reading your assumptions and getting offended
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2022
- If you have nothing nice to say ..send it to Dan in an Instagram DM.
I’M ON TOUR RIGHT NOW COME SEE ME IRL - danielhowell.com
I hope you enjoyed my first attempt at S.S.A.Y.W.D. Reading assumptions was a fun experiment that I will never repeat as long as I live. What casual content form will I attempt to create next episode?
Twitter: / danielhowell
IG: / danielhowell
Merch: shop.danielhowell.com
Tune in next time for our final feature of Dystopia Daily that's all about giving back!
CREATED BY
DANIEL HOWELL
PRODUCED BY
SOPHIE NEWTON
CREATIVE PRODUCERS
JACOB RICKARD
KENNY ENGLAND
PHIL LESTER
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
CIARAN O’BRIEN
CAMERA ASSISTANT
JOE ROWE
SOUND ENGINEER
TOM BARTLETT
ART DIRECTOR
LOUIS GRANT
EDITORS
LEVI BEAMISH
DAN HOWELL
ANIMATORS
JAMES PAINTER
PJ LIGUORI
Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound:
Losing Face - Martin Klem
Night Driver - Ballpoint
What A Whirl - Junes Gala
Captions: amara.org/videos/eY4fBIkXUXNn... thank you!
German - AnnikaSp
Spanish - Anya Vourakis
Korean - Annabel Park
Dutch - juuul
Portugese - Mirian Rodrigues
Russian - Anna Vinogradova
Ukranian - Zoe
i'm probably outside your house right now crying in a bush come see me on tour danielhowell.com
ILL BE IN JAX
i’m in ur walls
seeing you twice in london dont tempt me to go to more dan
Come inside coward
I have tickets to your Maine show next month… I’m counting down the days!! 🏴☠️🖤
this feels like a therapy session where i’m both the therapist and the client
Honestly that just describes Dan's entire vibe
it fits with all my comfort content😭
Dare I say it feels like an internet support group?
@@lenerdhuhn 😂😂😂😂😂
real
Dan: *spends years jokingly saying "yes daddy" or "choke me daddy" *
Also Dan: wHY do people think i have a daddy kink?????
Dan: *gives people shit for not taking the assumption submission seriously *
Also Dan: *does not take the answering of the assumptions seriously *
Ah, this truly is home. Same old Dan.
Dan: * spends years filming videos with a myspace angle *
Also Dan: wHY do people think I’m short????
Peak Dan energy, let's be honest. It's what we've all come to expect from him
Couldn't have said it better!
Dan: Why does everyone think I'm a bottom??
Also Dan: Someone please chain me to a wall and throw things at my head
Dan exposing himself as someone who doesn't wash their feet has ruined my childhood.
the only time in my life i didn't was when i was super depressed and so tired and feeling horrible about myself that i only wanted to stay in the shower long enough to get decently clean. admist typing this though i realized that may actually be why he doesn't... oops 😭
who washes their feet though??? 🤨🤨
@@bruhsuke9039 clean people
@@bruhsuke9039 me???? Who wants smelly feet??? Do you just splash them around in your bath water and call it a day?
@@bruhsuke9039 I do! I want to feel clean in my socks after a shower
14 minutes of Dan realising that we are the product of his parenting
That's it, you just described it perfectly lmao
DnP games are my parents tbh.
bottom
😂😂
This read me in 50 different languages
Idk who Dan's therapist is but I wish them luck after this honestly
🤣🤣
Everyone thought Dan was small because his videos were recorded with a downward angle. Suddenly looking up at 6’3” man you’ve been looking down at for years is surprising.
It’s hilarious how there’s often the most mundane reason for something that can torment someone for years.
exactly this; it already feels funny seeing the legs of someone you exclusively see from torso up, skyscraper heights just add to the mix lol
I'm dying at Dan slowly realising his public image is an awkward softie 😂 laughing so hard rn
Still not used to the fact we’re getting Dan content consistently. Feels like an alternate timeline
Fr im in the twilight zone
@@Mmorguemusic we’re in the worst timeline
Am I 17 again?
