The 4 Reasons You FEEL LOST & How To FIND YOURSELF! | Gabor Mate & Rangan Chatterjee
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- Опубликовано: 3 июн 2021
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My guest is Dr Gabor Maté, one of the world’s most revered thinkers on the psychology of addiction, his radical findings based on decades of work with patients. We now live in a culture that doesn’t meet our human needs. We delve into how our emotional stress can translate into physical chronic illnesses. Loneliness and a lack of meaningful connection are on the rise, as are the rates of autoimmune disease and addiction.
Watch the full Feel Better Live More podcast episodes:
How Our Childhood Shapes Every Aspect of Our Health with Dr. Gabor Maté | FBLM Podcast: • How Our Childhood Shap...
Coronavirus: Gabor Maté on How Your Past Is Affecting Your Present | Feel Better Live More Podcast: • Coronavirus: Gabor Mat...
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2 years clean from a 30 year heroin, crack, benzo and methadone habit. Consider myself extremely blessed to have survived and been given insight into my inner world, freedom lies within 😊
Well done
You are one of the ‘winners’ 🎉!! Congratulations
For myself…..27 years sober…..one day at a time,
(no booze 🍸😡😡) Keep it up mate!!! 🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
I thank MY God every day……🙏🙏🙏✝️✝️
Wonderful insight from Gabor…..and TOTALLY appropriate
for me and my own childhood……😉🙋♀️🇬🇧
❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Angel Wings Surrounding,you Guiding you,and Protecting You.
Don’t know you but proud of you ❤
My favourite quote: an insane culture is a culture that doesn't meet people's needs
so ours, basically. obviously others too.
What’s your culture on stolen Indigenous lands?
Most cultures are run by oligarchies and they have there needs met and still they want more. That greed is what is killing the planet and the many people within.
I see you point, and I agree. Just to note that not any one particular culture is perfect. I moved away from an eastern country whose society is ruled by strict religious guidelines. It's way ,.much more toxic to many in that society. However they have no capacity or ability to speak about it. Just to let you know before idealising other cultures.
This wonderful man speaks more sense than any therapist, doctor or friend I've ever met. I thank the universe for his existence and being available on YTube. He's saved my sanity x
Yes, I totally agree. He knows exactly how to describe the mindset of an addicted soul. I have really learned a lot from wise people like him within the last two years, this is at least giving me some hope that eventually, I may be able to feel connection to other people again, to wake up from this painful nightmare. All the best for your sanity!
@@ici_marmotte Good luck with climbing out of the nightmare- finally having the awareness of it all is very painful to process. That's where I'm at and know this will pass and we'll learn to take care of ourselves. Good luck to you x
Gabor you have changed my life. Thank you for all you’ve done in your life, to be able to save mine! My soul thanks you. My addiction is not a drug, but it has destroyed most of my life. My trauma was repeated daily, blamed for my mothers unhappiness. I’ve believed my whole life that I’m to blame for everyone’s unhappiness. It is through your work that I’m learning to discern between what’s “mine” and what’s “your” responsibility, and so much more. Thank you!!
Im hear looking for sanity too. He is verbalizing my beliefs I cant get on board w cause society is insane from birth. I have hope
Just wait until you discover sahdguru for yourself on RUclips
Dr mate is awsome!! I saw him speak once a long time ago . He expanded my way of thinking. I'm now 3 years sober from alcohol
Congratulations! Keep strong 💪
Congratulations! I know you feel better without the alcohol. I speak from experience.
That's so wonderful. I hope you will always care for yourself.
Best decision I ever made
@@mjk5254 another admirable person for others to look up to.
"My mantra is not why the addiction, but why the pain"-Dr.Gabor Mate
😊
I ask this question of all my loved ones. Some are seeking the answer so I consider my efforts successful. Thanks Dr Mate. It means a helluva lot in my world. KAZ FROM NSW AUSTRALIA XX
Indeed, but the average addict does not want to address that.
It's not just friends we need to see and interact with every day. We need "friendly" human contact.
Very true, it’s so sad, I have trouble even trusting people not to do me wrong in someway these days, really breaks my heart.
@@rosebw1077 , this is the point I am at as well...a lifetime of my trusting nature being betrayed.... Very sad indeed
Yes!
It’s very hard to make friends when you are forced to wear a mask, even when volunteering in my local opportunity shop we have to wear a mask and how do you smile, even to talk is hard let alone breathe.
Friendly Human contact starts with You! Let’s bring it back! It’s not corny! #ILoveItHere 🥰
Gabor Mate is one of the most gracious, deep thinking and wisest human beings on the planet. May the Gods ever protect you x
Kool 89k8999kkk999999
Jules, what do imaginary gods have to do with Gabor Mate's understanding of the stress ,trauma and depression of our emotions and their relationship to our general state of mental health? Nothing. Why are you looking for answers to questions, which your religions" dogma, claims to provide all the answers. Gabor describes his philosophy as compassionate inquiry. Your imaginary god wants to punish your imperfections by sentencing you and others to an eternity of fire and brimstone. Just how many gods do you believe in and what is it you think they can protect Gabor from, death? If you cant choose between reality and gods, then at least choose one religion or god that suits the selfish emotions of your ego which currently dominate your thought process. With empathy Pete.
@@peteryunge-bateman5807 ...Dear Pete, thank you for your reply...but do you not worship the sun, the moon and all the other 'imaginary Gods' in our natural world such as bees and the divine creatures of this Earth?? There is no dogma, no ego, no fire and brimstone dominating my thought process as you suggest - the 'Gods' that I refere to are the primitive true 'Gods' that serve us through nature...empathy, Jules.
