Hating Older Women is Trendy... But Why?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- Get more content like this in your inbox 💌 : manifestelle.s...
Buy merch to support this channel: shopisla.co
Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle
In this episode, Elle dives deep into the topic of aging and why Gen Z's fear of it is valid, especially considering the societal pressures women face. She explores the current sentiments towards aging, how these views have developed, and the immense pressure on women to preserve their youth. Elle discusses anti-aging products and practices, the role of social media in spreading ageism, and the misconceptions about aging, such as the loss of beauty and the association with decline. Elle emphasizes that aging is a natural and privileged part of life, advocating for a shift in narrative to celebrate the wisdom and experiences that come with it. The episode aims to provide a hopeful perspective, encouraging listeners to embrace and look forward to aging.
![men* date OUT of their league then ruin women's lives [the paradoxical cycle]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lFS1UmdWTQU/mqdefault.jpg)
“You’re not at your peak…you’re at your most exploitable” IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS! THANK YOU! I legit looked ugly AF age 18-23, my skin was AWFUL and I had serious acne and hair problems! I’ve looked my best when I finally got to my 30’s! My skin evened out, my hair takes a LOT LESS WORK to deal with etc. but creepy men (usually WAY OLDER THAN ME) were “oh so interested” in me in my late teens and twenties. Now that I actually look prettier? Those men just FRIGGAN vanished 😅
Older women aren't impressed by the bare minimum, and older women hold men accountable. A lot of them just like impressing a young woman (who would not care about his meager accomplishments and would not be as easily convinced as an older woman - that's why creeps want a naive, inexperienced younger woman)
Most creepy men were attracted to me until about 24. But it legit peaked when i was 13-14. I just wanted to hide myself. Every stare was a violation.
@@briskettacosI recently went through something relatable to this. I was played by a man my age. We’re both about to be 40 in the next couple of months. Turns out he was talking or dating a young girl. He flew to meet her when she turned 18, in Mexico back in 2020. At the time, he was stationed in Colorado and was 35 - he is in the Army Guard Reserve. This year, he flew her here to Texas, where he is now stationed in Austin and married her. When he was pursuing me, he would brag about his homes he owns in Puerto Rico, Colorado, and here in Texas, and all his travels but he was often cheap, condescending, rude, and kind of ignorant. He would make fun of my Spanish but I now see because he was self conscious about his English. I feel like he will take advantage of this girl in her youth but to her, he was sent by god and he is a blessing. To her 🤷🏻♀️.
What is predatory is a 35 plus man going to Mexico to see a teen, because there won’t be much criticism there, but in the United States, that looks bad. And seeing other women while working on bringing her over to the United States. He was always partying in areas where young college girls were at like 6th street in Austin or The Square in San Marcos.
I slipped up and ignored my intuition. I was rusty and had not been dating for a while, but intuition is real. Give her a name and listen to her always!
@juliehernandez80 she'll figure it out, unfortunately. Hopefully she gets out before he gets her pregnant.
Being pretty dressing nice and being confident is a sure way to never get approached lol jk
As women continue to decenter men, fear of aging (loss of beauty/youth) will lose its power.
Absolutely 💯
Ooooo preach
AMEN TO THIS ❤
I somehow want to install it in men tho. Let them toss and turn for our attention 🥲
Exactly this.
Our brains aren’t fully developed until age 25 but at 25 and over we’ve ‘hit the wall’.. I mean that in itself just tells you everything.
It's surprising that when you fully developed your undesired it's like ‘ So you like can think now yea... you expired ’
25 is a last age of puberty. So 25 is a still adolescence
Thats not entirely true. Some people like if you have adhd don’t have fully developed frontal lobes until mid 30s even 40s. some people have them late teens early 20s
Body also stops producing collagen at 25
“You’re too told to manipulated, be gone”.
Is the picture that is painted.
"it's not that you're at your prime, you're at your peak; it's that you're the most exploitable" was life changing
Myep
yep
Yes !
Literally something change inside of me when those words were spoken. omg.
That makes sense. What society considers being in someone's "prime" means that's when they can get most things they want from them and probably in the easierst way too, cause theyre young and naive. And they want you to feel like you're worthless when you aren't an easy victim of exploitation. It's pretty sick.
A few years ago a friend of mine was 22 at the time and a 32 years old man approached her but she's always been attracted to men of her age so she rejected him and he started manipulating her saying "you'll see when you're 28 and no longer valuable, you'll regret it" she dodged a bullet 😂
She dodged a predator
10 yo age gap is crazy
Yeah but when I was 21 I went on a date with a guy who I’d known for years and he told me that I was better when I was 16. For him, 21 was the wall.
@@audreyandrea460 omg what a creep, I've often heard guys say that 23 or 25 was the wall. They're the ones who age really badly most of the time
He was projecting haaaaaard, he's obviously not desired nor valuable as much as he thinks he is to a young woman so he's gonna make it everyone's problem. So sad.
Don’t be afraid. I’m 54 and never been happier. There’s an amazing clarity that happens.
Same, I'm 54. In some ways I feel younger than i did 15 years ago. Well, that's not true obviously, but I think about ageing less.
That's so awesome to hear! I look forward to things getting better and better as I age- I'm currently in my 40's and I've literally never been happier and more peaceful than now. 💖💖💖
FACTS !
Did you go through menopause? I’m asking because my mom did and it was bad before and during but now it looks like she’s got the same clarity. It’s interesting
@@cotus2 yeh, I guess i'm through it, in it, not even sure. That's not always the hell it's portrayed to be. I'm on the lowest dose of hrt, i'm eating v healthily, exercising, still at work, haven't experienced ''brain fog'' ha, what!? Not to dismiss other women's experiences but menopause is held up as this sort of your life as a healthy woman is OVER cliff hanger. it wasn't like that for me, if its so awful why am i not even sure if i'm through it. I guess i am, but everything still works. but I'm not going to play the part anybody wrote for me. I'm not going to reflect back somebody else's view of themselves for their comfort *if* it erodes me. This is a very common sentiment among 50 something women. Jd vance thinks this time is for us to look after our grandchildren. But hey I'm eyeing up the camino and pottery classes and doing my house up and working, miiiiight go down to four days a week in a few years. My daughter has no kids for me to mind because she is doing a masters in a subject she loves (and working pt)
any man who tells you this, they’ll abandon you at 30-40 with an 18-20 year old later on in life. They never loved you in the first place, they just want to 100% use you.
Especially if said man is going through a mid life crisis. They dump you for a younger woman because they’re afraid of being considered old themselves. See all the men in their 40’s that freak out and start to lift weights and lose weight. They are afraid of being old and dump a good woman who’s been there for them through the bad times as well as the good and chase younger tail.
Exactly I always find it so pointless when they tell older women who aren't married that .
Because even women who did get married young are now going through a divorce because their husband has left them for their 18 year old mistress
Exactly, which us why their threats to not be interested in you have no power
I experienced this myself recently... An awful feeling I wouldn't wish on any fellow woman. Men* just want take and take and leave you emptier
Always grateful when a man says stuff like that, it's the trash taking itself out.
I never looked at an old lady and thought ugly it’s always cute, endearing, nice and wholesome. grandmas are always the nicest family members.
And have you ever seen an older woman's face light up when you compliment her outfit or hair or bag etc? It gives so much dopamine!
So true 🥺 Grandmas are the cutest and sweetest
You have clearly never met my grandmother. That said, you are usually right.
Same, beauty morphs into something else, when sexual attraction isn’t its main concern, beauty can certainly blossom
Why are you guys assuming that all old women are grandmas? You guys are being a**holes. Think about it.
Word of advice: If the man your with thinks you have an expiration date your relationship will not last.
