I watched the full episode of this conversation and it was 🔥🔥🔥. Highly recommend regardless of marital status. James is knowledgeable in his work and passionate and very entertaining in his answers to all of Steve's brilliant questions. Loved the final advice of "You, Me & We". ❤❤❤
My husband and I talk regularly about things that make us feel loved from each other and what didn’t work that week and it is wonderful. We operate on the happy spouse happy house cause it’s a unit not just one person should be happy but both of us
Agreed. Purposely chose my husband because he didn't want to be a parent to humans....he had to adore cats, however. He ticked 90% of what I wanted in a mate.
After mediating thousands of divorces over many years, it seemed like the vast majority of divorces happen when the woman wants out. My suggestion for men is, ask her what her biggest complaint about the marriage is, and then decide whether to dismiss it or to take her complaint seriously.
Yes. True. And women check out years before they actually let you know. Once a woman let's you know she's done she's already moved on and has someone else.
It's because women actually honor marriage by leaving the marriage when it's not working. Whereas a man sees nothing wrong with getting some on the side and staying married. Also, men will drive a woman to divorce by being so awful and whiney because he doesn't have the guts to file, he expects to be his worst self and stay married. Women want a true partnership. They leave when it's not working, especially after they've done EVERYTHING to make it work and he still won't put in his side of the efffort.
Context is important. JP wasnt saying you HAVE to listen to your wife for 90min. He was saying youll have AT BEST 90 min in a week because of all other responsibilities and duties.
Its a blacmail phrase: make me hapy or ill make you miserable. It's like letting mafia in to your house, they look around and say "lovely place,it would be sad if someone messed it up royally, better keep us happy than".
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 6 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Sooooo taken out of context. It’s a 90 minutes logistical conversation. Yes, feelings are included, but it’s about checking in on all the parameters that constitute the relationship. Finances, children, work-life balance, home life issues and needs, future planing, etc. It’s not to just sit there one-sided.
As someone who mediated thousands of divorces and talked to both the husbands and wives separately and together it amazes me that Dear Abby and the other newspaper advice givers only need to listen to one side to know what people should do.
Marry a man that is a equal partner and that will do 50% of the domestic labour and childcare. 80% of women work full time to pay the mortgage and bills and still do the majority of the domestic labour and childcare. Thats why 70% of divorces is initiated by women.
I changed…. We need to talk…. With I’d like to share my thoughts with you. Works soooo much better with my husband. It doesn’t put him on the defensive.
Great discussion! JS offers a much, much healthier suggestion and mindset for a thriving relationship than "You're going to have to listen to your wife for 90 minutes/week. Get that through your thick skull". With that attitude, why even bother?
I don't know anyne happy in the marriage. People with kids, that is men with kids, are just slaves and choose lesser evil by staing im marriage for kids and not being finacially and mentally destroyed.
All to often when kids come men stop dating their wife, make kids the main priority (they should be 3rd) and wonder why their marriage and intimacy dies.
@@superviola88not in the simp mind, nor in society. You are men, you have duties and responsibilities, and you are evil expecting anything. suck it up and pay.
@@superviola88Neither does it work when women do everything, which many do, after they have kids. Even though most mothers work nowadays, they still do far more childcare and housework than men. When their partner doesn't pull his weight and becomes needy, he ends up being like an overgrown child, another thing on her list of things to do.
Yes men and women are more nuanced. The association on both sides with weddings/curtains and food/sex are kind of insulting. Don't we have jobs/hobbies, platonic relationships, a range of family relationships, other communities, pub, gym, cafe etc? Suicide rates are not based on ideas about home decor and food.
That fact that people don’t talk to the person they live with and share a life with is kinda bizarre. When I lived with my family we talked! With my sisters, we talked. Housemates, we talked! Obviously, the intimacy of each relationship is different but you communicate with people you have a level of trust with that you share your life with.
This is the lawyer I always recommend to men married to goldiggers whose only objetive is to getting pregnant to slave a man and take away his wealth and health. Unfortunately, I know a case that will end in divorce and broke/ damage the mental and financial health of this guy. An excellent and a high - value woman first thing she will do is to ask for a prenup. Money belongs to those who work honestly without using this kind of low and abusive means to take away others' fortunes/ wealth.
