A friend is someone you go out of your way to see or interact with. An acquaintance is someone you only really talk to when you have to ie a classmate, neighbor, or coworker.
Best I could say is friends are the ones I could have unawkward silences with. I could just drop by at their place while they do their work, hang out like it's my home without specifically doing any activity and then go out somewhere together when their work's done or then actually catch up with them
I think an important part of what makes a friendship meaningful is if you are able to be real with them, as in not just present one side of yourself or a partial facade, but also display all other sides and emotions. To ask for help when you need it, to be angry when you are, to show them or indicate in some way that your are sad or hurting, even making mistakes with them and working out those mistakes together. At least to me, often times the real difference between a friend and an aquenatince is the level of conflict resolution we have and the willingness we each have to be honest even when it may cause a conflict. The freedom to be yourself, the freedom for them to be theirself and the responsibilities that come with that I suppose.
Comes down to what you class as a "friend" i guess ultimately. With online spaces growing it's definitely much easier to make connections than ever before, but bridging the gap from acquiantances to friends is definitely something i've struggled with in a physical sense, particularly as an adult.
some people are surprised & scared when they are told to separate into 2 group of their friend & "hobby friend" because now they realize that they don't have any friend after that
Hearing you boys talk about this has been really comforting and enlightening in someways. I often have anxiety about this kind of stuff, especially since I don't think I'm great at holding connections with people and often fear that people don't think about me after a while, but hearing you guys talk about what makes a good friend, someone who you can talk to after no contact for months like no time has passed at all, had reassured me a bit that maybe I can still call those people friends
I've basically molded myself to not get into any drama whatsoever that its incredibly hard to say anything out of my mind comfortably that I feel like I'm that acquaintance in every group. The last time I was able to genuinely speak my mind was in yr 9 until my friend moved away and didn't try connecting with him not knowing it would be one of my last best mates. I hope I can make myself strive to get that same friendship again naturally through improving myself but I have a long way to go
Women get lonely too... I feel like I have plenty of friends, but none of my close friends live in the same town. I have a heap of acquaintances. A lot of my not close friends feel like acquaintances now.
I personally think that Garnt's prerequisite for true friends is probably the most accurate. What Joey mentions about picking things up immediately after a set time makes sense, but it's also something that I see applied more generally today anyways as part of "adulting", whether it be casual friends, close friends, or with acquaintances. I see people do that as an adult social norm regardless, as opposed to something like comfortably being yourself in front of another.
I think what Joey means is picking up energies, like you were never apart, even if you don't contact each other as often. Based on my experience, I had friends that enjoyed being with but when we became apart and met again, the same energy or close-ness wasn't there anymore, while the closest one I have, albeit just 3 lol, we meet up once a year, without any contact before then, and we banter like we just saw each other the other day.
I only have online friends, I just feel comfortable talking in a voice chat or messaging vs an in person interaction. I think part of it is due to my autism and finding social interaction awkward to me outside of talking to my family or colleagues.
I think real life friends still better than online because you knew his/her personality just by having conversation with them. The body language usually says it all. But the advantage of online friend is they understand what you like, your hobby, I mean more specifically sharing the same likes and in the same community while real life friends often talk things randomly
they clearly never have been lonely to know or recognize how and what loneliness actually is. be glad at the very least you have a good family if you are lucky in that context.
I have a hard time keeping online friends. If we can't find the time (or make the time) to at least meet once every six months, I have no context of how you are as a person. I read the room based on visual and tonal cues. It's more difficult parsing just words. The good side is the friends I do have also value spending time in person. Absolutely valid making friends online and plenty of ppl feel fulfilled that way but maybe the lonely ppl feel like me and feel more connected in real. Which makes it harder cause there's more things to be judged by. And there is a loneliness epidemic. There's other in depth studies featuring rising zucides, depression, etc. Healthygamergg is my RUclips of choice in looking into that. Glad this became a topic to discuss!
