The Full Story of the Witcher 1 in about 13 minutes

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  • Опубликовано: 15 июл 2024
  • In case you've never played the Witcher 1 and really can't be bothered but you WOULD like to know what happened before you jump into the Witcher 2 or Witcher 3, here's a video.
    Yes it's a bit of a joke but also you do get the whole story. Avallac'h with sunglasses is now canon lore by the way.
    ► Patreon: / properbird
    ► Twitch: jinzee
    ► Twitter: PB_Jinzee
    ► Bird Art by: Kali_Vasquez
    ► Vod Channel: / @jinzeevods
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Комментарии • 432

  • @jigglyness9986
    @jigglyness9986 6 лет назад +1279

    ‘Collecting cards’ sounds so innocent if you haven’t actually played the game

    • @funkyplaysgames
      @funkyplaysgames 4 года назад +26

      Jigglyness ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    • @trevorhouff1173
      @trevorhouff1173 4 года назад +30

      In reality its an addiction

    • @HPalternetive
      @HPalternetive 4 года назад +28

      In reality its a real mans game

    • @Mr0Anonymous0
      @Mr0Anonymous0 4 года назад +6

      In reality I am not sure what to do with breath and I don't want to be a pain in the end will only bring us to the noise of your profound and spiritual life that you can be different from the past and you have to be careful about what you do and how you can be successful in your life.

    • @theoc8717
      @theoc8717 4 года назад +35

      Never played the game so I looked it up assuming they were gwent related cards... Let's just say I'm quite bamboozled right now

  • @NuxyrYT
    @NuxyrYT 6 лет назад +712

    They could've combined the romance cards so nicely with Gwent in The Witcher 3...
    Wanna have a Zoltan card? Well, guess who you'd need to romance!

    • @thevupham5605
      @thevupham5605 4 года назад +20

      That run into a twist is how other people got their Zoltan card :)))

    • @lennon224
      @lennon224 4 года назад +20

      a romance between geralt and zoltan is all i ever wanted and never knew i wanted it

    • @lemao2222
      @lemao2222 4 года назад +9

      No need to romance, just a quickie in the barn should be enough to earn the cards. LMAO

    • @driftingdruid
      @driftingdruid 4 года назад +1

      looking for the Phillipa Eilhart card, wonder who she had a hoot time with...

    • @marinatedweasel5424
      @marinatedweasel5424 3 года назад +1

      Thế Vũ Phạm
      Well you get the Yennefer card from that bank dwarf so wtf Yennefer....

  • @K.JBoone
    @K.JBoone 6 лет назад +507

    Geralt collects quite a few cards.

    • @ProperBird
      @ProperBird  6 лет назад +70

      It's the true main story of this game ;D

    • @melancholicsmile5575
      @melancholicsmile5575 4 года назад

      U MeAn You Did

    • @tanyasijani2987
      @tanyasijani2987 3 года назад

      You have no idea, mate. I spent more time with gwynt in W3, than anything else. I even went to the kurvahouse to play card games.

    • @rigdigwus
      @rigdigwus 3 года назад +13

      @@tanyasijani2987 and you have no idea what adults are talking about

    • @BarileoBarilei
      @BarileoBarilei 2 года назад +3

      @@tanyasijani2987 cards in first game were a bit different

  • @memorandom7484
    @memorandom7484 6 лет назад +270

    This animation is some Monty Python level funny.

  • @michaelbashford2733
    @michaelbashford2733 5 лет назад +704

    What I've learned:
    Geralt likes cards and;
    Salamandra is the largest employer in 1240's.
    I wonder what medieval minimum wage was?

    • @pawnap666
      @pawnap666 4 года назад +37

      I think she fails though mentioned the biggest point and twist of TW1.
      Alvin saw in Geralt a father figure and whatever you said it to him he would later on use that in his internal logic to justify his actions.
      Reason why witchers were attacked was that because Alvin believed only mutants will be able to lead humaning from white frost so the whole plot and everything happened because alvin was impressed by Geralt logic and reason and he twists it due to his loss of mother and other events into what is plot of TW1.

    • @batshine8
      @batshine8 4 года назад +5

      Your wages? We won't immediately kill you. If you don't die from the experimentation, you can stay at Azar's place in the basement.

