That part about standing up calmly and murdering 30 people, then saying "someday ill have my vengeance" was the funniest shit I've heard in quite awhile lol
I just want Taylor to go through the whole bible, i know all these stories because i was raised religously but i just love the way he tells them. Samson is my favorite prophet too he taught me a lesson, never simp and you'll be strong
Have you ever actually gone through the whole Bible? I have never understood how people can claim to be part of that cult, have read the scripture but then don’t seem to realize that they don’t come close to actually practicing the religion. How do “religious” people claim to be Christians when they don’t follow any of the laws or commandments, don’t do the majority of what Jesus instructs in the gospels, and have actually made their practice what the Bible describes as what hypocrites do. I’m pretty sure it’s Jesus who says anyone who goes to church and prays in public are hypocrites who will receive no reward, and yet that’s pretty much all modern “Christians” do without sensing the slightest bit of irony. Is it just that nobody ever bothers thinking about what they do and just do what they’re told by the pulpit?
@@justinmartin4662 people just come up with their own interpretation to justify their beliefs. There's of course more into that (indoctrination from childhood, emotional priming, etc), but to address specifically what you mentioned, people at the church I went to, for example, would say that Jesus wasn't against praying in public per se, but against doing so with the intent of being seen by others as pious/devout. To be fair, that's one of the more mild cases, and you can see how that isn't a too far-fetched of an interpretation considering the context and how Jesus criticized the Pharisees and the religious leaders of the time. As for the old testament laws, Paul talks in length about how the New Covenant superceded the Old Covenant. Whether that makes any sense or not, that's another story. But yeah, people will interpret scripture as literally or as figuratively as they see fit to justify even the most outlandish of beliefs, and will go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to achieve that. And to be frank, most people don't read the bible anyway, so they don't have to deal with these issues. By the way, I'm not defending them, though I think it's very clear from what I've written. You said you didn't understand how people claim to be part of that cult, so I wanted to share a bit of my perspective as someone who grew up in a small, very cult-like church, and believed the bible, which I read in its entirety at least 5 times, was a literal truth.
When I was in prison I used to do hood Bible sermons and read the old testament but translated to ghetto parables. "You see when you go to war with the opps, and you lay those niggas down and you see a fine bitch who belonged to the opps and you want to make her yo bitch so you chop that hoes hair off and rip her fingernails out and you keep her captive and rape her for a month. If the pussy is fire then you may wife that bitch but if that bitch blown out you must release her. For by God's decree thy may break a bitch but thou shalt not pimp a bitch and make sheckles off the pussy. That's gods word from deuteronomy
I'd watch Taylors Bibles Stories as a regular show or like a comedy special on Netflix lmfao. Just out two of these back to back and you have an hour special and I'll be rolling the hole time
I’ve already seen it but Samson is my favorite bible story Just cause he’s a badass and the had to change the quote. “Ashes to ashes dust to dust with a jawbone of an ass I’ve made asses of them for ye I have killed a thousand men”. Now it’s something else and used at funerals That and All of pka are good storytellers in different senses
Ashes to ashes isn't actually a bible verse, most people think it is though. What you said DEFINITELY isn't a bible verse, the closest thing is "you are dust and to the dust you shall return" in Genesis and "With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men" in judges. You kind of just combined 2 verses and misquoted them and pretended that they are a verse that someone changed, which is certainly not true.
@@brendon2255 lmao, replying "nobody asked" to the correction of false information is least logically sound argument there is. If you think it's fake, that's cool, but the other 2.4 billion Christians and I have differing views than you.
I started reading the Bible because of this story pretty much. It's actually really interesting. Obviously, it is to be taken with a grain of salt, as it is literally one of the oldest books that people still read today without many significant changes to it.
Look up Jordan Peterson Bible hyperlinked book. You’ll understand that maybe it isn’t something that should just be taken with a grain of salt simply because there’s no physical proof of god or angels.
The opposite actually. As time goes on ancient teachings about the nature of our world will become more clear. Our Ancestors knew more than the fake tv scientists and all of NASA put together.
Taylor: “Samson made a riddle that only he could know the answer for. It’s not fair” Woody: “It’s like playing Peak-a-boo and covering your own eyes” It’s literally nothing like that woody tf? 😂😂
I would probably pay for a 'Taylor tells the bible' series. I'd probably even pay for a 'Jordan Peterson reacts to Taylor telling the bible' series. Oh wait, there's already 2 and a half hours of this shit on my recommended. Nevermind, I'll keep the money.
Well, to be fair, 300 flaming coyotes tethered together would probably cause much more damage to the crops and wildlife rather than just a bunch of stationary fire spears.
