Same here.. 22 years, the love of my life walked out to live with another woman. Hes surrounded by women and friends and is happy. My life is ruined and the pain is indescribable 💔 im sorry you feel like this too. Mine happened about a month ago too. We are identical in our situation, and I'm so sorry your suffering too.
I'm with you also Ferrum, 22 years and he switched up. However I could not and would not take it to heart. This was his undoing so we chose to walk away respectfully. 20 + years is a life prison term and we've paroled about. Time to live freely and discover yourself before the next relationship comes. It'll happen, you'll see. 🥰
Hi 💢, sending you a lot of love and positive energy. The Relationship restorer(Dr Steve) who helped me with my divorce situation can help you out. He can help you with your divorce problems and restore your Relationship. I will advise you seek his help thanks....🙏💓
Divorced after 5 years known for 10 since 13. Hardest thing ever and the world has no remorse for you. Coming from a place where divorce isn’t common this was the hardest thing ever but i was tired of not receiving enough love or the love I felt I deserved. I now know there’s others out there willing to give 10x the amount of love I received in the past.
Love and prayers brother. I know that won't help most likely but what else can we do for each other when we are suffering? I hope you find peace very soon.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
I have 2 weeks separated from my husband or 9 years, 12 yrs together. Our marriage had become so toxic. I had enough walking on egg shells. This is such a hard process. Especially with kids ....
My recommendation for Marriage 2.0 in today's world: 1) Subject to a 4-year renewal period (non-renewal results in dissolution of union) 2) Does not involve the state whatsoever 3) Terms of separation is based on post-nup signed during the contractual period 4) All parties represented by a taxpayer-funded family mediator, not an expensive lawyer with a vested interest in separating your from your money!
Hi, get help from Dr Steve to bring your ex back and attract your (SP) someone you love to you, you might have try others Spellcasters and they disappoint you, but I can assure you 100% and also staking my life on it that Dr Steve can help you and make your ex beg you for a second chance because he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. I will advise you seek his help now thanks.
It has been devastating, the end of a life bc of his betrayal. But I’ve used this major transition as a reason for transformative change. To grow. To be better and have better.
Needed this. I’ve been with my wife for 5 years and married for nearly 3 (short I know) but few like I’ve lost the great love of my life. The person who meant the world to me in every way, I have a tendency to brood, self blame, and despair in an uncomfortable companion.
I think there are alot of marriages out there that are just grinding along because divorce is so expensive. Marriage really only benefits woman. When you think about it, the entire day is all about her, the dress, the hair, the bridesmaids, etc, Man has nothing to gain from being married. It's nothing more than a legal contract.
My brother who is 22 now got told the same thing by our dad who has never married. He is a lonely man and left a lot of relationships as well as me before my brother came along. I am 10 years older and have a different Mum. To my brother, that advice comes from a place of heartbreak and bitterness and does want to get married. His Mum met a lovely man and now has a great step Dad. He lives and breathes marriage can be wonderful.
Where did you find that hairball? My church ganged up on me and supported my wife's groundless allegations of child abuse, domestic violence, and claims that I put my daughter into the hospital. Kind a weird though, there were no hospital records, and my daughter openly said that she wanted to live with me... It didn't stop the pastor's wife from showing up at every hearing. I didn't stop the pastors wife from colluding, even pressuring my wife to go to the police to have me arrested on groundless claims. Do I need to point out that Christ remained single? AND advocated to remain single? Yup, and ditto for Apostle Paul. You have been brainfucked by a gynocentric religious community that has been overtaken by women. Jesus never promised peace, the promise for truth seekers is rejection, and persecution. Just like, say Christ himself! Or Paul! Or the majority of the Apostles!
Curious what makes David Sbarra an expert on Surviving Divorce? Try it sometime and then try your advice. Guarantee your going to delete this video afterwards.
There's a huge amount of utter toss being spouted on these comments. Divorce is a horrible, traumatic and at the time seemingly unending pain. If you have an 'inner strength that pulls you up' then good for you....but stop talking bollox
Hello Karen How are you doing, hopefully better. Can’t believe it’s been 4 years since you posted this comment. Would love to get a reply, take care and stay safe.
Been married for 8 years and been together for 14 years. One day my wife decided to start partying and it became a habit. Deserting our son nd I. She moved out and moved in with her baby sister and i filled for divorce. The pain was so excruciating that i was even admitted in mental ward.
I am going thru divorce right now. My wife leaving for basically no reason after 18 years of being with her. My mind goes a mile a minute and the last 30 days since she told me have been brutal. Hang in there man. I feel like i cant be happy again and question how i will go on without her. Focus on you and your son now. God bless
@@mgoddard1127 i am really sorry. I never thought some men are going through so much. I thought i was the only one cursed. I will surely hang in there.
as a former wife and unemployed woman. I use to so grateful for having a relationship. where we loved each other. young love turned to 30yrs. he never pushed me to work. in fact it was unspoken but he liked it. I was all his, no risk of competition. but after thirty plus years. I realized he was kinda controlling, and I was tired of feeling like his child. and some physical abuseI i wanted out .... now the divorce is in motion. and I'm beginning to realize being his lover, his dishwasher, his laundry mat, his personal trophy. was that fair to ask for help to survive without him? I felt victim to the system that brainwashed me into thinking being a sex object, wife was a good living. gave me love a room, etc. still now here I was about to leave alimony. when I realized. he will rebuild his life. I will have to go for minimum wage. now wait, in disabled from his damaginf my neck. but no ss. I know think every marriage is duffernt and circumstance. and general laws by state are insane. yet another thought occurred, MEN made laws. and I DO DESERVE THE RIGHT to be provided severance pay for all the work I out in WITHOUT PAY. so now he does not get my services free. but what about his services, driver, garbage man, lover etc.... well he can marry and still keep the earnings. but av woman marries, another guy will have to support her. yet she sacraficed or gave into another investment that tanked... point is. laws are flawed. alimoney should be assessed.... and marriages should be sacred.
Wait, you walked out of your marriage, but you think "marriage should be sacred?" It's fair to ask for for help to survive without him, sure. It's not fair to receive it. Perhaps the support you received from him was a result of being married. Why should you receive support if you opt out of the marriage? If I quit my job, I'm not entitled to my wages nor am I entitled to unemployment. I understand that you provided various services without direct (well...) financial compensation, but you could have worked at some point for some period with some advancement over the 30 years you were married, right? Or is that his fault too?
Wow. This guy is amazingly clueless. I usually find Ted Talks rather beneficial or interesting. This guy is on another planet and clearly knows nothing about what divorce is like. I found absolutely nothing in this to be of value. I want my 9:14 back.
This is a bit dispassionate and cold. It is definitely a part of the pain of divorce - expectations of making through it alone and without a blip to our productivity.
Survivorship guilt is relevant as a parent sure, but what about the children who feel guilty but aren't? What now seems relevant but is it a different approach for someone who has never had a lover?
I am concerned will my wife be entitled to my pension ,ok so I have not actually met my future wife ,but I am sure when we do I will eventually hate her and split
Single women and lesbians (sexless broads too) had no way of participating in this payout scene. The same lawyer driven legal system didn't seem as incentivized in treating their liberty taking employers like they were financially tappable soon to be ex-husbands. They were just rich bosses profiting of a conspiratorially enforced unfairness after all. Rich bosses are good clients.Revolutionary feminists usually didn't have two cents to rub together.
25 years next week for me and we’re in middle of divorce. I have days where I’m optimistic and days where I grieve to reconcile. I lost my 13 yo brother to a car accident when I was 11 years old, and there are moments when my emotions are worse than what I felt that day. There’s no infidelity, but there has been emotional neglect for many years that finally caught up with us. Combined with financial issues and work life balance issues, everything came off the rails. Good luck to everyone out there going through this. Regardless of the scenario the emotions are probably the same and we have to hope for brighter days.
