Similar. In a nutshell for me, Confidence is: - Clarity (know what you're dealing with), - Competence (ability to deal with the thing), and - Independence (ability to listen to yourself, know yourself & stand up for yourself. Feedback from others is good, but still gotta draw boundaries & don't get so defined by others that you're pushed around like a puppet of their projection, as you'll be lost).
The advice regarding confidence that worked best for me was: Confidence comes from competence. For example: If you're not confident onstream, you can improve your confidence as a streamer by streaming more often. Kinda like: Improve your confidence in specific areas. When you have enough areas, you'll get more confident overall.
FIRST sry I couldn't resist This was such a new take on confidence for me I've never really thought abt it in this way thank you sm Mari for this vid 😭😭🫶🫶🫶 and thank you to whoever that asked it aaaa
I see it cute how you talk about yourself. Can't say if it's good for video message or not. I kinda knew of the "say someone's lazy and he will become lazy" effect, but now I started thinking how easily some opinions can become fact Now I'll be nervous of giving complements, thinking how it might change a person. And never say bad things of course.
Never had this growing up Here’s how I built up confidence and yes I was scared of being bit by people like Mari. 101 confidence building: DONT TLDR - go find yourself (this part isn’t a joke) But in all seriousness the best way to build confidence is going out of your comfort zone/circle. It’s an experiment everyday - meeting people and building relationships (it’s not an object that you can see it’s a “sense”/feeling) How I did it: being able to “banter”. This is how I build relationships (online/in person) - I do this in the comment session a lot / chat It’s like “making friends” (whatever that is). People can give x y z advice but it’s also up to you the individual to put that advice into action (it may work for you it may not- that’s the experiment) Btw if you’re using confidence to talk to girls (yabe - girls are scary)
1:10 one of ways that i believe built my confidence is starting with small things. Making for example more firm voice in certain situations where u usually were hesitating or cut off words of uncertainty like 'maybe' (i still kinda use them but i try to not use them). Its hard but i think small things will eventually build up your confidence with time. But this advice is more for general confidence.
Great message Mari Yumi, always starting out strong on Mari Monday. I just want to add that Self control is the bedrock of self confidence. If you want to cultivate your self confidence, then you must take a risk and put yourself to the test and take on challenges. It doesnt matter what challenge you actually take on, but I call these challenges "rites of passage." If you take on a challenging project, whether you succeed or fail will directly impact your confidence levels in the future. When your confidence is challenged, you can always remember your hard work and accomplishment to help you push through when things are difficult. EXAMPLE: "I prevailed over my right of passage event, so now I can think about my success and my great accomplishments when things get tough. And since I beat this intense challenge, that means I know myself better and I am prepared and ready toface any new challenge. This reminds me of the story of David and Goliath from the old testament. I'm going to paraphrase a bit here, so bare with me as I recount the legend. David with his trusty sling, while working as a shepard killed many lions and bears in his line of duty protecting his flock of sheep from predators. These were David's first victories and his right of passage. And he would draw upon this strength when the giant Goliath was stomping around trying to impose Philistine rule over the Israelites through their military might and their preceved superiority. Goliath challenged the Israelites to a 1v1 duel of champions to determine the outcome of the war, but every israelite cowered away from Goliath's challenge, everyone was afraid of David g the giant in battle except for David who was confident enough to face Goliath in a 1v1 duel as the champion of the Israelite army. The confidence David acquired from defending his flock from wild beasts taught him what he needed so he could be strong for his people in the face of adversity. In preparation, David picked 5 of the smoothest stones from the bed of a mighty river. Only Stones that were battered and eroded to perfection in the current of the river would be suitable for the job of slaying a giant. Knowing himself, and his own capabilities, David put his faith in the lord, and he prevailed against the giant in combat by putting that smoothest and perfectly accurate stone dead center between the eyes of Goliath, and then when the giant was stunned and reeling, David wasted no time and he cut off Goliath's head off with his own sword. The Phillistines were defeated in this duel. David was so impossibly victorious that the Philistines disbanded their army knowing they could never defeat gods chosen people. The people celebrated David as a victorious hero, and David very faithfully gave all the glory to God. When King Saul's rule was over, David succeeded the royal line and became king of Israel. Heh, I didn't know I would overstay my lunch break to write this out, but it was worth it. Thanks again Mari Yume. You are so inspirational, and I will always appreciate you and your work.
