Emotional First Aid | Guy Winch | Talks at Google
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2013
- Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries
Although we have bandages for cuts, chicken soup for colds, and ice packs for bruises, most of us have no idea how to treat day-to-day emotional injuries such as failure, rejection, and loss. But, as Guy Winch, Ph.D., points out, these kinds of emotional injuries often get worse when left untreated and can significantly impact our quality of life. In this fascinating and highly practical book he provides the emotional first aid treatments we have been lacking.
Explaining the long-term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr. Winch offers concrete, easy-to-use exercises backed up by hard cutting-edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humor as well.
When you feel unworthy - Self Affirmation
1. Make a list of 5 quality attributes about you (e.g. romantic, loyalty...)
2. Write a brief essay about the attributes
- Why is it important?
- Why you value it?
- Why other people value it?
- How you express it in the past?
- How it impacted people?
- How you might express it in the future
32:56
Guy Winch needs to have a youtube channel where he talks about all of the points separately at a slower pace. He had a time limit at this event, but the content should not have a time limit!
I'm commenting a bit late, but he has a book by the same name.
Hello there! He has a truly wonderful podcast called " Dear Therapists" together with Lori Gottlieb. Give it a listen. It Is incredible. Especially the episode " Molly's Father's Suicide".
I agree 100%
I think the world would be a better place if everybody watched this video.
Yes, but it is difficult to watch it in Afghanistan.
and read the book.
Guy is wonderful isn't he?! In one full swoop he can solve your feelings and sort ur head out in an instant. Mind over matter is what he is demonstrating here.. and he is a genius. His teachings should go viral and I wish him much success.
J Jezzer Like he says: Emotional first aid should be common knowledge, because all of what he says is standard knowledge for clinical psychologists and psychotherapists. Really not that genius, but people know too little about it.
Though he is definitely a fantastic communicator of those facts, so not to take anything away from him.
Practicing good emotional hygiene is something we must practice. That means building good habits which takes time.
J Jezzer ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
The first ted talk i saw... I cried because he put his finger right into why I am constantly anxious and terrified at my new job and in my life in general. I have never heard of mental hygiene being expressed the way he has and I work in medical field. I'm so glad I found his lectures. I have a lot of work to do... But he makes me feel better that I can get better and not feel sick from my anxiety
watch the ted talk about the same topic, that one is just as good as this. I literally cried throughout the second half of it.ruclips.net/video/F2hc2FLOdhI/видео.html. This one talked about more about the techniques. Very useful and practical.
that is the best TED talk ever. I`ve watched it like 10 times
Emotional first aid: one of most important skills in life. I love how he simplifies the psychological concept and makes it easy to understand. Very good speech
FYI: The book is being translated into Portuguese by Sextante/GMT Publishing and should be out sometime in 2014.
This is the best thing I've learned since... maybe ever.
found this video in 2018 after watching his talk at TED. Very useful advice and he made me realise how hurtful, messed up I am actually, psychologically. Time to heal a bit :)
Thank you so much for this talk. This has to be the most straightforward discussion of mental health and accessible tools anyone can use, I've ever heard in a concise and understandable manner. I don't say this lightly, but Mr. Winch may have very well saved a lot of people from ongoing emotional pain. While he cannot make people try these techniques, I greatly appreciate he discussed the research findings of what does and doesn't work to manage emotional health. Thank you.
Brilliant! I'm a nurse and I will use this in my personal life and try and share this information on the perception of mental health as kind of a muscle or attribute to be exercised, strengthened and cared for on a daily basis.
guilt - makes people stop enjoying life, withdraw and avoid reminders (people) of guilt. It hampers relationships.
Loneliness can be as dangerous as cigarette smoking. we unsuccessfully combat it with alcohol abuse as well as emotional eating. - Successfully->Revive your self worth-> positive affirmations don't work, do self affirmations of your best qualities .
- Write an essay and elaborate why is it important, why you value it, why other people value it, how have you used it in the past, how have you impacted people, how will you use it in the future.
- Other technique (writing - because it is the best way to absorb things) - when feeling low self esteem, very critical, write out if you have a dear friend who is feeling that way, how would you encourage him/her?
".... take two whole packs of loneliness...."
this cheered me up
5min in and I love this guy ! Actually forgot I was sad for a while. I need him as my alarm clock. I'd wake up laughing and learning about teeth and all sorts.
I needed this ten years ago but im so glad there's a Gus Winch in the world! Amazing truth!
This was so good. So many things that we somewhat already know but presented in such a clear, lucid, structured way. And so scientific and logical all along. Loved your style Dr Winch!