Thank you brother. Going through a separation/ divorce after 11 years married. We came to the conclusion amicably after months of heartache and tears. I realized I can’t hold on or control any longer. I agree there are days I’m excited and optimistic and resolute in our decision. Other days I feel an overwhelming sadness and grief. I can’t play the “what if” game. We must move forward for ourselves and our kids.
I delayed the process in hopes of reconciling, but in the end we were unable to find common ground. There was no partnership, she wants what she wants and there are too many years of emotional neglect on both sides that won’t allow for reconciliation. So, the divorce is reaching its final stage now.
I am currently going through divorce with my husband of 9 years. It literally feels like death. The betrayal and all of this has seriously given me PTSD. I expected for my husband and I to be together forever and this happened! He was the only man I have been with. He just turned into a nightmare because of our issues. I was not innocent in all of this but I would have never thought of cheating on him like he did to me. The first time it happened I said ok we can get through this. But he turned it into a habit and said he wanted a divorce. He had it in his mind for a while that he wanted to leave and he finally did it. Everyone tells me its not my fault and he has personal issues but I still struggle with the guilt of feeling like I was a bad wife. I also deal with the guilt of loving someone that doesn't even respect me. When we first got married he was the most loving and kindest person. I thank God we have no children in this ordeal. I hate myself for still loving him and wanting to work this out. I have the support at my fingertips emotionally, mentally and spiritually. But I need a lot of work. I have nightmares, i cant sleep, i have mental images of him being intimate with other women racing through my head and I starting to find myself becoming bitter. I pray so hard to just get through the day and to block these thoughts. I have never in my life gone through anything so devastating and heartbreaking!
Hi 💢, sending you a lot of love and positive energy. The Relationship restorer(Dr Steve) who helped me with my divorce situation can help you out. He can help you with your divorce problems and restore your Relationship. I will advise you seek his help thanks....🙏💓
Cody 81 - I hear you my friend. Going through the same thing right now. I think it's normal to not be able to sleep well at certain times in life - this is certainly one of them. It will pass with time - maybe lots of time - but eventually it will pass. Sleep is something that cannot be forced. "Trying" too hard to sleep only leads to more frustration and more wakefulness. Peaceful acceptance of not being able to sleep and repeating the mantra - "eh, I will sleep again some day" is the way to go. It sucks. I know.
i have do days divorce break up. i know what you mean. the onlu thing that is kinad helping me right now. is to hear meditation till sleep. or hypnosis even tho i don-t think im getting hypnotize, the point is. that someone is talking and not your mind. so you are concentrating on the audio. it helps
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
I think it’s good to feel the pain of a heartbreak, it shows that you are not cold hearted. You don’t stop loving someone overnight, and for those who do, something is wrong.
I have been journaling everyday for the last 30 years- emotional journaling. I have PTSD, depression, anxiety and have been divorced for 1 year. I realized that journaling has kept me in a loop of my life… I am crying out for help for the same things over and over again. I’m pushing rewind and play everyday. It’s a horrible cycle. I am going to take a break from journaling for 30 days and see if anything changes. Thanks
@@Boxcar808it's getting better. The biggest breakthrough for me so far has been realizing that it wasn't her that I missed it was the relationship. Once I realize that it's been a lot easier to come to terms with and move on from the things that have been bothering me
I used to think singlehood was reserved for a special portion of the population. People who had a lot to do with their lives and were best forging ahead on their own. Now, I strongly hold the view that it is marriage that is for a special few. People who can remain loyal throughout all the changes their partners will go through in the years. People who are incredibly selfless. This is to say, if you know you have even one selfish bone in Your body, DO NOT GET MARRIED.
Agreed. The words I have heard for the past month have been cold, yet selfish. I always thought marriage was compromising and working through things but with today's society, it's we hit a tough patch, let's just get a divorce. The other divorces are from lying and infidelity.
@SadRahne sorry to hear that. I am going though the same thing but I infidelity happened on her side. I forgave but apparently thay was the wrong thing to do as she did the same thing again and started lying even more. Had to let go. It's hard but I keep asking myself whenever I keep thinking about it if I would really be happy if I had not let go
@@tonysunshine5727 There are always exceptions to the norm. But in general, I would not advise a selfish person to marry with the thought that marriage would magically cure them.
I solved this problem back in 1997. That's the year I chose not to marry. Now I'm 50 with tons of surplus income, hobbies, several awesome friends and I'm well on my way to an early retirement.
Wife told me 2 weeks ago today that she no longer loves me and wants a divorce and to move out, married 9 yrs..didn't see it coming..i am a mess..no job..no home anymore..just lost..feeling hopeless..
@@christianmedwid852 .Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
I feel you guys in the comments. I was only 5 years in with 2 young kids. I’m about a month out of the finalized divorce, and still I’ve never experienced anything this painful besides forgiving multiple affairs over the years I guess. Trying to figure out the whole single dad thing and keep myself together for the kids that depend on me every day is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Watching all my friends happily get married and have kids just makes me more bitter when I should be happy for them. Growing up you think “oh that won’t happen to me, my marriage is going to be forever” but sometimes no matter how hard you try it fails. I know people go through it all the time and people get through it, but it’s a harsh reality. I thought my marriage would be forever and it did nothing but shake the very idea of what I thought marriage was. How do people get through this and still have some faith in having a happy marriage one day without holding on to the “no one’s ever going to hurt me like this again” mentality? It just seems so out of reach right now.
I am in the process of divorcing from my husband of 5 years, together for 11 years. I alternate between feeling liberated, at the end it became a toxic partnership. Then feeling overwhelming grief, he moved on after a month and I am not there. I had to cut contact with him. This is a pattern of separation/reconciliation. I am angry, lonely, sad and like I said relieved. It's the weirdest experience of my life.
For everyone who had their partner initiate the divorce and end up with a new partner. Feel good knowing the exact same thing will happen to their new partner.
What you have no one to go to? I went through divorce and had to pull myself together on my own. There was no one and I had to protect my son and be strong for him. I had to navigate alone and deal with a tough job. It had no safety net. This is the reality for so many people too.
I love being married. My wife is my best friend. She is my lover. She is my anchor. She is my craziness. She means everything. I almost lost her this year due to my neglect and depression. Luckily I got another chance and it has been great. I know what it means to get divorced. The guilt shame embarrassment and worst of all the loss or death of what was once great. I have gotten another chance and I am happy. Please don't forget that marriage can be great if you want it to be. Never take it for granted and live every minute of it.
@@thosethickstringsit isn't that simple. When you're not feeling loved and cared for it is very painful. It is compounded when your spouse continues to isolate you and spends time drinking and drinking and spending time with their 'friend' and states it is because their 'friend' understands them. When you tell them that they need to stop drinking because that's elevating their depression and that they need to make choices to spend more time with the family and they tell you they're going to continue to drink because that's what they want to do. Then you become depressed and lonely and you feel you are completely unimportant to them.
My marriage of 10 years just ended. What really hurts my wife said she wanted to start a family then the next week she told me she didn’t love me anymore. I’ve never felt hurt like this
Don't give the slighest thought to "Surviving divorce" because you won't have to Reading your bible you find Jesus Christ gave us His word and promise saying He will not let man put our marriages asunder You can believe every word He says So we know no man can divorce us from our spouse,,,,,,,,,,,,, safe and secure from all alarm
This isn’t very helpful.... get sleep without drugs... hmmm? Don’t journal... put off feeling until later? Are you kidding? He stated things that need to happen... basically get over it. But how?? I would suggest a few things to all of you. 1. Start exercising DAILY! 2. Talk with trusted friends, but not co-workers or family. 3. Get a message if you can once a month. 4. Don’t start a new romantic relationship until you feel really ready. 5. Try to get some time to spend alone and away from people outside your home. It will take time to start to heal and it you may never be the same again. One thing he said is true; many many people go through this. So, don’t beat yourself up. Move ahead cautiously and realize that your head isn’t in the right place to make big decisions. Don’t go out there making bad decisions that you might regret. Take care. I feel for you. THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!!!!
