How to Find COMMON Ground When Your Values Are NOT the Same In A Relationship | Tom & Lisa Bilyeu
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Were you ever warned about dating outside of your faith, outside of your political beliefs, and culture? Was it ever implied that “people like us…” you can finish the rest. Values matter and are not to be taken lightly when dating and looking for a long term relationship. What Tom and Lisa wrestle with in this episode is why values and beliefs are such a heavy topic to carefully consider when dating. There is a framework of values to be acknowledged and a mindset in which both partners need to carefully approach their differences, if they are to create a long-term marriage that is healthy enough to acknowledge the differences and cater to their common ground.
Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships. Whether you are fresh out of your last relationship, on a break, taking time to heal from a breakup, or looking for ways to strengthen the romance and bond in your current relationship, Tom and Lisa are sharing their 20 years of experience. They’re taking questions and giving relationship advice that will enhance all of your relationships.
SHOW NOTES:
Shared Value | Value systems matter, curiosity helps to establish common ground [0:46]
Respect | How honoring different values with respect for each other is necessary [6:10]
Common Values | How to find common values around one you don’t agree with [8:31]
Framework Values | The agreement of how you navigate where value collides [12:16]
Biological Timing | Why understanding that female hormones change and timing matters [14:39]
QUOTES:
“What we each demonstrated was a value of honesty, and a value of respecting that what is important to the other person in some way [...] needs to be important to me that it's important to you.” Tom Bilyeu [8:46]
“The fact that something that will sound trivial to the audience can be so meaningful and remain meaningful to us over a very long period of time shows how important really figuring out your framework values is” Tom Bilyeu [13:41]
“If you're trying to demean my position, whether you agree with it or not, it like them becomes a sticking point for me [...] about the fact that I feel undermined.” Lisa Bilyeu [14:21]
What are some ways you find common ground with your partner?
Respect what is important to the other person. House keeping is an important issue when people are different in how like to live.
Some people can’t feel peace in a messy house - some can. This is a big issue.
Unlike so many YT channels, I've really found your discussions make me think and I've really managed to gain some desperately needed introspection into why the last 26 years of my life have been significantly less rewarding than I wish they had been.
*Every family has a person who breaks the chain of poverty and exceeds every expectation possible...*
I hope you be that person my friend. 🖤
Sounds like the guy in this relationship is always compromising and the woman is just happy for that fact..
Betatisation through a thousand concessions.
Okay... But... What if he is opposed to religion because of other issues... Like colonization and forced religious values??
Maybe I'm just too different for relationships smh
Thanks for your relationship wisdom, as always!
We can’t find your common ground in the way we argue
Hmm.. this is fantastic perspective.
At some point in my previous relationship, we had an issue relating to that exclusion when somebody's values doesn't align with yours but you still acknowledge their importance. I somewhat intuitively knew this was necessary on some level and was trying to navigate that with that inclusion perspective. But I was the only one and it was on a religious matter..
My relationship ended today. I knew at some point it would. But I tried my best to serve it. I hurt a lot earlier today. Although it broke a few things in me, I don't regret it. And this video helped me see the value behind searching for a common ground even more. Lol I saved all these difficult conversations in a playlist. I sent her when we were together. She didn't watch them.. that's sad. But that's just what's. But God I love this content. And it's helping me grow a lot. Thank you, Tom and Lisa. 😁
You are right. Thank you for sharing, for real.
Deep
Respect respect respect
This only works when both parties - any relationship - parents - adult children - husband - wife - grand parents - want to negotiate or understand more. This is not just true for couples, and a family includes more than just the couple.
Always amazing and helpful 🙏🏻💖🌹
Excited for this episode!
Listening to your discussion of being christened, I'm surprised the priest was willing to do it given you didn't believe, especially as an adult.
Nice 👍🙂
I'm also the opposite with my favorite movies. Every time I watch the matrix or tenet I love it more!
I've found Your talks very helpful for Me! I am in a new relationship and We initially started off with similar values, but things have since shifted for Me on account of the societal and gendered realities around being a Woman in My country. I've communicated this with My partner as I believe it's a "framework" value that We previously didn't consider and now want to start considering. He is still standing in His position as He has held it for years and is not as open to change. He further says even if He were to change, He does not foresee this change occurring within the next 4 to 5 years on account certain personal agreements He has made with Himself on His life. In addition to this, there are other aspects Our relationship that have made Me feel coerced to do things for Him that I was not ready to do, I've confronted Him on the same, and He has apologized but I still feel moments of resentment. This resentment is now escalated with this framework thing that We might need to consider as it has an impact on Me as a woman at a societal and economic level but Him not being as eager to truly consider it is now making Me feel very triggered and resentful towards Him even towards tiny things that He does. Essentially, I'm seeing Him as Selfish and I can't seem to shake it... to be clear, this man communicates how much He cares for Me, He also makes it clear that He is committed to Our relationship and building a life with Me, however, He does not feel that the means through which I am now stating might Be best, as it protects Me, is not the only means through which it can be done...might You have advice or any talks that I can watch on this issue?
Thank you for this advice. I just recently parted ways with my partner of two years and understanding each other's values and thoughts are so important.
how's it been?
Thank you ☺️
21yrs no child?
In my culture, we would have started fasting and prayers for you guys.
How did the priest manage to wed you guys despite the guy not believing?
The western culture is really interesting, although i wouldn't take some aspects of their culture.
I love the idea of coming into each others life eith genuine curiosity.
I hope the family gets complete by the next time i stumble upon your video 😂
With a baby interrupting the show, wanting to give his ot her opinion 😂😂😂