I Didn’t Feel Good Enough, But I Was Good Enough for God | His Grace
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- Опубликовано: 12 авг 2021
- In his moment of greatest anguish, Drew felt heaven’s peace. He learned that God knew him.
Drew was raised in a typical member home where he was taught to obey and serve. Despite separation anxiety as a child, he was strong and felt capable of serving a mission. But several weeks into his mission in the Baltic States he felt the terrible anxiety of perfectionism.“I felt that if I wasn’t doing something every second to serve the Lord-pushing myself to the breaking point-then I wasn’t deserving of His blessings,” he said.
When Drew returned home for professional help, he was diligent in scripture study and temple service. Still, he felt many low points of inadequacy. He was pricked with the nagging feeling that “no one understands. No one ever will.”
It came to the point where he decided he could no longer live this way. If happiness couldn’t be found here, maybe he could find it elsewhere. “At my lowest point,” he recounted, “I prayed to ask God how He felt about me. Am I doing the right thing?” he asked.
In response, he felt a comforting impression: “You are going to be okay. I have a plan for you. It will work out.” That feeling offered clarity and peace, he said.“I was looking in all the wrong places for appreciation and fulfillment when I should have been looking to Him,” Drew said. “No one understands you or wants your success as He does. I felt His grace through peace,” he said. “I’ve now switched my focus from perfectionism to steady progress and growth.”
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I served a full-time mission and I dealt with this kind of anxiety and depression the entire 18 months. I thought I was crazy, so I just get pushing through. I’m grateful that I’m getting the help I need, even if it took a long time after I got home. I want everyone to know that God has a plan and He loves you.
My son is at "that low point" and I just happened to click on this, I'm so glad I did! I pray he finds the revelation he needs through your message! Thank you for sharing your story!
Love this. I remember being very discouraged one day thinking nothing I did would be good enough. I remember praying and asking "what's wrong with me? Why am I so broken?"
Feeling good enough or not presents an interesting problem. If we don't feel good enough, we might give up in despair. Or, it could be the catalyst to improvement. If we do feel good enough, we might not have anxiety and depression, but we might be temped to rest on our laurels so to speak.
I had a very similar experience. A lifetime of anxiety and eventually depression. I went on a mission knowing that the anxiety would be there but I was determined to serve. Ended up coming home very early. I spent 6 months not knowing what to do with my life. I was determined to serve in some capacity. I ended up serving an 18-month service mission at the MTC. Even though I have dealt with mental health issues most of my life I know that God has a plan for me and for all of us. Life is hard at times but so rewarding. Hold on to God's love for you and he will show you the way.
I love this! I am a Service Missionary, and I felt for a while like I had failed. I went to a year of college, and that was hard, I had anxiety and flashbacks that got so bad that I couldn't eat, I couldn't function, I couldn't really be myself. It was so scary but in my Gethsemane, Jesus was there! He helped me to find the counseling building and tell them that I was really not ok, and I was able to get a blessing and medication and eventually go home. I am so thankful for Jesus, and counseling! I am able to serve Him, even though it's not in the way that I wanted to.
Journey before Destination
Through His Grace, we can trade perfection for progression. Thank you for telling your story!
So very happy this young man called upon the name of the Lord as he faced a very dark place in his life. If only my son had done the same.
Whoever reading this Heavenly Father loves you so much!
I struggle with perfectionism. This video helped me to feel like I was understood. When he said," “If I wasn’t expending every last bit of energy pushing myself to the breaking point that I wasn’t going to be blessed" I connected to it in a way I've never connected to anything before. I love this video so much! It helped me to feel understood, and to understand my struggles better. I just want everyone watching this to know that you deserve joy and love, and that God loves you!
I really like these REAL world issues & help we get to overcome & gain other keen insight. SOMETIMES I feel like I get more out of these videos than going to church because here it seems more real & genuine. I never want to be that guy that is fake, not real or sincere. Like you my friends & thus video its Grace after all we can do. Thank you!
Love the fact that because God loves us, we are infinitely good enough 🙏 We are going to be okay fellas.
This is what Elder Uchtdorf warned about. Members cannot fall into the trap of toxic perfectionism. It destroys people physically and mentally. The Savior knows all our weaknesses and strengths. He understands if a person cannot complete a mission or had trouble coping in life.
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.".
So grateful to have been able to do this! To anyone reading this, you can do it. You can make it. There is light ahead.
It's great to see the Church tackle tough subjects like the ones found in this series. The young man coming home from his mission early (from the MTC) reminded my of my own brother who had the same difficulties. He also experienced a degree of judgement from some fellow ward members for this "failure" and it has shaped his life in the Church ever since. I'd really like to see a video on this series addressing the very real problem of un-Christlike behavior in our wards towards each other. I've seen it drive people out of the Church. It's not enough to tell people to just strengthen their testimonies or they're "not spiritual enough" if they struggle with judgemental members (or cliques in particular if you're a young woman). This type of behavior exists in every walk of life, even the Lord's Restored Church. But it needs to be addressed so that those with budding testimonies or those who are struggling with problems that preclude them from fitting in to the perfect Gospel Family Mold aren't steam-rolled away from the very source of help they need (what the Ward Family ought to be) by those that espouse to "know that the Church is true" and yet display through their actions the exact opposite.
Luke 4:18 17 So the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to Jesus, and he opened the scroll and found the place where it was written:
“Jehovah’s spirit is upon me, because HE ANOITED ME to declare good news to the poor. HE SENT ME to proclaim liberty to the captives and a recovery of sight to the blind, to send the crushed ones away free
God bless you all 🙏✝️❤️😇🙌👼👑
My kids have felt like this in their lives! I don't know how to help them as adults but we try to get lots of therapy and I pray that the Lord will one day help us return to Him!