Having severe depression/anxiety is like being terrified and exhausted at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, coupled with no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hating socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s feeling everything bad at once, yet being paralyzingly numb to anything good. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Thank you for so clearly articulating that this is not nearly a 'funk' or a 'mood'. It is a full-blown disorder and can be lethal very quickly if not treated properly.
Had 5 friends all in their 30s and 40s kill themselves this year. All artists, vagabonds, and full of love and much light. 2 of them had been open about what they were going through. 3 hadn't. Been tough
I think covid is in there. It tanks the adrenals, which manage our stress. I have health issues but post covid was the first time I ever felt I had ideation. It has since passed and I believe it was covid related.
Its often because we realise in our 30s that we're not going to be the breakout artist who makes a living off the art. We know we'll have to get a 'proper job' to get ahead and yet we would rather be dead than do that office job
@@runswithraptors I think a lot of people would rather just die than work in a factory, fulfilment centre, office - just to make ends meet if you're lucky. Death is obviously OK if you've weighed it all up and decided it's not a thing you want to do
Thank you for talking about this. I lived like this for two years - no one tells you that menopause can make you suicidal. The only thing that kept me alive was knowing what it would do to my daughter. One year with HRT and life has turned around. There are so many us who were betrayed as children and adolescents and we spend the rest of our lives trying to prove we have worth - if you’re reading this, know you have worth and you can find a way through this - stay with us.
You.might also lok up the evolutionary hypotheses concerning the value of postmenopausal females (statistically studied as well in other species) to families, and ingroups. I found that every related neurological and psychological issue with which menopausal and postmenopausal human females present, from specific memory to cognitive changes, appear to have been adaptive in assisting both younger and subadult, to infants, to better function socially, as well as having increased survival rates. [some specific discrepancies do occur, which i won't address here] This what i will call loving advantage, is of powerful import. You, and the emotional, cognitive, and social changes you experience are essential, vital, needed, for the full development of ALL those around you. We find this to be true, anecdotally as well as
@@briseboy thanks for your thoughtful response. No doubt there is a very important evolutionary reason for the changes experienced during perimenopause and post menopause. And up until the two years I spent battling suicidal ideation, I would have been a staunch advocate of naturally working with and through this phase with no pharmaceutical intervention. I was also someone who hadn’t used hormonal contraceptives, so never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be singing the praises of HRT. However, the change in my mental state as soon as I started HRT was undeniable. Now, I share my story to help raise awareness of how dark menopause can get and that there’s no shame in using HRT, especially if it prevents irreparable harm.
The suicide vest analogy was profound to hear. As someone who’s struggled with depression/anxiety for years, AND contemplated suicide, I remember reading your blog post and it changed my life. Didn’t fix it 😅, but put me on a different path where I’ve reached out for help. TY for being brave enough to share and help others!
I, too, had picked a death date, had written letters, researched crematoriums for pricing, organized who would find my body so my husband wouldn't have to, the method for doing it, and had given away my belongings. I felt wonderful for the first time in years because the decision had been made, and i had the details worked out. For whatever reason, as time went on (my death date had been set a year away) the urgency, the desire began to wane. I have no idea why. And i can say honestly, the knowledge that i can do it is always with me, some days stronger than others and iften i have to deal with the impulse to go ahead and do it immediately. The few times i have shared that i feel this way, got the "ih, everyone feels that way at one time or another". Dismissive, shaming response, so I've learned not to share with anyone. I'm even careful about talking about it with my therapist. This needs to be talked about! Educate people to NOT dismiss! It can very well cost the sufferer their life.
This was perhaps the most beautiful conversation I’ve ever seen between two men. Thank you for showing others (particularly men) that being vulnerable and sharing emotions are important and okay. Andrew, you’re a very good listener. You created a space for Tim to share freely and openly. I learned a lot through your silence. Thank you. ❤
One of the most articulated discussions about depression/suicidal thoughts I’ve ever heard. I didn’t know about Tim Ferriss until this video but I’ve been amazed of how well spoken he is talking about such sensitive, deeply personal matters. Absolutely brilliant conversation.
I lived in a family where incest was normalized and kept a secret. This caused me to choose people that abused me because I actually believed abuse was love. I can't even tell you how long I have had suicidal ideation because it seems as if it has always been one of my ways of coping in a family that scapegoated me for their mental illness. Denial is such a powerful drug. Im 52. And it still haunts me even with 5 solid years of trauma therapy, DBT group and support. If more people were able to talk about SA openly, I think it would be tremendously helpful...vulnerability and honesty is incredibly healing.
Holy shit I am so sorry you had to live through that. I am living through my own hell of daily anxiety and suicidal depression x 2 years. I know it won’t fix anything but I just wanted to say that nobody deserves what you went through. You have worth.
For me it’s not necessarily suicidal, but more the pain of living with a desire to die suddenly and painlessly, so I wouldn’t have to deal with burdening my family
I understand that. It took me some time to understand that those thoughts do put us at risk for suicide. Please get some support 🙏 talking with someone on the lifeline can be such a relief.
Just to reply, I was in a dark place when I wrote that just kind of explaining things where I was at, thanks so much for your kind words. I am doing better lately and want to try my best to see this thing of Life out. I just expressing my darkness at the time since I really didnt have anyone to talk to. But that was actually not true. I shared bits with family and friends and just held on, and things have slowly gotten better. They arent "fixed" but definitely better. I hope anyone who understands that feeling of not wanting to exist keeps trying. YT vids actually helped me alot the further into I got. You are here for a reason, and sometimes the darkness and pain are necessary to grow, even if they are going on for a long time. Wish you the best, dont give up, grow past. It just sucks sometimes 💓
I feel like this everyday. My husband died 10 mths ago and I'm struggling I lost everything I had and just don't want to exist anymore. If I knew what to do I would end it now. Thank you for your post.
Your analogy is interesting… i want to “go away” because no one genuinely cares. I never get depressed bc “i dont think im good enough” its more because no one sees my great, or they just dont care. Peoples selfishness makes me suicidal. I dont have a “pick me” complex, I actually dont like attention generally. I just want someone to care about me. Stems from mother issues tho. I have done my healing, i understand it, i feel great & love me, but when i get depressed & want to “quit” it stems from not being cared about
If anyone out there needs it, there's a small mindfulnesss book called 30 Days to Overcome Suicidal Thoughts by Harper Daniels. It can help destigmatize the thoughts. Way more people experience them than we realize.
Depression is another terrible decease. I recall having the narrow minded attitude that suicide was predicated on selfishness, but that changed oldest nephew (my older brother’s first-born son) died by suicide. It was then that I realized that someone had to be in so much pain as to go out of their way to kill themselves and to devastate those who loved him the most. My poor brother and his wife’s life has changed forever. They stopped hosting Christmas and decide they wouldn’t attend any more family socials. That tragic moment happened in Match 2018, and still act as if it happened today.
Was he on SSRIs by any chance? Lots of people actually kill themselves because of these drugs and then the suicide gets blamed on ‘depression.’ Psychiatry likes to try to medicalise ‘depression’ (pretty vague term that means many different things) as some sort of biological disease, so they can prescribe pills that don’t work to ‘treat’ it.
@@heiliger_sturm Well, my suicide thoughts started in 2nd grade. Never had taken any drugs, alcohol or meds until the age of 17. Suicide is not a side effect of those meds directly - it is the short rise of hope, that encourages them to manifest what they are feeling - it is the feelings not the meds. But you are right, no SSRI can make traumatic experiences unhappened.
@@loveoneanotherdonthate Suicide is actually a well-known side effect of SSRIs. In most countries, the side effects listed include possible increases in suicidal thoughts and behaviour. It is a known side effect that can occur, but as usual, doctors typically don’t tell patients about it. It’s all about marketing.
Thank you for talking about this! For years I thought I was the only one who lived with these thoughts and feelings, but as I've gotten more open about what it's like to live life on the edge of a slippery cliff, I've found more and more people in the same place. Hearing stories like this that I can relate to so much, from people that have come out the other side, helps so much. It's hard to imagine getting there, but it provides hope that it can be done.
