Life After Amputation | Stage 1: DENIAL
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- This video is for anyone who is interested in the emotional struggles one faces when they lose a limb/ the grieving process.
This is VIDEO 1 of the 5 part series I'm going to do on GRIEF!
Stage one for most people, but not everyone is denial.
In this video I explain what this stage was like for me.
To learn more about the grieving process look up "Elisabeth Kubler Ross".
Hope you enjoy this video!
& GO SUBSCRIBE if you want to get notified when I post the rest of the videos in this series!
Thanks for watching!!
instagram: / meganabsten
Edited by: / lifeintapes
RUclips recommended your first video, how you lost your arm, today and i just watched all of them in less than 2 hours. New subscriber, keep up the good work!!
Heidi Torres hi
I just lost my pinkie and I know it doesn’t come close to losing an entire arm but I can’t relate to your video. It’s only been two months but the accident has started to affect me mentally on a daily basis and it’s weird because i didn’t think it was going to affect me psychologically like it is now because it’s been two months and haven’t had any ptsd. I just started work which is where the accident happened so maybe being back at work has triggered it. But listening to your video did give me some insight and I see myself doing what you went through.trying so hard to go back to your “normal “ daily life like if nothing happened.
Stage 2: Anger
Stage 3: Bargaining
Stage 4: Depression
Stage 5: Acceptance
Like, it continues to suck throughout all stages. So very sad.
I'm stuck at Denial
Did you have career plans and how did they change after the accident?
I'm totally in this stage with my paralyzation. Not fun but fighting through! And crying it out. Your lovely btw.
Notifications turned on. I'm a new subscriber. I have watched almost all of your videos. You are gorgeous.
Totally feel you on the feeling in your stomach when you’re finally by yourself......I remember coming home from the hospital....after everyone left, I got undressed and looked at the scars.....😕.....but, as you say, you get past it....no matter what the loss...injury or illness....I hope everyone finds that way to get past it.....everyone deserves that.
I think you'd make a great counselor, especially for people who have lost a part of themselves, physically, mentally, or emotionally. I am working on a Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and I think your experiences, perseverance, and positive energy would make you a great counselor who can empathize, embrace, and encourage people! Even if counseling is not your path, I believe you already are helping people from all walks of life. I am not an amputee, but you talked about the importance of moving through grief. That resonated with me because I have a tendency to push things down that I don't want to deal with, instead of dealing with those issues head on. How you explained the importance of grief reminded me of how my counselor explained how vital it is to move through emotions, instead of stopping any emotions one doesn't want to deal with. Hopefully all of that made sense. Basically, I believe you are here for a reason, which I feel is to help people and I think you are doing that wonderfully so!
I am an right above knee amputee as of October 9th 2017, I am 33. I lost my leg because of complications with my cancer surgery (osteosarcoma, cancer free for almost 5 years crossing my fingers) and infection. I was in pain for years while trying to cure my infection. I thought I'd be relieved to be pain free and infection free. Man I was wrong. I got my prothestic in December and I have yet to use it since getting it, I've been avoiding PT as well. My grief kicked in right then, seeing this leg that didn't resemble my leg at all, something about it flipped a switch. I don't know why. I just started therapy this week and I'm learning on how to deal with my grief and anger. You are very inspiring and I hope you don't mind my sharing my story.
Cassandra Lee Good luck! ❤️
As a person who is missing a right hand seeing someone like me on the internet makes me so happy and is something I have wanted forever. Thank you
Thank you megan I just lost my arm at the sholder 2 weeks ago. Thank you your videos help me so much. Seriously I've watched you since I was in the hospital keep on making great videos they help me. I'm sure others too
New subscriber too. I gravitated to your channel from the way you speak, and carry yourself. You keep it real and speak to people's thoughts which maybe hard to vocalise. All the best to you Megan!
It is astounding how universal the grieving process is, in the way that when someone loses something, a person, a limb, a stable concept, that we all go through something very similar. Thank you for sharing.