It is very hard to define a friend. I've had people I thought were my friends, only to find out secondhand from one of them that they actually didn't like me that way and neither did a few other people in their subgroup. When I asked them if it was anything specific I would say or do, they pretty much all said they couldn't single any one thing out. I don't hang out with them anymore, because at the end of the day here's what I think a friend is: a person who understands communication is a two way street and feels close enough to tell you specifically the things you say or do didn't vibe with them. An acquaintance won't be able to tell you what it is about you that you need to work on, because they aren't invested in your growth as a person - they simply don't care enough about you to do so, and that's pretty fair on their part. A friend wants to keep you in their life, so they'll be straightforward and reasonable about it as well.
Friends have always been difficult for me, I’ve had people who I though were friends but ended up betraying me. I’m glad I have a good group of friends that I can trust now, my mum still thinks I have no friends cause she hasn’t met my friends
I've had the same group of online friends since I was 11, now I'm 26. We talk every day in chats, they're my closest friends. I've had several friends irl, but, I end up falling out with them due to moving schools or moving locations, etc. In that regard, I feel like it's much easier to keep an online friend than an irl one in today's climate, as youre already used to talking to them every day online. Meanwhile, it'd be hard to suddenly try to train an online friendship with an irl friend that you rarely ever talked to online before.
Statistics without context can be used to back any argument in bad faith. Most people don't study the process and tenents of academic research and lack the statistical literacy to properly interpret them. After taking a stat class with a professor who literally wrote a well regarded text book on the subject, I can't help but see how many false/bad stats are thrown about in media routinely.
i've got like two friends from online that i'd consider irl friends one became my second best friend and really it's just us trying to arrange our lives so that we can see each other being pushed back by various things and then after that things hopefully being stable enough that we can visit more since it's different countries but i used to live in the same one as her. the other friend lives in a different state but we have lose plans to meet up also when life chills out so i think i agree that it's meeting up with people but also there's some people without the means to see friends they met online but would want to meet in person so i think that kind of friendship is very valid as well
There are people I have been friends with that I havent reached out to in years. I just don't feel its necessary, but there are others that I have never met in person that I cherish and do my best to contact at least once a week in order to maintain the friendship we do have. Friendship and the "realness" of it is dependent on how the two of you are invested. I have people that I have only met online that are far more invested in my life than some of my IRL close friends. Its all dependent on a variety of factors.
As you mentioned, it really depends on how you interact with the person. Bildung friendships takes time, so if you text, (video)call a lot and feel it easier to share your problems texting than meeting in person, that can be deeper than someone you meet irl. Usually I always get along with people irl when I could while texting. The thing is, that it is still more natural to build friendships irl, since we have more experience in that. So while texting, you might not see the signs that might be a green or red flag. Takes practice. For me personally the perks of an online friendship is, that can share information or have a conversation whenever you feel like it, because there is no need for an immediate response. So the effort you have to put into is much easier to fulfill and have deeper convos.
I'm 28 and I had to move back in with my parents because otherwise I wouldn't speak to another human being for weeks at a time. Loneliness is real and as much as I would like to move out, that would mean giving up on my parents who are the only friends I have.
A big un-talked about point of loneliness, atleast in car dependent countries like the USA, is City design. If you entire day revolves around you taking your car and driving to all these spread out places that are far away and isolated (fenced suburbs, office cubicles, etc) then of course your chance of loneliness will be higher
I have a lot of online friends, most of them are foreigners and a fewer were from my country, Philippines. I do agree with Joey in 2:58 that just because we only talk online and never meet up in person doesn't make them less of a friend. Long distance may seem like a minor issue, but still, the connection is there 😃 10:49 And you just lost touch with your friends, no longer talking and no longer hanging out. Just lost touch cuz of the virus and of new friends. That happened with my guy friend who was now in another school, another city, and has new other friends. We still talk online and we even reunited at a mall but not as much as we used to
A “friend” is someone you can ask 1. “Would you like to hang out” And 2. “Can you help me with this task” And if that person would say “yes” most of the time to both of those questions, they’re a friend, not an acquaintance, they’re a friend
I have an easier time telling my online friends about my problems. Garnts metric isn’t very good on that basis. I’m a super lonely dude in general, I spend maybe a day or two every month with a friend, when they’re around. The rest of the time I spend alone, so I talk on discord sometimes too
Personally I think people who you sometimes talk to once in a while or have only talked to a few times are acquaintances, while friends are people you talk to all the time/share a connection with. I have 5 online and 1 irl friend. While there are others I talk to sometimes but I don’t say I’m friends with cause meh 😕
Nope, true friends you don’t need to speak to or hang every time. I have close friends that i don’t meet in months, maybe years. When we meet it’s as if nothing happened. The vibe still there and can be myself. You could have friends you speak with everyday and they aren’t true friends.
