Autistic Adulthood is Difficult
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- Obviously these are all things that just have to be dealt with, and overall im very glad to have independence and not be a child anymore, but sometimes I need a bit of a moan, and id like to see more of this type of genuine frustration from people tbh
/ dana_._andersen
/ danaoandersen
ko-fi.com/dana...
/ dana_._andersen
patreon.com/DanaAndersen
I feel like I struggle with everyday chores that other people do with minimal difficulty. But they have to work which is often very difficult.
So I just get overwhelmed more easily.
for me chores are the worst, the fact that you have to wash your dishes every day... a scam... it's especially hard for me when i go back to my university flat from spending some time at a family home and suddenly i have to do shopping on my own, i don't have a dishwasher, i have to make every meal myself... it really makes me jealous of people that live with partners and can do things like that together.
The more I learn about autism, ADHD, alexithymia, and complex trauma... the easier it has become to be more self-validating and accommodate myself. I've dealt with bullying my whole life and I'm pretty triggered by the low key side-eyeing and snickering that people feel entitled to poke at me with incessantly. I try to ignore it and also try very hard to stay on script and not launch into a dissertation on some subject I'm interested in (and no one else is, lol). Being old has it's percs since I can avoid or limit human contact altogether. I cut off family several times over the years until I finally had enough and quit subjecting myself entirely. I think just allowing myself to BE myself has been the best way I've coped. Along with finding wonderful support online. Keep up your good work Dana, you've helped me through tough times. 🙏🙏🙏
Making decisions... that is my problem. Even clothing... I have an exact regime of cloths for each day of the week.
For me adult life has been far harder than childhood. Having to take on all those extra responsibilities is really difficult. I did well in education but employment has been a source of so much struggle and bad experiences. I think this is true of many autistic people - education has its challenges but for many it is one of the few areas where they have some success. My family accepted my differences (without knowing what was behind them - indeed I didn't know at the time) but those outside the family have been much less forgiving. Some autistic people do have terrible experiences in their family but I think for most it is a place where they get some acceptance. Romantic relationships can be a minefield for autists as you suggest and sometimes it's hard not to pine for those days when they weren't even on the agenda.
Yes, I thought adulthood would be easier... it's not 😢
Employment is a challenge. Yes! ❤
As retiring, there's only been four jobs (one under the table bookeeping one also) in my little life ever.
My old psych told me for some reason "if you didn't live in Canada you'd be dead or homeless."
Gee thanx for pumping up my self-image.
Adult life nts say is to "mature" us. Hells Bells there's no doing so much nts do and expect of everyone including us, they call us deficient for being born with different brains.
Although with the high masking I had myself in jobs that got me accepted, without it now, if it weren't for retirement it's sure there would be no more jobs for me.
There's no way to show up regularly anymore, no more coping with too bright too loud too busy like I could young just pushing thru it.
An old saying was 'it takes a village to raise a child' and I really think it was true but for everyone. Especially the problems you described here, I am not convinced we are supposed to be able to do it all on our own, yet alone deal with complicated problems. If anything it's the burnout that is a normal reaction to modern adult life, even with neurotypicals. We already deal with ableism and general inaccesibility of things, but I think individualism explains a lot of the problems we face too. Adults are just expected to get on with it without complaining and never ask for help but this just doesn't work for many people. A lot of places don't have any community to them anymore and the thing is life seems to be easier when people know each other. Not always easy but we should ask for help more, might even solve each others problems at the same time without realising it. Also loved the cameo of your cat!
I was diagnosed at 22 now about to be diagnosed with adhd at 27
Autism is bad enough now I realise I have both 😂😂
ASD isn't bad by itself (unless it came with a serious comorbidity, like epilepsy or IDD), it's the sheer lack of awareness and understanding that is.
@@AntonYadrov777 agreed
The only bad parts of ASD for me are the sensory issues
Looks like a lot of people agrees on this topic, hah.