I love the way you break down confidence into simple steps and storytelling something that's very personal to you. I agree that self-control is key! Thank you for taking the time to leave this well thought out message under my video and I hope you enjoyed your lunch!! ^_^
MARI MARI MARI MARI! :D also try the advice Anon! Mari helped me push into being a vtuber as well so can you! YOU GOT THIS POPS FUGG EM UP BRO! >:D you too Mari. 👍
Quite a complex topic, but: Searching for confidence can be seen as a learned avoidance strategy to avoid suffering from some negative emotions. Did the job > got 2/10 (almost perfect) > got a negative reaction from people > are afraid to start because of lack of confidence (but in fact the problem is different). Instead of a negative reaction from people, there can be negativity itself, where "someone like me won't succeed, it's difficult, I can't" or "I need to study a lot" or some other reason. Well, and the banal fear that someone will judge, which is supported not by your own personal experience, but by fantasies or other people's words. Work is done not by confidence, but by labor. Learn how to do things so that they speak for you, and not your attitude towards them. Being unsure is normal. This is a natural state, the same as farting. But an overly strong reaction to farting or nervousness is not. You shouldn't compare yourself to the gods. The sea depths are not explored by 99% yet, there is enough space for everyone. Sharks, whales, crabs and others. Consumers of the gifts of the ocean only benefit from the increase in population. Only your actions can change anything. You can avoid negative feelings, or you can learn from them. The more you learn, the less influence and more control. Don't think, just start doing. The more you think, the more interference there will be. I DON'T WANT TO WORK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tehehehehehe I'll go read manga. Is this really freedom?
The best way I've heard confidence being described is "surviving failure". This doesn't exactly mean trauma, but more about when times get hard (because you decided to engage in hard things) how were you able to make it out while still remaining assured of your self-worth? I'll put it this way, when you have multiple successes what you get is imposter syndrome. Why? Because if you suck at something, it goes against all this evidence telling you who you are. But if you manage to survive and learn from failure? You gain competence and confidence. Put shortly, confidence is about the full range of growth mindset: what's the right help? what can I learn?
I've a degree in philosophy, I've looked over many different conceptualizations of the 'self' over time but it's usually more of a tangential thing and not a huge focus of discussion (closest to it was probably in discussing philosophy of the mind, but even then, the 'self' only makes up a bit of that)... Like I know Rousseau for example has 3 conceptualizations of the 'self' in his one philosophical outlook (iirc it was the natural self, unnatural self, and perfect self or something like that)... But yeah, never really considered the idea of there being no self... Again, didn't really have a class that focused on the self as a concept directly... BUT after looking into it this sounds a bit like Aristotle's idea of the 'self' maybe in that the self really just exists through doing activities...
Similar. In a nutshell for me, Confidence is:
- Clarity (know what you're dealing with),
- Competence (ability to deal with the thing), and
- Independence (ability to listen to yourself, know yourself & stand up for yourself. Feedback from others is good, but still gotta draw boundaries & don't get so defined by others that you're pushed around like a puppet of their projection, as you'll be lost).
The advice regarding confidence that worked best for me was: Confidence comes from competence. For example: If you're not confident onstream, you can improve your confidence as a streamer by streaming more often. Kinda like: Improve your confidence in specific areas. When you have enough areas, you'll get more confident overall.
I've heard that explained as proving and reaffirming yourself that you're capable and can keep learning and improving and achieving things
For me confidence is the feeling that you are confortable with what you're doing, feeling or only thinking
I turned my self depreciation into blind self aggrandizing and fuck it we ball and tbh it kind of worked
MARI MONDAY IS BACK! WE ARE SO BACK!
WAKE UP BABE ITS MARI MONDAY!!
FIRST sry I couldn't resist
This was such a new take on confidence for me I've never really thought abt it in this way thank you sm Mari for this vid 😭😭🫶🫶🫶 and thank you to whoever that asked it aaaa
I see it cute how you talk about yourself. Can't say if it's good for video message or not.
I kinda knew of the "say someone's lazy and he will become lazy" effect, but now I started thinking how easily some opinions can become fact Now I'll be nervous of giving complements, thinking how it might change a person. And never say bad things of course.
Hey Mari this video was personally super helpful to me and I appreciate you making the video with your insights on confidence.
Never had this growing up
Here’s how I built up confidence and yes I was scared of being bit by people like Mari.
101 confidence building: DONT
TLDR - go find yourself (this part isn’t a joke)
But in all seriousness the best way to build confidence is going out of your comfort zone/circle. It’s an experiment everyday - meeting people and building relationships (it’s not an object that you can see it’s a “sense”/feeling)
How I did it: being able to “banter”. This is how I build relationships (online/in person) - I do this in the comment session a lot / chat
It’s like “making friends” (whatever that is). People can give x y z advice but it’s also up to you the individual to put that advice into action (it may work for you it may not- that’s the experiment)
Btw if you’re using confidence to talk to girls (yabe - girls are scary)
1:10 one of ways that i believe built my confidence is starting with small things. Making for example more firm voice in certain situations where u usually were hesitating or cut off words of uncertainty like 'maybe' (i still kinda use them but i try to not use them). Its hard but i think small things will eventually build up your confidence with time.
But this advice is more for general confidence.