Also I have 1 true close friend I known since 2011, like I’m fortunate to have this person. And 3 friends I can meet anytime. If you need anyone I can be your friend
I have classemates that I talk to but I don't really interact with anyone once I'm outside of school. I think I have aquintances but no actual friends.
Imagine you are stranded in a bad situation, not bad enough for emergency services. You can't call family members. What friends would you call? That my gauge for friends. I tell you the good and bad in my life, I'm seeking out your company, and even as an introvert, I feel rejuvenated after you leave. I'm not thinking, "Okay, I've had enough, get out."
Can we not agree that Making friends online is the norm now? Since we are all connected online, why can't we just see them as real friends. I feel like some people can't understand that online friends are more friends that people u can meet IRL. And for Connor saying online friends aren't real friends, are you saying iromouse not a real friend to him? Just tryna prove a point.
Sure you can consider them friends but keep in mind people are much different then their online persona. So what you think is your friend is actually VERY different in person. Either way if you call me a friend but don't want to hangout with me in person you aren't really my friend.
Clearly you haven't live long enough to differentiate between an online friend and a real friend. Like the person above me said. Go touch some grass...
NGL... Most of my friends moved out of the country or drifted apart during lock down... And it's not easy getting to know people when you are a 30 years old guy who works from home and has 2 jobs and stuff... So yeah... It's hard to make friends on 2023 (?
Living in the states, in a state that doesn’t exactly seem to want to keep people alive, mental health awareness/care is tough… but also, I think maybe men are slowly starting to open up about being alone (or feelings in general). I know my dad would’ve never said shit like that were he still around bc that generation just suppressed the fuck out of everything
I feel like I’m lucky I have 3 friends. One I am very close with known since I was a kid , in 2011. Strongest bond I have with him. I’m fortunate I have a real friend, which I found is the hardest part. Anyone can have 100 friends but how many real ones?
You can have lots of friends and still feel lonely.. not to be that guy lol buy I think jjk nail what I'm saying... Through Geto, gojo & shoko relationship
People complaining about being lonely is mostly their own fault. They have social anxieties and instead of working on them like an adult they cry in the corner.
There is a cap for the amount of people you can care about. Its around 150, anything beyond that is meaningless. So having 50 actual friends is getting up there.
A friend is someone you go out of your way to see or interact with. An acquaintance is someone you only really talk to when you have to ie a classmate, neighbor, or coworker.
then there's those awkward moments where the people you considered friends really only see you as an acquaintance
Best I could say is friends are the ones I could have unawkward silences with. I could just drop by at their place while they do their work, hang out like it's my home without specifically doing any activity and then go out somewhere together when their work's done or then actually catch up with them
Thisssssss
The more we insult each other, the better friends we are.
Ah, bonding through vitriol. Very wholesome
Have you been to call of duty lobby in 2007?
As you get older it becomes harder to make friends, I don't know if I have someone I can genuinely call a friend but in a way I'm kinda use to it
I think an important part of what makes a friendship meaningful is if you are able to be real with them, as in not just present one side of yourself or a partial facade, but also display all other sides and emotions. To ask for help when you need it, to be angry when you are, to show them or indicate in some way that your are sad or hurting, even making mistakes with them and working out those mistakes together. At least to me, often times the real difference between a friend and an aquenatince is the level of conflict resolution we have and the willingness we each have to be honest even when it may cause a conflict. The freedom to be yourself, the freedom for them to be theirself and the responsibilities that come with that I suppose.
Worst spelling of acquaintances i've ever seen.
ok professor
dear God they've been Americanized
@@cyano3dknowing basic English makes him a professor? 💀
@@Jesusluvz being annoying does
@@cyano3d how old are you? 12?
