Dr Fox has no idea how many hearts he's touched, how many lives he's saved and how his knowledge brightens the lives of so many ❤️ thank you for offering hope to one of the most stigmatised groups within our ableist society
I CAME TO MAKE THIS SAME COMMENT!! I’ve known something was wrong for decades at this point and keep getting meds for depression and bipolar conversations but I have never been manic. He has allowed me to exhale and be a little kinder to myself. Tysm Dr.Fox
Your videos have saved my life, before I got diagnosed about 2 years with BPD, PTSD, and major depressive disorder. I happen to stumble across you channel and light bulbs went off, finally felt like I wasn't alone and there is hope. Very ironic that your name is Daniel Fox as well lol. Your are awesome sir. And a life saver.
Hey Danny can I ask you for some advice about bpd i deal with all 4 types They fluctuate during certain triggers and I was curious about your opinion on me someone with bpd training jiu jitsu a very rough sport where you spar and if I lose my self value just shoots down lately do you think it’s not a healthy thing for someone with bpd to put themself into ?
I completely agree. He has really helped me. It’s amazing when you hear others with BPD relating to your experience, but it is a whole other level of awesome that there are professionals like Dr. Fox who believe in us and want to help us.
Yes, whatever they do is done purposefully but not intentionally. But my estranged husband never had apologized in 25 yrs. He'll buy stuff to show he's sorry
BPD is caused by our traumatized mothers, over generations, that is why it's both genetic and environmental. Every generation of woman in my family could prove this lol. On a spiritual level, and understanding trauma, as the cause behind it all, I feel as though this has created a deep love in myself for myself and those who've hurt me/I've hurt, because of our shared illness. I truly appreciate you Dr. Fox! You have given me so much hope and validation. Thank you
Yes my x wife lock my children in closet and beat them but as the courts say she is the mother 😢she rides on the tails of the good mommy 😢court system not smart 😢😢😢
I found out my significant other had BPD about a year ago thanks to your videos along with dr grande and dr Ramani. She has been in DBT for 9 months and there is improvement in her emotional and behavior disregulation along with understand what’s happening inside her and being more aware. If it wasn’t for you dr fox none of this would have happened or Atleast it would have happened much later. Thank you u r greatly appreciated.
I am only at the 23 minute mark and I am thrilled. Dr. Fox is the answer to BPD. I went to multiple therapists who never told me what was wrong with me. I finally had a very hateful woman diagnose me. I quit going there, but my mind clicked at that moment, and I realized it was on me to fix myself; there was no magic pill. Dr. Fox shows that individuals with BPD are real humans with real feelings. I have watched other videos talking about BPD by others and they make BPD individuals sound crazy and we are not. It is something that we suffer with but we want to be better. Living with BPD impacts every aspect of your life. We want to be happy just like everyone else.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's amazing how online resources like my videos can make such a positive impact on people's lives. I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
I agree with you 1 million percent!! Other so called experts talk down on people with BPD, and basically tell me and others " if umeet someone who has BPD, don't walk, run away. That's terrible. Thanks so much for giving these amazing people the love and respect they so deserve.
Borderline is often compared with narcissist personality disorder, because of many same characteristics and the destructive effect it can have on partners and other people. My thoughts about this are these: NPD is stabilized: it contains a pathological mindset. A narcissist always projects his own assumed weaknesses and responsibility to other people to avoid everything which confronts them to their true identity. Borderline is all about instability. Someone with BPD can hurt other people in a similar way as someone with NPD, such as projection, gaslighting, ghosting, etc. However eventually he or she becomes aware such behaviour is harmful to other people and it's also unrealistic to keep believing all their problems should be blamed to other people. Then someone with borderline tries to figure out what the reality actually is and is ready to take responsibility for his or her own mistakes. However because of the splitted way of thinking he/she believes everything is all his/her fault and becomes too much overwelmed by guilt and feeling a bad person. He/she probably knows already the reality is not black or white, but doesn't manage to find confirmation somewhere in the gray area. The thoughts are very ambivalent, shifting from the one extreme to the other. This confirms their fear: "I have no control over myself. I need someone to take care of me. Not because I believe I'm priviledged to demand it from others, but because it's my only chance for survival." And then the story keeps repeating itself. Another thing. People with BPD often get heard they compare themselves too much with others and they should stop doing so and start accepting and loving their own personality. At least I've heard that at least a million times. Eventually I figured out myself I wasn't comparing myself to others to make myself feeling miserable. I was reflecting. I wanted to know how other people live their life and to become inspired by them. I've never experienced this as a bad thing and eventually I decided not to listen anymore to such advises. Despite my BPD it became more clear to me I am not crazy and I can trust my own perception for making wise decisions. The hurt is still very much present and it's hard to bare all my negative emotions. But I know my mental strength will increase when I take my own responsibilities instead of surrendering myself to the belief I'm powerless. Also I've learned I can prevent a lot of problems when I pay attention to my communication with other people: verifying they understand me and I understand them.
Can you help me ? Should someone like me with all the problems you said be involved in a sport like jiu jitsu ? A little back story I started training to protect my self and loved ones and I sucked! But my quite hard working type helped me grow really fast and beat a lot of people in class and that turned me to type 2 where if I didn’t get my way if I didn’t win I’d be so upset and wanna quit because I felt entitled to beat someone I thought was smaller or less experienced after a while I turned to type 3 where now I’m starting to lash out and be mean to my loved ones and now I’m type 4 depressed and just done with it all because my self worth can be so easily taken away from me my question is do you think I’m setting my self up for the triggers to bring out my bpd ? I know it’s like just push though everyone loses just do your best but when you get a ego and become Narcissistic it’s like talking to a brick wall and I don’t know what to do
@@Jitsroll Sports like jiu-jitsu or kickboxing can help very much to regulate your emotions. I experienced myself it can happen emotions can be triggered. The point is by practicing sports like that you train yourself as well to stay focussed. If you think too much by what you're doing you'll loose focus and you'll loose hold during the fight. So practising sports like that can really help with your personal and emotional development. It can happen at any time anywhere something or someone triggers some nasty emotions you don't want to feel. The point with BPD is you immediatly associate that with losing hold on yourself, so people with BPD react on that with certain destructive behaviour, because they hope that makes the pain go away as fast as possible. And it does ... and then they'll realise the amount of destruction caused by their behaviour. And by keep turning back on the destructive behaviour pattern the borderline symptoms stay too much present in your life, maintaining you feel guilty towards everybody who gets involved into it and it also maintains your self-loathing. Everybody no matter if they have BPD or not has to learn regulating their emotions. With BPD that can be a very long-lasting process including many disappointments. However eventually you'll notice you'll get wiser and you find out how to deal with certain situations.
I used to work in inpatient psych. The things I heard coworkers say about BPD was awful… “manipulative, attention seeking, dramatic, etc.” This kind of thinking is what keeps people with BPD from getting better. Once I was able to connect my experiences with a BPD diagnosis, I was able to use DBT to treat it. You can’t fix something if you don’t know what it is. It’s not a scary diagnosis. It’s scary when you don’t know what it is!
I was in day hospital..and the patronising I had to endure was unbelievable.. In an Art therapy class... (spoken like I was 4 )"Did you draw that?" .. Yes I have an Art degree. .. In a games class "How did you know that" ( because its a simple question and I.m not stupid) They then proceeded to call me by the wrong name for 3 days.. So I wrote my name on a sticker and stuck it to my chest.. They then labelled me as a troublemaker.. I have 0 respect for the mental health system in the UK. I tried for many yrs to be heard.. They made me so infuriated ..it almost led to my death... If the spent more time listening instead of micky mouse c*rap .. like baking buns or playing badminton.. or planting some plants .. People wouldn't be so messed up.
but thats exactly how pwbpd are... whether they realize it or not, but they are like this... and are responsible for how they treat others. Until they get significant treatment these kind of things will manifest. DBT does not cure.. it only manages symptoms... it does not treat the original trauma that caused bpd another type of treatment process would need to be implemented for that.
people with bpd can present manipulative traits due to triggers, but they are NOT inherently manipulative. like the original commenter said, it's incredibly important to know about it and recognize what you're doing if you want to change. also, DBT manages symptoms, but those symptoms being managed leads to a better life for the person :)
I am 59 years old and still deal with BPD. I am a Quiet Borderline. As soon as there is stress I go off the rails. It can be a rollercoaster of anxiety and depression. Sadly for many of us, we can not afford therapy and with BPD you will need long-term psychotherapy. The worse is the "empty" feeling and not knowing who you are. This often brings on the looping thoughts of this is a waste of a life. I live in a cocoon because I feel safe but it's not a life.
Same here, Cathy. I wish we could form a community to just meet, connect and exchange notes. I think it will help in a big way. I am approaching my 50s, and am at that stage where I am more self aware and able to turn myself around from an 'episode' much quicker, sometimes within hours, than what I did in the past. It's the relationships I damage even in the short time frame is what concerns me more. These are people I truly care about.
I definitely understand the like and need to feel invisible sometimes. Feeling invisible can help the anxiety but also it pushes responsibilities far away, like you're in your own world with no rush. I feel like people enjoy the feeling of invisibility due to having to walk on egg shells and/or was an escape goat at one point in their lives. (I do say with experience)
The mass majority of Ireland 🇮🇪 has little resources for me with my bpd and comorbid mental health conditions; this is very unfair and actually wrong cause we have been classified as the invisible... dr fox helps me with the regular supply of bpd resources so I’m very thankful for this RUclips channel in particular. Applause 👏 for Dr Fox!
Hi Michelle Yes l too am from Ireland and the support network for BPD here is sadly dismal. Peer support and discussion is one of the best ways to help ease some of the symptoms because at least there is understanding there. I don't know if there is anyway to get in contact with you even just to have a chat. Very best wishes from Mary
@@favouritemusic8959 Thanks Mary, I don’t have access to peer support for bpd in particular or any discussion groups for this mental health disorder... might you recommend a link or website I could visit for more information and the details I’ve been looking for and need? Thanks again Mary, Regards Michelle
I'm in USA 🇺🇸 & cannot afford therapy. I'm not far enough under the poverty line. I don't know why I argue with everyone & always take the losing side.
