He would probably enjoy the fact that the so called "angry men in combat fatigues talking to god on a two way radio and muttering incoherent slogans about freedom" and "business men" formed a political party and called it libertarian. What a fucking joke.
he's not even funny- boring people with stupidity listening to him is like being sentenced to death. Compared to Trevor Noah from South AFrica he was an embarrassment to comedy.
He's right, it's ridiculous. I've flown a hundred times and they still pat me down at the airport or make me stay for "extra security". Double digit IQ could not be more right. TSA=thousands standing around.
This routine must have been recorded before the September 11th attacks, though. Notice how he doesn't say TSA, which was created after the attacks. If he were talking about the TSA, he'd probably point to them by name for the massive annoyance and fuck-all benefit they present to travelers. On top of that, maybe it might be a crazy assumption, but if he actually looked up all the guidelines to what you can bring onto a plane, notice how it includes a bunch of bladed instruments you can't take on a plane now. I wonder if he redacted this after the Patriot Act. I imagine it would be even more hilarious than this is.
Tell me about it. I once flew just one way and so the security checked everything I had. They even opened a thing which was still on its original wrapping! And the kicker is that I had a syringe and some medicine in one of the bags which I had to take in few days (Vaccination that I couldn't take before the flight but which I needed.) and they never found it! The guys failed at the job they were paid to do and my bags were "carefully" searched!
That’s funny, my AP English teacher introduced Carlin to us in Junior year. She was teaching about Rhetoric (actually it was THIS specific video she played!!!). That’s funny, lmao.
Blue insight? I wouldn't call it insight, he knows that white (some non whites too) Americans would much rather have no freedom, and think that there's some asshole with a grip on things, it's pathetic. Same reason why there are so many Christians around.
The airways are only as safe as the pilots psychological state. you can have all the security check point clearances and advanced airport security tech implemented. But nothing is stopping that pilot who is hell bent on crashing the plane because he is angry at the world.
I had a conversation with a former pilot and he was saying that the pilots are always making mistakes when they fly a plane is just that nobody knows about it obviously nobody needs to know that information because they would be freaking out but yeah it's not as safe as we think it is
One time I responded to the question "business or pleasure ?" with "neither, I'm here to see relatives". Needless to say I was taken to a small room and brutally murdered until I was dead.
"He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night, fixed me a lovely Lobster Newburg, gave me a full-body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a fourway around the world and then they packed my bags."
Daniel Sutfin Agreed would love to hear what he has to say about the state of affairs we are in now. The passing of Carlin was the passing of a brilliant mind.
When they asked me if I was flying for business or pleasure, I looked at the guy and said "I dono, what cha got in mind?" Wrong answer, he was not amused.
+The One Who Knocks Hey DB Copper. This is an amazing coincidence. There is a new theory about DB Cooper and it's all about....Airport Security! Back then a lot of planes were being hijacked, domestic flights were particularly vulnerable. The theory goes that DB Cooper was actually ex military/CIA and that the entire hijacking was never about the money, it was all about scaring the American people so the government could pass new laws to increase Airport Security and they did after DB Cooper! That is why none of the money was ever found in circulation (spent) and that he would have known the bills would have been marked. This story comes from a woman who said her uncle or father or something like that confessed he was DB Cooper (I know a few have) but what was different about this confession is that it had credibility. The uncle or father or whatever _was_ ex military and had dealing with the CIA or some other intelligence agency. I find this to be thee most plausible explanation for the entire DB Cooper incident. I believe he survived, I believe he buried the money (some bills were found) and I believe it was orchestrated for the sole purpose of creating new laws for airport security!
This is basically George Carlin telling us "Hahaha, i'm gonna be gone soon, you fuckwits. Good luck and God speed bastards. I'm catchin' the next flight to where ever the hell away from here". Love you, GC. RIP.
Paul Revere Well it was actually not that soon. He wasn't gone until like 9 and 1/2 years after this special. But your comment is pretty good. We miss you George Carlin RIP.
good, that's what he wanted: for people to not only wake up but SPEAK up. i do it all the time now, i don't give a shit how big or powerful a person is, i verbally lay into people at every opportunity. most of 'em fuckin' need it.
Chris Nichols Too many stupid people, not enough intelligent people. You can call people out on their bullshit all day, but stupid doesn't learn. Call them on on their bullshit because it's fun, not because you want to see change. If you want change, then you're going to be sorely disappointed.
It is for the same reason you can't yell fire in a theater. Joking about the wrong thing in a crowd of unattentive people can cause a panic and result in an unnecessary fiasco or worse, actual harm. Use your head. Maybe focus on getting to your destination instead of taking time out of everyone's day to be that one asshole who just had to spit his moronic one liner with shit delivery where barely anyone could tell he was joking.
+Prabhjot Singh Gambhir His joke is that consumerist America cannot resist the urge to see everything as entertainment. He's merely making fun of this fucked up culture that sensationalizes terrorists and terrorism as if they were just another episode of the Monday night Soap Opera. If you think that that is offensive to the families of the victims, then take your case up with the news agencies that relentlessly exploit the images of theirs deaths for mere ratings, take it up with the people who are constantly galvanizing fear of terrorists and terrorist attacks to advance their political agendas, take it up with all the morons who enjoy the constant streaming of this fear porn on national television, but don't blame a comedian for making a joke that exposes a fucked up part of his culture.