It is so sad for me that everything comes down to sex, it’s always sex. However, it’s from a male perspective, women go through so much in their life, all the hormonal shifts each month and men… all they care about is a novelty is sex. 😢
you don’t understand men. sex is caring, affection, romance, interest, intimacy, love. without it the mans mental health goes downhill and the relationship dies. sex is an issue you should date women
@lollihonk Yes it is more than sex for men and for women it can be painful, exhausting, not into it, faking orgasm, affected by more than just mood, etc, that when a guy ignores all of that, it's not a compliment and it doesn't encourage the intimacy aspect for a woman. If I were a woman I probably would've eaten my husband's face by now. Took a few years for him to understand my medical conditions means I NEED so much sleep each night, he does me more harm than good waking me up to get laid. After a seizure and recouping is not a good time. Cooking for him and his parents, and taking care of his elderly parents all day is a chore and a half in addition to the house and farm. Not exactly the best environment or mood to drop everything for sex on his whims. Men and women both have to learn sex isn't an on demand function. Sometimes moods won't line-up. Work on your love lives because it's important but gotta help each other with priorities to have the time and passion for it.
@@lollihonk 😂😂😂 Hilarious! I’m surprised people are still ignorant of the hormonal changes women go through that can affect them negatively. Women have 2 different physiological/psychological changes from the beginning of her cycle to the end! So she can be 2 different people from the beginning of the month to the end of it! And you’re talking about a lousy 1 day in which you recover by the next morning, replenished and ready for the day?! 🤦🏽♀️😆 Take a seat, pls!
Yes, we go through this every single day anew! The difference: we are not complaining. "Men also go through a hormonal cycle. The decisive difference with the male cycle: in men, this cycle does not last 28 days, but just one. Within 24 hours, a man's testosterone level changes several times and so does his mood and behavior"
Taking marriage advice from a divorce lawyer has to be taken with a pile of salt. I'd rather take marriage advice from a psychologist who specializes in couples therapy. Hubby and I did 2 years of weekly therapy, together, about 4 years into our relationship. Best money ever spent and the hardest thing we've ever done! Things were very rocky then and our communication styles clashed so badly before we truly learned about each other. We still have our therapist, and we both feel extremely comfortable talking to her about anything and schedule appointments as needed. As we all progress through all the stages of life, a psychologist is as vital as having a Primary Care Physician or a dentist. And FYI, if my husband ever said to me, "we need to have a conversation....I WOULD FREAKING LOVE IT!!!!"
If you want to know what NOT to do, listen to James Sexton. If you want to know how to strengthen your marriage in spite of challenges, listen to people like the Gottmans. That being said, James has some recommendations on things you can do to strengthen your relationship, but he knows much more about how marriages fail and his insight is very worthwile. Listening to him is a kind of divorce insurance in my mind
@@psi23k he also has been married and divorced, that counts for something. I think his experience seeing thousands of cases is more important than the psychology degree, but the psych angle can't hurt his insight
Call me crazy, but I believe people should be more or less on the same page. Have varied approach’s on how to get there, but you should both be more or less traveling towards the same kinds of goals.
Most of the guys I know that bought into this “Happy wife, Happy life” narative have either end up in divorce or their wives are having an affair with some other guy, now that’s just my experience.
1. She won't have sex. 2. She shops online and spends money instantly she get the salary and does not contribute to the family's spendings. 3. She is all me , me , me. 4. She has indulged in infidelity. What keeps men in that toxic relationship is; Kids. especially if they are a victim of separation of the parents.
What woman has that sweet gig?! 🤣 I don't know any women qho aren't working their tails off! They're all Moms constantly caring for their kids, most earn as much as their husband and those who don't work or work less are homeschooling their kids (huge job!). Meanwhile, so many men just go to work then expect to be pampered or do hobbies when they get home, meanwhile she's been working all day too and probably didn't sleep much taking care of kids in the night! SHE needs the break, he needs to step up and parent too.
