deep diving into my own tumblr and regretting every second of it
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
- first of all: i'm so sorry
second: really. i'm SO sorry
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2nd channel: goo.gl/H3Y8t7
insta: / nisipisa
twitter: / nisipisa
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on me:
1st look:
eyes: nyx while eyeshadow base, sugarpill's "dollipop"
lashes: milk makeup kush + covergirl supersizer mascaras
cheeks: clionadh cosmetics highlighters in "aether" and "circuit"
lips: ABH lip palette shade 8 topped with elf x alissa ashley gloss
2nd look:
eyes: ABH modern renaissance palette, shade "antique bronze"
lashes: milk makeup kush + covergirl supersizer mascaras
cheeks: ulta beauty lip + cheek stick in "mauves", physician's formula butter highlighter in "rose gold"
lips: urband decay hi-fi gloss in "rapture"
I literally had to fast forward through the rap because my body was rejecting it
MEEEEEE
I was about to write the same. The cringe leves are so high
@Caleb Isaias WOAH!!!!
@@p1ant donut engage
True bravery is not feeling no cringe, it is feeling the cringe and persisting in filming, editing and uploading a 40 minute video to the internet
Seeing that you used to be so absolutely insufferable and still turned out OK gives me massive amounts of hope for myself
i LOUDLY cackled at this comment for a full minute. this might be my favorite comment this year
did u turn out okay?
Did you turn out okay?
No, but feeling hopeful for a bit was nice
@@antoniaschneider7839 well it’s the thought that counts
“The gentleman I fancy” has massive “I read Pride and Prejudice once in high school and now think I’m smarter and more cultured than all of my plebeian classmates” energy.
...Trust me, I’m speaking from experience
Feeling called out on a celestial level 😔
Oof that’s too close to home this was me like 2 years ago
lmao same, same.
Shhh
the irony of your blog title being "musings of a calm mind" in 2011, the era when tumblr had the air and appearance of a warehouse rave. like muffy, sis. the gifs.
"musings of a calm mind" girl that mind was NOT calm 💀
Calling him the 'gentlemen I fancy' gives me a visceral reaction, and also tells me ALL I need to know
Oh my God that rant about you being good girlfriend material but never getting the chance really made me cringe hard
No but I literally wrote something similar on my tumblr about a girl I had a crush on that followed me and probs would’ve seen it what in the INCEL WAS LITTLE ME THINKING
I'm at 8 minutes and I really don't think I can take half an hour of this I'm sorry Nisa but yes you are cancelled I'll really miss you
i am genuinely trying to keep going but it keeps getting worse i just got to the "vanilla" thing i-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'M DEAD.
Your blog is actually an early 2000' coming-of-age movie protagonist's diary.
I might have lost it at "Vanilla"... 2011 was a trip but Vintage Nisa sounds like a hoot
edit - nvm I just got to the rap😭😭😭
We were all cringe teenagers at once point.
Now we're cringe adults. Or at least that's what the teenagers I work with say about me. Little vaping bastards.
hhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m weeezing Jesus Christ
Just like those little vaping bastards ☺️
@@emmasteinke4503 omg🥰🥰🥰🥰its my favorite god-honoring woman🥰😍😍😍😍😄😃😃😃😃😜
@@AN-ou6qu yeahhh... Still waiting for that phase to finish cause god! i cannot stand seeing any video or photo with more than a year old
this cringey person is right, promote them, to cringey boss
you couldn't pay me to go through my tumblr archives. you're stronger than us all. thank you for your service.
the "kinks" post really took me back to the era of the internet where we thought wanting to get pissed on made us special and interesting
I once tried to look through my old tumblr I had between the ages of 14-16 and then I saw a neon sign that said “yolo” and I gave up. Thank you for being braver than the rest of us.
the rap’s first verse would have definitely made me send you an anonymous ask asking if you were doing okay if we were mutuals on tumblr in 2011
mm young tumblr nisa is now blocked and reported
Nisa: “Musings of a calm mind”
Also Nisa: GRRRR THE GENTLEMAN I FANCY HAS A GF #FUUUCK #FUUUUUUUUU #FUCUFUHCUK
i used to put every personal text post under a "read more" or just write a ":-/" and go OFF in the tags lmao
The best part of being almost 40 is we didn't have social media in the 90's. All the receipts went to the land fill 2 decades ago.
I'm so glad that my tumblr got deleted in the massive purge of old accounts tumblr did a few years back. Because I see you your "the gentleman I fancy" and raise you one "the Persephone of my own personal mythos".
the "frickle pickles I am one grumped up princess" kinda reminds me of that line in Juno
"That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet." haha love it
plot twist, nisa was possessed by the spirit of diablo cody
You can see the moment when Nisa's soul tries to escape her body
24:15 for example lmao
*moments
08:26 ?