People Need money to lead better lives ~~~~~~~ Its just another promotion to sell books to make money the very issue that everyone has in the beginning ~~~Real problem is over population not enough space for people to live anymore not enough land to build on No more space left ~~~~~its a load of rubbish People need money first to buy land and build a house ~~~~~~~need to travel to other planets eventually>>>
@@peteryunge-bateman5807 You're one angry, assumptive person with zero empathy.
The Body requires touch. A hand on the arm, around the back. A hug. Just a simple touch. A smile. I work in a nursing home. I see the forgotten. I am also aware of how a kiss on the forehead. Eye to Eye contact can make all the difference. I won’t even talk about how isolated they were. We were, with Covid. Also I could go on and on about Medication, Food, Activities,but I am feeling depressed and do not want to add anything than the Power of Love and a Touch.
I love that! Power of love and a touch❤ I work in childcare and get so many awesome hugs. I am a big hugger.. hard with covid.
You are amazing! And Beatiful. I have seen how awful some nursing homes treat their residents. And even the best of nursing homes can not fulfill what involvement with family does. The emptiness or sorrow of being forgotten in eyes. I can only imagine. The feelings that arise from being shoved into a "care" facility.
I do not think I could work in a nursing home. If I did I know I would not be allowed to spend the time with each person that they need and deserve.
Please do all the self care you need, and a little more. Feel the beauty you hold. The beauty you Are.
Thank you for what you do. You make the difference. I getcthe depression being in that environment, too. They are lucky to have you!
Excellent podcast. I’m an Emergency nurse and deal with addicts of all kinds and homeless on a daily basis. During our conversations I have come to realise that pain is always behind their situations. We all numb and are addicted to something to a certain level, some more than others depending on our past traumas.
Amazing Gabor and this interviewer was fantastic 👏🏻
our suffering connects us at the most basic level of I, and that is a beautiful thing that humans have the capacity to care for others because of that suffering or in spite of.
I think you're awesome Molly!
Thank you so much for the work you do I was a heroin addict for 25 years four years clean with help from people like youxx
Don't take this as an attack please, but have you really thought about WHY you are an emergency room nurse? I initially went for nursing, then Doc of Pharmacy-- also I studied PhD level Sociology including public health disparities, human rights, and law, and now--psychology and I primarily focus on traumas of all kinds. I know why I have been on the path I am on. I know why my friends studied psychology too--our niches are part of who we are.
I love Gabor. He really makes so much sense to me.
I wish Dr Gabor Mate could be my therapist.
Yes please!
Me too!
Me three!
A child is snugged up in there mothers womb for 10 months
Warm, safe, nothing o fear.
Then bam ! They are I. The world, now having to learn .
Learning how to be a human physically, and then add emotional and their feelings! Dam when I think about it, I’m surprised we actually make it to adulthood!!!!
But thank you Dr
For all your information you give me 💪
yes me also
At 70, I am feeling and sensing that the ageing process is taking hold. I still have to work to support myself because social security is not enough. Most of the time I feel depressed and have no hope that I will be free to enjoy my older years.
I was compelled to reach out to you. You'll be alright. I truly believe that. I am sending you a virtual hug from Australia. You are not alone. You will be ok.
I just prayed for you :) You will soon receive a blessing and this blessing will allow you to enjoy the rest of your older years, which is NOW and still many years to come. May you enjoy the BEAUTY this world has to offer. I’m excited for you :)
Love,
Kassandra Marie
I hear you. I feel you. You are not alone. I'm 66. Four A.M. Hours into insomnia. Covid took me out. I'm feeling that same loss of hope, struggling to get it back. And now, in your pain, you have helped me, by letting me know I am not alone.
I am 74 and l can tell all of you, you are not alone....having spent most of my life working and taking care of myself....and in later life, my parents ( only girl ) my soc.sec. isn't excessive or always adequate as l age and require more help....l have been sent that help from many unexpected sources and by those l had no expectations of even seeing again or being a part of my life. God has Angels and they will come when needed.....be comforted and offer prayers of Thanksgiving to Our Creator
This is what happens when profit for the rich is the only consideration. I'm 51 and I see what your going through as my future. It makes me bitter as hell. Hard work since I was 13 and what does it get you? They use you til your body or mind break. Then your a lazy bum, shoulda planned better ect ect. The system itself is evil. I have my doubts that it will ever change.
I have to say, the slowing down, pandemic helped me heal, I've had a lot of introspective and time to work on myself and as a conscious parent going forward. I've found your work and started to follow my passion. Now at 37 I'm starting my first university module in October ❤
Best of luck to you!!! :)))
Awesome. I know it will be great. I hate my job a lot. I am a chef. I even took one semester math at university. I played poker for living all failed here i am. Wished to be dead sometimes if i loose connection to the present i guess.
I know i would had been exceptional engineer or doctor…. So sad sometimes. I am 35.
Oh oooo I I I I I I y yy
I'm 37 too but I've gone down the opposite path. I feel like I'm spiraling down. What did you do to help you heal? Care to share?
@@Shan-ug9nq you've recognised you are spiralling and that's a massive achievement! Self care is vital, all the little things add up: you tube videos on healing, candles, insense, music, sleep, knitting and nature for me. Do what makes YOU feel good x
This man has so much humility it's incredible.
and so much humanity
So true.. we are more disconnected than ever and lonely.. .
If one can be with oneself, there is never lonliness...just the joy of solitude but we have to be prepared to look within...an enlightened teacher...whilst extremely rare, is a great help
We always have God
@Ronald Reagan u addicted to politics? Come here bro. Let's hug it out.
@@luci6560 👏👏👏
That is part of the challenge we are facing concerning mental health treatment. Not everyone that is licensed is fitted for the job. The people who are really good at it, are really not available to regular people because they are too expensive and too busy. I had a therapist cursed me out! she send me right back to my childhood trauma. Formal education is great, but it does not make you a caring and competent therapist.
