Why I Leave the Toilet Seat Up | Jeff Allen
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Comedian Jeff Allen on leaving the toilet seat up.
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jeffallencomedy... Another great clip from the hilarious DVD, Bananas Featuring Jeff Allen.
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Yes I rewatch him all the time. He knows how to get to the heart of life and make me laugh, sometimes to tears.
Hilarious even after seeing this all before... why? Because it's all TRUE!
He is so funny. He was just in Phx last weekend and I had prior commitment and couldn’t go. I hope he comes back this way.
My grandmother said women should look before the sit anywhere. She said she learn to do this when she sat on her knitting needles.
I'm a married man of 24 yrs and I approve this message!
Thanks for the clean comedy!
I don’t know… it is toilet humor….
Haha... I fixed that situation after I fell in the toilet one night....I covered the bowl with Saran Wrap so when HE went in... in the middle of the night... the pee bounced off the Saran Wrap and right back at him! No more seat up after that!!!🤣🤣🤣
My ex tried that... I just left the pee on the Saran Wrap and the floor. We never fought about that again. 👍🏼
@@badlandskid,haha, you never fought again lol. Yeah, because she smartened up and left.
Winnie Kay yep... trained her well.
I'll bet that created more harmony in your marriage.
I would have finished the job and handed you a mop.
I'm single. When a woman uses my bathroom I always say, "Don't forget to put the seat up after you use the toilet." :-)
I put it down because my toothbrush fell in once and now I'm traumatized forever
Trauma should have only happened if you used it afterwards.
@@weaponizedmath4369 weelll...
Well Ladies the good thing about going in the bathroom and seeing the toilet seat up is knowing that he didn't sprinkle on your seat, you just put the seat down and it's all nice and dry
joshua deatherage 👍❤️👏🏼 GOT IT ! See woman do learn something ! However the Toilet seat (up or down ) issue is just a strategy to keep you boy’s in line ! Woman always look before They set down ,to make sure you remember to flush ! 👍👏🏼💕👵🏻
Also, when checking for frogs or snakes, it's pretty easy to notice if the seat needs to be lowered.
@@ddebenedictis 😂🤣 Oh my goodness! I never thought of, or looked for, frogs! Lol I've always done a quick, fearful glance for rats and snakes! 😳😲🥺😫
Hey Jim Gaffigan don't you wish you were half as funny as Jeff Allen
Man I've been a fan of you since i starred making changes in my life 3 years ago. Love your comedy lol and dang look at that beautiful hair 😆
I raised 3 boy's so I expect the toilet seat to be up. I don't even say anything about it. It doesn't bother me.
I'm afraid they're going to be in trouble when they get married 😄
Oh no someone is going to be in trouble. My boys knew to put yhe seat down. It's my brother in law who hasn't grasped the concept after being married to my sister for 18 years. I spent the night at her house and at 2 AM in the morning I hit cold water and was already releasing so there was nothing to do but hold the rim of the toilet bowl and think fire should strike my brother in law. I was furious.
I was raised with 3 sisters & a mother. I was trained at an early age to put the seat & lid down. Still do it.
@@carlaaustin7223 everyone has to accommodate you eh?
@@carlaaustin7223 talk about being an entitled karen, you think u can go to ur brother-in-law's house and dictate to him how he can use his washrooms? bish plz LOL.
Yeah...being thoughtful, loving and kind is just too easy and shallow. As many would agree, we learn far more from our mistakes!🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐌🐛🦋
Jeff is something else with his comedy
He's so funny.
Words of wisdom
Most of the time I leave it down, but from time to time I do the opposite and leave it up. Then at night, she goes in half asleep and almost falls into the toilet (expecting the seat to be down)...I can tell because she screams. Admittedly I've almost fallen in a few times myself, but it's totally worth it
As an engineer, the answer to the toilet seat dilemma is simple. Leave it however it was last used. It is unknown if the NEXT use will require up or down. If it requires the same state, then the toilet seat will not have to be raised or lowered. This saves time when those probabilities occur and there is less wear and tear on the hinges.
Relatable!
I like this guy. First saw him on drybar....wow, same material for 30 years. I don't know if I should applaude timeless humour, or say dude, get new material. Lol
If she thanks you for leaving the seat down, don't let her know you really do it for the cat.
Splash! Splash! Always wakes me up!
Good stuff!!
Turn the lights on ladies, problem solved.
I'm a woman... and even I can't deny it 😂
Thank you
Modern day hermann munster.
Lol...You are right.
LOL i can't unsee that now =))
Why do I leave the seat up?
I paid the mortgage...it’s my toilet seat!😎
I never got why it was perfectly fine for a man to have to pick the seat up but it's awful for a woman to have to put it down.
Yepper 11 The lid should be put down every time. Otherwise bacteria sprays all over. Yup, your toothbrush is being sprayed with fecal matter.
@@always_b_natural703 Your toothbrush is covered with it either way. Didn't you ever watch mythbusters? If you have indoor plumbing, there is fecal matter throughout your home, no matter what you do with the toilet seat. It's a fact of life.