I'm married to a narcissist. I love her and care for her deeply. We have a 10 yr old daughter. She had a 5 year long affair and has had ZERO remorse about it, I've been utterly devastated the past year clinging to hope, praying she would see my pain and have compassion. That day has yet to come. Most men would've left at the discovery of an affair, I had to be hospitalized and medicated because I was hysteric and in such grief I couldn't go to work. I ended up losing my job because of it, it consumed me. All the years of lies came together like a puzzle and it literally brought me to my knees. I still love her with all my heart and I don't know what to do
I am sorry for your pain. I hope you will get the courage and strength to make the best choice for you and for your daughter. Ask youself this, what advice would I give my daughter who is in the same situation?
Thank you. Found this really helpful and I love simple, straight-forward ideas. Sleep more seems common sense but I don’t sleep enough in general and can see I’m even more depleted now that I’m going through such a painful, life altering experience. Thanks for the reminder to be compassionate towards myself and to take better care of myself right now. Going to try to treat myself the way I would a friend going through the same thing.
I am going through the divorce now and the things mentioned in the video are easier said than done, especially the advice about the sleep sucks :D I guess it also depends on who initiates the divorce, in my case I was the one who was left behind and my soon to be ex is happy and in a new relationship already. I could not sleep well for a couple of weeks until I saw a doctor and got pills few days ago. But I am trying to be more compassionate with myself and stop blaming myself for everything. And just today, I decided to start viewing my divorce as a blessing and told God I trust his actions and plans with me. I believe time will show why certain things happen the way they do...
@@Tatiana-cd1vu I am going through a divorce myself. And it's the hardest thing in my life so far. I don't know what to do and how to start over living my life alone. I have some good days but the bad days are killing me from the inside. I am afraid to get really ill because this can't be good for my body and soul. I believe in God and His plan. The loneliness kills me day and night. Any advice Tatiana?
Devastating isn't the word, so sadly 'get sleep and some of these things here' mean well, but when your wife and marriage were your life and you have to call it because you gave everything and got little in return, the feeling of betrayal and waste is incredibly deep and overwhelming and it isn't a quick fix. When I see people get divorced and remarried within a couple or few years, it just means they really didn't have deep all consuming love, so they don't know what it means to some people. Years and it still hurts. So if this is the best from 'years of study', then sorry but it needs more study with people who were truly devastated by their divorce.
My trick to getting good sleep during divorce was to purchase an electric blanket - when the bed felt cosy and inviting I found I nodded off straight away - no fretting over sleepless nights and I felt much more able to deal with the break down.
Yeah, well you weren't arrested, or jailed for groundless allegations. As a woman, I also doubt that your friends and family abandoned you, saying "You must have done something, or this wouldn't have happened to you." Or "You deserved it because if you were really committed to her, she would have been happy." I'm kind of guessing, but I also doubt your children weren't taken from you. If getting an electric blanket was all you needed, you didn't have much to deal with.
Dear diary, My ex was a skank. She got pregnant a month after I left for deployment with a guy who was 60 years old (I was 32 at the time). I battled back and retired at 38....I win! MGTOW monk for life!
I did and still do believe in marriage although i was thru a very bad divorce and BESET with 5 other huge tragedys at the SAME time. Thru the ashes of a huge outa control fire,it still took a decade to get on track Everyones different and grieve/ suppress differently. Despite it all its about being with the right person, the communication but i believe the level or complete TRUST is most important. Trust and truth go hand in hand,they both build many positive emotions and you never have to remember what you said. Hang in there anyone in pain
I'm in the middle of this utterly painful uncoupling process. She is the love of my life, my true soulmate. We've been together since 2009 and married since 2014. The foundation of our relationship was special, unusual and deep. But now, after a "grace period" of 6 months, it's over. She doesn't feel it anymore and I totally understand her. My last depressive episode lasted one year and it left nothing but an emotional wasteland. She was suffering and seeing my true love suffer because of my behavior made my mental state even worse. With two kids, loads of work and other challenges, it's anything but easy to hold everything together and stay on the rails as a couple. I never thought that this deep connection could ever come to an end. Never. But it did and it hurts like nothing else.
15 years or marriage, 3 kids, I wanted and asked for help, she did not want to, 2 months after I was forced to sign those papers. I have never felt so much pain. Now practically I do not exist, she does not even care.
Your are so right when you used the word 'forced'. Yes, indeed, the divorce petitioner, forces, the divorcee to sign those papers...sadly, I can totally and completely relate...
Oh stop bragging LOL I'm glad your life is awesome stay that way unfortunately I got married and now I'm not because she is a narcissistic greedy selfish b****
My husband and I just recently decided to separate.we have no children,and part of me is glad coz I would hate to put a child through this.my husband was abusive and I finally mustered the courage to do what is best for me.I do cry alot and of course it hurts like hell but I know God will give me the strength to get through this and I feel my life will get better once I am done grieving.
Nice Video! Sorry for chiming in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you ever tried - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (probably on Google)? It is an awesome exclusive guide for learning how to stop divorce minus the headache. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my friend after a lifetime of fighting got cool results with it.
Nice video content! Apologies for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you ever tried - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (just google it)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for learning how to stop divorce minus the headache. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my mate after many years got excellent results with it.
+TEDx Talks Appreciate Video! Excuse me for butting in, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you heard about - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (do a google search)? It is an awesome one of a kind product for learning how to stop divorce minus the headache. Ive heard some great things about it and my close friend Aubrey got great success with it.
Kudos for the Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you researched - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (do a google search)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for learning how to stop divorce without the hard work. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my friend Sam after many years got amazing results with it.
Lovely video content! Forgive me for the intrusion, I would love your opinion. Have you tried - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (Sure I saw it on Google)? It is a good one off guide for learning how to stop divorce without the normal expense. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my friend after many years got amazing success with it.
you don't need a phd for thiss... but marriage is not worth the investment or risk in the present day, and when life turns sour, your best friend is a pilow. the brain is an incredible machine, give it a problem, and it'll find ways to solve it. look after it. enlightenment comes at weird times, under a tree, shower, in the middle of the night, watching youtube... have faith in yourself, and if no one comes along with you, walk it alone. your survival by itself adds utility to this world.
4 years married and 6 together. This is hard. Literally feels like my life is over. I left due to verbal and emotional abuse use and now I think I’m the problem. This has got my head all kinds of cobbobbled
I am not divorced yet but separated since in SC you have to wait a year to divorce. So I typed it up and this came up and I'm planning to move back to Tucson (where I'm from). Just thought it was funny. Separation has been hard. Lots of bad days and so I was looking up a video to help cope and figure out who I am since I feel lost ever since. I appreciate videos like this.
How are you doing? I actually found your comment on another video about happiness. I’ve never been through divorce or even had a long term relationship so I don’t understand your pain. But I hope you’re doing okay, or if not at least better than the day before. Regardless I hope in time you find the peace you deserve.
I’m currently in the beginning of my divorce with my wife of 12 years. I feel empty and depressed cause I still have hope we can work out but at the same time there is this deep strong feeling this is it and it’s over. I’m working out to keep my mind off of it but I feel I lost something and I can’t find it searching everywhere
I am absolutely sick going through my divorce. My ex is a severe alcoholic and it seems like nobody in the system is holding her accountable for her behavior as a mother. Everyone is holding me accountable for protecting my son from her. It cost 12000 dollars to have a limited supervised access schedule put in place and the kicker is that children's aid already revoked her privilege to be alone with him. Because I was in the home there was no court order leaving me to pay to get it done. And as an honest man i got screwed going up against a pretty little lyer in court. Shame on the system.
