these are the pinnacle of the good men? Kmt this is truly insane. Kyle is truly dense 🙄 and egotistical, literally part of the problem… everything is about him & his close circle… me, me, me. Meanwhile the conversation is about the community COLLECTIVELY. You cannot see the evidence of the prevalence and incidence of femicide statistics and male-on-male homicide in the community, and your response is pointing out that you and your close friends/families are not involved in those numbers.
I’m at 2:35:55 & I need a break before I can finish. These men & their refusal to delve deeper on an intellectual level and add meaningful contribution to the discussion has really worn me out. 😵💫
11:13 This is why this conversation about MVAW never moves forward. 11 minutes in, and I am so tired already.
We have to spend so much time couching our language and appeasing the feelings of men, we never get to discuss the harm women experience.
Girl, you are 300% right lol.
I think before we can have these conversations, we have to prepare men's egos first. If you don't, you are gonna have the Kyle effect with all his lame a** friends, who are just like him, crying on the live.
I took the time to spend almost my entire day watching this in sections. To say I am disappointed is an understatement. But then again, this was almost expected. Themis has tried more than enough times to try and speak to black men on a genuine, authentic , fact-based level and every time he has attempted this, the end result of those discussions were the same.
It goes to show the writing is on the wall regarding the state of black men and the community. If this was not an eye opening moment, I dont know what is.
It's wild to watch these guys accuse Themis of only focusing on the doom and gloom of the community because they refuse to step out of their bubbles long enough to see what's happening on a larger scale. That man really sat there and said that Themis only focused on the problems and not the solutions for 3 hrs when he was actually trying to get the panel to accept reality of the problems long enough so they can move onto talking about solutions. This is why we can never get anywhere. Too many "good" BM need to distance themselves from the foul sides of the community so they can never face the problems long enough to seek solutions.
It’s always amazing that black men don’t attempt to qualify instances of singular or small groups of black men doing “good” i.e. (winning super bowls, graduating from college, receiving other accolades, etc.) but when we attempt to address problematic behavior in men we get stuck on whether or not it applies to all…..bizarre..
What’s ‘bizarre’ is how many black children black women abort each year, then pretend to care about black people. Get real😂😂😂😂😂😂
I agree with you here. But in all fairness everybody (i even assume including you) are in the positive role models for men boat. Unlike women society expects men to look up to the most positive masculine male role models. Afterall men are the default right? So don't be surprise when men are protecting themselves onto successful men. Because that's what is expected of men to inspired to be. Sure bad men may get away with problematic behavior. But at least society is more likely to look down on those men with problematic behaviors. But expecting men to be very successful is a demand in our society. If you have a problem with that. Then stop expecting men to have role models to look up to. And that's conversation for another day.
@@markstriker925BS
All praises to Extra Crispy, Extra Wet! As my middle school students would say, "You ate!" 💯 Gurl, you ate with intelligence, clarity, fierce honest and total genuineness. ❤
🥹🥹🤗🤗🤗
@@ExtraCrispyExtraWet Is your name a reference to the contradictory Baltimore pizza described in Abbott Elementary.
Glad I wasn’t present for this live cause I would’ve been muted immediately for the disrespect Kyle was giving Themis. Totally unneeded. And this discussion felt like hitting a brick wall as per usual, as expected
Edit: I appreciate Chris being able to step outside of his emotion and perspective and understand that it’s not just his view.
@ 5:20:08 I’m absolutely DEAD at “homeless women.” 😂 The good men just don’t correct the raggedy ones in our community at all. “I’m a LEADER, LEADER, LEADER… Silent in the face of stupidity.”
THIS is exactly my issue with the “good black men” who love to complain. They keep mute when the degenerates act amock but have all the smoke for the women’s reactions. Madness
5:28:19 Black women have low options, not low standards.
Bw don’t have low options if they’re willing to broaden their horizons. They choose to choose low value bm because it’s familiar and comfortable. Bw have extremely low standards, this isn’t even debatable.
I think it's both.
It's both... Little to no options, but as a group we are also content with trash.
With the lack of accountability and leadership from the men in this demographic, I'm fearful for the next generation of girls growing up (I think gen alpha?) and honestly I would advise that they put their eggs far away from this basket. That carnage is palpable at this point.
It’s both hun!
01:09:40 - "My wife helped me to get to where I am today" This is the PROBLEM. Men use women as a resource in a way they would NOT want their daughters being utilized during COURTSHIP. You are telling women to "take a bet" for an undetermined amount of time and HOPE that it winds up in commitment and fidelity? BFFR
that part!!!
