The child sets the relationship? I was in a training on one of my jobs as a part-time parent aide and we learned about the mindsets of abusive parents. They parentify/adultify young children and infants. They put adult responsibilities on them and assign sophisticated motives to their behavior way beyond their developmental level. That's how they try to absolve themselves of any responsibility for their abuse. Fascinating your dad thinks/thought that way.
I feel for you both and hope you heal from your religious and family traumas. Having a background in teaching reasoning and argument, I want to mention how FAR you've both come in your abilities to both analyze and make arguments since leaving the Order. As time passes, you are making up for so much of what was denied you in your education. I'm proud of you. Sending you BIG LOVE.
Brother Nice Guy all parents make mistakes but pressuring your teenager to marry and procreate with a close relative is an abomination. Refusing to educate your child and sending them to live a life of poverty is cruel and soul crushing. People throughout the civilized world would remove and adopt children that had to live under these conditions.
I’m so surprised that order people watch your videos bc they say they don’t associate with “outsiders “. It proves that you guys are making a real impact and making a difference that could help your little siblings get out in the future!!! Sending love and hugs❤!!!
Sadly someone involved in such a brainwashing cult its never gonna happen .. he has power over kids and wife's so he hasn't got the chance to change as he is power mad
You and your siblings deserve unconditional love and I'm so sorry you did not receive it from your parents. As far as I can tell, you are a good man and your sisters are good women. Sending love to you and I pray that your family will recognize that goodness and become open to having relationships with you. 💜
I am 31 and went through much of the same things you guys have. Things got worse before they got better. Once my siblings were older we had a relationship for ourselves. We had to call the cops at one point because they were trying to keep my adult sister from visiting me. I walked out 14 years ago now and I actually have a relationship with all of my siblings and parents. They were in a much smaller cult that kind of fell apart (that blame was put on me) and that may contribute to their change of ways. Just keep trying and it will eventually work out.
I'm soo proud of both of you! Both your channels are awesome!! Keep doing what you do because your siblings need to know they have choices and they don't deserve to be beat!
My belief is that the reason your father doesnt fight for you is that he knows you are right and he is intimidated by the truth. Like what Eskel was saying that he was adamant that there is no room for free will in his adult children. He feels reduced in a way that you are able to make your own decisions and use your brain to realize that The Order is an abusive cult.
I feel like we can have compassion for the women in the order, who are victims of their husbands, and still hold them accountable for not protecting their children. It is a complex situation but I feel like we can hold both of those feelings for someone at once.
Eskel has came so very far in this short amount of time. So have you Amanda. I'm freakin proud of you, you literally haven't budged & are standing true & exposing th out of them 💜💜💜
I am proud of the growth Eskel has shown since he left, and how outgoing and more confident he is him telling his truth. Awesome job! I made it to the end of the video, I always do. 👍😃
When it comes to parent child relationships, the bulk of the effort is on the parent, period. And the parents who try to justify mistreatment of their kids by pointing to the fact that they did the bare minimum to keep them alive, are delusional. Your child didn't ask to be born.
Eskel yet again I am so sorry for your father's reaction and behaviour .. You are an amazing young man and I am so grateful for you for standing strong within yourself and faith The thing is it doesn't matter that parents don't want you to be close to your siblings however your prayers for your family will help them without them knowing it .. later on your siblings will learn and realise that u love them .. It sounded like there was no compromisation and when it's like that the only way to have a relationship is from a distance. Amanda is there any positive thing you will teach your kids about your parents as its gonna be weird as they will wanna know there grand parents . Sadly I think your mother has been involved too long married and non married as she won't actually know who she is as at 17 your still trying to figure things out and now there isn't anything for her to fall back on as a memory which she enjoyed..
Nextime, he digs his heels in on you, having a relationship with your family, let him know technically it is up to your mom and Kyle Grant 😉. Buh Bye Mr. got no legal dad rights!
It sounds much worse in a polygamous family. But what is going on there is happening in non religious in anyway families, where there is family violence and abuse. Kids will be gaslit and adults will stand by when kids are abused and any family member who speaks badly of the family are then "dead" to them. Domestic violence crosses all religion and culture and socio economic status. It is so sad.
I feel for you both that you don't have the supportive family you deserve but you have each other. Sadly you have to realise to be selfish and put yourself first and just try and see your siblings and if not they may want to know you when there older
The dad needs to realize that as the kids get older, they need more independence, as if the dad taught the kids well enough then he should trust that the kids know right from wrong and will do right. After 18 he can still parent, but not control any longer. It's crazy how "brainwashed" everybody is to the point they don't realize or can't see what they are doing is wrong. If anybody doesn't want certain things to get out to others around them, the internet, or in the media, then don't do them. Simple as that
Why not ask your dad to do a show with you If he wants to defend his parenting style? One thing I think you should acknowledge is that he truly loves you in his own way. He honestly believes you will burn in Hell if you don't follow his religion. No one wants their children to suffer. If you acknowledge his love, he might become less adament about forcing his beliefs on you. Another thought -- he wants you to respect him as a man in his community. I think you can also remind him you are a man, and you deserve the same respect for your own personal beliefs.