Thank you for specializing in BPD. My daughter suffers from this and it's a hurricane of emotions that most don't understand. I have hope that my daughter can have relief from this monster inside her. It's been 11+ years and I still have hope and will never give up on her seeing the other side. I know she'll get better she just needs the right treatment.
It is not a monster inside her. It is pain from trauma. She is likely feeling very sensitively, too. There are a lot more things to that than people think. And no, "treatment" is not always the right thing. Always remember that love and living in alignment with the laws of love on a mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, relational level create health and when we live out of alignment with them our body-mind reacts absolutely perfect with "ouch" and is expressing both a trial to solve the issue and a need at once. When your daughter for example - if she does it - harms herself - it is essentially an expression of inner pain (often around internalized shame, unworthiness, lack derived from introjects throough passed down conditioning), a trial to solve this pain (often a trial to soothe herself). If you demonize this behavior you cannot listen to the message it carries, you cannot validate it and this you cannot accept and love. Only from love though change comes - when it is not needed. We all want to be unconditionally loved since we all are unconditional love. That´s the master key.
@@butterfly4537hey I really like your comment and realised it is fairly new compared to this video. Talking about self harm. My girlfriend has done it a lot in the past week and I don’t know the best way to either compose her or bring up the fact that she doesn’t need to hurt herself and it’s bad, could you offer me any advice
@@butterfly4537 thanks for your response. I’ve been trying to encourage my girl to start therapy. Would u recommend the best way to do it without making her feel uncomfortable
You are a lifesaver. So many of us struggle to find resources around us regardless of financial situation. And these videos and also his book are my hope to be able to get better. I sincerely thank you.
I agree. I have provided his info to others to better themselves. No matter what our issues or the severity. Dr. Fox has the empathy and skills to help.
You give me so much hope that i can get better and have a good life. Thank you so so much for all the videos and all the work you do for PwBPD and other personality disorders. Really really appreciate it xxx
I really appreciate the perspective this doctor takes. It is one of hope and constructive tools. Dr Ramani, on the contrary, speaks of people with BPD as condemned demons. Her videos refer to people with BPD as “they,” in sweeping and damaging generalizations. It feels as if she’s taking some sort of pleasure in it and that her channel exists to entertain at the expense of those suffering with BPD. I turned to RUclips to begin dealing with my triggers so that I can be a more loving and compassionate partner, and her videos left me feeling hopeless. I have used Dr. Fox’s videos as a starting point to reframe my self-perfection, and have followed many of his strategies on my path toward improvement. I went from feeling like a lost cause to someone who is absolutely capable of (and worth) changing. It is definitely a work in progress but just that tiny bit of hope was all I needed to change my world.
Just want you to know that I purchased your workbook a few weeks ago (and one for my friend who also has BPD) and it has really been helping the both of us! We have discovered patterns and behaviours within ourselves that we never recognized were there until we got to doing the workbook. We aren't finished it yet, but I really look forward to completing it :) (I'm about half way through, I almost hate to finish it at this point, lol) Thank you so much for all you have done to help people with BPD. What was once seen as a incurable, hopeless mental disorder is now fully curable because of caring folks like yourself.
You are a light for the bpd community I can’t thank you enough for the information you kindly give trough this channel and your true dedication to the patients. Thank you dr fox
I love ALL of Dr Fox’s videos… he offers hope and an understanding of BPD. I’ve shared them with my counsellor and she also thinks he is great. Now if my doctor would watch… Thank you so much for the time you give to us. 💕
I listen to all your videos, youve helped me a lot. My last 5 years ive spent helping my wife, she suffers from bpd, ive learned so much, all what you talk i so deeply understand. I knew i will be exhausted, but her getting better is worth it. I have not much time for internet and id love to have your book to help us both. Thank you
From me, someone that just realized I'm all that but I'm much much more. Now I have a name for everything I did and I do, how I think how I act... realizing I'm not alone and want seek help (which I've already did around 3 months ago) get better, little by little and enjoy every victory in this matter. The greatest victory is exactly this... be aware, accept, giving a name and start the healing process. I know its not a 100% healing in the end but I know I can improve I can build new relationships I can love my self I will control my anger. I'm a survivor and it's not my fault.
I feel like my DBT therapist believed that myth of never mentioning BPD to the client. We never spoke of BPD by name, or even named symptoms, like splitting. And when I would do so, she seemed reluctant to agree that that was what I was experiencing, even though I am a diagnosed BPD sufferer. It was honestly quite frustrating.
No I am literally experiencing this same thing, and instead she decided to go with PTSD even though I have been so honest and real with my symptoms, not even sugar coating. Yet she hints that my mom had BPD and trying to "soften" the blow with me all the time. It's extremely invalidating.
After a couple of months, maybe five sessions my therapist gave me the name Marsha Linehan, said to look her up and then basically backed out of being my therapist. My Spidey senses caught the uncomfortable feeling that he was having. I think he just didn't want the hassle.
@@marthamryglod291 Not all therapists are able or qualified to help every client. Therapists are people and have limits too. It really might've been to your benefit!!
I feel like after 8 years, I’ve never been so proud and happy with myself. I had a lot of good therapist, but you truly open my eyes to this reality and offer a tribune 💜 I recommand you to everyone
I suspected I have BPD forever. I mentioned it to a friend who is therapist. She said " of course you don't have BPD. BPD is a HORROR, these people are AWFUL, a total MENACE. So you are fine." I remember it clearly. Never dared approaching it again. Until finally a qualified specialist diagnosed me, such a relief, I am waiting for my DBT to start soon. It is so uplifting to hear how dr Fox talks about it. Hearing a certified therapist calling BPD sufferers a menace to society effectively, basically prevented me from getting help and made me feel like trash.
The shell around black and white thinking has cracked. I am beginning to see the grey spectrum of relationships. There is a lot of space between complete disreguard and blood brothers. I never knew this. Thank you.
Mister, you don't know how much you've helped me hold on and also move on to a better place. I just want to say thank you so much for everything you do. I hope this reaches you and I wish the best for you, I'm just so thankful.
"An unlikeable person must have BPD" I'm laughing because it's so absurd but still a very real stigma. Be careful who you reach out to for therapy. Trust your gut and know that it does get better!
Finding a knowledgeable and kind therapist that accepts my health insurance where I live north of Seattle feels like mission impossible. If I present any current research or info about BPD to them then I'm labeled a hypochondriac. I alternate between feeling utterly hopeless and rage. Rage that medical professionals are so arrogant. I'm 58 and lived my whole life being told basically nothing except depression, depression, depression. I have been rotated through every single SSRI and SNRI there is for 30+ years with absolutely zero effect. It's really hard not to feel angry and resentful - like my life has been stolen from me because of incompetency, outdated and limited beliefs held by those who are supposed to help, "the medical professional knows all" etc. As a veterinarian who no longer works because of both mental and physical health disorders I find it inconceivable that fellow medical professional ca
Can be so arrogant. It's so easy to research issues online and find evidence based information but to do so makes you a hypochondriac in the eyes of some/many physicians
I agree that that's so frustrating. It's a shame that even with all the new research there is still so much misinformation and bias in the field. I was watching another psychologist on youtube the other day talk about people with BPD saying they don't really feel any empathy? Like really? How could she know that? I hope things are changing now as people understand the condition better. I hope you find someone helpful soon, but be proud of yourself in the meantime as it sounds like you've come a long way on your own. Good luck to you!
I just want to thank you, Dr Fox. I just watched the J...P... video claiming BPD is the female equivalent of antisocial pd. I'm feeling a bit down, then i listened to your hopeful video and my spirit lifted. Feel like hugging you
Thank you so much Dr Fox. This channel has been a tool to go to when I need it and your book....is amazing. You are such an empathetic person who really wants to help heal people. Thank you for all you do for us bpd people. You have made a difference in people's lives with your work. From the bottom of my heart, thank you ❤
1h of Dr Fox, I'm not ready for it! 😮 Wow great project, I'm not in my best today but definitely going to listen! So good that bpd is more and more told about all around the world. Here in France it's not that known yet (I have hope!). Have a nice weekend everyone! 👋
So pleased I found this as I was diagnosed around 2001 after being in and out mental hospital over about 12 to 18 month, I was 32!! I was just kinda left with the diagnosis and not much explanation apart from the fact they had missed it when seen as a child and I was probably quite clever! Wow....wtf..I also thought there was nothing could be done except anti depressants antipsychotics I've seen a few therapist over the years but a lot happened and always just stopped.I think my point is I'm 53 and had to navigate this on my own and forever, I stopped going out or even trying to have any relationships (I don't have kids) but maybe I should go and knock on those closed doors again I mean after 2020/1 anything is possible. Xx ❤️
I wish this channel was around twenty years ago! I just very recently learned about quiet BPD, (which I learned from this channel) and the description Dr. Fox gave had me crying. Ive spent most of my life trying to understand "what's wrong with me," and never sought help because I didn't know how to "narrow things down" into an explanation that made any sense. But hearing everything tied together and brought under one construct, it was no wonder I had the reaction to this information that I did. If possible, Dr. Fox, can you do a video or two about people who are just learning about this disorder closer to middle age? I feel this is an important group of people that kind of unintentionally get "skipped over," because the general thought is that if we've made it this far, then we must be ok. NOT. 😳 Sometimes, you've only made it this far because there's only one alternative. Like myself, you might just be here all these years later, JUST NOW truly understanding why you've lived certain ways all your life, why you're now divorced, why you've maybe stayed at a mundane job forever, and why you're still angry with life and yourself. Having a few videos specifically for this age-group would be more helpful and useful than you could ever know.
This is so important! Yes, please make a video to address those who have just reached a diagnosis after decades. The common misconception is that either a BPD diagnosis is pretty much a death sentence or that it most likely subsides or lessens with age. So many of us have not become conscious of it until later in life because we have not received a proper diagnosis and subsequent treatment. Just because we have maintained jobs or we haven't been hospitalized doesn't mean we haven't suffered for our entire lives. If someone is unaware of their unconscious motivations and triggers, they can wake up one day with a diagnosis and subsequent insight but a feeling that it's hopeless because so much time has been wasted :(
Dr. Fox it's been a long time since I last watched your videos. Nonetheless I'm delighted to see more accomplishments and id like to congratulate you. You really have touched many peoples hearts and changed lives. Lord bless you.
