Keeping Yourself Out Of Negative Situations With Family Members
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- You don't have to be around family members who don't treat you right.
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I learned the hard way. You get tired. So I removed myself from the situation. Love my family - but the toxicity was starting to effect my wellbeing.
AMEN AMEN AMEN
I'm thankful to The Lord that you removed yourself. I had to do the same & they have the nerve to act like I'm the bad guy, when I know it's necessary for my own emo health.
Genetics, you have to have things from both of your parent or they aren’t your parents; people switched at birth!
Jo Ann Johnson same
I did the same thing years ago and by doing so it is rumored that I've somehow forgotten where I came from. Furthermore, now that there's nothing to gossip and be messy about, they fabricate stories to appease their misery....it's crazy.
Agree! Sometimes you have to love family members from an distance and feed them with a long handed spoon.
Your family can sometimes be the ones that will take from you and some will also stab you in the back.
Amen.
Family ain't always blood 💯
@@mistercarter5562 agreed!
Rosa Park...AMEN
@@triciatalking9599 well said 100%
I DON'T FOOL With My FAMILY!!! But I LOVE Them. 💝💝💝💝💝
Amen!! I'm done with my family
I agree, just because they are having a family reunion, you don't have to go PERIOD💅👏👊👍
Same here!
@@cidneyoliver4706 I never have went.
That's Real Talk
Moved out of state for this reason. Peace of mind and well being are priceless!
This is what I wanted, I have 10 kids and my oldest child have took me through the works, she's about to finish college, but I had to show her tough love, she tells the story and I'm wrong, that's fine with me, I keep it moving
Same here ❤
That's what I am preparing to do.
Moving to another state to get away!
Me toooo !!!!!
Same!!! Bless your heart!!! We got this!!!
Blood is actually more destructive than water if u know what I mean.
Bianca Starks Amen!
So true!
Bianca Starks right! My momma always said that blood is thicker than water but blood clots and water keeps flowing....
Very true
The realest comment here!! #FACTS
That’s why I stopped attending certain family functions. I got sick and tired of being the “Verbal Dart Board “ for folks to throw their pain and insecurities on!
Yes it is the truth.
Say it!!!!
Yes, yes! I agree! Same here.
Omg, same here!!!
I agree.😀
Ricky you ain't speaking nothing but the truth and God loves the truth!!👍👍👍!!!!
Amen Yes he do... 👍🏾
BBKeeps ItReal
What they used to say along time ago ?
Tell the truth and shame the devil 🙏🏽
Nothing but the truth!!!!
@Verla Hatcher, my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. I pray that you will forgive her for your own freedom and peace of mind. Some women, unfortunately, don't know how to love and nurture a child. We have to give our mother's to God and leave the consequences on Him. Meanwhile, create safe boundaries for yourself and teach her how to treat you. What we allow, we promote. God bless you! 🙏🏾
Relatives and family are not the same
I totally agree
So TRUE! My mom is even nicer to my cousin than me!
A wordddddd!
@@lessismore8533 wow 😳😢 I've seen that before in families
Family or not, toxic is toxic. You are ALLOWED to walk away from people who constantly hurt you. You are ALLOWED to walk away from those who have abused you. You are ALLOWED to walk away from people who don’t love love you. You are ALLOWED to create and enforce boundaries. You are ALLOWED to choose your breaking point. Please stop encouraging others to deal with toxicity and drama for the sake of family. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of YOUR mental health.
YES LAWD!!!!!!
Damn straight. I’m so glad more people are advocating for this and realizing this.
🙌
Sure don't I have given my whole family up because I almost had to strokes behind there butt's and my doctor told me to cut them and iam happy as a Lark. Mine treat me like garbage and iam done love them far away amen
Yes those are the ones sing it
Go where your celebrated , Not tolerated.
I agree, the ones you help are most likely your worst enemy. Determined to hurt you and spread lies on you. Smh 😕☹️🙄
YES, this is so true
I appreciate Ricky for bringing up the difficult conversations and thoughts we have. Thanks Ricky!❣️🎁❣️🎁❣️
Was that victim of giving now more knowledgeable of giving my all to those who have my back too. Not just me giving ALL the time and receiving statements like "The Lord sure going to bless you" when they should have been doing the same thing I was doing....praying to GOD for strength and help. HE has never failed me and my child! Thank you Jesus!!! Can I get a Amen from sombody! Momma Sharon along with best friend Mickey!!💗
Better beleive it!