This guy is making a couple of good points but somewhere I feel him to be dislliusioned too deeply, like poison running in his veins, and now going to the other extreme.... I wish that some day he understands this and gets happily married! :-)
📺 Watch the full episode here
ruclips.net/video/oAgGirY-GUQ/видео.html&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
I watched the full episode of this conversation and it was 🔥🔥🔥. Highly recommend regardless of marital status. James is knowledgeable in his work and passionate and very entertaining in his answers to all of Steve's brilliant questions. Loved the final advice of "You, Me & We". ❤❤❤
My husband and I talk regularly about things that make us feel loved from each other and what didn’t work that week and it is wonderful. We operate on the happy spouse happy house cause it’s a unit not just one person should be happy but both of us
i like that. It's a two way street, always
People really think children will save a marriage? Children will end your marriage!😂 Don’t have kids if you’re not in a happy marriage
Right? Quite a bit of people in the US think it'll save a marriage. Probably not so much anymore.
I knew a few couples who are now divorced once they starting having kids.
Amen! I’m about to leave my wife after 18 months of having a child. Adore my son, but so sick of my wife 😂
Agreed. Purposely chose my husband because he didn't want to be a parent to humans....he had to adore cats, however. He ticked 90% of what I wanted in a mate.
This is why divorce is so high 😂
After mediating thousands of divorces over many years, it seemed like the vast majority of divorces happen when the woman wants out. My suggestion for men is, ask her what her biggest complaint about the marriage is, and then decide whether to dismiss it or to take her complaint seriously.
Yes. True. And women check out years before they actually let you know. Once a woman let's you know she's done she's already moved on and has someone else.
It's because women actually honor marriage by leaving the marriage when it's not working. Whereas a man sees nothing wrong with getting some on the side and staying married. Also, men will drive a woman to divorce by being so awful and whiney because he doesn't have the guts to file, he expects to be his worst self and stay married. Women want a true partnership. They leave when it's not working, especially after they've done EVERYTHING to make it work and he still won't put in his side of the efffort.
Context is important. JP wasnt saying you HAVE to listen to your wife for 90min. He was saying youll have AT BEST 90 min in a week because of all other responsibilities and duties.
Happy spouse happy house.
That is a better phase to go bye!
Its a blacmail phrase: make me hapy or ill make you miserable. It's like letting mafia in to your house, they look around and say "lovely place,it would be sad if someone messed it up royally, better keep us happy than".
This guy is really great to listen to
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 6 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online.
Spam
Im a year away from my law degree and Im following this guy's steps, family law
Sooooo taken out of context. It’s a 90 minutes logistical conversation. Yes, feelings are included, but it’s about checking in on all the parameters that constitute the relationship. Finances, children, work-life balance, home life issues and needs, future planing, etc.
It’s not to just sit there one-sided.
As someone who mediated thousands of divorces and talked to both the husbands and wives separately and together it amazes me that Dear Abby and the other newspaper advice givers only need to listen to one side to know what people should do.
Marry a civilised woman with good emotional intelligence, a kind one that doesn't mind discussing things practically rather than kicking off
And make sure you're also a giver and not just a taker in that regard!
Marry a man that is a equal partner and that will do 50% of the domestic labour and childcare. 80% of women work full time to pay the mortgage and bills and still do the majority of the domestic labour and childcare. Thats why 70% of divorces is initiated by women.
That's who most men thought that they married on their wedding day.
Yes time can change people, but then it's probably time to move on anyhow..
Thanks for posting this clip!
I like the expression “ happy wife,happy life”
I changed…. We need to talk…. With I’d like to share my thoughts with you. Works soooo much better with my husband. It doesn’t put him on the defensive.
Great discussion! JS offers a much, much healthier suggestion and mindset for a thriving relationship than "You're going to have to listen to your wife for 90 minutes/week. Get that through your thick skull". With that attitude, why even bother?
A Marriage Family Therapist said to me “I don’t know how anyone that doesn’t have kids stays married.” I more relate to that point.