Exactly. It is basically saying "I will switch you out at a later date, if I have the opportunity."
True. You can have all the youth snd beauty in the world and a guy like that still doesn’t actually value you as a partner and or see you as a person. Once you are no longer his prized possession you will be disposed of
My boyfriend. Now ex. He told me I’m too old and everything is now too late to do over. I was 33 and he was 32.
Being healthy is always youthful; we should prioritise our bodies by increasing mobility and strength
Doing yoga and Pilates daily since my 20s and now until my mid 30s has really done wonders to feeling youthful ❤
@@seebothways9630maybe males should treat others better
Amen! I don’t want to be in diapers!!!
Exactly, not contorting ourselves into health risks, but being the healthiest version of ourselves, exercising , getting sleep and eating fresh.
Agree
Young women bully older women too. I was the only old woman at my last workplace. I got told by a 20-something woman that I was senile because I am in my 60s. My boss was a younger woman who openly hated me and put me down in meetings in front of everyone and who picked at me relentlessly until I quit. I think it happened because they look at me and see their future - grey, saggy, wrinkly and they hate and fear it. My phase as a bitter older woman resenting younger women lasted for a minute, but I got over it. My focus since I turned 50 has been on getting free of the need for a job or the good opinion of those who had power over me, and to use that freedom to pursue my interests.
I completely agree. When I was a teacher (in my 40's) the meanest were the younger teachers (20's) because they considered me old (not experienced), outdated. Therefore, because I was "old" according to them I was a "bad" teacher. I was always the better evaluated teacher by students whilst they were the worst.... go figure.
@@lawcat65 when I went back to school in my early 30s, an 18 year old told me “oh they’re probably more helpful with you going back to school because you’re an old lady”. We were both trying to get into nursing school. The nastiness transcends all age groups.
@@juliehernandez80I've gone through something similar, I'm also in college in my 30s and it's mostly younger people in my same major. They've tried to discredit me all the time, I can't wait to graduate. 😆
All these young women are going to have a rude awakening once they're in your shoes. It's inevitable. Oh well. They chose that. As a 20 year old I want older woman friends soooo bad 😭😭 I was besties with my older teachers in uni. I legit loved them so much.
Absolutely. And the strange thing for me is that I do not seek their company because frankly ww have little in common. We don't have the same stresses, we don't find pleasure in the same things etc so they will seek you out just to compete with and then dehumanize me. And you can't say anything back because then you are seen as "bitter old hag" because you push back. I'm now seen as a cold witch by the ones I work with because my boundaries are way up with them and I'm okay with that.
I'm 40 and I don't fear ageing; I fear losing muscle mass, gaining fat, becoming dumber, developing a fear of trying new things, becoming stuck in a job I don't enjoy, and being surrounded by negative people. Nothing like that first taste of mortality to really fire up the internal furnace.
I get it
If you take care of yourself, none of this will happen, particularly the becoming dumber (you get smarter, hon).
💯
Same here. I started working out this year. And I try to eat more protein based food and watch what I eat besides working out. I hope you have started too. It’s never too late. ❤️
Love this
The average lifespan of people with my genetic disorder is 48 years. Aging is really a privilege.
Sending ❤️ to you!
This perspective 💋🤌 thank you sis sending vibes 😘
@@coolbreeze5683 Thank you!
@@spiritualBaddi ❤️
May you be above average.
“Men age like fine wine” the wine expired.
The gag is that men actually age really horribly.😩🥴
Even the finest wines eventually turn to vinegar
Men losing their hair at 17:
Vinegarrrrrrr
@@bismoth7251 and like wine or vinegar, they end up limp and hairless.
When were young were bullied like the “Meg Griffins” of the world. When were old were treated like “evil hags.” We really can’t win can we 😭
Winning is not caring about the opinions of insecure people
You can, by bullying them.
You’re starting to catch on
That’s why I just genuinely don’t gaf. I’ve had moments where I have been fooled into believing these limitations, but once I came out of them I was like “oh yeah I’m going to be hot regardless.” There’s just simply wayyyyyy to many people in the world to construct your life & way of thinking around the opinions of a few people. ESPECIALLY when they aren’t even people you respect, value or look up to.
We’re*
I had to read it twice to get what you meant
"you're not at your prime, you're at your most exploitable" explains DiCaprio's dating life PERFECTLY
He looks like Jack Nicholson now. Awful
Any person who LOUDLY and PROUDLY shout that they never go for women who "hit the wall" are absolutely red flags. If they target ppl who don't have a fully developed frontal lobe (area of brain responsible for memory, judgment, abstract thought, and creativity) and they are not in the same age group that should tell you all you need to know. Girl RUN!🏃♀️
It's incel stuff
@@icantwiththisthe loudness maybe incel stuff, but it's so much more common than people think that men are interested in young girls. When I aged out of being followed and sweet talked at around 25, I realized how much attention I'd gotten from them since 11 (I was not even shapely. Just a nerdy kid). I still get attention, just not the kind I did before. I now see them out and about staring at groups of teens. Watch out for it and you'll be grossed out.
Their aim is to get you to lower your standards as they can't reach it, if they make you feel worthless due to your age, you'll then see yourself as not worthy of having those standards, they'll then have easy access to you.
I always found that fascinating. As if the person with set standards and a firm stance on them would go for lower and worse. Watching such moments was always amusing to me.
@@mxm7647 It's a bit of sour grapes "if I can't have you, you aren't that hot anyway". I've seen men online flabbergasted that single moms aren't some easy pickings desperate for male attention to sleep with just anyone after all that ruthless hate campaigning against them.
BINGO
Patriarchal standard of beauty is what's looking old. Tired. Antiquated. And full of projection. Internalize the fear or step into your power instead.
@Ronsquaremy Divine feminine is the power of creation and patriarchy always trying to contain it. Why follow a standard when you can create it.
stop with this nonsense. WOMEN do this to themselves. Its matriarchal standards. how many shitfluencers do you follow that talk about beauty? why do YOU FOLLOW THEM? yeah you do this to yourself but hold no accountability- typical of the "modern" woman. 🤦🏼♀
“Old age is women’s hell.” ~ Ninon de L’Enclos
As a real senior citizen - age 66 - it’s not losing your looks that make it hellish. It’s your health. Because no matter how much you take care of yourself you cannot fight your ancestry, your environment, your financial burdens, your familial burdens. “Aging” is BAD for us because we know we take care of everyone and no one takes care of us so when we can no longer take care of everyone or even take care of ourselves then we know our real troubles begin.
My advice is to smile, laugh, cry, get angry, scream, dance, eat the pie, drink the champagne, stay out late, sleep in. Because when you can no longer walk more than 100 ft. then you will wish you had enjoyed life and had fun when you could do that. And never settle for ANY relationship that hurts you, stresses you constantly, frightens you, makes you do too much labor, does not treat you as an equal.
Good luck, Ladies. ❤
you are iconic thank you for this advice -17 year old girl
I take care of a disabled mother, but I always take care of myself first. I have my own health problems as well. Always take care of yourself first or you cannot take care of anybody else with any chance of long term success. I am only 48 and I suppose that helps, but I cannot stress enough take care of yourself so you can survive taking care of others.
So you’re advocating for destroying your health quicker…🤡
And SAVE your money. You don't want to be old and broke. Learn how to make your money grow. Money is security. Vow to always have at least 1000 times your age in ready cash and at least 5 times more than that in investments like the stock market. Purses sneakers jewelry are worthless in old age.
You talk about the consequences of having bad health but yet you advise others to make unhealthy choices!