Sometimes they ain't the case. If they do something for you they wanna throw it back in your face and I don't like that. If you do for me and gotta bring it up you didn't do it from the heart anyway so you can keep your so called goodness.
“Hurt people HURT people” that spoke to me. 😔
I ain't mad mad 😠
So true
I agree I don't go to no one house if they don't like me and I don't like them I Will Not Be Fake and Do Not Come To My Home If You Don't Like Me Because You Want Get In.
Amen so many black families suffer through this all day long!
Yes! Truth See "Sibling Rivalry"...on Sheila Zilinsky podcast youtube. Raw truth..very enlightening!!!!
Exactly🙏🏽
I hate when people do you bad show up and be nice and expect you to be ok at least apologize and acknowledge you were wrong and Don't Do It Again some people do apologise and still do the same thing I refuse to be around people who treat me nasty and then treat me nice to cover up the ugly I'm not dealing with fake,nasty people I want to be around positive people who treat me well.
Right! Nice nasty is what I call it...
Yup! Real genuine folks.
1 - a lot of times they are being nice to you just so they can be up in the mix to talk and gossip about you. There’s nothing genuine about them trying to be around you. As soon as I figured out these “family” members that only wanted to do right when it was convenient for them...blocked! Walls as tall and as long as the China Wall. Never to get in again. As Rickey said...I love you...just don’t love you near me
That's right!🙏
I have a family member just like what you described. They can't apologize with sincerity, and take accountability. They always play the victim and deflect whenever you confront them. They have NO friends, can't get along with anyone.
“Hurt people -- hurt people”
I love and forgive my family but I choose to be at peace and love me. I love this encouraging nugget!
Facts
The dysfunction is an issue in every family. Creating my own family Amen
This is good. I preach the same thing. Toxic people stay clear of me. I can't give my time or energy to it. I'm good.
AND NOT ONLY TOXIC BUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE SMALL MINDS AND DONT WANT ANYTHING IN LIFE
You have said it again!!!! People NEED COUNSELING!!! I don't go around my grandmother's people. Her mother was so sweet, I don't understand how her kids turned out so hateful. They talk about you like a dog but run to the church every Sunday. God sits high, though.
I choose to be happy and surround myself with people who love and respect and support me.
Yup, Im just tired of it. I despise my family dynamics!
Rickey I agree with you. I stay to myself some family members are SOMETHING else. I can't deal with drama to old for that.
Bettie Royster it’s ok to love from a distance.
@@lbaker7226 Lol I agree I do that very well.😂
Amen
I know thats right
@@sunyweanicholsun6220
It seems the older I get the more foolishness that my family send my way. So staying to myself gets lonely sometimes but I would rather be lonely than fussing with my blood. Old people shouldn't act like this.
I stay away from family members. I have chosen my family from others that I've met. I keep a small inner circle.
Generational Curses...still reading in Family I do the same I will not be disrespected or used.
Thank you for exposing the biggest hidden issue in the black family!!! We stand with our family even when we know they talk junk about us, jealous of us, even hate us. It's so sad. I hear that all of the time...blood is thicker than water. I feel I lost a love because of that but good comes out of the bad. I'm in therapy. It started with pre-marital counseling but then turned into healing abandonment and betrayal issues from childhood and adulthood. My mother always told me nobody can hurt you more than your family and closest friends...Lord knows she was right. I've cut off some family and friends because of it. I'm healing and can honestly say I LOVE MYSELF now!!! My dark curvy self!!! Blessings to you, your family and the morning show family ❤
Beautiful
Dark is beautiful and curvy is gorgeous. I'm glad you are better. I lost the love of my life due to him growing up thinking that blood is thicker than water. His grown non working constantly begging sister always came first in his book. He never encouraged her to do better. He felt obligated to her more than to me and his kids. So I had to leave him to have my sanity. But God will replace Everything you lost or think you lost. I'm a witness!!
Yes I know that to be true! I'm preparing myself for my new love by working on my self love, mentally, emotionally and physically. Blessings to you all.
Read the book of job in the bible
This doesnt happen in black family alone.