But the story themselves are hilarious and outrageous and that’s the point of PKA poking at it. Even taken as an allegory, when you think about it the entire ordeal; really it was started because of a riddle that a tribe cheated on 🤷♂️
@Egg when have you ever seen an Israeli with braided hair? C'mon be real bruh modern Israeli's don't even fit the curses that God placed upon them only people of the diaspora do(real Israelites). But back to Samson he had 7 braids that he told Delilah to twist together when he was tricking her like I said who on earth still rocks braids and dreads til this day?
@Egg yes we can, if you know anything about God or the Bible in general you know God had a covenant with his people the Israelites yes or no? With that being said he has kept his people through many ups and downs throughout time. Why would he change what his people look like? And if you can't say what somebody back then looked like you can't say it's impossible for him to have been black.
Taylor's Bible Stories Compilation ►► ruclips.net/video/oqVsGlR8caA/видео.html
Love how passionate Taylor is when telling this story. We need more bible stories from Taylor.
There's hours of clips and they all come with this energy
We totally do! Kyle's face is funny throughout it lol.
@@IAMYETTI25 . You have been so ooo
We need more taylor
Taylor’s bible stories are so fucking funny to me. 😭 funniest guy on this show lol
That part about standing up calmly and murdering 30 people, then saying "someday ill have my vengeance" was the funniest shit I've heard in quite awhile lol
@@HolyBowly hell yeah lol I genuinely laughed out loud
By a long shot
Murka makes the show
“One day I’ll have my vengeance” -Samson
…after viciously murdering a dozen people.
@@NICK41206 30*
“Have you ever tried to catch 1 fox” 😂😂
I just want Taylor to go through the whole bible, i know all these stories because i was raised religously but i just love the way he tells them.
Samson is my favorite prophet too he taught me a lesson, never simp and you'll be strong
Also God will bless you to kill your enemies
@@hozerberto4886 with the jawbone of an ass, and ruin their crops by tying jackals tails together
Have you ever actually gone through the whole Bible? I have never understood how people can claim to be part of that cult, have read the scripture but then don’t seem to realize that they don’t come close to actually practicing the religion.
How do “religious” people claim to be Christians when they don’t follow any of the laws or commandments, don’t do the majority of what Jesus instructs in the gospels, and have actually made their practice what the Bible describes as what hypocrites do.
I’m pretty sure it’s Jesus who says anyone who goes to church and prays in public are hypocrites who will receive no reward, and yet that’s pretty much all modern “Christians” do without sensing the slightest bit of irony.
Is it just that nobody ever bothers thinking about what they do and just do what they’re told by the pulpit?
@@justinmartin4662 people just come up with their own interpretation to justify their beliefs. There's of course more into that (indoctrination from childhood, emotional priming, etc), but to address specifically what you mentioned, people at the church I went to, for example, would say that Jesus wasn't against praying in public per se, but against doing so with the intent of being seen by others as pious/devout. To be fair, that's one of the more mild cases, and you can see how that isn't a too far-fetched of an interpretation considering the context and how Jesus criticized the Pharisees and the religious leaders of the time. As for the old testament laws, Paul talks in length about how the New Covenant superceded the Old Covenant. Whether that makes any sense or not, that's another story.
But yeah, people will interpret scripture as literally or as figuratively as they see fit to justify even the most outlandish of beliefs, and will go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to achieve that. And to be frank, most people don't read the bible anyway, so they don't have to deal with these issues.
By the way, I'm not defending them, though I think it's very clear from what I've written. You said you didn't understand how people claim to be part of that cult, so I wanted to share a bit of my perspective as someone who grew up in a small, very cult-like church, and believed the bible, which I read in its entirety at least 5 times, was a literal truth.
@@justinmartin4662key words “never understood” so stop judging people you don’t understand, it’s asshole behavior
its when samson kills 1000 people and taylor was breathing like a psycho I officially lost my shit
All jokes aside. I grew up christian and these stories make a lot more sense now that I've heard taylor narrate them.
Agreed. I’ve learned and remember more hearing Taylor talk about Sampson vs pastors.
We need more bible stories
More Taylor Bible stories.
“Rachel? She looks like a sun dial with that shnoz” 😂😂
Bible standup is my favorite new genre.
When I was in prison I used to do hood Bible sermons and read the old testament but translated to ghetto parables.
"You see when you go to war with the opps, and you lay those niggas down and you see a fine bitch who belonged to the opps and you want to make her yo bitch so you chop that hoes hair off and rip her fingernails out and you keep her captive and rape her for a month. If the pussy is fire then you may wife that bitch but if that bitch blown out you must release her. For by God's decree thy may break a bitch but thou shalt not pimp a bitch and make sheckles off the pussy.