+Sebastian Jimenez Bienen First of all i'm not blaming anyone, it's just my opinion. You're right about the part that the media sensationalizes it all but the other side to that would be that they probably show it that much to really put emphasis on the gravity of the situation, and hold the terrorists accountable so that people don't get lenient and forget the terrorists for what they have done, and the justice that they are ought to be served. Again.. Just an opinion.
If you paid any attention to what he said, he WAS a SJW. Sure, he'd object to a lot of the tactics SJWs use, but he always stuck up for marginalized groups. And no, I very much doubt he'd include men as a marginalized group. Sorry ;_;
I wish he was alive to talk about Clinton vs Trump. I can't stand both of them, but apparently one of them will be the next president. 2016 is a gold mine of material.
It would be horrible because you'd end up with a situation of, a real liberal being attacked by false ones. The same people he used to speak up for would jump all over him, he'd probably throw in the towel, saying "I told you so"
"HUR HUR, WISH CARLIN WAS ALIVE SO HE COULD SKEWER SJWS!" * continues to vote for people who want to build a giant useless wall and send an obscene amount of troops that could be used to actually defend our country as well as take money for this wall that could be used for education, infrastructure and balancing the budget to feel the illusion of safety*
George is in a better place. His new job is as St Carlin, he decides who gets into heaven. Just to see all the faces on those religious nuts when they get there.
Give it time and they'll be an incident where some van or truck loaded with those illegal bath salts/synthetic marijuana will crash into a town water supply and make people loop out. Then you'll see a bunch of people high off their rocker taking bites out of each other and other people like they're quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonalds.
Carlin was actually the grandfather i never had. He helped me get through the noise of society and learned me how to discretely mock it and ignore it so you can focus on the things that matter. Can't believe how much an impact this wise man has had on my life.
@@treasuretrovecove59yea but he's an American Saint so everything he said is Gospel and quoted as such, without considering any of it's actual meaning/worth
This is my favorite George Carlin routine. It's so hard to believe has been dead for ten years already. We truly lost a legend. May 12th, 1937- June 22nd, 2008
Carlin died in 2008. I wonder how he'd have dealt with the past few years here in 2023. Would he puss out like Howard Stern? Or, would he have held strong against the man?
I made a joke at the airport once. The lady who gives out the tickets spent about 10-15 minutes looking at my sisters box which clearly had bottles of makeup in it, you could see them through the holes covered by scotch tape. But, after this 15 minutes of deductive reasoning, she takes a pause and says "im going to have to take a look inside of that" as if the purple bottle suddenly looked suspicious enough to validate concern. I looked over to her and waved my hands "NO DON'T!" You dont wanna do that, its actually a high tech nuclear explosive. She gave me a disappointing leer. I decided to cheer her up and I lifted up my metal PlayStation 2 carrying case "and this is a box of Cuban cigars". She kept her leer though and said to me, mind you im like 14 at the time, sir we do not joke about bombs in the airport. Still one of the happiest moment is my life, somewhat satisfying.
Geez... the bit where he's talking about fundamentalist and guys in fatigues talking to God on a 2-way radio is just a wee bit closer to home than I'd like. It was supposed to be humor and now it's the news.
This was fucking prophetic, and the fact that several people to this day miss the point of thiss entire routine by asking "Was he serious about being entertained by terrorism?" just proves him right even more
"...angry men in combat fatigues, talking to God on a two-way radio, and muttering incoherent slogans about freedom..." That time George Carlin predicted the rash of white conservative terrorism...
I've never been able to laugh at carlin's standup. I've cried many times but never laughed. Everything he says is so horrifically truthful it puts a question mark over the very existence of humankind. His comedy spells tragedy for the wise.
Well, first of all i love this sketch, but they won't let you take knives onboard planes. At least not at any airport i've been to. And in Norway, the security is a lot less paranoid than they are in the US. When i got to new york, they did a scan because my belt had metal, i forgot to remove it and it beeped. I was like 8 yrs old at the time, and didn't speak english. My dad was trying to come closer to tell the guards i could hardly understand the instructions they where giving me, but they wouldn't hear a word and almost pushed him away. So i seriously doubt they would let you bring a knife, let alone a chainsaw
You do know this was from quite a long time ago. Rules change over time. I think this was even before 9/11, so regulations probably tightened up a little since then.
trom2004 you know, if he talked about this nowdays and if he was still alive, he could go on forever about it lol. regulations have gone OVER BOARD since then. seriously, its gotten out of control how secure they make people. what he talks about in this video is nothing compared to nowdays lol
Well what I took away from that is there are gray areas in which things like that are not directly stated. So if you fought hard enough you could technically get them on board (legally). So a Chainsaw is obviously rediculas but I don't it's something that they'd state outright as something you can't bring on.
yeah. you wouldnt be able to take any of that stuff really. this one time that i went on an airplane and they had to take away my nail clippers. literally, THATS apparently a threat!
George observed people closely. That made him see into what could happen. Look how the same scum bags keep getting reelected when they should be fired by the voters.
I grew up listening to Carlin, talk abt leaving the kids alone. He's hilarious throughout the decades such a genius one of the greats that will be missed
Also later in the episode about 11 minutes in, he's talking about a super virus. Lol. He was definitely way ahead and practically predicted the future.