Just awesome !! Thank you for this video
This was timely for me and very informative. Much appreciated and will be sharing.
Cheered me up immensely. Thank you.
What an amazing presentation! Thank you so much Guy
Now this is a great speaker!
Loved this presentation. Really insightful about what and how the mind deals with the emotions of rejection etc.
I’ve just come across this wonderful talk by Guy winch has given practical exercises and clarified some aspects that are not necessarily as great as I originally thought . So thankful
Thanks for the tools, Dr. Winch. Very useful.
I love this man.
thank you for a wonderful talk!
I really enjoy listening to him !!!!!
This is brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing
this saved my life. thank you.
This should have 12 billion views, every person should watch this and it should be taught in schools. Also we should have emotional first aid clinics just like we have Xpress Wellness or Urgent Med. A place to go that is somewhere between a psychiatrist and a mental hospital. Not everyone has friends to talk to and for those that do, they may not have the skills needed to help build u back up and a minor mental injury.
Wow time well spent ... so blessed
On an energy level, there's one other thing I have found extremely helpful: We may think about someone too much because we are psychically corded to them. My shamanic teachers told me we are corded to anyone with whom we have ever exchanged emotion - everyone we've even received emotion from. Any emotion. These cords are sticky and some literally plug into us. They automatically establish and remain until cleared. They also get thicker and thicker the more emotion and thought gets exchanged. Anyone we have had sex with or had an argument with is hooked into our system, and we are affecting one another until that is deliberately ended. These can even be used as parasitic cords for feeding upon our psychic energy and life force if the person is not so warm at heart. In shamanic terms, these negative cords need to be cut and the energies returned to where they belong. Otherwise, feelings and thoughts flow back and forth between the two people, who will mistake the thoughts and feelings for their own. Try this, if interested:
Stand in your divine power and proclaim, "In the name of the Light, as the Sovereign Being that I am, I now cut all cords that are not for my highest good or the highest good of all. I request the assistance of Archangel Michael in this matter. Please heal all attachment points, fill with Creator Light, and seal against further intrusion. I now return to their originator all energies which are not mine, cleansed, cleared, purified, and blessed, to be absorbed with grace and ease whenever possible. I now call back my own energies, cleansed, cleared, purified, and blessed, to integrate with grace and ease." Drink a lot of water and get extra rest if needed the next few days, as your energy bodies will be reweaving themselves and integrating the old energy you've retrieved.
Don't be surprised if people you knew back in elementary school start looking you up on Facebook; they won't know why, but it's because they will miss their psychic energy check in the mail. On a subconscious level, their body knows whom it was coming from. Immediate family members who have been feeding on your energy or been enmeshed with your system in unhealthy ways may also get in touch. Don't let folks hook back in, it doesn't benefit them or you, no matter what they think. They signed up for their life before being born, and if you row their boat for them, they will just have to incarnate again to get the growth they came for, with the same challenges they now face. You can care about people, but don't carry them. Keep your energy clean, and don't allow negative cording.
In Quechua language, spoken in much of South America, these cords are called sekes (SEK - a's). Some people can see them, but most of us aren't that clairvoyant yet. Cutting sekes does not damage the "oneness of all" which is a spiritual reality when seen from a much higher dimension. On our level of reality, we're like separate organs in the body; the liver should not intrude into the heart or the lungs or anything else. We function best and help the whole best by keeping our self separate and sovereign. While holding unconditional compassion and acceptance, but making that for ourselves as well as others. If you don't keep yourself happy and healthy, the whole suffers. It is the responsibility of each person to row their own boat - and to not be parasitic upon other people.
Falcon Rising Excellent!!!
Thank you!!!
Thank you
Fascinating and helpful. Thank you.
As a side note, I appreciated the Quechua mention. I go to Ecuador yearly and there are many Quechua words used in daily vernacular.
Thank you, I love this talk.
I loved his Ted talk. find his pacing is quite restless in this talk. The info on rejection and self esteem is fascinating. His comment on catharsis - punching the cushion, is not always the case, in my observations.
Very useful and interesting!
This is...you wonder why this stuff isn't taught. With most of the horrific tragedies in America over the past couple of year being carried out by young, damaged souls, you wonder why only psychology students or people with enough money to seek out therapy learn these techniques (and some don't because they have people with sub-par knowledge helping). With 20 years of the internet, we've learned how to cut each-other down, but we're only just beginning to learn how help others help themselves.
Bless you Guy Finch
This is phenomenal.
I truly believe this video has changed my life
Ehat a blessing Guy is!