''hit the wall'' wow. I'm 54 and I'm healthy and all my friends my own age (roughly) seem happier and more settled. I went for a 5k run this morning, and I do pilates and I eat healthily but I don't do frownies or botox
As a 32-year old woman who had several and serious health issues, this inspired me so much. I somehow felt like i will never get fit again anymore, but that's just silly, right? Never too late, older people can be it as hell.
Silver vixen is great the same way silver fox is. Being settled and calmer is the best energy to have in life.
@@coolbreeze5683 It sounds much cooler!
Silver vixen vs silver fox. No debate there!
It keeps getting better every year, sisters. I thought my 20s were my peak, and my 30s were so much better. Now, I'm cruising through my 40s, and I LOVE it. I'm genuinely looking forward to my 50s and 60s. I don't know if I'll live much longer than that with my disease, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
@@j.munday7913 ❤️ I hope you get to live long, but most important, well.
reminder that men are also terrified of aging. A lot of men i know dont even want to celebrate their birthdays because it's a reminder they've gotten old. We all know the "boomer in a letterman jacket" type that won't stop reminiscing about when he was around 20-25. They just don't worry as much about the condition of their skin (but they can be made to😂) but they worry about balding, gray hairs, weight gain, loss of flexibility. Never be afraid to point out that a man has gotten old, if he's not acting correctly.
My family lives long so I don't mind getting old. They age nicely too.
That’s why they hold on to two strands of hairs 😂
@@RochellB46oh nooooo😂😂😂those 2 strands, sticking out like wires.
We are terrified of aging, we aren't worried about losing our pretty privilege though cause we never had it
Are we afraid of aging, or are we afraid of what the world will do to us because we've dared to age?
VERY good question... I DO know the answer...
I feel like I’m not afraid because I don’t give a shit, and guys I rejected in my early twenties always told me I was “getting old,” to scare me. Now I’m in my thirties with nice skin, a beautiful daughter, a kind mostly non toxic (we all have bad days) husband, a house, and a retirement account. Those boys didn’t have anything for me but some mid-sex and despair.
news flash even if we get a strong handle on ageing they still do it.
@@lorimckay2704 EXACTLY... 🎯🎯🎯🎯 It pretty much seems like they feel challenged even more if a woman handles her age with self-confidence and grace... 😳🙄
I think it’s the latter, and it’s more than relationships.
Age discrimination on the job is real. During a reduction in workforce, workers over 45 are more likely to be laid off. If you’re laid off from a job and you’re over 45, it will take you TWICE as long to find a comparable job that it would if you were 35, and if the economy is bad, you may NEVER get a comparable job and stay at a lower-paying job.
Men have hit the wall so hard the building fell on them and now they are expecting women to pull them out of the rubble.
👏🏻
😆 I agree
Facts. I noticed some yrs back that men have a tendency to start growing out their facial hair around 30... because it hides the sagging jowls, marionette lines & onset of turkey neck.
Being childfree, sleeping at least 8 hours each night, eating healthy and never drinking or smoking will make you age like fine wine
Lol, this may be true each of my kids and the sleep deprivation that came with them immediately aged me a few more years... wouldn’t trade it though.
Yes Lawd. 😂😂😂
I have kids and I'm 30. 3 of them. The two oldest are twins. And everyone thinks I'm 19 until I tell them I have 3 kids. It's the only way men have believed me about my age.
@@Alixir1228how do you keep so youthful looking?
I’ve seen pregnancy and how it affects different women’s bodies, pregnancy ruins some women’s bodies forever, it’s insane to see. It takes a big toll on some women’s lives, and self-esteem
I think Carrie Fisher nailed the whole "Men age like fine wine" thing. In one of her comedy routines, she said "As men get older they don't get old they get distinguished. Distinguished means 'ugly with money'." That may not be the exact quote but I keep that sentiment close to my heart. It's my favorite way to keep her memory alive.
💯🤣
Fine wine is rare and expensive. 97% of the wines have a bitter aftertaste, like vinegar.
She was an OG for real. RIP ❤
I get hit both ways with ageism. Being treated like a kid for being mistaken for a kid and treated like an old lady for telling my actual age (39). Absolutely annoying. I'm glad for aging and experiences.
Thank you for bringing this up because I'm aging like Emily Kinney which is cool but who takes me seriously upon first impression
@@monkiesbanana321 Same here. It is what it is, I'm gorgeous and young-looking at 38 so I'm not complaining much especially since I stopped giving a damn what people think. People still tell me I look 19 or something.
Yeah, I get the "Sweetie" and "Kiddo" from ppl my own age and even younger. The baby face I once resented has paid off, but dammit; I'm nobody's Sweetie, Hun, and only my mother's Kiddo, tyvm.
Ahh that's how I feel too. People judge you either way.
Oh for sure. People think they can talk down to me because I look (according to them) like I’m in my early-mid 30s. I think I look 45, which is what I’m about to be. 🤷🏽♀️
Then I come here, and on some random comment a year or so ago, someone asked how it felt to be ancient. I said it felt good. That I’d lost a lot of people on the way, and I prayed they lived long enough to see what a blessing it is to be able to age. Not sure if they ever responded, but we definitely get it on both ends.
As a woman in her 50s, I LOVE following younger women creators. You have a fresh and innovative way of expressing things. This fear of aging that is instilled by a patriarchal society is yet another design to keep women from talking to each other, but in this case keeping younger women isolated from the wisdom of the women that men have "already gone through" and "used up" (in their opinion), but because of that they do not want us to give you our experienced learning on this same patriarchal society that might prevent a younger woman from being exploitable. But it also keeps older women from learning new perspectives and new language for what they've gone through by keeping them from connecting with younger women. It is important to develop female friendships, but it is critical that women develop relationships with women in every stage of life as each stage of life has its own power and all together we are a force to be reckoned with.
.... in fantasy land. In reality, patriarchy wouldn't exist without female support.
And young women shouldn't be discouraged from living life to the fullest (with men if that's a preference) by older women.
This. Men always be commenting how older women give younger women terrible advice. Men probably give terrible advices too.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Spot on girl! ❤✨
I agree! Great comment. It’s not about keeping young women from living to the fullest or loving men (? 🤨) it’s about sharing inter generational wisdom and culture and friendship - and advice that can help younger women to pick better healthier life partners etc 🤗
Just go off social media and all of this is gone.
Not one person I met in real life talks or worries about these things. My boyfriend often gets confused on why I even have a 'skincare routine'. Of course I do it for acne, but as a man he doesn't worry about these things and doesn't care about my 'flaws' at all. It's all so superficial. Another thing is that i'm from Europe where people r just more chill compared to some other places (of course some countries more than others). But yeah, deactivating Instagram, TikTok = boom, problem majorly solved.
agree so much. deleting social media has had such an amazing impact on my life. ❤
Forreal, im barely on social media, except following artist on Instagram. I'm happy i never got into Tiktok
Being off social media is so helpful. It has alleviated so much anxiety for me. I only use RUclips, I curate who I subscribe to very carefully.
@@DiMagnolia exactly, I unsubscribed from so many people and try to subscribe mostly to those who will make me learn something new or who will make me feel better about myself
Not true. I hear it at the workplace almost daily at lunch. They see me as a faulty breeding machine because I refuse to do it or be in a relationship.
fyi girlies: 70s lesbian feminism was ALL about the lesson today. They embraced The Crone as a source of power. Aging is an accomplishment and a force to counter the patriarchy. The Crone is a stage of fearlessness. Now, get that bag, besties!
