6 Ways To Stay (Semi) Functional During Depressive Episodes
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- Опубликовано: 10 мар 2024
- Depression absolutely destroys your ability (and desire) to get done what you need to get done - but you already know this!
Exhaustion, insomnia, anhedonia, worthlessness, brain fog. These are some of your adversaries in this.
While they cannot be stopped 100% of the time, this tool will help you dramatically decrease the damage done to your life by depressive episodes.
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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
But I do care.
People who don’t suffer with depression have no idea how fcking draining it is having to cope with it everyday, how it just makes you feel so tired all the time, why you take naps at any given chance on the weekend or after work.
It is exhausting.
What really gets to me is, the amount of advice you find yourself going over (books, emails, RUclips videos etc) is exhausting in itself. I end up doing none of those things and then feeling more depressed.
@0phs_x 100 percent true
Funny thing... a lifetime struggling with depression means there isn't anyone left in my life to help. Anyone i let see the depression leaves, so anyone i want to keep in my life can't be allowed to see the depression. Depression is a luxury i simply can no longer afford if i want to survive. NO ONE understands. They just smike & nod whike they back out of the room, then gossip to anyone who may know me. Vulnerability is not a strength. The weak gazelle just gets slaughtered. Many of us simply don't have a life that allows weakness.
Couldn’t have said it better myself
I know what you mean.
Yup, I can relate to this. Ending up isolated again and again.
No one knows 😢 they Are in their own shows. Helps me listen to this❤
Hi Fellow God creation you are not alone. If no one is there, God is with you. he resides inside you don't lose hope. Don't you think why you commented here for some help, right! that means you want to get out of this. believe me there will be definitely one day you will get out of this. you might wonder why I am commenting here because I went through all this nonsense stuff. you know what is real problem with us we want to get out of this but we didn't know the right path. that doesn't means you are lost. listen commenting here and there for help won't help you. you have to tell your situation to someone I am here to listen it. Let's understand what is happening with us,
1. We have fear of something of past or future actions, and what is fear it can be of losing something. Don't worry at the end you find that the fear doesn't have existence.
2. Fear of what society thinks, fear of physical body, fear of death... etc Don't you think you are thinking all your life about this things and still they are not happened with you. that's why I told you in first point this fear doesn't have existence.
3. Why you have to worry about the things that does not exist why are you wasting time thinking all time about it. I would request you please please please please stop it. no one will be there to lift your hand you have to get out out this by your own.
Now let me explain your role that God has given to you. "You are driver, who sits on driver sit"
1. God has given you a car to you. your ideal position is driving sit. this body is car and you are driver.
2. Why are feeling depressed because your are drunk with all this thoughts and driving the car, frankly speaking your mind[maya] wants to take driver sit. Don't worry! it is not big task to get that sit back.
3. Your role is to get that sit back and start driving properly. you and I don't know where the destination is our responsibility is to drive this car with super consciousness.
4. "Living long is not way to happiness" Don't you think greatest of all human kind Shri Krishna, Jesus, Swami Vivekanand, Bhagat Singh, Mahatma Gandhi why they renounced whole there life because they want you all fellow people to be happy. please please think about it
5. "This life is not for enjoyment" stop the things that you know are wrong. please I would request from my bottom of heart take a step forward and discuss this with someone.
At the end you existence matter for GOD. please take step forward to get out of this. Life is very beautiful when you get rid of this. If you want any help you can call me on this number 9579618186.
“But I’m still gonna say it…”
I love listening to this guy- so authentic
I walked around the block today
Then I did one yoga pose, then
One load of laundry.
Hopefully I’ll send out one resume today.
proud of you! Inspired me to do 2 pages of homework, thank you
I am in the same boat. Did just a bit of things. That’s a win for me
You can do it 🎉
Wow, good on you. I know myself how hard it is to do things. Baby steps 😊❤️
The suggestion and example he’s giving for what to do on a bad day is what I can do on a good day. On a bad day, priority is very basic health. Turn on the lights. Maybe take a shower if I can when I finally have to get up to go to the bathroom. Truly bare minimum. Usually I think this guy is great but this episode made me wonder if he’s met depressed people or just what therapists usually call “worried well.” The same principles apply - for example I buy bags of greens because that way I’ll eat them. It’s possible to just grab a handful when nothing tastes good anyway. And I go outside into the sunlight in the morning even if it’s just five minutes, even if I just stand in the doorway and don’t go anywhere. But the examples like listening to audible while you do laundry sucked. Laundry is for pretty good days. Sorry. One thing that helped was to notice when I don’t feel depressed and say it out loud so that I remember when I get depressed again that it’s not always that way. That it does sometimes go away.
OK. I managed to take a shower. Maybe I can wash the dishes next. Ughhh food.
I get this. Everything feels like a chore/task, including things that 'should be fun' like social get togethers, I do purely for my mom's sake 😒
Exactly everything's a fucking chore even food going piss whatever it's all fucking pointless
@@lucialuciferion6720 I'm glad u do it for your mom. That's so nice of you. But this mental disease is torturous. My heart goes out to you and all of us. I still have to do the dishes and it's like trying to climb a mountain.
@@brazydondada it just doesnt seem fair. I have so much empathy and sadness when I read comments but none for myself. I'm sorry you have to endure all this bs.
You're in my head.. ❤
Sleep, nutrition, and exercise, those are the "big three" that come up in almost every video I've seen of yours. I feel like even on our "good days" it's still difficult to keep all three in order, and when we're in depressive episodes it feels almost impossible, especially if we were never taught or modeled good habits growing up (my experience). I think I learned the hard way recently that I might never get my mental health to where I want it to be if I'm not taking care of these fundamentals. I walk my dog every day, try to get 9 or 10 hours of sleep, and try to eat three times a day/when I'm hungry, and yet I still have so much more work to do. It sounds so simple but that's what makes it so hard; when we're depressed, doing those things feels about as pointless and agonizing as watching paint dry or "trying to cut grass with scissors."