I was amputated 3 years ago I’m still grieving.. I’m crying as I post this... idk what to do... you let me know I’m not alone. Thank you ❤️
😘
I am not a true member of Amputee Club, but I am a member of The Dead Parents Society and a fellow member of Grief Club. Having gone through the grieving process several times over, and being newly post top-surgery (gender related double mastectomy), I found myself surprised by how much a voluntary surgery that I wanted and chose triggered the grieving process. It actually wasn't until watching this video that I realized how much my brain was still fighting through the haze of denial. It was also so validating to hear you say "Grief is necessary". This is a belief I hold deeply but that took me many years to discover and distill, and it's nice to hear someone outside of my small community articulate it.
Also, girl, you are out here killing it all the ways all the time and I am impressed *snaps*
I’m about to go through something similar and I am so thankful there is a Beautiful intelligent woman to Relate to!! Thank you for Paving the way for Others!!💗
Thank you Megan ..you are so Brave, Beautiful, Powerful and Inspriational! I too had lost my left arm in an accident 10 years ago. I share my story in Schools, Communities, and Churches to never give up no matter what happens to you. You are so strong and very beautiful inside and out. Your true beauty of who you are truly shines through. God bless you and keep up the good work💞
i have the same problem as you do megan, i have erb palsy on my left hand since birth. its semi paralyzed,it really impacted me physically and mentally especially in school where i was bullied. but seeing you makes me so happy, u have the brightest smile god ever created and confident like no one has. u really inspired me god bless you 😇. sorry for the bad english*
im a male 20. ive been doing home gym to build muscle for almost 2 years. from 155lbs to l80lbs its all about the mindset, no one will able to stop us megan 😆🤗
Oh my god, I can't even imagine going through what happend to you and what you go through every day. glad to see you keep a positive attitude, thank you for sharing your story.
Hello girl... I just met your channel and your history. First of all I want to tell you that you are awesome, opening yourself the way you do is so amazing. I can't imagine how dificult these years have been, but you have overcome much stronger. Thanks for all your amazing work, for hang in there and be an inspiration. Be safe honey, be happy and continue these great cause. Kisses from México :)
Hey! I'm laying in bed at an adult rehabilitation center after being in hospital for 3 weeks, I'll be here for a month. I had my left arm amputated. I have been through a whirl wind of emotions. I finally off the meds and its 3am and i don't know how I'll move on. Im at my low point for the first time. I'm scared. Thank you for posting. This is the first video i have even watched. I need this.
Another Amazing video 🙌🏾. You’re one of the most inspirational women 💕
I am humbled by videos like this. Especially when I see a video in trending from a 'RUclipsr' who feels hard done by and cried because nobody spoke to him at a RUclips party.
You are a beautiful inspiration. You are a blessing to the many hurting and lost.
You’re so beautiful! I’m here because I’m trying to cope with my boyfriend who wasn’t a so great boyfriend before his accident but now we are okay but i am trying to watch videos so that i can understand his mind state sometimes. I pray that if me and him don’t work someone loves him as much as i do even with his hand being gone.
You handled losing an arm better than most guys handle losing their hair :-)
I really appreciate you making these videos. A lot of people don't think about death and other serious helath issues when they're young. A lot of people are too absorbed in their own lives without stopping to think about what they're grateful for. I don't know when I'll have cancer or other health issues in the future because life is so unpredictable. I really do want to be prepared for these things but thinking about them makes me depressed. I guess the more I remind myself of these things when young, the better I can prepare for these issues. I think we need to train our brain to be adaptive to emergency events. What's your opinion on this: How much do people need in life to be satisfied, when comes the point where there's no more need to "get more" ?
How did you cope with school once your arm was amputated? was it hard to type and do assignments?
What a stupid question. Think b4 u ask ?'s.
Thank you so much for your video! As you are such an open and friendly person, I'm starting to have a lot more questions. Maybe you're going to answer these questions in later videos, which is totally fine of course (or not at all, which is also totally fine).
1. How does it "feel" to have a limb missing? This is of course a very broad question, but the question goes in the direction of the feeling of your body, like how does your body feel.
2. To be a bit more precise about the first question: Do you feel or felt your arm somehow "missing"? Like have or had you anything like phantom pain? And: What exactly is phantom pain :-)?