When I was in my early 20s, panicking my youth and "prime" is soon to be over (I know, how dramatic and not fully developed brain of me), I've found an old lady as the life model I should aspire to. She was creative, calm and was living the life honestly, painting in some cottage, taking pictures of wild creatures. I thought "Well her life doesn't seem to be over as propaganda would tell me, and I have my whole life to reach that" and it's as if a crushing rock has been lifted. I stopped caring and found power in aging after I've decided that being a chill creative grandma is goals. And you can still be a beautiful fashion icon as movie "Advanced Style" (2014) shows about 62-95 y.o. New Yorkers. Getting to be old is a privilege, honestly, not everyone gets to be part of that club.
@@InternetNonsense Omg thank you for commenting this literally. Your comment just did it for me. I legit don't feel that crushing fear as strongly anymore as a 20 yo woman
Groomer.
In college and during my late 20s I've had the privilege of meeting some really gorgeous, amazing, confident in a way I've never seen before women that were 60+. One of my current trainers is in her late 70s, she's gorgeous and amazingly brilliant as a person and at her work. They made me think damn Im excited to get there.
I’m a lesbian and I love the 70s movement for this reason and find it inspiring
Im 34 and look forward to againg. I wouldn't trade places with the younger generation. Self care and stress free is the tool to maintain anti againg.
I just turned 35 or as I call it 30fine hehe and I feel the same 🧚♀️ we have the rest/best of our lives
12 year olds in Sephora seem more worried about anti-aging products than me, poor souls. At that age I played outside all day with friends, carelessly enjoying life instead. You can't beat the inevitable, gotta embrace and live with it. And besides keeping up your health, what's the big deal anyway? No one looks like the smooth insta filter in real life anyway.
@@spiritualBaddiyou women inspire me endlessly as a 20 year old and omg kate you are GLOWING
Maintain yourself for yourself. Don’t expect attention from men.
You are the younger generation.
Aging is a privilege many women never experience.
So true!
With time, I have come to love my natural skin so much. Minimal makeup, embracing my hair texture, consuming nutritious food & exercising - it all sounds so peaceful and blissful
My mom died at 69, and she hated aging. I wish I could have seen her in her 70s, 80s, and 90s. She would still be bringing so much love and value into my life, no matter her age.
I'm 42 and I'm around quite a few older women. I can tell you they might maybe come across as if they are jealous of younger women but they are NOT. They actually feel sorry for young women still being kind of naive, and not having their DGAF attitude developed yet. Younger women still believe that their beauty and youth is their biggest asset, so watching them clinging onto that and doing these mad skincare routines and living out their anxieties around losing beauty and youth is emotionally painful and hard to watch for older women. Because they have been there and learned that they didn't know ANYTHING about life at the time. Let me tell you one thing, there will come the time of reckoning, and it's not about whether you invested enough in your sunscreen and you still look good at 50. The time of reckoning is when you realise that you were anxious about your looks for way too long. The reckoning is when you have to grieve for all the hours and years and energy that you have wasted worrying about appearances and massaging gooey stuff into your face and feeling insecure about a pimple on your chin. It might look like jealousy to the young girls, but it's not. Older women look at younger women and don't feel jealous; they feel sad because another generation of women is going though the same pointless, self inflicted suffering. Older women see through the BS and know they can just stop pleasing the male gaze and life becomes so much better.
Yup. It's a look of pity not jealousy. You know you cannot share any wisdom with them at all and that's sad by itself.
I’m 37 and JUST realizing this
@@Trailblazers323That part, about not being able to share wisdom! So true. Really, really sad for the younger women and girls today. Especially with the low quality men they have to deal with. 🤮I still try to help my sisters tho, but mostly just in comment sections 😂.
62 here. Lic Aesthetician, NY and CINCY.
I never thought older females were jealous of me when I was young but ones around my age, sure.
I haven’t felt jealous for any reason in decades! And having worked intimately with older female clients over the years, they just want to look the best for their age. They don’t want to be 20 again nor do they envy the young females. I will say most believe they look younger than they do however. I would appease them ( you HAVE to) but the truth is it’s VERY rare for anyone to look younger than their chronological age. ( older, yes.)
And as much as I know about skincare and product ingredients I agree with you: Sunscreen. Most aging is extrinsic and comes from too much sun exposure. Most everything else is a waste of money. But skincare and products will always be a big business, hence the phrase: “ Hope in a jar.”
I no longer work with female clients. Although I make far more with them than with male clients , they annoy me too much with their “ questions”, lol!
Fresh off the press I'm in the front row ready and attentive
🍿 👀
me too!
I kind of disagree that older women aren't exploited. People do try to extract free labour of off older women, particularly childcare.
Men look to older single women now for financial support, in addition to everything else they're looking to extract from us too.
Yup. I'm in my 40's and everyone does this. Men want you to be their mommy. Everyone wants you to look after their children. Younger women expect a one way relationship where I give and and they just take as if I owe them that solely because I'm older than them. This is why I'm fully in my Crone era and unapologetically so.
@@barefootedbougieExactly... Sadly there's a speciak group of people that is at least as entitled as the male world - namely young (beautiful) and hence *privileged* WOMEN... 😮😢😢
@@rebekkagasmi9451 huh? Beautiful, young, privileged women aren't necessarily entitled. I think you just hate them cause you see them as a threat or something. I remember being in my 20s and other women hating me for just existing, it's scary and weird
@@alexandrastarotreadings3732 🤣🤣🤣 I NEVER EVER had any reason whatsoever to feel threatened by other women's looks - it's exactly the other way around...
But patriarchy wants us women to believe that a woman's value is determined by their age, i.e. the younger the more valuable... Sadly way too many women have internalized that and jumped on the bandwagon instead of finally opening their eyes and solidarizing with ALL their sisters... 🙁
But, as you know, hope is the last to die, isn't it...?
As a happily divorced child-free queen, I am so ready for my crone era. Like I fully want to be that old witchy hag that lives in the woods doing spinster activities. Teaching the young ones, creating art, dancing, cooking, working in my garden, caring for animals, connecting with other crones. I’m already doing a lot of that at 27 years old. I love the role I play in my community as a single auntie.
I LOVE your energy omg this channel has the best people in the comment section
@@valentina-blossom aww thank you ❤️ yes I loooove this channel for the content but also the community.
I'm there with you. Never married, freelance writer and enjoying all the things you've listed. My family refuses to believe this is my dream life.
@@DiMagnolia omg also 27, childfree and do most of these things. lets gooooo crone coven!!
@@barefootedbougie most of my family can’t believe it either! I don’t see what’s so confusing about having all the freedom I want?
I’m 42 years old and I wish I could shout from the rooftops that shit only gets BETTER! I think I look the best I ever have because I’m confident and focused on strength training. I feel the sexiest I ever have, I make the most money I ever have, and most importantly, I don’t allow ANYTHING to disrupt my peace. Now THAT is a true anti-aging secret! 😂
💯❤️💯
I’m 43 and I feel great, yearscof eating healthy and finding a balance between rest and activity really lays off. Im not trying to look like I’m 20 years old forever but a lot of people guess me too be a few years younger. The goal is to age gracefully. We are all going to get older but there is a lot we can do to age well.
I'm 28 I smile to young and old and babies equally . People are people.
Older women being beautiful is sooo true! I've seen so many women who are older, and they look stunning! And I'm not just talking about celebrities, I'm talking about women I see in real life, just going about things.
Yes! I am 43 and I see women 50 and older that are fit and look fabulous. I am a hairstylist and I think it’s cool that a lot of women are also embracing their grey/silver hair.
I don't tell people in the work force what age I am. I am much older than I look. Ageism is real and only used against women. Men my age are being promoted without experience, but companies would rather die than have women over a certain age working there. I have also been bullied by younger women at work calling me 'dinosaur' or 'granny', when they find out my age. It's like they feel I've tricked them somehow because age isn't showing up on me like it does on them. This is the year I'm visibly aging (because we age in batches not yearly) and I know it will dismiss me from certain roles.