“AS LONG AS YOU PUT UP WITH IT!”~G.Carlin. (Everything wrong with politicians in a democracy is the people’s fault because they allow it. Politicians in communist countries will kill you because the citizens don’t revolt. It’s your responsibility to fight for your freedoms at all times.) R.I.P. George ❤️
I flew from Australia into Dubai, border security ask me how did you get into Dubai now I thought that was a dumb question, I just stepped of a plane, so for the hell of it, I said I jumped from a parachute security was called 4 burly men appeared with sub machine guns, border security asked me again how did I get into Dubai so for the hell of it I said I was dropped of by a Russian nuclear submarine. This time they got angry I was taken to one of there interrogation rooms, security they got on there computers and came back to me apparently they explained you have no departure stamp on your password, Australia has a biometric system, idiot there was no apology, will never go back there again.
This man kept me laughing for years. Though I didn’t agree with him on religion, he was till funny on almost everything. I wish he was still here to ridicule Antifa, social justice warriors, safe spaces, the easily offended, and the 2016 election.
I love seeing y'all think Carlin would be on your side. Carlin was an equal-opportunity hater. No one was above reproach. Carlin consistently punched up, however. At the time, the ultra religious conservatives were in power so they were Carlin's targets. Today, I think he would still shit on the right (especially Trump) but he would also take massive shits on the left. Does no one remember his "soft language makes soft people" bit? He would have railed SJWs for being whinny and constantly triggered. The motherfucker joked about rape for fuck's sake!
@@elnova3854 wait, what? He also has a whole bit calling out religion for being a massive grift, designed to control the masses. Are you sure you haven't seen that one? I'd say it's pretty dang popular. "Religion easily has the greatest bullshit stoy of all time."
We could really use George Carlin right now. Good God, could you imagine him today? Between SJW's, Trump, Hillary, Obama, Pence, Sanders, ISIS, Aleppo, BLM, The ACA, and Climate Change on top of all of that??? OH. MY. GAWD. The Hilarity that would ensue from Carlin talking about those things would be biblical. I would pay any amount of money to see that show.
I will seriously consider the second coming of Jesus if we get another George Carlin.The man was too smart for us then, and he's too smart for us now. All we get are sellouts now.Carlin reigned hell on the establishment, and he still got invited to talk shit at the national press club.
I hate all the airports nowadays, especially the big ones, because you have to walk even up to one hour to get from a terminal/gate to another. If Carlin said all this so many years ago, he should see NOW what a nerve racking is to travel... Million extra rules, away poorer flying conditions, so on. Not to mention about the airport security - if they see something "suspicious" in your hand luggage, they will tell you to pull everything out so they can see what is it. And you obey. They discover the "dangerous" object: "Oh, those are just some keys?" or "That's a lighter? It has a weird shape. Okay, you can go." So then, you try to put back all of your belongings. But guess what? It's impossible to fit them in anymore, therefore you can't zip the hand luggage. You try, and try, while none of the security guys will help you out, although they keep staring at you. You are about to miss your flight, because it's getting late. You start running to the gate. And when you finally get there, breathless and sweating like a pig, a voice announces: "The flight will be delayed by 30 min. or more. Sorry about that." FO!
Ahh, George Carlin, he narrated Thomas the Tank Engine with Ringo Starr when i was a kid, and now he's making me laugh as an adult. We'll all miss him a lot
this is one of my favorite comedy bits EVER! He started off with airport security, and then went into germs/food poisoning/cleanliness. i never will get tired of his stuff! his delivery was awesome! in his early years, he stalked the stage. in his last years, he pretty much stood in one place on stage. he was awesomely funny, one of the funniest EVER!,
While I know he's not serious, he's mostly right about the bombs except that the check is there to protect the plane (company property) rather than individual human lives. Planes cost a lot of money and ruin the reputation of the business if they go down. That being said, Carlin was indeed in a lane of his own.
Except he was dead-on accurate. The 9/11 hijackers killed the crew with weapons that could be brought on the planes. No guns. No bombs. And they answered the three questions. Check the video of the ticketing agent who was suspicious of Mohammed Atta, but didn't say anything out of fear he was profiling him.
Can you IMAGINE what George would be thinking now!? He'd have enough material for 10,000 years!
He'd have a lot say about our touchscreen phones.
"Enjoy the show. Take a fuckin' chance!" ~ He already had it figured out!!!
+Kyle Stubbs Not to mention Donald Trump XD
He would probably enjoy the fact that the so called "angry men in combat fatigues talking to god on a two way radio and muttering incoherent slogans about freedom" and "business men" formed a political party and called it libertarian. What a fucking joke.
he's not even funny- boring people with stupidity listening to him is like being sentenced to death. Compared to Trevor Noah from South AFrica he was an embarrassment to comedy.
The fact that 9/11 happend proves his point.
Txtspeak this is from 1999 though
I Couldn't Think Of A Username so I made this one- ya this is from You're All Diseased
It's insane how right on he is.
itss depressing if this guy walks his people around bu never into himself
@@disorderrgv well yeah that was @hellsgunz1006’s point
He's right, it's ridiculous. I've flown a hundred times and they still pat me down at the airport or make me stay for "extra security". Double digit IQ could not be more right. TSA=thousands standing around.