I saw he posted and just thought "again?"
literally
"It may not even be just one woman."
Damn, I'm a wlw and a gay man still has more game with women than me. Props to you Dan!
dan’s therapist found out he was starting youtube again and went out to buy a bloody lamborghini
dan finally capitalizing on all of the weird shit we’ve been saying about him for 10+ years wasn’t on my 2022 bingo card but i’m here for it
Honestly if I were him I would be milking tf out of all the weird sh!t part of the phandom has put him and Phil thru for years
He unintentionally played the long game and it’s paying off bc we are all just happy 🥰
@@zobizobizobi hes a genius
You assume he’s ‘capitalizing’ off it is way too deep go touch grass
@@kezx6 he’s acknowledging it in a video for content so yes lmao he is capitalizing on it. it’s not a bad thing. i can’t touch grass i already smoked it all
Dan: it seems inappropriate to talk about me being a bottom
Also Dan: this is a desperate plea, if someone wants to chain me to a wall
Also Dan: Why do people think I am a bottom?.... this is why Dan 😂
The math isn’t mathing, dan.
But that's not him being a bottom, it's about him being a sub. Important distinction
@@gaygoddess139 yeaH
He also said he'd enjoy it in the soap dropping scenario
I think maybe the reason people don't realise you're so tall, is that our primary context is seeing you next to Phil. And since you're a similar height, its easy to forget you're both girrafes. If you made tonnes of videos standing next to a short (or average height) person, it would probably affect our impression of your height. (Just an observation, don't hat me)
dan came back to the internet and decided to simultaneously give it way too much information on his personal life and very very little
As per
I don’t need to make assumptions because the line “Steve Harrington x Vecna’s tentacles” told me everything I need to know.
Best comment!
I love the moments where Dan shows he truly still is an internet nerd who knows what’s happening haha
I had to pause the video and figure out how to continue after hearing that senence.
But the fact that we're all commenting on this means it RESONATED with us! He's dragging us down with him!!! OUR VICTORY IS PYRRHIC AT BEST
Dustin and the lads have to go and mount a daring rescue of their mom w/ Jonathan, clone Billy and Eddie bring up the rear cause Steve's their boyfriend
"nobody washes their feet" feeling uncomfortable with the energy we've created in this household
??? i can’t reach that far down
@@mackthompson616 lift your foot?
@@mackthompson616 sit down and criss cross apple sauce?
Very upset
At least he folds the toilet paper
dan trying to get baked on camera would be the best thing ever, either it doesnt work and its just funny dan or he get baked for the first time
"if you could read other people's thoughts, would you? of course you would" NO DANIEL I WOULDN'T, my OWN thoughts (about myself & others) are already irrational and toxic and can't be taken seriously so I would rather lie down on some train tracks than seize this opportunity thank you
SAME
I DON'T WANT ANYMORE PARANOIA AND TURMOIL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH
and people wonder why Edward Cullen was fucking depressed like, of course he is !
@@_bebeboudeur_ you somehow brought this around to twilight and I greatly respect you for that 💅🙏
Also yeah, he's been like 17 for a hundred years(?) No wonder he is so messed up bruh.
Dan: what is it about me that exudes bottom energy I dont understand
also dan: genuinely suggests a twink fursuit
And requesting to be chained to a wall 🤗
LMAOAOAO TWINK FURSUIT
Who’s gonna tell him that it already exists
this entire series should be subtitled "things that no one predicted they would ever hear coming out of daniel howell's mouth"
1:01 case in point
Oh no
Really should!
Dan: “Do you bend over and wash your feet when you’re showering?”
Me: “Yeah, I actually do”
Dan: “No, you don’t”
Me: “Yes, I do”
Dan: “No, you don’t”
Me: “Yes, I do”
Dan: “No, you d-“
Me: “Yes, I-“
Dan: “Shut the fuck up!”