I agree. I had a therapist who told me I was a wuss for being depressed. Nope, I'm not exaggerating and no there is no missing information to this story. I was called a wuss for being depressed! That was the same appt where she cut 15 minutes off of the time I was supposed to get. I've heard of so many others having abusive experiences with mental health providers too.
Did you both report these therapists? They should not be practicing, that is horrific! I’m so sorry this happened! 😓
The best therapist is the one who has been there too.
What are the characteristics that you think that make a good therapist? Do you believe an Addictions Counselor should be in recovery? or Just educated by a book in college? Should the therapist also have mental health issues? The core of what you are saying is the compassionate side of individuals that have experienced the same disorder is greater than the compassion you get from the average psychology major college student? Because it is different. Everyone can show compassion, but can individuals that have been in the same types of lifestyles that you yourself have experienced you are going to connect to the individual that you feel truly feels the experience themselves and therefore can be compassionate in a different manner.
@@sarahiafrate-hann5789 I mean, it depends on the therapist to be honest. I’d much rather speak to someone who has lived through addiction because there are things the books can’t teach: it can’t teach individual experience. On the other hand, there are people who have an education, but don’t have the ability to empathize to the extent necessary to work with people who have addiction issues. My current therapist is amazing. She’s never had an addiction, but she has an understanding that goes beyond literature. She has gone above and beyond to educate herself with books, but also lived experience and her own research within that realm.
I think that many of us are stuck in limbo ; knowing that their current life needs healing, but also not being sure that they want to, or even can, heal. Lifestyle changes are much easier and faster.........but temporary.
I see you point, and I agree. Just to note that not any one particular culture is perfect. I moved away from an eastern country whose society is ruled by strict religious guidelines. It's way ,.much more toxic to many in that society. However they have no capacity or ability to speak about it. Just to let you know before idealising other cultures.
‘A baby’s cry is precisely as serious as it sounds’ - wrote Jean Liedloff in ‘The Continuum Concept’, the most groundbreaking book on the subject I have ever read. Published in 1975 but never given the attention and recognition it deserves as it literally can save humanity.
@@myfruitybeatsparadis3925 On it ❤️
Was thinking of Jean Liedloff when listening/that book answered so many of my questions. I buy a copy of that book to give to expectant mothers I know in the community. Most appreciate it but others give me feedback that it is inappropriate and don't read it.
5₩
@@bobmathieson987 What a nice, considerate thing to do.
Interesting that mother's say that. I don't think I agreed with everything in the book, but it shed light on many things.
I read the book long ago. Had kind of forgotten about it. Will do what you are doing when I know of someone having a baby that could use it.
"We're more wired but less connected" exactly!!!
A trauma is so difficult to heal or overcome, my sons felt my stress and frustration when growing up, I feel sorry and guilty for it. My younger son at 40 is still struggling controlling his behaviour.
Thanks for this interview.
I'm sure you did your best dont beat yourself up too much.
N. Leticia Trevino, May I suggest you regret your past behaviors and learn from them, possibly with your son, by sharing with him, a serious consideration of Gabor"s compassionate inquiry. Your emotions are depressed because your parents emotions were also stressed, traumatized and depressed. It is silly of you and others to feel guilty for the irrational behaviors which caused the trauma and depression of your emotions, your parents emotions or, your sons", emotions. Recognizing your trauma and depression is a very difficult first step in healing yourself and, if he is motivated, your son too. I hope this helps you and your loved ones. With empathy, Pete.
Same here. Daughter is 30. Getting married in Sept. I can see that she is used to doing everything for herself, as she always has. And now she thinks I should fall in line and do what she wants on her schedule. Where did she learn to think that way???? 🤔
@@peteryunge-bateman5807
In an ideal world, we could talk and ‘hug it out’ with our offspring. Yesterday, we talked.
She wants to walk down the aisle with someone ‘close’. Not me.
Someone who can ‘support’ her. Not me - I am disabled and emotional (human).
Someone she can ‘depend on’.
Not me. (She referred to and embellished past disappointments.)
And she wants to stuff me in a fancy dress. Now! I’ve never owned a fancy dress. I need time.
don't feel guilty, it is hard even recognize let alone control stress and frustration.
Dr Mate really is naturally emotionally intelligent as well as academic.. I really do relate 💯!! You can’t teach this in medical school or nursing school.. you either have emotional intelligence about the world from young age regardless of trauma.. but to have intelligence to explain it is a gift to world ❤️
Gabor Mate he is phenomenal, brilliant doctor.... so compassionate and kind on top of his brilliance ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
People Need money to lead better lives ~~~~~~~ Its just another promotion to sell books to make money the very issue that everyone has in the beginning ~~~Real problem is over population not enough space for people to live anymore not enough land to build on No more space left ~~~~~its a load of rubbish People need money first to buy land and build a house ~~~~~~~need to travel to other planets eventually>>>
Totally agree ! I want him to be my therapist. He's absolutely BRILLIANT! 💯❤❤❤💯🥰🥰🥰
Absolutely amazing beyond brilliant!!! And that's an understatement!! I could listen to him all day everyday and not get bored. What a gift to the human race an the whole medical system at large.🙏🙏❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
He is spot on, there are no more tribes, groups and communities, that were our previous support system and gave us roles, etc...
16:20 How powerful are the addictives
20:50 internal family systems
27:00 Specialists vs. Generalists
36:20 Not why the addiction, but why the pain?
38:50 What is addiction?
39:30 How can we change our understanding of addiction?
41:00 What is the ultimate source of...
46:00 Emotions and Physical health
49:30 Responsibility vs Blame
52:00 Personality and Behaviour
55:00 Reductionist medicine (are sickness our body's response to environment)
58:30 Changing life style: why some fails
1:03:00 Maternity leave of Scandinavia vs. USA
1:06:00 Why children cry
1:08:20 Second Part
1:08:30 How should we behave when someone is anxious (e.g. a children cries)?