Yup
Caught that too. Not realizing so many women have done that for men that never materialized and get told they shouldve chosen better
Exactly! Take a bet and hope fir the best with your investment
I appreciate how compassionately thoughtful but critically analytical Themis is during conversations with everyone; he genuinely wants to understand the other person’s point of view even when he disagrees.
Now I remember why I don't watch these mens panels. Circular arguments leading NOWHERE!!!
Isn't it interesting that when the men "have a point" they're speaking generically, but when Themos mentions a stat they only are speaking about the men they know.
I appreciate the menz for having this panel. I'm sure none of them will be back.
Kyle was just on one for Cynthia ...he needs to go to her chat tomorrow when she goes live.
Chris, thanks for hanging in there and being reasonable.
I fell asleep 😴 and woke up twice. I miss these wild west lives!
Me too😂😂😂 I fell asleep when there were three men total and woke up to a full panel! I was like what the f***? 🤣🤣 Now I'm hitting the replay.
When I tell you I kept closing out RUclips because I thought there was a glitch! Getting comfortable and Rewatching now because there hasn’t been a live chat like this in a looong time. ☺️
Bring back #WildwestLIVES😂 . I feel like these have always been the BEST of Themis & Thoths
@@teet2649 PERIOD
I love that the conversation was basically concluded by the majority of the men blaming the women for the actions of men. LOL.
I couldn't even listen to the rest of the live; my Uber driver from the airport was banditing. I'm going to finish, but this was a great one, Themis!! Please bring Chris back on the channel 👏🏾💯
6:59:33 Men: *I am doing the BEST that I can, but what I WON'T DO, is CARE.* Tsk tsk tsk Grippy sure summarized it well.
She is so right that *BW have a history of atoning for "sin" or adjusting their behavior for the greater good of the community.* 6:56:23
WOOOOW! 😮 I had to come back and comment again. At 6:41:26, Kyle really tried to say that since he was the only male that stayed, he deserves grace?!! You have to be joking, right? So you waited until Chris left to call attention to YOU being on the panel? After you said you were leaving?! Kyle, your actions during this live stream say a lot about how you behave offline. Honestly, I would be afraid of you, smh...
Even the vetting conversation gets old. if you want us to believe that most black men are good, then that means a woman should be able to go out and Willie Nilly, just choose a black man and she'll have a good one. what they are explaining on this vetting conversation is that's not the case, meaning even by their own metrics, most black men are not good black men. These gymnastics get tiring. When it's about black women and their accountability for where their situation is, they have no issue by proxy pointing out the reality of most black men. However, when the conversation it's just about black men, there's all types of scape goat and inexcuses
Kyle's law school needs to be vetted. 😒
What the men focused on in the beginning was the idea of actions. We do not abuse, we do not know anyone who abuses, therefore stating its most men is wrong. They're trying to run away from the shared responsibility of being part of a culture. Culture is also a system. It's interesting that they understand the idea of systemic issues when it comes to police brutality, so for them i wanted to point this out: When we talk about police brutality, we don't JUST speak on the abusive cops but we also speak on the hiring practices and culture that helps propagate abuse. These kind of dangerous cops couldn't thrive if the system and the culture of policing didn't allow them to. Cops being allowed to 'resign' instead of getting fired so they can go to another city/state is an example. The person that allowed him to resign didn't do the physical abuse, but he opened the door for future abuse to occur. So, I wrote all that to say, when it comes to abuse in the black community its not JUST about the men who do it or the men who don't do it, its also about the fact that abusive behaviors have been accepted/nurtured enough in the community at large to be a problem. Running away from that and getting caught up on 'some men' stops the 'good men' from holding other men accountable because they spend their time caring more about their image.
Please dont private this live 😊
This is why the black community will never change with black men in charge. Nothing but "but black women" in this discussion as per usual.
03:08:08 If Kyle and Eddie are proof of the good black men, I’m good. I’ll take some new pots/pans and a cat 🙂
Can we add some dogs and plants?;
@@oliviaobiaja ooo yes! And an Alexa 🙂 she don’t sass you like Kyle
@anayahmoretti the part with Eddie was a workshop in cognitive dissonance.
@@anayahmoretti sis, Alexa is hard of hearing sometimes.
I wouldn't date a BM, but I see u, sis.
Herein lies the issue 2:43:06 his focus is protecting his image via protecting the label “black men”. It’s all ego and he came on the panel to defend himself. Just ugh.
Wow this went way downhill. It was fascinating seeing these "good" men address the issues in the community smh
*I REALLY appreciated ECEW's comments **6:08:43*
It's so obvious that BW have LIVED (& are living) these experiences and are feeling REAL pain, unlike the inflictors of the the pain. *The women approached the conversation with a lot more reverence than the men."