My ex chose divorce after 13 years of marriage. I tended to her needs. Did all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Ate crow from her mother every time she came over (which was often). She decided that the marriage needed to end. She changed her mind. She demonizes me constantly and I did nothing wrong. Marriage is a sham.
For guys considering filing for divorce. The whole process nearly killed me, but in the end it was the best decision I ever made. Female on male psychological abuse is real, and very dangerous. If you are considering it, and your spouse isn’t willing to get help, then my advice is that it’s time to bail.
Thanks for sharing. My marriage is broken and my wife isn't responding to my pleas for help and professional counselling. Her resentment is too deep and she has been stonewalling me each time I try to pacify her. An informal separation seems inevitable in a month's time which is the deadline that I give myself in hoping she can return to me. So I am trying to get myself mentally prepared for the worst and I feel hurt that she always guilt-trip me with her stonewalling.
@@MrCkm1971 she initiated divorce in end November, then moved out abruptly in December. I tried pleading with her initially but to no avail, then went into no contact for about 2 months. We recently sort of patched up but I am not sure where it is heading because the problems are still present and she prefers staying separately in her own house for now. Hope ur marriage can be salvaged, u may want to look up attachment theory, it may help u understand urself and ur wife.
@@Almsoo7 sorry to hear about her moving out. Stay strong man and thanks for the recommendation. We aren't separated quite yet but it's headed that way.
@@MrCkm1971 I suggest u discuss with her if a temporary separation will help u guys to see things better to let the resentment feelings subside, but not to the extent of heading for a divorce if both parties still have feelings for each other.
33m/ going onto 34. I am not going through a divorce but just haven't been able to get out of my own head, tackle my demons and reach my potential. All these points really help, especially the not journaling, as I am one of those people who brute. I am glad I stumbled upon your video and is actively working on pulling myself together. Wish me luck.
My ex was basically the lead in our relationship, I failed in securing a high paying job, not finishing college and just losing any ambition I had prior to our marriage. I felt so low and hearing her cry and say she wanted to end it I couldn’t help but agree and I regret it. We didn’t reach 2 years but I knew her for 6 years. I thought if I argued I had nothing to back up my words. But I’m also glad it happened to me because it just meant I had to become a better version of me in all aspects
I disagree with not journaling! Granted you cannot “wallow” too much, but you have to channel the emotions somewhere. Most people do not want your sadness, anger, confusion fostered on them. Of course, everyone has their own ideas about how to move on, but with this comes grief of “what if”, “maybes” and “why”. Everyone finds their way back somehow, but no one needs to feel guilty if they decide to write down their emotions. We live in cultures that ask how are you, but no one really wants to know!
I mean is there a support group for this stuff?? Married over 20 + years, grew to be friends only; my choice because I am no longer in love and have tried. It's over, but just would like a support group to know that I am not alone
Thank you. I am sending this to my sister in hopes that she can pull herself up before she loses her children. She has the sleep like a baby part down, but that is all she is doing. I’m so worried about her.
There are many components to saving your partnership. One resource I discovered that succeeds in merging these is the Pavs Partner Pundit (check it out on google) without a doubt the best plan that I've heard of. look at the amazing information .
How do you sleep like that baby if you are in your head? It's all very well to say don't take sleeping aids but then you need to say how to manage to get sleep without them. I haven't slept for 18 months and I think this is the reason I am struggling.
Amazing talk by Dr. Sbarra! Surviving divorce is a process and self-compassion is just the start of being able to recover to face challenges. Divorced parents should understand that they still have responsibilities to themselves, and especially to their kids.
Yeah except "sleep well" in that situation is pretty much the same as "don't cry while you burn". Diazepam helps, but I'm little better off next day than if I haven't slept at all.
Married almost 22 years and my marriage is over. I’ve never experienced this pain before.
Same here.. 22 years, the love of my life walked out to live with another woman. Hes surrounded by women and friends and is happy. My life is ruined and the pain is indescribable 💔 im sorry you feel like this too. Mine happened about a month ago too. We are identical in our situation, and I'm so sorry your suffering too.
I'm with you also Ferrum, 22 years and he switched up. However I could not and would not take it to heart. This was his undoing so we chose to walk away respectfully. 20 + years is a life prison term and we've paroled about. Time to live freely and discover yourself before the next relationship comes. It'll happen, you'll see. 🥰
Hi 💢, sending you a lot of love and positive energy. The Relationship restorer(Dr Steve) who helped me with my divorce situation can help you out. He can help you with your divorce problems and restore your Relationship. I will advise you seek his help thanks....🙏💓
Send him a text message on Whatsapp 💓
+2 3 4 7 0 3 0 8 9 4 8 9 2.
Sleep, such an easy concept, yet after 10 years of laying next to your partner, sleep doesnt come easy when they’re no longer there.
Hello friend, I can connect you to the powerful relationship healer that helped me get my ex back after separation, he can also help you..
Message him on whatspp.
♱18287990585⏭⏭⏭???????¿????¿???
So true
Exactly easier said than done
Divorced after 5 years known for 10 since 13. Hardest thing ever and the world has no remorse for you. Coming from a place where divorce isn’t common this was the hardest thing ever but i was tired of not receiving enough love or the love I felt I deserved. I now know there’s others out there willing to give 10x the amount of love I received in the past.
Love and prayers brother. I know that won't help most likely but what else can we do for each other when we are suffering? I hope you find peace very soon.
@@jon3464 love and prayers are mighty enough:) same to you friend
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
I have 2 weeks separated from my husband or 9 years, 12 yrs together. Our marriage had become so toxic. I had enough walking on egg shells. This is such a hard process. Especially with kids ....
Married 40 years
Death is better than divorce
I am trying to start a new life
Just as painful
Just as deadly
I absolutely hate my ex for breaking my heart
Hey come back and redo this speech after you've experienced my pain.
nicinacnoo You’re not the only one going through rough times.
My recommendation for Marriage 2.0 in today's world:
1) Subject to a 4-year renewal period (non-renewal results in dissolution of union)
2) Does not involve the state whatsoever
3) Terms of separation is based on post-nup signed during the contractual period
4) All parties represented by a taxpayer-funded family mediator, not an expensive lawyer with a vested interest in separating your from your money!
Hi, get help from Dr Steve to bring your ex back and attract your (SP) someone you love to you, you might have try others Spellcasters and they disappoint you, but I can assure you 100% and also staking my life on it that Dr Steve can help you and make your ex beg you for a second chance because he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. I will advise you seek his help now thanks.
Message him on Whatsapp
It has been devastating, the end of a life bc of his betrayal. But I’ve used this major transition as a reason for transformative change. To grow. To be better and have better.
I’m devastated. 2 little boys 10 years. I honestly don’t know what to do
How are you now?
Needed this. I’ve been with my wife for 5 years and married for nearly 3 (short I know) but few like I’ve lost the great love of my life. The person who meant the world to me in every way, I have a tendency to brood, self blame, and despair in an uncomfortable companion.
Hello friend, I can connect you to the powerful relationship healer that helped me get my ex back after separation, he can also help you..
Message him on whatspp..
♱18287990585⏭⏭⏭????¿??????????¿
I’m sorry mate, I know exactly how you feel. Hope you’re doing better 5 months on… I know I’m not!
I’m there right now and it’s brutal.
Wife who I’ve been with ten years left me ten months ago. Really painful that she won’t work on it, it’s hard to accept and let go
im 22,my dad actually told me not to get married, hes not even divorced either lol. he was just like dont get married u will thank me later son .
my dad never gave talks about that guess he wants me to learn that lesson on my own when I meet the right guy
MGE well said about the impatience.
I think there are alot of marriages out there that are just grinding along because divorce is so expensive.
Marriage really only benefits woman. When you think about it, the entire day is all about her, the dress, the hair, the bridesmaids, etc, Man has nothing to gain from being married. It's nothing more than a legal contract.