Multiple times
yes, during the rap
the "[statement], no?" SENT ME bc younger pseudo-pretentious me used it ALL THE TIME 😭
I KEEP HAVING TO PAUSE THE VIDEO TO BREATHE i'm laughing so hard. "the best part of adulthood is never running out of versions of yourself to be embarrassed by" hi yes I'd like this on my tombstone thanks
still not as bad as my superwholock phase 😷
i was trying to repress that part of my brain
Yea
omg true
me: i have no fear
nisipisa: the rap had a second verse
me: i have one fear
she mentions time and date like doctors do when they declare a death and i think thats fitting
I'm actually pretty glad that I'm old enough to not really have that internet paper trail of my thirst years lol
The rap scene made me cry from second hand embarrassment. Stay strong.
If it makes you feel better, when I was like 11ish I started to write a Rent and Percy Jackson crossover fan fiction entitled "Percy Jackson & The Bohemians" and it was so shitty After like 3 or 4 chapters (which were super short) I stopped writing and scrapped it bc even at that age I knew it was garbage.
You're much braver than I am. I've had Tumblr since 2008 and the thought of going back and looking at the mess I once was (and so desperately try to tell myself that I no longer am) fills me with an emotion that I can only describe as nauseated dread.
I completely lost it at "beards = sex", I think if I ever hear that again I'll explode
I have never once regretted deleting my tumblr this video proves it.
Also my first tumblr url lifeisabeautifulstruggle is now some weird christian blog that hasn't posted in two years and frankly im offended
Whenever I feel bad about the wrinkles that I'm starting to develop, I remember that it means I'm old enough to have missed social media in my teens/twenties and I'm so, SO thankful that my awkward years are not captured on the internet. Mostly.
You're lucky 🤣 I just don't write anything that I feel like I might regret in the future at this point
you are VALID and your feelings are VALID and that being said imagining anyone saying those things about ryan gossling is like listening to someone tell me that whole wheat bread and whole wheat bread alone is their absolute favorite food. it is UNFATHOMABLE and almost as unfathomable as going through life without that good good part two video content you KNOW you had to do it (react to these aforementioned videos) to 'em (us, your adoring greek choir shrieking in gleeful terror the further you descend into the lion's den)
We have some merch material
we do?
nisipisa yes I’m going to need “frickles prickles” and “I’m a grumped up princess” on a sticker or shirt.
This video has immense sleepover energy and I love it so much
upon nisa calling her past self “pretentious” because of her unique (though, only at the time) vernacular, i began to wheeze with jolly laughter, only to realize that it is, in fact, exactly the way i speak myself.
This inspired me to look into my old tumblr account...and boy did I just waste an hour of my life from that deep dive straight into self loathing. 2010 was apparently a very rough year for me and I think I was secretly a ghost rider for every emo band debuting back then.
thirsting after celebrities in the tags was so performative on tumblr we were so pathetic and trying way too hard lol
Her reciting the conversation w the boy from Spanish class really got me please never stop making videos ever
"frickle pickles..." do you mind if I hit that die?! early-2010s' tumblr was a wiiiiiiild time.
I'm glad that time period was high school for me and not college. You college kids on Tumblr back in the earlier 2010s really served as a wake up call to us still in high school on the dangers of 90s babies "adulting" and inspired us to be better. Y'all really took one for the team lol
It’s okay, I also wrote a rap when I was around 14-16? It was called “ain’t no easy chick” and regret it immediately after I rapped it out loud to my friend 🤦🏻♀️
My tumblr was full of “pro-ana/Mia” and thinspo bc I was hoping an ED would rub off on me so I could be the delicate tortured girl at my middle school. That, and vin diesel thirst (I even changed the background of the family computer to varying vin diesel portraits)
so, sorry but I win :/
Ps, much to my 15-year-old selfs dismay I never “caught” an ED and became underweight for attention as planned.
You turned your swag way up today girl. Hat/shadow combo love it. Existential romantic rap is a genre that needs to happen.
I never had a tumblr (bar for reading nsfw stuff that made you sign in) but was disappointed that I couldn’t find the download of my old Xanga. I am 100% sure there were shoe photos, weirdly prudish rants and quiz results on it.
Okay but we already KNOW all of the girlies that wrote or thought like this at one point in time have evolved gracefully.
Definitely give us the sequel. GIVE US THE SEQUEL
i don’t think the marines have this courage
“I’d jingle his bells”
“I’d ride his sleigh”
Kejsjsjsjsjdjrksidjsj I lost itttttt😭😭😭
PLEASE do the second video reacting videos.
YESSS
OMG...I actually bought that holographic skater dress off of Etsy in 2014. The shop was DEVOWEVO or something like that. I have worn the dress exactly zero times. I just let it hang in my closet. I can't get rid of it for some reason...I guess it's similar to you going through your old blog like this, you have to confront the shame to appreciate the growth lol
DUDE THAT WAS IT!! damn i was WAYYY off on the price point, yikes
"It's like having a fever that you can't sweat out"
thanks for finally explaining the name of my most memorized beloved album in High School. lol.
only took me 10 years XD
I was washing my face while you were doing the rap and I was tempted to risk getting cleanser in my eye to skip it lmaoo love this video
I often wonder why my photos from the 2010 through 2015 era are so grossly oversaturated, but after seeing that 2010 shot of Tumblr images, I finally understand the root of the problem.