*Shout out to all the women that went up. The tone & frequency of the conversation elevated on ALL LEVELS*
3:35:15 Up to this point except for Chris. Everyone on the panel. Bend themselves into a pretzel to avoid how sorry the collective of BM is.
40 minutes into the video and all I can say is for a 'good' man who (allegedly) prosecutes policemen to get this riled up by the 95% of black men Cynthia claimed (and which I believe she just threw in) wasn't a good look.
They just keep on proving (by default) that Cynthia is right ✅️
well he's doing a piss poor job of prosecuting police officers. Police officers are almost never get prosecuted and if they are, they are almost never found guilty especially if it was a crime against a black person.
They always prove her right and they don't believe it.@@SoBeIt27
Fathers are men too, they're also abusive. Not too many BM in the home. A lot of fatherless homes out there in the black community.
We are concerned about our own community....we're not talking about the yt community but our own....
00:19:00 Themis tells them the way conversations like this usually go (meaning we know it's not all) and their reply is to start a battle with the way these conversations go 🙃
They rather start an other battle instead of focussing on this issue.
Already sets the tone of the conversation. I feel like this logic will be used a lot to dodge answering questions when they know the answer will not go their way.
The Color Purple is not just a movie that was made up because someone hated bm... it is based on the book written by Alice Walker. If you've read any of her work then you know what type of time she's on . I want more people to read, think deeply, and research... THEN form an opinion.
The Color purple is a great movie to show how DARKSKINNED women suffer in the black community
A lot of these people don’t read, that’s the main problem smh
AMEN!
Are you saying Alice Walker hates bm? Please provide a reference point? Maybe we are reading different books. I would argue the men she encountered hated bw, bgs and themselves.
@@womanish how did you get that from what the original commenter stated? 🤔 she’s literally saying that it isn’t about hating bm. Anyone who reads Alice walker knows that her books contain historical context and the realities of many.
Btw, since I was a Surgical Tech for 20 years, I was able to recognize Chris as the standout from the beginning 🏆
El/ (“M” when he went off cam) thought he ate with that exit but i said it in the chat and i’ll say it again, people who refer to black people as “melanated people” unironically aren’t about to contribute a damn thing of worth in a serious conversation. funny how they all but Chris literally abandoned the discussion in a conversation about bm abandoning the community. how’s that for a catch 22 on 12/22. 😂 poetic really, mi haffi laugh.
3:03:00 YoU ArE aN AgENT fOR tHE EnEmy. the enemy being the community holding the so called leaders to task. pathetic isn’t even the word.
Respectfully Kyle is the reason I swirl and at this time have paused on dating BM... i continue to run into ones like him and they are very hard to have a convo with about really anything but especially issues in the black community. When i speak to my hispanic boyfriend about these things he is very level headed and he uses logic whereas each BM I've spoken to about these issues they get very very sassy. It's just a turn off.
Kyle was so sassy it was gross
not to be rude, but please be careful with the hispanic male. This green$$$$ card game is very very real with them. Run background if you can. Happy New Year!
@@aae7583 don't assume all Hispanic ppl need a green card....my man is a US citizen. Born and raised.
lol...okay. if you say so. just be careful. remember if you are not sure who the target is in a room, then it is you. Be careful when you are in a group and it is just you. @@jinx724
👍, no illegals for me!
His voice is so whiney too
My boo Themis looks so handsome ❤
I always cry laughing when Themis turns his camera off, whether or not he's doing the same 😂
💀
The economist, Claude Anderson stated, 10 years ago, that if Blacks didn't change something we would become the permanent underclass of America. He meant Blacks, as a collective. Not only are we not making the necessary change needed, Black men have no clue what Black men, as a collective, should be doing. Black men aren't touchy because Themis is picking on them. They are touchy because they KNOW they are not doing what it takes to change their community for the better, even though Claude Anderson laid it out. To do what Dr. Anderson proposed, Blacks would have to plan and work as a collective. Whites, South Asians, Latinos do this. The men on Themis' panel spoke ONLY as individuals. Truth is, we might already be the permanent underclass.
We are.
My father does not care what type of felon you are… stay as far away from me as possible. He won’t think it makes you over all terrible, but it definitely makes you terrible for his daughters. No questions asked.
Exactly. No considerations.