Best bit of advice a dad could ever tell their children.
My brother who is 22 now got told the same thing by our dad who has never married. He is a lonely man and left a lot of relationships as well as me before my brother came along. I am 10 years older and have a different Mum. To my brother, that advice comes from a place of heartbreak and bitterness and does want to get married. His Mum met a lovely man and now has a great step Dad. He lives and breathes marriage can be wonderful.
"No Jesus, No Peace In Relationships". It is a good read for relationship rescue.
Where did you find that hairball? My church ganged up on me and supported my wife's groundless allegations of child abuse, domestic violence, and claims that I put my daughter into the hospital. Kind a weird though, there were no hospital records, and my daughter openly said that she wanted to live with me... It didn't stop the pastor's wife from showing up at every hearing. I didn't stop the pastors wife from colluding, even pressuring my wife to go to the police to have me arrested on groundless claims.
Do I need to point out that Christ remained single? AND advocated to remain single? Yup, and ditto for Apostle Paul. You have been brainfucked by a gynocentric religious community that has been overtaken by women. Jesus never promised peace, the promise for truth seekers is rejection, and persecution. Just like, say Christ himself! Or Paul! Or the majority of the Apostles!
This book is a must read: Separation and Divorce-surviving with your children by Bridget Michaels.Very recommended! X
you are so right on, i totally use mindful self compassion always
Curious what makes David Sbarra an expert on Surviving Divorce? Try it sometime and then try your advice. Guarantee your going to delete this video afterwards.
There's a huge amount of utter toss being spouted on these comments. Divorce is a horrible, traumatic and at the time seemingly unending pain.
If you have an 'inner strength that pulls you up' then good for you....but stop talking bollox
Well said. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this video, I really needed to hear it.
Hello Karen
How are you doing, hopefully better.
Can’t believe it’s been 4 years since you posted this comment.
Would love to get a reply, take care and stay safe.
Hello
Been married for 8 years and been together for 14 years. One day my wife decided to start partying and it became a habit. Deserting our son nd I. She moved out and moved in with her baby sister and i filled for divorce. The pain was so excruciating that i was even admitted in mental ward.
I am going thru divorce right now. My wife leaving for basically no reason after 18 years of being with her. My mind goes a mile a minute and the last 30 days since she told me have been brutal. Hang in there man. I feel like i cant be happy again and question how i will go on without her. Focus on you and your son now. God bless
@@mgoddard1127 i am really sorry. I never thought some men are going through so much. I thought i was the only one cursed. I will surely hang in there.
@@mgoddard1127 my wife of 14 years abruptly left last week. I totally feel what you’re going through.
@@E87-y5j Hang in there man..
@@mgoddard1127 thanks. I think I’m still in shock.
Thank you. I NEEDED this!
Hello
as a former wife and unemployed woman. I use to so grateful for having a relationship. where we loved each other. young love turned to 30yrs. he never pushed me to work. in fact it was unspoken but he liked it. I was all his, no risk of competition.
but after thirty plus years. I realized he was kinda controlling, and I was tired of feeling like his child. and some physical abuseI i wanted out ....
now the divorce is in motion. and I'm beginning to realize being his lover, his dishwasher, his laundry mat, his personal trophy.
was that fair to ask for help to survive without him? I felt victim to the system that brainwashed me into thinking being a sex object, wife was a good living. gave me love a room, etc. still now here I was about to leave alimony. when I realized.
he will rebuild his life. I will have to go for minimum wage. now wait, in disabled from his damaginf my neck. but no ss. I know think every marriage is duffernt and circumstance. and general laws by state are insane.
yet another thought occurred, MEN made laws. and I DO DESERVE THE RIGHT to be provided severance pay for all the work I out in WITHOUT PAY. so now
he does not get my services free.
but what about his services, driver, garbage man, lover etc....
well he can marry and still keep the earnings.
but av woman marries, another guy will have to support her.
yet she sacraficed or gave into another investment that tanked...
point is.
laws are flawed. alimoney should be assessed....
and marriages should be sacred.
Suzi Hazlove try to establish yourself
Wait, you walked out of your marriage, but you think "marriage should be sacred?"
It's fair to ask for for help to survive without him, sure. It's not fair to receive it. Perhaps the support you received from him was a result of being married. Why should you receive support if you opt out of the marriage? If I quit my job, I'm not entitled to my wages nor am I entitled to unemployment.
I understand that you provided various services without direct (well...) financial compensation, but you could have worked at some point for some period with some advancement over the 30 years you were married, right? Or is that his fault too?
@@RussTeeTrombone she was abused read it
Wow. This guy is amazingly clueless. I usually find Ted Talks rather beneficial or interesting. This guy is on another planet and clearly knows nothing about what divorce is like. I found absolutely nothing in this to be of value. I want my 9:14 back.
This is a bit dispassionate and cold. It is definitely a part of the pain of divorce - expectations of making through it alone and without a blip to our productivity.
What the heck is Jan. 12th?
Awesome
Love this!!
Thank YOU
Survivorship guilt is relevant as a parent sure, but what about the children who feel guilty but aren't? What now seems relevant but is it a different approach for someone who has never had a lover?
20 years down the drain. Only to be told that she never wanted to be married in the first place.
21 years for me and I just lost my mom months ago😢
This is a fabulous video.
this is unbearable to watch
I am concerned will my wife be entitled to my pension ,ok so I have not actually met my future wife ,but I am sure when we do I will eventually hate her and split
From what I have heard they do since it's classed as an "asset", which needs splitting.
In this day and age, getting married isn't worth it.
Try the 100% free, no ads, nothing for sale website: holistic divorce counseling for support, comfort, and resources for the cosmic hazing of divorce.
Self love and self compassion- very good!
get a prenup
ɷɷɷɷ I Haveeee Watchedd Thissss Movieeee Leakedd Version Heree : - t.co/e6QlTccFx6
Wife hates me
warch coach corey wayne on youtube
She hates me too. Women hate men, but miss having someone around to blame.
Borinnnnnggggggggggg
Hello
Single women and lesbians (sexless broads too) had no way of participating in this payout scene.
The same lawyer driven legal system didn't seem as incentivized in treating their liberty taking employers like they were financially tappable soon to be ex-husbands.
They were just rich bosses profiting of a conspiratorially enforced unfairness after all.
Rich bosses are good clients.Revolutionary feminists usually didn't have two cents to rub together.
😲 omg
25 years next week for me and we’re in middle of divorce. I have days where I’m optimistic and days where I grieve to reconcile. I lost my 13 yo brother to a car accident when I was 11 years old, and there are moments when my emotions are worse than what I felt that day. There’s no infidelity, but there has been emotional neglect for many years that finally caught up with us. Combined with financial issues and work life balance issues, everything came off the rails. Good luck to everyone out there going through this. Regardless of the scenario the emotions are probably the same and we have to hope for brighter days.
Thank you brother. Going through a separation/ divorce after 11 years married. We came to the conclusion amicably after months of heartache and tears. I realized I can’t hold on or control any longer.
I agree there are days I’m excited and optimistic and resolute in our decision. Other days I feel an overwhelming sadness and grief. I can’t play the “what if” game. We must move forward for ourselves and our kids.
@cloubydoo How did it go? I'm going through this but it's been 12 years married, 16 together.
I delayed the process in hopes of reconciling, but in the end we were unable to find common ground. There was no partnership, she wants what she wants and there are too many years of emotional neglect on both sides that won’t allow for reconciliation. So, the divorce is reaching its final stage now.
@@RichardReeves-u2fthanks for asking (I replied in the main thread).