Thank you for addressing this issue! At first, I use to feel so guilty for trying to separate myself from my toxic relatives, but now I have no regrets! Some may disagree with me, but the main person that was so toxic to me was my very own mother!!! Yes!!! I love her, but it's better that I'm not around her as much. But having a peace of mind is way more important than anything! Plus, I don't won't my son to be around that toxic environment etc.
I stay away from negative people, I dont watch the news either too much negativty !😳😳😁✌
Mackone, negativity is contagious, and complaining only keeps things the same. There is freedom in having a peace of mind.
👍🏽Church!!!U my Potna and I don't even know you!!!I never watch the news🤔Someone could win 40million and change there living dynamic but they won't acknowledge that but top storie will a Killing,Wreck,Blown Building,ect✌🏾
Yes...I stop watching the news also...before I turned on the news I was feeling good...but afterwards my Good energy turned to Bad...I unplugged my TV months ago....I stay in my own energy I create....
Rickey, i was struggling with this for years and I made up my mind to let those who don't love me go.. you don't deserve to mistreat me in my glorious presence created and approved by God!
Amen , thank you for this!! People don't understand the mental impact it has on one's life.. glad i am pass those dark years. I will ALWAYS wish them well, nothing less.
China Doll C1 This year I have been claiming this; and starting to put into practice because I am the same way
@@sunshinesunflowerz1647 yesssssssssssss, you can't buy peace.. and they talk, think YOU have changed but your mental status is worth your comfort zone.
Please take care of you! Many blessings in life!❤❤
Amen!!🙏🏻
@@sunshinesunflowerz1647
Yes beautiful keep yourself strong and walk in your TRUTH....AWESOME!!!
@@sunshinesunflowerz1647 peace is a POWERFUL reflection of self love
As long as you digging in your pockets! You good! Say no one time no phone calls.
FACTS
Create your own family, who love and respect you PERIOD👊🙌🙌
💯
@Velvet Simmons
AMEN
This happened to me and my husband also when the money stop flowing they stop coming around and no more phone calls. But my husband and I just enjoy one another and we have peace of mind peace in our home. Thank You Jesus.
My sister told me I was the "Black Sheep" of the family and I'm the youngest of 10 my momma had but it took God to help me heal "Self" so now I can move on with my life... I tried asking two of my sister's to go to counseling wit me and they didn't want to... So now I'm ok wit it and I can go on wit my life....
Angelia Is Royalty same here but we both know that’s not true...they don’t like us because we tell/told the truth and will not take their s🤬 just because they are family.
Baby it's ok heal yourself first then try to work with them. But you have to be good before all of y'all can be good. "Heal Self" I want you to know that there are other people in the world that have experienced what you have it will be "ALRIGHT"
TRUST GOD PLEASE LISTEN TRUST GOD.
Im in that boat too. They are JEALOUS OF YOU. I swear if it wasnt for God....Jessssus
You are a BLACK QUEEN. FAR More than RUBIES. PROVERBS 31 WOMAN
MissAlphaOmegaGOD - 2U! That’s it right there! I used to be the golden child because I would feed these people in their stupidity and never challenge their lies. As soon as I cut that cord and blocked them...I’m better than everyone, I’m manipulative, I’m mean, I’m rude!
Because I choose to live in truth?!?! Fuck that
Real talk 💯 Just because they're your family means you have to deal with them, no you don't, especially when they're toxic.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. YOU HAVE TO SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE TOXIC.
Needed to hear this!! Blood does not make you family, those are relatives. Family are those who you share the good,bad, and ugly with and still love one another in the end. I love who loves me!! Toxic family (mama, brother etc..) I'll love y'all from a distance.
My mom and brother have SO much in common! They both like to pick fights and ease drop on my conversations! And blame me because of their annoyances by me because they cant mind their own business! So unfair
Good advice. After my stroke,in an effort to reduce stress on all levels,I stopped fooling with relatives that I know don't like me. I could tell that those same relatives seemed disappointed that I was recovering well when they visited me in rehab. When I realized that,I thought Ima stopped fooling with them.
I'm trying to tell you I just told my uncle I'm not about to be around abusive folks. It's only so much I can or will take
Shavonda Tucker, God bless you for standing up for yourself!