A mental trick I use that might be helpful for others is going into "parent mode" (I'm not a parent lol but my healing process has involved a lot of this mindset). I literally talk to myself like I'm a parent trying to get their kid to eat their vegetables, I tell myself "I need you to do this because I love you and I need you to get better/healthy and if you don't do this you will get worse and as the person responsible for you, I cannot let that happen." I know that sounds like a major oversimplification, because it is, but use anything you possibly can to convince yourself how urgent and crucial this is, because for some of us it might really be a matter of life or death. I have gone through severe depression and many depressive episodes as of late and I think this might genuinely be one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do, so I want to validate that for others out there who relate. Please try to do something kind for yourself. If you know you'll still feel depressed whether you do it or not, consider doing it anyway, because you might be giving yourself a chance you didn't know existed. If anything, you might prove to yourself just how strong you are in spite of how you feel. From one internet stranger to another, I'm rooting for you, I care about you, I believe in you.
Thank you. I believe in you too, and I'm rooting for us all. 🙂
Spot on 🎯 parenting oneself is the most helpful way to brighten up. Sometimes l end up laughing _with_ myself when parenting myself. It's a comforting and cheerful way to switch on the lights together.
✨️💫👍🏻
Nice words and good idea, I'll try it! Thank you!
This is spot on, the validation is much appreciated. Sometimes my internal adult is a big sister or auntie depending on the scenario. Sending you courage and stamina for this journey 🙏🏾
Keep repeating the basic steps: sleep, eat, move. Like brushing teeth, no need to complicate it or upgrade. Just keep doing the same thing like you did them when u were a kid ( hopefully)
I’m in the same spot so I can tell you “I DON’T KNOW.” I don’t know the answers. I’ve BEGGED/GROVELED for people to HELP and they just pass the buck telling me about the the existence of counselors/psychiatrists/psychologists. Gee I never tried that. Thanks for all of your “help.” Also the infuriating “I’ll pray for you.” Without doing ANYTHING.
Same here, I have begged for help organizing one room. Nobody will help.
Oh yes. My mom " you just need to grow some backbone" , or "at least it's not cancer, be thankful it's not cancer" . I just want to say " I wish I had cancer, at least then this hell that's called life would end soon " 😢 And yes ,she says she'll pray for me as well. It does NOTHING. I'm agnostic, I just want to be heard , just once.
@@lucialuciferion6720FYI- I’ve had cancer and now I have depression and anxiety (unrelated to the cancer)…I’ll take the cancer any day. At least then people show up for you. Everyone disappears when it’s a mental illness.
This is the problem with advice. People want to help but can't or won't provide actual help. It really pisses me off to have to ask for help and its only when im desperate and then I get shot down and regret asking
@@SoniaBonia33 Exactly. When it's a mental illness/condtion, people just think it's a 'choice' or 'self-imposed', that you can just snap out of it!
Is it still depression if I don’t even have the negative thoughts anymore? I’ve just gotten to a point where my brain feels hardly functional at all. I constantly feel exhausted and my mind feels listless, empty, uncomfortably quiet. Even stringing together coherent thoughts feels close to impossible at times. I feel like I’m barely existing.
I feel this so much, thanks for sharing. It's like you knock on your brain and no one's home. 😶🌫️
And I thought I was so alone in this but look at all of us. There's tons of us zombies stumbling around.
AND ALLLLL OF ZOMBIES WILL MAKE IT TOGETHERRRRR ONE MORE DAY AT A TIME...JUST LIKE THE SONG SAYS...."ONE DAY AT A TIME SWEET JESUS."
@@patriciaissa7935 thank you, 1st time I smiled all day
Most of my depression at this point are physical/non negative thought symptoms like that -- brain fog, leaden limbs, exhaustion, distractibility, apathy
Have some disposable plates 🍽 and cuttlery in the cupboard for tough days and the dishes aren't done but still need to eat
yes!
I’m very happy in certain environments. Where the future looks bright. But then I go home and feel this more
At home I feel it more too
Do you believe in God. My advice would be find purpose. Ull know why u doing things and what follows what
It's scary how easily things can fall apart because of this 😔
Thanks Doc. I feel that having my dog really helps me when I’m down. She gives me someone to talk to. Yeah, I realize that she doesn’t really understand, but a tail wag does wonders for me. She depends on me for everything. So that forces me to get out of bed to care for her needs, & she HAS to go out for a walk, no matter the weather. Sure, sometimes I can get annoyed with her, but her antics and companionship easily make up for any inconveniences. Honestly, some days I don’t know what I’d do without her. As the bumper sticker says,” Who rescued who?”
100% agree.
You're lucky that you have a dog. I don't have any pets, and I'm not allowed to have one either
In case this is helpful for anyone else: so I have a really difficult time with getting physical activity in. I mean, I used to do an hour of yoga a day and walk everywhere, but I’ve been depressed for years, so even like twenty minutes of yoga can be a stretch most days. And I have OCD so leaving the house for a walk is a whole thing-but, you can just take walks inside your house. Like, any phone appointment I have or even talking to a friend, I just walk back and forth from the living room to the kitchen and I can get 10000 steps in if I talk long enough. This has the bonus of encouraging me to reach out and have regular talks with friends as well. I don’t know, I realize how hard it can be to reach out to anyone when you’re depressed, so a podcast episode could have the same effect. I just wanted to add this since I’ve found it useful and someone else might too
I hope everyone is having as good a day as possible
Thank you so much Dr Scott for this video!
Good tip! I rely on my dog walks everyday and when it was too cold to walk in winter I ended up doing laps in my basement while listening to a podcast. 💞
Very useful thank you
I think it's finally getting warm enough where I am so that I can walk around my college campus for 15-20 minutes between classes. I got so good about that last fall, and then winter happened and it all went out the window. I hope you're having as good a day as possible too. For me, the world still sucked today but not as badly as some other days recently. I had a couple of meals, did a few errands, and did a decent job at work. That's a lot for me right now so yay me
Great advice, as I haven’t left the house in 3 days. Tomorrow will be 4 because I don’t see myself having the strength to.
Thank you, that's a good idea. I havent left my house in a long time
I woke up feeling like crap. I can't stop crying and I hate myself. Plus my husband doesn't get it. I am letting him down.
Welcome the tears, let them flow, slip into their softness like a warm blanket, float in their salty embrace. Let them carry you to a quiet place, a still pool-when you are there, look down and see your own reflection, and smile up at yourself with compassion. Water seeks its own level, and we all bathe in the same pool, to wash away the pain. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Just float for awhile.