    • @seafighter4
      @seafighter4 4 года назад +4

      Those cards, man. Like medieval nudes.

    • @mr.mcdabington9278
      @mr.mcdabington9278 4 года назад

      Michael Bashford about 2 pounds a day

    • @semir9112
      @semir9112 4 года назад +1

      Probably just like Talar's recompense from Geralt for some info on Salamandra and Berengar's stuff. Direct translation from Polish: "I won't slaughter you like hog".

  • @euychua
    @euychua 6 лет назад +62

    Confirms geralts card collecting addiction pre-gwent

  • @siamath9954
    @siamath9954 6 лет назад +154

    Did I need a recap? No. Did I literally drop everything to watch it. Yes. Was it worth it? Hell yes!

    • @2Scribble
      @2Scribble 3 года назад +1

      Well, I mean, she straight up says at the ending that almost none of this shit even MATTERS in the plot of Witcher 2 and means even LESS in Witcher 3 but who CARES because - look! She got PUPPETS, YO!!!!!!

  • @thatdenverguy
    @thatdenverguy 6 лет назад +425

    This was AMAZING! Please do Witcher 2!!! (If you didn't go insane with this editing already)

    • @ProperBird
      @ProperBird  6 лет назад +25

      Thanks! Probably after I finish the Lorethrough series. :p

    • @sigibaes
      @sigibaes 4 года назад +4

      You should just play it, it's an amazing game!

    • @MISAKIBeats
      @MISAKIBeats 4 года назад +6

      @@ProperBird I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVE This! after having to watch a full 3 hour game cinematic movie cut of the Witcher 1 game I regret never finding this. PLEASE Give us one for the Witcher 2. Loving your lore series as well

    • @user-ji7tr5og4l
      @user-ji7tr5og4l 3 года назад

      @@ProperBird х

    • @demyn7848
      @demyn7848 3 года назад

      Wait, you play THE WITCHER?! I thought you only played fortnite and shit lmao

  • @misterl1668
    @misterl1668 3 года назад +34

    I can't begin to tell you how much time you saved me. I've only played the witcher 3 and wanted some back stories. Thank you for all your efforts and humor

    • @ProperBird
      @ProperBird  3 года назад +6

      You are most welcome!

    • @chrisgriffiths2187
      @chrisgriffiths2187 Год назад +1

      I played through the first game in 34.4 hours so approximately 34.4 hours

  • @Metaknight251
    @Metaknight251 4 года назад +47

    5:30
    Triss checks Geralt’s internals but looks like he did the same for her 😏

  • @caotine
    @caotine 6 лет назад +78

    It really looks like you put a lot of work into this quality content, great job!

  • @phraun
    @phraun 6 лет назад +83

    GERALTO-SAMA
    lmfao

  • @mirzaerdurak9650
    @mirzaerdurak9650 6 лет назад +222

    Ok this is brilliant you definitely need to do more of these i love your sense of humor

  • @samanthal2427
    @samanthal2427 6 лет назад +17

    I almost never comment on videos, but I had to tell you that this was hilarious. Your popup dialog had me in stitches. As usual, you are awesome, thanks for your hard work!

  • @derkatzenfuerst6077
    @derkatzenfuerst6077 4 года назад +20

    Been a while since I played TW1, I had completely forgotten how beautiful the loadscreen art was.
    Excellent summary, I loved the animation and dialogue.

  • @biguschungus3989
    @biguschungus3989 6 лет назад +14

    Now that's some quality animation right there really captures geralts emotions and expressions

  • @nauticalcandy
    @nauticalcandy 6 лет назад +13

    I also work for Salamandra and I approve this video.

  • @Lukas-pk3vh
    @Lukas-pk3vh 6 лет назад +18

    Oh my, there are so many cards left to collect

  • @Criticcizm
    @Criticcizm 3 года назад +7

    After I heard "Geralt hits Jack so hard the Wild Hunt appears!" I couldt stop 😂😂

  • @alejandrosolis6199
    @alejandrosolis6199 3 года назад

    I loved this! Love your style, time to watch part 2. Merry Christmas!

  • @MildMight
    @MildMight 4 года назад +3

    i really appreciate all the effort and humor that went into this

  • @malkavian3783
    @malkavian3783 6 лет назад +7

    I'm a mega fan of everything you do, but especially the Avallac'h pop ups, not gonna lie.