I truly do not know what I would do without Dr. Fox's help. His knowledge is so useful and I'm finally beginning to be much kinder to myself. I don't feel so hopeless anymore. Thank you Dr Fox, endlessly.
Learning I have traits was the beginning for me. I feel for those with the full disorder. I'm not overly disruptive because I'm a loner but always felt too unstable for relationships. I have always been employed and self employed and not prone to getting fired, but I see everyone as a potential threat and play the victim all the time. I see teasing out my destructive traits like working the matts out of a dog's coat. Very slow delicate work and a huge job ! Plus I experiment with my interactions with other humans to bring out the best and bite my tongue and wait out my paranoid and reactive impulses. Thank you Dr. Fox your lovely demeanor is very soothing to the soul !
I gave up on relationships about 15 years ago and have secluded since. I always think that the seclusion is more harmful to the illness. It doesn't give us the chance to practice and makes it easier for this thing to flourish and consume. What you think?
This was great! Thank you so much for spreading good info, Dr. Fox! Professionals need education as much as anyone else and more in my opinion considering the stigma we have to live under was actually created by them. It's great hearing a professional actually understand what they are talking about for a change.
So how do we get those who are supposed to help us informed? The great resources like Dr Fox that I've found on my own and have shared with the 3 providers I currently see has only educated my talk therapist. She used to treat "the prototypical" BODs in Illinois at a state run facility. She described those individuals as severely affected with severe cutting, multiple Suicide attempts, inability to hold a job and thus needing assistance, etc. She didn't know that there are many different expressions of BPD. I had to keep sending her informative articles. Luckily she has an open mind and sees clearance who I am and how I suffer. How do we get the misinformation overwritten with facts and truth.
@@kimtaylor9492 Doing exactly what you are doing, Kim. It's awesome you are educating yourself, advocating for yourself and other BPD sufferers. There is a huge shift happening in the education about BPD. It's encouraging and still discouraging at times but the information is getting better and that is the key to helping people. You're helping by educating your therapist so the next BPD sufferer who walks in their office will get better treatment. So you are already helping and thank you!
please please please please please please PLEASE do a video on holding a job and why its so terrifyingly hard for me to go to work and hold a job. I know im not the only one struggling with this, but personally ive found my dream job and i can't let myself lose this job yet all i can do lately is focus on how scared i am to lose this job and it's just making work so hard even though im great at it.
I had tp retire age 26 I had my dream job working in an animal rescue centre I loved it but my coworkers made it unbearable I sabotaged myself to be fired and was drinking heavily and it led to taking hard drugs which I've been battling for 16yrs I cldnt imagine if I had to be declared fit for work I'm on disability
My very first diagnosis just over 30 years ago was social phobia, which I began to overcome after facing some of my fears in group therapy. I knew the moment I turned the corner, and so did everyone else in the group. I went 30 years before getting another diagnosis, which was CPTSD. Any insight I've gotten in those 30 years was done on my own steam, while therapists would say "I don't know", but finally getting that CPTSD diagnosis was when the world opened up to understanding myself. I am a truth seeker though, and that still wasn't enough. My current therapist resisted the discussion too. She even asked me if I wanted a label. I was able to tell her what a negative experience it was to receive such an unsupportive and closed ended question and that it didn't help me in moving forward. I have been continuing my search to understand, and discovered mixed personality disorder. I don't fit neatly into one box. I have features of avoidant, borderline and narcissistic personality disorder and now it finally makes sense. My therapist seems to agree and finally talked with me bit about it. Knowledge is power and I'm closer to a sense of peace than ever before.
Thank you so so much for your insights and understanding of BPD! I have been diagnosed with BPD at least 20 years. I thought BPD meant BiPolarDisorder. I only discovered that I was wrong and actually had BPD. I was devastated! I had no idea this was a thing, let alone that BPD is a totally different than my prior beliefs . When I started to research this disorder, the description was very negative and made me feel so much worse than before that. It’s known for being a real nutter. And to stay away from people with this disorder. Even compared to narcissism and anti social disorder. I was worse than I ever thought and felt so much more depressed and hopeless than ever. I’m still coming to terms with this but your words really comforting to me. And all your content on your channel is very informative and so helpful. It makes sense to me now. And at least I know I can work to someday overcome my traits and become a better person and actually have a friend! :)
Don't give up Sandra.You deserve a good life. There is a better life ahead for you.Just take it one day at a time. Your unhappiness made me weep. I don't know why it touched me so deeply.
The fear abandonment issue of BPD fade over decades. Because you become “abandoned “ but you realize it’s not fatal, and in most cases is actually a blessing. PS: The shame fades too. What lingers is underlying mood issues and anxiety depression issues. Also, it has helped my attitude to have discovered the truth about Jesus and how he wants us to live. It gives me a reason to be nicer to people
God bless you in your walk with Jesus who will never abandon you, or anyone who puts their trust in him. I too find that knowing how we are supposed to behave, and trying to live up to Jesus's standard is so helpful. Also knowing that when we fail to live up to it we can repent and be forgiven and do better next time! Thank you for sharing.
I was diagnosed by counselors and psychiatrists at age 14 inside an inpatient facility. They looked at my records, talked to my parents and evaluated the incidents that led to me being admitted ( prior cutting for 2 years starting at age 12 and subsequent attempt to cut wrists after being caught in attempt to sneak out and run away with a 24 year old guy in the air force that i had met online and told that i was 19) and they had read all my personal journals and diaries that my mother found and read and then brought to the facility. After they reviewed all that, they told me i was very obviously a borderline and that it was ok to diagnose me because it was just glaringly obvious to them that i was the most borderline kid they had ever seen. But they weren't interested in what caused such a typical pathology to manifest in my in only 14 years, only in exposing my most personal writings to the groups and staff and complimenting me about my writing ability. One counselor even told me and a few other kids that we were doing abuse to ourselves as compared to some others that had been abused outright and raped by their parents, as if we were a joke that didn't belong there. They may have been correct about me having bpd, but they didn't know shit about treating it or understanding how much pain i was in 24/7. I had parents that acted as if i didn't exist, and my actual father literally did deny i existed and never came near me from birth. My mother and her husband cared only about money and eachother, but i didn't realize this back then. My mind couldn't face the truth that they just didn't want me, so i believed it when the world told me i had great parents and a great life because nobody raped me and they were wealthy. It took decades for my own brain to let me see the truth, that i was naturally disabled by social anxiety from birth anyway, and then my mother married a rich man that never acknowledged my existence and i was terrified of him as a looming presence in my home 24/7. She started ignoring me too after a while, and i was the only child anywhere around with no friends whatsoever.
"The suicidal idealation is the default." Me 20 minutes ago to my coworkers. "I wanna die. I dont want to go on. I wanna die. I'm so tired and sore and I just wanna die.c
I wish I could literally sit next to you right now to give you a big hug and to make us feel not alone. Please try to let this episode pass - sleep and listening to absolutely non serious programs on streaming services has helped me get thru these periods but I have to admit that at 58 these old coping mechanisms are becoming less and less effective.
Could it be dysthymia? I had this form of depression for seven years after my father stabbed my mother, seemingly in an attempt to kill her. He was an undiagnosed paranoid narcissist. The mental health profession failed to give him a diagnosis when he was in the hospital suffering from a stroke after we asked them to give him a psychological assessment. This was extremely upsetting but I did not recognize I should seek medical help for my death wish, not suicide.
I’m happy there is hope for me. I don’t have to be defined by BPD. It’s going to take work…I know that…unfortunately when things get hard I run instead of confront them. How much work I need to do is overwhelming at times.
The best clinical psychologist I have ever known Dr Fox you have excellent insights and very knowledgeable of BPD, admire your approaches really amazing videos keep up the outstanding work ur contribution is priceless in improving people's lives superb
I've been studying and practicing mindfulness and buddhist techniques to get rid of our default patterns--one is majhima nikaya sutta #19. 5 steps,-1. Replace unwholesome actions or thoughts with wholesome ones. 2. Examine the dangers to you or others of your actions or thoughts. 3. Ignore that's that are trivial 4.investigate the causes. 5. Use firm resolve to get rid of action or thought. I use these in meditation and in daily life. It just proves that you can get rid of unhealthy thoughts and actions.
I left a semi hopeful comment here five months ago now I like to leave, don't despair dr. Fox you're a good man and you have saved lives and I'll switch lives some people are just not meant to be in this world there are meant to make an appearance yes they're not meant to stay I wanted those people I'm a 50 year old teen boy
Finally some one dedicating his time to help this notoriously difficult to understand and treat people who suffering from this Bizzare disorder which is more wide speed in modern era them we thinks Hatts off for u Doc
Dr. Fox, you are soooo humble and knowledgeable!!! You are one of a kind… you’ve helped me so much! I’m excited to start reading your book… Thank you for all your hard work!!! You are our doctor 🤍
Having BPD is really hard. It's harder when my husband and other family members don't believe me and won't even discover for themselves what it is. I feel so alone that they are not interested enough to see how much this disorder is hurting me and how much I need their support. Ever since I can remember I've had BPD. I am not in denial. I'm not making it up. It is a living hell of mental and emotional torment. I'm 76. I give up on ever getting better. And what scares me the most is that I become violent when the emotional pain is more than I can bear. I hate myself because I can't control the monster within. It never gets better, it only gets worse and more frequent. I was 73 before I was finally diagnosed with BPD, so I don't have a long history of anyone helping me with it. I've just got a long history of finger-pointing shame and guilt for being crazy. I don't even trust myself anymore. Thank you for your videos. They are comforting to me knowing that you care and want to help people like me.