Me: “ope. okay”
LITERALLY ME
Why do you bend over? This was my biggest confusion with Dan's comment too, have you people not discovered knees?
To be fair I don't bend over, I crouch
I don’t bend over but I wash my feet
i lift my feet up????
Dan: why does everyone think I'm a bottom?
Also dan: I would like someone to chain me to a wall and throw things at me.....
do i have to clarify i was just making a joke about being approached when bending for the soap OH MY GOD I WASH MY FEET JESUS PEOPLE
i'm trying to keep my wikifeet score a 10 for the sugar daddy's
Eh, I don’t buy it. Prove it 😉
Don’t lie it wasn’t a joke
sure dan…. sure
@@danielhowell too late Dan, I already rated your feet 1 star
I'm surprised that no one made an assumption about how at one point he probably had a secret wattpad account which he used to read phanfics about himself
when I was 11 I started watching Dan and throughout my early teen years, he has always given me so much happiness, peace and hope. here I am, turning 18 in 2 months, still watching Daniel Howell. thank you, Dan. for everything.
similar
same here but i started watched dan and phil when i was 13. im 21 now! 😊 they’ll never know it but they saved me in my teens. i struggled a lot at home and school and mentally so having their channels to escape and laugh with helped tons!
Dan reading a comment calling him a bottom and submissive: DO I GIVE OFF THAT ENERGY
Dan reading a comment calling him “tough”: DO I GIVE OFF THAT ENERGY
Too hard to please this mans.
Simple solution: power bottom
Hey, no one ever said anything about being submissive. Maybe they're all saying he's a powerbottom
@@hq4287 facts
him liking this comment LMFAO
Solution: soft top
dan accidentally saying c*nt instead of stunts made me cry laugh. his reaction was so funny.
I thought he was trying to say “content” not stunt
what is the time stamp? I have terrible focus and don’t remember that
@@sjkitty maybe he tried to say both and ended up combining lol
1:00
"You secretly miss the Danisnotonfire branding"
the way I still have the Dan and Phil shirt I got as a Christmas gift back when he was still Danisnotonfire💀 I haven't worn it since I was 14 (I'm abt to be 21 in December) but I feel like I can't get rid of it now because it's ✨vintage✨
My assumption was that if he ever returned it would be as a story time youtuber. I mean some of the most viewed videos on the channel are mostly story time ones. Dan telling a story is the most engaging and hilarious thing. That's why no matter what he does, could literally paint a wall in a video for 3 hours, people will still watch. So long as he's being himself because Dan is such a naturally funny and entertaining person, without having to try.
The only assumption I’m absolutely sure about is Dan owning a fursuit
No, because they are too bulky. Pay attention
Okay but those cost over 2000 bucks and you think he would just keep that in hiding??? That’s kind of a dumb assumption
Me too
He’s definitely worn one tho
Didn't he have a dinosaur one from a cereal sponsorship? Does that count?
dan admitting that he doesn’t wash his feet is probably the most disturbing part of this video
We really need to adress this. Im scared about how many out there do it too
He’s too tall he’s probably scared of falling
Yeah who doesn’t wash their feet? Just gross
for real i gasped
LMFOAOOOOOOOSOAOO
I share Dan's sentiments on children only being manageable in montage form XD
Hi, fursuit maker here! There are definitely slimmer fitting fursuits and heads with moving jaws and "use your own eyes" style (they have actual eye holes for ur eyes instead of plastic fake eyes). Off the top of my head Magpiebones makes some great "slim fitting" fursuits with eyeholes. There's other makers that also use stretchy minky/faux fur to create a more skin tight look too! Even with paws there's sock paws, which are exactly what they sound like and they fit like a sock.
i just learned so much by this comment, hope dan sees this!
i cannot belive dan just tried to gaslight us into thinking we all don't wash our feet. it's just you dan, just you.