Grew up with Dad and four brothers so got used the ..check first! No 9ne died or had a coniption. Common sense solves everything.
@@always_b_natural703 If ur a hypochondriac afraid of germs, then you are gonna have a bad time cuz bacteria is everywhere...and we have bacteria living inside us in a symbiotic relationship. Its called the microbiome and without it you will die. Chill the fk out.
I enjoy his humor. Toilet seat is a crucial step in our house. I set in toilet water someone is in trouble.
That's why I installed a back up camera on my wife.
u sit in toilet water, only u r in trouble karen.
I prefer the toilet seat up that way I don’t have to sit down on a peed on toilet seat!
The back in to the toilet seat was Sinbad jk
That's why I'm single.
This video is the youngest I've seen him in.
Always an old argument, so before we sit in a public bathroom men/woman don't we check before we sit ?
🤣🤣🤣 what year is this?
🤣😅😂😅🤣😅
If she really loved you she would put the seat up when she is finished.
Nice funny
Because you dribble down your legs look!!
It’s a good idea to not only keep the seat down, but keep the lid down. Why? Why do you think. Here’s a hint. It’s a good idea to clean and disinfect the whole toilet. Especially if you’re living with other people.
Sooooooo true and im a woman! Hilarious!!!
Reminds me of my drinkn days. Every few years I'd visit my folks small hometown. Once I went in the little bar and someone had gotten cute with the bathroom gender assignment signs. (This was way before gender reassignment). I had forgotten which door was which. One said "pointers" and the other said "sitters". Well I've been drinking so I'm lil confused. I looked at "pointers" and I thought of a well developed woman so I stupidly went into "sitters". And left the seat up. So local gal shortly later comes out of there screaming "WHO IS THE M" THERF*^%'# WHO LEFT THE DAM SEAT UUUUUUP !!!" One lady laughingly yelled back WADADJA DO.....FALL IN ?!! HA HA HA " And she yelled back YAAA I FELL IN !!! The place fell out
At least Jeff Allen's wife knows he makes fun of her. Plenty of married people make fun of or complain about their spouses to coworkers and friends and then feed only positive tripe to their spouse when they are face to face. At least, that's what my ex wife did.
Never settle for anything less than a kind woman. An unkind woman will make your life miserable and an ok woman is not worth the effort
I leave the seat up because im not a slave to my wife. And if she is incapable of putting it down, i will teach her
Dave BB : Wow, dude. Do you beat your chest, and drag your knuckles when you walk?
Little things like this grow, swell up and fester inside one. Arguments then arise, again and again. Then you don’t talk to one another. No sex. Not condoning it, guys cheat on their wives. Nothing to laugh about here. 🙁
Women must not have sense enough to LOOK at the toilet seat. Is it pitch black in your bathroom?
jeff needs new material. same jokes hes had 20 years later
jim mcdonald , Maybe so but he is so cute who really cares! And as he aged along with his jokes ,he is so lovable doing his little skits ! Tammy you did good ! ( his wife is Tammy )
Because you're a guy
Yeah, I don't get it...just close the lid when you are done. That's why there's a lid.
Are you trying to keep the contents fresh? What are you storing in there? Why does it need a lid?
@@Spirantizer I'm trying to keep my bathroom fresh. Close the lid.
Right because a toilet lid works like Tupperware
@@kevinvitale8980 why are you looking for reasons to leave your toilet lid up?
@@aliceshaw8265, closing the lid minimizes spray from the flush. And if you leave your toothbrush in a cup on the sink, think about it next time you flush with the lid up, and then turn around to brush your teeth
iron skillet will solve the problem
Renee Men are just little boys in big bodies ! Rather than an iron skillet 🍳 try psychologically ! Plant the seed idea in his mind ,sit back in time he will think 🤔 he thought of it himself ! Eve our Queen Mother knew this when She asked Adam “Sweetheart do you think those pretty Apples 🍎 are edible ? The seed was planted ,Adam had to “Think on it “ (for a week or so ) Then He said “ yah ! But Not the green ones “ Eve smiled and stirred up the Apple 🍎 sauce ! GOD SAID TO EVE YOU ARE GOOD ! Eve replies “It’s just something I thought of while peeling the Apples “ “I call it PSYCHOLOGICAL MIND CONTROL “ POPS ! God my little girl
Maybe, but who wants to pee in an iron skillet?
And then people wonder why millennials aren’t getting married.. cause their smarter than we where at that age ..that’s why! 😂
I'm not a fan of someone that belittles his wife. I'm sure he's a joy to live with.
That’s what makes him a little difficult to watch. He was terrible to his wife and his kids and then he makes jokes about their behavior. I don’t watch videos about his kids because it looks like the only reason they were so disrespectful was because they learned it from him.
men, leave the seat down when you are through, women, leave it up when you are through. simple solution!
His teeth are terrible
His teeth are fine.
My guess is you’re American?
He’s not funny at all