I remember being moved to my 7th foster home ( she became my legal guardian ) .. I was so sad and depressed . I just wanted my foster mum to show me affection and not be so hard on me . i tried taking my life at 16 .. i wanted to escape . i never went through with it as i was too scared .. but i wanted out from the pain of not being wanted and being placed on home after home .. only to be adopted by a mom that was cruel and narcissistic. most painful experience ever . I’m 42 now and have moved to Australia and forged an amazing life here . i now have a daughter that i can love and show affection to . I can never understand how you can live with someone for 15 years and you mean nothing to them ..
I'm also an adoptee. Reading what happened to you is so painful. But people don't understand what it means being orphaned, adopted, etc. Do you think that moving to another place was crucial for your 'healing'? I always had the idea, but the idea of 'it will never solve your problems' never silenced...
@@loveoneanotherdonthate yes i had to move to not be codependent on her . I was always wanting to gai. her approval . I also like the warm weather in Australia . I landed an amazing job and was able to buy a house and pretty much pay it off . I just listened to my gut that said i needed to move and so i did . My twin moved at 16 so i wanted ro be close to her . She had even a harder time with our foster mom too
Thank you for sharing 🙏 people don’t talk enough about suicide when it is very thoughtful, considered and planned. I lost my friend to suicide where she had changed her will, looked at the numerology of the date (she was so into that), met with her parents separately to spend quality time with, she was superficially happy because I think she had made peace with what she was going to do. I did not know that was a sign…
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Tim nailed it, the thoughts about "yes, I have all this, but I can't change my state." I've never heard anyone speak to that before, and only talked about it in my head - never to anyone else.
I have utmost respect for people who take their own lives. I’ve many times thought about it and also know exact how and where it will take place. I will never judge anyone or pretend to know why they would not want to live anymore, or worse, try and convince then otherwise . It’s a very lonely and difficult path to travel. Life simply is not made for everyone, regardless of what you believe in. And not everyone is made for life.
I’ve been learning from you Tim for decades now.. wow. And we seek control over things . 4 hour work week? I feel you are a kind and caring person. Sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. Your contribution to the world is beautiful. And you dr huberman. You have enlightened me in so many ways . God bless you both. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
The most badass, brave and best humans I don’t personally know but LOVE. Thank you for taking this pain, transmuting it and sharing your magic with the world. Love you Tim and Andrew 🩷
The biggest strategy I do to keep the action away is taking a deep grit approach to daily living. I now expect crappy things to happen to me and kind of scream into the abyss. Kind of like that scene in Forest Gump of Captain Dan on the mast during the storm.
So needed. Your extreme vulnerability and wisdom and careful handling of this matter is ashes to beauty...redeemed and saving others from the painful darkness of secrecy and isolation.
@@blgdinger3no, it is not disrespectful. People often want to paint s****** as a selfish act that often destroys the lives of the people that loved the individual that committed it, but too often ignore the very real pain - that often lasted a very long time - that depressed people went through before they took their own life. S****** is just as much about the person that did that act than it is about the ones that loved them.
The only thing that has kept me away from actually doing the act, is my love for my cats and my blind father( i am the sole caretaker) I know they will be on the roads if I am not there to care for them. This makes my life worth living. No matter how pointless everything else is, no matter the trauma I have gone through in my childhood and teenage years, I am willing to bear the pain just so that my father and my cats can have a life. The fact that I will have to witness their deaths is horrifying, and actually at times makes me want to just do the deed. But my love for them keeps me sane.
Childhood sexual abuse is more common than anyone wants to admit. The deep shame and guilt by the victims often lasts a lifetime. I think the statistics out there are lowballing the true magnitude of the issue. Adult to child is just one form, an older child, sibling, cousin, friend, abusing a smaller child is also incredibly common.
Why is this? I guess some abusers have also been abused as children themselves but no one talks about what drives this abuse. If it's so common why is no talking about where this stems from?
@@cocoandrobin I think it’s because the topic is so vile that no one wants to face that kind of evil. Those that have sexual attraction to children of course will not want to come forward and help scientists understand what is wrong with their brains. There is a lot of stigma (rightfully so) that I think the only way to learn more is to study convicted offenders in jail or analyze their brains postmortem.
anyone who is interested, there is a paper by Lloyd DeMause called the history of childhood...it has always been a disgusting thing some sick humans do to the vulnerable
@@cocoandrobin I follow a woman who runs parenting programs that teach parents how to protect their children from CSA (she also teaches programs for kids). The best prevention is to empower children by talking to them in age appropriate ways about good touch/bad touch, good pictures/bad pictures, how to tell their parents/teacher/trusted person if something happens. This woman has so many resources and gets asked by so many schools to run her parenting programs, and is told by parents how much they are scared about their children being abused and how they want to protect their children so so much. Then the parents don't show. Or they say it's too uncomfortable, or the school should be responsible for this. But then if the school does try to run a program it gets shut down because they think 6 year olds are going to be taught about sex, but they don't seem to realise that abusers are teaching their kids about sex. Then when children disclose they're rarely believed. A CSA conviction is one of the hardest convictions to get in any country. The research on CSA isn't some big mystery, you can literally google it and plenty of organisations will come up that share the research. The experts are pretty open about it, it's just that the public don't want to listen. Like pretty much everything, prevention is better than cure. Parents don't want to have conversations that make them uncomfortable so their children are vulnerable. Few psychologists will work with offenders so programs are few and far between and require a criminal conviction to access.
I told my family about my sexual abuse which was by a first cousin uncle and my dads response was to get over it I’m not blaming my suicidal thoughts on this cause I felt this way forever but I do know that my sexual life has been messed up cause of this
Dr. Huberman - Wishing you a well deserved rest over the holiday season. I understand you have had some struggles this year, and as a fellow 'cancelled' individual, I know how hard it is to do good work. Thanks as always for freely giving people the tools, techniques and information they need to live better lives. You are a bright light. There are so many that benefit from all you do. Much love ❤
When I was working on the teen unit of an inpatient acute unit, I came to realize that, while I cannot and should not specially tell these kids of my past traumas, many of them knew. They knew it just by my reaction and connection to them. They felt it.
For those watching, I started my son on a series of children’s books when he was 1 or 2 that gives the kids the essential tools right away to lessen the probability of them being taken advantage of and assaulted. Body privacy and ownership, consent, no secrets, inappropriate touch, etc. On one particular instance my son spotted the signs from a sexual predator on a beach “complimenting” him, and he had the wherewithal to see it and get out of dodge. Also setting up routines for the child like “bathroom time is private time,” etc.., makes all the difference.
Tim, thank you so much for coming out with this confession. I was als considering my parents' death as a Go for my own suicide...we have to deliberate humankind from the taboo of suicide consideration. It is not abnormal to have those thoughts...it is absolutely human
Each and every one of us has had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. It is much more common than we think. News reports show only 1% of the number of suicides that occur-depending on the country the percentage could be higher or lower. Whether it stems from not being able to cope in certain situations, chronic depression- which in some cases is hereditary-, or from having suffered a traumatic experience in our lives, it shows up. There is no investment whatsoever in schools to help kids and adolescents to deal with their emotions, hence we as grown-ups are doing the best we can. It is ok to ask for help. We are not superhumans- we are humans, and as such, we help one another. Nothing makes a person happier than to help out. We might not be able to solve whatever problem one may be going through, but it really helps to talk about it.
Do read my above reply to a postmenopausal female. The HIGHLY variable cognitive and psychosocial maturity of "grown-ups" remains distributed across the ENTIRE spectrum of human development. See Human Developmental Sciences curricula for a good handle on such variance.