This routine must have been recorded before the September 11th attacks, though. Notice how he doesn't say TSA, which was created after the attacks. If he were talking about the TSA, he'd probably point to them by name for the massive annoyance and fuck-all benefit they present to travelers. On top of that, maybe it might be a crazy assumption, but if he actually looked up all the guidelines to what you can bring onto a plane, notice how it includes a bunch of bladed instruments you can't take on a plane now.
I wonder if he redacted this after the Patriot Act. I imagine it would be even more hilarious than this is.
He's not a hundred percent right.
Tell me about it. I once flew just one way and so the security checked everything I had. They even opened a thing which was still on its original wrapping!
And the kicker is that I had a syringe and some medicine in one of the bags which I had to take in few days (Vaccination that I couldn't take before the flight but which I needed.) and they never found it! The guys failed at the job they were paid to do and my bags were "carefully" searched!
Josh McSwain This would be perfect for screwing with the TSA!
shows you how uninformed he was there's actually been Future Terror Attacks Stopped because of security.
imagine an Airport with NO security?
I'm offended I wasn't shown Carlin in school.
He was the US narrator of the original thomas the tank engine series
Robob Kerman really
That’s funny, my AP English teacher introduced Carlin to us in Junior year. She was teaching about Rhetoric (actually it was THIS specific video she played!!!). That’s funny, lmao.
How about a riddle 😂
Me too
Carlin's insight is incredible. With what he had said, it's almost as if he had visited present day.
Blue insight? I wouldn't call it insight, he knows that white (some non whites too) Americans would much rather have no freedom, and think that there's some asshole with a grip on things, it's pathetic. Same reason why there are so many Christians around.
the only fucking corner of existence
The issues are unresolved, therefore the sme
I'm convinced he was a time traveller, so much of his material makes perfect sense and that's decades after he told us, the GOAT.
This is 1999.
+Mvem And this is 2016. And it is even MORE true and FAR worse today :(
+swytchblayd indeed it is....we need more people like george carlin in this world....too bad he passed away :( R.I.P George Carlin
"The odds of you getting blown up by a terrorist are practically ZERO!" Sadly terrorism is all over the place now.
odds are still pretty close to fucking zero
This was 2005
The airways are only as safe as the pilots psychological state. you can have all the security check point clearances and advanced airport security tech implemented. But nothing is stopping that pilot who is hell bent on crashing the plane because he is angry at the world.
Afro samurai Yup happend in Germany a few months ago..
RolletjeTape
yeah it was all over the news hard to not hear about that one.
Afro samurai Why I can never be a pilot. XD
I had a conversation with a former pilot and he was saying that the pilots are always making mistakes when they fly a plane is just that nobody knows about it obviously nobody needs to know that information because they would be freaking out but yeah it's not as safe as we think it is
They do any way they want even kind of teaching people what can make a bomb. It is job creation.
How can they allow people with black belts in martial arts fly? Their bodies are lethal weapons!
I don't know, but I'm allowed (I'm a black belt) lol.
I have a black belt. It's leather and it holds up my pants, but I'm allowed (even tho I can strangle someone with it).
or even something ironic like, your own tie...
Its Aaron Black belts are typically useless, boxing is a superior martial art and one of the geatest martial arts one can learn.
thai boxing tho
One time I responded to the question "business or pleasure ?" with "neither, I'm here to see relatives". Needless to say I was taken to a small room and brutally murdered until I was dead.
Haha and then what ;)
+Granulated did he died?
Joseph Dredd About 7 years ago.
+Granulated You died?... well, I for one am glad you're feeling better.
+Granulated omg I'm so sorry for you, did you get out ok?
Help this man get better, 1 liek =1 prayer
"No carrot top packed my bags." Classic
"He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night, fixed me a lovely Lobster Newburg, gave me a full-body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a fourway around the world and then they packed my bags."
George you always told the truth if you could only see how bad it is now
Daniel Sutfin Agreed would love to hear what he has to say about the state of affairs we are in now. The passing of Carlin was the passing of a brilliant mind.
Daniel Sutfin He's only been gone a relatively short time, yet he'd have a balltoday !
***** A lot has changed in 7 years, it's worse.
very true...
+Daniel Sutfin Well, ain't it cruel of you to wish such thing for our poor old fuck)
"What are you gonna do, play with yer prick for another 30 years?"
So far so good
hope yopur not a politician trying to mop the ceiling
Honestly, after he said that I thought to myself: there’s nothing wrong with that. Sounds fun. 🤷🏻♂️
“Cause I don’t have pet peeves. I have major psychotic fucking hatreds, okay?”
You and me both, George.
When they asked me if I was flying for business or pleasure, I looked at the guy and said "I dono, what cha got in mind?" Wrong answer, he was not amused.
lol.
+Bobbie LaVanway I had a fist in my ass when i said this.
I can't say i didn't enjoy it, but i didn't dislike it either.
+Bobbie LaVanway Pleasure is my business.
+The One Who Knocks Hey DB Copper. This is an amazing coincidence. There is a new theory about DB Cooper and it's all about....Airport Security! Back then a lot of planes were being hijacked, domestic flights were particularly vulnerable.
The theory goes that DB Cooper was actually ex military/CIA and that the entire hijacking was never about the money, it was all about scaring the American people so the government could pass new laws to increase Airport Security and they did after DB Cooper!
That is why none of the money was ever found in circulation (spent) and that he would have known the bills would have been marked.