This is so true! Toxic family will guilt trip you, but at the end of the day YOU are important and YOU do matter!! Create your own happiness and flourish in peace by making healthy choices and decisions about folks that don't mean YOU well in Jesus name amen!! Great word Mr Smiley!!👍👏🙌❤
Co workers, Wow, snitches, gossipers, they come to you and smile in your face. It's stressing... Trust no one..
Thank you Ricky for being transparent and confirming that it's OK to create our own family. Blood relatives can be the worst. When I decided to start protecting my peace all hell broke loose I am OK with it, my days are peaceful knowing I do not have to accept the toxic behaviors of my family. I have been set FREE!!
That’s true because a person can be your elders but it doesn’t mean they always right
Family isn't just blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs not to cut you down for whatever reasons they may have. No excuses for they know what they're doing and the effects.If necessary keeping them in your heart if warranted but absolutely out of your life! ✌🏿️🙌🏼
Speak the truth! I tell my Mom this about her family.
To God 🙏 be the glory 🙏
Listen 👂🏽 that’s why I’ve established boundaries! We are brainwashed to deal with our family, but cut ties with everyone else quickly! But as for me I choose peace. My mental health before anyone or anything! The hypocrisy, lies, hate and negative energy can miss me because I’m not dealing with it! Therapy is bae, and sadly the people who look down on therapy the most are the ones who really need it.
Speak On It!! They don't want to address the real issues. They want to sweep the real issues under the carpet. You are suppose to accept the mistreatment. Thank you Ricky for speaking the truth 😘
Facts! I can’t tolerate this negative energy and envious vibes so I created my own lane and space where I can thrive 🎯
He talking about my in-laws church going nasty people who covers up everything. For years I would not say anything not anymore. Thank you Jesus I'm free.
Just had this exp w/ 1 of my Family Members. I thought we were bonding, but I was wrong. I'm not mad & I'm not taking any of it on.
Guuuurrrrrl, me too!
Yes my older sister birthday is tomorrow I just send a txt because she don't answer the phone. Other family members you call them and don't want you to call them. GOD told me not to run after family so I don't today I am free!
I have a toxic baby sister. I vowed to myself that I will surround myself with the people who love and respect and support me and those that I do the same for as well. But I refuse to allow my days to be spent with people that choose to be toxic. I had to do the same with her children. But I pray that God softens their hearts and renews their minds. But I will no longer allow their toxicity to be apart of my life.
Keep more conversations of this especially during your vacations and holidays
Amen to this message. 💜💙
At the end of the day, YOU teach other people how to treat you, even family. Keep shining, Rickey!
#TeachTruthInLove
My mantra!!!✌️
Yes, we do. :)
Preach Rickey! This message is right on time for me. 👊🏾
Yes, I agree👍👍😁😁
Yes, I agree👍👍😁😁
YES YES
Great message. I stayed away from my family for years and had to seek therapy because of their negative energy towards me. Thru therapy I was able to see that they were simply jealous.
Ricky, your so right I have this problem with my daughter I can't stand to be around her, because of her nasty attutide. She has no respect for me, only for her dad he half ass raised her. By letting her do and act disrespectful to me.
I been let go, I put her in the hands of the Lord. Toke my hands off her.
I agree sometimes you have to let them go and pray for them afar....
You just preached an entire sermon!!!
THIS WAS RIGHT ON TIME FOR ME. I'VE ALREADY STARTED COUNSELING BY MYSELF. I HAD TO DISTANCE MYSELF FROM MY OWN MOTHER AND SISTER JUST TO HAVE SOME PEACE. THEY ARE JUST ALIKE AND I LOVE THEM BOTH VERY MUCH BUT THEY ARE VERY TOXIC AND DO NOT LIKE TALKING ABOUT ISSUES. TOO MANY GENERATIONAL CURSES IN MY FAMILY AND YET PEOPLE RUN TO CHURCH. DON'T GET MY WRONG WE ALL NEED JESUS BUT WE MUST GET TO THE ROOT OF THE ISSUES SO THE CYCLE AND STOP! I REALLY ENJOYED RICKEY SMILEY THIS MORNING !!!! I WILL BE SHARING THIS WITH OTHERS.
TYPO* SO THE CYCLE CAN STOP!
Amen! The late Bishop Nathaniel Holcomb taught us that we have to “face it, trace it, erase it, and replace it with the truth of God’s word!”