1:12:00 WW II VS Covid: What is new, what can we learn about ourselves?
1:17:00 inequality then air pollution
1:20:00 willful oppression by government/political inequality
Mindfulness, gratitude, be kind, compassion
1:27:00 judgements by negative individuals. Early trauma causing mistrust of authority. Healthy shame.
1:30:00 joy of giving by free will, not out of compulsion
1:33:00 living with restrictions
ps. times and topics are roughly written. Corrections are welcomed.
Addendum (2022.03.15):
I'm glad if this helped. I wanted to repeat that I welcome any correction/improvements.
Also, I won't watch the second part, so ~if you can comment timeline I'd appreciate and add to the this comment.~ Thanks due to "@allthingsnewlife @All Things New".
Finally, I would also appreciate if they put this (or a better) timeline to the video description.
Perfect thx you
thank you!
Much appreciated 🙏
@@michellegash1319 You're welcome
@@Me-iu8my You're welcome
The reason why alcohol and cigarettes are seen as more “acceptable” than “street dugs,” even though they’re more lethal, is because they are “legal” (and therefore “respectable”) and the reason why they are legal, is because they generate so much revenue for the government. This sort of corruption also applies to things like prescription drugs which kill more people than “street drugs” on balance. Prescription drugs, too, are big money.
Well put!
Another one that is commonly overlooked is sugar. It's highly addictive for many people and very destructive to health and well being.
Like pubs are back open before dance groups are opened up during the pandemic….so stupid and deliberate ….I feel sad away from my friends….I need to be near to lovely people
Absolutely !
Very true but not sure if making it illegal would sort anything. Street drugs are illegal and still very much there, in our lives. Think about prohibition, when alcohol was declared illegal...just opened doors for abuse and trafficking, just like cocaine and heroin. As far as we, human beings, look for scapes and numbness from our own personal prisons, someone will always profit from these substances
Seeing the whole person, those are the magic words.😊
If only common therapists and doctors had 5% of the insight and the wisdom of Dr Mate, this world would be a much better place. And I think one of the worst things about addiction is the stigmatization which makes it even harder to reach out and to talk openly about it.
Everything he said was true in my experience with addiction. 2 years sober, and it’s been a very difficult uphill battle but never give up! Trauma needed to be heard acknowledged and helped before I could take the addiction out of my life!
I said to myself today , I don’t want to see another doctor for anything that doesn’t know how to treat me holistically -
Good luck with that 😬 They are usually too over worked and over whelmed to do anything but look at surface symptoms……..unless you’ve got cash, then crack on.
I agree yet found it impossible due to finances.
Health is something you have to take care of yourself. Read everything you can. Understand how the body and mind works.
When it comes to so called "chronic" illness, medicine is just not helpful at all. From what I can see people are labeled with certain syndromes - yet nobody in the medical field really understand causes them.
But when you look into it: All diseases start in the gut. When you're in a state of fight or flight for too long, you don't digest properly anymore. And then toxins from the food enter the blood and that causes illness. You're basically poisoning yourself because of unmet emotional needs and stress.
I’m liking this video before i watch it just because it’s Gabor Mate.
Something that I found especially insightful and poignant in how it was worded is where (beginning from 29:16) Dr. Mate said, " ..and you see that the illness - whether it's an addiction, or depression, or anxiety, or - for that matter - rheumatoid arthritis, or scleroderma, or anything else is a manifestation - not just of a system, but of an entire life, and that life is lived in a context..."
If you aren't yet also familiar with Thomas Hübl's insights in relation to trauma, then I hope you will take this as encouragement for you to look into his work, as well.
Same !!
Me, too!
@@mencadotranforming4411 indeed - excellent resource 👌🏻
As an addict in recovery I have learned more about addiction in a few short months relating to addiction than 5 yrs in fellowship. I've been able to accept my own trauma & what I was seeking to numb for 30+ yrs. I hope as I progress to use the knowledge that Gabor has privileged us with to help others still suffering. It goes so much deeper. I am so grateful for you and the knowledge you gift us with. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Gabor. You have changed my life and I will continue to learn and apply changes, grow & my purpose is now absolutely to help others suffering💜🙏
I love the combination of these two physicians they speak about a dirty little secret that is often not addressed.I have been in healthcare for years so understanding the reasons why our patients present to us they way they do makes it easier to be compassionate. We should teach this to not only physicians but every member of the healthcare system.🙏🏼🙏🏼
I don’t remember any good times in childhood.
God bless her, rest in peace lovely girl.
I tuned out so much when young and now things come back to mind later
@@Evy317 sorry for what you missed out on.
Totally agree.but the Main reason people are becoming sick mentally OR physically is this system doesn't care about children and adults emotional and economical wellbeing leading to dis ease
Wisdom, respect, insight, transparency, open minded discussion….so refreshing….
Learn to love solitude, reconnect with yourself by listening to your feelings, instincts and desires. Eat when hungry not upset, sleep when tired not upset, walk when stressed and smile when you look in the mirror. Move into yourself with playing🌈
People Need money to lead better lives ~~~~~~~ Its just another promotion to sell books to make money the very issue that everyone has in the beginning ~~~Real problem is over population not enough space for people to live anymore not enough land to build on No more space left ~~~~~its a load of rubbish People need money first to buy land and build a house ~~~~~~~need to travel to other planets eventually>>>
@@Sportliveonline The answer to our species many problems is to simply print more money! How did our species exist for more than one hundred thousand years without money? Our population is a legitimate concern we have been aware of since the 1970s and you are correct to identify it. There are many people with billions and billions of dollars but, most of us struggle to earn enough money to feed and shelter ourselves and our families. I wish you well, with empathy, Pete.