This story comes from a woman who said her uncle or father or something like that confessed he was DB Cooper (I know a few have) but what was different about this confession is that it had credibility. The uncle or father or whatever _was_ ex military and had dealing with the CIA or some other intelligence agency. I find this to be thee most plausible explanation for the entire DB Cooper incident. I believe he survived, I believe he buried the money (some bills were found) and I believe it was orchestrated for the sole purpose of creating new laws for airport security!
Did someone mention me?
Carlin was always spot on. Even in late 2023 his material still holds 100% accuracy.
"You notice drug smugglers don't seem to have a lot of problem getting their bag on board! And GOD BLESS THEM TOO"
George Carlin
This is basically George Carlin telling us "Hahaha, i'm gonna be gone soon, you fuckwits. Good luck and God speed bastards. I'm catchin' the next flight to where ever the hell away from here".
Love you, GC. RIP.
Paul Revere Well it was actually not that soon. He wasn't gone until like 9 and 1/2 years after this special. But your comment is pretty good. We miss you George Carlin RIP.
George is inspiring me. I'm just gonna start calling people out on their shit all the time now
good, that's what he wanted: for people to not only wake up but SPEAK up. i do it all the time now, i don't give a shit how big or powerful a person is, i verbally lay into people at every opportunity. most of 'em fuckin' need it.
+rongermanjr Hallelujah! Free fucking speech for everybody!! Fuck that douchy political correctness of these days. Tell it like it is god damn it. ☺
Z.
Yes!
Chris Nichols Too many stupid people, not enough intelligent people. You can call people out on their bullshit all day, but stupid doesn't learn. Call them on on their bullshit because it's fun, not because you want to see change. If you want change, then you're going to be sorely disappointed.
Someone has to go to the airport and answer each question as he did and video tape it.
Miguel Cabrera
Miguel Cabrera they'd more than likely to get arrested tgree different ways.
Video Tape? Is this 1990?
Studio Papa it was when he did this show.
He is dead-on about bomb jokes. If airport security is so threatened by JOKES, they are functionally useless.
They confiscate fruits, and let you take sharp things on board. I'm done trying to figure it out.
Don't be an idiot. Non-native plants and animals can be massively detrimental to both a countries environment and economy.
Retrovirus => so why we have kiwis, bananas, mangoes... In UK? And the country still exists and economy is OK?
Pete Roz probably because those aren’t invasive species
It is for the same reason you can't yell fire in a theater. Joking about the wrong thing in a crowd of unattentive people can cause a panic and result in an unnecessary fiasco or worse, actual harm. Use your head. Maybe focus on getting to your destination instead of taking time out of everyone's day to be that one asshole who just had to spit his moronic one liner with shit delivery where barely anyone could tell he was joking.
He was right about the entertainment venues, Paris recent attack is proof
Yup.
But i think calling it as a form of entertainment sounds a bit offensive to those who've just lost their families in the attacks.
+Prabhjot Singh Gambhir Tell that to the news and media channels!
+Prabhjot Singh Gambhir His joke is that consumerist America cannot resist the urge to see everything as entertainment. He's merely making fun of this fucked up culture that sensationalizes terrorists and terrorism as if they were just another episode of the Monday night Soap Opera. If you think that that is offensive to the families of the victims, then take your case up with the news agencies that relentlessly exploit the images of theirs deaths for mere ratings, take it up with the people who are constantly galvanizing fear of terrorists and terrorist attacks to advance their political agendas, take it up with all the morons who enjoy the constant streaming of this fear porn on national television, but don't blame a comedian for making a joke that exposes a fucked up part of his culture.
+Sebastian Jimenez Bienen First of all i'm not blaming anyone, it's just my opinion. You're right about the part that the media sensationalizes it all but the other side to that would be that they probably show it that much to really put emphasis on the gravity of the situation, and hold the terrorists accountable so that people don't get lenient and forget the terrorists for what they have done, and the justice that they are ought to be served.
Again.. Just an opinion.
+Prabhjot Singh Gambhir He died years before that happened.
Ahh...Pre 9/11 air travel was great,
+Arnar Er Besturson This was pre 9/11. It's from 1999 lol.
+xDavidx Yep. That's what he said
Alex Doyle He said pre 9/11 air travel was great. This pre 9/11 video is about how air travel is not great.
Hellboy :: I was just going to comment this. It was even shitty back then.
"you could kill a pilot with a plastic knife" this was before 9/11.....
What? they don't even give you a plastic knife anymore?
+Killer2600 Nah, you cut your stakes with your sense of security
This was before 9/11 oh boy lol
Jerry Leal 911 waw inside job soooo. no one on the plaje had a bomb
first 48 seems like quite the educated person
This was in 2005.
Tony Harding "You Are All Diseased," the standup special from which this clip comes, was recorded on 6 Feb 1999.
Puddle Zerg why do you need to be an asshole about seriously !!!!!!
He would find SJWs entertaining.
You earn a like mate.
i think he'd also find people who use terms like 'social justice warrior' funny.
Zapp Rogerstein of course he would.
he finds everything funny remember there is nothing you cant joke about
If you paid any attention to what he said, he WAS a SJW.
Sure, he'd object to a lot of the tactics SJWs use, but he always stuck up for marginalized groups. And no, I very much doubt he'd include men as a marginalized group. Sorry ;_;
I wish he was alive to talk about Clinton vs Trump. I can't stand both of them, but apparently one of them will be the next president. 2016 is a gold mine of material.
silentArtist00 Exactly.