Wait... I didn't know what was a thing. If you don't mind me asking, what jobs do you do? Is this a trend for all jobs? I'm working in software, I wouldn't want to lose my job over my age :((( I'm so sorry that you have to feel those things. You're not a dinosaur or a granny, you're absolutely amazing 💖🫂
@@valentina-blossom I started out as a front-end dev then moved to digital design. Now I'm in senior management but there are few women directors or VPs in tech. The last company I worked for fired most of the female directors and they were all around mid 40s to mid 50s.
@@luvlaneyluv That's so so strange. It's just because of their age?
Same here... I'm 53 but clearly don't look my age (never did, not even in childhood) and once people know my REAL age they (very often) start treating me like dog 💩... Considerably younger co-workers (m/f) used to constantly bully and belittle me and don't even get me started with superiors... 😮
Guys initially approching me become dismissive and distant when they hear my age (I've never lied about it, I don't see the point)...
I don't have ANY problems whatsoever with my AGE but awfully well with my ENVIRONMENT... 😮
It's so weird... 😳🙈
Can you elaborate on aging in ‘batches’?
The other day when I was ordering a drink to go from Burger King, an older woman with her child and husband came in. She was in her motherhood regalia, no make up and comfy clothing. First it felt off, but then I thought it only feels off because we don't see it generally in society. I had a small nice chat with her, her young child was super funny and I wished her a good day. She eminated such a refreshing young energy though looking completely tired, yet super natural. She sparkled! It was a vibe. I wish to be that someday, if I have children.
Adorbs 💕 that mama glow is fr
The bullying can go the other way. As a 54 year old, I've had mean girls 'ice' me at work. Been around long enough now to know that the women who behave like this to older women (othering them, excluding them, being repulsed by them, acting like they're boring /stupid) these are the women who have the most fear of ageing. I used to work with younger women and some were absolutely lovely. It turned out that the ones who were very inclusive and natural around the older women had older sisters, so they understood that growing old wasn't catching!
Most young people don't want to talk to aging men either, we just don't moan about it
It is wild to me...the same time a 35 year old man was courting 19 year old me, my boss in her 30's was bullying me to tears everyday and called me a wh*re at one point. I'm in my 30's now and when I look at and interact with 19 year olds, I see babies. I feel a deep maternal need to protect them and guide them. I will never understand how that man or that woman could have ever felt anything other than that toward me; and honestly, thank goodness for that.
I had a similar experience. I’m sorry that happened to you. But yes! I feel the same way. We want to help those who are younger not tear them down. Breaking the cycle is important.
same
I feel you. I was mistreated by middle aged women when I was younger. Now being middle aged; I don’t see a very young woman as competition, I see them as someone to protect and mentor.
I'm turning 35 in December and I never want to go back to my 20s. I'm at my healthiest right now! I'm actually going to the gym once a week!!
Sometimes I get a little pouty about my forehead lines, but I remind myself that I only see those when I raise my eyebrows because people are being stupid. As for men who say women hit the wall at 30, etc. I just presume they're pedos so I don't care about their opinion. All that being said, hearing all this and reading the comments is very validating. Appreciate you ❤
December birthday as well here, turning 34 and I love my 30s more than my 20s. I can see when someone try to take advantage of me and shut it down quickly.
You can get a forhead lift for 5 Gs women do it all the time! Don’t worry about the forhead lines. You good boo!!
Well said. Am a December born also. In my teens and 20’s I was very unhappy.. don’t listen to everything on social media trash.. onelove
Aging is a part of life, its like getting upset about the sun setting everyday. It's inevitable and quite silly to worry about and in a weird way, worrying about aging probably ages you faster.
My dad tells me of a time when he was 8 and thought someone in their teens was old. When I was 17, I thought 26 was old.
Truth is we will always look back and realize we were never old. Treasure today. Focus on health... good health. That's the secret of a good life. ❤
Oh my! Thanks for commenting about the "men age like fine wine" fallacy! Somebody really needed to say it!! 🙏
Hollywood helped to spread this cope. They'll cast a 60-year-old actor as a 60-year-old character, then cast a 34-year-old character as his wife. If you're not paying attention, you feel bad because you look so much older "than you should."
If you stop watching the propaganda for a while, and you start seeing how much in movies is just male wish fulfillment.
I literally feel like nowadays men have wrinkles on purpose or they're almost super evident when you see it in movies or shows and women all look barely legal 😂
I am currently reading the 'The Coming of Age' by Simone de Beauvoir. It's really interesting you posted this video at the same time. More than the fear of getting wrinkles and being seen as less desirable, the fear of aging comes from the way we are treating our elders. As soon as they are not productive anymore or up to the page, society discards them. The younger ones do not give them attention or care for them, even though, more often than not, these old people have much to teach us, and we should make a place for them in our community. Whether we like it or not, we are headed towards the same fate.
Adding to that, I have noticed that the use of the 'wall' terminology by the younger folks is interesting. Need I remind everyone that the 'wall' is nothing but an element in a revenge fantasy created by incels to threaten women? These men love to imagine that at some point, women who rejected them in their youth will lose their value and come back begging for attention. Spoiler alert: it doesn't happen. Not all (not even most) women become ugly at a magic number called 30. Aging is a personal experience, just like beauty. Every woman experiences it at her own pace. This is a reality men aren't willing to accept because they like to think that one day, the super pretty 21 year-old girl who rejected them will lower her standards.
Great comment .. I often think of lucky the elders in Japan are - treated with so much respect and dignity .. society really does play a huge role
My aunt, while drunk on vacation, stopped me and told me she knows I’ll take better care of her when old than her own daughter 😮 It’s true but like I didn’t sign up for that?!
I enter a brand new "prime" of my life every day. Ladies, we are literally more intelligent, more experienced, AND more beautiful every 👏 single 👏 day 👏. I have NEVER seen an ugly woman. NEVER. If you think you are ugly, I can tell you without ever seeing you, that you are wrong 💛. Also, I always thought it was interesting that old men in stories were powerful, kind, wise kings and wizards, while old women were ugly, spinster, evil hags and witches. HOW INTERESTING.
I tell my 20 year old daughter often to enjoy her time with my 80 year old mother and me 51 year old mom. Our insight on life FOR REAL is priceless.
Aging is not just looks.
It's energy, mood, and the state of mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health.
Keeping it all up is hard work.
I’ve grown tired of worried about ageing when I realised this extreme worry is exclusive to women. All these treatments and creams get aggressively promoted to women, never men. It’s allowed for men to age. When you stop giving a damn about what men think, ageing actually sounds like a blessing.
I've always loved my grandparents. They have/had such clear identities, strong wills and opinions, and always kind. Not afraid to share themselves with the world.
As an older woman, I love younger women, love sharing my wisdom, and love seeing how so many are opening their eyes and learning everything that we had to learn the hard way.
Elle, I'm 17 and have been watching your videos for the past five months. You’ve really transformed the way I think. I grew up in a private Catholic girls' school, where we were all about supporting each other, focusing on academics, and building strong friendships. But when I moved to a co-ed school for Year 11 and 12, I noticed I started feeling self-conscious about my appearance. Suddenly, getting attention from boys made me feel validated, and it took me a while to realize how messed up that is. I realized that instead of competing or feeling jealous, it's so much more important to be a girl’s girl, support each other, and push back against patriarchy in our own way.
I’ve been vocal about your content with my girlfriends, and they love it too. I always recommend your channel because you make so many valid points. Thank you so much for everything you do.
I really hope these type of videos are being watched by more and more girls your age. The information you will learn is invaluable. Melanie Hamlett is another amazing RUclipsr. She’s full of insight that is SPOT ON. Pulls no punches. Learning from other women’s mistakes will save the younger generation lives of heartaches and suffering.