HyperColours, May I suggest that you recognize feelings, instincts and desires as just some of the many words we use to describe our emotions without our ego's having to recognize them as such. This is how and why scholarly intellects now accept as truth, the somatic marker hypothesis, which are often refered to as visceral gut feelings. To free your thought process, not from the influence of your ego's selfish emotions but, from their dominance, simply think about the selfless, ration and meaning of empathy. With empathy, Pete.
@@peteryunge-bateman5807 I'd love you to expand on that Peter.
@@peteryunge-bateman5807 well he’s not all the way wrong about people needing money. It’s true, if we’re talking about relieving suffering, doing the inner work is a must but then afterwords those people are gonna be hungry and need to eat, or perhaps afford a dr when they are sick.
"Humans have an incredible capacity to heal." Thank you for saying this and I appreciate Dr Chatterjee asking the question beforehand. It can be hard to listen to this kind of topic when it's not balanced by hope and concrete actions. Just hearing that sentence made me smile so much!
Me too. I felt exactly the same.
That is very true
GPs definitely need to be taught to bring emotion into our health.
Every time I bring emotional health up with a new GP (still searching) they just chuckle and change direction of conversation.
It's awesome to see two doctors who can think completely outside the box.
Thank you. In my experience, GP's don't help a lot. They're actually been a great cause of my health issues. My healing comes from me, within me, no GP with a prescription pad is going to cure.
I follow the likes of you and many others which has helped the most
AND you're called Karen.
@@pranavkamat3064 मेरा सिर ठीक है। मुझे नहीं पता कि करेन का सिर ठीक है या नहीं।
@@Shkronkle ⁸and
I have to agree re gp's with the exception of these two men of course .
Everything I say to my GP, he or she says: You must see a specialist. BY them saying that, they basically abdicate any responsibility for me and they also aren't listening holistically to me as a human being who has different problems but they all rest within one human being.
BY dividing ireferring me to specialists,
I never get a solution because that specialist only sees one teeny tiny part of my problem rather than the aggregate of the problem which the GPS heard but refused to address. AS early as the 70s when I was living in Italy I noted this to my friend's husband who was a medical student. She was American & he was Arab and of course the University was Italian. Regardless, I still saw the dermatologist and got NO results because the cause of the skin problem did not lie within the skin!
@@ladybug5859 I really wish people could get the answers to the root cause of all dis-ease.
Some really great insights could be found in an article I found on health news.. 25 Anazing and Disturbing FACTS about the HISTORY Of medicine.
From there one could search RUclips for a Dr. TENT "The AUTO-IMMUNE EPIDEMIC"
From there one could put the pieces together where our Governments that are controlled by the Banking cartel and he who controls the money makes the rules the rest of us live our lifes by.
No human likes to be told what to do and when we are forced to give our life and our freedom to the people who are causing the pain and seperation in our lives. We were not brought into this world to do the dirty work for the money changers and the slave owners. They were so clever we did not even see it coming.
Gabor Mate is so in touch & clued up with what's happened to our society. His understanding &,reasons for the cause of addiction are so accurate in my opinion. Childhood trauma, pain & disconnection causes addiction. Addiction is slavery, it's the original meaning of the word. I know from many years as a slave to alcohol that it was not a choice. It controlled me. I was suppressing trauma & pain just as he says. 5yrs now sober I look back in absolute horror & sadness at how addiction consumed me & was so destructive to everything in my life
On connections/connecting...my family was toxic and disordered. I didn’t realize this as a child, at all.
Yet I still tried to maintain those connections which just misled me and now affected my two children as well.
And so folks...alone=all one and once you know all one, you can “try” to find those that you’re willing to connect with. There are not many.
I share your tragedy. And you are correct there are not many out there. Narcissism is on the rise.
The section on children made me cry because my mom told us she used to put us outside in the pram in all weather's to sleep and she could do housework etc and said it didnt do us any harm and I always felt a lack of physical connection with her she said I cried a lot and now I know why I was stressed and needed connection ....I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom and I loved nothing more than sitting for hours with my babies in my arms it really got to me when he spoke about this
Love this man. Never see an addict or alcoholic without my heart going out to them. Bless them they are really really hurting !
I am never disappointed when I listen to Dr. Mate, I will spend hours listening and constantly am learning. Thankyou for relentlessly trying to spread this information, it is very much needed in our society. It's sad how our country treats us addicts from the legal system, to most of our therapy, and majority of the people.
Every time I listen to Dr Maté, I learn a little bit more about him and a lot more about myself. Beautiful human being. Looking forward to more great discussions between him and Dr. Chatterjee.
We need community, animals and a garden to work on together.
Kids love animals and farm work. Makes you strong
OH MY GOD YOU GOT GABOR MATÉ ON THE SHOW 😍😍😍
This is now officially the best podcast out there right now.
Thanks so much, Dr C. and Dr. M, for everything you do ☺️
Agree! This is the perfect combo
People Need money to lead better lives ~~~~~~~ Its just another promotion to sell books to make money the very issue that everyone has in the beginning ~~~Real problem is over population not enough space for people to live anymore not enough land to build on No more space left ~~~~~its a load of rubbish People need money first to buy land and build a house ~~~~~~~need to travel to other planets eventually>>>
I think Gabor has been on this podcast before.