It would be horrible because you'd end up with a situation of, a real liberal being attacked by false ones. The same people he used to speak up for would jump all over him, he'd probably throw in the towel, saying "I told you so"
I’m glad it was trump🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
silentArtist00 2016 - 2018 would’ve been his Diamond Mind for material but NO, MOTHER NATURE JUST HAD TO BE A BITCH AGAIN.
silentArtist00 Now that it's 2017 and Trump is in charge, George would have enough material for the next two to four years.
"Before your economy collapses" oh, just a little under 10 years, America.
Merica #1
@@aaronthompsom7426 Number one country of assholes on the planet*
This man predicted everything
Hambo where are you from?
IAmTHEGoD0fHELLFIRE what country are you from?
Not only is this guy hilarious, he’s also smart as hell too!
Now he’s smart as heaven
We miss you George Carlin. God please give our George back to us and we'll give you Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, and all the Kardashians in exchange.
+hondagoal ALL the Kardashians? Sounds like more than a good trade to me!
Yes. And we'll throw in Hillary and Trump as a bonus. HOW you take them, however, is up to you. Kill their asses however you deem fit.
not trump just hillary
hondagoal GOD wants none of those people.
This Guy
Ironically he wanted George
this guy knows his country very well. this should have be the president.
“No, Carrot Top packed my bags” always gets me lol
at least he didn't say "Carrot Top packed my shit!" 😁
Best part me and friends always quoted that anytime someone would ask us a dumb question we would always respond with carrot top answer
Same
"HUR HUR, WISH CARLIN WAS ALIVE SO HE COULD SKEWER SJWS!"
* continues to vote for people who want to build a giant useless wall and send an obscene amount of troops that could be used to actually defend our country as well as take money for this wall that could be used for education, infrastructure and balancing the budget to feel the illusion of safety*
Everytime someone says "you shouldn't joke about that"
*well how about a riddle?*
George is in a better place. His new job is as St Carlin, he decides who gets into heaven. Just to see all the faces on those religious nuts when they get there.
I hope he believes in reincarnation.
+Kyle Stubbs He was an atheist.
Well, that's a disservice for us more than anything.
If Jesus is real, then he's in Hell.
If Jesus is real, George Carlin would be one of his best friends.
He was prophetic, and his words continue to apply in so many situations.
not prophetic... just realist !
"Anthrax in your water supply" or, you know, lead
or shit...literal feces
Tony Bublitz or methane
chlorine
Give it time and they'll be an incident where some van or truck loaded with those illegal bath salts/synthetic marijuana will crash into a town water supply and make people loop out. Then you'll see a bunch of people high off their rocker taking bites out of each other and other people like they're quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonalds.
yup! Flint, Michigan!
Carlin was actually the grandfather i never had. He helped me get through the noise of society and learned me how to discretely mock it and ignore it so you can focus on the things that matter. Can't believe how much an impact this wise man has had on my life.
In the words of *Benjamin Franklin*
_"Those that would trade freedom for security deserve neither."_
He was dumb. Why do you wear a seatbelt? Or waste 30 seconds of your life at a red life? Aren’t you sacrificing freedom? Why? The obvious.
@@treasuretrovecove59yea but he's an American Saint so everything he said is Gospel and quoted as such, without considering any of it's actual meaning/worth
People quote the founding fathers like it's immortal gold. It's way past 1776...
@@bryanx0317
I only gave the quote because it's relevant, not because a Founding Father said it. I just gave credit so I'm not plagiarizing lol
This is my favorite George Carlin routine. It's so hard to believe has been dead for ten years already. We truly lost a legend.
May 12th, 1937- June 22nd, 2008
Damn . The great recession killed him. He probably couldnt handle all the blatant corruption
This must have been before 9/11
more chance of being killed by police or lightning than terror.. i want a war on lightning 1% are the real terror
It's from his "You Are All Diseased" special, filmed in 1999.....at least a year and a half before 9/11.
.
Teddy Callow
Google search the info I have above.
Teddy Callow That's the date the video was uploaded you moron.
He's the only non prophet to be so prophetic. We will be referring to him for the next 100yrs.
Carlin died in 2008. I wonder how he'd have dealt with the past few years here in 2023. Would he puss out like Howard Stern? Or, would he have held strong against the man?
He would be cranking out material left and right! 😭😭 He would be an Alt-Right Extremist today
@@rsantero he’d get eaten alive by his own community Ala Lindsay Ellis
One of my psychotic hatreds are airport security...
"You can't take your water bottle on the plane ma'am"
"…you saw me drink this"
The Illusion of safety is it.
We just need to listen.
I made a joke at the airport once. The lady who gives out the tickets spent about 10-15 minutes looking at my sisters box which clearly had bottles of makeup in it, you could see them through the holes covered by scotch tape. But, after this 15 minutes of deductive reasoning, she takes a pause and says "im going to have to take a look inside of that" as if the purple bottle suddenly looked suspicious enough to validate concern. I looked over to her and waved my hands "NO DON'T!" You dont wanna do that, its actually a high tech nuclear explosive. She gave me a disappointing leer. I decided to cheer her up and I lifted up my metal PlayStation 2 carrying case "and this is a box of Cuban cigars". She kept her leer though and said to me, mind you im like 14 at the time, sir we do not joke about bombs in the airport. Still one of the happiest moment is my life, somewhat satisfying.