I am currently going through divorce with my husband of 9 years. It literally feels like death. The betrayal and all of this has seriously given me PTSD. I expected for my husband and I to be together forever and this happened! He was the only man I have been with. He just turned into a nightmare because of our issues. I was not innocent in all of this but I would have never thought of cheating on him like he did to me. The first time it happened I said ok we can get through this. But he turned it into a habit and said he wanted a divorce. He had it in his mind for a while that he wanted to leave and he finally did it. Everyone tells me its not my fault and he has personal issues but I still struggle with the guilt of feeling like I was a bad wife. I also deal with the guilt of loving someone that doesn't even respect me. When we first got married he was the most loving and kindest person. I thank God we have no children in this ordeal. I hate myself for still loving him and wanting to work this out. I have the support at my fingertips emotionally, mentally and spiritually. But I need a lot of work. I have nightmares, i cant sleep, i have mental images of him being intimate with other women racing through my head and I starting to find myself becoming bitter. I pray so hard to just get through the day and to block these thoughts. I have never in my life gone through anything so devastating and heartbreaking!
Oh justin, I am going through exact thing. How are you feeling now? Do you feel better now?
Hi 💢, sending you a lot of love and positive energy. The Relationship restorer(Dr Steve) who helped me with my divorce situation can help you out. He can help you with your divorce problems and restore your Relationship. I will advise you seek his help thanks....🙏💓
Send him a message on Whatsapp 💕
+2 3 4 7 0 3 0 8 9 4 8 9 2.
I'm so sorry. I'm going through this pain too. How are you coping
I just found out the cure for divorce... Don't get married.
100% guaranteed!
Just found out the cure to not die...don't be born.
Rey Louis I don't think you are asked, or you ask your mother and father to birth you?
i said that in my college class and everybody looked at me like i was some sort of monster lol when i said "dont want divorce dont get married" lol
Truth, couldn’t agree any more.
i had a divorce, it was the worse. your whole life stops
sleep like a baby? are you kidding me? I can't sleep worth a crap going through this. it's terrible
Cody 81 - I hear you my friend. Going through the same thing right now. I think it's normal to not be able to sleep well at certain times in life - this is certainly one of them. It will pass with time - maybe lots of time - but eventually it will pass. Sleep is something that cannot be forced. "Trying" too hard to sleep only leads to more frustration and more wakefulness. Peaceful acceptance of not being able to sleep and repeating the mantra - "eh, I will sleep again some day" is the way to go. It sucks. I know.
yea sleeping is the hard part. @cody81 but you right JC K it will pass in time, you got to be to give your self that time and not beat yourself up
Are you sleeping now? Tell me. Coz its so hard now, everything is fresh, and I dont know how to move on. Hurst so much.
i have do days divorce break up. i know what you mean. the onlu thing that is kinad helping me right now. is to hear meditation till sleep. or hypnosis even tho i don-t think im getting hypnotize, the point is. that someone is talking and not your mind. so you are concentrating on the audio. it helps
I didn't sleep good before. Now it's terrible. I can't sleep. I can't stay awake. How do you get past this?
22 years of marriage I never expected it end and I never thought we would just grow apart 😪 heartbreaking 💔
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
Hope you are healing! 28 years here
Same here. I hope you’re doing ok now
@@smurray7433 hello
@@sandramichaelson1272 hello
The best thing my ex ever did for me was to tell me get get out.
I hope one day i feel this way
Me too!😢
I think it’s good to feel the pain of a heartbreak, it shows that you are not cold hearted. You don’t stop loving someone overnight, and for those who do, something is wrong.
I have been journaling everyday for the last 30 years- emotional journaling. I have PTSD, depression, anxiety and have been divorced for 1 year. I realized that journaling has kept me in a loop of my life… I am crying out for help for the same things over and over again. I’m pushing rewind and play everyday. It’s a horrible cycle. I am going to take a break from journaling for 30 days and see if anything changes. Thanks
He is so so correct about sleep!! When i don't get good sleep, my propensity to go into infinite loops of negative thought is several times higher.
Started dating sophomore year of highschool, off and on a couple times, then married 24 years. Im so untethered
how are you going? in almost exactly the same place as you.
@@Boxcar808it's getting better. The biggest breakthrough for me so far has been realizing that it wasn't her that I missed it was the relationship. Once I realize that it's been a lot easier to come to terms with and move on from the things that have been bothering me
The only thing more sadistic than marriage is re-marriage.
Hello
I used to think singlehood was reserved for a special portion of the population. People who had a lot to do with their lives and were best forging ahead on their own. Now, I strongly hold the view that it is marriage that is for a special few. People who can remain loyal throughout all the changes their partners will go through in the years. People who are incredibly selfless. This is to say, if you know you have even one selfish bone in Your body, DO NOT GET MARRIED.
Agreed. The words I have heard for the past month have been cold, yet selfish. I always thought marriage was compromising and working through things but with today's society, it's we hit a tough patch, let's just get a divorce. The other divorces are from lying and infidelity.
@SadRahne sorry to hear that. I am going though the same thing but I infidelity happened on her side. I forgave but apparently thay was the wrong thing to do as she did the same thing again and started lying even more. Had to let go. It's hard but I keep asking myself whenever I keep thinking about it if I would really be happy if I had not let go
Horrible advice. I am selfish. I also met and married someone that changes that in me. It made me a better person. Now married 24 years.
@@tonysunshine5727 There are always exceptions to the norm. But in general, I would not advise a selfish person to marry with the thought that marriage would magically cure them.
Thanks to Dr David for bringing my ex love back to my life again with his powerful love spell. He can also help you❤
I solved this problem back in 1997. That's the year I chose not to marry. Now I'm 50 with tons of surplus income, hobbies, several awesome friends and I'm well on my way to an early retirement.
+Vention1MGTOW And I'm the dumbass who married the same girl i dated for 10 years. I'm 32 and headed for divorce, but i think I'll be just fine.
pathmanp1
Man, I'm sorry as hell. That's going to suck.
+Vention1MGTOW I hate you
+Mike Stanis Good for you.
+james lachs I'm joking, I'm trying to sound jealous and not literally angry
Wife told me 2 weeks ago today that she no longer loves me and wants a divorce and to move out, married 9 yrs..didn't see it coming..i am a mess..no job..no home anymore..just lost..feeling hopeless..
I feel the same...my wife had destroyed my life and I live abroad...no support whatsoever. Feeling hopeless and lost
@@christianmedwid852 .Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
@@christianmedwid852 .Message him on Whatsapp
I feel you guys in the comments. I was only 5 years in with 2 young kids. I’m about a month out of the finalized divorce, and still I’ve never experienced anything this painful besides forgiving multiple affairs over the years I guess. Trying to figure out the whole single dad thing and keep myself together for the kids that depend on me every day is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Watching all my friends happily get married and have kids just makes me more bitter when I should be happy for them. Growing up you think “oh that won’t happen to me, my marriage is going to be forever” but sometimes no matter how hard you try it fails. I know people go through it all the time and people get through it, but it’s a harsh reality. I thought my marriage would be forever and it did nothing but shake the very idea of what I thought marriage was. How do people get through this and still have some faith in having a happy marriage one day without holding on to the “no one’s ever going to hurt me like this again” mentality? It just seems so out of reach right now.
do not get married.
I am in the process of divorcing from my husband of 5 years, together for 11 years. I alternate between feeling liberated, at the end it became a toxic partnership. Then feeling overwhelming grief, he moved on after a month and I am not there. I had to cut contact with him. This is a pattern of separation/reconciliation. I am angry, lonely, sad and like I said relieved. It's the weirdest experience of my life.
13 years of marriage, then she stabs me in the back. SMH! 😡
For everyone who had their partner initiate the divorce and end up with a new partner. Feel good knowing the exact same thing will happen to their new partner.
What you have no one to go to? I went through divorce and had to pull myself together on my own. There was no one and I had to protect my son and be strong for him. I had to navigate alone and deal with a tough job. It had no safety net. This is the reality for so many people too.