Comes down to what you class as a "friend" i guess ultimately. With online spaces growing it's definitely much easier to make connections than ever before, but bridging the gap from acquiantances to friends is definitely something i've struggled with in a physical sense, particularly as an adult.
some people are surprised & scared when they are told to separate into 2 group of their friend & "hobby friend" because now they realize that they don't have any friend after that
Hearing you boys talk about this has been really comforting and enlightening in someways. I often have anxiety about this kind of stuff, especially since I don't think I'm great at holding connections with people and often fear that people don't think about me after a while, but hearing you guys talk about what makes a good friend, someone who you can talk to after no contact for months like no time has passed at all, had reassured me a bit that maybe I can still call those people friends
I've basically molded myself to not get into any drama whatsoever that its incredibly hard to say anything out of my mind comfortably that I feel like I'm that acquaintance in every group. The last time I was able to genuinely speak my mind was in yr 9 until my friend moved away and didn't try connecting with him not knowing it would be one of my last best mates. I hope I can make myself strive to get that same friendship again naturally through improving myself but I have a long way to go
Aquantances are easy, have fun making a friend as an adult.
Lucky for me aquantances are enough to have my social meter statisfied. Most of the time.
Women get lonely too... I feel like I have plenty of friends, but none of my close friends live in the same town. I have a heap of acquaintances. A lot of my not close friends feel like acquaintances now.
I personally think that Garnt's prerequisite for true friends is probably the most accurate. What Joey mentions about picking things up immediately after a set time makes sense, but it's also something that I see applied more generally today anyways as part of "adulting", whether it be casual friends, close friends, or with acquaintances. I see people do that as an adult social norm regardless, as opposed to something like comfortably being yourself in front of another.
I think what Joey means is picking up energies, like you were never apart, even if you don't contact each other as often. Based on my experience, I had friends that enjoyed being with but when we became apart and met again, the same energy or close-ness wasn't there anymore, while the closest one I have, albeit just 3 lol, we meet up once a year, without any contact before then, and we banter like we just saw each other the other day.
@@pennyinheavenAhh yes, now that I can understand
I love how peaceful you guy's convo is❤😅
I only have online friends, I just feel comfortable talking in a voice chat or messaging vs an in person interaction. I think part of it is due to my autism and finding social interaction awkward to me outside of talking to my family or colleagues.
I think real life friends still better than online because you knew his/her personality just by having conversation with them. The body language usually says it all. But the advantage of online friend is they understand what you like, your hobby, I mean more specifically sharing the same likes and in the same community while real life friends often talk things randomly
they clearly never have been lonely to know or recognize how and what loneliness actually is. be glad at the very least you have a good family if you are lucky in that context.
I have a hard time keeping online friends. If we can't find the time (or make the time) to at least meet once every six months, I have no context of how you are as a person. I read the room based on visual and tonal cues. It's more difficult parsing just words. The good side is the friends I do have also value spending time in person.
Absolutely valid making friends online and plenty of ppl feel fulfilled that way but maybe the lonely ppl feel like me and feel more connected in real. Which makes it harder cause there's more things to be judged by.
And there is a loneliness epidemic. There's other in depth studies featuring rising zucides, depression, etc. Healthygamergg is my RUclips of choice in looking into that. Glad this became a topic to discuss!
It is very hard to define a friend. I've had people I thought were my friends, only to find out secondhand from one of them that they actually didn't like me that way and neither did a few other people in their subgroup. When I asked them if it was anything specific I would say or do, they pretty much all said they couldn't single any one thing out. I don't hang out with them anymore, because at the end of the day here's what I think a friend is: a person who understands communication is a two way street and feels close enough to tell you specifically the things you say or do didn't vibe with them. An acquaintance won't be able to tell you what it is about you that you need to work on, because they aren't invested in your growth as a person - they simply don't care enough about you to do so, and that's pretty fair on their part. A friend wants to keep you in their life, so they'll be straightforward and reasonable about it as well.
Friends have always been difficult for me, I’ve had people who I though were friends but ended up betraying me. I’m glad I have a good group of friends that I can trust now, my mum still thinks I have no friends cause she hasn’t met my friends
I've had the same group of online friends since I was 11, now I'm 26. We talk every day in chats, they're my closest friends. I've had several friends irl, but, I end up falling out with them due to moving schools or moving locations, etc. In that regard, I feel like it's much easier to keep an online friend than an irl one in today's climate, as youre already used to talking to them every day online. Meanwhile, it'd be hard to suddenly try to train an online friendship with an irl friend that you rarely ever talked to online before.
