Get the Respect in Your Relationships You Deserve With This One Tip - Terri Cole

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  • Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
  • Are there people in your life who don’t respect your boundaries?
    People you can’t talk true around, who use your words against you later?
    People who don’t support what is best for you?
    People who take and take, leaving you drained?
    If you are nodding your head, you might need more discernment when it comes to who has access to you, and how much.
    In this episode, I am covering what discernment is, why being discerning with the people in our life is important, how to practice discernment, and how discernment can improve the quality of your life and your relationships.
    Grab the guide for this episode here: www.terricole.com/get-the-res...
    Time Stamps
    0:00 - Introduction
    2:05 - What is discernment?
    3:35 - Differentiating preferences, limits, deal-breakers
    5:40 - Example of a deal-breaker
    7:40 - Judgment vs discernment
    9:29 - Discerning what is healthy/unhealthy
    11:34 - Discernment about how much we share
    15:07 - 5 tips to become more discerning
    If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
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    • The Power of Voluntary... - The Power of Voluntary Vulnerability
    • Curb Codependent Antic... - Curb Codependent Anticipation
    • Know Your Non-Negotiab... - Know Your Non-Negotiable Deal-Breakers
    • 8 Simple Mental Wellne... - 8 Simple Mental Wellness Strategies for Everyday Life
    About Terri Cole
    Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
    For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
    She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole.com/
    Connect With Me
    Instagram: terricole.com/ig
    Community: terricole.com/fbg
    TC's VIPs: terricole.com/membership
    Newsletter: terricole.com/newsletter
    Resources
    Boundary Boss Book: amzn.to/44DZID9
    The Boundary Boss Workbook: amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
    Insight Timer: insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
    BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/terricole
    I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
    www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
    Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust.
    #terricoleshow #discernment #boundariesarehealthy

Комментарии • 70

  • @terri_cole
    @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад +7

    Let me know: do you need to be more discerning in any areas of your life? How might doing so uplevel your relationships? Or your relationship to yourself? I want to know your thoughts! Don't forget to download the guide here: www.terricole.com/get-the-respect-you-deserve-in-your-relationships-guide

  • @anandanabila8439
    @anandanabila8439 7 месяцев назад +9

    I always set boundaries and stuck to them if someone doesn’t like it then bye bye 😊

  • @marywolfe6598
    @marywolfe6598 7 месяцев назад +20

    Intimacy - into me you see....we have to know who we are and our deal breakers and boundaries as you say before we can let anyone else "see" who we are. And...if we have been abused, gaslit, etc.we need to know who we are first because people will try to tell us who we are. Thank you very much for all your work.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you for sharing ❤️

  • @leslierisan7603
    @leslierisan7603 7 месяцев назад +4

    “I don’t really give a shit” about approval ❤

  • @melstuder232
    @melstuder232 7 месяцев назад +7

    I wish I had your book when I was a teenager...how different my life would have been..thank you Teri...I am truly grateful for you ❤️

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад +1

      ❤️❤️❤️

  • @user-qv7vi2ls6j
    @user-qv7vi2ls6j 7 месяцев назад +4

    Ive been through relationship with a man who is also a long time friend where I dated the narcissist for many years where Im trying to heal, I loved him way too much, cared too much. He was unwilling to compromise and work on himself and get needed therapy.
    Teri Cole, the information you are sharing on this channel is reaching me, so helpful and empowering.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад +2

      I'm so glad my content has been helpful ❤️

  • @GD-cr5um
    @GD-cr5um 7 месяцев назад +9

    Thanks Terri this means so much. For a chronic people pleaser with absolute no boundaries your guidance helps me so much. With boundaries i am noticing a lot of people i grew up with not happy with my distance. It almost seems they miss the control but my head feels lighter having to constantly rescue others mostly no one wants the advice.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад +2

      I am so glad my videos have been helpful for you ❤️

    • @GD-cr5um
      @GD-cr5um 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@gloriavis then why Ru on this channel?