3. Did or do you use your feet for handling some stuff, like as a "replacement-tool" for your missing arm?
Thank you very much - you are truly awesome!
Every amputee must come to a place where they accept being an amputee in order to move on with life. Good videos.
I love your videos! You’re so nice to listen to, and so appealing as a person.
You seem such a great down to earth woman Megan. I love your videos and I love your positive attitude even with you having to go through what you went through. Myself am extremely lucky and never have had to deal with losing a limb. But watching your videos in a way has helped me look at what is going on in my own life and realize how lucky I am. Even with the struggles everyone has to go through big or small we all can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves that it's ok and that we are strong. Thank you for your videos and keep on being the person you are because that person is pretty amazing!
Hi Megan my cousin is going into hospital tomorrow to have he's hand amputated from a rare cancer he's so positive about everything I think that will all change once the bandages come off
If you flip it over & see it as you could have died & been gone forever, it may lighten the heaviness of it. Not to take away from the massiveness of what you went thru,but ... sounds like you were lucky you lived,thats good. As for not having both arms, that will be your fuel to surpass what you normally would have achieved in life. ....and TY for the video. I will one day find this useful. Added to favorites. When I come back to it, I will be at a very very low point in life & will remember this video, & I know that time will come, so thanx.
I just found your channel yesterday and ironically this morning a family friend was in a car accident (she pulled out in front of an 18 wheeler) and lost both of her legs above the knee. IF she survives this I will be telling her parents about you channel.
Hi Megan. I came upon your channel looking for some inspiration and encouragement and find your postings really helpful, especially this one. My situation is nowhere near as dramatic as your’s but I’m a marathon runner who has been dealing with chronic pain and injury making it impossible for me to run (even walk very far ) for over a year and a half. Running was such a part of my life that my daughter’s running blog is called “2generations running,”about our adventures running all around the country. The loss of this part of my identity, even if it is temporary, is very hard and this post about grief and denial was very helpful. Thank you so much. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Marie
I can't wait for your next video, you explain everything very well and it's so interesting. I like that you can look back at it now that you're done grieving and be so calm about this. So seem very mature and collected.
Liesbeth L hi
Thanks for sharing your experience.
It is amazing to see how soon you've started editing your videos, which is totally awesome.
But this particular video, didn't need that much editing in my opinion, I really wanted to see your reaction, but having a video about it is much more than what we deserve, because it's not easy to talk, so thank you.
Yes that book! I haven’t suffered something as traumatic as you, but I’ve dealt with lots of anxiety and depression and my mom actually recommend that book to me. I have yet to read it but I’ve definitely heard it’s really good! Btw I love you & your channel!!
You're an inspiration to everybody!! I love your motivation Monday videos, I'm glad you told your story. I feel lucky to have heard it. The strength you show Is amazing.
great video Megan. inspired
the process of grieving is something you have to go through and your video tells people that it is necessary and natural. you describe your experience so eloquently that it helps others. you have come out the other side a strong person.
such a wonderful young lady
I am disabled, but not through trauma, I have a genetic condition that had various small non disabling manifestations until I was about 20 and then things got worse. It took a while to get diagnosed, I think I was 26 when I finally got a diagnosis and at that point it was a relief, someone was agreeing my symptoms were real. What I've never really dealt with or faced honestly is the potential further deterioration, every step of getting more help has actually been a good thing, getting a wheelchair was freeing, getting a better wheelchair was even more independence and in that roller coaster journey I don't think I've ever fully accepted I am disabled. I still go places and forget to check they are wheelchair accessible, it's a good thing for disability rights though because I always see myself as someone who should be treated just the same as other people. It doesn't stop me from wondering if it would be easier to have suddenly become the way I am now and I think it definitely would be easier if I was that way and had no worries about getting worse, instead I am in a constant cycle of wondering if tomorrow is the day that I'll no longer be able to self propel a manual wheelchair and have to begin the daunting process of getting an electric wheelchair.
You are awesome!!!! Very uplifting and level headed. I have recommended your videos to my occupational therapist.
Hi I too lost my are. I went from being Rt hand to learning everything now with only my left hand. How did you over come all your obstacles? I still am struggling especially with my hair and my shirts blouses jackets. What did you do about ur sleeve?