  • @sinokman
    @sinokman 6 лет назад +2

    the card collecting is soooo important no one should skip doing that.
    by the way great job on this video like always.

  • @danno1022
    @danno1022 6 лет назад +2

    Excellent well put together vid Dh'oine 🔥🔝

  • @Nushnark
    @Nushnark 6 лет назад +47

    I can't descide what is the best about this video:
    The great, fast-paced dialogue of the characters that pop up every second?
    The anime-eyed trading cards?
    The dead serious delivery of all of this?
    Or everything together?
    I think I'll go with "everything together". Great video, Jinzee, thanks for sharing ,-)

  • @veggiemonkie5041
    @veggiemonkie5041 4 года назад

    Just got recommended your channel and I wonder why I haven't found you sooner! Amazing content!

  • @sou5597
    @sou5597 6 лет назад +1

    Great editing! Loved the cartoon. Thanks for narrating the story, wanted to know the story for a long time. And also got to know the viper witcher's transmuted card comes from the bonus scene.

  • @wiskeeamazingdancer4964
    @wiskeeamazingdancer4964 6 лет назад

    That was absolutely awesome! Voice work and animation

  • @codalina
    @codalina 4 года назад

    I adore how you recapped this, so many cards ^_^

  • @dezzdinn
    @dezzdinn 5 лет назад

    So, this is why I have to tune into your live streams as often as possible. Even if it's for a moment or so. So many Lolz!

  • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
    @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 6 лет назад +17

    An excellent summary of The Witcher 1. Praise be to Mellytelly!

  • @user-di6zz2fn9e
    @user-di6zz2fn9e 5 лет назад +1

    the way u tell the story .. so ez to understand its brilliant, thanks

  • @navid24601
    @navid24601 2 года назад

    Thank you. Your tone and everything were cool and funny. I also enjoyed your storytelling.

  • @mandyharrison8847
    @mandyharrison8847 6 лет назад +2

    Thank you! I love your videos.

  • @LordofBroccoli
    @LordofBroccoli 6 лет назад +6

    "Bark Bark Bitches" xDDDD That is so much better than The Beast.

  • @BeautyIsJustAMask
    @BeautyIsJustAMask 6 лет назад +10

    Hahahaha oh god I love this. How can one pick a favourite moment from something so glorious. The exchange between the mutant and Geralt was a stand out though. Also I'll never not find it funny that Azar thinks he has any chance against Geralt when he's an absolute nobody in comparison to Vilgefortz.

  • @trollslayer12
    @trollslayer12 6 лет назад +17

    i said it before and i will say it again snarky Jinze is best Jinze. I laughed so hard at some of those "Dialoges" :D

  • @Xenodyne
    @Xenodyne 4 года назад +2

    The phrase "menial tasks" popped up enough times throughout this synopsis, confirmed I made the right choice watching a recap lol.

    • @thekiss2083
      @thekiss2083 3 года назад +1

      Yeah Witcher 1 is like 10% enjoyable story, 50% fetch quests and 40% running around LARGE areas with no fast travel

  • @MrAbubu
    @MrAbubu 3 года назад +2

    Somebody: *mentions the elder blood*
    AvalLac'h: *pops out of nowhere* DIDSOMEONESAIDTHEELDERBLOOD

  • @jeremiahsmith1036
    @jeremiahsmith1036 6 лет назад

    This was amazing best recap on youtube keep Up the great work. The Water Lords Are Nigh! I really hope that line is referenced in cyberpunk I heard it way to many times on my playthroughs.

  • @claireellul4863
    @claireellul4863 4 года назад

    Please do the rest, because this is super entertaining

  • @br16hts29
    @br16hts29 3 года назад

    Oh my goodness this was soo good love the humour it actually made it watchable out of all the witcher explained videos.

  • @omari3545
    @omari3545 6 лет назад

    jinzee that was really really good hahahaha great idea for a video and great execution :)

  • @SpaceTacos60316
    @SpaceTacos60316 4 года назад

    This is GENIUS!!! Cannot wait for your recap of Witcher 2 and Witcher 3!! Still laughing at this one!!

  • @dinislopes9432
    @dinislopes9432 5 лет назад

    This is perfect. :D Thank you so much!