I think it’s an injustice that the food industry, the medical industry and the scientific community can’t get together to address the issue of brain inflammation/illness and malnourishment imposed on those that have these genetic deficiencies that drive them to thoughts of suicide. It can happen to anyone. During the Great Depression, some who lost a lot of money, took their lives. So the reasons behind those thoughts vary. However, there are vulnerable populations. I have an aunt who is part of that vulnerable population and what irritates me is the fact that her doctors would just give her one prescription after another to the point where she had so many of them. I could only imagine the harm, if a doctor wanted to introduce psychedelics to her. How that would affect her entire family that has to worry about her. She starts her morning with two bowls of sugary cereal, then eats more highly processed food throughout the day, then ends her evening with another two bowls of sugary cereal. Her brain never gets a break from highly processed foods and sodas. I guess the food industry thinks that the pharmaceutical industry will take care of everything and our bodies don’t work that way. After her husband died of a heart attack, she became more depressed and went through each of her adult childrens homes. She finally wanted to live with my father. That’s when he decided that he needed a hip replacement so he can be more active. Doctors are not trained to understand family dynamics. He was diabetic. He had no business having that surgery done. He died from that surgery. She still living eating all that crappy food taking all that medication. It’s sad that they need to rely on other vulnerable individuals to reach out to others and relive the suicidal experiences over and over again. People are making money off of depression and even suicide. It’s crazy. I am grateful every day. for those that are gurus of health, and even when it goes against the grain of these big industries.
My brother in law died by suicide this year. The likening of suicide to strapping an explosive vest to yourself and walking into a room filles with your loves ones and blowing it up is incredibly accurate. If you know, you know. Please, get help if you are in this place. Your depression is not you and you are not your depression. I say this as someone who has suffered from severe depressions and suicidal ideations. It is not you that's the problem and it isn't your fault. Let yourself be helped. There is a way into the light out of your personal dark hell and it doesn't have to be your death. The voice in your head telling you, you're better off dead is unbearably strong but it is lying. Let yourself get help before it's the only voice you listen to anymore.
I was sexually abused when I was 14 and had an abusive step dad who was an alcoholic and cocaine addict who emotional and mentally abused me and it has ruined my life in every way possible. I had to be homeschooled to graduate which took me too 20 years old to do. I wasn't able to hold down a job to save my life I got addicted to alcohol to cope and got kicked out at 23 with zero support from my family, wasn't able to make it work and none of my relationships could work either because of how messed up I am. Now at 32 after a huge struggle with my mental health and keeping my bills paid and trying many jobs I had to move back in with my mom and file for disability and I'm at a point where I just don't want to do this anymore and if I can't get disability I'll either be homeless or commit suicide because if I couldn't make it work with a roof over my head I don't have high hopes I'll be able to do it homeless.. it gets especially bad for me during holidays....
You were meant to be here in this time. You are not a mistake. Don't stop looking for ways to improve your life You're worth the effort. Many blessings
Keep going, measure your progress in zyears not months. Research CPTSD on RUclips, so many people are going through the same thing and there are lots of ways to heal available. I also suffered childhood abuse and then mental health problems and inability to make work or relationships work. I found meditation in my teens which I believe saved me, since then I’ve been on a journey of exploring different healing modalities. Very honest and non judgmental journaling can also really help. AA groups such as ACA or CODA are also great for community and healing and they’re free. You can do this, you were put on this earth for a reason. When you recover you’ll have so much empathy because of what you’ve been through.
I also suffer from childhood trauma. It sucks life is a nightmare sometimes... I can recommend RUclips channel Crappy Childhood Fairy. It's beyond helpful and accurate content!
Does anyone else think that people who say that say suicide is selfish and passes pain onto their loved ones, couldn’t have loved that person? Who wants a loved one to live in pain for an indefinite numbers of years, to save themselves from dealing with grief?
This is what narcissists say when someone dies from suicide. It’s called victim blaming. ‘My sick relative who just died from their condition in pain and all alone is not the victim. I am. I am everybody. Look at ME.’
No. That’s awfully judgmental for no good reason. People cope in different ways and suicide is very painful for everyone who loved the person who died. It destroys people and causes them deep pain for the rest of their days. Who are you to judge whether their love was real or not? Who are you to judge whose pain is more worthy?
@@pugsley201I promise you that person was in a million times more pain and suffering then the pain the family and friends are feeling from their loss. As someone who suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideations for 10 years whos also lost multiple friends to suicide the pain I experienced in depression was infinitely more powerful than losing a close friend. Doesn’t compare. If someone suffers from severe depression and they exhausted all options to try and recover, they have the right to end their life. You cannot tell a person who lives in unbearable pain and suffering that they need to continue to live just so others aren’t sad. That’s cruel.
@@danielgiordani7625i probably agree with you, but i think the real reason why people use the family’s grief as a reason for someone not to kill themself is because at some point the depression will be better. it’s not them saying “suffer your entire life for us to not feel grief,” it’s them saying “your current suffering is temporary and isn’t worth dying for”
@@malemaline I’ve got you man. Sounds like sometimes you’re detached and maybe have a hard time feeling good, bad or anything at all. Let me put it to you this way - what would you do if you weren’t afraid?
If I wasn't afraid and had money. I'd stop working and just get a place somewhere quiet and not much to be honest. I'm exhausted by life.. I just feel like I need a break from all the stress and to heal from my family's dysfunction@@bestwesterner
About a year ago I had been taking an antidepressant for about 6 years; I had been on other antidepressants as well totaling 13 years of antidepressant therapy; the manufacture changed on the antidepressant I’d been on for 6 years; I had a horrible reaction to this change that put me in a mental hospital; the horrible dr misdiagnosed me as bipolar took me off my antidepressant therapy completely, placed me on meds that zombified me; this lead to a horrible demise of myself. I ended up attempting suicide; I almost died. When you get into the mind set of darkness, thinking your family would be better without you it’s a horrible thing. That dr who did that to me I feel should be held accountable! You don’t just take someone off of an antidepressant after taking one for 13 years then place them on a medication that distorts and destroys them completely. I’m still recovering even after a year from this horrible experience.
I made a serious attempt in 2009. The only reason I’m here now is bc my ex just happened to come over, realized something was wrong, and called an ambulance. Once I gained full consciousness in the hospital I did not feel happy that I had been given a second chance at life. I was fully ready to end my life and was not looking for attention. Although I am not suicidal now, I’m still not happy my attempt failed, and I find myself asking the Universe “what’s the point?” I know there are no coincidences so I’m still, after all these years, wondering why I’m here.
Do not kill yourself. This is not an outcome to your life that can happen. I experienced a major depressive episode. It was the worst experience of my life. I felt hopeless and helpless, and believed I’d lost everything. I survived because I finally got admitted to a public hospital at an academic centre. If you’re seriously depressed, go to hospital. It will not be fun, but it can be life saving.
I wish it wasnt so stigmatized. We have no choice in being brought into this world or the childhood we are given. People shouldn't be looked down on when they choose for themselves. "Its selfish" is it more selfish for them to stop their pain or for you to guilt them into suffering when they don't want to anymore
Could you please consider having the wonderful human Tim Ballard on your podcast, an expert on child abuse. This subject needs to be talked about out loud not kept quiet. It would be great to start talking loud about this subject ….. understand where it’s coming from and understand for those who don’t understand how and why it is so wrong for the child and for them in actual fact.
YES! The very neural and biological development of the abused and neglected, is so profoundly affected that many of the heritable psychological and physical, phenotypic expressions of genes are directly traceable to variations in nurturance. Cognitive heuristics and biases we learn or cling to unto death, are so statistically traceable. Culture IS taught, inadvertently, through modeling to infants and young, until pubertal neural and cognitive changes afford some self- and other- evaluation; Trauma/wounding /injury are not at all a natural, inevitable fate. The acute perceptions of the very young, mediated by that neural/glial synaptic pruning which Dr. Huberman may or may not have ever discussed, evolved to adapt a young organism to ever- and immensely- variable environments, and thrive in spite of difficulties. Its drawbacks ARE evident in individuals and cultures persisting in bias, delusory inculcation, and consequent abuse, right there in world, national, and regional news, exhibit some of the misdirected violent aggression and seemingly lethally distorted behaviors of groups, or maladapted individuals.
"If in heavy horrible dreams anxiety reaches its highest degree, it causes us to wake up, whereby all those monstrous horrors of the night vanish. The same thing happens in the dream of life when the highest degree of anxiety forces us to break it off."