@@don-eb3fj you are so very poetic. Thank you
In sickness and in health. Sounds like he is letting you down
Lost my 38yo gf to a sudden illness 4 months ago, after 14 years of relationship, and now feeling like shit. AFAIK it's not strictly depression, but I have no energy or will to do anything, even getting out of bed every morning is a very challenging task, so these advices sound very useful to me too. Thank you. And sending love to all of you reading this comment, I hope you'll eventually feel better
My heart goes out to you. And you still manage to write in comments here. Amazing.
Please find Grief Counseling to help you through this significant loss in your life. My Deepest Condolences for your Loss.
Right? I’ll say to myself, “ U need to shower today.”
I'm sorry for your loss. Grieving is something that not everyone in our lives can handle, so the quick advice give here is appropriate: a try for grief counselling could help. Mostly as a matter of connecting with others who are handling loss, My partner of 27 years passed away only a short time before the world went into pandemic lockdown-- if I hadn't tried to find grief counselling online, I probably wouldn't be alive today. Take your sorrow seriously, and I hope you find help.
Thank you all for your support and kind words
Ok, I admit that I don’t usually do any of this when my depression is deep. I sleep and eat junk food. But on “occasion” I have cooked a batch of ground beef, or chicken with simple spices and onion and package those in the freezer. Then you can make different meals with that base. Make Chilli, tacos, use as a pasta sauce, a sweet and sour sauce over rice etc. So the same but different meals without much effort. Pre-chop veggies and you have it made.
On another note, you Sir offer the best no-nonsense actionable advice in such a non-judgemental way. Hats off to you! 🤗 from Canada.
I hate going to the grocery store, but I force myself to do it when possible. One other thing - and this one, whether I'm capable of walking or not I must do it twice every single day, walking my dog, and there's also my cat, I must be there for them, they're always there for me.I don't know how, it's been like that for decades... Always my dogs & cats, my best friends!
Being constantly isolated from family and having to have rely on the "casualness" of friends ADDS MUCH TO MY DEPRESSION 😢
Being in a foreign country, doing this maid job with zero rights,no freedom, no movement except following direction. Can't even have a walk except being confined in one place. It really sucks but just for survival
My joie de vivre is gone. No friends, and no sense of safety in this world. How to keep going when I can't keep going..?
You're not alone my friend.
I’m in the same spot so I can tell you “I DON’T KNOW.” I don’t know the answers. I’ve BEGGED/GROVELED for people to HELP and they just pass the buck telling me about the the existence of counselors/psychiatrists/psychologists. Gee I never tried that. Thanks for all of your “help.” Also the infuriating “I’ll pray for you.” Without doing ANYTHING.
Have you tried cdb oil? Vitamin D? Glutathione? Magnesium? These help. From personal experience. I wouldn't say that it treats it entirely but it keeps you from wanting to tear your hair apart.
@@mem1701movies right? Just love hearing 'I'll pray for you'
For what it's worth, I'm in the same spot.
This is great advice. Baby steps can be so rewarding when you've been depressed for a while. After 10 years of knowing that I have chronic depression, I've also come up with some stuff to get some leverage:
Firstly I've learned to be quite generous with myself when I go through an episode. I generally allow myself to do only the tasks that feel easy that day. Some might feel hard today but doable tomorrow, so I just let the hard ones be and do the easier ones. More often than not, I will eventually do the harder tasks and I get there sooner when I'm not constantly nagging myself about them.
Nature always helps. Sitting by the water, walking through the forest or leaning against a tree helps you regulate your nervous system - and it's for free. Mother earth just has this comforting effect on us. I ca really recommend lying on the ground or leaning against trees.
When I'm too tired to leave the bed and do anything: meditation, especially guided meditation, breathing exercises, relaxation methods... you can do those lying in your bed, you don't need anything but your phone and youtube and you will feel like you did something for yourself afterwards. If I can't move my body, I can at least feel it, if I cant go outside and breathe fresh air, I can at least take a few deep breaths in my room.
Always ask yourself: what is the next tiny step I can take? Sometimes, it's just washing one plate or cleaning only the sink instead of the whole bathroom but even these tiny things can give you some dopamine.
Also, cut yourself a lot of slack and remember that it takes time to get out of depression and healing your trauma is the most important thing. So it's not all about getting as much done as possible but about giving yourself that time and space to heal. Depressed means deep rest, so that's why you feel tired all the time.
I wouldn’t say depressed *means* deep rest - but they rhyme. Maybe depression is a signal our minds need deep rest from the pounding they take from the real exterior demands of life and the negative self-talk we tend to engage in. Sometimes I override depressive feelings by repeating “depression is a liar…” until I silence the negative chatter and notice that on the whole life is pretty good. On the whole, I agree with your entire comment.
Fresh air is so good sometimes it’s underrated. I’m so sorry you struggle w this chronically. I am terrified to find that I do too as I go along a my psychiatrist for longer and longer. It’s heartbreaking, especially when I’m trying to do IVF to have a baby alone after 2 natural miscarriages bc I don’t have time to wait. Turning 37 on Saturday and menopause is expected at 38 based on labs. Eggs ruined unexpected by cancer treatment years ago. And that is my only dream. So I need to keep going. They get updates from my therapist all the time. I Also keep going for my dog. 💙💗❤️
That Is So Good ❣️
Juliz, thanks for a beautifully written comment that I bet will help a lot of people. You touched on so many things that I have found really work for me also. Especially nature and meditation. :)
@@DriftlessWarrior thank you! Your reply found me just at the right time as I'm currently feeling so bad about myself. So thanks a lot!
My best days are days with no media or screens, when I do something-ANYTHING-productive. Especially doing for orhers. It reaps an emotional reward for me far beyond the value of what I put in.
Like Scott says, writing priorities down in the morning-taking about 15 minutes to force myself to think about what is most important today-helps me A LOT. Even if I only do one or two of them…it must hit my dopamine centers or something.
Good comment..this is good advice.