  • @Cataclym
    @Cataclym 6 лет назад

    Great job explaining and making it entertaining to watch as well! Thanks a lot :)

    •  6 лет назад

      You could say that "It just woooorks???" Maybe? Todd? No? Okay then :(

  • @mistersludgy3203
    @mistersludgy3203 4 года назад

    I'm literally going to subscribe to your everything now. This was so great

  • @Avagato
    @Avagato 2 года назад

    Thank you, that was exactly what i was looking for.

  • @Ossixoxo
    @Ossixoxo 6 лет назад +4

    these animations are on point

  • @SniggKnight
    @SniggKnight 4 года назад +19

    I like how you're playing the Gwent theme in the background, the card game LOL

    • @tribalstyle138
      @tribalstyle138 4 года назад +1

      Just now upon watching this video have decided to replay W3 just for more Gwent. God I love OG Gwent.

    • @kaelhazard-4171
      @kaelhazard-4171 4 года назад

      well. that card is just... amazing... like in the 3rd, but in card 🤫

  • @LUDOfanGIRL
    @LUDOfanGIRL 4 года назад +1

    "Like the creepy little disease he is" this is gold please do the other witcher's! Love this soo entertaining I never played the game and was going to finish watching game play but this sums it up way better lol

  • @TheMenschsein
    @TheMenschsein 5 лет назад

    The voice behind this video makes everything.
    Thanks for the recap-

  • @2Scribble
    @2Scribble 3 года назад

    I love the puppet theatre aesthetic you've got here lol
    Just needs Statler and Waldorf shouting 'encouragement' to be perfect XD

  • @MISAKIBeats
    @MISAKIBeats 4 года назад

    I've head a lot of recaps... but This! This IS THE BEST!! OMG where have you been all my life! I

  • @lordneojacks
    @lordneojacks 4 года назад

    Damn, this is so funny, and oddly satisfying to watch and listen to. What an experience. Thank you

  • @brandy1999
    @brandy1999 6 лет назад

    This is hilarious on some many levels, pls do more

  • @aftenulv
    @aftenulv 6 лет назад +3

    This was a nice summary of the first game. I started with the Witcher 2 and later tried playing the first game but couldn't get into it because of the combat system/mechanics.

  • @AndrewD8Red
    @AndrewD8Red 5 лет назад +1

    This video was FANTASTIC! I had to watch it half a dozen times because I kept missing things, due to all the giggling.
    Your videos make me feel so darn happy!

  • @kingofnamek
    @kingofnamek 6 месяцев назад

    Starting another Witcher 3 playthrough and this video is always my first step

  • @dumbproductions2958
    @dumbproductions2958 3 года назад +2

    "I swear, it's for my gwent deck"

  • @jacobbisher6291
    @jacobbisher6291 6 лет назад

    nice recap, I enjoyed the animations :)

  • @Dat1boi05
    @Dat1boi05 4 года назад +2

    This recap was almost amazing, but it was very important that Alvin freaked out and teleported away, definitely should have included that tidbit, makes the story make more sense.

  • @chrisgriffiths2187
    @chrisgriffiths2187 Год назад +1

    This was hilariously blunt. I am a fan

  • @YoshtTheAwesome
    @YoshtTheAwesome 6 лет назад +19

    Jaques was Alvin all along? They grow up so fast!

    • @luisoncpp
      @luisoncpp Год назад

      There is one point in the game when unexpectedly Alvin teleports to never be seen again, so probably he accidentaly time traveled some decades to the past and became Jaques.

  • @vakar9779
    @vakar9779 6 лет назад +1

    geralto sama LOL this vid is amazing thank you for making this

  • @murilo9992
    @murilo9992 4 года назад

    Thanks for the recap very funny too!

  • @whitewolf_vp
    @whitewolf_vp Год назад

    OMG I'm absolutely in love with how you pronounce these names 🤣🤣🤣 Love your channel and always happy to see a new video.

  • @nevenincsutca
    @nevenincsutca 2 года назад

    Best video game summary I have ever seen

  • @SirRavix
    @SirRavix 6 лет назад +4

    This is amazing and hilarious! XD
    Geralto-sama!

  • @martinjohnston4754
    @martinjohnston4754 4 года назад

    Quality, thank you :)

  • @azhar4716
    @azhar4716 3 года назад

    I just finished this game yesterday. Awesome video

  • @cb2291
    @cb2291 5 лет назад

    Thanks I needed that

  • @schrodinger6675
    @schrodinger6675 6 лет назад +39

    Learned more watching this than playing the game.