That's gods word from deuteronomy
man I still come back to these. This is what Taylor needs to do for an idea when streaming. He would make bank and get a huge fanbase.
Taylor has a natural gift for this And the craziest part is he probably hears that so much he doesn’t even take it seriously when someone says it.
18:35 love the joke from Woody here that noone of them seems to have caught
I had to listen to this 3 times to get it, that’s an S+ tier joke imo
Woody does have some gems occasionally. Quite literally a needle in a haystack event though
Ok what did I miss b/c Woody didn't say shi
*she was a fox*
"Oh, he can catch her"
@18:40 ish
Too bad no one else could catch this joke.
Rare Woody W
Lmao,this is literally the best Taylor story.
OMG the story of Samson was always my favorite
My favourite version of the Samson pillar thing was Don Rosa's young Scrooge McDuck, where he's tied to the smoke stacks of a riverboat.
I'd watch Taylors Bibles Stories as a regular show or like a comedy special on Netflix lmfao. Just out two of these back to back and you have an hour special and I'll be rolling the hole time
I cannot believe woody kept his mouth shut
honestly these segments made Taylor my favorite
I’ve already seen it but Samson is my favorite bible story Just cause he’s a badass and the had to change the quote. “Ashes to ashes dust to dust with a jawbone of an ass I’ve made asses of them for ye I have killed a thousand men”. Now it’s something else and used at funerals That and All of pka are good storytellers in different senses
Ashes to ashes isn't actually a bible verse, most people think it is though. What you said DEFINITELY isn't a bible verse, the closest thing is "you are dust and to the dust you shall return" in Genesis and "With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men" in judges. You kind of just combined 2 verses and misquoted them and pretended that they are a verse that someone changed, which is certainly not true.
Larry nobody asked. Doesnt matter its all fake anyways
@@brendon2255 lmao, replying "nobody asked" to the correction of false information is least logically sound argument there is. If you think it's fake, that's cool, but the other 2.4 billion Christians and I have differing views than you.
Larry Dont care, didnt ask
@@brendon2255 Yet you seem to be the only one replying to me. Way to show me how little you care lmao
Love it! Perfect standup bit
Ive watched this 5 times its still good🤣
Tucker brought tears to my eyes
I was just listening and I was gonna say “msn Taylor totally ignored kyles ad xD
"Like playing peekaboo, but covering your own eyes."
Damn woody, I've been playing peekaboo wrong all my life.
Bro love all of your content I think you guys are hilarious and make my day
Boy I hope Samson one day gets his vengeance.
Please make this a weekly segment
Dude, Taylor is a madman lol I'm dead af
he needs a channel where all he does is describe Bible stories like this, I'd subscribe instantly.
Not as terrified as the local fox population
Samson is a fucking ecoterrorist bro literally ethered the entire fox population, the rabbit population was probably out-fucking-rageous
I love bible stories with Taylor
Even as a Catholic, I like hearing these guys talk about Bible stories, even though Taylor’s not religious (to my knowledge)
Well, he was obviously raised in a religious home. He may no longer be actively practicing, but I'm willing to bet he's still spiritual.
@@evergreenrider I think since he got married he started going back to Christianity. At least that’s what I heard.
@@wacopaco2099 I'm thinking it's more the craziness of the past couple years that drove him back to it. Just my opinion from watching the boys
@@evergreenrider very possible, shit it kinda happened to me too lol
@@wacopaco2099 happened to alot of us brother.
So fucking metal
I started reading the Bible because of this story pretty much. It's actually really interesting. Obviously, it is to be taken with a grain of salt, as it is literally one of the oldest books that people still read today without many significant changes to it.
"Significant" lol
Look up Jordan Peterson Bible hyperlinked book. You’ll understand that maybe it isn’t something that should just be taken with a grain of salt simply because there’s no physical proof of god or angels.
The opposite actually. As time goes on ancient teachings about the nature of our world will become more clear. Our Ancestors knew more than the fake tv scientists and all of NASA put together.
@@mikewazowskisas1489 thats why they lived in mud huts and died at the age of 30? Yeah sure bud.
@@dud5606 they lived about as long as we do today, average lifespan was only 30 because so many died out of childbirth
For some reason i've imagined Taylor as Samsom, all hairy and greasy, eating honey out of his hands in his way to his own wedding.
I want Taylor to narrate ALL of the Bible stories 😂😂😂
An animation series of those would be fantastic
This might be the greatest moment in PKA history
This is best video on youtube.