I'm in the middle of a divorce and I can't wait till it's done
I love being married. My wife is my best friend. She is my lover. She is my anchor. She is my craziness. She means everything. I almost lost her this year due to my neglect and depression. Luckily I got another chance and it has been great. I know what it means to get divorced. The guilt shame embarrassment and worst of all the loss or death of what was once great. I have gotten another chance and I am happy. Please don't forget that marriage can be great if you want it to be. Never take it for granted and live every minute of it.
Your wife should support you through depression. No abandon you at your lowest point. All the best.
Hello
Hello dear
@@thosethickstringsit isn't that simple. When you're not feeling loved and cared for it is very painful. It is compounded when your spouse continues to isolate you and spends time drinking and drinking and spending time with their 'friend' and states it is because their 'friend' understands them. When you tell them that they need to stop drinking because that's elevating their depression and that they need to make choices to spend more time with the family and they tell you they're going to continue to drink because that's what they want to do. Then you become depressed and lonely and you feel you are completely unimportant to them.
My marriage of 10 years just ended. What really hurts my wife said she wanted to start a family then the next week she told me she didn’t love me anymore. I’ve never felt hurt like this
Omg that's awful! I'm so sorry! I hope in the future you find a wife and experience having a family with a devoted partner.
same boat
Ouch. My wife told me she wanted one more child, one day before she told me that she didn't have anymore feelings for me.
Don't give the slighest thought to "Surviving divorce" because you won't have to Reading your bible you find Jesus Christ gave us His word and promise saying He will not let man put our marriages asunder You can believe every word He says So we know no man can divorce us from our spouse,,,,,,,,,,,,, safe and secure from all alarm
This isn’t very helpful.... get sleep without drugs... hmmm? Don’t journal... put off feeling until later? Are you kidding? He stated things that need to happen... basically get over it. But how?? I would suggest a few things to all of you. 1. Start exercising DAILY! 2. Talk with trusted friends, but not co-workers or family. 3. Get a message if you can once a month. 4. Don’t start a new romantic relationship until you feel really ready. 5. Try to get some time to spend alone and away from people outside your home. It will take time to start to heal and it you may never be the same again. One thing he said is true; many many people go through this. So, don’t beat yourself up. Move ahead cautiously and realize that your head isn’t in the right place to make big decisions. Don’t go out there making bad decisions that you might regret. Take care. I feel for you. THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!!!!
I'm married to a narcissist. I love her and care for her deeply. We have a 10 yr old daughter. She had a 5 year long affair and has had ZERO remorse about it, I've been utterly devastated the past year clinging to hope, praying she would see my pain and have compassion. That day has yet to come. Most men would've left at the discovery of an affair, I had to be hospitalized and medicated because I was hysteric and in such grief I couldn't go to work. I ended up losing my job because of it, it consumed me. All the years of lies came together like a puzzle and it literally brought me to my knees. I still love her with all my heart and I don't know what to do
Brandon Watkins find out what MGTOW is all about
I am sorry for your pain. I hope you will get the courage and strength to make the best choice for you and for your daughter. Ask youself this, what advice would I give my daughter who is in the same situation?
My narcissistic girlfriend just left me for somebody else, she has zero remorse neither. Hope you're OK buddy
veg An archist they never regret hurting you they have too many options
Dump her
Thank you. Found this really helpful and I love simple, straight-forward ideas. Sleep more seems common sense but I don’t sleep enough in general and can see I’m even more depleted now that I’m going through such a painful, life altering experience. Thanks for the reminder to be compassionate towards myself and to take better care of myself right now. Going to try to treat myself the way I would a friend going through the same thing.
I am going through the divorce now and the things mentioned in the video are easier said than done, especially the advice about the sleep sucks :D I guess it also depends on who initiates the divorce, in my case I was the one who was left behind and my soon to be ex is happy and in a new relationship already. I could not sleep well for a couple of weeks until I saw a doctor and got pills few days ago. But I am trying to be more compassionate with myself and stop blaming myself for everything. And just today, I decided to start viewing my divorce as a blessing and told God I trust his actions and plans with me. I believe time will show why certain things happen the way they do...
How are you now Tatiana?
@@minaanim8206 much better, thank you :)
Don’t let that weigh you down my dear, you can find someone to always pour out your heart to, let it all out
@@rosasdempsey3229 thank you for your kind words, I have accepted to be alone if I have to and decided to just love myself first :)
@@Tatiana-cd1vu I am going through a divorce myself. And it's the hardest thing in my life so far. I don't know what to do and how to start over living my life alone. I have some good days but the bad days are killing me from the inside. I am afraid to get really ill because this can't be good for my body and soul. I believe in God and His plan. The loneliness kills me day and night. Any advice Tatiana?
Devastating isn't the word, so sadly 'get sleep and some of these things here' mean well, but when your wife and marriage were your life and you have to call it because you gave everything and got little in return, the feeling of betrayal and waste is incredibly deep and overwhelming and it isn't a quick fix. When I see people get divorced and remarried within a couple or few years, it just means they really didn't have deep all consuming love, so they don't know what it means to some people. Years and it still hurts. So if this is the best from 'years of study', then sorry but it needs more study with people who were truly devastated by their divorce.
My husband just told me he is done. The grief and pain I have is unbearable... I hope one day I'll be okay.
@AYODELE AGBEMUKO don't be ridiculous
@@moirasadventures3658 how are you feeling now? 🌹
@@moirasadventures3658 Thanks to Dr David for bringing my ex love back to my life again with his powerful love spell. He can also help you..
@@moirasadventures3658 mssg me on whatspp, so we can talk better
My trick to getting good sleep during divorce was to purchase an electric blanket - when the bed felt cosy and inviting I found I nodded off straight away - no fretting over sleepless nights and I felt much more able to deal with the break down.
Yeah, well you weren't arrested, or jailed for groundless allegations. As a woman, I also doubt that your friends and family abandoned you, saying "You must have done something, or this wouldn't have happened to you." Or "You deserved it because if you were really committed to her, she would have been happy."
I'm kind of guessing, but I also doubt your children weren't taken from you.
If getting an electric blanket was all you needed, you didn't have much to deal with.
Dear diary,
My ex was a skank. She got pregnant a month after I left for deployment with a guy who was 60 years old (I was 32 at the time).
I battled back and retired at 38....I win! MGTOW monk for life!
I did and still do believe in marriage although i was thru a very bad divorce and BESET with 5 other huge
tragedys at the SAME time.
Thru the ashes of a huge outa control fire,it still took a decade to get on track
Everyones different and grieve/ suppress differently.
Despite it all its about being with the right person, the communication but i believe the level or complete TRUST is most important.
Trust and truth go hand in hand,they both build many positive emotions and you never have to remember what you said.
Hang in there anyone in pain
Men go mgtow and chose another path.Don't get married.
I'm in the middle of this utterly painful uncoupling process. She is the love of my life, my true soulmate. We've been together since 2009 and married since 2014. The foundation of our relationship was special, unusual and deep.
But now, after a "grace period" of 6 months, it's over. She doesn't feel it anymore and I totally understand her. My last depressive episode lasted one year and it left nothing but an emotional wasteland. She was suffering and seeing my true love suffer because of my behavior made my mental state even worse.
With two kids, loads of work and other challenges, it's anything but easy to hold everything together and stay on the rails as a couple. I never thought that this deep connection could ever come to an end. Never. But it did and it hurts like nothing else.
im there also...hope you're going ok
@@Boxcar808 Not really, because she's turned into a raging fire demon. I just want to get away from her. Far away.
@@danielleinad6019 im sorry hope u see a better day
15 years or marriage, 3 kids, I wanted and asked for help, she did not want to, 2 months after I was forced to sign those papers. I have never felt so much pain. Now practically I do not exist, she does not even care.