Thank you, Scott. Honestly, I feel less alone in this just hearing you speak and knowing you get it. I recently made a 2.5 lb roast in my crock pot with onions, beef broth, carrots, and sweet potatoes with lots of awesome seasonings. I put half, or more, of it in meal-sized Tupperware containers (reusing sour cream and yogurt tubs actually) and loaded them into the freezer. They are still awesome when thawed and it relieves eating the same meal 10 times in a row.
Bravo!
You chose well with a pot roast! In my family those were rare Sunday dinners, so eating them was a special treat. You just special treated yourself for days!
Ooooohhhhj a roast!, yummy
If I have the energy, I cook two meals for the week and alternate meals between lunch and dinner. Sometimes I just cook (or buy) one meal and have sandwiches as my other meal. The bonus is that I rarely waste any food these days and save money on groceries.
This made me cry because Doc Ellers nails all my feelings at this moment. After 2 COVID layoffs, it's been a huge struggle to get back to work when I'm fighting to get out of this deep dark pit. And yeah, asking for help is just as much a reach for me too. He projects a lot of empathy, so THANKS for some good suggestions and ways of reframing the situation. Every bit helps.
Your self effacing is so refreshing to me. There are a lot of us drowning.
Tons of us. I never realized how many. We have each other.
So true about the gym, you don’t need one to stay active! My father who is 81 says the same thing 😊 He works out for about 20min daily using hand held weights (20lb dumbbells) and stretching exercises..
I have been in a depressive spiral since December. It's been the most extreme for the last few weeks when I haven't had the energy to get out of bed.
I am trying to do things! I try to have my morning tea. I try to ensure I've done small stuff like hygiene each day. I'm trying to read a book, but my retention is low and I get distracted. I try to go out with friends when I don't feel like dying. I futilely apply for jobs each day, which has 100% been a cause of my depression. Yesterday I was forced to do laundry because I'd run out of clean underwear. I mostly got the laundry done, but I didn't put it all away. I can finish that today.
I'm going to counseling each week. I tried to get more help from the local mental health clinic, but it's been a month since my intake and NO ONE has contacted me about ANYTHING. That doesn't bode well and reminds me of the last catastrophic time I tried to use community resources for help.
I think my worst problem is that when I am showing up, when I am asking for help, when I am doing the work and taking steps to get better, no one is doing their part of the bargain. They let me down. I did what I was supposed to. The other party did not. Setting up job interviews, ghosted. Trying to get more therapy, ghosted. Contact a company multiple times about a late payment, ghosted. Ask a (narc) parent for help because I'm really struggling, ghosted.
What gives? My trauma brain isn't giving me grief for not doing enough -- I KNOW I am doing enough. This has gotten me so triggered. I've jumped through all the hoops. I've done all the things. I am good enough. Why are there no results? I am flummoxed! This makes me want to give up more than anything.
Thanks, Dr. Scott.
I I I me me me
@@sg-zd8eb having a seizure there, buddy?
@@spacegirl226 I just don’t like selfishness.
@@sg-zd8eb I wasn't aware you were the pronoun police, and I needed to use other pronouns in a story that I was telling about myself.
I'm telling a story about my struggles in the hopes that other people can relate and see themselves. It's not selfishness. That you took it that way may be something you need to think about.
@@spacegirl226 this isn’t the place to “tell people about your struggles”. Save that for a therapist or someone that actually cares. Because nobody here on RUclips does.
Yeah and most ppl dont believe it they say youre lazy and to suck it up and deal.with it doesnt work that way tho. Depression is crippling it really takes a toll on the body after a while. Thank you for taking the time to make this video bless your heart ❤
six minutes in and I can already see that this is going to be another video not really connected to the lower half of the social ladder. Seems to me that being mentally healthy and functional is the domain of the financially sound. In order to get better through expensive treatment and all the right things, you have to be able to afford them. Having tools to make tasks easier is all well and good, but it seems like the more efficient the tool, the more expensive.
Every time someone tells me to go for a walk to help my depression, I want to get violent with them. Going for a walk is not going to change the fact that I'm in constant pain from medical issues, and that they are steadily getting worse and restricting my life further. That this is the result of other people's incompetance and wealth based attitudes. It's not going to change that I have to choose which one of the dozen important things I do this week and sacrifice the rest. and its not going to change that this is the summary of my entire life and the best I can hope for, all I can do is try to find enough distractions to pass the time.
I understand about the financial issues. I'm broke. Wealthy people have so many more choices than we do. Imagine being able to go for a massage. Going for a walk can pale in comparison to getting the kind of help that is needed, especially when physical pain is a factor. I understand why saying go for a walk can make you feel rage.
I don't have anyone to rip the sheets off my bed, blow a whistle and threaten me everyday to get up and DO something.
Without that luxury, you have one thing that will do that FOR you. You, yourself. There is no doctor, drug, or magic spell out there.
I feel ya. I’m at the bottom of the social ladder, no money for good therapy, living in poor housing with noise and damp issues, have no one to help me manage, etc etc. The issues seem to stack up by the year. I manage to keep going by focusing on basics but man, there’s only so far you can go in a situation like this! I wish people understood this more.
I've been going through this off and on since '09 (maybe longer) back then I was broke and miserable yet today I make very decent money. . . Buuut Im still miserable and blow it all on opiates and still have nothing to my name at all while owing the IRS big time and whatnot. I'm gonna try to get better but I feel like even if I have a million dollars I still can't bring myself to do anything beneficial for my life which shows how little I care about myself. Good luck y'all it's a struggle but might as well play the game I guess
My sisters and I have said just that. If we hadn't had the pandemic, we wouldn't have grocery pickup and delivery. That has been a blessing for families that still can't go out because they have auto-immune diseases or a number of co-morbidities or cancers, etc. There are still those that don't care if they pass on a virus or flu. But there are those of us that do, or can't afford to get sick. Good points all around. Thank you.
Conclusion: if you have more money, it's easier to go through a depressive episode.
Joking aside, thanks for the tips! Meal prep is a great idea. I'm thinking even to prep when I'm more functional, package in make, dump it in the freezer for a future bad period.
Casseroles are a lifesaver.
Tons of recipes, easy to make, freeze in small batches, thaw out for a rainy day.