Helpful, interesting, funny, and life changing.
thank you, I enjoyed this video
Guy , you're a rock star
Very, very helpful. I bought the probably life transforming book
Impressive Speaker!
Excellent! I love this. I will probably listen to it again.
My entire life I always thought I just had emotions, turns out I was actually "psychologically injured" this whole time.
Oooooo...
So many insights 😯.
I really enjoyed this.
You saved me. Thank You.
so that's why I get so nervous when I leave my house and go out in the world : it's a protection mechanism to avoid pain ( of rejection) . For a long time I got irrritated at myself for being anxious about leaving my house everyday
I always have been the maladptive self-reflection my whole teenagehood (?) and until now, I also think I have a little depression... but im trying to spot and change my thoughts so I dont fall in emotional breakdowns as usuals..
Biggest takeaways:
-Positive affirmations don't work. When a statement falls within the boundaries of our belief system, we accept it- but when it falls outside of our belief system, your unconscious mind will reject it. But self affirmations do work - make a list of at least 5 qualities that you truly believe are valuable. Then write an elaborate paragraph of one or two of the qualities and why are they important.
-When your self esteem is higher, it boosts your grit. Low self esteem is a weak emotional immune system. Write what you say to try to sooth a friend.
-Benefits of emotional first aid if you do them regularly: strengthen cognitive abilities, minimize risks of infection, increase emotional resilience.
is there a full transcript of these video? gonna have a test this monday and reading can help me understand better. Someone help please.
thank you
I really feel this
Damn he got me, I was really on my way to get some Tylenol 😅
Amazing :)
I love you. Thank you
Thank you to the commentators who made summaries !!
Can someone tell me where I can get his book ? Or what is it called
Hellow google can we have access to the ppt files he is using.
Those two suggestions at the end, probably good ideas. But they and the talk as a whole leaves me with a lot of questions, and (*looks at the other comments*) not a lot of people I'd trust to answer them for me.
The title resonate with most people concern , was expecting some actionable steps to answer all of the mental injury, sadly he didnt explore enough to it
Awesome video, minus the mic poping.
Emotional First Aid by Sean Haldane is a useful book. This is another book bearing the same title.
Nghe giọng quyến rũ đíu chiệu được
This has to be taught in middle school.
I can't get the sound, no matter what I do???
I just realized the now iconic Nexus default wallpaper is based on the Google Stage curtains/lights. Or it is a coincidence, an interesting one at that.
Can anyone reference the football study?
The thing is where do we go from adopting his emotional affirmation? Where do we go from there? We could still be rejected and excluded after we've practiced those methods. Reality is reality and it doesn't change anything. Is it when we feel stronger we don't care it happens again?
You can’t control others rejecting you. Rejections will still happen. What he is trying to say is that we will build stronger immune system (resiliency) by having higher level of confidence. We will be able to bounce back quicker. Higher resiliency does not mean you “don’t care.” Regardless, it’s going to hurt. It’s how we handle the wound so that it heals quicker. It’s like if a knife cuts your skin, you will bleed. You can’t be invincible, but if you have a healthier system, you will heal quicker instead getting a nasty infection.
Make a list of 5 qualities that you beleive within yourself.
Eg. If it was a romantic rejection:
1. I'm a good listener
2. I'm loving & care about people
3. People need me
4. I don't take myself too seriously
Oh boy oh boy oh boy......rumination. I love "This is not my thrilled face."
Yep isolation, grief and vaping-- helluva drug. I'm not sure if I even want to live past 60 at this rate and I love this world in some ways but damn even 55 years as a hell of a long time
Fantastic stuff - but thank the gods old and new for the 2x Speed function 😩
Amazing there were so few questions, but maybe too many of the tech people are straight males who are uncomfortable or very hesitant and won't talk about emotions.
Of course this effects people the same way....we all have a "pot of emotional" strength..."if you will".
Even if we know this...after a bunch of failure....one just "can't move forward...and one waits for "anything but further failure".
20:00 guilt is poison
i need help
20:10 rejection
24:15 Tylenol soothes rejection. Wow
I am a disabled British Army Veteran who has founded a not for profit community organisation called Gloucester Community Networking. One of our projects is FA4A - First Aid 4All.
FA4A has 2 aims:
1) To become General First Aid Trainer - To give first aid to children and adults with and without learning and physical disabilities.
2) To become a Mental Health First Aid Trainer - To promote good First Aid for our Educational and Mind.