I'm so sorry you had to go your whole life not knowing WHY you were treated differently than every person around us. It's been 49 years for me. I am 49 now. I have sympathy with you on your temper getting worse and it sucks because it's all the horrible treatment from others built up over time that have Made me to a point of Isolation because I just am to damn tired to keep TRYING not to piss someone off because im not "normal" No shit is what I say. I've been telling yall my whole life! And yall said I was lying attention seeking etc So wich is it!!?? It's horrible going through life knowing your gonna piss someone off some how some way , It's horrible knowing there's no way the rest of the population can feel like this. But people tell you yes everyone has depression, or we all have to control our temper you aren't special. Etc I'm sorry no one listened. I am now. I've been screaming to the top of my lungs that just listen to me so you know where I'm coming from, Trust me it's not easy I'm not CHOOSING this. I'm down to one close family member. And she's only reason I'm ok Or even here I'm just here to make sure I don't add any more hurt to her life. All I can do is tip toe and stay still or I'm gonna end up doing something "wrong" and go through all the Shame guilt etc.. And I honestly don't think I can any more. My heart feels weak. I can't imagine how your heart feels not knowing and fighting it 73 years. My God. You are amazing and I tell you You probably have every reason to want to be violent. People don't talk about how other people treat bpd People. Just in General. You never see others getting away with the crap people do to us. Then we have to control allllll that . To make sure you don't express how you feel. It's exhausting. Betrayal feels like death litterly to me. I know you get it. I'm glad you know for your own self. Stay OK. Be easy on you. ❤️
Emotional, behavioral, inter-personal, identity!,, Do stuff that increases the probability of positive outcomes! Love it. What is something small I can do now that will make me a little bit happier tomorrow?
Doctors need to come together and treat each person as an individual not a group. No two people are alike. I have therapy, counseling, medical, chiropractor, Psychiatrist and Natural path all working ❤ together to help me. It has made a huge difference in my life. Huge!
When I was young I was so impulsive but it helped me to succeed. It gave me the energy to complete multiple degrees, jobs, goals. After retirement.....lost confused, defeated, tormented, hurt, numb, exhausted and lack of desire to make more goals has left me in the petulant subtype. Acting and pretending is exhausting!!! I could write a book that would make your head spin.....then I move far away...to avoid getting hurt by family who think I am the one who inflicts pain. Maybe I am...
My 25 year old son has been diagnosed dyslexic aged 7 ADHD aged 13 BPD aged20 We now realise this is total BPD he has had psychosis since very young age so disbelieves this is his true diagnosis which is his most suffering symptom DrFox you have explained greatly that this is comorbid How common is this strength of psychosis Uk mum
Psychosis is usually short-term, maybe 4 hours max. There is usually a trigger. Best to get him assessed for psychotic disorder or others concerns, as he's in the window for initial symptom expression. Be well.
Oh wow, imagine if both people in a relationship had BPD! I have BPD and the 3 long term relationships I've had in my life have been with non-BPD people. However, one of my closest friends I met 2 years ago has BPD, CPTSD (as do I) and some other stuff. And interestingly, we have a very easy, understanding, patient friendship. I get insecure and "weird" with her sometimes, she explodes (not at me) and gets dysregulated and cries sometimes, but because we understand each other, see right through these coping mechanisms, triggers and reactions, we help each other and are really good together. A relationship with her might be very different though! So I think maybe if both people in a relationship had BPD, they might either explode and be very volatile and damaging, OR they might be quite balanced (mostly) like my friend I mentioned above. It also depends on HOW each person's BPD manifests (explosive anger, turning inward, self harm, etc) and also what other mental issues are present and how THEY manifest (depression, anxiety, CPTSD, OCD, ADHD, and so on).
I believe self awareness is key! Understanding your behavior as well as the other person’s behavior (they may act out differently than you). And they understand yours.
Dr. Fox could you do a video on BPD and Autism overlaps and comorbidity? Im diagnosed BPD and others in my family are on the autistic spectrum and i get confused when it comes to understanding why the diagnoses' are different when the symptoms are so similar. As always thank you for your videos and books.
I’ve been learning a lot about BPD since I’ve been diagnosed a couple months ago, you made a huge impact on my learning and it made me hopeful that one day I will recover. You mention genetics being a part of BPD, is it possible to make a video dedicated to this topic?
I think it's kind of bittersweet finding such a good doctor, but not actually being able to become his patient. I mean, I'm grateful for the videos, I am. But, I'm not able to find therapist like him in my area.
my late husband was bad due to horrific circumstances as small child. He was very kind-hearted..then all of a sudden he got a tantrum/ epileptic fit type of attack. it was scary. Fortunately the children never saw it. around the age of 58 you he became psychotic. I took him to 3 specialists...not one could find anything physically wrong with him. He died of a heart attack aged 62. due to severe pericarditis
Thank you, Dr. Fox. I'm searching for a new mental health provider for some of the myths you've listed. Can you give advice on how to find a provider that is qualified/willing to treat?
Dr Fox your videos have been great, they are helping me massively, I’ve bought your books which myself and my partner are doing together, I’m a quiet Bpd I wreck all relationships but my partner I’m with now is amazing, I’ve found Jesus who helps me massively too 🙏 thank you again for all your videos 🙏
BPD is fear based disorder and is overcome through exposure to the thing that one fears, which is abandonment from the ones that they care about. A lot of the time this abandonment drama comes from actual abandonment in the past so it’s not even required to have a new abandonment to overcome the wounds. You just need proper therapy to recontextualize what you went through and understand that certain people leaving your life is a blessing.
What he said about looking if up to see if you think you may have it is exactly what i done and when approaching my addiction support worker i was met with a scoff at why did i think that and don't you think we wldve picked up on it i was undiagnosed there for 8yrs the other 8 was a whirlwind of traumatic interactions i had maybe three workers who were actually caring and good at their job the rest i feel were narcissistic even the psychiatrist was arrogant towards me threatening to take me off the methadone if i continued to use heroin which categorically does not happen ever when it's lining the pockets of everyone involved i left the addiction centre 2 yrs ago im now without any help or support bc i use heroin I'm weaning myself off it and came off the handcuffs that is methadone myself i dont need "help" like that it caused me more trauma than helped me i do think i have medical ptsd bc of it all
I was 16 when I first started showing signs of emotional instability, occasional outbursts of anger and frustration, as well as lying to get sympathy from friends. I was 17 when I first self harmed and from age 17 to 27 I was the most "explosive" in terms of temper tantrums and abusive outbursts, as well as self harm tendencies. I didn't even know I felt empty and bored on a deep level until last year. I now see that was always present, but was appeased when I was in a relationship and feeling "in love" with someone. That someone was the only person I would explode at and show all my private emotions to. I feel like my choice is (a) I'm in a relationship and very unstable, or (b) I'm not in a relationship and am terminally bored, depressed and empty. I've had anxiety since age 4 and depression since about age 30. I also have Complex PTSD and mild OCD. I'm 42 now.
The work you’re doing Dr fox, is priceless! Your videos gave me hope. I was wondering, do you have any information or insight on co-morbidity with maladaptive daydreaming?
Dr. Fox, in hindsight, I had clear BPD traits at 14 around the time of my first hospitalization. Traits were preceded by attachment disorder. The misdiagnosis lead to ineffective polypharm (20+ pills a day) without actually giving me any useful tools. Speaking to my adolescent social worker as an adult 28 years later, in retrospect, her goal was just to keep me alive and I was full blown unfiltered BPD by 16 which eventually resolved to a manageable level by 25. NEA BPD has a talk online about adolescent BPD by Dr Aguirre from Mclean hospital that tells much of my story.
Dr Fox has no idea how many hearts he's touched, how many lives he's saved and how his knowledge brightens the lives of so many ❤️ thank you for offering hope to one of the most stigmatised groups within our ableist society
💜💜💜🙏🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜💜 YES🥰
I CAME TO MAKE THIS SAME COMMENT!! I’ve known something was wrong for decades at this point and keep getting meds for depression and bipolar conversations but I have never been manic. He has allowed me to exhale and be a little kinder to myself. Tysm Dr.Fox
What an excellent comment. Same goes for you!
I've been a shut in and when I tried to open up got labeled evil. I'm lonely as hell but this helps so much.
@@2002Squeakheart sending u love and light Christine
Your videos have saved my life, before I got diagnosed about 2 years with BPD, PTSD, and major depressive disorder. I happen to stumble across you channel and light bulbs went off, finally felt like I wasn't alone and there is hope. Very ironic that your name is Daniel Fox as well lol. Your are awesome sir. And a life saver.
Hey Danny can I ask you for some advice about bpd i deal with all 4 types They fluctuate during certain triggers and I was curious about your opinion on me someone with bpd training jiu jitsu a very rough sport where you spar and if I lose my self value just shoots down lately do you think it’s not a healthy thing for someone with bpd to put themself into ?
I completely agree. He has really helped me. It’s amazing when you hear others with BPD relating to your experience, but it is a whole other level of awesome that there are professionals like Dr. Fox who believe in us and want to help us.
(not ironic, coincidental)
Yes Dr. Fox you are appreciated. I can't find a decent Dr. to help with this. Ty for your videos they help
Same here, twin. Same here.
Go Dr Fox...I cried when you said that no BPD person wants to destroy the people they love intentionally..
Just fyi: He said the anti social will do it intentionally and the BPD does not.
❤ we love them however every little thing about them bother us it's crazy I hate this disease
Yes, whatever they do is done purposefully but not intentionally. But my estranged husband never had apologized in 25 yrs. He'll buy stuff to show he's sorry
BPD is caused by our traumatized mothers, over generations, that is why it's both genetic and environmental. Every generation of woman in my family could prove this lol. On a spiritual level, and understanding trauma, as the cause behind it all, I feel as though this has created a deep love in myself for myself and those who've hurt me/I've hurt, because of our shared illness. I truly appreciate you Dr. Fox! You have given me so much hope and validation. Thank you
Yes my x wife lock my children in closet and beat them but as the courts say she is the mother 😢she rides on the tails of the good mommy 😢court system not smart 😢😢😢
Only mothers and not fathers? Y'all fucking weirdass misogynists
I found out my significant other had BPD about a year ago thanks to your videos along with dr grande and dr Ramani. She has been in DBT for 9 months and there is improvement in her emotional and behavior disregulation along with understand what’s happening inside her and being more aware. If it wasn’t for you dr fox none of this would have happened or Atleast it would have happened much later. Thank you u r greatly appreciated.
hey. just curious. once you realized this, what was your approach in bringing this up to her?
yes, how did you bring it up?