So far I have found suicide helpline and help for autism absolutely beyond useless! , , It’s like jumping out of a burning building, you don’t want to jump, you want to escape the fire! That is a great analogy
The only reason you are alive here in this form is because you're afraid of going into a different form. So the only thing that keeps you literally here on this planet is your fear. If you didn't have fear you wouldn't be here anymore and you wouldn't be going through all the suffering. So you're literally creating this dream. You're in a dream. You've constructed this dream because you're afraid to go to a higher dream and so that fear is the linchpin that holds absolutely everything together. Your fear of death.
Thank you Andrew and Tim...both of you (about my son's ages) give me an opportunity to br me. I have been very down and had those "feeilngs"...but I find you two and others help me. I would be so proud to be your mother. I can do better...and thank you kind spirits, Sadly, I wonder who has not been sexuall abused.....it has happened to everybody I know...how sad is that
I luckily never was. I can see kids innocently checking each other out, but adults doing this to little kids, no amount of punishment is too severe. I frankly consider these people soulless animals.
@@JG-kw4jv aye man, no disrespect I love Doc. Been following him for years. I doubt he’ll even see this. However, since this video is about suicide, and there are 3 ads, plus I’m pretty sure he has plenty of money to monotone a singular video, I don’t think it’s that bad of a proposal. Sorry that I just so happen to disturb your intelligent big brain, my mistake 😂😂
They need to legalize assisted suicide here in US. I have to get a passport and travel to another country just to research the options. Canada and Switzerland are my current plans. Would be easier if I could have the procedure done here in US to make my body transit simpler.
@@nomadicfx why the restrictions. if i made my decidsion its just how. medically assisted is the most logical. dont want people going out in a blaze of fury risking the injury to others.
I’m learning to stay with the pain and I make sure I find a view where i can feel that I’m seeing the corners of my eyes and see the entire horizon and i focus on my breath and the pain which is now like a baby so i’ll be gentle with it. and i thought i can just wait it out like not add any more pressure you know self-care which I did for a year but now i can do something i make sure i do things and only if i can. Not to escape no no but staying with the pain to carry the pain and still accomplish 3 goals for the day that if i do for many months could bring me newer things in life something else to focus on coz in the grand scheme of things we are all dead already. There is no time. We are all mirrors and if you don’t like what you see in the mirror then sometimes you can just not like it. the mirror gives me little reflections and if i just keep looking at it i find something else.
I watched this episode and then came across a music video of Claire Crosby singing this beautiful rendition of O Come, O Come Emmanuel. I have always believed in a Savior and a God. I couldn't help but be struck by the parallel of people waiting for a Savior to come and the message in this podcast. And the sacrifices that were made by Tim for the people that needed him. I think it's the best we can do for each other while on this earth. And the true measure of success.
The fact that so many people s abuse others is one of the reasons I’ll never have kids. I’ll die before I create someone who is responsible or subjected to that kinda stuff
I’m thankful I had a high school economics teacher who would say something like, “there’s no such thing as near…anything.” He would continue saying something like there’s no reason to say near. I guess his point was that it either was or wasn’t, so I kind of cringe when this fellow said he had a near suicide. I think about suicide (nearly) every day, also know how I’ll do it but I remember my cat or that I’m just really tired in that moment. I would say a “near” suicide is if you pointed a gun to your head, pulled the trigger and for whatever reason the bullet scathed your head causing massive bleed out but somehow you survived your lousy attempt. But, I can’t relate to his message if this or a similar scenario didn’t happen to him. He’s just like all of us struggling he just talks about it on media..
Any thoughts on anti-depressants? I heard Mr. Peterson say something along the lines of “yeah they’re not at all perfect and come with a wave of side effects, but if you’re going to choose either that or death?”
Work with a trusted doctor, monitor side effects and the doc can adjust if need be. I started on one, but it wasn’t a good fit. Hope you find your way to peace.
I haven’t watched this yet but I wonder what kind of insight these two well established and regimented guys have to say about dying by your own hand. Seems the comfort they have available to them would be enough to knock their depression levels down a few notches.
Lots of “successful people” end their lives on a whim sometimes with no warning. Childhood sexual assault is no joke, that’s not sth you get over simply through “comforts available”. I hope you changed your opinion after watching the video. Tim even addressed these types of ignorant comments.
This podcast is way too long for someone with anxiety and depression. Most of us don't have the attention span or focus. Can you please make one that is more comdensed for those of us that are struggling.
Wow, just wow. I couldn't of happened across this an a more opportune time. Either whatsoever that's big brother monitoring my everything or the universe or God or the grand scheme... Is it all the same thing ? THANKS BE TO YOU BOTH. Tim, chalk me up as one of thems wahts among the many more than dozens. Much love to you both, as you both exemplify.
I’ve been wanting to speak on this topic. I’m going to email you Tim. I just finished your book. I’ve been on the 4 hour since 2003. Ofoto omg I wanted to die there lol
What if there is no one you care about or anyone that cares about you ? No suicide vest in that situation. I think there should be suicide assistance so as not to leave a mess for strangers and also an opportunity for a creative death and maybe to leave organs for those that need them(or think they do)...Nobody asks to be born ,its impossible ,but once alive there should be a high level of human rights and there is not. If there was the world would be a different place
![Stromae, Pomme - “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1F3OGIFnW1k/mqdefault.jpg)
Having severe depression/anxiety is like being terrified and exhausted at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, coupled with no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hating socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s feeling everything bad at once, yet being paralyzingly numb to anything good. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Thank you for so clearly articulating that this is not nearly a 'funk' or a 'mood'. It is a full-blown disorder and can be lethal very quickly if not treated properly.
Man, that is the PERFECT way to describe those 2 together.
Ditto. Perfect description.
Keep telling yourself you have it, and that will come true
@@JohnStockton7459are you a professional mental health practitioner?
@@JohnStockton7459 "Far better is it to be silent...and be thought a fool, than to speak up...and remove all doubt."
Had 5 friends all in their 30s and 40s kill themselves this year. All artists, vagabonds, and full of love and much light. 2 of them had been open about what they were going through. 3 hadn't. Been tough
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss bro. I hope you heal from the loss
I think covid is in there. It tanks the adrenals, which manage our stress. I have health issues but post covid was the first time I ever felt I had ideation. It has since passed and I believe it was covid related.
Its often because we realise in our 30s that we're not going to be the breakout artist who makes a living off the art. We know we'll have to get a 'proper job' to get ahead and yet we would rather be dead than do that office job
@@leigh7507 it's a pretty immature sentiment. Practice art outside of work 🤷♂️
@@runswithraptors I think a lot of people would rather just die than work in a factory, fulfilment centre, office - just to make ends meet if you're lucky.
Death is obviously OK if you've weighed it all up and decided it's not a thing you want to do
“take the pain and make it part of your medicine” 🙏🏼
Thank you for talking about this. I lived like this for two years - no one tells you that menopause can make you suicidal. The only thing that kept me alive was knowing what it would do to my daughter. One year with HRT and life has turned around. There are so many us who were betrayed as children and adolescents and we spend the rest of our lives trying to prove we have worth - if you’re reading this, know you have worth and you can find a way through this - stay with us.
You.might also lok up the evolutionary hypotheses concerning the value of postmenopausal females (statistically studied as well in other species) to families, and ingroups.
I found that every related neurological and psychological issue with which menopausal and postmenopausal human females present, from specific memory to cognitive changes, appear to have been adaptive in assisting both younger and subadult, to infants, to better function socially, as well as having increased survival rates.
[some specific discrepancies do occur, which i won't address here]
This what i will call loving advantage, is of powerful import. You, and the emotional, cognitive, and social changes you experience are essential, vital, needed, for the full development of ALL those around you.
We find this to be true, anecdotally as well as
[Excuse the knuckles and thumbs causing preposting comments!]
. . . . as well as in some comparative wellness studies.