Exactly
no one I talked abt this wish washes their feet 😭
I also do not
I was hoping someone commented this just so I could pop in and say I DO wash my feet in the shower
So real 😭 I wash my feet lmfaooooo
Love how Dan treats us like his houseplants. Sprinkles us with some content every blue moon and then fucks off for days and then comes back to sprinkle us again.
Why is watching Dan have a mental crisis over his fans calling him a bottom (and sub) so entertaining to me
I’ve been watching you since I was a teenager and I just want to say thankyou for coming back because you did, and continue to bring me so much joy even on the hard days
My assumption: he probably has a guitar sitting in his room that he never bothered learning how to play
Doesn't everyone
@@rwolfheart6580 I may or may not have drawn inspiration from myself
he definitely got it as a teenager/young adult and wanted to be matt bellamy but never bothered with it
I don't know about this one, since he has a keyboard and plays piano. I think Phil would be more likely to get a guitar and do that
@@secretlybees i guess it depends on the person, i play piano too but i also just have a guitar sitting in my room😂
i lowkey thought we will only get a dystopia daily video like once every two months, this is a pleasant surprise
me too!! i’m so happy we’re getting so much content :)
^^^
I'm just so happy you've found yourself and are back to share your amazingness on the internet. Your personality has always been so enjoyable. Big love x
i'm so here for this chill content (love the intense video essays too of course), looking forward to seeing you on tour!!
I’m glad we fill your emotional hole Dan.
Dan, in the kindest way possible: you absolutely have short king energy.
ong
Isn’t he tall af though?
@@ElpSmith yep. he just has short vibes.
Nah more like emo power bottom vibes
I think he gives off tall vibes! Tall emo boi vibes
Intro is so truth! Both back then and now. 😂thanks for getting us through Dan!🥰
i am absolutley LOVING this new content you are thriving king, this was hilarious
Dan: Literally says he’s versatile in his coming out video
Internet: BOTTOM!!
Dan: Literally says he’s gay in his coming out video, "basically, I'm gay"
Internet: GAY
He literally said it in his "Basically I'm Gay" video too, like cmon guys pay attention
@@KSA-xl5zk "the floor is a made out of floor"
dan: "im not a bottom"
also dan: "if someone came behind me as I dropped the soap I wouldn't mind" ???
He did say he was versatile !
Versatile king
Also wanting to be thrown against a wall 🤔
Verse
Was waiting for this comment XD
PLEASE keep uploading, I feel like everyone really missed this
literally, anything you do I will watch and I will enjoy the fuck out of it.
We're here for you! You are what makes these simple things fun. your personality and humour etc. I don't know how you do it but you still bring me genuine joy whenever I watch your videos.
There is no way this man just admitted to not washing his feet and using bar soap in the same sentence
WAS THINKING THIS TOO
bar soap is superior
bar soap superior
What's wrong with bar soap? Y'all over here paying for body wash that's like 70% water meanwhile my triple milled bar is on its 3rd month of use bc she isn't a QUITTER 🤣
Lol I use bar soap to! And people really wash their feet? Lol i thought most people let the soap run down their body and it touches the feet therefore, feet are clean lol
Assumption: Every time Dan says that he hates Phil, he has to then go home and constantly reassure him that he doesn't hate him.
lmao for sure not
Lol do you think phil gives a shit about him saying that. I just told my best friend she should choke. Im sure she did not think i meant it
Nah, he just writes notes reminding Phil to not eat glue, pays half the mortgage, and doesn't put a lock on the cereal cabinet.
I guess Phil just ignores his words from videos and takes real life as a compass. (And if video about texting is something to go by, he just knows when Dan needs to vent and when he is serious. As normal people after some time together know.)