  • @megyerizsuzsadora
    @megyerizsuzsadora 7 месяцев назад +3

    Thanks so much Terri❤ I have just asked a man I have been getting to know about his opinion of male-female friendships as this has caused me pain in the past.
    He has a female friend whom he calls almost every day and stays overnight at her place sometimes. For me it’s too much of an emotional closeness but I got more concerned about his response, ‘if it’s a dealbreaker for you, then end this. It’s your decision. My friends are important. You are jealous’. He is 50, am 43. Hm, my way or the high way thinking is not something I appreciate. I asked him about possible solutions/ setting new boundaries but he said it was my problem. In the past I would have stayed, now I feel both of us should be open to finding a solution, not just me. Again, thank you for your thoughts✨

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      You're so welcome ❤️ If you haven't watched this video I did on boundaries and control, you might want to as it sounds like it could help, too: ruclips.net/video/8sBKq8cRs78/видео.html

    • @astrialindah2773
      @astrialindah2773 6 месяцев назад

      Thank yourself for dodging the bullet! Great job in knowing who you are and what are acceptable boundaries! 😍

  • @cascadea
    @cascadea 7 месяцев назад +7

    Excellent video, Terri. Gratitude ❤

  • @msrosie420
    @msrosie420 7 месяцев назад +5

    the timing of this is spooky because it resonates so deeply with what im going through right now. thank you, i really needed to hear this

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      I am so glad it resonated for you ❤️

  • @user-qv7vi2ls6j
    @user-qv7vi2ls6j 7 месяцев назад +1

    Discerning what is Normal

  • @flyingcheff
    @flyingcheff 7 месяцев назад +3

    You absolutely got a balloon drop on the "if you don't respect somebody, who gives a shit what they think about you"! Bummer when it's your kid. Also devastating when you have to acknowledge that although you REALLY paid attention to how you raised your child, being conscious and really committed to doing it BETTER, showing up, and being there, (and no revolving door of replacement "fathers"), then they turn out to be a seemingly barely related, unconscious person that takes out ALL of their frustration about the parent that wasn't there, even when they are an adult. Wow, that's a very confusing kick in the gut that pretty much eviscerates.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️

    • @moen4645
      @moen4645 7 месяцев назад +1

      I have witnessed this kind of behaviour to one other parent or both, and I must say is quite sad and disturbing~😔
      Good on you for trying to be BETTER~💕

    • @flyingcheff
      @flyingcheff 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@moen4645 thank you. That actually helps me feel seen. Not alone in the world with an adult child wolf.

    • @moen4645
      @moen4645 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@flyingcheff...I reckon you are not alone on this~💜

  • @brittanycamille6460
    @brittanycamille6460 Месяц назад +1

    “Not everybody has to be in your VIP section!”- Terri Cole…mic drop 🎤 😂❤ love you! From a random 36 year old recovering people-pleaser in California 😊 I appreciate your insight so much!! 🎉 🩷

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  Месяц назад

      You know it! And I am cheering you on 💕 Thanks for leaving this comment xo

  • @deeee7833
    @deeee7833 7 месяцев назад +2

    Discernment can come as a gift as Christans believe. King David married Abigail because she was discerning. He loved the Abigail, also he understood he could get away better from his enemies with her as a wife.

  • @beverlyhogan3682
    @beverlyhogan3682 2 месяца назад +1

    I Have formerly read and heard, “Not everyone deserves to be in your life.” I Have also heard people comment (something like) that the five people you spend most of your time with determine the kind of person you become. Your elaboration of the first comment makes this comment explicit. I also like that you made a distinction between judging another and exercising discernment. I will stop here and just say that you shared many insights in this video.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  2 месяца назад

      I am so glad it was helpful, Beverly 💕 Thanks for sharing your takeaways!

  • @wendimakus6292
    @wendimakus6292 2 месяца назад +1

    Hi I'm Wendi , I've gotten a lot from your content! Appreciate your authentic insight

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  2 месяца назад

      Well hello there, Wendi! Thanks for taking the time to share that- so glad my content is helping you ❤️

  • @gravity0529
    @gravity0529 7 месяцев назад +1

    My name is Richard, I appreciate your advice, I am soo glad that we have people that care about the quality of life.
    Answer to the 1st 2nd 3rd question: neither

  • @terrielynnhamilton9996
    @terrielynnhamilton9996 7 месяцев назад +3

    I appreciate this information

  • @ACHNACONE
    @ACHNACONE 7 месяцев назад +4

    Wonderful video .. I love your ‘realness’ .. thank you for another great video 🙂

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you for being here!