George Carlin was a great comedian one of the best I'd say
This guy inspires me so much
I just reached adulthood, and I feel so lucky to have heard Carlin's words in my youth. The man was a true genius. Too bad he's gone.
Dude this comment is 10 years old 🎉
Not just a comedian, but a prophesizer if you pay close enough attention to his material. He will truly be missed !
Geez... the bit where he's talking about fundamentalist and guys in fatigues talking to God on a 2-way radio is just a wee bit closer to home than I'd like. It was supposed to be humor and now it's the news.
In this standup, he also mentions not caring about guns in school but JUST WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE GOES BATSHIT AND SHOOTS UP A FUCKING CHURCH.
Respect for the invisible man in the sky?
I don't see that happening.
"every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess" when our Lord Jesus returns
Justin Gore-Rowe taking him a while isn't it. Maybe he's been locked in a sanitarium for calling himself Jesus come again.
The accuracy is depressing...
This was fucking prophetic, and the fact that several people to this day miss the point of thiss entire routine by asking "Was he serious about being entertained by terrorism?" just proves him right even more
This guy sounds like the joker
Yuvraj Sandhu Holy shit, you're right
Yuvraj Sandhu he's what would've happened if the jokers stand up career had taken off
He is. Not only literally, but he really just wanted to watch the world burn.
In his earlier videos some people have he looks like Jack Nicholson who once played the joker in a batman movie
@unknown anon Ironically both died in 2008.
"i dont have pet peeves, i have major fuckin' psychotic hatreds"
-George Carlin
Last words: 'As long as you put up with it.'
This was before 9/11
We need someone like George for today's time
"...angry men in combat fatigues, talking to God on a two-way radio, and muttering incoherent slogans about freedom..."
That time George Carlin predicted the rash of white conservative terrorism...
+Eric Seader i'm the sure people of San Bernardino think he's literally clairvoyant...
I'm confused, because San Bernadino was shot up by a Syed Rizwan Farook and a Tashfan Malik, not by a Billybob Jones and Barbara Smith.
Eric Jay
Well, the bomb thing didn’t age well:/
And this is the guy that made my childhood great with Thomas the Tank Engine. He's the best.
and just think....this skit was pre-9/11.
He thought security was annoying back then. This was prior to TSA.
I wouldn't surprised if guys with big hands get banned next.
"They actually give you a fucking knife" 😂. He never gets old!
10,000,000,000% correct to this day
He wrote that joke before 9/11 😭
Oh the fun he'd have today if he were alive. The government twitter War on Christmas stuff oh so much stuff for him to play with!
He'd be like a fat kid in an endless candy store haha
I've never been able to laugh at carlin's standup. I've cried many times but never laughed. Everything he says is so horrifically truthful it puts a question mark over the very existence of humankind. His comedy spells tragedy for the wise.
Well, first of all i love this sketch, but they won't let you take knives onboard planes. At least not at any airport i've been to. And in Norway, the security is a lot less paranoid than they are in the US. When i got to new york, they did a scan because my belt had metal, i forgot to remove it and it beeped. I was like 8 yrs old at the time, and didn't speak english. My dad was trying to come closer to tell the guards i could hardly understand the instructions they where giving me, but they wouldn't hear a word and almost pushed him away. So i seriously doubt they would let you bring a knife, let alone a chainsaw
You do know this was from quite a long time ago. Rules change over time. I think this was even before 9/11, so regulations probably tightened up a little since then.
This was in the 90s. Back then you could take knives.
trom2004
you know, if he talked about this nowdays and if he was still alive, he could go on forever about it lol. regulations have gone OVER BOARD since then. seriously, its gotten out of control how secure they make people. what he talks about in this video is nothing compared to nowdays lol
Well what I took away from that is there are gray areas in which things like that are not directly stated. So if you fought hard enough you could technically get them on board (legally). So a Chainsaw is obviously rediculas but I don't it's something that they'd state outright as something you can't bring on.
yeah. you wouldnt be able to take any of that stuff really. this one time that i went on an airplane and they had to take away my nail clippers. literally, THATS apparently a threat!
"Entertainment Venues"
Jesus fucking CHRIST he just described the Manchester bombing.
He was a comic prophet! Pretty much everything he said, has come true
He's so real. Hilarious and speaking the truth at the same time
25 years ago, George Carlin knew what was going to happen
George observed people closely. That made him see into what could happen. Look how the same scum bags keep getting reelected when they should be fired by the voters.
I grew up listening to Carlin, talk abt leaving the kids alone. He's hilarious throughout the decades such a genius one of the greats that will be missed
6:16 is more true than he could have ever imagine considering the riots that just happened recently.
6:16 The tail end of 2020 and early 2021 in a nutshell
Also later in the episode about 11 minutes in, he's talking about a super virus. Lol. He was definitely way ahead and practically predicted the future.
I don't have pet peeves....i have major .... LMAO
“AS LONG AS YOU PUT UP WITH IT!”~G.Carlin.
(Everything wrong with politicians in a democracy is the people’s fault because they allow it. Politicians in communist countries will kill you because the citizens don’t revolt. It’s your responsibility to fight for your freedoms at all times.)