How did you convince her to try therapy
I am only at the 23 minute mark and I am thrilled. Dr. Fox is the answer to BPD. I went to multiple therapists who never told me what was wrong with me. I finally had a very hateful woman diagnose me. I quit going there, but my mind clicked at that moment, and I realized it was on me to fix myself; there was no magic pill. Dr. Fox shows that individuals with BPD are real humans with real feelings. I have watched other videos talking about BPD by others and they make BPD individuals sound crazy and we are not. It is something that we suffer with but we want to be better. Living with BPD impacts every aspect of your life. We want to be happy just like everyone else.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's amazing how online resources like my videos can make such a positive impact on people's lives. I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
I agree with you 1 million percent!! Other so called experts talk down on people with BPD, and basically tell me and others " if umeet someone who has BPD, don't walk, run away. That's terrible. Thanks so much for giving these amazing people the love and respect they so deserve.
Thanks for showing these amazing people the love and respect they so deserve!!!
Borderline is often compared with narcissist personality disorder, because of many same characteristics and the destructive effect it can have on partners and other people.
My thoughts about this are these: NPD is stabilized: it contains a pathological mindset. A narcissist always projects his own assumed weaknesses and responsibility to other people to avoid everything which confronts them to their true identity.
Borderline is all about instability. Someone with BPD can hurt other people in a similar way as someone with NPD, such as projection, gaslighting, ghosting, etc. However eventually he or she becomes aware such behaviour is harmful to other people and it's also unrealistic to keep believing all their problems should be blamed to other people. Then someone with borderline tries to figure out what the reality actually is and is ready to take responsibility for his or her own mistakes. However because of the splitted way of thinking he/she believes everything is all his/her fault and becomes too much overwelmed by guilt and feeling a bad person. He/she probably knows already the reality is not black or white, but doesn't manage to find confirmation somewhere in the gray area. The thoughts are very ambivalent, shifting from the one extreme to the other. This confirms their fear: "I have no control over myself. I need someone to take care of me. Not because I believe I'm priviledged to demand it from others, but because it's my only chance for survival." And then the story keeps repeating itself.
Another thing. People with BPD often get heard they compare themselves too much with others and they should stop doing so and start accepting and loving their own personality. At least I've heard that at least a million times.
Eventually I figured out myself I wasn't comparing myself to others to make myself feeling miserable. I was reflecting. I wanted to know how other people live their life and to become inspired by them. I've never experienced this as a bad thing and eventually I decided not to listen anymore to such advises. Despite my BPD it became more clear to me I am not crazy and I can trust my own perception for making wise decisions.
The hurt is still very much present and it's hard to bare all my negative emotions. But I know my mental strength will increase when I take my own responsibilities instead of surrendering myself to the belief I'm powerless. Also I've learned I can prevent a lot of problems when I pay attention to my communication with other people: verifying they understand me and I understand them.
Can you help me ? Should someone like me with all the problems you said be involved in a sport like jiu jitsu ? A little back story I started training to protect my self and loved ones and I sucked! But my quite hard working type helped me grow really fast and beat a lot of people in class and that turned me to type 2 where if I didn’t get my way if I didn’t win I’d be so upset and wanna quit because I felt entitled to beat someone I thought was smaller or less experienced after a while I turned to type 3 where now I’m starting to lash out and be mean to my loved ones and now I’m type 4 depressed and just done with it all because my self worth can be so easily taken away from me my question is do you think I’m setting my self up for the triggers to bring out my bpd ? I know it’s like just push though everyone loses just do your best but when you get a ego and become Narcissistic it’s like talking to a brick wall and I don’t know what to do
This was an incredible and self aware statement- I resonate so much with what you have written. Thank you for sharing.
That perfectly articulated my recovery process so far, fantastic 👏
This is so nicely and well put! Thank you and i absolutely agree with you!
@@Jitsroll Sports like jiu-jitsu or kickboxing can help very much to regulate your emotions.
I experienced myself it can happen emotions can be triggered.
The point is by practicing sports like that you train yourself as well to stay focussed. If you think too much by what you're doing you'll loose focus and you'll loose hold during the fight.
So practising sports like that can really help with your personal and emotional development.
It can happen at any time anywhere something or someone triggers some nasty emotions you don't want to feel. The point with BPD is you immediatly associate that with losing hold on yourself, so people with BPD react on that with certain destructive behaviour, because they hope that makes the pain go away as fast as possible. And it does ... and then they'll realise the amount of destruction caused by their behaviour. And by keep turning back on the destructive behaviour pattern the borderline symptoms stay too much present in your life, maintaining you feel guilty towards everybody who gets involved into it and it also maintains your self-loathing.
Everybody no matter if they have BPD or not has to learn regulating their emotions. With BPD that can be a very long-lasting process including many disappointments. However eventually you'll notice you'll get wiser and you find out how to deal with certain situations.
I used to work in inpatient psych. The things I heard coworkers say about BPD was awful… “manipulative, attention seeking, dramatic, etc.” This kind of thinking is what keeps people with BPD from getting better. Once I was able to connect my experiences with a BPD diagnosis, I was able to use DBT to treat it. You can’t fix something if you don’t know what it is. It’s not a scary diagnosis. It’s scary when you don’t know what it is!
I was in day hospital..and the patronising I had to endure was unbelievable..
In an Art therapy class... (spoken like I was 4 )"Did you draw that?" ..
Yes I have an Art degree. ..
In a games class "How did you know that" ( because its a simple question and I.m not stupid)
They then proceeded to call me by the wrong name for 3 days..
So I wrote my name on a sticker and stuck it to my chest..
They then labelled me as a troublemaker..
I have 0 respect for the mental health system in the UK.
I tried for many yrs to be heard..
They made me so infuriated ..it almost led to my death...
If the spent more time listening instead of micky mouse c*rap .. like baking buns or playing badminton.. or planting some plants .. People wouldn't be so messed up.
but thats exactly how pwbpd are... whether they realize it or not, but they are like this...
and are responsible for how they treat others.
Until they get significant treatment these kind of things will manifest.
DBT does not cure.. it only manages symptoms...
it does not treat the original trauma that caused bpd
another type of treatment process would need to be implemented for that.
people with bpd can present manipulative traits due to triggers, but they are NOT inherently manipulative. like the original commenter said, it's incredibly important to know about it and recognize what you're doing if you want to change. also, DBT manages symptoms, but those symptoms being managed leads to a better life for the person :)
@@erxfav3197 this is why they tend to couple DBT with CBT and other theraphtic approaches.
Well... you can't say your coworkers were lying. Just a harsh word choice.
How wonderful! He holds the door open. We didn't even know there was a door.
I am 59 years old and still deal with BPD. I am a Quiet Borderline. As soon as there is stress I go off the rails. It can be a rollercoaster of anxiety and depression. Sadly for many of us, we can not afford therapy and with BPD you will need long-term psychotherapy. The worse is the "empty" feeling and not knowing who you are. This often brings on the looping thoughts of this is a waste of a life. I live in a cocoon because I feel safe but it's not a life.
Yes....I identify
Do you have any advice for others who are suffering from quiet BPD
Same here, Cathy. I wish we could form a community to just meet, connect and exchange notes. I think it will help in a big way. I am approaching my 50s, and am at that stage where I am more self aware and able to turn myself around from an 'episode' much quicker, sometimes within hours, than what I did in the past. It's the relationships I damage even in the short time frame is what concerns me more. These are people I truly care about.
just wanted to say thank you
I definitely understand the like and need to feel invisible sometimes. Feeling invisible can help the anxiety but also it pushes responsibilities far away, like you're in your own world with no rush. I feel like people enjoy the feeling of invisibility due to having to walk on egg shells and/or was an escape goat at one point in their lives. (I do say with experience)
Thanks for sharing.
The mass majority of Ireland 🇮🇪 has little resources for me with my bpd and comorbid mental health conditions; this is very unfair and actually wrong cause we have been classified as the invisible... dr fox helps me with the regular supply of bpd resources so I’m very thankful for this RUclips channel in particular. Applause 👏 for Dr Fox!
@@lipotrimloser yeah that’s a great suggestion I’d appreciate those links... thank you
Hi Michelle
Yes l too am from Ireland and the support network for BPD here is sadly dismal. Peer support and discussion is one of the best ways to help ease some of the symptoms because at least there is understanding there. I don't know if there is anyway to get in contact with you even just to have a chat. Very best wishes from Mary
@@favouritemusic8959 Thanks Mary, I don’t have access to peer support for bpd in particular or any discussion groups for this mental health disorder... might you recommend a link or website I could visit for more information and the details I’ve been looking for and need? Thanks again Mary, Regards Michelle
I'm in USA 🇺🇸 & cannot afford therapy. I'm not far enough under the poverty line.
I don't know why I argue with everyone & always take the losing side.
@@KateBates22zabu is the DBT available at a reduced cost due to your salary? I’m not sure where to look for information on supports for bpd
Thank you for specializing in BPD. My daughter suffers from this and it's a hurricane of emotions that most don't understand. I have hope that my daughter can have relief from this monster inside her. It's been 11+ years and I still have hope and will never give up on her seeing the other side. I know she'll get better she just needs the right treatment.
It is not a monster inside her.
It is pain from trauma.
She is likely feeling very sensitively, too.
There are a lot more things to that than people think.
And no, "treatment" is not always the right thing.
Always remember that love and living in alignment with the laws of love on a mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, relational level create health and when we live out of alignment with them our body-mind reacts absolutely perfect with "ouch" and is expressing both a trial to solve the issue and a need at once.
When your daughter for example - if she does it - harms herself - it is essentially an expression of inner pain (often around internalized shame, unworthiness, lack derived from introjects throough passed down conditioning), a trial to solve this pain (often a trial to soothe herself).
If you demonize this behavior you cannot listen to the message it carries, you cannot validate it and this you cannot accept and love. Only from love though change comes - when it is not needed.
We all want to be unconditionally loved since we all are unconditional love. That´s the master key.
@@butterfly4537hey I really like your comment and realised it is fairly new compared to this video. Talking about self harm. My girlfriend has done it a lot in the past week and I don’t know the best way to either compose her or bring up the fact that she doesn’t need to hurt herself and it’s bad, could you offer me any advice
@@alfieshanks6555 No, sorry.
That's a job of a therapist or trusted person.
I am neither.
All the best.
@@butterfly4537 thanks for your response. I’ve been trying to encourage my girl to start therapy. Would u recommend the best way to do it without making her feel uncomfortable
@@alfieshanks6555 as said, I am not available for private conversations.
Thanks in advance for respecting my boundary.