I don't know anyne happy in the marriage. People with kids, that is men with kids, are just slaves and choose lesser evil by staing im marriage for kids and not being finacially and mentally destroyed.
This guy is really good!!!
All to often when kids come men stop dating their wife, make kids the main priority (they should be 3rd) and wonder why their marriage and intimacy dies.
I think you mean women stop dating..the maternal instinct kicks in everything else (including the husband) are sidelined…
@@superviola88 lol ever heard of romance? 😂
@@superviola88not in the simp mind, nor in society.
You are men, you have duties and responsibilities, and you are evil expecting anything. suck it up and pay.
@@superviola88 now “romance” has to be explained too? 🤦♀️
@@superviola88Neither does it work when women do everything, which many do, after they have kids.
Even though most mothers work nowadays, they still do far more childcare and housework than men. When their partner doesn't pull his weight and becomes needy, he ends up being like an overgrown child, another thing on her list of things to do.
Men THINK they're simple and rational... we women know that isn't nearly the truth! Lol
THIS!!! My husband is sooo emotional and not logical. It's very frustrating.
No it’s not 90 minutes in the penalty box. People on both sides need to talk things out
It should be happy house happy spouse
Yes men and women are more nuanced. The association on both sides with weddings/curtains and food/sex are kind of insulting.
Don't we have jobs/hobbies, platonic relationships, a range of family relationships, other communities, pub, gym, cafe etc?
Suicide rates are not based on ideas about home decor and food.
... just all about having novelty sex basically
Im divorced then he died. Im glad i have a beautiful loving son
That fact that people don’t talk to the person they live with and share a life with is kinda bizarre. When I lived with my family we talked! With my sisters, we talked. Housemates, we talked! Obviously, the intimacy of each relationship is different but you communicate with people you have a level of trust with that you share your life with.
Yes the polarity is fantastic
This guy is awesome. Skip the therapy and listen to him.
This is the lawyer I always recommend to men married to goldiggers whose only objetive is to getting pregnant to slave a man and take away his wealth and health. Unfortunately, I know a case that will end in divorce and broke/ damage the mental and financial health of this guy. An excellent and a high - value woman first thing she will do is to ask for a prenup. Money belongs to those who work honestly without using this kind of low and abusive means to take away others' fortunes/ wealth.
Women often want the baby Band-Aid thinking it will help their terrible marriage. Not only will it make it worse? But will end it sooner.
Vice versa:” happy husband, happy life “
It is so sad for me that everything comes down to sex, it’s always sex. However, it’s from a male perspective, women go through so much in their life, all the hormonal shifts each month and men… all they care about is a novelty is sex. 😢
Yeah it's very important because sex for men is more than sex. Just educate yourself. Btw. Testosterone is a hormone which varies the whole day!
you don’t understand men. sex is caring, affection, romance, interest, intimacy, love. without it the mans mental health goes downhill and the relationship dies. sex is an issue you should date women
@lollihonk Yes it is more than sex for men and for women it can be painful, exhausting, not into it, faking orgasm, affected by more than just mood, etc, that when a guy ignores all of that, it's not a compliment and it doesn't encourage the intimacy aspect for a woman.
If I were a woman I probably would've eaten my husband's face by now. Took a few years for him to understand my medical conditions means I NEED so much sleep each night, he does me more harm than good waking me up to get laid. After a seizure and recouping is not a good time. Cooking for him and his parents, and taking care of his elderly parents all day is a chore and a half in addition to the house and farm. Not exactly the best environment or mood to drop everything for sex on his whims.
Men and women both have to learn sex isn't an on demand function. Sometimes moods won't line-up. Work on your love lives because it's important but gotta help each other with priorities to have the time and passion for it.
@@lollihonk 😂😂😂
Hilarious! I’m surprised people are still ignorant of the hormonal changes women go through that can affect them negatively. Women have 2 different physiological/psychological changes from the beginning of her cycle to the end! So she can be 2 different people from the beginning of the month to the end of it! And you’re talking about a lousy 1 day in which you recover by the next morning, replenished and ready for the day?! 🤦🏽♀️😆 Take a seat, pls!