    • @LeEnnyFace
      @LeEnnyFace 5 лет назад +5

      The game is full of filler quests and errands...

  • @andrewmurray409
    @andrewmurray409 5 лет назад +1

    I literally watched this video every time I hopped on the game. The two kinda go together now

  •  6 лет назад +2

    "Time for tea--"
    Reminds me of Gowasu and Zamasu
    The editting is great, minus the subtitles appearing for a very short time.

  • @johnscherer5686
    @johnscherer5686 2 года назад

    ok
    1. this is absolutely brilliant.
    2. I didn't know what you meant by "trading card" until I thought about it for a second lmao

  • @HeatherHurst1979
    @HeatherHurst1979 5 лет назад

    Haha, epic recap :D Well done! I love your humor.

    • @ProperBird
      @ProperBird  5 лет назад +1

      Thank you, animations are definitely new for me. :p

  • @MISAKIBeats
    @MISAKIBeats 4 года назад

    ....Here I am, again, re-watching this for like 8 times now. I've decided I'll keep re-watching this until a similar video is made for the witcher 2

  • @Kevkoss
    @Kevkoss 6 лет назад

    The way you described the story makes Minesweeper lore live and deep :D

  • @Sembiance
    @Sembiance 5 лет назад +8

    This was astoundingly perfect! Was playing Witcher 1, didn't love the gameplay very much and the constant "card hunting" wasn't my cup-o-tea. Story seemed a bit slow and so I'm so happy I found your video while I was in the middle of Chapter 2. Thank you VERY much!!

    • @ProperBird
      @ProperBird  5 лет назад +3

      Enjoy the Witcher 2 if you get to it in that case :p

  • @robertputzier9543
    @robertputzier9543 4 года назад

    your narration is hilarious
    "what a twist"

  • @gabrieldavid4250
    @gabrieldavid4250 2 года назад

    Geralt every time he sees a ''card''
    ''This will make a fine addition to my collection''

  • @davienarmstrong1021
    @davienarmstrong1021 6 лет назад

    This is great! Never realized the story is kinda all over the place

  • @skeithcxiv1538
    @skeithcxiv1538 5 лет назад +1

    I cannot bring myself to replay Witcher 1 after all those years so here I am. Onwards to Witcher 2!

  • @phelanii4444
    @phelanii4444 6 лет назад +6

    The Witcher's Med'an. I understood that reference!

  • @petrhauser7162
    @petrhauser7162 Год назад

    Brilliant!!! You just save me few hours of gaming 😂 thank you

  • @Fenry93
    @Fenry93 4 года назад

    This was amazing! Thanks i don't have to replay witcher 1 for the sixth time :DD

  • @MrDudestein
    @MrDudestein 6 лет назад +11

    The water Lords are nigh!

  • @fregatopolitis
    @fregatopolitis 4 года назад

    That actually helped me

  • @vibesdungeon
    @vibesdungeon 4 года назад +2

    I never played the first game, didn't realize how many cards he collected, like damn

  • @kevinverzee8873
    @kevinverzee8873 6 лет назад +7

    I think we must make it clear that the Water Lords are nigh.

  • @bosshaug5672
    @bosshaug5672 4 года назад

    Well done!

  •  4 года назад +1

    collecting cards refers to banging, to whose don't know

  • @orenjuice100
    @orenjuice100 2 года назад

    Great vid

  • @snoop0005
    @snoop0005 3 года назад

    Watching this video after reading the books getting ready to play witcher 2 but forgot all the lore from witcher 1

  • @mega4711
    @mega4711 6 лет назад

    Good stuff!! 🙂

  • @notmebro7145
    @notmebro7145 3 года назад

    Thanks for saving me from the nightmare

  • @kerbystar
    @kerbystar 6 лет назад +14

    “Yer a wizard Alvin” omfg I died!!! Jinzeeeeeee😹😹😹😹😹😹😹!!!!!

  • @Marcuinhos
    @Marcuinhos 4 года назад

    Very entertaining!

  • @jamesnicol8352
    @jamesnicol8352 2 года назад

    The second I knew the cards, the quickest I've been to downloading the game