Great message Mari Yumi, always starting out strong on Mari Monday. I just want to add that Self control is the bedrock of self confidence. If you want to cultivate your self confidence, then you must take a risk and put yourself to the test and take on challenges. It doesnt matter what challenge you actually take on, but I call these challenges "rites of passage." If you take on a challenging project, whether you succeed or fail will directly impact your confidence levels in the future. When your confidence is challenged, you can always remember your hard work and accomplishment to help you push through when things are difficult. EXAMPLE: "I prevailed over my right of passage event, so now I can think about my success and my great accomplishments when things get tough. And since I beat this intense challenge, that means I know myself better and I am prepared and ready toface any new challenge. This reminds me of the story of David and Goliath from the old testament. I'm going to paraphrase a bit here, so bare with me as I recount the legend. David with his trusty sling, while working as a shepard killed many lions and bears in his line of duty protecting his flock of sheep from predators. These were David's first victories and his right of passage. And he would draw upon this strength when the giant Goliath was stomping around trying to impose Philistine rule over the Israelites through their military might and their preceved superiority. Goliath challenged the Israelites to a 1v1 duel of champions to determine the outcome of the war, but every israelite cowered away from Goliath's challenge, everyone was afraid of David g the giant in battle except for David who was confident enough to face Goliath in a 1v1 duel as the champion of the Israelite army. The confidence David acquired from defending his flock from wild beasts taught him what he needed so he could be strong for his people in the face of adversity. In preparation, David picked 5 of the smoothest stones from the bed of a mighty river. Only Stones that were battered and eroded to perfection in the current of the river would be suitable for the job of slaying a giant. Knowing himself, and his own capabilities, David put his faith in the lord, and he prevailed against the giant in combat by putting that smoothest and perfectly accurate stone dead center between the eyes of Goliath, and then when the giant was stunned and reeling, David wasted no time and he cut off Goliath's head off with his own sword. The Phillistines were defeated in this duel. David was so impossibly victorious that the Philistines disbanded their army knowing they could never defeat gods chosen people. The people celebrated David as a victorious hero, and David very faithfully gave all the glory to God. When King Saul's rule was over, David succeeded the royal line and became king of Israel. Heh, I didn't know I would overstay my lunch break to write this out, but it was worth it. Thanks again Mari Yume. You are so inspirational, and I will always appreciate you and your work.
I love the way you break down confidence into simple steps and storytelling something that's very personal to you. I agree that self-control is key!
Thank you for taking the time to leave this well thought out message under my video and I hope you enjoyed your lunch!! ^_^
MARI MARI MARI MARI! :D also try the advice Anon! Mari helped me push into being a vtuber as well so can you! YOU GOT THIS POPS FUGG EM UP BRO! >:D you too Mari. 👍
I LOVE YOUR ENERGY!!! YOU GOT THIS! :D
@@MariYumeCh Hah! tysm! :D Your awesome in your own right Mari!
Thanks Mari! Thanks for sharing with us this perspective on confidence.
-Another solid vid! @Mari! And I like your OC used in this one!
First-time viewer, but this was really nice and uplifting. Thanks for your advice!
Thank you for covering this topic. Makes sense
Quite a complex topic, but:
Searching for confidence can be seen as a learned avoidance strategy to avoid suffering from some negative emotions.
Did the job > got 2/10 (almost perfect) > got a negative reaction from people > are afraid to start because of lack of confidence (but in fact the problem is different).
Instead of a negative reaction from people, there can be negativity itself, where "someone like me won't succeed, it's difficult, I can't" or "I need to study a lot" or some other reason. Well, and the banal fear that someone will judge, which is supported not by your own personal experience, but by fantasies or other people's words.
Work is done not by confidence, but by labor.
Learn how to do things so that they speak for you, and not your attitude towards them.
Being unsure is normal. This is a natural state, the same as farting. But an overly strong reaction to farting or nervousness is not.
You shouldn't compare yourself to the gods. The sea depths are not explored by 99% yet, there is enough space for everyone. Sharks, whales, crabs and others.
Consumers of the gifts of the ocean only benefit from the increase in population.
Only your actions can change anything.
You can avoid negative feelings, or you can learn from them. The more you learn, the less influence and more control.
Don't think, just start doing. The more you think, the more interference there will be.
I DON'T WANT TO WORK .
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Tehehehehehe I'll go read manga. Is this really freedom?
The best way I've heard confidence being described is "surviving failure". This doesn't exactly mean trauma, but more about when times get hard (because you decided to engage in hard things) how were you able to make it out while still remaining assured of your self-worth?
I'll put it this way, when you have multiple successes what you get is imposter syndrome. Why? Because if you suck at something, it goes against all this evidence telling you who you are. But if you manage to survive and learn from failure? You gain competence and confidence.
Put shortly, confidence is about the full range of growth mindset: what's the right help? what can I learn?
I've a degree in philosophy, I've looked over many different conceptualizations of the 'self' over time but it's usually more of a tangential thing and not a huge focus of discussion (closest to it was probably in discussing philosophy of the mind, but even then, the 'self' only makes up a bit of that)... Like I know Rousseau for example has 3 conceptualizations of the 'self' in his one philosophical outlook (iirc it was the natural self, unnatural self, and perfect self or something like that)... But yeah, never really considered the idea of there being no self... Again, didn't really have a class that focused on the self as a concept directly... BUT after looking into it this sounds a bit like Aristotle's idea of the 'self' maybe in that the self really just exists through doing activities...
Thank you
No problem!! Glad you liked the video :)
Lots of this sounds awfully Familiar lol.
Mari does better job than psychiatrists with years of experience..
why can't you just be normal mari~
Smelly
Cute