Exactly. There is no ambiguity
The chat was eating these guys up. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Nothing of what they said made sense. You can’t say vet men then turn around and say men with rap sheets (depending on the crime) should get a chance all the while saying a woman should choose better once that jail bird fly the coop. These men said nothing about BM being better human beings but more so on what BW should be doing or who she should be picking/dating/procreating with. That whole future reference killed me. So y’all want women to have children that you all will ultimately blame her for having and act as if her being a single mother is harming the kids/community. These men just want access to women they have no interest on doing better or being better. Leave these men alone period. 🤷🏽♀️
amen.
Why do “good “ black men say my only responsibility is for my family. You seldom hear them speak of changing the community.
Exactly. That's why the bad black men are running amok
I learned a long time if BM isn't having sex with a BM he couldn't give a rat's ass about other Women, Children or The Community as a whole!
If the first 40 minutes of this video doesn't open up our eyes to see that Kyle is ACTUALLY abusive, then I don't know if y'all will see red flags in real life.
Did Kyle pull a Mr Biles in the beginning by pretending to not know cyn g name? These men know full well who these women are and try to down play it
How do you know that he doesn't /does know her, do you know him personally to know that information??
@@thatimokoena8357later on in he stream he was informing the panelist of her various view points about male abortions he is very familiar with her
The truth hurts and with all the statistics that’s out there with the issues black women face with black men, to try to defend against that is a bit slow. Kyle is a attorney and sat up there fighting a point that was irrelevant because truth is that historically black women has been the most unprotected. So with that along I agree with Cyn G. Ole dude was just crying. Men don’t know how to Vet because a lot of them has manipulated and lied themselves to get women.
Most people aren't going into dating think about stats. Also people know how to vet. It's just people choose to ignore red flags
I look at the statistics and the state of the community.
@@Susan-id5xj but u aren't most people
Kyle doesn't listen. I pity his wife
I can't believe he has a wife with that whiney voice
*How you leave a room says a lot about who you/ who you are-* Themis 2023.
*I admire you in so many ways Themis.*
Seeing your social awareness and skills on display, helps me to develop my own.
I stopped with them 30 yrs ago, no regrets! These are the goods ones? smh. Even the best of the bunch (Themis aside) had to duck out when the smoke came. Ladies, you're out here with your draws down. Its something when WM treat us better than the 'brothers'. Stop dealing with them then you won't be disappointed. "Not all, not all", please. 7 hrs of our lives, we'll never get back. How many hours is that collectively, hv we given these kangs?
5:57:37 I'm sad that she responded to this question of "How can black men improve".... They need to evaluate that themselves and we need to stop spoon feeding them everything. He literally didn't take anything of value from her response.... save your energy and words ladies!
Yes, they never have to do the work because a woman will always step in and do it for them. This is a huge part of the issue, even if well meaning, women need to learn to stand-down and let these men succeed or fail on their own.
Did Kyle have a tough day at work and needed a stress outlet? He really derailed this 😮💨
Kyle understandably has a chip on his shoulder so he is insisting that Themis defend Cynthia G's comments. Cyn G doesn't need anyone to defend her. If the panelists really want to crunch the numbers, they should go to her platforms and get all the verifiable stats she relies on.
The "what abouts..." I expected but they are getting old. Every community holds wm , brown latinos, asian men *regardless of ethnic/regional background) accountable...it's been time for bm and their "community" as well as other communities to start doing the same-start holding bm accountable. The stats ain't lyin.
BW need accountability to
@JohnThorpe-gr5ur Ummm...🤔Don't you mean 'too'? 🤣🤦♀️📚📖🤭 Please reply to the Thoths and Fruit Cakes *correctly* moving forward. 🤟
These guys sat on the fence for the first 2-3hrs, could barely get them to give definitive qualities of a man but then they all agreed that black women Should choose better, to then make exceptions for ex-cons and fellons. Black women are either too picky and have too high a standard and then when they give ppl chances and make exceptions...it's their fault.
Yes. After years of bashing Black women for "choosing thugs"- the hesitation about excluding men with criminal records from a black woman's dating pool was baffling! It should have been an easy YES- exclude men with criminal records.
It's al circular logic and blame black women. What's wild is they don't like poolie and Ray Ray but they want black women to date felons?!
@d.elainedixon953 - all felons including selling weed
The same black men.
2:34:29 this is the problem. BM dont have any idea on how to correct problematic BM but they have all the ideas on how BW can do better.
Us women really need to create our own spaces. We need to set specific standards on how to live cause the issue is we dont have a clear code of conduct or standards we abide by all the time in the bc
men are afraid of other men but expect us to trust them lmao it's all a joke.
❤
A whole panel dedicated to debating semantics. These guys could barely even get into the actual topic.
What is the topic?? It feels like the panel is just a showcase of black male denial and lack of willingness to think critically about these issues.