Yes, disposable income would make certain things simpler. Having laundry and a dishwasher at home makes life possible. Eating healthy prepped meals on a budget is a big issue. 💞
I mean, that's true of almost everything lol not just depression
Advice for those of us who have turned to our friends and family for help during a depressive episode and realize we have no one to turn to? And no money to outsource anything (no income currently).
I could use that advice too. No job. Very little money. I would love to be able to outsource. Sounds like heaven.
Simplify, limit your responsibilities, make things as easy as possible for yourself, do things in bits, do things when you have high energy, do things a little as you can
Be kind to yourself. Dont guilt trip.
I don't have a single friend left. Trauma has wrecked everything and I have no value
@@katydid6920same 😢 i texted 40 people the other day that i felt like ending things and not a single reply. But back when i was gainfully employed people texted me all the time to ask how work was going. People in America only value what you contribute to capitalism, i don’t have a single true friend who loves me when I’m broke
I walk around my apartment while listening to tunes on You Tube for several hours a day.
It is my own comfort zone.
Gyms are awful. I get anxiety going there. But walking at home is so perfect for me.
Also, when the weather is warmer, I do walk at a former amusement park now a walking place.
Good idea. I discovered on RUclips something called circle walking. Looks good.
The ride-on mower will probably even give you a kick of dopamine too since those things are fun as hell. :)
Add beer cup holder!
Just cannot join the live discussions. It's too peoplely there. lol. I am so glad Dr. Eilers posts the full video later :) What keeps me going is having a small dog and a loving cat that need me to ensure they are taken care of daily.
I have depression and ADHD, so waiting for a kettle to boil is a massive task when I’m depressed, not to mention a safety hazard if it boils dry. I bought a smart kettle that connects to my wifi and has boil dry protection. As long as I remember to pour water in the night before, I have hot water for tea or coffee every morning. If I forget to pour the water the night before, the kettle shuts down automatically. That’s may seem like a small thing, but having a kettle of freshly boiled water every morning vastly improves my quality of life and encourages me to get out of bed.
Facts. That morning coffee is everything lmao
I really like how you don't f*** about with the nitty gritty of proper depression. Loads of people just skirt around it but you actually get your hands dirty.
Grocery delivery has been a life saver during my last year of depression and DV. Fighting to get out of it. I majorly blew a job interview last Friday. Miss read the time and was dismissed from all nursing positions in our hospital and associated clinics. Trying to recover from that blow now. Encouragement is appreciated. Blessings to all.
What about having such bad brain fog that you can walk around looking at the dishes but your brain doesn’t tell you they need to be washed so you walk right past them. And that happens for weeks or months at a time?
No. I mix up days of appointments. I see the dishes, & get sad. I have PTSD, Fibromyalgia, Auto Immune thyroid, it’s too low. All cause the same symptoms. I got 3x , BAM!🤣☠️🤣☠️🤣☠️
This is what helped me, and it seems counter intuitive, but it's the only thing that's ever worked for me, maybe there's something you might find useful or that you can tweak: forgetting the pile and just focussing on washing up one thing every morning as my kettle boiled, I started with the rule of not leaving things in the sink, somewhere else was okay for now, just not the sink so I could at least wash up one thing a morning (eg. the coffee cup I'd just used), then eventually two things each morning (cup and teaspoon), then only the four things I used for breakfast each morning (cup, teaspoon, cereal bowl and spoon), then those four things plus one other thing, then added washing one thing I'd just used while waiting for something to heat up in the microwave at lunch, then two things, an extra thing from the pile... and so on, working up to a rule of making sure I emptied the drainer before washing up (that was another place things would pile up and I'd just use things straight from the drainer). I did each step for a week or so, and now I've cleared my stacks and managed to never let things stay in the sink but wash them as soon as I can after using them as I'm making anything so there's never much of an accumulation of stuff to be done. I need to make sure I don't leave anything to be washed up, I have to wash up what's left pretty soon after I finish eating because otherwise I find it becomes harder to get back to it and it builds up before I realise.
Just doing the absolute minimum of the new incoming stuff even though it felt ridiculous and pointless when there were piles of stuff really helped gradually shift that overwhelm of feeling it all has to be done right now that stops anything at all getting done. I think I got this technique from "How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. I hope this might help somehow.
1. Nutrition, meal prepping, grocery pickup or delivery
2. Physical activity, exercise, Stay physically active, no equipment needed, can follow a RUclips video. Will really help your mood.
3. Engagement with things you enjoy, like reading, hard to do when depressed like all of these things. Try to remember and integrate the information.
4. Remove and prioritize items on your list of things to do. Focus on the most essential items. Don't try to do it all. You might cut out 2/3 of the items.
5. Use task stacking: Listen to a podcast while you do the laundry. Take a walk, with a friend.
6. Ask for help with the things you need. Outsource. Get support. Pay for services if you can, like having someone mow you lawn.
If you can keep a bare level functioning, the most essential parts of your life, it will give you a tremendously powerful weapon against depression.
Thank you for summarising for us you beautiful human being ❤🙏🏼
Really needed this now, last 5 days spiraling downward fast.
Feel about as bad as a year ago.
Have an appointment tomorrow with my psychologist so I need to get through the day and hopefully I can get out of my episode with his help.
In the meantime I hope just listening to you helps a bit, the points you mentioned I already know and practice.
Except for the last one, also have a huge problem asking for help.
Although asking my shiftleader if it's okay to take a sick day because of my episode is also asking for help I geuss.
Btw, I'm from the Netherlands so for me it's not an problem to take sick days when I need to and almost everyone at work knows I'm in a depression including the management, I can and am very open about my situation.
I understand that in the US it's not that easy or maybe it depends on were you live and/or work in the US.
Last thing, I would like to ad on your analogi of cutting the grass.
You can also cut the lawn up in sections, it doesn't need to be done all at once.
If you can great, if not also great.
For me I'm trying to paint my walls and sealing, I'm doing it little by little when I'm able.
Already at it for months, finished the kitchen but still need to do the most of the living room.
Today the only thing I did was taping off the sections that doesn't need to be painted with the colour I'm using now and hopefully I manage to get myself starting painting again this week.
Just curious, how do psychologists deal with depression in the Netherlands? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is big with psychologists here in the US but it only helps so much.