You are a lifesaver. So many of us struggle to find resources around us regardless of financial situation. And these videos and also his book are my hope to be able to get better. I sincerely thank you.
You’re very welcome and I’m glad that you found value in the video.
I agree. I have provided his info to others to better themselves. No matter what our issues or the severity. Dr. Fox has the empathy and skills to help.
You give me so much hope that i can get better and have a good life. Thank you so so much for all the videos and all the work you do for PwBPD and other personality disorders. Really really appreciate it xxx
I really appreciate the perspective this doctor takes. It is one of hope and constructive tools. Dr Ramani, on the contrary, speaks of people with BPD as condemned demons. Her videos refer to people with BPD as “they,” in sweeping and damaging generalizations. It feels as if she’s taking some sort of pleasure in it and that her channel exists to entertain at the expense of those suffering with BPD. I turned to RUclips to begin dealing with my triggers so that I can be a more loving and compassionate partner, and her videos left me feeling hopeless. I have used Dr. Fox’s videos as a starting point to reframe my self-perfection, and have followed many of his strategies on my path toward improvement. I went from feeling like a lost cause to someone who is absolutely capable of (and worth) changing. It is definitely a work in progress but just that tiny bit of hope was all I needed to change my world.
Just want you to know that I purchased your workbook a few weeks ago (and one for my friend who also has BPD) and it has really been helping the both of us!
We have discovered patterns and behaviours within ourselves that we never recognized were there until we got to doing the workbook. We aren't finished it yet, but I really look forward to completing it :) (I'm about half way through, I almost hate to finish it at this point, lol)
Thank you so much for all you have done to help people with BPD. What was once seen as a incurable, hopeless mental disorder is now fully curable because of caring folks like yourself.
You are a light for the bpd community I can’t thank you enough for the information you kindly give trough this channel and your true dedication to the patients. Thank you dr fox
I love ALL of Dr Fox’s videos… he offers hope and an understanding of BPD. I’ve shared them with my counsellor and she also thinks he is great. Now if my doctor would watch…
Thank you so much for the time you give to us. 💕
I listen to all your videos, youve helped me a lot. My last 5 years ive spent helping my wife, she suffers from bpd, ive learned so much, all what you talk i so deeply understand. I knew i will be exhausted, but her getting better is worth it. I have not much time for internet and id love to have your book to help us both. Thank you
From me, someone that just realized I'm all that but I'm much much more. Now I have a name for everything I did and I do, how I think how I act... realizing I'm not alone and want seek help (which I've already did around 3 months ago) get better, little by little and enjoy every victory in this matter. The greatest victory is exactly this... be aware, accept, giving a name and start the healing process. I know its not a 100% healing in the end but I know I can improve I can build new relationships I can love my self I will control my anger. I'm a survivor and it's not my fault.
I feel like my DBT therapist believed that myth of never mentioning BPD to the client. We never spoke of BPD by name, or even named symptoms, like splitting. And when I would do so, she seemed reluctant to agree that that was what I was experiencing, even though I am a diagnosed BPD sufferer. It was honestly quite frustrating.
weird.. I would have thought it would be the reverse.. that they would be wanting to talk about it but the person wbpd would get too triggered.
No I am literally experiencing this same thing, and instead she decided to go with PTSD even though I have been so honest and real with my symptoms, not even sugar coating. Yet she hints that my mom had BPD and trying to "soften" the blow with me all the time. It's extremely invalidating.
After a couple of months, maybe five sessions my therapist gave me the name Marsha Linehan, said to look her up and then basically backed out of being my therapist. My Spidey senses caught the uncomfortable feeling that he was having. I think he just didn't want the hassle.
@@marthamryglod291 Not all therapists are able or qualified to help every client. Therapists are people and have limits too. It really might've been to your benefit!!
@@Yettiboyranch that is true too. Because of the recommendation I began to do DBT.
I feel like after 8 years, I’ve never been so proud and happy with myself. I had a lot of good therapist, but you truly open my eyes to this reality and offer a tribune 💜 I recommand you to everyone
Thank you. Be well.
I suspected I have BPD forever. I mentioned it to a friend who is therapist. She said " of course you don't have BPD. BPD is a HORROR, these people are AWFUL, a total MENACE. So you are fine." I remember it clearly. Never dared approaching it again. Until finally a qualified specialist diagnosed me, such a relief, I am waiting for my DBT to start soon. It is so uplifting to hear how dr Fox talks about it. Hearing a certified therapist calling BPD sufferers a menace to society effectively, basically prevented me from getting help and made me feel like trash.
The shell around black and white thinking has cracked. I am beginning to see the grey spectrum of relationships. There is a lot of space between complete disreguard and blood brothers. I never knew this. Thank you.
Mister, you don't know how much you've helped me hold on and also move on to a better place. I just want to say thank you so much for everything you do.
I hope this reaches you and I wish the best for you, I'm just so thankful.
"An unlikeable person must have BPD" I'm laughing because it's so absurd but still a very real stigma. Be careful who you reach out to for therapy. Trust your gut and know that it does get better!
Finding a knowledgeable and kind therapist that accepts my health insurance where I live north of Seattle feels like mission impossible. If I present any current research or info about BPD to them then I'm labeled a hypochondriac. I alternate between feeling utterly hopeless and rage. Rage that medical professionals are so arrogant. I'm 58 and lived my whole life being told basically nothing except depression, depression, depression. I have been rotated through every single SSRI and SNRI there is for 30+ years with absolutely zero effect. It's really hard not to feel angry and resentful - like my life has been stolen from me because of incompetency, outdated and limited beliefs held by those who are supposed to help, "the medical professional knows all" etc. As a veterinarian who no longer works because of both mental and physical health disorders I find it inconceivable that fellow medical professional ca
Can be so arrogant. It's so easy to research issues online and find evidence based information but to do so makes you a hypochondriac in the eyes of some/many physicians
I agree that that's so frustrating. It's a shame that even with all the new research there is still so much misinformation and bias in the field. I was watching another psychologist on youtube the other day talk about people with BPD saying they don't really feel any empathy? Like really? How could she know that? I hope things are changing now as people understand the condition better. I hope you find someone helpful soon, but be proud of yourself in the meantime as it sounds like you've come a long way on your own. Good luck to you!
@@katieg7679 thank you very much 😊. Your support means a lot to me. The bulldog in me has not given up yet!
@@kimtaylor9492 order a dbt book off Amazon changed my life as BPD diagnosed in the UK
I just want to thank you, Dr Fox. I just watched the J...P... video claiming BPD is the female equivalent of antisocial pd. I'm feeling a bit down, then i listened to your hopeful video and my spirit lifted. Feel like hugging you
Thank you so much Dr Fox. This channel has been a tool to go to when I need it and your book....is amazing. You are such an empathetic person who really wants to help heal people. Thank you for all you do for us bpd people. You have made a difference in people's lives with your work. From the bottom of my heart, thank you ❤
Good luck to you?
He's incredible x
1h of Dr Fox, I'm not ready for it! 😮 Wow great project, I'm not in my best today but definitely going to listen! So good that bpd is more and more told about all around the world. Here in France it's not that known yet (I have hope!). Have a nice weekend everyone! 👋
The longer I know you (through your videos) the more I like you as a person. Thank you Dr. Fox for rescuing us. I appreciate it.
So pleased I found this as I was diagnosed around 2001 after being in and out mental hospital over about 12 to 18 month, I was 32!! I was just kinda left with the diagnosis and not much explanation apart from the fact they had missed it when seen as a child and I was probably quite clever! Wow....wtf..I also thought there was nothing could be done except anti depressants antipsychotics I've seen a few therapist over the years but a lot happened and always just stopped.I think my point is I'm 53 and had to navigate this on my own and forever, I stopped going out or even trying to have any relationships (I don't have kids) but maybe I should go and knock on those closed doors again I mean after 2020/1 anything is possible. Xx ❤️
I wish this channel was around twenty years ago! I just very recently learned about quiet BPD, (which I learned from this channel) and the description Dr. Fox gave had me crying. Ive spent most of my life trying to understand "what's wrong with me," and never sought help because I didn't know how to "narrow things down" into an explanation that made any sense. But hearing everything tied together and brought under one construct, it was no wonder I had the reaction to this information that I did.
If possible, Dr. Fox, can you do a video or two about people who are just learning about this disorder closer to middle age? I feel this is an important group of people that kind of unintentionally get "skipped over," because the general thought is that if we've made it this far, then we must be ok. NOT. 😳 Sometimes, you've only made it this far because there's only one alternative. Like myself, you might just be here all these years later, JUST NOW truly understanding why you've lived certain ways all your life, why you're now divorced, why you've maybe stayed at a mundane job forever, and why you're still angry with life and yourself. Having a few videos specifically for this age-group would be more helpful and useful than you could ever know.
This is so important! Yes, please make a video to address those who have just reached a diagnosis after decades. The common misconception is that either a BPD diagnosis is pretty much a death sentence or that it most likely subsides or lessens with age. So many of us have not become conscious of it until later in life because we have not received a proper diagnosis and subsequent treatment. Just because we have maintained jobs or we haven't been hospitalized doesn't mean we haven't suffered for our entire lives. If someone is unaware of their unconscious motivations and triggers, they can wake up one day with a diagnosis and subsequent insight but a feeling that it's hopeless because so much time has been wasted :(
@@pegacorn13 So well said👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Dr. Fox it's been a long time since I last watched your videos. Nonetheless I'm delighted to see more accomplishments and id like to congratulate you. You really have touched many peoples hearts and changed lives. Lord bless you.
I truly do not know what I would do without Dr. Fox's help. His knowledge is so useful and I'm finally beginning to be much kinder to myself. I don't feel so hopeless anymore. Thank you Dr Fox, endlessly.
You’re very welcome and I’m glad that you found the videos helpful and I wish you all the best.
Learning I have traits was the beginning for me. I feel for those with the full disorder.
I'm not overly disruptive because I'm a loner but always felt too unstable for relationships.
I have always been employed and self employed and not prone to getting fired, but I see everyone as a potential threat and play the victim all the time.
I see teasing out my destructive traits like working the matts out of a dog's coat. Very slow delicate work and a huge job !
Plus I experiment with my interactions with other humans to bring out the best and bite my tongue and wait out my paranoid and reactive impulses.