No?
no.
I feel so exposed, my first tumblr introduction page in 2013 had the exact same energy. This is so funny that I want to go back and deep dive through my archives from freshman year of high school
nvm I couldn't even get through 2014. I made the exact same bitter virgin posts but in the form of free verse poetry im screaming
Your young tumblr voice gives me Kelly from the office vibes
unfortunately I have watched this video so many times that I have memorized the rap and mouth it like an insane person when Nisa reads it
i can't even imagine going through my tumblr posts from years ago... you are so brave
i got half way through the rap, got to the line "nah, im not from the hood // i got a house and yard", paused the video, stood up paced for a deadass minute, squealing and now cant bring myself to hit play, jesus christ
imagine what editing this was like for me
"IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, YOU LOSER"-
thank you, i needed that
Okay that store that sells the PVC skirts is called glitters for dinner which I know since I still have every item bookmarked from 2015
Zac effron poster in the backgound.....those were the good times sis !!
All the comments are about your soul leaving your body. Can we talk about her amazing singing of airplanes? 9:49
ong yes!
so glad i mainly used my tumblr to reblog anime and band GIFS
"I REBUKE THIS" is such a relatable feeling when looking through artifacts from my teenage years.
this is difficult, this is really really difficult. im going to have to come back in a few weeks to finish when ive healed from this. "i like my boys like i like my icecream" im sorry i cant handle all of this rn..
You are incredibly strong to manage to do this without LITERALLY DYING
why do you think it took me two days to film it 😂
i tried. I really tried. but i couldnt
i understand
lol small internet note: i used to be mutuals with the person who made that chris evans/cranberry pills post she was super dope
I love that you're the only RUclipsr that I get notifications for because tbh you're the only one I care about anymore
Becca Flieder this! is! the! mood!
This video is such a classic I rewatch it at least once a month
every couple minutes i need to take a break because this is forcibly transporting me somewhere i thought id NEVER return to and i cant handle it
this is honestly one of my fave vids on this entire site, it's 2.5 years since i first saw it and im still lmfao everytime i rewatch
this rap ... Fergie teas lol
“Frickle pickles” and any variation needs to be classified as illegal
i’ve added “virginly” to my book of verbs, thanks nisa.
also i know that this was two years ago but i love your hair
FRICKLE PICKLES IM FICCKING SCREAMING
SCR EAMING
She was Down bad. Down. Astronomically. I was truly as bad though in high school. I am arguably just as bad now.
It actually got worse as the video progressed, so I would like to add, down horrendous.
god im glad i bottled up my feelings when i was a teenager
I also referred to myself as a young villainess in my black milk leggings🤦♀️
ok but your blog posts convey such Rachel Berry energy
This whole video is giving me flashbacks to things I never even did.
Also: The Thirst.
Oh my god. This makes me wish I didn't delete my Myspace account. But also, nah, I'm happy I deleted that cesspool of nope.
Yes please to the sequel. This is the most entertaining video I’ve seen in weeks.
You have GOT TO DO A RED LIP, short hair... Seriously sexy Josephine baker vibes!!!!!
“Wow there’s a lot of Darren Criss in here” LMAO MEEE. I was obsessed with him and tumblr made me a mad woman
You ran so we could walk. Forget unwanted Facebook memories, you WILLINGLY looked at your past. A champion. A visionary. A humanitarian.
OH MY GOD YOU SOUND LIKE KELLY KAPOOR DOING YOUR TEENAGE VOICE
When you dive into you’re old tumblr and remember what “soft ghetto” is... someone shoot me!!! 😰😰😰
You inspired me to check out my own tumblr. I wrote this in 2012 when I was 15 about a crush... I physically hate myself
"Psshh! So what if he has blue eyes as if stars from the highest realm lay within them..." and "The only water from my eyes are tears from the memory of what once could have been everything I’d wished. We’d wished…
But that’s gone now..."
The kid didn't give me the time of day and in the year of our lord 2021, he doesn't even follow me on insta.
the thirst is so real I actually love the honesty 😂
The 'having a fever thinking of your crush' sounds like what I said to my friend that missing your crush is like emotional bdsm 🌚
This was too relatable. I felt like you were reading me 😭 especially the kink part lmaooo. Like did everyone think they HAD to have a kink?
Also please please please make the follow up video.
nisa going through her tumblr archive is braver than any us marine
thank u for being so vulnerable and so brave... i started my tumblr in jan 2010 age 15 and i could not do what you have just done in this video. thank you for your service
THE GENTLEMAN I FANCY AAAAARRRRGHHH the gentleman I fancied also had a date to prom who was not me and I also cried :(