All my love, I appreciate both of your honesty and channels. But any form of abuse is TOO MUCH abuse. Please realize that just because you didn't have it as bad as others, doesn't mean you are not entitled to feeling hurt.
@Amanda Rae hahaha- "hate the Raiders" 🤣 49ers all the way. 😁 And the NFL be trying to push that the Chargers is who the 49ers have the rivalry with. 🤮 It has been, is, and will be the Raiders that 49ers fans dislike. 😂
Brother Eskel you are good person but I need to see that in you father's and mother's make mistakes and so do you. You need to let it be. You father may not know that you were bothered of his actions. He must been the same for you. That my friend, is an equal so if you want to talk about him say something nice about him for once. Peace ✌️
He doesnt have to let it be. His father traumatized him and deserted him when he didnt stay in the order. I imagine you are one of his friends or the crazy Daniel. Go away.
What were you hoping to accomplish with this comment? Whenever I think of the Order, I think about the Latin phrase "res ipsa loquitur"--the thing speaks for itself. the bare minimum facts, the members' doctrine or opinions aside, paint a HORRIBLE picture. Eskel's father's actions speak for themselves. Those actions do not simply "bother" people.
@@mrniceguy60 A child does not need to do things for their parent. That's not the way a parental relationship should work. I also have my doubts about his father doing "so much" for Eskel. 🙄
I love how this family is watching out for each other
The kids are, anyway.
The child sets the relationship? I was in a training on one of my jobs as a part-time parent aide and we learned about the mindsets of abusive parents. They parentify/adultify young children and infants. They put adult responsibilities on them and assign sophisticated motives to their behavior way beyond their developmental level. That's how they try to absolve themselves of any responsibility for their abuse. Fascinating your dad thinks/thought that way.
Exactly
I feel for you both and hope you heal from your religious and family traumas.
Having a background in teaching reasoning and argument, I want to mention how FAR you've both come in your abilities to both analyze and make arguments since leaving the Order. As time passes, you are making up for so much of what was denied you in your education. I'm proud of you.
Sending you BIG LOVE.
I think they both have come far as well. I am impressed and happy far they have come about speaking out, and having the confidence to do this.
Brother Nice Guy all parents make mistakes but pressuring your teenager to marry and procreate with a close relative is an abomination. Refusing to educate your child and sending them to live a life of poverty is cruel and soul crushing. People throughout the civilized world would remove and adopt children that had to live under these conditions.
Keep telling your stories Amanda and Eskel! We hear you and support you 🫶
yesssss
I’m so surprised that order people watch your videos bc they say they don’t associate with “outsiders “. It proves that you guys are making a real impact and making a difference that could help your little siblings get out in the future!!! Sending love and hugs❤!!!
You were a child, THATS the difference. You should have been protected by your parents, not the other way around.
Agency for me, not for thee
You handled this situation really well Eskel. You show a lot of maturity, shame your Dad has not done the same up to this point.
Sadly someone involved in such a brainwashing cult its never gonna happen .. he has power over kids and wife's so he hasn't got the chance to change as he is power mad
You and your siblings deserve unconditional love and I'm so sorry you did not receive it from your parents. As far as I can tell, you are a good man and your sisters are good women. Sending love to you and I pray that your family will recognize that goodness and become open to having relationships with you. 💜
I am 31 and went through much of the same things you guys have. Things got worse before they got better. Once my siblings were older we had a relationship for ourselves. We had to call the cops at one point because they were trying to keep my adult sister from visiting me. I walked out 14 years ago now and I actually have a relationship with all of my siblings and parents. They were in a much smaller cult that kind of fell apart (that blame was put on me) and that may contribute to their change of ways. Just keep trying and it will eventually work out.
I’m so sorry your family treated you like that. Lots of love to you and Amanda.
I'm soo proud of both of you! Both your channels are awesome!! Keep doing what you do because your siblings need to know they have choices and they don't deserve to be beat!
My belief is that the reason your father doesnt fight for you is that he knows you are right and he is intimidated by the truth. Like what Eskel was saying that he was adamant that there is no room for free will in his adult children. He feels reduced in a way that you are able to make your own decisions and use your brain to realize that The Order is an abusive cult.
Great video Eskel! Can’t wait for part 2.
Heather your were super awesome in this live thank you ♡ sorry I was in an appointment during the premiere ♡
I feel like we can have compassion for the women in the order, who are victims of their husbands, and still hold them accountable for not protecting their children. It is a complex situation but I feel like we can hold both of those feelings for someone at once.
Proud of you Eskel!!!
you guys are such amazing people and its super shitty that your parents cant see that.
Oh my, your face when Eskel talks about the abuse. I am so sorry.
Eskel has came so very far in this short amount of time. So have you Amanda. I'm freakin proud of you, you literally haven't budged & are standing true & exposing th out of them 💜💜💜
I am proud of the growth Eskel has shown since he left, and how outgoing and more confident he is him telling his truth. Awesome job! I made it to the end of the video, I always do. 👍😃
Love you Eskel! I love your family 💕
I have been binge watching someone's channel that needed watch hours so having to play catchup on a bunch of videos...but ♡♡♡ to you and your siblings
Eskel -
My Grandpa would tell ya....