People forget the early DNPG games where Dan was constantly saying "I hate you" and Phil just rolled his eyes
Absolutely loving this series. Thank you.
seeing new dan uploads in my notifs is still so crazy,, im really glad hes found a way to make youtube work for him and i hope he knows that regardless of how long we've been watching we'll always keep supporting him
*Gets offended at being called a bottom*
2 mins later:
*asks to be chained to a wall and have objects thrown at his head*
dom/switch/sub and top/vers/bottom aren't talking about the same thing and shouldn't be treated as such
In what world does Dan Howell give off smol energy??? He's literally the human embodiment of tall awkward baby giraffe energy
This is correct. I don't think a person can be as tall and gangly as his energy is to me.
@alexeeva did you get that from a fortune cookie? 😂
“Smol” it’s 2022
@alexeeva not when they talk
@@Me-jr5oh LITERALLY
So freaking glad to have Dan back on RUclips! Love the new videos and I hope you’re truly having fun with them!
I'm so glad you're coming back ❤️❤️❤️ you literally raised us, wishing u all the best homie
How long do y’all think it’s gonna take for Dan to realize that we will literally watch anything he posts regardless of quality because we like him as person
Another 11 years
No bc it's been this long I think he needs more therapy visits, remember, it's not us, it's him 😂😅
TOO MF LONG
Dan is for sure the type of person that makes a lot of jokes during therapy sessions
hahahahahahahahaha
I can blame him then for me doing that (◕ᴗ◕✿)
some people are just hilarious, I enjoyed watching this video and please continue making new content, I've missed you while you were gone. Glad to have you back love :) 🥰
I just love these so much. It's so funny to watch and honestly brings me joy
dan: why is everyone saying i exude bottom energy
also dan: can someone chain me to a wall and throw things at my head
^
that's sub energy not bottom energy.. a lot of people get those two confused.
@@novak4082 i know, i'm active in the bdsm scene, but it was a funny joke jdjfdhfhdhfdf
@@novak4082 what about when he said if someone took him from behind when he drops the soap he wouldn't mind? 😂
@@bubblegumbunny lmao fair enough 😅
"If someone wants to chain me to a wall and throw things at my head, id like that" thanks dan
“sometimes!” ;>
@@bbhowie139 The "sometimes" is key!
Yes, because that's what BDSM is
So that's what was going on with that Interactive Introverts segment
I’m so happy to see you posting again ❤ it makes my heart feel better.
Loved this concept Dan! You make anything funny honestly, I can't wait to see what you do next :)
Dan is always funny. Also apparently everyone either thinks he’s an alpha or a beta and there’s no in between.
i'm just on that sigma grindset
I think a sizable number of people think he’s an omega
@@nealbrook4226 BESTIE THE NOISE I MADE 😂😭
@@nealbrook4226 he is an omega
We can settle this statistically with an ao3 tags breakdown I'm sure
This video made me smile at least 8 times. Which, for me nowadays, is quite an incredible thing. This is why I love your videos. Keep doing what makes YOU happy, we support you, no matter what💙
The boldness of Dan leaving in the usernames
Just hearing him talk takes me back to childhood and i cant help smiling while watching
Same 🥺💜
For me is my teens but same
yessss me too I needed this for sure
dan: im gonna just make this an easy, reaction-type video
also dan: drops a philosophical rant on the brains mechanisms about judgment first
oh hi there, hope you know we love you for those😘 (and I can't say anything here, I wrote a whole paper on that last semester)
Came to see you last night in York and I just wanted to say I think it’s honestly the best live show I’ve ever been to. I was laughing nonstop and the end had me absolutely sobbing. The part when you talked about someone shouting at you in school and no one defending you really affected me because I was in similar situations a lot. All I wanted to say was thank you Dan, thank you for putting the show out there and letting people see/hear you. Time to start embracing the void 🖤
Absolutely love this content. Even if we got this once every few months, I'd be happy! Been watching you and Phil for ages, even during those cringey fandom days lol (though I abstained from that haha) and it's nice to see you doing something again. Hope the tour is fun for you, and that you can keep doing projects that you love.