In some areas, I've found it helpful to reduce options. Limited variation in food, and clothing. Shopping is a pain, but I try to do it no more than 1-2 times a week. Used to get it delivered to the door, currently using it as some physical activity. Washing clothes is my main nemesis, different types of clothing with different programs, then you gotta dry it, and then put it away, only to use and clean it again. Dish washing on a shared first place, depending on dishwasher availability, with that it's acceptable. Fucking trash bins keeps filling up too.
Adulting sucks! I was doing ok until I hit burnout & now I don't feel capable of doing anything at all 😩 (edited to make it make sense!)
"I don't wanna say the word twat in front of a load of 15 year olds" Pissed myself :D x
Completely with you on all of that ❤
Yeah, I loathe the whole appointment process and council tax arrangements.
I help with a youth group for autistic people and talking with other autistic people generally helps me. I also learn sign language and that helps me. Generally people there are kind and understanding and I don't become as quickly overwhelmed by auditory interactions.
I don't drink alcohol and I can't watch film and TV as I'm so quickly overwhelmed with auditory and visual information. I agree a lot of people around me seem to do that, which can be a bit annoying as I have no interest, but I am sure that if I move to a more natural environment, or if I look harder in different ways, then I can meet other people who prefer different things :)
10:37 is a perfect moment 🐈⬛
You should expand on your flirting problems if you want to that would be helpful rn.
i fucking hate making appointments as an autistic adult 😭😭😭
Yay, ty. i appreciated being your therapist. I listened raptly the whole time, also i smoked weed the whole time from my pipe lol and drank a sick looking energy drink. Does that sound like any therapists u have? Lol
Can't you get council tax reduction benefit? Durham County Council pays my council tax 100%.
you articulate my mess of a head
heart dana
yeah, I feel like I can't do it anymore 😭
I'm in the same place you are! 😩
that blouse looks terrific on you, Dana !
Hey Dana, I saw you in the Daði Freyr music video - very cool! :)
Please drink waterrrre ❤️🔥
Hi Dana 😁 Not me nodding throughout your entire video 😂
I gave up on romantic relationships and being social back in 2020, during "The Great Burnout of 2020" 🫠 For me personally, I dont miss it (but I am still in burnout and with my 99 problems, so 😅).
I don't rule out that I might care to be social again someday, in a very 'few and far between' kinda way, but yeah. Kudos for maintaining living with somebody and being actively social! No matter how amazing our friends, it is draining and difficult, so I get it!!
Yeah, just here to say once again I couldn't agree more and I relate to everything!
If ever I have imposter syndrome I can just watch 1 video of yours and I'm snapped right out of it 🥲🙈
The close-ups of beautiful Otis was infact the best and I'm glad you didn't move him 😂 Adorable baby boyo 💖🥰
Seriously, are you me 😂 Hearing you talk is almost identical to how I talk to myself and to my therapist!! It's kind of surreal 🙈
Even right down to what you said about other adults and how they seem more grown up and their lives revolve around their jobs etc, I think about that a lot!
I just feel mentally younger (in many ways) and fundamentally different to NT adults.
You used the EXACT words that I use regarding not having a job! The feeling "privileged" to receive disability and government financial support but also knowing you're not lucky because, well, you're living with the disabilities 🤦🏻♀️😅 Not having/maintaining a job isn't a choice for me. Personally I just can't put myself through it again.
I've been a subscriber since you reviewed Flare Audio and I remember asking you if you'd cover PIP about a year ago, and you did! 😊 I got my text today from DWP that my PIP is about to be reviewed. This will be my first review and I've been dreading it for about 2 months at this point 🙃 Wish me luck 🤦🏻♀️ I can see me having to do tribunal again 😭🤪 I just can't deal.
You're right, everything is constantly difficult and it's all "small things" to the majority.
I'm so glad you saw my comment and covered PIP when you did! Your videos help me a great deal 🙂 I hope things can be as calm, enjoyable and stress-free for you as possible, but I know life is hell 🥲 So I'm hoping for the very best for you 🙏
As always, give your furbabies my love 😸💖🐾