Arm not are sorry typo
you were born to be a motivational speaker, would be awesome to have a nice conversation with you about life in general
Love hearing you again.
Whoa literally after watching your vid I got bit by my dog on my right hand(MY DOMINANT HAND OF ALL LIMBS!) and had to be rushed to the hospital just got back and now i have to clean my house one handed and I havent got my pain meds yet...I'm sorry if Im being offensive by comparing a dog bite to an amputation just saying doing things one handed really is hard so you are an amazing woman and I am your new subscriber! Keep up the vids((no pressure lol))
Yeah my friend lost his life in an ATV accident, so you should never get depressed, you should feel lucky.
Like, even though your arm got hosed, you're gorgeous. You go, girl!
I KNO" IM OLDER THEN YOU & EVEN I DONT kno" everything, BUT I TAKE YR VIDEOS AS A REMINDER. THX AGAIN
Thank you for this. My mom passed away on February 03, 2018... Thank you for your words.
i have so much respect to this kind this people cus sometimes no havent limitacion in their minds .and the normal people have more limitacion in their minds.God bless u
Wish this video was longer and more in depth about your experience! I was really keen to hear it.
Just an interested person here but this is such an interesting series of videos, can't wait to see more :)
She's so beautiful!
Great video! I am a paraplegic and rely on my arms for everything. Very inspirational!! Keep it up!! Best of luck!
Life is so unfair. Listening to you and feeling you so well, like it happened to me....
Thank you Megan very interesting and you express yourself clearly so it makes your experience really engaging x💕☺️x
I've been waiting for a new upload! I just subscribed and watched all your videos in one day last week
Hey Megan. I am not certain if you did a video on the five stages could you please create a playlist of them all and maybe add the story on how the accident happened. Thanks
Do u experience phantom limb syndrome? We learned about this in my phsycology class.
kristen woolery +after 6yrs of losing my Rleg AKA I'm still experience fantom pain .
My best friend of 35 years was born with no arms. He's Amazing. He didn't have to grieve because he never knew what arms were like. It's just a mental projection. If you realize it's all in your head, you Can get past it.
i lost a arm and a leg and never went thru this stage lol i accepted it
Just found your first video and glad you filmed a follow up!
Your amazing and a great inspiration Megan!!❤❤ I am a new subscriber
So young and so wise!!! You really are an amazing girl!!!
Just discovered your page. You are amazing and so motivational!
Thank you for sharing your life.
This will help many people.
All the best.
On point in grief.
Please can you make a video about doing your housework?
Im going through it . metal plate on skull .
Great video. You are so much more than "normal". Thank you!
Your so positive! That is beautiful !
Thank you so much for doing this 💛 you’re amazing
I had to deal with the grieving process when my mom passed away. It’s a difficult process to get through.
TheTardisNamedSexy
Any words of wisdom for me? My mom passed away also, on February 03, 2018... It was unexpected and sudden.
v I know I'm not the original commenter but I lost both of my grandfather's during 2017 (One in May who I was extremely close to and the other the day after Christmas, who I loved all the same even if we weren't as close due to always living several states away).
I don't know about words of wisdom, but here is my advice. Let yourself be sad. Cry when you remember that one Christmas together, or find some item she gave you, or look at old picture's. Talking to family and remembering the person helps. It may feel weird at first, but even now me and my sister will see something that reminds us of our grandfather (or our passed cat) and we both tell each other about it and usually recall some story that ties in with it. Sometimes we laugh about it, sometimes we get sad about it.
And the cliche answer that time makes it easier. You never get over it completely and you always have a feeling that is hard to describe. Almost like a piece of you is missing, but you find things that make the hard times easier. And the memories make you feel better over time instead of sad.
I hope this helps. I'm sorry she passed suddenly too. 😢💙
v I agree with Krissy. Let yourself feel your emotions. I felt sad and angry and depressed. But it was all part of the grieving. I still well up from time to time, usually on special days when her loss is felt more strongly. Or when something will remind me of her. The cliche is true though. Time does heal wounds. Sometimes I felt like I was losing my mind, but you get through it, you survive. If you have close family or friends don’t be afraid to lean on them. And if it feels necessary you can go to a grief counselor. They will help you talk through things.