I cried for years over family’s hurt, and kept allowing them a seat at my table. I had to pray and do self work because we tolerate what we value as our worth. Once you know your worth you will not tolerate family or friends constantly cursing you, making you feel guilty to keep you bound. Nope I cut them loose and God removed others. Life is too short to deal with toxic, mean folks. My sister is the oldest of us 6, and has never loved me unless I was filling her pockets. It hurts but God placed friends in my life that are sisters. Take care of yourselves first! ❤️
Address real issues
Great advice Rickey! This also applies perfectly to most jobs! Most people don't choose their coworkers and you're not obligated hang out with them after hours to "build a team". Let me earn my money and let me go home.
NappyliciousTV AMEN!
What Rickey is saying is so very true. I knew exactly what he is saying now, long ago. Once I had a brother who was verbally abusive to me, and destroyed some of my property. I let him go and let God. One MUST keep and stay away from all TOXIC people for your own well-being and PEACE of mind. Many Blessings to Rickey !
I figured out a very harsh lesson in my late teens... that I accepted.. fully realized.. and acknowledged.. What I realized was that family don’t always mean love, friendship, support, caring, kindness etc.. sometimes it just means blood relatives... who are not only NOT your true friend, brother, sister, whatever... but sometimes they can treat and handle you worse than any enemy.
It’s like Joseph in the Bible, his own brothers literally hated him and were going to kill him . What makes this story extra extra bad ... is that you had 10 older brothers to all agree to KILL THEIR YOUNGER BROTHER. If it were not for Ruben stepping-in at the last second, they were all in TO KILL HIM!!!! Instead, they SOLD HIM into slavery. Then, they had no concern for hurting their father who loved Joseph, made up a lie and said he was dead. Then after ALL THOSE YEARS not one of the10 brothers ever came clean and told their father the truth.., now fast forward... even though Joseph forgave them that still don’t mean they were changed brothers, just forgiven brothers!
From this group we get the twelve tribes of Israel.., extended family.. from the seed of these murdering brothers. Well guess what ..., the twelve tribes of Israel... were a MESS MESS MESS MESS MESS. Hard headed, wicked, rebellious... and the good hearted people.., or those who desired righteousness... were despised and hated WITHIN THE FAMILY.. and had to separate themselves to please God. Point being... blood kin don’t mean they got your back automatically... sometimes it means they have a knife in your back!!!!
I also realized one day, that the guys I grew up and played with all of my youth .. were NOT MY REAL FRIENDS!!! They were my neighbors, and classmates etc... that we dealt with each other because of proximity ... but one day in my late teens .... I really really really thought about it ... I literally loved and cared about them.., I actually was their friend... but when I examined the FACTS ... they WERE NOT MY FRIENDS... they were associates, neighbors and some enemies. I left home at 17 and never looked back.. I’m 50 and lived a very peaceful life ... because I stayed far far far away from family drama. My family would sit around and talk about everyone like a dog ... including me ... passing that poison down to nieces, nephews, children and grandchildren... and being around all that toxic wasteland will give you cancer if you don’t get off of that radioactive ground...
Some families are healthy... and some are very toxic ... all I can say is do the best you can with relationships in a family... but the health of your soul and mental health should come FIRST!!!!!!
That's why I keep my distance
You said that!!! My brother invited me to the family reunion in May 2019. I told him I'm not going around some of them people that don't care for me.
Therapist told me to do this very thing- replace family members with others if needed.
I know what you mean. I went to my family reunion one year and roommate with my sister and two older cousins. For some reason they were soooo nasty too me while we were there. NEVER AGAIN!!! I too love them and helped one of them who lost their sight for awhile. It broke my heart. But never will I go anywhere with them agian.
Catrinia Smith Amen!
I came from a family of fourteen 6 sisters and 8 brothers . Lived in Calif. We had a very dysfunction family. But ! I didn't want to stay in that mess. So I read self help books and prayed and seeked help. Now I'm I have a family and didn't repeat the same mistakes. My childrens and grandchildren's are tight . I broke the curse. I have great kids and all I had to do is tell them I'm not prefect, but I love you and we can work out anything together. Happy family that has lots of love, that I didn't have. I now receive from my own family. Learn to understand what is wrong and make it right. It's your life. Smiley great session.😉
True story stay away from family members that can’t respect you for the person you are. It’s not worth tolerating negative energy from family or friends
"Hurt people, Hurt people" 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾#Therapy #Heal #Learn #Grow #Love
FACTS!!!! YOU ARE SO ON POINT...…..STAY AWAY FROM THE DEVIL
You told that and the TRUTH IS THE TRUTH! We ALL need counselor
He ain't lying. I'm "sadiddy and boujee" let my family tell it. I just don't have time to invest in bs and foolery. Grandparents were the only reason I had to come around and now they both resting. Love them but I'm not coming around.