@@Sportliveonline stop spamming all the threads with your copy paste nonsense. We are not illiterate. We CAN read. You remind me of the attention seeking child in a classroom who has his hand up shaking and waving vigorously saying ooh ooh, me! Pick me! I know the answer. And the teacher RARELY calls on him...because the teacher is encouraging other people to think and come up with answers...not have a know it all repeating the programming in his head. Maybe you should examine yourself to see why you need to constantly copy and paste the same answer everywhere throughout the comment section...cry for attention??? Get out of here! The ones screaming for attention as adults who need to learn societal manners get ignored. You're not welcome when you don't offer anything kind and constructive. It sound like you cannot wait for artificial depopulation by evil men and women. There is room for all. There are still vast areas of the world untouched. Stop trying to feed people your evil depopulation brainwashed nonsense. If you want depop, please be the first to stand up and offer your life on the chopping block. Stand up for what you believe in by first standing by your beliefs. And offer your life. Bet you won't tho...because you have a sick superiority complex that in your mind tells you your superior and deserve to live and judge that everyone else is worthless/useless and must die. What is funny is the very ones you want offer would be the ones who would be there to treat you when you became ill, would likely risk their life for you to keep you alive and sit by your sorry grandiose self as YOU painfully passed on. You have no empathy...no love. Go away Narc! People lived on this earth for many many years without MONEY. They traded and bartered goods and services and food, whatever they had to offer. No money exchanged. They worked for what they needed.
You want to listen to Gabor on Russell Brand and Rich Roll. Best discussion 👌
It's always a pleasure to listen to dr. Mate and learn something new.
The title of this podcast brought me in . But Where to go , how to get out, would be so welcome. More practical solutions, please.
Journaling, Diet, Meditation, Exposure to cold, Yoga, Breathwork, Inner Child work.
Anything that connects you with your body and soul.
I have begun participating in 12 step groups online. Recently joined a local online AA group and have made a few good friends and met them in person. This contact has probably saved my life! I am 63, single and haven't had a drink in 30 yrs but these people are so compassionate ❤
There's no specific. Connect more with people and have empathy and compassion and affection for them.
Instead of replacing human connection with social media, porn, video games, food, drinks, drugs etc.
Dr. Gabor’s perspective is so unique and eye-opening. Imagine, if we are all aware of treating the root cause of our individual’s problem from unresolved childhood trauma and commit to healing inside out - the world will be a healthy, and happy place to be. There’s only a few doctors who are talking about holding on to the wisdom of our ancestors, strengthening our immune systems, and healing by getting to the root cause of our individual suffering and then collectively as a world? Ahh.
Connect within genuinely - one person at a time. 🙏🏼
“Life changes, the fundamental life to be lived, be the agent of my own life and behaviors will follow”!
Thank You, Gabor!!
If behaviour doesnt take place 1st how is life changes gonna take place
Given the abject lack of justice, disregard for victims of abuse, and continually ignored dynamics within our communities, substance abuse is no doubt at the level it is with so many losing themselves in it
The people who perpetrate trauma, the narcissist and psychopaths, are becoming so common. What they do is kill all those around them slowly. Even once the are gone we are left with a debilitating wound in my soul, we become the living dead. We cannot let them win and must take back our power and remember that life is beautiful! Stand strong
Having a lifetime feeling into issues of abandonment : rejections : and to be recently confronted with restrictions has been a newer emotion causes shock I've noticed
Scarcity
At mark 44:35 on, I greatly appreciate Gabor’s authentic sharing of his own pain. I totally identified with this. Thank you both.
They'll still be talking about this guy in 200 years +. He'll be the hallmark for a new system of family
I can listen to Dr. Maté for hours and it's never gets boring.
His voice - soothing and oh so reassuring 🙏❤😏
He's been there, done that, and so much more❗
If I had only ONE person to listen to for daily living advice, it would be Gabor Mate MD PhD🙏
God leads us into the process of primary change when we are ready and strong enough to face the truth and dig up the roots. The prayer must be “show me truth.”
The best GP talks I've ever seen, brilliant minds, inspiring and revealing so much truth about whole health... Self empowering, learning from these men. Many thanks to both :)
Luv CDCx I I’m zz iyeTÿty Mykonos Kim I I t K koi oil milk y yikusees I
Dr Gabor Maté must be the wisest human being in the whole universe, his knowledge about human trauma's is simply brilliant !! Every parent should read his books or look at these videos, so so so much wise facts !
So much denial...for survival. Thank you Dr. Maté for your insights. In my 70's I'm still working on my recovery...always will.
Listening August 2021: your discussions have helped me recognize and be able to work on taming the life-long feeling in my chest and tummy that I haven’t been able to shake until hearing DrGabor’s sharing of his own journey here and in The Wisdom of Trauma movie…. Deep gratitude for your work and getting your words ‘out there’.
We could have saved so many lives and so much time by keeping the wisdom of Āyurveda and similar traditional medical systems. Even pre-WWII doctors saw the whole patient, rather than component parts. We are not going somewhere new with so-called cutting edge modern approaches, we are returning to our inherent wisdom! Long may it last!
So true/..words of wisdom 🙏🏽
My thoughts exactly. The holistic approach to medicine is the onlyTrue way to health and happiness
Combine the best of both worlds and we can heal in every way.
Actually we lost those last few doctors in France. It is deeply saddening as we know that follow up and mental health is important for a proper diagnosis
I love Dr Mate , I love his wisdom and knowledge , I love his beautiful voice , I love the fact that he has a down to earth attitude , he has so much to teach all of us (for free)His calmness calms me while I listen to him for hours ! He is my favorite speaker. I love his approach from one topic to the next ,his smooth delivery and his incredible memory captivates me each time I listen to him ! I appreciate you so much. I love the smoothnesses, and I have the sense that he’s not preaching and not reading from a text book 📕 He lives up to what he has to teach. I have learned so much from you and I hope that you will go on providing and sharing your philosophy of life ! You are a very special person with lots of gifts from our higher power 🙏 We are all blessed to have you in our life.