Thank you for validating our fears and not making us feel gaslit or crazy for having these concerns that society has instilled to control us. I’m deeply grateful for your existence and the understanding you offer. I genuinely wish you all the best, and I’m just thankful for you simply being here. I hope we can also give back as much as you’re giving us.
I had a boss like 10 years ago who I thought was sharp and very intimidating. In retrospect, she was my favorite mentor. She excelled in a male dominated industry, she protected me from a scary client experience and she taught us how to speak and work intelligently side by side with the men in our field. She said you don't have to play baseball, but you do need to be able to chat about baseball for 15 minutes at the start of a meeting.
I used to care about being skinny but the older I’ve gotten I’m almost 30. I now focus on strength I weight lift 5 days a week and I know I’ll be better as I get older ❤
I don't feel old at all. Im 44 childfree, mn free and never been married. My health was always priority for me and I was wise enough in my young time not going with trends like tatoo, marriage, kids etc. people don't believe me being my age most of the time when the conversation circles around age or health. Im also vegan which in my belief absolutely changed my appearance for better. No struggles with weight gain, Im working out and cooking every day from fresh veggies. Life is so much better for me since I passed 40.
People aren't getting old if they look after themselves in my opinion. The secret is consistency and inner thirst for balance and harmony with ourselves.
As a 36 yo woman whose mother died at 50 and grandmother at 40, both very sudden not expected. I will feel so blessed to grow old ♥️
Wishing you health and longevity ❤
Thanks for this, I turn 38 tomorrow & I'm SO looking forward to my crone era in a couple decades. Knitting circles, reading clubs, gardening, morning walks, reading on the porch alone, and enjoying my solitude. I went through a bitter phase towards younger women for a sec in my early 30s, but I remembered how it made me feel at their age &I've decided to just exude supportive big sis energy, instead. It has really paid off in terms of social support. Women's friendship is just SO much more important to literally everything in life when you become less exploitable.
🎈 🌸 Happy Birthday 🎂 🎈
I'm in my 40's and childfree and have honestly already embraced my crone era. Happy birthday 🎈
I'm 27 soon and I feel like I'm only just starting to live my life. It feels like a beginning to me. And nobody can tell me that I'm past my prime or I'm too old like no. I feel like I'm in the best place I've been and it's only going to get better. My younger years were riddled with eating disorders and depression and I don't wanna go back to that for nothing. I rather have wrinkles than be miserable like that again thank you
❤
Literally one of the most annoying questions I would see on apps like Reddit and Quora is: Is life over at 30, I'm 29 and panicking about being 30, Does life get worse after your 30's, I'm thirty and not married or have the kids/life/dream I wanted is it over for me.
And I'm just like... 🤨🤨
Free my girlies from the shackles I swear
Yeah! I don’t know why people treats 30s like ancient !
At 38, people often mistake me for mid 20s at the oldest. Theirs freaked out reactions to my real age is always hilarious, and then they ask what my secret is, and I tell them. Just be born with hEDS. Deal with the lax joints, the easy bruising, pain all over, clumsiness, neurological issues, etc., in exchange for a more youthful appearance. That's all lol.
The most important thing to take care of is your health and your spine. You're only as young as your spine.
Also, not every woman foes through the so-called "mother stage. Nor does every woman want to. This has always been a problem I've had with the notion of maiden/mother/crone. It's a bit on the gender essentialist side and very heteronormative. It excludes women that don't fit into that particular mold.
The mother/maiden/crone concept isn't just about transitioning from maiden to mother in the literal sense, it can also be seen as your maiden phase being you growing up and learning about life and exploring what you want to do, and then after you've learned what you want to do in life, then in your "mother" phase you create what you want. (Aka career, passions, purpose, goals, aspirations, etc) It's referred to as the mother phase because regardless of whether it's a baby or career, you are still CREATING and giving "birth" to whatever you choose to create. I hope this helps luv ❤
@@sheawakenstruthI've always seen it this way since I've built a business/follow my passions all around and my identical twin is a mom of 2. We have both phased together, in our own ways 💕
Yes about the spine tehehe I'm an LMT. Strong glutes & abs y'all protect your spine 🧚♀️
Right there with you lol I have HEDS and at nearly 29 people regularly mistake me for 21-24. What's interesting is the different ways people treat me on the days I can get around without my forearm crutch vs the days I need it. When my disability is invisible people are all over me, however when they can tell I'm not OK. The reaction from men is either straight up derision or faux protectiveness due to appearing more vulnerable and exploitable. With women the reactions range from "at least you're still pretty" to asking about my skin routine which I take as a chance to reccomend really good sunscreens.
We are responsible for fighting against society’s desire to pit women against each other. I absolutely hate how condescending women my age (mid thirties) sound when they talk about young women. That “Gen Z” label is so polarizing (to me) and I avoid using it in conversations. I enjoy talking to younger women and when they ask for my counsel, I give them without any judgement.
I love talking to my boys, who are in their early 20's, as well as the young women that have been recently hired on where I work. It's the best ❤
I’m 34, and I can see the outlines of spots similar to my grandma’s. I loved how they lifted when she smiled at me, and I like to think my (possible) future grandchildren will fondly remember me that way too. Not someone terrified of being considered faulty or old. And she still got her hair and nails done every Friday! Grandma took care of herself, but also embraced herself now and in the future.
I'm 60 and I feel this is probably the best time of my life. My sons are adults, I have a career I enjoy and I'm even starting a business. I have independence and time to pursue hobbies and relationships with friends. Another benefit is you become invisible. No more unwanted attention from men. I think it helps that I'm single. I am the most happy, fulfilled and content for the first time.
I didnt know how much i needed to hear this? Like I'm used to seeing grown women who are flourishing in their 40s-60s in my family and career and yet I feel so awful that I haven't achieved anything at 25. But this talk has jolted me into remembering I'm just barely an adult! Maybe it will get better, I haven't hit my prime yet❤
I just hit my prime in my early 40's - it does take some time!
I’m 24, and for the last two years the fear of aging has absolutely overwhelmed me. I’m working hard to consciously shift my mindset and it’s so much more freeing. As long as we allow the narrative that our value decreases with age to flourish, men will retain power in society. They will be allowed to freely develop their finances, education, lives etc. freely and confidently and happily while women are stuck wallowing in our ‘lost youth’.
I'm 43, and I wouldn't go back to 24 if I had a choice. I'm much happier, and my mental health is better. I use sunscreen and retinol. Priorize sleep and lots of water. I feel very happy with what I see in the mirror, and I get treated exactly the same I always have. I promise it's not bad. I feel silly for being so scared.
As a 35 year old, let me tell you that it only gets better. Enjoy your youth, sure, but also know that you have so much to look forward to. You got this!
Absolutely adore this video. I was so crushed when all my peers around me are getting married 10 years after graduation. And I was suddenly struck with insecurity that I had "wasted" my life chasing my career to being manager and worked on my drawing skills on the side. I had a terrible dating year and I was convinced I was a failed woman. I decided to work on losing weight instead of moping around. But wow! I once thought that I had wasted my time but you have reminded me that I am gaining wisdom and being a guide for all the young women around me. I am thankful for your video essay. I became more confident in myself and decided to ditch my plan for a man and live my life the way I want it.
A friend and I were just talking about how we wasted our twenties trying so hard to appeal to men, twisting ourselves into pretzels trying to be what we thought men wanted us to be even if it felt so phony. We berated ourselves for not having boyfriends, for bad dates, not getting that ring by a certain age. We ignored so many things that could have enriched our lives because having a man was more important. I think of the things I did once I got over thirty-finally getting my college degree, focusing on my writer and becoming a respected book critic, developing various hobbies, joining a gym, etc.-and ask myself, "Why didn't you focus on these things when you were in your twenties instead of being focused on being with a man?" Well, better late than never.