"I'm not gonna address the bottom ones"
2 minutes later: basically says he would enjoy being a bottom
multiple times even lmao
He did say he was versatile
Literally saying he wants to be chained up
The combination of "I'm not a bottom" and the soap statement is just *chef's kiss*
LIKE
He said he's vers multiple times including in this video. Of course he'd also enjoy that, why wouldn't he?
“And if someone comes up from behind me, I’d enjoy that!”
-Dan Howell, 2022
I loved this so so much!!! So glad that you're getting back on here 🥰
Pulling the phone out of the skeleton’s pelvis was a beautiful way to start reading the assumptions
Honestly, my favorite content is 100% when you look like you're having fun. Like in some of the danandphilgames videos where y'all're just messing around. Not to be corny, but it brings me joy to see other people happy!
Same! Danandphilgames are my comfort videos lol
Just loving your madness projected onto the platform
I laughed & laughed at this video, not at the horrible assumptions but at your responses, because on the flip side I can relate, especially with being said “hello” to by someone you REALLY don’t want to interact with, big fucking feels. Love that you’re back. I missed your content so much
Didn't have "Dan Howell returns to posting regularly" on my 2022 bingo card, but you know, I also didn't have "flee a country I moved to due to a war" and "get majorly burgled" on that card and those things have happened, too. This is a much better surprise than those.
Lots of strength to you, I hope you will see better days !
okay but the fact his phone's brightness is all the way down is unbelievably relatable and also unbelievably Dan
Thank you for all your hard work!!! Love the series!!
Super glad to see you uploading again, I hope you’re having as much fun as I am watching c:
I think your anxious and philosophical nature and overall kindness makes people believe you're a sub
and the whining...
Feeling incredibly called out by both of you rn
Well, I do not think about it. Why is it important?
i feel attacked pls
I mean he said he wants to be chained to a wall so def sub but that doesnt always mean bottom does it
I'm going to be honest: my only assumption about Dan is that I could invite him over for pizza and Netflix and he wouldn't talk over the show the whole time like some people I've dealt with have.
I am this person. I deeply apologize. This is why I use subtitles 🥲
I know I'm annoying when I do that. I don't do it in cinema because I try my best to hold it in, but just hanging out with friends or family, I will talk over the show. Just because I analyse it and have comments about some scenes and sometimes it's legit hard for me to not speak these things out loud
@@justme-et3sr samee that's why i'mm watching it with people to Talk About It
i love this so much this casual content is the best thing
I usually never laugh out loud at anything, but this video did it. This was real funny love it. Glad your back Dan ❤️
The Queen couldn't handle Dan uploading regular content
Dan said he doesn't own a fur suit bc they are too bulky. He never said he wasnt one. Dan's a furry confirmed.
Especially mentioning Crash Bandicoot.
He also said he’d like a murrsuit. I expected Dan to be a furry, but that bit got me feeling like a scandalized Victorian lady fanning herself.
I think this goes on the list of the "we will never know" things
He talked about how he's a furry openly in his new ranking childhood crushes video
@@longlivethegays no he admits it often now
Dans return to RUclips just so happened to happen around the hardest time of my life. So happy to have you back!
Dan is one of the only youtubers I regularly come back to rewatch all the contents :' ) Words cant describe how happy I am for these new vids 😭
I like the dynamic talking to people behind the cameras, feels super genuine
Agree
daniel, it is so heartwarming to see you create the way that you want to. having a deeply thoughtful mind often means becoming trapped in the cycle of seeking perfection to the point that one self-isolates and i’m just so glad that you are pushing through this. we are here for everything you want to give, everything you are, and everything you’ve already given. thanks for making us feel less alone.
dan i love this era. it’s comforting and nostalgic, i missed you!
Just gotta say… I genuinely miss having this much Daniel content - I can’t define why other than he takes me back to when life used to be less *theworldisendingeveryday*
"i want someone to chain me to a wall and throw something at my head" my brother in christ was that not a whole interactive introverts segment
I was thinking this too 🤨
Dan: if I told you, you could read the real thoughts of everyone in your life, would you?
Me: fuck no
Dan: of course you would!