Thank you Dr. Fox your lovely demeanor is very soothing to the soul !
I gave up on relationships about 15 years ago and have secluded since. I always think that the seclusion is more harmful to the illness. It doesn't give us the chance to practice and makes it easier for this thing to flourish and consume. What you think?
@@untamed1958 Absolutely! It’s much better to practice, fail, learn, fail better, learn again, get better
You do sound like my EX)))
Wonderful facts! Don't be afraid of change people. BPD really does improve if you are willing and open to that fact.
This was great! Thank you so much for spreading good info, Dr. Fox! Professionals need education as much as anyone else and more in my opinion considering the stigma we have to live under was actually created by them. It's great hearing a professional actually understand what they are talking about for a change.
So how do we get those who are supposed to help us informed? The great resources like Dr Fox that I've found on my own and have shared with the 3 providers I currently see has only educated my talk therapist. She used to treat "the prototypical" BODs in Illinois at a state run facility. She described those individuals as severely affected with severe cutting, multiple Suicide attempts, inability to hold a job and thus needing assistance, etc. She didn't know that there are many different expressions of BPD. I had to keep sending her informative articles. Luckily she has an open mind and sees clearance who I am and how I suffer. How do we get the misinformation overwritten with facts and truth.
@@kimtaylor9492 Doing exactly what you are doing, Kim. It's awesome you are educating yourself, advocating for yourself and other BPD sufferers. There is a huge shift happening in the education about BPD. It's encouraging and still discouraging at times but the information is getting better and that is the key to helping people. You're helping by educating your therapist so the next BPD sufferer who walks in their office will get better treatment.
So you are already helping and thank you!
please please please please please please PLEASE do a video on holding a job and why its so terrifyingly hard for me to go to work and hold a job. I know im not the only one struggling with this, but personally ive found my dream job and i can't let myself lose this job yet all i can do lately is focus on how scared i am to lose this job and it's just making work so hard even though im great at it.
This is a good topic!
I had tp retire age 26 I had my dream job working in an animal rescue centre I loved it but my coworkers made it unbearable I sabotaged myself to be fired and was drinking heavily and it led to taking hard drugs which I've been battling for 16yrs I cldnt imagine if I had to be declared fit for work I'm on disability
THISS!!
Im crying. Dr. Fox gives us hope. Im already feeling very hopeful since my recent diagnosis and finding Dr. Fox. Not Dr. Romny
My very first diagnosis just over 30 years ago was social phobia, which I began to overcome after facing some of my fears in group therapy. I knew the moment I turned the corner, and so did everyone else in the group. I went 30 years before getting another diagnosis, which was CPTSD. Any insight I've gotten in those 30 years was done on my own steam, while therapists would say "I don't know", but finally getting that CPTSD diagnosis was when the world opened up to understanding myself. I am a truth seeker though, and that still wasn't enough. My current therapist resisted the discussion too. She even asked me if I wanted a label. I was able to tell her what a negative experience it was to receive such an unsupportive and closed ended question and that it didn't help me in moving forward. I have been continuing my search to understand, and discovered mixed personality disorder. I don't fit neatly into one box. I have features of avoidant, borderline and narcissistic personality disorder and now it finally makes sense. My therapist seems to agree and finally talked with me bit about it. Knowledge is power and I'm closer to a sense of peace than ever before.
Dr. Fox is a God send!!! I'm so thankful for his videos..
Thanks
What’s hard about mentally unstable is the need to find someone who can help & constantly repeating the bad experiences & traits me myself hate.
Thank you so so much for your insights and understanding of BPD! I have been diagnosed with BPD at least 20 years. I thought BPD meant BiPolarDisorder. I only discovered that I was wrong and actually had BPD. I was devastated! I had no idea this was a thing, let alone that BPD is a totally different than my prior beliefs . When I started to research this disorder, the description was very negative and made me feel so much worse than before that. It’s known for being a real nutter. And to stay away from people with this disorder. Even compared to narcissism and anti social disorder. I was worse than I ever thought and felt so much more depressed and hopeless than ever. I’m still coming to terms with this but your words really comforting to me. And all your content on your channel is very informative and so helpful. It makes sense to me now. And at least I know I can work to someday overcome my traits and become a better person and actually have a friend! :)
Don't give up Sandra.You deserve a good life. There is a better life ahead for you.Just take it one day at a time. Your unhappiness made me weep. I don't know why it touched me so deeply.
Thank you Doc. My wife and I love your videos. MY DOCTOR
This is the most accurate description of BPD. I wish he was my therapist. I wish I found a therapist like him.
I can’t help but crying with heart warmed feeling and hope. Thank you so much Dr. foxes for all these video.
In the middle of a panic attack Dr. Fox’s videos are like a long tight hug
I’m so glad they’re helpful.
a special friend pointed me towards your videos, I am grateful for you doing what you do in trying to help others in a level headed and optimistic way
Thank you 😊. I wish you well.
How does he have only this many followers? This is the best of the best.
The fear abandonment issue of BPD fade over decades. Because you become “abandoned “ but you realize it’s not fatal, and in most cases is actually a blessing. PS: The shame fades too. What lingers is underlying mood issues and anxiety depression issues. Also, it has helped my attitude to have discovered the truth about Jesus and how he wants us to live. It gives me a reason to be nicer to people
God bless you in your walk with Jesus who will never abandon you, or anyone who puts their trust in him. I too find that knowing how we are supposed to behave, and trying to live up to Jesus's standard is so helpful. Also knowing that when we fail to live up to it we can repent and be forgiven and do better next time! Thank you for sharing.
you shouldn't have to name drop Jesus to get people to think you're a good person. I take it that the manipulation doesn't fade??
One doesn't get to know where the fear is coming from.... This makes it feel so real....
I was diagnosed by counselors and psychiatrists at age 14 inside an inpatient facility. They looked at my records, talked to my parents and evaluated the incidents that led to me being admitted ( prior cutting for 2 years starting at age 12 and subsequent attempt to cut wrists after being caught in attempt to sneak out and run away with a 24 year old guy in the air force that i had met online and told that i was 19) and they had read all my personal journals and diaries that my mother found and read and then brought to the facility. After they reviewed all that, they told me i was very obviously a borderline and that it was ok to diagnose me because it was just glaringly obvious to them that i was the most borderline kid they had ever seen. But they weren't interested in what caused such a typical pathology to manifest in my in only 14 years, only in exposing my most personal writings to the groups and staff and complimenting me about my writing ability. One counselor even told me and a few other kids that we were doing abuse to ourselves as compared to some others that had been abused outright and raped by their parents, as if we were a joke that didn't belong there. They may have been correct about me having bpd, but they didn't know shit about treating it or understanding how much pain i was in 24/7. I had parents that acted as if i didn't exist, and my actual father literally did deny i existed and never came near me from birth. My mother and her husband cared only about money and eachother, but i didn't realize this back then. My mind couldn't face the truth that they just didn't want me, so i believed it when the world told me i had great parents and a great life because nobody raped me and they were wealthy. It took decades for my own brain to let me see the truth, that i was naturally disabled by social anxiety from birth anyway, and then my mother married a rich man that never acknowledged my existence and i was terrified of him as a looming presence in my home 24/7. She started ignoring me too after a while, and i was the only child anywhere around with no friends whatsoever.
"The suicidal idealation is the default."
Me 20 minutes ago to my coworkers. "I wanna die. I dont want to go on. I wanna die. I'm so tired and sore and I just wanna die.c
Awe, so sorry you’re feeling that way! I used to think this daily, but stuff did get better for me to my surprise and I hope the same to you 🌞🌹
I wish I could literally sit next to you right now to give you a big hug and to make us feel not alone. Please try to let this episode pass - sleep and listening to absolutely non serious programs on streaming services has helped me get thru these periods but I have to admit that at 58 these old coping mechanisms are becoming less and less effective.
Whine
Could it be dysthymia? I had this form of depression for seven years after my father stabbed my mother, seemingly in an attempt to kill her. He was an undiagnosed paranoid narcissist. The mental health profession failed to give him a diagnosis when he was in the hospital suffering from a stroke after we asked them to give him a psychological assessment. This was extremely upsetting but I did not recognize I should seek medical help for my death wish, not suicide.
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 the fact you take time to go around harassing strangers indicates you have unresolved issues
I’m happy there is hope for me. I don’t have to be defined by BPD. It’s going to take work…I know that…unfortunately when things get hard I run instead of confront them. How much work I need to do is overwhelming at times.
This is amazing, thank youuu! 🙏🏼😊
Sending so much love and support to you in your career that you may continue to help us dismantle ableism!
The best clinical psychologist I have ever known Dr Fox you have excellent insights and very knowledgeable of BPD, admire your approaches really amazing videos keep up the outstanding work ur contribution is priceless in improving people's lives superb
Wow, thank you!
I've been studying and practicing mindfulness and buddhist techniques to get rid of our default patterns--one is majhima nikaya sutta #19. 5 steps,-1. Replace unwholesome actions or thoughts with wholesome ones. 2. Examine the dangers to you or others of your actions or thoughts. 3. Ignore that's that are trivial 4.investigate the causes. 5. Use firm resolve to get rid of action or thought. I use these in meditation and in daily life. It just proves that you can get rid of unhealthy thoughts and actions.
I left a semi hopeful comment here five months ago now I like to leave, don't despair dr. Fox you're a good man and you have saved lives and I'll switch lives some people are just not meant to be in this world there are meant to make an appearance yes they're not meant to stay I wanted those people I'm a 50 year old teen boy
Finally some one dedicating his time to help this notoriously difficult to understand and treat people who suffering from this Bizzare disorder which is more wide speed in modern era them we thinks
Hatts off for u Doc
God bless you Dr. Daniel. I thank God for people like you in this world. You are an earth angel.
Thank you for touching upon Complex BPD-- As I actually asked the question about that in one of your previous videos.
I can't afford therapy so i learn from Dr. Fox. You don't even know who i am but you've helped me so much. I'm so greatful.
U r one of the best RUclips channels that I've ever had the fortune to encounter. You do how much you've helped me, us. Thank you doc!!!!
Best presentation to know and understand and relate different factors with each other. This talk gives understanding to everyone who
Wants to know about it . Please watch at least 3 times !