  • @christineyoungberg5389
    @christineyoungberg5389 7 месяцев назад +2

    Great Terri - thanks so much & I’m opening up your new Boundary Boss Wkbook! 🙌 PS- the Uncle Bob examples are helpful & kinda crack me up! No thx & Buh Bye Uncle Bob 😂

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @marilynoverton8142
    @marilynoverton8142 7 месяцев назад +3

    Wonderfully helpful, Terri! Thank you so, so much!

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      So glad it was helpful! ❤️

  • @user-qv7vi2ls6j
    @user-qv7vi2ls6j 7 месяцев назад +2

    This content is an eye opener

  • @msevolution2317
    @msevolution2317 7 месяцев назад +2

    Perfect timing, I did the automatic yes - thought I had grown past that but I realise I hadn’t cultivate the internal space of late to respond rather than react. 🙏

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      It can be a challenge to overcome when you've been conditioned to say yes for so long. Good on you for noticing ❤️

    • @user-qv7vi2ls6j
      @user-qv7vi2ls6j 7 месяцев назад

      Teri Cole, Im new to your channel, very insightful and empowering.

  • @moen4645
    @moen4645 7 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for creating this episode & learning Terri.
    So interesting but trying to think through and understand everything in this content. 😊🌸
    The download guide for revision is so
    useful...thank you~thank you~

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      I'm so glad the guide is useful for you, and that you enjoyed this episode ❤️❤️

  • @awesomemax3330
    @awesomemax3330 7 месяцев назад +2

    Terri!! Thank you for sharing the Good Friend or Frenemy Cheat Sheet. I downloaded it and it has help me realize who is not making me happy in the friendship. By the way, same here!! When i was 17, I did not know the meaning of frenemies, although I encountered one girl who is 7 years older than me. I kept wondering Oh my gosh, why does she keep looking jealous and pouchy lips when I dress with more stylish clothes or more accessories. I noticed she competing against me in Church the next Sunday. And I was wondering Uh why? That friend was happy when I was down and depressed but when I am happy and risen with a smile, she becomes unhappy and inferior to see me that way. After hearing your video and reading your downloads, now i know that person has a name-Frenemy. Take care. God bless!! Please continue uploading videos. It helps a lot!!🙂

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад +1

      I am so glad the cheat sheet helped you- thank you for taking the time to let me know. I appreciate you ❤️❤️

  • @elisadaluz
    @elisadaluz 7 месяцев назад +2

    Hi Terri! Thanks for creating awareness in such important and complex topics. Hugs from Madeira island.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      ❤️❤️❤️

  • @HeavenlyLights
    @HeavenlyLights 7 месяцев назад +1

    ThankYou for raising that deal breaker of healthy life style for the partner.Important to me too.

  • @erin3291
    @erin3291 7 месяцев назад +3

    excellent info…Thanks Terri💜

  • @user-qv7vi2ls6j
    @user-qv7vi2ls6j 7 месяцев назад +1

    Empowerment shared on this channel🎉

  • @Kitty-fx8ei
    @Kitty-fx8ei 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you❤

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      You're so welcome ❤️

  • @ladyesther
    @ladyesther 7 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you Terri. Your content is like a concentrated dose of wisdom. I loved your Boundary Boss book. I need to listen to it at least 2 more times so I can remember the content to put it into practice. Thank you.

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      Thank you for being here, Esther ❤️❤️

  • @anusivaNilavu
    @anusivaNilavu 12 дней назад +1

    Great content ❤ Luv your Work 🎉

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  9 дней назад

      Thank you, I appreciate you being here ❤️

  • @daniellemarieclarke2965
    @daniellemarieclarke2965 7 месяцев назад +1

    Extremely helpful, thanks so much!

    • @terri_cole
      @terri_cole  7 месяцев назад

      So glad to hear it, Danielle! ❤️

  • @edaa1861
    @edaa1861 6 месяцев назад +2

    ı wish you publish it as a turkish too.

  • @ieatpaintchips72
    @ieatpaintchips72 7 месяцев назад +3

    yes, i do think that's gross. if a male partner told me i had to keep my body a certain way i would lose my shit at them.

  • @LisaSmith-hu7ep
    @LisaSmith-hu7ep 6 месяцев назад +2

    👍👏👏

  • @sayusayme7729
    @sayusayme7729 7 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you, great timing 🤍