@Kaia6485 Finally could make some time to answer your question, sorry it took so long.
I'm not a psychologist so I don't now if Cognitive Behavior Therapy is big here in the Netherlands but it is wat I get at the moment and I also know a few other people that are having this therapy.
So it seems like it.
(Short answer, the rest follows later)
@Kaia6485 The way I look at it is that this therapy is more like a first aid to make sure or at least try to get you not feeling worse to a point that you will actively going to hurt yourself or maybe someone else.
They will try to give us the tools to not get in a depression and recognize when we are slipping in to one and deal with as soon as possible before it's getting to bad.
For some that therapy will be sufficient but I think that most of the problems has an underlying cause.
Like me they think that I have ADD and maybe also a form of autism.
I'm on a waiting list to get tested for that and if those are the root of the problems then ofcourse my psychologist is going to adress that.
Don't know if that will be another kind of therapy thow.
Maybe I can ask my psychologist about this next time I see him.
Further more being susceptible for depression is not like a disease that you can fix with some medication, it's more like a disability that your stuck with for the rest of your life.
You have to acknowledge this and come to terms with that fact just like someone with a psychical disability.
You can also hear it @Dr. Scott Eiler saying in many of his videos that he also still have to deal with it and he is a psychologist, so if there was a cure for it to fix it for the rest of your life he probably would know.
That's why the therapy only helps so much, it's not to fix your condition but to deal with it for the rest of your life.
This is how I look at it atleast.
@@michelhaak3406 All makes sense. Thank you for answering my question.
I desperately need Anxiety relief. Vivisected. It’s the only word I can think of to describe how I’m feeling - vivisected. As though someone has cut me open with a scalpel, the pain not sinking in until the flesh begins to separate and my blood bubbles out. I can hear the crack as my ribs are flayed open. Slowly, my organs, wet and sticky, are pulled out of me one at a time. Until I am hollow. Hollow and yet, in excruciating pain - still alive. Still. Alive. Please God, stop this anxiety...
I'd take excruciating pain any day over this depression/OCD void. At least I'd feel something else inside other than constant numbness/emptyness.
I'd take the numbness over daily, months long excruciating pain, wanting to die, feeling so guilty at not being here for my kids, so I stay and suffer endlessly...nothing fixes this...11 mos. now.
I so hope you can find something that helps you out of this hell you're in. Much love to you. Peace.@@lucialuciferion6720
Yesterday, I put noise-cancelling headphones on and put a blanket over my head while meditating for 20 minutes (i.e. intermittently repeating the word "this" in my head). The Crappy Childhood Fairy guided me to this practice.
Accept your feelings I guess? But I get it. Constant anxiety is awful. Just wanted to say that I learned that the resistance is worse than the actual feeling beneath it.
With anxiety, I've learned to focus on my body, really feel myself in my body and feel the fear. It's important to focus on the feelings in your body, not your thoughts. Try to center yourself in your upper belly and chest area, take deep breaths and allow yourself to feel. Practise this for 20 minutes a day (or however long you want) and learn to accept everything that comes up, your heart beating fast, tight chest or throat, numbness, resistance.. if you find yourself in the mind, just go back to the center and the feeling. Let the fear move through your body. You will ultimately be less afraid of it which will make it a lot easier to bear. I learned this technique from my therapist who is a great teacher. Not sure if it's easy to learn without guidance though.
I can also recommend tapping. Look it up, there are lots of videos on here. It's easy to learn and highly effective. Calms the nervous system down in about 20-30 minutes.
I can't tell whether I think I'm worthless or just have no desire to have worth .-.
Thank you for the care you show in communicating, especially when so many really struggle with perception during depression.Its been a hard journey ,but i really appreciate the vulnerability and compassion you show.Sometimes just knowing you're not alone in it all can make a small difference in and of itself .Thank you
Personally the only thing that has ever worked for me was an audiobook.
If I find one I want to listen to, its low effort and passive. perfect for when I either hate everything or everything feels exhausting. The spin I put on it, is I only allow myself to listen to an audiobook while walking. So if I want to hear the next part of the story and its the only thing even remotely interesting to me, I find myself begrudgingly going for a walk just to hear the next part of the story and it starts a rock rolling that tens to pull me out of week long funks.
I only like audiobooks about revenge, vengeance, death, destruction, zombies and the apocalypse.
Audiobooks featuring cops, detectives, and happy endings make me puke.
Yes it is so draining. Feel all this. Dr Scott, it is so important what you are doing. Thank you so much.
I discovered your channel at the right time and find your videos very helpful for trying to move forward at a low point on my life. Thank you for all you do!
I love your honesty, Dr. Eilers, as well as your candidness.
Just listened to this really well-prepared but sincere segment. Thank you. There are some gems there. I hope it reaches more people. Take care!
I’ve learned to keep some healthy things on hand: eggs to scramble with frozen chopped spinach or hard boil. Peanut butter on celery, apples, bananas or bread; tuna, nuts and raisins or frozen meals. When I get depressed I can’t even eat out.
I needed this today! Thx! Especially the asking for help bit...the fact that you (as a therapist) feel the EXACT same as I do...that was really encouraging to hear.
This is thousend percent true. During the recovery from depression episode, I came to the very same conclusions as stated here. I started using google calendar even for chores that reoccure regularly but in different time periods, so I do not think aboud them anymore, google keeps reminding me about them. Thing about foood, also, i do not care about eating several days a same thing if that will release me from cooking every day, which I hate and stresses me a lot. And it goes for everything in this video including prioritizing things. Thank you for validating that I am doing correct things to help me never to go back to the state I was.❤❤❤
Your videos help me a lot with understanding my depressed teenage son.
He's very behind at school at the moment even though he's super smart, he currently has an "F" in most of his classes and oftentimes I can't even get him to go to school.
I get frustrated with his behavior (and sometimes also blame myself)- but listening to your videos and you describing all the symptoms of depression and how hard it truly is to get things done in this state of mind helps me to feel more compassionate.
I'm also realizing how important it is to focus on all the little steps and wins that are still there.