Statistics without context can be used to back any argument in bad faith. Most people don't study the process and tenents of academic research and lack the statistical literacy to properly interpret them. After taking a stat class with a professor who literally wrote a well regarded text book on the subject, I can't help but see how many false/bad stats are thrown about in media routinely.
I have neither lol
Same it’s been a while I learned to live with it. I feel like it shrank my social battery somehow
I feel that I have only acquaintances with no “friends”.
I used to but I’ve got friends that I are actually my friends
Just be with ur real friends. U don’t need fake ones. Hard to figure if u got many tho
i've got like two friends from online that i'd consider irl friends one became my second best friend and really it's just us trying to arrange our lives so that we can see each other being pushed back by various things and then after that things hopefully being stable enough that we can visit more since it's different countries but i used to live in the same one as her. the other friend lives in a different state but we have lose plans to meet up also when life chills out so i think i agree that it's meeting up with people but also there's some people without the means to see friends they met online but would want to meet in person so i think that kind of friendship is very valid as well
There are people I have been friends with that I havent reached out to in years. I just don't feel its necessary, but there are others that I have never met in person that I cherish and do my best to contact at least once a week in order to maintain the friendship we do have.
Friendship and the "realness" of it is dependent on how the two of you are invested. I have people that I have only met online that are far more invested in my life than some of my IRL close friends. Its all dependent on a variety of factors.
As you mentioned, it really depends on how you interact with the person. Bildung friendships takes time, so if you text, (video)call a lot and feel it easier to share your problems texting than meeting in person, that can be deeper than someone you meet irl. Usually I always get along with people irl when I could while texting. The thing is, that it is still more natural to build friendships irl, since we have more experience in that. So while texting, you might not see the signs that might be a green or red flag. Takes practice. For me personally the perks of an online friendship is, that can share information or have a conversation whenever you feel like it, because there is no need for an immediate response. So the effort you have to put into is much easier to fulfill and have deeper convos.
I'm 28 and I had to move back in with my parents because otherwise I wouldn't speak to another human being for weeks at a time. Loneliness is real and as much as I would like to move out, that would mean giving up on my parents who are the only friends I have.
A big un-talked about point of loneliness, atleast in car dependent countries like the USA, is City design. If you entire day revolves around you taking your car and driving to all these spread out places that are far away and isolated (fenced suburbs, office cubicles, etc) then of course your chance of loneliness will be higher
I have a lot of online friends, most of them are foreigners and a fewer were from my country, Philippines. I do agree with Joey in 2:58 that just because we only talk online and never meet up in person doesn't make them less of a friend. Long distance may seem like a minor issue, but still, the connection is there 😃
10:49 And you just lost touch with your friends, no longer talking and no longer hanging out. Just lost touch cuz of the virus and of new friends. That happened with my guy friend who was now in another school, another city, and has new other friends. We still talk online and we even reunited at a mall but not as much as we used to
My code to consider a friend is indeeda friend if I choose too hang out with them or not...
A “friend” is someone you can ask
1. “Would you like to hang out”
And
2. “Can you help me with this task”
And if that person would say “yes” most of the time to both of those questions, they’re a friend, not an acquaintance, they’re a friend
Conner I like your shirt, not sure what the "animal?" Is but the pattern looks really nice.
Connor is going to town spinning that toy car.
Difference bewteen a friend and an acquaintance for grant, can he eat pizza with a fork and knife with them.
I have an easier time telling my online friends about my problems. Garnts metric isn’t very good on that basis. I’m a super lonely dude in general, I spend maybe a day or two every month with a friend, when they’re around. The rest of the time I spend alone, so I talk on discord sometimes too
Loneliness is a feeling. It’s not reliant on the amount of friends, rather the quality. If your friends aren’t good quality then you will be lonely.