Dr. Fox, you are soooo humble and knowledgeable!!! You are one of a kind… you’ve helped me so much! I’m excited to start reading your book… Thank you for all your hard work!!! You are our doctor 🤍
Having BPD is really hard. It's harder when my husband and other family members don't believe me and won't even discover for themselves what it is. I feel so alone that they are not interested enough to see how much this disorder is hurting me and how much I need their support. Ever since I can remember I've had BPD. I am not in denial. I'm not making it up. It is a living hell of mental and emotional torment. I'm 76. I give up on ever getting better. And what scares me the most is that I become violent when the emotional pain is more than I can bear. I hate myself because I can't control the monster within. It never gets better, it only gets worse and more frequent. I was 73 before I was finally diagnosed with BPD, so I don't have a long history of anyone helping me with it. I've just got a long history of finger-pointing shame and guilt for being crazy. I don't even trust myself anymore. Thank you for your videos. They are comforting to me knowing that you care and want to help people like me.
I'm so sorry you had to go your whole life not knowing WHY you were treated differently than every person around us. It's been 49 years for me. I am 49 now. I have sympathy with you on your temper getting worse and it sucks because it's all the horrible treatment from others built up over time that have Made me to a point of Isolation because I just am to damn tired to keep TRYING not to piss someone off because im not "normal"
No shit is what I say. I've been telling yall my whole life! And yall said I was lying attention seeking etc
So wich is it!!??
It's horrible going through life knowing your gonna piss someone off some how some way , It's horrible knowing there's no way the rest of the population can feel like this. But people tell you yes everyone has depression, or we all have to control our temper you aren't special. Etc
I'm sorry no one listened.
I am now.
I've been screaming to the top of my lungs that just listen to me so you know where I'm coming from,
Trust me it's not easy I'm not CHOOSING this.
I'm down to one close family member. And she's only reason I'm ok
Or even here
I'm just here to make sure I don't add any more hurt to her life. All I can do is tip toe and stay still or I'm gonna end up doing something "wrong" and go through all the Shame guilt etc..
And I honestly don't think I can any more.
My heart feels weak. I can't imagine how your heart feels not knowing and fighting it 73 years. My God. You are amazing and I tell you
You probably have every reason to want to be violent. People don't talk about how other people treat bpd
People. Just in General. You never see others getting away with the crap people do to us.
Then we have to control allllll that . To make sure you don't express how you feel. It's exhausting. Betrayal feels like death litterly to me. I know you get it. I'm glad you know for your own self. Stay OK.
Be easy on you. ❤️
It’s as if this video was made for me. I relate to so much and for the first time someone actually gives me hope I can get better.
Emotional, behavioral, inter-personal, identity!,, Do stuff that increases the probability of positive outcomes! Love it. What is something small I can do now that will make me a little bit happier tomorrow?
Dr.Fox your the best
Getting better all the time
Doctors need to come together and treat each person as an individual not a group. No two people are alike. I have therapy, counseling, medical, chiropractor, Psychiatrist and Natural path all working ❤ together to help me. It has made a huge difference in my life. Huge!
Thank for sharing your knowledge your insight and most of all your passion on BPD.
Thank you so much Dr Fox
Thank you so much for helping us learn more about bpd❤ greetings from a new subscriber
When I was young I was so impulsive but it helped me to succeed. It gave me the energy to complete multiple degrees, jobs, goals. After retirement.....lost confused, defeated, tormented, hurt, numb, exhausted and lack of desire to make more goals has left me in the petulant subtype. Acting and pretending is exhausting!!! I could write a book that would make your head spin.....then I move far away...to avoid getting hurt by family who think I am the one who inflicts pain. Maybe I am...
I'm not sure my thought on how bpd changes was the same as what your thoughts were. Gosh I have so many questions.
Hi doc, could you please do a video on ego depletion? And how years of chronic stress can reduce our impulse control drastically.
My 25 year old son has been diagnosed dyslexic aged 7 ADHD aged 13 BPD aged20
We now realise this is total BPD he has had psychosis since very young age so disbelieves this is his true diagnosis which is his most suffering symptom DrFox you have explained greatly that this is comorbid
How common is this strength of psychosis
Uk mum
Psychosis is usually short-term, maybe 4 hours max. There is usually a trigger. Best to get him assessed for psychotic disorder or others concerns, as he's in the window for initial symptom expression. Be well.
Hi can you do a video on when both people in a romantic relationship have bpd pls? Or can anyone guide me if they ever can across this? THANKYOU!
Oh wow, imagine if both people in a relationship had BPD!
I have BPD and the 3 long term relationships I've had in my life have been with non-BPD people.
However, one of my closest friends I met 2 years ago has BPD, CPTSD (as do I) and some other stuff. And interestingly, we have a very easy, understanding, patient friendship. I get insecure and "weird" with her sometimes, she explodes (not at me) and gets dysregulated and cries sometimes, but because we understand each other, see right through these coping mechanisms, triggers and reactions, we help each other and are really good together. A relationship with her might be very different though!
So I think maybe if both people in a relationship had BPD, they might either explode and be very volatile and damaging, OR they might be quite balanced (mostly) like my friend I mentioned above.
It also depends on HOW each person's BPD manifests (explosive anger, turning inward, self harm, etc) and also what other mental issues are present and how THEY manifest (depression, anxiety, CPTSD, OCD, ADHD, and so on).
I believe self awareness is key! Understanding your behavior as well as the other person’s behavior (they may act out differently than you). And they understand yours.
Dr. Fox could you do a video on BPD and Autism overlaps and comorbidity? Im diagnosed BPD and others in my family are on the autistic spectrum and i get confused when it comes to understanding why the diagnoses' are different when the symptoms are so similar. As always thank you for your videos and books.
Wow ! I wish I could be there in Poland that would be so healing ❤
My husband has at least BPD traits if not the disorder. Through you I began to love BPD. Before your videos I felt so alone and pessimistic.
@Dr Fox you touch so important areas of our disorder,
This speaker sounds like Polish! Great, Greetings from Poland. I’m also Polish;)
Great video. Thanks Dr Fox.
I’ve been learning a lot about BPD since I’ve been diagnosed a couple months ago, you made a huge impact on my learning and it made me hopeful that one day I will recover.
You mention genetics being a part of BPD, is it possible to make a video dedicated to this topic?
I think it's kind of bittersweet finding such a good doctor, but not actually being able to become his patient. I mean, I'm grateful for the videos, I am. But, I'm not able to find therapist like him in my area.
my late husband was bad due to horrific circumstances as small child. He was very kind-hearted..then all of a sudden he got a tantrum/ epileptic fit type of attack. it was scary. Fortunately the children never saw it. around the age of 58 you he became psychotic.
I took him to 3 specialists...not one could find anything physically wrong with him. He died of a heart attack aged 62. due to severe pericarditis
Thank you, Dr. Fox. I'm searching for a new mental health provider for some of the myths you've listed. Can you give advice on how to find a provider that is qualified/willing to treat?
Dr Fox your videos have been great, they are helping me massively, I’ve bought your books which myself and my partner are doing together, I’m a quiet Bpd I wreck all relationships but my partner I’m with now is amazing, I’ve found Jesus who helps me massively too 🙏 thank you again for all your videos 🙏
So glad my material is helpful.
BPD is fear based disorder and is overcome through exposure to the thing that one fears, which is abandonment from the ones that they care about. A lot of the time this abandonment drama comes from actual abandonment in the past so it’s not even required to have a new abandonment to overcome the wounds. You just need proper therapy to recontextualize what you went through and understand that certain people leaving your life is a blessing.
I would like to see a video about motivation
I feel so seem after seeing this video. Thank you so much
What he said about looking if up to see if you think you may have it is exactly what i done and when approaching my addiction support worker i was met with a scoff at why did i think that and don't you think we wldve picked up on it i was undiagnosed there for 8yrs the other 8 was a whirlwind of traumatic interactions i had maybe three workers who were actually caring and good at their job the rest i feel were narcissistic even the psychiatrist was arrogant towards me threatening to take me off the methadone if i continued to use heroin which categorically does not happen ever when it's lining the pockets of everyone involved i left the addiction centre 2 yrs ago im now without any help or support bc i use heroin I'm weaning myself off it and came off the handcuffs that is methadone myself i dont need "help" like that it caused me more trauma than helped me i do think i have medical ptsd bc of it all
How old when you're looking back ( speaking personal) would you start noticing the lonelyness and other symptoms?
I was 16 when I first started showing signs of emotional instability, occasional outbursts of anger and frustration, as well as lying to get sympathy from friends.
I was 17 when I first self harmed and from age 17 to 27 I was the most "explosive" in terms of temper tantrums and abusive outbursts, as well as self harm tendencies.
I didn't even know I felt empty and bored on a deep level until last year. I now see that was always present, but was appeased when I was in a relationship and feeling "in love" with someone. That someone was the only person I would explode at and show all my private emotions to. I feel like my choice is (a) I'm in a relationship and very unstable, or (b) I'm not in a relationship and am terminally bored, depressed and empty.
I've had anxiety since age 4 and depression since about age 30. I also have Complex PTSD and mild OCD.
I'm 42 now.
@@ladybaabaa3294 Have you tried having a permanent relationship with Jesus?
I started feeling empty, lonely around age 7. I attempted suicide at 12, 19, and 20.
The work you’re doing Dr fox, is priceless! Your videos gave me hope. I was wondering, do you have any information or insight on co-morbidity with maladaptive daydreaming?
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Both, some symptoms change depending on what part of your life cycle you're in and some stay the same throughout.
Thank uuuuu so much for the video.. Subscribed already..
I find is keeping stress at bay helps under extreme stressful situations I melt down and have intense emotions ,episodes
Dr. Fox, in hindsight, I had clear BPD traits at 14 around the time of my first hospitalization. Traits were preceded by attachment disorder. The misdiagnosis lead to ineffective polypharm (20+ pills a day) without actually giving me any useful tools. Speaking to my adolescent social worker as an adult 28 years later, in retrospect, her goal was just to keep me alive and I was full blown unfiltered BPD by 16 which eventually resolved to a manageable level by 25. NEA BPD has a talk online about adolescent BPD by Dr Aguirre from Mclean hospital that tells much of my story.