@@briseboy thanks for your thoughtful response. No doubt there is a very important evolutionary reason for the changes experienced during perimenopause and post menopause. And up until the two years I spent battling suicidal ideation, I would have been a staunch advocate of naturally working with and through this phase with no pharmaceutical intervention. I was also someone who hadn’t used hormonal contraceptives, so never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be singing the praises of HRT. However, the change in my mental state as soon as I started HRT was undeniable. Now, I share my story to help raise awareness of how dark menopause can get and that there’s no shame in using HRT, especially if it prevents irreparable harm.
HRT is an absolute life changer! Bright Blessings to you 🌺
TRT/HRT is a life saver for men too!
The suicide vest analogy was profound to hear. As someone who’s struggled with depression/anxiety for years, AND contemplated suicide, I remember reading your blog post and it changed my life. Didn’t fix it 😅, but put me on a different path where I’ve reached out for help. TY for being brave enough to share and help others!
I, too, had picked a death date, had written letters, researched crematoriums for pricing, organized who would find my body so my husband wouldn't have to, the method for doing it, and had given away my belongings. I felt wonderful for the first time in years because the decision had been made, and i had the details worked out. For whatever reason, as time went on (my death date had been set a year away) the urgency, the desire began to wane. I have no idea why. And i can say honestly, the knowledge that i can do it is always with me, some days stronger than others and iften i have to deal with the impulse to go ahead and do it immediately. The few times i have shared that i feel this way, got the "ih, everyone feels that way at one time or another". Dismissive, shaming response, so I've learned not to share with anyone. I'm even careful about talking about it with my therapist. This needs to be talked about! Educate people to NOT dismiss! It can very well cost the sufferer their life.
So glad you're opening up on this subject especially during the holidays. I hope this helps others.
Well said.
Yes, this!!!
This was perhaps the most beautiful conversation I’ve ever seen between two men. Thank you for showing others (particularly men) that being vulnerable and sharing emotions are important and okay. Andrew, you’re a very good listener. You created a space for Tim to share freely and openly. I learned a lot through your silence. Thank you. ❤
One of the most articulated discussions about depression/suicidal thoughts I’ve ever heard. I didn’t know about Tim Ferriss until this video but I’ve been amazed of how well spoken he is talking about such sensitive, deeply personal matters. Absolutely brilliant conversation.
Hubermans ability to sit and listen fully is testament to a regulated nervous system and capacity for empathy
Huberman is one of the world's top minds at exploiting women
He listens? lol.
I lived in a family where incest was normalized and kept a secret. This caused me to choose people that abused me because I actually believed abuse was love. I can't even tell you how long I have had suicidal ideation because it seems as if it has always been one of my ways of coping in a family that scapegoated me for their mental illness. Denial is such a powerful drug. Im 52. And it still haunts me even with 5 solid years of trauma therapy, DBT group and support. If more people were able to talk about SA openly, I think it would be tremendously helpful...vulnerability and honesty is incredibly healing.
Holy shit I am so sorry you had to live through that. I am living through my own hell of daily anxiety and suicidal depression x 2 years. I know it won’t fix anything but I just wanted to say that nobody deserves what you went through. You have worth.
Maybe you will like Ali Zeck.
@@hofahome Thank you so much for your compassion! I really appreciate you.
@@johannakunze3300 Thanks Ill check that name out!
And so is not being alive healing I think. Sorry to hear about this incest at the home. There's a reason for everything.
For me it’s not necessarily suicidal, but more the pain of living with a desire to die suddenly and painlessly, so I wouldn’t have to deal with burdening my family
Talk to someone please. My best friend recently left us and honestly it’s incredible how much pain everyone is in. People love you.
I understand that. It took me some time to understand that those thoughts do put us at risk for suicide.
Please get some support 🙏 talking with someone on the lifeline can be such a relief.
Just to reply, I was in a dark place when I wrote that just kind of explaining things where I was at, thanks so much for your kind words. I am doing better lately and want to try my best to see this thing of Life out. I just expressing my darkness at the time since I really didnt have anyone to talk to. But that was actually not true. I shared bits with family and friends and just held on, and things have slowly gotten better. They arent "fixed" but definitely better. I hope anyone who understands that feeling of not wanting to exist keeps trying. YT vids actually helped me alot the further into I got. You are here for a reason, and sometimes the darkness and pain are necessary to grow, even if they are going on for a long time. Wish you the best, dont give up, grow past. It just sucks sometimes 💓
@@chriswesallen 🧡🧡🙏 I’m glad you talked with friends and family. Our minds can be an awful prison sometimes.
I feel like this everyday. My husband died 10 mths ago and I'm struggling I lost everything I had and just don't want to exist anymore. If I knew what to do I would end it now. Thank you for your post.
So grateful to have found Tim a long time ago and Andrew more recently. These dudes are luminaries for dark times.
Your analogy is interesting… i want to “go away” because no one genuinely cares. I never get depressed bc “i dont think im good enough” its more because no one sees my great, or they just dont care. Peoples selfishness makes me suicidal. I dont have a “pick me” complex, I actually dont like attention generally. I just want someone to care about me. Stems from mother issues tho. I have done my healing, i understand it, i feel great & love me, but when i get depressed & want to “quit” it stems from not being cared about
If anyone out there needs it, there's a small mindfulnesss book called 30 Days to Overcome Suicidal Thoughts by Harper Daniels. It can help destigmatize the thoughts. Way more people experience them than we realize.
Depression is another terrible decease. I recall having the narrow minded attitude that suicide was predicated on selfishness, but that changed oldest nephew (my older brother’s first-born son) died by suicide. It was then that I realized that someone had to be in so much pain as to go out of their way to kill themselves and to devastate those who loved him the most. My poor brother and his wife’s life has changed forever. They stopped hosting Christmas and decide they wouldn’t attend any more family socials. That tragic moment happened in Match 2018, and still act as if it happened today.
Was he on SSRIs by any chance? Lots of people actually kill themselves because of these drugs and then the suicide gets blamed on ‘depression.’ Psychiatry likes to try to medicalise ‘depression’ (pretty vague term that means many different things) as some sort of biological disease, so they can prescribe pills that don’t work to ‘treat’ it.
@@heiliger_sturmmy brother was on SSRIs and I think that had a huge contribution to his suicide
@@mjesns77 how is it ‘misinformation’ when suicide is a well-known side effect of these drugs?
@@heiliger_sturm Well, my suicide thoughts started in 2nd grade. Never had taken any drugs, alcohol or meds until the age of 17. Suicide is not a side effect of those meds directly - it is the short rise of hope, that encourages them to manifest what they are feeling - it is the feelings not the meds. But you are right, no SSRI can make traumatic experiences unhappened.
@@loveoneanotherdonthate Suicide is actually a well-known side effect of SSRIs. In most countries, the side effects listed include possible increases in suicidal thoughts and behaviour. It is a known side effect that can occur, but as usual, doctors typically don’t tell patients about it. It’s all about marketing.
Thank you for talking about this! For years I thought I was the only one who lived with these thoughts and feelings, but as I've gotten more open about what it's like to live life on the edge of a slippery cliff, I've found more and more people in the same place. Hearing stories like this that I can relate to so much, from people that have come out the other side, helps so much. It's hard to imagine getting there, but it provides hope that it can be done.
I remember being moved to my 7th foster home ( she became my legal guardian ) .. I was so sad and depressed . I just wanted my foster mum to show me affection and not be so hard on me . i tried taking my life at 16 .. i wanted to escape . i never went through with it as i was too scared .. but i wanted out from the pain of not being wanted and being placed on home after home .. only to be adopted by a mom that was cruel and narcissistic. most painful experience ever . I’m 42 now and have moved to Australia and forged an amazing life here . i now have a daughter that i can love and show affection to . I can never understand how you can live with someone for 15 years and you mean nothing to them ..
I'm also an adoptee. Reading what happened to you is so painful. But people don't understand what it means being orphaned, adopted, etc. Do you think that moving to another place was crucial for your 'healing'? I always had the idea, but the idea of 'it will never solve your problems' never silenced...