I'm 42. Do I think about aging....sure, because life is finite. But I don't obsess over it as if my whole life is based on looking as young as possible. Hearing people younger than me stressing, worrying, and complaining about aging sounds so weird. I think it's a result of being chronically online and therefore easily influenced into feeling badly about yourself. I'm thankful social media wasn't as prevalent when I was in my 20's. My peers didn't worry about aging the way Gen Z does. We just...lived. Went out, traveled, worked, enjoyed life.
I am 41 and I agree. Me and my friends are more worried about our parents getting older than ourself.
My early 20's is my era of most vulnerable. My hair is thinning and skin are dry and flaky. Only in my late 20's, my skin started to feel alright, my hair getting healthier. Aging is actually wonderful.
I was bullied by a 40 year old at my last job she was only a decade older than me, because she said I only got the position on overnights because I was easy.
I got the job because because they needed seasonal help. My coworkers told me later that she thought she was being replaced. I don't think I could give that same energy to someone younger than me. No matter what
yay excited for this one, my fav thing about getting older is that i am finally given more authority on my thoughts and opinions
Not making the same mistakes again and being confident in your own judgment are priceless.
Enjoying this year being 29 and excited for next year to turn 30! I feel like I’ve grown into myself and my personality well, I’m still young and enjoying life and refusing to partake in excessive/invasive beauty treatments to “stay looking young” because watching my mother embrace her aging made me stop fearing it! Aging is a privilege and I’ll be extremely lucky to grow older and look as beautiful as my mother does.
When I watch anime, I notice that male characters who are tough are generally older (even having gray hair sometimes) but the women… they always have to be young (even when they’re old, they got something going on to make them look young 😑) it pisses me off every time!
Anime is the worst at this. The women look 11 years old all the time
The stats say that men, no matter how ancient they are, prefer 20 year olds. TWENTY. While women prefer men their own age. Men as a whole are not afraid to be cruel and make their preferences known, so of course women feel humiliated and scared about aging.
I don't doubt it but it always makes me wonder, what's the incentive for women? Especially to the kind of red piller guy who admits they primarily values beauty and sex appeal and will counter what you're saying with "it's just biology". But following their logic, doesn't that mean we're biologically incompatible long-term? It would mean 1) we aren't meant to bond seriously or long term. Or 2) the woman will have to put up with indignity, humiliation and heartache and is destined for it because its a biologically hardwired inevitability.
Even the most beautiful women will get old and there will be more young beautiful women in the future. If he's so inclined, wouldn't a man who thinks like that just switch her out with if he has enough clout, power and money. Men who say that about biology are more or less admitting he'll "upgrade" when she gets unattractive to him. But I guess, a lot of people think they'll be the exception to the rule.
Exactly. Being a young and beautiful woman doesn’t equal finding a guy who will always love you, treat you right, stay faithful ect. My friends and I were all very attractive women in our 20’s but the men were still cheating lying trash, my most beautiful friend was getting cheated on and strung along by men left and right at 20. The only thing that really matters is the character of the man and does he value women as human beings,? you can be the most beautiful 20 yr old on the planet and still end up having a crappy love life, look at all the gorgeous famous women who never found a good guy… Britney Spears was getting cheated on in her teens by jt she never found a decent guy,, jayz was cheating on Beyoncé with lots of women while she was in her 20’s. The list is endless beauty and youth don’t mean you’ll land a great monogamous guy
@@OliviaW-j4p Yeah, I would say we're biologically not designed to be monogamous. No matter how much logic or reason we've gained as species, we're still animals and our basic animal instincts are still very strong. And unfortunately our most basic instincts are to eat and breed. And this is just opinion, but I think wom en express much more control over their natural instincts than men do. It could be that they're more intelligent, it could be a hormonal thing, I'm not sure. I just know the stats say mn cheat almost twice as much as women
Ladies if you’re mid/late 20s and keep hearing “you’ll hit the wall” it’s absolute bullshit. I cried on my 30th birthday as I thought it was all over. I met the love of my life at 31 and the last 5 years since 30 have been the happiest of my whole life. I’m healthier, confident, calm and able to hold my boundaries. It only gets better. The “wall” is a concept pushed by men who cannot handle a calm, self assured woman. Any yes - we are harder to please than a 22 year old… but at 22 a man with a car and the money to take me to the movies was impressive …. soooo
Basically what men mean by the wall is fertility, after 35 it's harder for a woman to have children
Somewhere under a extensive beauty tutorial I saw a comment saying something like ,,...and men are running around with streaks in their underwear" and I can't stop thinking about it 😭
ha ha yes, I'm not taking the credit for this but i read a woman online (on a thread about OLD) he won't meet up with women his own age but he's at home making pot noodle for one, with yesterdays' pot noodle stains on his football jersey. It killed me!!!
The way I turned 40, started looking 40 (I always had a baby face ) and immediately started getting taken more seriously at work…. it’s been a great benefit so far ! Plus the older creepy guys leave me alone more
I have 5 generations of my bloodline on this planet.
👵🏽👵🏼👩🏻👩🏻👶🏻
Very blessed to say that my daughter has met her great-great grandmother. I see the agism showing up in my family around caring for the elders and I’m always the first to advocate for them. I worked in a nursing home from ages 17-21.
Thank you Elle 💖 always rewiring my brain when I’m here.
You are so lucky to have that
Ok deleted the earlier comment because I wasn’t looking at this from a good perspective or point of empathy. The fear of aging is valid. But I’ve lost quite a few friends who didn’t get the privilege of growing up and it hurts that so much emphasis is put on women to look young and pretty, when the goal SHOULD be shifted towards aging as a goal to gain as many experiences as possible. There’s so many things my friends never GOT TO DO! And society keeps pushing this narrative that the only thing that matters is looking as young as possible instead of spending our time working with our bodies to be able to try and fulfill what experiences we want to have in our life. You still need to take care of yourself of yourself to do that but while the fear of aging is valid but we really need to put in the work to not let it distract us from the real enemy that comes with aging: your BODY will break down! If my skin doesn’t look as good: I’m ok with that. I don’t want to be like my family members who look “so incredible for their age” but can’t hardly walk up a flight of steps!
I support your message 100%. People should be focusing more on health and less on a small wrinkle you can see in a magnifying mirror. Health, life experiences and making beautiful memories.
I’ll be 50 tomorrow, 8/23, I’ve never looked or felt better and stronger.
I started getting grey hairs I'm 28 and i love them it tells a story.
The story being that you have a copper deficiency.
@@mightytaiger3000 or stress
I have always been mesmerized at how my grandparents always had an answer for everything regarding how the world works : physics, bank, gardenning, nutrition, literature... Over the years they stayed together, and curated their life into the upmost comfortable and healthy lifestyle possible. Everytime I slept in their home for an extended period of time I would get all of my sleeping hours, a more-than-decent diet, and would go everyday on walks with them, resulting in the most beautiful skin, body and mind I could ever achieve on my own. They are truly a role model for me.
Aging with grace is also accepting that it's not your time anymore.
That it's time to let the younger people take the leading role.
Not wanting to age is also not wanting to let the young people take room. We can see that today with the fact that young people cannot buy a house, find good rewarding jobs.
The women not wanting to age gives Snow white step mom vibes.
As a mid 40 women, I am very happy to see beautifull young women in their 20's or 30's. I don't want to be them, I am actually glad to be older and experience other things in life.