Yes, we go through this every single day anew! The difference: we are not complaining. "Men also go through a hormonal cycle. The decisive difference with the male cycle: in men, this cycle does not last 28 days, but just one. Within 24 hours, a man's testosterone level changes several times and so does his mood and behavior"
Spot on!
Love your podcasts, Please have Bryan Johnson
Taking marriage advice from a divorce lawyer has to be taken with a pile of salt. I'd rather take marriage advice from a psychologist who specializes in couples therapy.
Hubby and I did 2 years of weekly therapy, together, about 4 years into our relationship. Best money ever spent and the hardest thing we've ever done! Things were very rocky then and our communication styles clashed so badly before we truly learned about each other. We still have our therapist, and we both feel extremely comfortable talking to her about anything and schedule appointments as needed. As we all progress through all the stages of life, a psychologist is as vital as having a Primary Care Physician or a dentist.
And FYI, if my husband ever said to me, "we need to have a conversation....I WOULD FREAKING LOVE IT!!!!"
If you want to know what NOT to do, listen to James Sexton. If you want to know how to strengthen your marriage in spite of challenges, listen to people like the Gottmans. That being said, James has some recommendations on things you can do to strengthen your relationship, but he knows much more about how marriages fail and his insight is very worthwile. Listening to him is a kind of divorce insurance in my mind
James actually got a psychology degree prior to becoming a divorce lawyer. Hence why he's so good.
@@psi23k he also has been married and divorced, that counts for something. I think his experience seeing thousands of cases is more important than the psychology degree, but the psych angle can't hurt his insight
@retrogamerdave362 yea true. His education and copious amounts of experience definitely counts.
This offered great insights, but what does it have to do with the title?
Should be "happy spouses = happy houses"
He is funny! 🤣🤣 Is he married!?
James's wife must be a wonderful Lady. Great storyteller.
I believe he is divorced.
Or, you could just stay single and retire by 58...travel in good health and have 20 years of retirement life which is 1/2 of your work life
Call me crazy, but I believe people should be more or less on the same page. Have varied approach’s on how to get there, but you should both be more or less traveling towards the same kinds of goals.
Most of the guys I know that bought into this “Happy wife, Happy life” narative have either end up in divorce or their wives are having an affair with some other guy, now that’s just my experience.
All the guys who don't believe in "Happy wife, happy life" believe in "Me, me, me" and are now divorced.
Imagine using a baby to fulfill your relationship goals....👹
1. She won't have sex. 2. She shops online and spends money instantly she get the salary and does not contribute to the family's spendings. 3. She is all me , me , me. 4. She has indulged in infidelity. What keeps men in that toxic relationship is; Kids. especially if they are a victim of separation of the parents.
What woman has that sweet gig?! 🤣 I don't know any women qho aren't working their tails off! They're all Moms constantly caring for their kids, most earn as much as their husband and those who don't work or work less are homeschooling their kids (huge job!). Meanwhile, so many men just go to work then expect to be pampered or do hobbies when they get home, meanwhile she's been working all day too and probably didn't sleep much taking care of kids in the night! SHE needs the break, he needs to step up and parent too.
Interesting !! Have never thought so much about a couple's sex life having to be SO transactional ?!
12:43
😂😂😂😂 A least he is honest
I could see steven several times regretting asking james questions that lead to ranting, hes like there go 5 mins of the podcast
😂😂😂😂😂 This guy is hilarious
I want to speak to my special person more than 90 min a week .
I like to listen and to talk no problem for me 🌞🌊🌞🤗💋🌈
This guy is making a couple of good points but somewhere I feel him to be dislliusioned too deeply, like poison running in his veins, and now going to the other extreme.... I wish that some day he understands this and gets happily married! :-)
Jordan is shallow and full of cliches 🤢
Why not bring a wife/a woman into this conversation and see what she thinks?
Happy Yin, Happy Yang.
Happy Ding, Happy Dong.
Happy Spouse, Happy House.
7:30 Marriage turns a LOVER into a RELATIVE? 🤔
12:30 Positive manipulation
Happy spouse happy house.