@@loveoneanotherdonthate yes i had to move to not be codependent on her . I was always wanting to gai. her approval . I also like the warm weather in Australia . I landed an amazing job and was able to buy a house and pretty much pay it off . I just listened to my gut that said i needed to move and so i did . My twin moved at 16 so i wanted ro be close to her . She had even a harder time with our foster mom too
@@loveoneanotherdonthate I agree that i don’t think the pain ever goes away but i’ve moved on with my life ..
Thank you for sharing 🙏 people don’t talk enough about suicide when it is very thoughtful, considered and planned. I lost my friend to suicide where she had changed her will, looked at the numerology of the date (she was so into that), met with her parents separately to spend quality time with, she was superficially happy because I think she had made peace with what she was going to do. I did not know that was a sign…
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
Thank you for taking about this. It’s more common than we like to admit and it’s tough for men to be this vulnerable-on the internet of all places.
Tim nailed it, the thoughts about "yes, I have all this, but I can't change my state." I've never heard anyone speak to that before, and only talked about it in my head - never to anyone else.
I have utmost respect for people who take their own lives. I’ve many times thought about it and also know exact how and where it will take place. I will never judge anyone or pretend to know why they would not want to live anymore, or worse, try and convince then otherwise . It’s a very lonely and difficult path to travel. Life simply is not made for everyone, regardless of what you believe in. And not everyone is made for life.
It is not life it is crappy human civilization that is the problem. Aggresive people survive, soft hearted good people suicide
I’ve been learning from you Tim for decades now.. wow. And we seek control over things . 4 hour work week? I feel you are a kind and caring person. Sensitive to the pain and suffering of others. Your contribution to the world is beautiful. And you dr huberman. You have enlightened me in so many ways . God bless you both. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
The most badass, brave and best humans I don’t personally know but LOVE. Thank you for taking this pain, transmuting it and sharing your magic with the world. Love you Tim and Andrew 🩷
There are some matters that can not be fixed with the mind but can only be fixed with the heart.
The biggest strategy I do to keep the action away is taking a deep grit approach to daily living. I now expect crappy things to happen to me and kind of scream into the abyss. Kind of like that scene in Forest Gump of Captain Dan on the mast during the storm.
I love this. I’ll keep that image in mind. Anti-toxic positivity
So needed. Your extreme vulnerability and wisdom and careful handling of this matter is ashes to beauty...redeemed and saving others from the painful darkness of secrecy and isolation.
Thank you for sharing this. As someone who is too a trauma survivor and has not opened up, it really allows me to start a healing journey. Thank you.
My late husband committed suicide 10 years ago. It breaks my heart every day, wondering how that affected our children...
Or how he was affected, too.
@@Prohitdsheesh how disrespectful
@@blgdinger3no, it is not disrespectful. People often want to paint s****** as a selfish act that often destroys the lives of the people that loved the individual that committed it, but too often ignore the very real pain - that often lasted a very long time - that depressed people went through before they took their own life. S****** is just as much about the person that did that act than it is about the ones that loved them.
@@ProhitdExactly
The only thing that has kept me away from actually doing the act, is my love for my cats and my blind father( i am the sole caretaker) I know they will be on the roads if I am not there to care for them. This makes my life worth living. No matter how pointless everything else is, no matter the trauma I have gone through in my childhood and teenage years, I am willing to bear the pain just so that my father and my cats can have a life. The fact that I will have to witness their deaths is horrifying, and actually at times makes me want to just do the deed. But my love for them keeps me sane.
Childhood sexual abuse is more common than anyone wants to admit. The deep shame and guilt by the victims often lasts a lifetime.
I think the statistics out there are lowballing the true magnitude of the issue. Adult to child is just one form, an older child, sibling, cousin, friend, abusing a smaller child is also incredibly common.
Why is this? I guess some abusers have also been abused as children themselves but no one talks about what drives this abuse. If it's so common why is no talking about where this stems from?
@@cocoandrobin
I think it’s because the topic is so vile that no one wants to face that kind of evil.
Those that have sexual attraction to children of course will not want to come forward and help scientists understand what is wrong with their brains. There is a lot of stigma (rightfully so) that I think the only way to learn more is to study convicted offenders in jail or analyze their brains postmortem.
anyone who is interested, there is a paper by Lloyd DeMause called the history of childhood...it has always been a disgusting thing some sick humans do to the vulnerable
@@cocoandrobin I follow a woman who runs parenting programs that teach parents how to protect their children from CSA (she also teaches programs for kids). The best prevention is to empower children by talking to them in age appropriate ways about good touch/bad touch, good pictures/bad pictures, how to tell their parents/teacher/trusted person if something happens.
This woman has so many resources and gets asked by so many schools to run her parenting programs, and is told by parents how much they are scared about their children being abused and how they want to protect their children so so much. Then the parents don't show. Or they say it's too uncomfortable, or the school should be responsible for this. But then if the school does try to run a program it gets shut down because they think 6 year olds are going to be taught about sex, but they don't seem to realise that abusers are teaching their kids about sex. Then when children disclose they're rarely believed. A CSA conviction is one of the hardest convictions to get in any country.
The research on CSA isn't some big mystery, you can literally google it and plenty of organisations will come up that share the research. The experts are pretty open about it, it's just that the public don't want to listen. Like pretty much everything, prevention is better than cure. Parents don't want to have conversations that make them uncomfortable so their children are vulnerable. Few psychologists will work with offenders so programs are few and far between and require a criminal conviction to access.
I told my family about my sexual abuse which was by a first cousin uncle and my dads response was to get over it
I’m not blaming my suicidal thoughts on this cause I felt this way forever but I do know that my sexual life has been messed up cause of this
Dr. Huberman - Wishing you a well deserved rest over the holiday season. I understand you have had some struggles this year, and as a fellow 'cancelled' individual, I know how hard it is to do good work. Thanks as always for freely giving people the tools, techniques and information they need to live better lives. You are a bright light. There are so many that benefit from all you do. Much love ❤
What happened to Huberman last year? 🤔
I don't have anyone besides therapists to share things but I haven't even found them very helpful.
When I was working on the teen unit of an inpatient acute unit, I came to realize that, while I cannot and should not specially tell these kids of my past traumas, many of them knew. They knew it just by my reaction and connection to them. They felt it.
For those watching, I started my son on a series of children’s books when he was 1 or 2 that gives the kids the essential tools right away to lessen the probability of them being taken advantage of and assaulted. Body privacy and ownership, consent, no secrets, inappropriate touch, etc. On one particular instance my son spotted the signs from a sexual predator on a beach “complimenting” him, and he had the wherewithal to see it and get out of dodge. Also setting up routines for the child like “bathroom time is private time,” etc.., makes all the difference.
.... overachieving is a trauma response.... :(
🙄
Tim, thank you so much for coming out with this confession. I was als considering my parents' death as a Go for my own suicide...we have to deliberate humankind from the taboo of suicide consideration. It is not abnormal to have those thoughts...it is absolutely human
The details do not bore but invite us in. Thank you for being so bold
This is like hearing some of my own thoughts in my head
Tim has helped so many people in so many ways.
This guy is fantastic. I'm extremely thankful for sharing his story.
I called the suicide hotline in my country once, it was disconnected.
Each and every one of us has had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. It is much more common than we think. News reports show only 1% of the number of suicides that occur-depending on the country the percentage could be higher or lower. Whether it stems from not being able to cope in certain situations, chronic depression- which in some cases is hereditary-, or from having suffered a traumatic experience in our lives, it shows up. There is no investment whatsoever in schools to help kids and adolescents to deal with their emotions, hence we as grown-ups are doing the best we can. It is ok to ask for help. We are not superhumans- we are humans, and as such, we help one another. Nothing makes a person happier than to help out. We might not be able to solve whatever problem one may be going through, but it really helps to talk about it.
Do read my above reply to a postmenopausal female. The HIGHLY variable cognitive and psychosocial maturity of "grown-ups" remains distributed across the ENTIRE spectrum of human development.
See Human Developmental Sciences curricula for a good handle on such variance.