Your are so right when you used the word 'forced'. Yes, indeed, the divorce petitioner, forces, the divorcee to sign those papers...sadly, I can totally and completely relate...
Divorcing within a year after 13 years, feel so bad.
I personally don't believe in marriage and my life is AWESOME. =)
Oh stop bragging LOL I'm glad your life is awesome stay that way unfortunately I got married and now I'm not because she is a narcissistic greedy selfish b****
My husband and I just recently decided to separate.we have no children,and part of me is glad coz I would hate to put a child through this.my husband was abusive and I finally mustered the courage to do what is best for me.I do cry alot and of course it hurts like hell but I know God will give me the strength to get through this and I feel my life will get better once I am done grieving.
Nice Video! Sorry for chiming in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you ever tried - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (probably on Google)? It is an awesome exclusive guide for learning how to stop divorce minus the headache. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my friend after a lifetime of fighting got cool results with it.
Nice video content! Apologies for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you ever tried - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (just google it)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for learning how to stop divorce minus the headache. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my mate after many years got excellent results with it.
+TEDx Talks
Appreciate Video! Excuse me for butting in, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you heard about - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (do a google search)? It is an awesome one of a kind product for learning how to stop divorce minus the headache. Ive heard some great things about it and my close friend Aubrey got great success with it.
Kudos for the Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you researched - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (do a google search)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for learning how to stop divorce without the hard work. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my friend Sam after many years got amazing results with it.
Lovely video content! Forgive me for the intrusion, I would love your opinion. Have you tried - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (Sure I saw it on Google)? It is a good one off guide for learning how to stop divorce without the normal expense. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my friend after many years got amazing success with it.
you don't need a phd for thiss... but marriage is not worth the investment or risk in the present day, and when life turns sour, your best friend is a pilow. the brain is an incredible machine, give it a problem, and it'll find ways to solve it. look after it. enlightenment comes at weird times, under a tree, shower, in the middle of the night, watching youtube... have faith in yourself, and if no one comes along with you, walk it alone. your survival by itself adds utility to this world.
4 years married and 6 together. This is hard. Literally feels like my life is over. I left due to verbal and emotional abuse use and now I think I’m the problem. This has got my head all kinds of cobbobbled
I am not divorced yet but separated since in SC you have to wait a year to divorce. So I typed it up and this came up and I'm planning to move back to Tucson (where I'm from). Just thought it was funny. Separation has been hard. Lots of bad days and so I was looking up a video to help cope and figure out who I am since I feel lost ever since. I appreciate videos like this.
How are you doing? I actually found your comment on another video about happiness. I’ve never been through divorce or even had a long term relationship so I don’t understand your pain. But I hope you’re doing okay, or if not at least better than the day before. Regardless I hope in time you find the peace you deserve.
@@chakiranaynaymorris260 thank you
I’m currently in the beginning of my divorce with my wife of 12 years. I feel empty and depressed cause I still have hope we can work out but at the same time there is this deep strong feeling this is it and it’s over. I’m working out to keep my mind off of it but I feel I lost something and I can’t find it searching everywhere
I feel you. I know this all too well.
I am absolutely sick going through my divorce. My ex is a severe alcoholic and it seems like nobody in the system is holding her accountable for her behavior as a mother. Everyone is holding me accountable for protecting my son from her. It cost 12000 dollars to have a limited supervised access schedule put in place and the kicker is that children's aid already revoked her privilege to be alone with him. Because I was in the home there was no court order leaving me to pay to get it done. And as an honest man i got screwed going up against a pretty little lyer in court. Shame on the system.
The system was designed to protect women, i am sorry you had to go through all these
The court system is against men sadly
Married 9 years started to end slow then all of a sudden. We all cope in our own ways!
My ex chose divorce after 13 years of marriage. I tended to her needs. Did all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Ate crow from her mother every time she came over (which was often). She decided that the marriage needed to end. She changed her mind. She demonizes me constantly and I did nothing wrong. Marriage is a sham.
My son died of depression during the divorce process with kids.. rip Tanner
For guys considering filing for divorce. The whole process nearly killed me, but in the end it was the best decision I ever made. Female on male psychological abuse is real, and very dangerous. If you are considering it, and your spouse isn’t willing to get help, then my advice is that it’s time to bail.
Thanks for sharing. My marriage is broken and my wife isn't responding to my pleas for help and professional counselling. Her resentment is too deep and she has been stonewalling me each time I try to pacify her. An informal separation seems inevitable in a month's time which is the deadline that I give myself in hoping she can return to me. So I am trying to get myself mentally prepared for the worst and I feel hurt that she always guilt-trip me with her stonewalling.
@@Almsoo7 hey how are things going now? I'm going through the same thing.
@@MrCkm1971 she initiated divorce in end November, then moved out abruptly in December. I tried pleading with her initially but to no avail, then went into no contact for about 2 months. We recently sort of patched up but I am not sure where it is heading because the problems are still present and she prefers staying separately in her own house for now. Hope ur marriage can be salvaged, u may want to look up attachment theory, it may help u understand urself and ur wife.
@@Almsoo7 sorry to hear about her moving out. Stay strong man and thanks for the recommendation. We aren't separated quite yet but it's headed that way.
@@MrCkm1971 I suggest u discuss with her if a temporary separation will help u guys to see things better to let the resentment feelings subside, but not to the extent of heading for a divorce if both parties still have feelings for each other.
33m/ going onto 34. I am not going through a divorce but just haven't been able to get out of my own head, tackle my demons and reach my potential. All these points really help, especially the not journaling, as I am one of those people who brute. I am glad I stumbled upon your video and is actively working on pulling myself together.
Wish me luck.
How are you
Hello
@@Jakeryanshow hello
Hello
Hello
My ex was basically the lead in our relationship, I failed in securing a high paying job, not finishing college and just losing any ambition I had prior to our marriage. I felt so low and hearing her cry and say she wanted to end it I couldn’t help but agree and I regret it. We didn’t reach 2 years but I knew her for 6 years. I thought if I argued I had nothing to back up my words. But I’m also glad it happened to me because it just meant I had to become a better version of me in all aspects
what did him lying on his back for 3 months have to with anything????
I guess that's when he became an expert in marriage? Or he's comparing that to being with another human being for years and years and years.
I disagree with not journaling! Granted you cannot “wallow” too much, but you have to channel the emotions somewhere. Most people do not want your sadness, anger, confusion fostered on them. Of course, everyone has their own ideas about how to move on, but with this comes grief of “what if”, “maybes” and “why”. Everyone finds their way back somehow, but no one needs to feel guilty if they decide to write down their emotions. We live in cultures that ask how are you, but no one really wants to know!
While the pain and devastation for myself has been horrendous, it is the pain and children of my children that hurts the most.
I mean is there a support group for this stuff?? Married over 20 + years, grew to be friends only; my choice because I am no longer in love and have tried. It's over, but just would like a support group to know that I am not alone
btw, the speaker's marriage did not work out due to his homosexuality. Not a criticism.
Lool
Thank you. I am sending this to my sister in hopes that she can pull herself up before she loses her children. She has the sleep like a baby part down, but that is all she is doing. I’m so worried about her.
There are many components to saving your partnership. One resource I discovered that succeeds in merging these is the Pavs Partner Pundit (check it out on google) without a doubt the best plan that I've heard of. look at the amazing information .
How do you sleep like that baby if you are in your head? It's all very well to say don't take sleeping aids but then you need to say how to manage to get sleep without them. I haven't slept for 18 months and I think this is the reason I am struggling.
Amazing talk by Dr. Sbarra! Surviving divorce is a process and self-compassion is just the start of being able to recover to face challenges. Divorced parents should understand that they still have responsibilities to themselves, and especially to their kids.
Yeah except "sleep well" in that situation is pretty much the same as "don't cry while you burn". Diazepam helps, but I'm little better off next day than if I haven't slept at all.