16:15 I started calling them quarter life crises. I just turned 33 last week and the amount of people I went to high school thinking their lives are over is insane! And it’s nothing new I started seeing this when I was 25. And I know social media is to blame, it speed up the mid life crisis. I am happily single in my 30’s and the amount of people I know that assume I’m miserable and want to be young again is insane. Ignoring the fact that they just trauma dumped how their man gives them all this stress, they’re basically a single mom, and have all these regrets. Make better decisions now, to have a better future. You still have so much life left and if you’re act like it’s over now what are you going to do at 50?
I remember that, and I also remember that a lot of the people who felt that way were men!
I’m not afraid of aging, I just want to look good doing it. Gracefully. Recognizing that aging will happen no matter what, but not looking run down and thrashed while it happens.
My 25th birthday is coming up and I’ve been completely dreading no longer being in my early 20s. Yesterday my fiance asked me what I want for my birthday. I broke down crying and said “all I want is to not get older. every year after this point makes me less and less valuable as a woman.”
Thank you Elle, for reminding me that my value is not determined by my beauty or age. I’ll be replaying this video until the thought of getting older no longer makes me cry.
Omg, life is only going to get better from here, you're just getting started!
Stand up girl.
If I'm not mistaken the prefrontal lobe develops until age 25. Which means that technically, you're still growing. 25 is barely scraping the surface of the beauty of life experiences ahead of you. It's crazy how society has young women stressing over something which is inevitable - getting older. Why is this something to cry over? The alternative is dying young and never having the opportunity to do so many things with your life. There are things in life that merit getting upset about. Turning 25 is not one of them. Enjoy your time on this earth and go out and LIVE!
I literally had the same thing happen on my 25th bday. I'm 35 & literally couldn't be happier OR wait to celebrate my 45. It really does only get better 🪞
@@mistymourningsjust tryna hype you up like babyyyy you are flawless self concept😘 we've all been there- & hopefully our besties were doing the same thing like mine had to hehe 😂 to help unsubscribe from the fear & embrace to age w grace 🪽
i hope this video is a reminder for us to connect and support the older women who were a part of our lives
A 18yo jobless little boy once hissed at me and asked "What are you even doing in the comments (of instagram), you are a grown woman". I am 35. Like why are you even using social media granny...
Just turned 58. Husband and I are a music duo, just returned from Europe after performing in a rock show in a huge stadium in Portugal. Releasing new music on streaming (next single coming soon) and I'm about to get a book published. I say all of this to demonstrate a thriving meaningful life, and there's nothing to fear with a Spirit based purpose. My life is WAY more exciting and meaningful then my younger years. I had to face all of my beliefs and fears about aging, and I have shifted to taking simple care of the body. I encourage all younger women to stop obsessing and invest in an authentic SPIRITUAL path for true healing. Thank you for bringing forth this subject! ❤❤❤❤😊😊😊
I LOVE your videos! I’m well into my “Crone” phase - I just turned 60 - and allow me to state that you have hit that nail SQUARELY on the head! Once you hit 50, you cease to see every male as a potential provider and every woman as a potential rival. The wisdom you have acquired over your 50+ years bubbles to the surface, and so does all those years of anger you had to suppress because it wasn’t ladylike. I am delighted to provide aid and succor to all, and I am equally unwilling to allow anyone within my radius to be abused or belittled. My wit has been honed to the sharpness of an obsidian shard and it’s just as dark, providing me with a formidable weapon, and I wield it with surgical precision. I may look like a sweet little grandmother, but God help you if you act out in my presence. Rudyard Kipling said it best - “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”
Thank you for sharing your experience and your beautiful words! You reminded me of a phenomenon I've become increasingly aware of in my 20s. That is, the pressure to be seen as valueable to men is not only placed on women outwardly, but inwardly as well. We always hear the stereotype of the "cranky old lady", as if "crankiness" somehow directly correlates to ageing. We also hear how men often deride their wives for becoming less "fun" and "spontaneous" after marriage and even kids. In reality, we know that women still overwhelmingly bear the brunt of childcare and domestic labor, many of them working jobs outside the home! So it's no wonder some men tout that women "have hit a wall" in their early 20s, it uncoincidentally coincides with many of them being fresh out of college with adult responsibilites! Anything thing that signals experience and maturity whether it be wrinkles or having a career means we are less likely to fall prey to their manipulation. So... all of that's to say that It's always nice to hear from older women how this becomes easier with time, reminding us that being a "mean" older woman to men often means putting up with less BS.
@@LingeringShiver PREACH, SISTAH!
I grew up spending a lot of my summer breaks with my grandparents. They were both teachers and I remember one summer where I got to memorize the textbooks for a certain grade level because my grandma would ask me to read them out loud for her while she did her gardening in the mornings. I did not like that while it was happening, because I couldn’t see the value of it back then, until the school year started and I was topping my class because I was already quite familiar with the lessons. She would also reward me by giving me allowance and would encourage me to save them up for the time we’d head to the mall and she’d let me buy what I wanted with the amount I have saved up. Meanwhile, while grandpa was the typical quiet partner in their relationship and he’d be off working on some carpentry in his workshop or spend his afternoons chilling on the patio. They both taught me a lot of things, from the value of studying and saving ahead, as well as being comfortable spending time alone. One of my childhood dreams was to own a house like theirs once I get older, because that was my concept of a house I’d love to live in. Although looking back, it’s probably not the house I wanted itself but the warmth in the childhood memories I had with them. I want to be as kind and as chill as them if I do get the chance to live to their age.
This has been a timely reminder about the prevailing ageism that affects women, and to honor the good old people we have in our lives. Thanks Elle! ❤
I honestly started this video with a near existential crisis and ended it with a lot of hope. Thank you 💝
Pamela Anderson is radiant!
So refreshing! This is where I’m at and why I’ve been single for 2 years now. I’ve poured into several men while all they did was take, cheat, and stayed the same person they were since high school. The most recent being like the “Friends” episode where Monica went out with Chip from high school 😂 I have yet to see a man around here who is an actual grown up. And I’m over it. I’m getting too old to suffer. I’m pouring all that energy into myself and my home and enjoying the peace and quiet. How people can never want to grow up is beyond me. I’ve always thought the purpose in life was to grow and change. 🤷♀️ I don’t like how I look but I accept it and to be honest I’m not wanting to attract anyone anymore 😂
Oh also I see now that I am older why women mistreat younger women. It is often because they see people (men) bending over backwards to help a young woman, meanwhile you’re lucky if you can get someone at work to install a fresh tp roll in the bathrooms 🤦♀️ Let a beautiful young female coworker ask and they defy gravity to do what they want 😂 We need to be jerks to the ones who cause us to feel this way-the MEN! Not the young women. I’ve always been fine to take a backseat to a younger generation. It’s their time to shine! But it does get aggravating when you can’t get help when you need it in the workplace.
@@maryannspicher Love your bright smile and all the insights you shared! 💖
PLEASE, the 8 hours of sleep tip is so true! I hear people being so proud about not sleeping properly and some even had the AUDACITY to tell me "oh you'll see, you'll start doing the same soon lol" like hELL NAW, do I look like I am trying to become a raisin by the time I hit 30? I have never neglected my sleep and it s h o w s. I am healthy, no dark circles, my organs are functioning better than a lot of people's, my mental health is great and MY SKIN IS NOT SUFFERING FROM LACK OF SLEEP. Like, PLEASE, let's remove this stupid ass "sleep is for the weak" trend. I see people OLDER than me participate in this dumb mentality and keep in mind that I am quite young, I am barely 22, dangit.
We're singing from the same hymn book. Getting proper sleep is key, but I add drinking water and regular exercise to that regime. Without a doubt sleep is essential for good physical and mental health. ❤❤❤