Thank you Ricky Smiley for the few messages that you have spoken on not allowing family abuse it had gotten to the point where my mother being in my life with the toxicity that she brought challenged my mental health and my well-being and it is so sad that I had to cut her off. I have done nothing but forgive forgive and forgive and I thought that meant still being there for her making sure I had her best interest at heart because I am the oldest I am the daughter I'm supposed to make sure that my mom is okay but she has told so many lies and made it look like I'm this bad person and I can't take it anymore so now I am done I love her I forgive her but I ain't happy with her bad behavior her lies she read her Bible everyday she study she pray everyday but she messy Lord forgive me for any wrongdoing but I know I have been there for her in so many ways so many. So it brings me Comfort to know that God knows he knows my heart my intentions he know everything so that's why I am at peace wood cutting that relationship off God bless you Ricky for the confirmation that it is okay to cut folk off the brain drama and toxicity into your life. Peace is what I want peace is what I need and I am now 55 years old and I must live whatever life I have left happy.
It is a very sad situation but I agree with you, I do not go around a lot of my family members because I am so tired of talking about each other. Many of my family members that I had been there for all of my life, walked away from me when I needed them and my theory on the matter, don't stop walking. I have learned," blood isn't always thicker than water" blood will bring you to a watery disappointment. Love them from across the streets because if you allow them to crossover, your street will become a hell to pay, God bless.
You're so right.Same here.If we let em cross over it will be hell on the highway!lol
Lord you telling the true Ricky.
Stay the hell away. Family can be the worst!!! Worst than enemies.
This is sooo real. I feel like my family is trying to destroy me and the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeves has contributed to too much pain. I cant deal anymore. I have learned to stop enabling them to continue to hurt me. Going through it is hard as hell. Rickey Smiley consider going on tour with this... There are so many broken families in our community that we cant continue to blame "the system" for our failures but the lack of "family" is what's keeping us broken. Start with my family hell 😊
Rickey just dropped straight GEMS on us!!! I'm telling you, I practice exactly what he's saying. I dont care if its my owm mama. If she toxic, she can stay right over there with that poison. Its plenty of mother figures in this world I can connect with and have a healthy relationship with. Certain relatives I dont even call anymore because they dont operate like family. And that includes my children. No grown child of mine can stay living under my roof and act like a stranger. You wanna act like a stranger, get your behind out and be one for real because my peace belongs to me. I can sleep just fine at night.
I needed this. Our love for our family can often times cripple us because we simply refuse to let go of the confusion, chaos and dysfunction that a few, if not the majority of them bring. Thank you for the positive message, brutha. 🙏🏾
Rickey, thank you for stating that the root cause of issues cannot be covered up with God and/or church. Further, marrying into dysfunction, too. One thing to be loved and another to be tolerated. Keep moving forward and set boundaries. Thanks again.
I agree 100% with Rickey. It’s some folks in my family who I don’t go around. Like I know these people don’t like me, so why am I going around them! What for? I don’t need them. I focus on the ones who love me and leave the others alone!
My mom definitely needs therapy!! She needs to talk some stuff out & let things go!! I love her though!! 😍😍
fineredd88 going through the same thing with my mom...
@@sherealldavis7189 It's just something about the older generation. All those years of holding things in is not healthy!! 😟
Amen my mom too.
My mother too. She is Sooo negative and evil it's sad. I just learned her in my 40s....She has unresolved issues w her siblings and trying to put me in that mess. Talked about me like a dog with the same sister she now talks about like a dog.
I had to distance myself from my mom!!! I love her, but she is so toxic and she is a narcissist towards me. I'm the youngest. My sister is the oldest and she treats her like gold. She only deal with me when she wants something or my sister drained her financially. I couldn't deal with that behavior. Now, I'm free and at peace!
