An expression I've found very helpful for interrupting and resetting when I'm with someone who starts talking very quickly is "excuse me, excuse me!" followed by a clarifying question. People are strangely receptive to it, I've found. There's something just polite enough about it, I think, even though it's quite assertive.
This was so helpful. Not only am I learning how to interrupt others but also that I have a problem trying to carry the conversation because the other person is busy watching TV or doing something else while I want to have a back and forth conversation. ❤
Two aspects of your approach, Marianne, support me to see interruption is a risk worth taking. First, the one you make at 00.29, that "no one wants to be with someone who isn't listening". Second, I welcome hearing that if I be respectful, my interruption can be connective as well as effective.
Great subject to address. I do switch off when certain people talk for “ too long” and think oh I should be present. However as you point out it neither party ends up feeling satisfied. I shall be brave and use your interventions suggested. 👏🏽
really helpful.. I'm noticing that I have a block around interrupting and sharing because of built up resentment... and I don't know how to safely share those feelings of anger.
Hi Aubrey, I will actually make a video about anger in the coming months. For now: start by doing self connection about the anger until you find your needs - this already gives some peace. I have a whole playlist about self -connection, maybe you can check that out?
I also struggle with this. I found that what makes me go silent when I'm angry is...fear. I'm scared that I will not be able to control my anger, it will show through what I'm saying and threaten my connection with the other person.
This is really relatable for me too, thanks for sharing. It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one. I don’t know if it’s similar but I’ve found my block to be a bit of fear around sharing and my resentment is from always being the listener and feeling like I want to be heard too. Also because I want there to be a balance/mutuality in conversation. When there isn’t I feel like I’m not being valued or heard and I feel like it translates as you/ your needs aren’t important. I think what I’ve realised is I need to set more boundaries around conversation and how much I listen and also to remind myself that we’re all responsible for our own well-being ultimately. We also all deserve to feel seen and heard.
Thank you so much Marianne! This is infinitely valuable advice. In fact, just recently I was speaking with someone and had a hard time interrupting them while moderating a chat room in order that I could wrap up the chat and get some rest. Wonderful that this should pop up after such a time! Please continue sharing your amazing advice and content. Thanks again!
You are so honest and funny! I LOVE this video! I loved the tips too! It’s so helpful. It truly is a new way to communicate and it is so much more authentic and real!
I only work online Isabella! Although there are live online sessions and webinars, you can find those at cupofempathy.com. Would be nice to have you there!
Im interested to learn more...My thought is... that all of this communication feels great and I notice if we say "the right thing, "but the music underneath has a fuck you, or has any charge of hurt, trigger, fear or resentment, the language becomes an inauthentic layer on top of our truth.. Often it feels like another form of control, trying to say it the right way.... Perhaps, it calls for more softening or vulnerability in the communication. Your thoughts? And thank you for your sharing. I can feel the part of you that wants to help people to connect more with this process. :)
An expression I've found very helpful for interrupting and resetting when I'm with someone who starts talking very quickly is "excuse me, excuse me!" followed by a clarifying question. People are strangely receptive to it, I've found. There's something just polite enough about it, I think, even though it's quite assertive.
That's a great idea!
This was so helpful. Not only am I learning how to interrupt others but also that I have a problem trying to carry the conversation because the other person is busy watching TV or doing something else while I want to have a back and forth conversation. ❤
yay happy to hear that!
Two aspects of your approach, Marianne, support me to see interruption is a risk worth taking. First, the one you make at 00.29, that "no one wants to be with someone who isn't listening". Second, I welcome hearing that if I be respectful, my interruption can be connective as well as effective.
Great subject to address. I do switch off when certain people talk for “ too long” and think oh I should be present. However as you point out it neither party ends up feeling satisfied.
I shall be brave and use your interventions suggested. 👏🏽
Yay!! Glad you liked it.
Concise, relevant, valuable. Perfect! Thanks Marianne! 😃♥️
really helpful.. I'm noticing that I have a block around interrupting and sharing because of built up resentment... and I don't know how to safely share those feelings of anger.
Hi Aubrey, I will actually make a video about anger in the coming months. For now: start by doing self connection about the anger until you find your needs - this already gives some peace. I have a whole playlist about self -connection, maybe you can check that out?
I am the worst at sharing that I don’t even speak anymore.. I also noticed I have a lot of anger too but idk how that would make me go silent
I also struggle with this. I found that what makes me go silent when I'm angry is...fear. I'm scared that I will not be able to control my anger, it will show through what I'm saying and threaten my connection with the other person.
This is really relatable for me too, thanks for sharing. It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one.
I don’t know if it’s similar but I’ve found my block to be a bit of fear around sharing and my resentment is from always being the listener and feeling like I want to be heard too. Also because I want there to be a balance/mutuality in conversation. When there isn’t I feel like I’m not being valued or heard and I feel like it translates as you/ your needs aren’t important.
I think what I’ve realised is I need to set more boundaries around conversation and how much I listen and also to remind myself that we’re all responsible for our own well-being ultimately. We also all deserve to feel seen and heard.
I wish I learned this 20yrs ago
Let me know what you thought of this video!
Omg this is exactly what I needed, thank you soooo much!
Very valuable for many conversations! Thanks!!
thanks!
Super great video! Thanks so much for making these videos :)
Thank you so much Marianne! This is infinitely valuable advice. In fact, just recently I was speaking with someone and had a hard time interrupting them while moderating a chat room in order that I could wrap up the chat and get some rest. Wonderful that this should pop up after such a time!
Please continue sharing your amazing advice and content. Thanks again!
Thanks Bryan!
I need to memorize those lines! Thank you!
Thank you so much it was Great for me it is exactly what I needed, and do you give me a new Avenue thank you so much
Noa
Very useful stuff Marianne. Thank you.
Made me smile. I got the eureka moment. Thank you so much
My pleasure!
You are so honest and funny! I LOVE this video! I loved the tips too! It’s so helpful. It truly is a new way to communicate and it is so much more authentic and real!
Thank you so much!!
Thanks for these videos - I really appreciate how you are getting very granular with the NVC process!
Glad you like them!!
I love your videos so much! 🙏 Will you ever hold live workshops/masterclasses or will you only hold them online in the future? 🌸
I only work online Isabella! Although there are live online sessions and webinars, you can find those at cupofempathy.com. Would be nice to have you there!
Thank you for responding! Do I need a web cam and a computer to attend or is it possible through an iPhone? ☺️
I love this video, thank you very much. Time to practice more NVC.
I like her thoughts
What would you suggest for teaching children and teenagers to interrupt their parents and friends in conversations?
Im interested to learn more...My thought is... that all of this communication feels great and I notice if we say "the right thing, "but the music underneath has a fuck you, or has any charge of hurt, trigger, fear or resentment, the language becomes an inauthentic layer on top of our truth..
Often it feels like another form of control, trying to say it the right way....
Perhaps, it calls for more softening or vulnerability in the communication. Your thoughts?
And thank you for your sharing. I can feel the part of you that wants to help people to connect more with this process. :)