Thank you my dear soul ! I love you ❤️✌️❤️🤗💙💛💚🧡💜
I’ve never had the privilege to meet this man, however I consider it a blessed privilege that I came into contact with him through RUclips. I gained no hope from any of the psychologists I was seeing who kept passing me on to a different level, a different team, a different person, then just like that I listened to Gabor Maté and I was instantly lifted out of a quagmire of unbearable hell. Having been married to a Malignant Narcissist for over 20 years there was little left of my soul, & my will to live was rock bottom then in an afternoon I had a solid conviction that I was a valuable human being, worth fighting for and returning to the self I was before I met my now almost ex-husband. Gabor’s 5 books are top of my shopping list for when I have funds to get them. I think I’ll underline every valiant point & thus the whole of each book! Thank You Gabor for showing understanding, compassion and mercy to even me, a total stranger to you! 🙏 🙏 🙏
Around minute 19, when you talk about addicts choosing to go on using despite the horrible outcomes they know and see - that always makes me think of what my geography teacher said: In order for emigration to happen, people do not only have to dis"like" it where they are (push factor), they also have to know about that better place that they can reach (pull factor).
I would love to talk one on one with this guy just incase he understands my truth that helps his truth and that could help many more and that's got to be worth it .
Gabore’s talks helps me to become more aware about healing. Helps me look into my own behaviors. I like his distinction about life style change and life changes. Wow! That is what I am in search of to change my life. Thank you Gabore
Gabor Mate is a beacon of light when it comes to working with individuals with addictions.
I’m obsessed with this guy, he has such an important and special perspective and outlook on healing, self-reflection, etc.
I was abandoned at ten months by my birth mother and adopted at fourteen months by a cold mother and abusive, alcoholic and narcissistic father. Then married, had a child with and divorced a very similar man who managed to take my daughter away from me. I have recently started trauma therapy in hopes of establishing connection to something, someone. Anyone. My natural connections were broken. I have an autoimmune disease. I don’t form attachments to people. I am 9 years sober. Hoping to find the courage and the ability to try connecting with people. Good luck to us all.
Hope you happier. Take care
Great talk! Thanks for allowing Gabor Mate to really shine here. He is obviously a visionary and has great knowledge about trauma/addiction. I am so happy to have watched this.
Same!
He is a stud!! I love love love his frank delivery and severe honesty. The best two attributes to start a new day with.
So gracious and reasonable and wise. I am so scared for my children in this age and the scary lack of connection.
"I'm not denying great gains have resulted from the evolution of civilization but these gains have been made at the cost of enormous losses we have scarcely begun to estimate" - Jung 👊👽✌️❤️☕✨
I LOVE this quote, thank you! I am having trouble finding an attribution though. Can you help me out with a reference please? I would live to read more.
@@rebeccahunter9871
"The Future of Mankind, Illuminati 2012" by Michael Tsarion and "Toxic Culture" by Gabor Mate on RUclips go into attribution with a fine tooth comb.
👊👽✌️❤️✨
Thank God for Carl Jung!
I always picked up my children when they were crying despite family friends 'experts,'who told me not to do so
So did I !!! If they are crying there is something wrong.. they have been attached to you for your 10 months.
Then come out to the world
Me too.
Ok but you’ve all done other bad things that have caused trauma in your children.
@@ALT-vz3jn I don't think so my conscience is clean. You must be a very sad person inside
@@girardnarcisz1789 I always thought my parents were GREAT. But, realistically, they did or didn't do, many small things that in retrospect made me be attracted to emotionally unavailable men (dad worked hard, often night shift so he slept instead of interacting with me, he was an untouchable) he missed important moments ( plays, etc..)
NOT anything he could do anything about, but I grew up thinking it was DESIRABLE to be treated like that . And of course, I took it to the next level. This is just an example, but you see what I mean?
I’ve been saying a lot of this for at least two decades!!! And I’m not a Medical Dr or psychologist specialized in trauma and addiction. For me, so much of this is common sense. I swear I was born aware of so much. Not meaning to come across arrogant. I’m really not. For as long as I can remember i have always been aware of myself and the surroundings around me from an energy standpoint. So for me it’s a no duh that one thing we think, do or say is going to affect all parts of us because there is no way and of us can separate the parts of us. I am extremely spiritual that leaves religion out. I don’t live in boxes. So I’m open to receive information (which is energy within and without). It’s called being awake. To be awake is to be awake spiritually to see, feel, hear, know energy in ALL its forms. So for me to understand trauma and addictions is simple. When I was a Personal Trainer and people would become so confused with all the information on the internet, I would remind them to keep it simple. Simple exercise ma like using your own body weight pretending to be back in elementary school when you were taught how to do a back bend or cartwheel or lunges, jumping jacks, lunges. Keep it simple when it comes to any type of change that transforms us human bodies. I could go on and on and on. I could talk days about sooo many things. Trauma and addiction being two.
I loved this. Brilliant doctors. And so true! You must be your own advocate and open the channels for healing.
This is so interesting! I find once I kick one addiction, I begin indulging in another; from substances, sex, work, exercise and food. I've done a lot of self-reflection to realize that this is related to the perception of myself, of poor self-worth. Essentially, I will find ways to validate that I won't ever get my shit together. My addictions act as a safety blanket for the disconnection I feel. There is no external changes that can substitute for the internal work, rewiring the program. Being the driver of The Journey is so empowering.
It's just so refreshing to hear this from a General Practitioner. I feel like we're in a shift of seeing health in a broader perspective and it will create radical changes!
Thank you ⚘❤⚘
This has shed so much light on what I have been thinking about my own health and life. Thank you, Gabor, and Rangan. This will help my journey be easier from here on in
I love this man. So brilliant and truly understands us broken ppl coming from childhood trauma. TY DR MATE’.
What a relief. I don't have to blame my mother or my father for my stunted upbringing. They too had their own traumatic upbringing. They did the best they could with their limited resources. Thank you Dr. Gabor Mate. I was feeling very guilty about blaming them.
Food is my addiction. Hoarding is my addiction.
