Powerful and very succinct. Knowing how the mind of a narcissist works has helped me to emotionally detach with rational and without emotion 😊. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Hi Darrren This was so confusing frustrating and crazy making the double standards always moving the goal posts how can you ever win an argument with this 🙏 ?
Hi, I just want to tell you that you can't win. Honestly, I don't know why so many people think this way. You should never argue with them because then they can blame you even more because they use DARVO. Keep watching Darren's videos to learn what you need to know. There's nothing you can do personally to change a narcissist. You can pray for them.
It is so very well explained. Narcisists’s self worth is based on external praise and validation, they live at the mercy of other people’s fleeting opinions and judgment. And it is understandably destabilising and frustrating for the narcisist and then projected onto those around them.
When I was an intern for a professor (she was not my instructor) at her private practice some years ago, I never felt safe and was in constant fear of being attacked by her, to the point that I developed serious somatic symptoms, feeling as though my heart had been pinched of its blood. After that one experience, I was so guarded working with people who would give me the same feeling..walking on an egg shell.
@@jamie764 Because the site supervisor had so much power over me and I was only five weeks away from completing my first internship, I was worried about how the situation might negatively affect my graduation. To answer your question, I took several steps: 1. I contacted my school instructor and the clinical director of the program to explain my side of the story, refraining from criticizing the site supervisor. I wanted to avoid worsening the situation and focus on my next steps. My goal was to ensure my school understood what had happened and how I responded and seeking for their feedback and support regarding my options going forward. Continuing with the clinical site, I became less verbal during group and individual supervision sessions with the site clinical supervisor and other intern members (flying monkeys). I eventually withdrew my internship continuation contract and cut off all contact after my internship ended. I didn’t even fill out my end of internship evaluation about my site and the site clinical director as I don’t feel it was my place provide feedback to her but I’m sure she has many negative things to say about me from that one single incident which she already knew it won’t cause her any trouble. 2. To manage my somatic symptoms, I utilized several strategies: (a) I prayed and sought help from a higher power, (b) I applied imaginary techniques from child therapy that I learned years ago at a different school, (c) I practiced meditation and deep breathing techniques to help me sleep and recover from stress, and (d) I engaged in Jungian dream work. These strategies helped me gain insight into why I was initially attracted to that site over others. I did these technique s first in morning when I wake up and in evening before I go to bed as these are best times to get to the unconscious. 3. Fortunately, my second and third internships went smoothly, providing me with plenty of work autonomy, freedom, and creativity, along with support from various medical professionals, including social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists of different specialties, nurses, etc.... The site clinical director there even hinted that I could take over her position when she moved to a different role, but I declined because I had other priorities and felt I couldn’t handle the workload that would come with accepting the position. 4. Looking back a year after completing my internships, I believe that the first negative internship experience ultimately opened the door to better opportunities for me.
My ex told me, “I’m sure it’s hard being with me, I’ve been told I’m not very consistent. “ i knew it was wrong for someone to act that way yet seem “unable to” change it for the better … so- i left . And started dissecting his actions, his intermittent reinforcement, his dodging plans to “test me” and make me show him how disappointed i was. All sick attention-seeking behavior. Once i gave him no attention, boy did his true colors show. And the Hoover. He was classic covert. With some psychopathy. Good riddance!
They don't think that they are inconsistent. Even as they whip people around, somehow they just don't see it. One boyfriend changed his mind for dinner, from Chinese food to Mexican to Thai, ON THE WAY to the restaurant. When I said "Just PICK one," he said he was being "spontaneous," quit trying to dominate him! Lordy.
I recently divorced a narcissistic man. His abuse started as subtle, therefore confusing. Then he started destroying the house and finally put his hands on me. I divorced him the next day. Now that we co-parent, he's suddenly nice, kind, and attentive--what he was like while we were dating. (Shaking head) I'm not falling for that again. Constantly inconsistent.
Some things are predictable:( - their lack of empathy for their scapegoat child or adult child - their lack of abilty to introspect and apologise - they never side with the scapegoat child - they always dismiss / undermine / reject the adult child’s assessmen mt of any situation - they will always side with e.g. the abusive boss / befriend the abusive husband / never condemn the abuse of the physically violent parent. Thank god these remain the same throughout their life. This provides a sense of sanity, of being able to expect the worst and not be disappointed.
Yes please to a video on dealing with the ever changing narcissistic mind! This video was very helpful, would like to continue with more info on the topic
Thank you for another helpful installment, Darren. I like your calm, concise, and precise delivery, not to mention your COOL ACCENT! All this from a... narcissist. Yep, you read it right. And I hope I am not trying to manipulate you. Please put together a program about chance of "de-narcissise" folk like me. Is there any hope for us? I did not choose this personality disorder. I am sick and tired of living with it. Please help. Thank you in advance.
@@DarrenFMageeWow, You are always kind, Darren. I couldn't be more impressed by your excellent character. You seem to have a pure heart. You have a very special way of guiding us back from the brink of destruction, and encouraging us. Do you do any online counseling for victims who are not able to come to your office?
Powerful and very succinct. Knowing how the mind of a narcissist works has helped me to emotionally detach with rational and without emotion 😊. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Yes! Powerful! God bless you, Darren!
This is so validating. Thanks again Darren, for another very informative and validating video
Good Afternoon Darren..☘️
At the mercy of their own whims
Thank you!! You are a God sent!! This was wonderfully helpful. 🙏🇺🇲
Hi Darrren
This was so confusing frustrating and crazy making
the double standards always moving the goal posts how can you ever win an argument with this 🙏 ?