R.I.P. George ❤️
At least he didn't say box cutter. I would have to accuse him of co-conspiring lol
Can you imagine what George would be saying today with lockdowns, shutdowns, and mask mandates.
Legend.
Airport security...…….he is right...….they have no sense of humor at all.
Carlin is a legend. He told it how it is. He will always be missed. In 100 years, I feel that he'll be a major part of history.
I flew from Australia into Dubai, border security ask me how did you get into Dubai now I thought that was a dumb question, I just stepped of a plane, so for the hell of it, I said I jumped from a parachute security was called 4 burly men appeared with sub machine guns, border security asked me again how did I get into Dubai so for the hell of it I said I was dropped of by a Russian nuclear submarine.
This time they got angry I was taken to one of there interrogation rooms, security they got on there computers and came back to me apparently they explained you have no departure stamp on your password, Australia has a biometric system, idiot there was no apology, will never go back there again.
Next time get a stamp, countries still like that old system of records.
George Carlin is a legend he explains everything so eloquently.
Will get stamp but then I have no fun fucking them around at the airport ha ha joking.
Why are nice people stopping?
when he said he'd use his audience for his fun as well, it was a perfect moment to say "and that's why I brought a bomb here"
I know what you're thinking this was filmed in 1999 and it's still relevant today.
More relevant
This man kept me laughing for years. Though I didn’t agree with him on religion, he was till funny on almost everything.
I wish he was still here to ridicule Antifa, social justice warriors, safe spaces, the easily offended, and the 2016 election.
I love seeing y'all think Carlin would be on your side. Carlin was an equal-opportunity hater. No one was above reproach. Carlin consistently punched up, however. At the time, the ultra religious conservatives were in power so they were Carlin's targets. Today, I think he would still shit on the right (especially Trump) but he would also take massive shits on the left. Does no one remember his "soft language makes soft people" bit? He would have railed SJWs for being whinny and constantly triggered. The motherfucker joked about rape for fuck's sake!
Reclusive Person he wasnt joking on religion , he was making fun off the priests , these animals
Angry Leprechaun Damn right. He'd still be making fun of everyone
Speaking of religion, which is always real and never lies, could I internet any of you in Peter Popoff’s Miracle Water?
@@elnova3854 wait, what? He also has a whole bit calling out religion for being a massive grift, designed to control the masses.
Are you sure you haven't seen that one? I'd say it's pretty dang popular.
"Religion easily has the greatest bullshit stoy of all time."
We could really use George Carlin right now. Good God, could you imagine him today? Between SJW's, Trump, Hillary, Obama, Pence, Sanders, ISIS, Aleppo, BLM, The ACA, and Climate Change on top of all of that???
OH. MY. GAWD. The Hilarity that would ensue from Carlin talking about those things would be biblical. I would pay any amount of money to see that show.
I will seriously consider the second coming of Jesus if we get another George Carlin.The man was too smart for us then, and he's too smart for us now. All we get are sellouts now.Carlin reigned hell on the establishment, and he still got invited to talk shit at the national press club.
"I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!"
FFFFFUCK YESSS!!!
I have major psychotic hatreds, too!
I hate all the airports nowadays, especially the big ones, because you have to walk even up to one hour to get from a terminal/gate to another. If Carlin said all this so many years ago, he should see NOW what a nerve racking is to travel... Million extra rules, away poorer flying conditions, so on. Not to mention about the airport security - if they see something "suspicious" in your hand luggage, they will tell you to pull everything out so they can see what is it. And you obey. They discover the "dangerous" object: "Oh, those are just some keys?" or "That's a lighter? It has a weird shape. Okay, you can go." So then, you try to put back all of your belongings. But guess what? It's impossible to fit them in anymore, therefore you can't zip the hand luggage. You try, and try, while none of the security guys will help you out, although they keep staring at you. You are about to miss your flight, because it's getting late. You start running to the gate. And when you finally get there, breathless and sweating like a pig, a voice announces: "The flight will be delayed by 30 min. or more. Sorry about that." FO!
Marla Ca "you can't take your water bottle on the plane ma'am, it's a safety risk"
Fuck that guy he SAW me drink it
"What about a *riddle*? How about a *limerick*?" 😂😂😂😂😂
fuck me i cannot imagine how fuckin hillarious he would be now .. !! :D
1:06 that line he said is before 9/11.
Ahh, George Carlin, he narrated Thomas the Tank Engine with Ringo Starr when i was a kid, and now he's making me laugh as an adult. We'll all miss him a lot
this is one of my favorite comedy bits EVER! He started off with airport security, and then went into germs/food poisoning/cleanliness. i never will get tired of his stuff! his delivery was awesome! in his early years, he stalked the stage. in his last years, he pretty much stood in one place on stage. he was awesomely funny, one of the funniest EVER!,
I had never heard of him till last year, I thinks he's brilliant and totally real.
While I know he's not serious, he's mostly right about the bombs except that the check is there to protect the plane (company property) rather than individual human lives. Planes cost a lot of money and ruin the reputation of the business if they go down.
That being said, Carlin was indeed in a lane of his own.
Except he was dead-on accurate. The 9/11 hijackers killed the crew with weapons that could be brought on the planes. No guns. No bombs. And they answered the three questions. Check the video of the ticketing agent who was suspicious of Mohammed Atta, but didn't say anything out of fear he was profiling him.