Like today, he didn't go to school, but he worked on an english assignment that he refused to work on yesterday. I can see more clearly now what an effort it actually is for him right now. Thank you for all of your tips and explanations, it's all very valuable! I like how you explain everything clear and to the point.
Thats great advice (as we are used to from you 😊) I like the idea of shortening the to do list when you have depressive episodes. I get so overwhelmed with everything I'm 'not' able to do and sometimes I don't even have a list I just feel overwhelmed about doing EVERYTHING - instead of actually just making a list of what really is essential .
This is good stuff. It made me realize I developed many of these skills over 40+ years of episodic depression. The last one to develop was getting help when I realized people exist who want to help. It requires not being a victim and being willing to be specific and intentional.
I do meal-prepping, but I also make sure to have something quickly prepared at home for the days when im out of lunch boxes but dont have energy to cook. This has made my life a bit easier.
I need to hear this 💯 ❤
Yes i need to evaluate my nutrition and physical exercise. 2 big things i neglect! I'm celebrating however that 2 out of 6 isn't so bad. I'm guessing once i get these 2 into action my state of mental health will improve some. Thankyou for sharing your vulnerable space with us. ☺️🙏🏼
Clare-New Zealand
Thank you, thank you for all you do!! You have been a lifeline for me… hope!
I also deal with bad daydreams along with depression.
Anyone else daydream of dying. All the different ways it could happen and how it will happen?
I really dislike it, but I often have very bad thoughts about seeing myself that way, along with thinking and daydreaming of what it would be like if I wasn’t here to begin with. How life would have been better for others and if I never had been here for my parents.
Thank you for sharing this... This is exactly how I've been feeling and very hard to explain it to other people..
Thanks for the great information!😊
Your information is always spot on. Thank you so much for sharing what you do. The validation alone is priceless!
This talk came to me at the most perfect time. Thank You ! ! !
Once again, another great video. I feel like you’re talking to me one on one cause you are so spot-on! Thanks a million!
I'm not the most functional lightbulb in the room with a thousand more functioning light bulbs. It's like when Nikola Tesla and that one guy (I'm not good with names) fought over light bulb patents and in the end one lived their lives with zero dollars in their pockets and the other lived life with prosperity. They say that the grass is greener on the other side, but right now, or I think for now that isn't true, and that's probably tossing into the equation that sometimes, or maybe on most days, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Anyway, thanks for this video. We appreciate your insights. You'll always have our support.
Then other people tell you that you are lazy . It makes things harder.
Screw 'em. You know you aren't lazy, and you don't need their approval.
I got told I was lazy most of my life. But I knew the truth. I wasn't lazy. I was exhausted from no help and from abusers. If the people who call you lazy are abusive jerks, consider the source and pay them no mind. Take your power back and know the truth.
Thank you so much for helping me through .
Thank you Dr. Scott ❤
thank God for having been institutionalized a month ago
not because I wouldn't have survived, but because now I have another perspective
It was very helpful. Thank you. ♥️
Thanks for the 6 things! I'll take all the help I can get.
These are good tools. I've tried some of them already, and they do help. 😊
Excellent advice thankyou
Consider our problems might be too big for other people to navigate. Mine are, my family’s are. we are chaotic and out of control, they are not.
Unfortunately, the wise people understand that there is a PATH to getting out. And we have to intentionally start down that path. I am really struggling here with that myself, and with one of my kids. 🙁 The reality is this last week I did not exercise, I did not eat well, I spent way too much time on screens, and was totally immersed in other people’s really negative situations. And I am totally down today. The path out is something Scott has talked about a lot- today I need to exercise, try to eat at least one good healthy meal, get in the sun, not eat junk, stay off screens and find positive people and things to be around.
I got chickens and goats to feed twice a day to force me to get up everyday..even if it's the only thing I do...I also found their antics a distraction sometimes. Admittedly somedays I honestly don't think I can get out to the barn to feed them, but know they will starve if I don't, so the effort is made.
I’ve been in and out of depressive episodes a lot lately - mostly due to my eldest child having ODD - but one thing I struggle with is to ask for help - except paid help (psychologist/GP/Paediatrician etc)…I don’t like to share how I am feeling or what I am going through (when I am really low) with friends because I don’t want to burden them with my stuff. I’m sure they have their own stuff. They don’t need mine too. So I get that it feels “gross” - I felt that.
I did manage to be productive after a long while of being unproductive (mostly in relation to self-care & home maintenance )…I set a 10 min timer for mowing the lawn (after the paid option fell through) and did what I could in that time…then came back the next day & did it again. It’s quite a big job and takes a huge amount of energy and it has been stupidly hot or constantly raining so there hasn’t been a lot of opportunity…but breaking it up into a smaller task helped a lot.
I’m glad you’re happy with it.
I don't know if I suffer from Depression or my life just sucks.
Someone said, depression comes when we're not living our full selves. Or something like that. Depressin can definitely show you that you need to heal parts of yourself, and when you do that, your life will become more fulfilling.
Hi Fellow God creation you are not alone. If no one is there, God is with you. he resides inside you don't lose hope. Don't you think why you commented here for some help, right! that means you want to get out of this. believe me there will be definitely one day you will get out of this. you might wonder why I am commenting here because I went through all this nonsense stuff. you know what is real problem with us we want to get out of this but we didn't know the right path. that doesn't means you are lost. listen commenting here and there for help won't help you. you have to tell your situation to someone I am here to listen it. Let's understand what is happening with us,
1. We have fear of something of past or future actions, and what is fear it can be of losing something. Don't worry at the end you find that the fear doesn't have existence.
2. Fear of what society thinks, fear of physical body, fear of death... etc Don't you think you are thinking all your life about this things and still they are not happened with you. that's why I told you in first point this fear doesn't have existence.
3. Why you have to worry about the things that does not exist why are you wasting time thinking all time about it. I would request you please please please please stop it. no one will be there to lift your hand you have to get out out this by your own.
Now let me explain your role that God has given to you. "You are driver, who sits on driver sit"
1. God has given you a car to you. your ideal position is driving sit. this body is car and you are driver.
2. Why are feeling depressed because your are drunk with all this thoughts and driving the car, frankly speaking your mind[maya] wants to take driver sit. Don't worry! it is not big task to get that sit back.