I nearly had a stroke watching this. Hilarious
This is pure gold
I laughed till I cried
I love these, based and redpilled.
Love bible stories
Taylor is incredible
Taylor is a decent story teller, I'll give him that.
Samson is my favorite story of the old book
Taylor needs to do his Bible stories as a stand up act
I have a big fat ball python named samson. We call him the judge bc he decides the fate of the rats
Ever since I first watched this clip I started growing my hair and went back to the gym
i watch this weekly
He calmly gets up and he murders 30 people
i'm a christian now
This is like when Matt damon whooped that dudes ass with a magazine
Id be like "If you blow me 100,000 times, ill be helpless."
This is the third video that isn’t an ad on youtube when you look up the story of Samson
Taylor telling stories about the Bible or whatever would be the only way to get me to listen lol
God works in based ways
I can't believe this only has 70k views, I think I'm responsible for a least 100 of them
This just proves that Taylor would make a S tier pastor if he wanted to be.
Papa Taylor's Bible adventures
Bro Tucker is high asf just MUNCHIN on those snacks
i was dead at the foxes
When i was a kid we had a male cat named sam and a female cat named Delilah
11:36
Taylor should tell the story of the kids getting mauled by bears for picking on an old guy
Taylor: “Samson made a riddle that only he could know the answer for. It’s not fair”
Woody:
“It’s like playing Peak-a-boo and covering your own eyes”
It’s literally nothing like that woody tf? 😂😂
Ezekiel 23:20
SOUNDS LIKE B.C. PEACE MAKER 💀😭😭
The one thing they fear is him
So as a bonus for all you 40k fans out there.......it was a temple of Nurgle that he brought down at the end.
I would probably pay for a 'Taylor tells the bible' series.
I'd probably even pay for a 'Jordan Peterson reacts to Taylor telling the bible' series.
Oh wait, there's already 2 and a half hours of this shit on my recommended. Nevermind, I'll keep the money.
Wouldn’t Samson also be the only uncircumcised Jew since no razor was allowed to touch him?
If this was what church was like I would go
Samson can't cut his hair, but it was kosher for a Rabbi to perform a circumcision with his teeth...
Oy vey!
nibble on your diddle
How the fuck is Samson's kill death ratio not on his wiki... absolutely no total kill count either..
Any math nerds wanna count for me?
Reupload?
Well, to be fair, 300 flaming coyotes tethered together would probably cause much more damage to the crops and wildlife rather than just a bunch of stationary fire spears.
Does the angel have an app?
did kyle just like pass out or was he praying?
this reignited my belief in christianity by 50%
But what`s the lesson?
dont simp for women, and faith gives u strength
and kill as many foxes and non-believers as you'd like
Not a classic re-telling... However, I think the Lord Jesus would be pleased.
I went to a Lutheran School, and when we were told stories in the Bible there was always an animated bible episode of it😂
The lesson god did not care for the philistines
Samson was the first suicide bomber
He’s a bit like Enkidu isn’t he.
Google Samson option
Woody say hi to me
This is Conan by the sound of it.
Lol
Was Samson the worst of the judges or the best of them?
ruclips.net/video/LgzGo5OsSWE/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/uQUMvykzgZg/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/gpMTPRyb5sw/видео.html Here is the animated version.
man Samson sounds almost as powerful as Kim Il-sung
All these stories seem made up
ya don't say
More Bible stories! just needs slightly less cursing.
No, more.
These are all allegories, though.
But the story themselves are hilarious and outrageous and that’s the point of PKA poking at it. Even taken as an allegory, when you think about it the entire ordeal; really it was started because of a riddle that a tribe cheated on 🤷♂️
Philistines are not Palestines
I'm convinced God is evil
Samson was a black man 💪🏿 Good story too
@Egg if that's what you wanna call me cool but nah it's just facts honestly, I'm not even apart of their group or anything btw
@Egg when have you ever seen an Israeli with braided hair? C'mon be real bruh modern Israeli's don't even fit the curses that God placed upon them only people of the diaspora do(real Israelites). But back to Samson he had 7 braids that he told Delilah to twist together when he was tricking her like I said who on earth still rocks braids and dreads til this day?
@Egg yes we can, if you know anything about God or the Bible in general you know God had a covenant with his people the Israelites yes or no? With that being said he has kept his people through many ups and downs throughout time. Why would he change what his people look like? And if you can't say what somebody back then looked like you can't say it's impossible for him to have been black.
First comment fuckbois
Wow your cool
DUDE no way you got the first comment