"You cannot have a battle of wits with an unarmed person!"
When it comes to parent child relationships, the bulk of the effort is on the parent, period. And the parents who try to justify mistreatment of their kids by pointing to the fact that they did the bare minimum to keep them alive, are delusional. Your child didn't ask to be born.
The reason for the anger is because the delusion shatters when you make them face the reality.
Amanda saying “I hate the raiders” was the first time Kyle Grant has felt proud in years 😂
Eskel yet again I am so sorry for your father's reaction and behaviour ..
You are an amazing young man and I am so grateful for you for standing strong within yourself and faith
The thing is it doesn't matter that parents don't want you to be close to your siblings however your prayers for your family will help them without them knowing it .. later on your siblings will learn and realise that u love them ..
It sounded like there was no compromisation and when it's like that the only way to have a relationship is from a distance.
Amanda is there any positive thing you will teach your kids about your parents as its gonna be weird as they will wanna know there grand parents .
Sadly I think your mother has been involved too long married and non married as she won't actually know who she is as at 17 your still trying to figure things out and now there isn't anything for her to fall back on as a memory which she enjoyed..
Amanda~ you need to do a video with your makeup tips!! Your shadow looks fantastic!!
The word is adamant
Nextime, he digs his heels in on you, having a relationship with your family, let him know technically it is up to your mom and Kyle Grant 😉. Buh Bye Mr. got no legal dad rights!
Regarding Verl and beating up his first wife's children, sounds like heaven on Earth all right.
It sounds much worse in a polygamous family. But what is going on there is happening in non religious in anyway families, where there is family violence and abuse. Kids will be gaslit and adults will stand by when kids are abused and any family member who speaks badly of the family are then "dead" to them. Domestic violence crosses all religion and culture and socio economic status. It is so sad.
Amanda you are so beautiful!!! Eskel you have such an amazing heart!!!
By force or by choice.. If Joseph Smith was forced by an angel to practice polygamy, was that not an act of Satan? 🤔
7:57 Is the word recalcitrant? Intractable?
I make it til the end of every video. Love you guys! 💕
The end was so freaking funny 😂
I feel for you both that you don't have the supportive family you deserve but you have each other. Sadly you have to realise to be selfish and put yourself first and just try and see your siblings and if not they may want to know you when there older
Hope you are doing well.
The dad needs to realize that as the kids get older, they need more independence, as if the dad taught the kids well enough then he should trust that the kids know right from wrong and will do right. After 18 he can still parent, but not control any longer. It's crazy how "brainwashed" everybody is to the point they don't realize or can't see what they are doing is wrong. If anybody doesn't want certain things to get out to others around them, the internet, or in the media, then don't do them. Simple as that
Thabo you!
Why not ask your dad to do a show with you If he wants to defend his parenting style?
One thing I think you should acknowledge is that he truly loves you in his own way. He honestly believes you will burn in Hell if you don't follow his religion. No one wants their children to suffer. If you acknowledge his love, he might become less adament about forcing his beliefs on you.
Another thought -- he wants you to respect him as a man in his community. I think you can also remind him you are a man, and you deserve the same respect for your own personal beliefs.
Ya that would be great, but he already said he will not do a video/interview with me.
All my love, I appreciate both of your honesty and channels. But any form of abuse is TOO MUCH abuse. Please realize that just because you didn't have it as bad as others, doesn't mean you are not entitled to feeling hurt.
Make a video about real order people who hate comment on your videos that’s entertainment baby.
@Amanda Rae hahaha- "hate the Raiders" 🤣 49ers all the way. 😁 And the NFL be trying to push that the Chargers is who the 49ers have the rivalry with. 🤮 It has been, is, and will be the Raiders that 49ers fans dislike. 😂
I’m proud of you both, but your mom is worse because she wasn’t born to it. Imo
Brother Eskel you are good person but I need to see that in you father's and mother's make mistakes and so do you. You need to let it be. You father may not know that you were bothered of his actions. He must been the same for you. That my friend, is an equal so if you want to talk about him say something nice about him for once. Peace ✌️
He doesnt have to let it be. His father traumatized him and deserted him when he didnt stay in the order. I imagine you are one of his friends or the crazy Daniel. Go away.
What were you hoping to accomplish with this comment?
Whenever I think of the Order, I think about the Latin phrase "res ipsa loquitur"--the thing speaks for itself. the bare minimum facts, the members' doctrine or opinions aside, paint a HORRIBLE picture. Eskel's father's actions speak for themselves. Those actions do not simply "bother" people.
@@beachdreamer5034 his father did so much for him. He never did the same for him that's why he thinks he traumatized. Her had no respect for him.
@@JM-pi7uh I know you were in the order at one point the world always says this not everybody is bad look on the bright side instead of the negative
@@mrniceguy60 A child does not need to do things for their parent. That's not the way a parental relationship should work. I also have my doubts about his father doing "so much" for Eskel. 🙄