I am so enjoying your videos! I was just wondering- how is using the computer with 1 hand? Is it hard to not be able to use 2 hands to type? You are such an inspiration and so positive!!
Just wondering, are you right handed or left? If you were left, was it hard to adjust?
I wonder this too, I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to come off rude. Not that you did 😌
She was right handed thankfully
Ava she said she was left handed but now she’s right handrd
I am set to have my left arm amputated at the trans humeral level in 9 days. I have a vascular condition that causes me a lot of pain. I am not really scared to lose my arm but more so what life will look like afterwards.
Question have you ever thought about bionics like a bionic arm
Elise Animal cyborg arm with cannons on it lol
Hey Megan, it's Meghan
Hey Megan it's nathan
hey Megan, it's Meghand
Hey megand it’s maegan
Hi Megan, thanks for your videos. I lost my left arm two months ago, I’m in the denial stage in a way that I haven't looked in the mirror yet, and I avoid any mirror anywhere I go. But now my question from you is did you experience phantom limb pain? I have 24h phantom pain and I don't know how to handle it and how long it gonna long...
It sucks it's been 7 years i lost my arm when I was 11 y/o and I'm still in denial
You are so strong for sharing this❤️ Thank you
sagamakeup hibil
I know you lost a arm. But I have a double leg below the knee amputation in augs 6 2006. I was told by my Dr's. I never had depression at all why I was hospitalized for 2 months. I have a story I will tell you if you want to here it.
GEORGE MARTINEZ do you grammar much
I want to hear :)
Caleb keplinger Are you the fucking grammar police? This man is trying to open up and share something extremely personal and you’re going to criticize his grammar? Get out. George I want to hear your story
Never minded out here.
wow, people these days are so unnecessarily disrespectful! what the fuck do you gain from even pointing out grammatical mistakes? George, you don't have to tell your story if you no longer feel comfortable. just know that most of us have a heart and would be open to listen if you wished to share.
I never thought that you were over it asap.
Fair play Megan you are a real inspirational woman on many many fronts. What medal are you wearing?
A true inspiration. Thank you
Hi Megan. you are amazing. Thank you for this vid.
Just a quick question. Are you able to get a prosthetic?
She has one and doesn’t like or want to wear it is my understanding from another video. She’s beautiful without it
Протез всё равно хоть какой то помощник.
Wow i knew this theory cuz it was brought up in one of the episodes in Frasier
You are looking so beautiful, nothing is missing!
Hi Megan from New Zealand, im going through the process of looking at amputation of my lower left leg after putting up with severe pain for near on 30yrs after a bad car accident back in 1989. Any pros and cons about options would be helpful for me.
Regards for being brave x
Is it just me or did the video feel like it was cut short .
you are amazing!!!
I went to high school with a girl who had no hand , like she had all her shoulder and most of her wrist but no arm, she always would carry her jacket on top of her rest or her book bag on her shoulder and rest the her wrist in there , she was very uncomfortable with it being known she was an amputee .. I hope she found peace with her situation 😞
I hope she found peace as well. But since I can put myself in her shoes in a way because I was born missing sections of my fingers and my picky is deformed on my left hand. It has bothered me my whole life and I'm 27 now. I always hide it and I thought by age 25 I'd get over it but it still bothers me if not more now. I haven't worked in 6 years because I'm afraid to face the public and have to work with my hands in front of people and they just stare at it or me. Some people can live their lives without something like that bothering them and some people cant. Knowing that girl was hiding her arm/hand like I was, I kind of feel she still does. As you get older you realize the adults are the cruel ones and not so much the kids.
Thank you, you are awesome!!
2:40 yeah, i think I went through that for two months with my aunts passing
We can’t see your new video from today in Germany!
Just found your channel and you’re really fucking pretty x
How do you (or that author of the book) know that are 5 stages? Each person is unique and behave differently. If a person doesn't react like in the book, what? Blame that person because he/she doesn't conform to collective hive?