This is with hope to reduce the condition leading on to more serious Brain / Mind illnesses./ Self Harm / Suicide
21:30 rejection experiment
Cinderella's stepsisters..haha
My girlfriend broke up with me now with the coronovirus disease. Felt unfair and couldn't do much due to the lack of meeting her in person . This video helped a lot today i decided to help myself. As much as i wanted this disease to end and meet her in person to talk to her,now i m thinking that it doesnt help i will have to heartbeat for a month or 2, which would be a huge mess for my already broken heart :( She doesn't respect that, she doesn't deserve to be with me! We gotta use our selfish genes, guide us every now and then in order to stay strong !
awsome
26:45 loneliness, isolation. worse than smoking
There is an ironic response within human perception, and we often try to
use "reverse psychology" on ourselves in order to counteract, or
"cancel" negative perceptions. This is a viscous cycle. What you need
to feel, is love, and acceptance for yourself. So, do just that.
Tell yourself, "Self, I love you!" Keep doing this, it is quite
necessary. You NEED to love yourself as if you were an actual person,
with the caveat being that "you get to be you". So, as silly as
it may sound, you need to discuss things with yourself to figure out
what it is that you need to do to feel well.
If humans listened to their instincts more, the world would indeed be
very different. However, many people ignore many if their own instincts.
How else could a grown man or woman go their whole lives smoking
cigarettes when they know full well that the habit is very unhealthy,
and expensive.
Self Love requires Self Communication !
There is much more to this. There is a "kernel language" that the human nervous system operates on. This language moves faster than words, and speaking, requiring much subtlety of thought in order to perceive, and I postulate that this language is utilized chiefly while dreaming, though there could be other uses. I believe that this KL is only one of the subtle forms of encoding information within the human nervous system, and that it occurs when you can "talk to yourself" without using a lot of higher level words. Within dreaming what we observe is a marked reduction in questioning and analysis. The decisions that we make seem to be much more effortless. This is one of the main reasons I have postulated the existence of this Kernel Language. Similarities between individuals may exist, but I do not believe that proof as such is within our present technology.
Yes, in listing these good things about oneself, one is encoding much good perception at the Kernel level within the perceptual framework. Yes, to think about it and process it !!
Imagine that you were trying to encourage your own niece, or nephew, specifically, someone that you love. What would you say to someone that you actually love?? That is what you need to be saying to yourself !!
You can learn to have these "quiet pep talks" with yourself, and in fact you already do to some extent. As josh kress says below "".... take two whole packs of loneliness...." this cheered me up", but there's a trick, you absolutely need to be nice to yourself. This is how we learn to parent ourselves.
Instincts aren't always good. In a heated moment, your instinct might be to tell your boss to f%$& off! Sometimes overriding instincts is good. Being authentic a lot of the time can be great, but if we've suppressed lots of anger, it can come bubbling up all at once, if we tap into our full authenticity in one foul swoop! I agree with self-compassion though. There are no easy solutions to emotions. Some people are naturally calm in their nature... it can often be these people who advise the naturally fiery people how to be calm! It's a bit ridiculous. This emotions game is complex.
6.25 very interesting experiment. Football experiment
16:45 guilt
8:15 people take test study. Had got passable test. Others impassible. Alarming number of those who failed impossible test failed at passable test. When you believe you can’t pass, it affects your ability to pass
Unfortunately he gives first aid only for rejection and not for the rest. So the information is that you been first emotional aid and that is all.
No guy stood up to ask question on this topic, Emotional First Aid. Lol.
you should consider comedy coz you sure do have a great sense of humour.
What happens if you are lonely in a relationship?
Please can you translate this talk to spanish? Make the subtitles please
@jisom91 You may like his other presentation on TedTalk. You can choose subtitles. www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene#t-17005
他的视频极大帮助了我。在Ted上面的演讲对于一个处于神经衰弱，敏感的人来说，是不可或缺的。
加油
31:20 affirmations don’t work. If you don’t believe it
TYLENOL REDUCES EMOTIONAL REJECTION!! WRITE IT OUT IS THE BEST WAY TO ABSORB. strong response to rejection: 1)aggression, 2)numb out-drink or eat to stuff out our emotions. REVIVE SELF WORTH, BC YOUR SELF ESTEEM TOOK A BLOW. 1.... + affirmations. (says doesn't work.) 2.... self affirmations. list 5 qualities of attributes. elaborate why in detail. you have to write it out to absorb it. 3....adopt self compassion. allows self kindness to allow self to feel better. emotional self esteem is low, it lowers our immune system.
4....when you feel bad, write out cheering, encouraging thoughts that you would tell a friend. our self esteem flucuates.