Hi, I just want to tell you that you can't win. Honestly, I don't know why so many people think this way. You should never argue with them because then they can blame you even more because they use DARVO. Keep watching Darren's videos to learn what you need to know. There's nothing you can do personally to change a narcissist. You can pray for them.
True right down to the guitar! As the sheriff kicked him to the curb, the guitar went in the goodwill bin
As my Ma used to say 'Y'couldn't like them if you reared them'................Walk away!
It is so very well explained. Narcisists’s self worth is based on external praise and validation, they live at the mercy of other people’s fleeting opinions and judgment. And it is understandably destabilising and frustrating for the narcisist and then projected onto those around them.
When I was an intern for a professor (she was not my instructor) at her private practice some years ago, I never felt safe and was in constant fear of being attacked by her, to the point that I developed serious somatic symptoms, feeling as though my heart had been pinched of its blood. After that one experience, I was so guarded working with people who would give me the same feeling..walking on an egg shell.
How did you get past the somatic symptoms?
@@jamie764 Because the site supervisor had so much power over me and I was only five weeks away from completing my first internship, I was worried about how the situation might negatively affect my graduation. To answer your question, I took several steps:
1. I contacted my school instructor and the clinical director of the program to explain my side of the story, refraining from criticizing the site supervisor. I wanted to avoid worsening the situation and focus on my next steps. My goal was to ensure my school understood what had happened and how I responded and seeking for their feedback and support regarding my options going forward. Continuing with the clinical site, I became less verbal during group and individual supervision sessions with the site clinical supervisor and other intern members (flying monkeys). I eventually withdrew my internship continuation contract and cut off all contact after my internship ended. I didn’t even fill out my end of internship evaluation about my site and the site clinical director as I don’t feel it was my place provide feedback to her but I’m sure she has many negative things to say about me from that one single incident which she already knew it won’t cause her any trouble.
2. To manage my somatic symptoms, I utilized several strategies: (a) I prayed and sought help from a higher power, (b) I applied imaginary techniques from child therapy that I learned years ago at a different school, (c) I practiced meditation and deep breathing techniques to help me sleep and recover from stress, and (d) I engaged in Jungian dream work. These strategies helped me gain insight into why I was initially attracted to that site over others. I did these technique s first in morning when I wake up and in evening before I go to bed as these are best times to get to the unconscious.
3. Fortunately, my second and third internships went smoothly, providing me with plenty of work autonomy, freedom, and creativity, along with support from various medical professionals, including social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists of different specialties, nurses, etc.... The site clinical director there even hinted that I could take over her position when she moved to a different role, but I declined because I had other priorities and felt I couldn’t handle the workload that would come with accepting the position.
4. Looking back a year after completing my internships, I believe that the first negative internship experience ultimately opened the door to better opportunities for me.
My ex told me, “I’m sure it’s hard being with me, I’ve been told I’m not very consistent. “ i knew it was wrong for someone to act that way yet seem “unable to” change it for the better … so- i left . And started dissecting his actions, his intermittent reinforcement, his dodging plans to “test me” and make me show him how disappointed i was. All sick attention-seeking behavior. Once i gave him no attention, boy did his true colors show. And the Hoover. He was classic covert. With some psychopathy. Good riddance!
They don't think that they are inconsistent. Even as they whip people around, somehow they just don't see it. One boyfriend changed his mind for dinner, from Chinese food to Mexican to Thai, ON THE WAY to the restaurant. When I said "Just PICK one," he said he was being "spontaneous," quit trying to dominate him! Lordy.
Satanic!
I recently divorced a narcissistic man. His abuse started as subtle, therefore confusing. Then he started destroying the house and finally put his hands on me. I divorced him the next day. Now that we co-parent, he's suddenly nice, kind, and attentive--what he was like while we were dating. (Shaking head) I'm not falling for that again. Constantly inconsistent.
Some things are predictable:(
- their lack of empathy for their scapegoat child or adult child
- their lack of abilty to introspect and apologise
- they never side with the scapegoat child - they always dismiss / undermine / reject the adult child’s assessmen mt of any situation
- they will always side with e.g. the abusive boss / befriend the abusive husband / never condemn the abuse of the physically violent parent.
Thank god these remain the same throughout their life. This provides a sense of sanity, of being able to expect the worst and not be disappointed.
Yes please to a video on dealing with the ever changing narcissistic mind! This video was very helpful, would like to continue with more info on the topic
Yes !! Hounded me to get into sports for months until I finally did then the topic bored them
Very informative..
Like walking on a knife edge 🙄
Yes, please
DFM 👍
Thank you for another helpful installment, Darren. I like your calm, concise, and precise delivery, not to mention your COOL ACCENT! All this from a... narcissist. Yep, you read it right. And I hope I am not trying to manipulate you. Please put together a program about chance of "de-narcissise" folk like me. Is there any hope for us? I did not choose this personality disorder. I am sick and tired of living with it. Please help. Thank you in advance.
Hi there I made a video on trying to change narcissistic behaviours if you'd find that helpful?
@@DarrenFMageeWow, You are always kind, Darren. I couldn't be more impressed by your excellent character. You seem to have a pure heart. You have a very special way of guiding us back from the brink of destruction, and encouraging us. Do you do any online counseling for victims who are not able to come to your office?
@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 unfortunately my availability is limited, and I can only see clients who are UK or Ireland based