This Dr. Is hands down absolutely amazing. I came across him accidentally some time ago & it was in a time I was lost. I did not come on here trying to find out why or how I was lost. At the very time I was actually on here & accidentally got lost on here & it was the best thing that could ever happened. It was truly a life changing moment for me. I thank this man here from then to continuously I watch him on a daily day to over all keep my head up high even on the days that are awesome as well some times I need that little extra whisper in my ear sort to speak, hence this man's awesome voice. Thank you, sincerely Lu. 🙋♥️🙌🤟🙏
"we cannot change, we cannot move away from what we are, until we thoroughly accept what we are. Then change seems to come about almost unnoticed."
Carl Rogers.
Once you accept you need help, 50% of the work is done.
Everything I hear is person centred. It's a shame I never hear Rogers's name and practice. Gabor Mate radiates person centred practice. Nice conversation, thank you.
My mother was a smoker at home, an alcohol drinker and depressed a lot and had psychotic rages. She has never had therapy or taken responsibility for her health. I fight for my health and use osteopathy and cranial sacral for my trauma when I was attacked recently. It helped me to calm my system and the therapist is so kind and gentle with me. I believe care and love can heal. A medical person today would not listen to me as I am sick. I called a different doctor and what a difference. I feel less frightened and understand. We need to understand and process.
Love him, no blame but to be response able. Very sublime. Let's be kind and do the right thing.
He is so interesting to listen too..when my daughter is all grown up I am going to travel and spread my wings ...that is my plan.
You can do something similar during the time your daughter is growing up. Sharing special times with your daughter will be incredible for you both. I remember my dad would take me for a ride on his motorcycle. I got to hug him for over an hour. Just that was wonderful, sharing the experience of the ride was awesome too. Dad’s are so important to daughters. I just realized you’re her mom… my dad wasn’t easy to know so I thought of him first. My mom was a mom every child would wish for. I was very fortunate. I know it’s important to make a plan because it’s easy as a mom to feel like you’re loosing yourself. What Mom’s do is incredibly important, it may not feel like it in the moment, but Mom’s shape their child’s heart. Mom’s don’t get a do over and it is the most precious time we share in life. I feel like I healed my heart in many ways raising my son. It goes so fast. I pray for you and your precious family. God bless 💜🙏🏻
And then you'll have amazing grandkids that will keep you right there with them which is exactly where you'll wanna be and no where else. So just fly with the life you have today ❤️
Gabor Mate is so wise it makes my teeth ache
Thank you - you are both doing such important work. I would like to add as someone who has put myself in private therapy for the past 10 years and have recently been diagnosed with CPTSD - the next (and urgent in light of covid) step is for this information plus the research done by Bessell Van Der Kolk and Bruce Perry needs to update the British model for mental health problems and the new evidence based therapies be made available to people on the NHS. More work within the education system (and early childhood system) needs to be done on parenting to minimise trauma in future. The limited help that is available is currently only available to people who have plenty of money - this is a personal barrier for me as I have done lots of psycho-education but can’t afford the somatic, and IFS treatment and the NHS has refused to provide EMDR. I am trying to do the best for my personal heatlh and wellbeing but the british system isn’t supporting me. There aren’t even any NICE Guidelines for CPTSD -so the UK is lagging behind the evidence and has a lot of work to do. Rangan - are you able to use your position to lobby / campaign for this to be done please?
Thanks to both of you for moving us forward🙏
What a beautiful slice of life this is. Thank you. 💕💕💕🙏🙏🙏
Fantastic conversation, Gabor Mate is an incredibly insightful and conscious human being, we are fortunate to be alive at the same time as this guy 🙏🏻
This conversation between you two is so interesting, it makes so much sense x
I definitely said to my mother I was not happy…she hates it and puts the phone down. I know now I felt so sad because I realised this….none of my family show emotions or feel. Never. Most strange ….
That's painful. I'm in the same situation. Parents both still deflect and scoff... they're 80 yrs old ain't going to resolve.
She doesn't show emotion, but definetely she has feelings(otherwise you telling her you where unhappy touched her heart as she put down the phone) IT HURT (so she definetely has feelings) you could ask her what she felt when she heard yr words on the phone) Try to make connection(most parents care for their children, but they where taught to not SHOW emotion)Good luck
When a person puts the phone down like that, they are cold heartless empty vessels.
It is emotional abuse. There is no excuse for it, especially if they are parents.
Do not waste your time reaching out to emotionally vacant people, whoever they are.
Doctors are also emotionally vacant and only give their patients 5 minutes. This insight given here, is so accurate, but does not exist in any doctor in real life. It is like torture listening to it because it does not exist, and that is the torture.
There is no compassion. A person cannot heal when living in this awful world. The UK has become intolerable. I stay away from all professionals and authorities - the most dangerous corrupt organisations, who will lock you up for addictions and look down at you. So although this vid is insightful and on point, what is the point of it if it doesn’t really exist in our system?
@@crisy9052 Excellent point, unfortunately.
Absolutely one of the best uploads to youtube. Thank you both very much. Everything you covered was just bang on! x
Thank you i love listening to Gabor Mate 🙏🙏.. God bless 1🌸🌼
Thanks for shedding light on living with pstd. Education makes healing possible. Being willing to face whatever comes up is a great place to start.
Love: 💗'you are not your personality'.
'I am not what has happened to me'
'I am not my reaction to your abuse'
Thank you so much for your work, both of you!!! I love learning why I new ways to view my patterns n addictive personality. Really great that there r such caring doctors out there, like y'all.... lots of us would be lost without your wisdom!
Thank you Dr Mate your description of your self in your 50 yrs I'm now in that Gap, I'm getting so much understanding from your shared knowledge. With self compassion and further inquiry I hope in healing and awakening . Thank you from my heart
I love listening to both Gabor and Rangen. This interview made me so aware of how Rangen asks the exact, precisely needed questions. And they both go straight for the best essential truths.
THank you for reframing the darkness as light...I felt that as well! I was like this is not dark this is the power that comes through the dark!