I feel like is more easy to do friend on internet 😅😅
How to quantify loneliness. Imagine if you break you leg tomorrow, do you have anyone willing to take care of you?
connor this whole video 🚗🔃🔃🔃🔃
Personally I think people who you sometimes talk to once in a while or have only talked to a few times are acquaintances, while friends are people you talk to all the time/share a connection with. I have 5 online and 1 irl friend. While there are others I talk to sometimes but I don’t say I’m friends with cause meh 😕
Nope, true friends you don’t need to speak to or hang every time. I have close friends that i don’t meet in months, maybe years. When we meet it’s as if nothing happened. The vibe still there and can be myself.
You could have friends you speak with everyday and they aren’t true friends.
Also I have 1 true close friend I known since 2011, like I’m fortunate to have this person. And 3 friends I can meet anytime. If you need anyone I can be your friend
@@EOMMunaware yeah same. I’ve had more online friends then irl ones and they are more genuine then my former irl friends have ever been.
I have classemates that I talk to but I don't really interact with anyone once I'm outside of school. I think I have aquintances but no actual friends.
Imagine you are stranded in a bad situation, not bad enough for emergency services. You can't call family members. What friends would you call?
That my gauge for friends. I tell you the good and bad in my life, I'm seeking out your company, and even as an introvert, I feel rejuvenated after you leave.
I'm not thinking, "Okay, I've had enough, get out."
Can we not agree that Making friends online is the norm now? Since we are all connected online, why can't we just see them as real friends. I feel like some people can't understand that online friends are more friends that people u can meet IRL.
And for Connor saying online friends aren't real friends, are you saying iromouse not a real friend to him? Just tryna prove a point.
Sure you can consider them friends but keep in mind people are much different then their online persona. So what you think is your friend is actually VERY different in person. Either way if you call me a friend but don't want to hangout with me in person you aren't really my friend.
i still meet all my friends IRL. I feel like only terminally online people think making friends through online is the norm
Touch some grass
Clearly you haven't live long enough to differentiate between an online friend and a real friend. Like the person above me said. Go touch some grass...
A lot of things are different in person, you can call it friends but IRL there are some things you can't hide.
NGL... Most of my friends moved out of the country or drifted apart during lock down... And it's not easy getting to know people when you are a 30 years old guy who works from home and has 2 jobs and stuff...
So yeah... It's hard to make friends on 2023 (?
This reminds me of the VSauce2 video for Dunbar's Number (invention of Friends)
Definitely worth the watch as it's on this exact topic
Living in the states, in a state that doesn’t exactly seem to want to keep people alive, mental health awareness/care is tough… but also, I think maybe men are slowly starting to open up about being alone (or feelings in general). I know my dad would’ve never said shit like that were he still around bc that generation just suppressed the fuck out of everything
Connor really nailed my experience during the pandemic
Love the typo
Great. Now where do I find these friends?
The step one is always get out and put you in a situation where you need to comunicate
I agree my friends and I have been gamer friends for 4 years and we all just went to the other ones wedding and met irl last week 🎉
4:22 What Did Garnt Say
I feel like I’m lucky I have 3 friends. One I am very close with known since I was a kid , in 2011. Strongest bond I have with him. I’m fortunate I have a real friend, which I found is the hardest part. Anyone can have 100 friends but how many real ones?
There is a differences between feeling lonely and being lonely
Minor spelling mistake
everyone should know the difference
Ah yes, so many aquintances and tarantinos
I don’t think streaming video games counts as overtime
"I n my opinion,those facts are questionable."
Say that again buddy
Did…did Garnt call himself an introvert?
😂🎉 yesss
My rule is that you aren't real friends unless you feel comfortable saying the n word to each other💀💀
What is this a self help book
I would like a new friend or five
Oooo! Can they all like D&D?
You can have lots of friends and still feel lonely.. not to be that guy lol buy I think jjk nail what I'm saying... Through Geto, gojo & shoko relationship
People complaining about being lonely is mostly their own fault. They have social anxieties and instead of working on them like an adult they cry in the corner.
I dont have 1 friend
There is a cap for the amount of people you can care about. Its around 150, anything beyond that is meaningless. So having 50 actual friends is getting up there.
No joke if you have 50 there’s something not right. Either your a celebrity or 90% aren’t real friends. It’s just how it is