I think it’s an injustice that the food industry, the medical industry and the scientific community can’t get together to address the issue of brain inflammation/illness and malnourishment imposed on those that have these genetic deficiencies that drive them to thoughts of suicide. It can happen to anyone. During the Great Depression, some who lost a lot of money, took their lives. So the reasons behind those thoughts vary. However, there are vulnerable populations. I have an aunt who is part of that vulnerable population and what irritates me is the fact that her doctors would just give her one prescription after another to the point where she had so many of them. I could only imagine the harm, if a doctor wanted to introduce psychedelics to her. How that would affect her entire family that has to worry about her. She starts her morning with two bowls of sugary cereal, then eats more highly processed food throughout the day, then ends her evening with another two bowls of sugary cereal. Her brain never gets a break from highly processed foods and sodas. I guess the food industry thinks that the pharmaceutical industry will take care of everything and our bodies don’t work that way. After her husband died of a heart attack, she became more depressed and went through each of her adult childrens homes. She finally wanted to live with my father. That’s when he decided that he needed a hip replacement so he can be more active. Doctors are not trained to understand family dynamics. He was diabetic. He had no business having that surgery done. He died from that surgery. She still living eating all that crappy food taking all that medication. It’s sad that they need to rely on other vulnerable individuals to reach out to others and relive the suicidal experiences over and over again. People are making money off of depression and even suicide. It’s crazy. I am grateful every day. for those that are gurus of health, and even when it goes against the grain of these big industries.
Tim is an amazing human being.
My brother in law died by suicide this year. The likening of suicide to strapping an explosive vest to yourself and walking into a room filles with your loves ones and blowing it up is incredibly accurate. If you know, you know. Please, get help if you are in this place. Your depression is not you and you are not your depression. I say this as someone who has suffered from severe depressions and suicidal ideations. It is not you that's the problem and it isn't your fault. Let yourself be helped. There is a way into the light out of your personal dark hell and it doesn't have to be your death. The voice in your head telling you, you're better off dead is unbearably strong but it is lying. Let yourself get help before it's the only voice you listen to anymore.
This is the 12th step, working with others.
Medication numbs, but doesn't solve the problem.
I was sexually abused when I was 14 and had an abusive step dad who was an alcoholic and cocaine addict who emotional and mentally abused me and it has ruined my life in every way possible. I had to be homeschooled to graduate which took me too 20 years old to do. I wasn't able to hold down a job to save my life I got addicted to alcohol to cope and got kicked out at 23 with zero support from my family, wasn't able to make it work and none of my relationships could work either because of how messed up I am.
Now at 32 after a huge struggle with my mental health and keeping my bills paid and trying many jobs I had to move back in with my mom and file for disability and I'm at a point where I just don't want to do this anymore and if I can't get disability I'll either be homeless or commit suicide because if I couldn't make it work with a roof over my head I don't have high hopes I'll be able to do it homeless.. it gets especially bad for me during holidays....
I believe in you, brother. You've got this. ❤
You were meant to be here in this time.
You are not a mistake.
Don't stop looking for ways to improve your life
You're worth the effort.
Many blessings
Keep going, measure your progress in zyears not months. Research CPTSD on RUclips, so many people are going through the same thing and there are lots of ways to heal available.
I also suffered childhood abuse and then mental health problems and inability to make work or relationships work. I found meditation in my teens which I believe saved me, since then I’ve been on a journey of exploring different healing modalities. Very honest and non judgmental journaling can also really help.
AA groups such as ACA or CODA are also great for community and healing and they’re free. You can do this, you were put on this earth for a reason. When you recover you’ll have so much empathy because of what you’ve been through.
I also suffer from childhood trauma. It sucks life is a nightmare sometimes... I can recommend RUclips channel Crappy Childhood Fairy. It's beyond helpful and accurate content!
@@tabithadurandt3213 Thank you for your kind words 🙏
Does anyone else think that people who say that say suicide is selfish and passes pain onto their loved ones, couldn’t have loved that person? Who wants a loved one to live in pain for an indefinite numbers of years, to save themselves from dealing with grief?
This is what narcissists say when someone dies from suicide. It’s called victim blaming. ‘My sick relative who just died from their condition in pain and all alone is not the victim. I am. I am everybody. Look at ME.’
No. That’s awfully judgmental for no good reason. People cope in different ways and suicide is very painful for everyone who loved the person who died. It destroys people and causes them deep pain for the rest of their days. Who are you to judge whether their love was real or not? Who are you to judge whose pain is more worthy?
@@pugsley201I promise you that person was in a million times more pain and suffering then the pain the family and friends are feeling from their loss. As someone who suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideations for 10 years whos also lost multiple friends to suicide the pain I experienced in depression was infinitely more powerful than losing a close friend. Doesn’t compare. If someone suffers from severe depression and they exhausted all options to try and recover, they have the right to end their life. You cannot tell a person who lives in unbearable pain and suffering that they need to continue to live just so others aren’t sad. That’s cruel.
@@danielgiordani7625i probably agree with you, but i think the real reason why people use the family’s grief as a reason for someone not to kill themself is because at some point the depression will be better. it’s not them saying “suffer your entire life for us to not feel grief,” it’s them saying “your current suffering is temporary and isn’t worth dying for”
What a beautiful conversation
finally I learn how to put my thoughts into practice
I just feel sad, lonely, and like no one cares about me or loves me.
May I ask what your interests are?
@bestwesterner depends on the day. Sometimes I don't care about anything but other times watching shows, writing, and spending time with friends.
@@malemalinewhere u from ?
@@malemaline I’ve got you man. Sounds like sometimes you’re detached and maybe have a hard time feeling good, bad or anything at all. Let me put it to you this way - what would you do if you weren’t afraid?
If I wasn't afraid and had money. I'd stop working and just get a place somewhere quiet and not much to be honest. I'm exhausted by life.. I just feel like I need a break from all the stress and to heal from my family's dysfunction@@bestwesterner
We need to love each other more. True life exists beyond our inner animal.
About a year ago I had been taking an antidepressant for about 6 years; I had been on other antidepressants as well totaling 13 years of antidepressant therapy; the manufacture changed on the antidepressant I’d been on for 6 years; I had a horrible reaction to this change that put me in a mental hospital; the horrible dr misdiagnosed me as bipolar took me off my antidepressant therapy completely, placed me on meds that zombified me; this lead to a horrible demise of myself. I ended up attempting suicide; I almost died. When you get into the mind set of darkness, thinking your family would be better without you it’s a horrible thing. That dr who did that to me I feel should be held accountable! You don’t just take someone off of an antidepressant after taking one for 13 years then place them on a medication that distorts and destroys them completely. I’m still recovering even after a year from this horrible experience.
I made a serious attempt in 2009. The only reason I’m here now is bc my ex just happened to come over, realized something was wrong, and called an ambulance. Once I gained full consciousness in the hospital I did not feel happy that I had been given a second chance at life. I was fully ready to end my life and was not looking for attention. Although I am not suicidal now, I’m still not happy my attempt failed, and I find myself asking the Universe “what’s the point?” I know there are no coincidences so I’m still, after all these years, wondering why I’m here.
All I knew when I made my plan was that it had to look like an accident, because I couldn't stand for my family knowing it was intentional.
Do not kill yourself. This is not an outcome to your life that can happen.
I experienced a major depressive episode. It was the worst experience of my life. I felt hopeless and helpless, and believed I’d lost everything.
I survived because I finally got admitted to a public hospital at an academic centre.
If you’re seriously depressed, go to hospital. It will not be fun, but it can be life saving.
I wish it wasnt so stigmatized. We have no choice in being brought into this world or the childhood we are given. People shouldn't be looked down on when they choose for themselves.
"Its selfish" is it more selfish for them to stop their pain or for you to guilt them into suffering when they don't want to anymore
Wow.. What a beautiful brave man..❤❤❤ true inspiration
Favourite two people on RUclips in the same video :') ❤️❤️
Great clip- thanks for sharing. Love Huberman Lab!
Brilliant Tim. How brave.
Could you please consider having the wonderful human Tim Ballard on your podcast, an expert on child abuse. This subject needs to be talked about out loud not kept quiet.
It would be great to start talking loud about this subject ….. understand where it’s coming from and understand for those who don’t understand how and why it is so wrong for the child and for them in actual fact.