SOMETIMES GOD BLESSES US TO CHOOSE OUR OWN FAMILY. PEO PEOPLE THAT WILL LOVE & ACCEPT US...ALL OF US. IT'S OKAY TO LOVE YOUR BIOLOGICAL FAMILY FROM THE BALCONY! JUST WAVE & KEEP ON STEPPING! WE ALL JUST WANT PEACE IN OUR LIVES! ESPECIALLY AS WE GET OLDER!
@Velvet Simmons I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT SIS! LAUGHTER IS LIKE GOOD MEDICINE! GOOD FOR YOU! YOUR SO RIGHT ABOUT IT NOT BEING NORMAL.. BUT GUESS WHAT SOMETIME THEY AIN'T NORMAL🤣. GLAD YOUR ENJOYING THE LIFE GOD HAS GIVEN YOU. KEEP SHINING & SMILING! GOD BLESS!
My daughter told me just recently that she saw this
"Blood is thicker than water but blood ain't thicker than peace".
Facts!!! I keep to myself. My children and grandchildren are my "Family". 💐🙏🏼♥️🦋
That's what I strived for, I wanted my own family without tocic outside influences. It didn't work out so well, but I'm still here, still fighting, my boundaries are set and that's that, I don't care what anybody say. My peace means everything to me at this stage of my family.
Thank you for the truth! It IT may hurt but it's worth it. The older I get the more I realize I don't want to be around drama conflict or stress. I just want a cozy and inviting home, good food and smooth music and to be surrounded by happy people who are trying to live their best life.🎳🏌🎾🏋🏇🎱🎷🎸🎤
AMEN
This is so true, for peace & good health I refuse to be in toxic situations with anyone!
@Rickey Smiley you are deep
This man just told the truth, get to the root ,then repair from there, just dont act like no harm has been done. This is so true, the ones you help are the ones who hurt you.
My community is where ever I find them. I have a zero tolerance policy for any form of abuse and if it means I have to walk alone until I can connect with those who can match the vibration or take it higher. Im willing unril such time.. It is not my responsibility to help grown folk be better human beings .only love knows what we need to grow. It is our responsibility to study the celf😎
That was a pretty good root canal metaphor. I'm the root remover. And I just left a situation of 30 years of poisonous verbal/emotional abuse by envious and injured family members. Now they realize that the guilt trip doesn't bother me anymore. I don't have high blood pressure, but someone an aunt called, and my pressure went up. Now I'm debating if I should call her back.🤔
Unfortunately I live with one , evil Monday through Saturday and praising god on Sunday
That's them
This is exactly what I am doing currently with my oldest sister & her family! Her & her kids are monster's in the WORST way! Four years ago I finally threw my hands up & closed the door on them ALL.
Me. Smiley. You are so right. Some of my family members lived in the past and refuses to move on. I have a cousin who used to be a principal and at the family union. The relative insulted one of my children. It was really embarrassing because he said it in front of his childrens. He has always be narcissistic character. It's all about him. I suppose it was how he was raised
One of the best things I did for myself was to seek therapy BEFORE I had my first child. I recognized the disfunction with my mother and siblings and I refused to pass any of that down to my kids. My family thinks I act funny because I won't participate in their crazy. I love them and will do what's necessary to help them when needed, but I don't have to deal with them.
I need to do this
I know this is two years ago but I relate so much to this! My sister and brother makes terrible decisions and I always try to help or give them the proper guidance as the youngest. But I am slowly starting to realize that I can’t save them. When they make certain decisions that could possibly disrupt my life it makes me want to distance myself. I love them very much and never want to lose them but I believe it’s best I love them from afar.
You cannot pick the family that you are born into but what you can do Is This Love From Afar and pray for them from a distance AMEN
I’ve been looking for this! OMG! Thanks for sharing wisdom! I have created my Own family!
dnavilys clark amen and I’ll never treat my daughters like my mom treats me
Rickey is speaking the truth lots of families need help and to stop brushing issues under the rug.
Choose your family, choose to be happy. You said a Word right there Rickey! 🙌🏾
You hit the nail on the head!!!!! I was about to start fussing, and grabbed my phone. This was on top of my page!!!!! God is using you to help me Mr. Smiley! I have it with my family!
Choose your family! And be happy. Amen 🙏🏽
Thanks Rickey much needed advice ❤️
The ones that's the closes to you will always hurt you the most. I don't know if its because you expect more from them not the BS they give.