3. Your role is to get that sit back and start driving properly. you and I don't know where the destination is our responsibility is to drive this car with super consciousness.
4. "Living long is not way to happiness" Don't you think greatest of all human kind Shri Krishna, Jesus, Swami Vivekanand, Bhagat Singh, Mahatma Gandhi why they renounced whole there life because they want you all fellow people to be happy. please please think about it
5. "This life is not for enjoyment" stop the things that you know are wrong. please I would request from my bottom of heart take a step forward and discuss this with someone.
At the end you existence matter for GOD. please take step forward to get out of this. Life is very beautiful when you get rid of this. If you want any help you can call me on this number 9579618186.
Food: 1) Freezer full of the steam-in-bag green beans or broccoli or whatever. 2) Cupboard has lots of cans or foil packs of tuna, chicken, salmon, etc. 3) Stick of butter in fridge, pre-cut into 1 tbsp. pieces and stored in a baggie. 4) Salt, pepper, whatever spices you're in the mood for. Start the bag of veggies in the microwave and dump meat/butter pat/spices in a bowl while the microwave is running. Dump the hot veggies on top of the other stuff and stir it around. Boom! Five minute nutritious meal! :D Water to drink. Lots and lots of water, all day long. :D
I’ve seen and know depressed people who can’t wrap their brain around meal prepping and tend to eat junk food to get by as comfort food. True. Same with exercise planning, going out, organizing, reading, etc… trying to shed some reality on this video that needs help to relate to others out there.
Your lawnmower metaphor explains "leverage" well for this application💯
TV dinners on hand can be helpful for nutrition
Thank you.
Thank you 😊
Thank You so much ❤
Very helpful video. I just recently found your channel and like the videos. But there is one thing I’d like to recommend, some captions or onscreen text. For example, in this video you mentioned a psychology term that I think defines something I’ve been interested in but I can’t determine the spelling from what you said. There is half a screen of white wall to your right while viewing that could be used for onscreen notes, your left when facing the camera. I hope you’ll consider adding subtitles and such in future videos. Thanks 🙏
I wish my father had thought of me as sick instead of lazy and irresponsible. I was trying really hard but it definitely didn't look like it.
Music, my guitar is my leverage. Dude is wicked smart. 👍
I sooo value your honesty. It's all too sparse!
High fat, high protein, no carb breakfast. I have read several studies that say that will really feed your brain. I grab lunchmeat with mayo and wrap it in a piece of lettuce. Or eggs on refried beans. Or corned beef hash. My favorite that nobody else will like is sautee lots of green onions, garlic and black beans in oil. I feel really good when I eat that!
YES, it DOES feel gross! It made me momentarily happy to hear you say that lol. I've been in a pretty bad downward spiral lately (because I did exactly what you said not to do and burned myself out). It's made me way more isolated than before and now it's even harder to ask for help. Yaaayyyyy 🎉
'ask for help'............ *laughs in depressed
Mood haha. I had the same reaction
I dont ask for help because there is none to be had. Of the options I can afford, none of them will make a difference to the causes of my depression. All that would come of it is my family being stressed and worried.
@@lessiansaralonde620 kinda same. Just add living in the third world and being poor with an incurable disease to spice things up a bit. Fun times! 💀
Have never been comfy asking for help but I just reach out to friend and he is going to help me tomorrow. Thanks a bunch!
There's an open world game called "eve online" where you can space mine. Once you get through training and get a bigger ship it takes 10 mins or so to complete a mining mission. You don't do much while it's mining and you feel like you're being productive. I do body weight exercises while my ship is mining. Squats, push ups, arm raises, abs, stretching. Simple sets of 15, 12, 10 reps. It's an easy little upper when I'm in a rough patch.l and it makes a HUGE difference.
I am proud of myself today. But at the same time i need to learn balance. And not want to do everything all at once. I am busy cleaning, sorting, and throwing things out. I don't want my OCD to take over. How can i manage that? 😢 Dr Scott 😊❤ i appreciate all your kind and harsh words 🙏
Most people are absolutely clueless about depression and how important your mental health is. Having lived with lifetime depression I am sick and tired of it. However, I keep struggling on with resilience and hope which is all I have. My mind is constantly trying to fight my condition and depression is very powerful and my brain is as stubborn as hell. I have never enjoyed peoples company and yet I am a group animal. I regard many people especially the ones with nothing between their ears as a complete waste of space. After all, how can you feel good with other people if you don't feel good yourself. I am strongly considering a treatment called repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation which is available either privately or through the NHS here in England. I would give anything to totally eradicate this condition. The two most important things in life are love and your health. Every time I step outside my front door I feel I am up against the world.
I call it "the biggest bang for my buck." I've boiled it down to 7 things: pray, breathe deeply, drink water, sleep, poop, eat, move. In that order. The first 4 must happen daily to survive the worst episodes. All 7 are the foundation for my health. And I struggle everyday for the basic 7, but I survive every day by focusing on them. If all else fails pray knowing you'll thank God when you survive.
Here’s a story for ya. The first rehab I went to back in 1999 could be a little… harsh. I got in trouble for not following some direction, and my punishment was to cut all of the grass around sidewalks of the facility with scissors. And yes, Dr. Scott, it took ALL DAY. The other clients were instructed not to speak to me for the following week, and NOBODY was allowed to help.
That is super harsh!!!
Holy crap!!!!!!
Seems very abusive.
@@wildhorses6817 oh yeah, it was. As much as the USA needs treatment centers for all the people dealing with addiction issues, there is very little oversight of these places. Especially since the majority are privately owned businesses. I went to 8 rehabs before I finally figured shit out on my own 2 years after the last place. Out of those 8, 5 were abusive. 2 of them were particularly bad, though. They operated under an idea of rip apart the person’s ego until they’re a sniveling pile of “I hate myself,” then mold them into something more appropriate. It was fucking horrible. Thankfully, I now have over 6 years clean. Woot! Woot! Yah me!
transition to ad read was smoother than linus tech tips
Haha thanks it’s my first time so I was super nervous
Great video!
What causes my mental Illness is lack of opportunity.
I can relate so much to the things you say. Asking for help “feels gross” lol. Well put!
Your AMAZING X