YES!
The very neural and biological development of the abused and neglected, is so profoundly affected that many of the heritable psychological and physical, phenotypic expressions of genes are directly traceable to variations in nurturance.
Cognitive heuristics and biases we learn or cling to unto death, are so statistically traceable.
Culture IS taught, inadvertently, through modeling to infants and young, until pubertal neural and cognitive changes afford some self- and other- evaluation;
Trauma/wounding /injury are not at all a natural, inevitable fate.
The acute perceptions of the very young, mediated by that neural/glial synaptic pruning which Dr. Huberman may or may not have ever discussed, evolved to adapt a young organism to ever- and immensely- variable environments, and thrive in spite of difficulties.
Its drawbacks ARE evident in individuals and cultures persisting in bias, delusory inculcation, and consequent abuse, right there in world, national, and regional news, exhibit some of the misdirected violent aggression and seemingly lethally distorted behaviors of groups, or maladapted individuals.
"If in heavy horrible dreams anxiety reaches its highest degree, it causes us to wake up, whereby all those monstrous horrors of the night vanish. The same thing happens in the dream of life when the highest degree of anxiety forces us to break it off."
Thank you
Everyday, never leaves....
Thank you Tim ❤
So far I have found suicide helpline and help for autism absolutely beyond useless!
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It’s like jumping out of a burning building, you don’t want to jump, you want to escape the fire! That is a great analogy
I watched a bunch of videos of how people are trained who volunteer/work for the Suicide Hotline on RUclips, its awful. Theyre so bad at helping.
The only reason you are alive here in this form is because you're afraid of going into a different form. So the only thing that keeps you literally here on this planet is your fear. If you didn't have fear you wouldn't be here anymore and you wouldn't be going through all the suffering. So you're literally creating this dream. You're in a dream. You've constructed this dream because you're afraid to go to a higher dream and so that fear is the linchpin that holds absolutely everything together. Your fear of death.
Credit to Huberman for letting Tim speak and not interjecting
Thank you Andrew and Tim...both of you (about my son's ages) give me an opportunity to br me. I have been very down and had those "feeilngs"...but I find you two and others help me. I would be so proud to be your mother. I can do better...and thank you kind spirits, Sadly, I wonder who has not been sexuall abused.....it has happened to everybody I know...how sad is that
I luckily never was. I can see kids innocently checking each other out, but adults doing this to little kids, no amount of punishment is too severe. I frankly consider these people soulless animals.
Hey Doc, I don’t think ads serve a purpose on this video. No matter what though I love your work.
Maybe you can send him a check to replace the funds he’d lose ?
@@JG-kw4jv aye man, no disrespect I love Doc. Been following him for years. I doubt he’ll even see this. However, since this video is about suicide, and there are 3 ads, plus I’m pretty sure he has plenty of money to monotone a singular video, I don’t think it’s that bad of a proposal. Sorry that I just so happen to disturb your intelligent big brain, my mistake 😂😂
They need to legalize assisted suicide here in US.
I have to get a passport and travel to another country just to research the options. Canada and Switzerland are my current plans.
Would be easier if I could have the procedure done here in US to make my body transit simpler.
i hope you stay.
I’m pretty sure you have to be a Canadian citizen to have that option in Canada.
@@kayligo figured there would be alot of paperwork involved.
According to google, 11 jurisdictions have medical assistance.
@@nomadicfx why the restrictions. if i made my decidsion its just how. medically assisted is the most logical. dont want people going out in a blaze of fury risking the injury to others.
I’m learning to stay with the pain and I make sure I find a view where i can feel that I’m seeing the corners of my eyes and see the entire horizon and i focus on my breath and the pain which is now like a baby so i’ll be gentle with it. and i thought i can just wait it out like not add any more pressure you know self-care which I did for a year but now i can do something i make sure i do things and only if i can. Not to escape no no but staying with the pain to carry the pain and still accomplish 3 goals for the day that if i do for many months could bring me newer things in life something else to focus on coz in the grand scheme of things we are all dead already. There is no time. We are all mirrors and if you don’t like what you see in the mirror then sometimes you can just not like it. the mirror gives me little reflections and if i just keep looking at it i find something else.
Incredibly brave! ❤
Just thank you
I watched this episode and then came across a music video of Claire Crosby singing this beautiful rendition of O Come, O Come Emmanuel. I have always believed in a Savior and a God. I couldn't help but be struck by the parallel of people waiting for a Savior to come and the message in this podcast. And the sacrifices that were made by Tim for the people that needed him. I think it's the best we can do for each other while on this earth. And the true measure of success.
Tim is amazing!!!
It feels like some some kind of narcissism. Defenetile did not catch how this stalk was supposed to help people with suicidal thoughts.
Could you retitle this “compelling intervention on suicide”?
Thank you.
U just saved me in a dark place
❤
❤
The fact that so many people s abuse others is one of the reasons I’ll never have kids. I’ll die before I create someone who is responsible or subjected to that kinda stuff
welcome to the club .. it's called anti-natalism
@@georgesamaras2922 I'm well aware
@@Stierenklootunderstandable thought process, but joining the Caananites makes everything even worse.
@@avengemybreath3084 ?
Thank you ❤
I’m thankful I had a high school economics teacher who would say something like, “there’s no such thing as near…anything.” He would continue saying something like there’s no reason to say near. I guess his point was that it either was or wasn’t, so I kind of cringe when this fellow said he had a near suicide. I think about suicide (nearly) every day, also know how I’ll do it but I remember my cat or that I’m just really tired in that moment. I would say a “near” suicide is if you pointed a gun to your head, pulled the trigger and for whatever reason the bullet scathed your head causing massive bleed out but somehow you survived your lousy attempt. But, I can’t relate to his message if this or a similar scenario didn’t happen to him. He’s just like all of us struggling he just talks about it on media..
Wait, you had a teacher who rejected the very concept of proximity? And I thought I supported defunding public education before ….
Any thoughts on anti-depressants? I heard Mr. Peterson say something along the lines of “yeah they’re not at all perfect and come with a wave of side effects, but if you’re going to choose either that or death?”
Work with a trusted doctor, monitor side effects and the doc can adjust if need be. I started on one, but it wasn’t a good fit.
Hope you find your way to peace.
I haven’t watched this yet but I wonder what kind of insight these two well established and regimented guys have to say about dying by your own hand. Seems the comfort they have available to them would be enough to knock their depression levels down a few notches.
Not much, really.
@@Cheximus figured as much
Lots of “successful people” end their lives on a whim sometimes with no warning. Childhood sexual assault is no joke, that’s not sth you get over simply through “comforts available”. I hope you changed your opinion after watching the video. Tim even addressed these types of ignorant comments.
This podcast is way too long for someone with anxiety and depression. Most of us don't have the attention span or focus. Can you please make one that is more comdensed for those of us that are struggling.
I got zero out of this because it was more of a ramble than anything else.
How can people be so casual about the threat pedophiles represent ?
Wow, just wow. I couldn't of happened across this an a more opportune time. Either whatsoever that's big brother monitoring my everything or the universe or God or the grand scheme... Is it all the same thing ? THANKS BE TO YOU BOTH. Tim, chalk me up as one of thems wahts among the many more than dozens. Much love to you both, as you both exemplify.
That thumbnail title sounds borderline scary.
Quality over quantity of life.
I’ve been wanting to speak on this topic. I’m going to email you Tim. I just finished your book. I’ve been on the 4 hour since 2003. Ofoto omg I wanted to die there lol
Even if its real, thats sooooo far from an actual attempt. Good story though
Plz keep the comments short. Avoid writing huge paragraphs. It’s stressful to read when u r depressed
There was no good suicide method in this discussion. Disappointed.
Soon I'll be free. ❤
What if there is no one you care about or anyone that cares about you ? No suicide vest in that situation. I think there should be suicide assistance so as not to leave a mess for strangers and also an opportunity for a creative death and maybe to leave organs for those that need them(or think they do)...Nobody asks to be born ,its impossible ,but once alive there should be a high level of human rights and there is not. If there was the world would be a different place